Faith, Trust and Tears

This episode marks a pause. God is leading me into a season of stillness, stripping, and rebuilding. I talk about the spiritual warfare I’ve been walking through, the friendships that fell away, the patterns God exposed in me, and why He’s calling me into a quiet place with Him. Just like Jesus in the wilderness, this season is about obedience, honesty, and letting God remake me from the root. Whenever I return, I pray it’s with a renewed spirit and a clearer purpose anchored in Him.

If you have ever read Proverbs and felt personally attacked, welcome to the club. I talk about my daily commitment to this book, how God exposed my gossip, my fear, my false humility, and the way I tear myself down without noticing. It is rough, but it is freedom.

This episode sits in the middle of my real life. My relationships have been shifting. People have been pulling away. I shaved my head and stepped into a new version of myself, and the reactions have been mixed. I have felt judged, misunderstood, and alone. But even in the middle of that loneliness, God has been pressing on my heart that He is still shaping me. 

I did something I’ve been wanting to do for years...I shaved my head. Not for a trend, not out of impulse, but because God told me to cut it off. For years, my hair was tied to my identity, my confidence, and honestly, my need for approval. But when it all had to go, I realized He was freeing me from way more than dead ends.

This week and last week have been rough. I cried more than I want to admit, had panic attacks, and felt like the enemy was trying to wear me down, but God was louder. Through all the fear and chaos, I saw growth. I saw strength. I saw faith that actually stood.God humbled me, reminded me to slow down, to stop rushing, to be content with what I already have. And even when I spiraled into old habits, He met me right where I was... again.

This week, I realized how hard it is for me to just accept blessings without waiting for something to go wrong. I was talking to my mom about how blessed I’ve felt—how God’s been answering prayers and showing up everywhere I turn. and in the same breath, I started doubting it. Like, “What if this is just the calm before the storm?”But God’s been teaching me something new: to rest in His goodness. To stop bracing for trials and start trusting His timing. To see blessings as blessings, not warnings.

This week, I hit a wall. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so far from God until I realized, I’d fallen into sin and started hiding. Shame took over. I spiraled. I broke. But God met me in the middle of it on the floor, in silence, and reminded me what grace really means.

I’ll be real, I’ve spent a lot of my life praying like God was my problem-solver on call. “Fix this, bless that, make this easier.” But lately, God’s been convicting me to flip the question: instead of “what can You do for me,” asking “Lord, what can I do for You?”

 In this episode I’m coming for your comfort zone and mine too. Laziness, excuses, and blaming the devil for stuff he didn’t even do!! it’s all on the table. I dig into what God actually says about laziness, how we love to overcomplicate change, and why the power to move forward is already in us through Christ and yes I’m calling you out. If you’ve been waiting for motivation, this is your sign to get up and do it.

In this episode, I share my raw reaction to the shocking assassination of Charlie Kirk, a man who loved Jesus, spoke boldly about his faith, and sought to unite people despite differences. I reflect on the darkness in our world, the desensitization social media brings, and why we must cling to Jesus above all else.

This week I’m talking about what it feels like when God puts a mirror in front of your face through situations and people. I’ve been seeing my flaws clearer than ever, and instead of running, I’ve been learning to lean into God, let Him reshape me, and embrace the uncomfortable. It’s been messy, funny, convicting, but also full of joy.

Last week was one of the hardest weeks I’ve had in a long time. My family was going through it, I was stressed, late to work, no sleep felt like enough, and honestlyI was burnt out in every sense of the word. I didn’t even want to go to church on Sunday. But that’s exactly where God met me. He reminded me that I’ve been leaning on myself instead of Him. He used my mom’s faith to convict me, humbled me, and then restored me all in one moment. This episode is me walking through that encounter, what God revealed, and why I know He’s not done with me or my family.

I spent years begging God for peace and love. Instead, I got heartbreak, fake friends, loneliness, sin, and straight-up chaos. But it turns out, I wasn’t being punished.. I was being refined. In this episode, I’m talking about God’s perfect timing, how His “better” is nothing like the “better” I had in mind, and why letting go of my own plan changed everything.

’m diving into one of my biggest struggles.. music, movies, and entertainment. From growing up on Ariana Grande and Broadway to vibing with Drake, Nicki, and Chris Brown, I never realized how much the lyrics and shows I consumed were shaping me. God started convicting me, and suddenly all I could hear was sex, drugs, violence, and depression on repeat. I’ll share how I found peace in worship, Christian rap, and R&B that actually glorifies God, and why it’s easier now to walk away from Hollywood’s mockery of Him. This is about choosing what feeds your spirit and realizing not everything “catchy” is harmless.

I’m gonna be honest y'all my Bible’s been sitting right next to my bed for a while, collecting dust. My flesh has been lazy, my spirit starving, and I’ve been letting everyday life take God’s place in my priorities. Even my morning verse habit with a pastor friend has gone stale… I send it without reading it. In this episode, I’m talking about what it really looks like when your walk with God loses intentionality, how easy it is to drift, and how dangerous it is to stay there. This isn’t about guilt for guilt’s sake, it’s about waking up before you spiritually dry out completely.

Why do we crave attention we don’t even want? From blasting music in my car to nights out that never matched who I am, I’ve wrestled with the pull to be noticed and the emptiness it leaves behind. In this episode, I talk about breaking the cycle of seeking validation, why it never delivers, and how to shift our focus back to God’s approval over everyone else’s.

I’m not great with money. I’ve put myself in more debt buying a new car I didn’t need but totally “aligned” with, I online shop when I’m bored instead of talking to God, and I’ve had Whole Foods rot in my fridge while I ate Chick-fil-A three times a week. But here’s the thing..God has always provided. Even in my most broke moments, He’s humbled me, blessed me, and reminded me He’s still paying attention. In this episode, I’m sharing how I prayed about my finances, still messed up, and somehow ended up with a raise I didn’t even know was coming. If you’ve ever felt undeserving of God’s provision, this one’s for you.

So I was ready to risk it all for a tan. I planned a spontaneous trip to San Diego, just me, my AirPods, and the sun. But from the moment I tried to start my car at 3am, God was like, “Yeah… no.” Anxiety, tire lights, stove paranoia, and a tsunami watch later,I turned around and went home. And then… the next day, God lined up everything for me to buy a brand-new car. Like… huh?! This episode is about those moments when you’re chasing one thing and God redirects you to something better. It’s also about surrender, trusting God even when you’re stubborn, and how He really does go before us—even if it takes a broken-down Quesadilla to get our attention.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I keep saying the same thing on this podcast over and over again. The same heartache. The same healing. The same prayer. But then I realized... that’s the point. God hasn’t changed. And in every struggle, every breakthrough, every quiet moment, I see Him holding my hand. In this episode, I’m talking about the insecurity I’ve been battling in creating these episodes, how obedience sometimes means saying it again, and why I’m surrendering my platform to God’s timing, not my pride. I also share a story about a recent "God kiss" that reminded me why I keep going. If you’re in a season that feels repetitive, maybe it’s not a rut maybe it’s refinement.

I woke up with a heavy chest and no clue why. Everything felt off, my thoughts were spinning, and a simple email triggered this wave of anxiety that made me question everything. This episode is me being real about that. About how hard it is to receive criticism, how fast shame creeps in, and how anxiety convinces us we’re failing even when we’re not. I talk through what it means to be overwhelmed, to overthink, to feel like you’re not enough and how God meets us in that mess.

The truth is, the end times are unfolding before our eyes, and Satan is working overtime to pull people away from Jesus. But I’m choosing life over death, peace over chaos, love over lust. I’m learning that I don’t need anything this world offers—all I need is God. This is my battle cry, my confession, and my declaration: I belong to Jesus, and I’m not giving up.

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of suicidal ideationThis might be the most vulnerable episode I’ve ever recorded. I open up about the times my emotions took me to the edge. When the weight of pain, trauma, and abandonment made me feel like I didn’t want to live anymore. I talk about how I used to settle for anyone who would choose me, even people who hurt me, just to feel something. Just to not feel alone.But God didn’t let me stay there.He delivered me from depression, and now I’m trusting Him to break anxiety and fear next. I share how even though God’s love is real, it doesn’t always feel familiar, because when all you’ve known is chaos, peace feels foreign.

I wanna talk about how emotions have been my biggest enemy lately!! Especially when it comes to missing someone who isn’t coming back. I open up about how easy it is to let my feelings become idols, how I almost forgot what peace with God even feels like, and how the flesh will always try to take over when our faith is running low.

I’ve spent so much of my life trying to love people into healing. Thinking if I just prayed harder, stayed longer, forgave more, they’d finally change. But the truth is.,you can’t save everyone. And you’re not supposed to.In this episode, I’m talking about what it looks like to love someone and still walk away. To stop carrying weight that was never yours. It’s not about giving up, it’s about surrendering what only God can fix. If you’ve been pouring yourself out trying to rescue someone who won’t meet you halfway, this one’s for you.

I want to share the breakthrough that came at the breaking point right after I uploaded my last episode "God's Will, Not Mine" . When I hit the treadmill after another moment of heartbreak, I didn’t know I was walking straight into a holy encounter with God. This is for anyone who’s still holding on, still crying, still wondering if peace will ever come. You might be standing at your own Red Sea. And what happens next could change everything.

This is about laying down control, dying to your own dreams, and walking away from the life you thought you wanted. Because sometimes, obedience looks like walking away from everything you asked God for. If you’ve ever asked “Why would God let this happen?” or “Why is nothing going how I thought it would?”this episode is for you...and me

Jesus is coming back! This episode is your wake-up call. Whether you’ve never given your life to Him or you’ve been saved for years, the return of Christ should change how you live right now. In this raw, Spirit-led message, I talk about what it really means to be ready, the urgency of surrendering your life to Jesus, and the responsibility believers have to share the gospel without fear or apology.This isn’t a feel-good pep talk. It’s truth—with love and urgency. If your heart’s been lukewarm or you’ve been putting off real repentance, don’t wait another day. Eternity is too important to gamble with.Also Happy 4th of July!

If your walk with God has been feeling dry or boring, maybe you’re not seeing Him in the simple things. In this episode, I’m sharing how I started finding JOY in the everyday: baking, cooking, trying new things, messing up, and trying again. I’ll share some stories, some scriptures, and a whole lot of love. Because God is in every moment, and life with Him is anything but dull.

Tired of being strong all the time? Same. In this episode, I get brutally honest about what it feels like to be deep in the healing process and still secretly just want to be chosen, loved, and held.We talk about healing fatigue, emotional burnout, and the frustration of doing “all the right things” with no husband in sight. I share what the Bible says about growing weary, the purpose of this waiting season, and why God hasn’t forgotten you.This one’s for every woman who’s tired of journaling through heartbreaks and just wants the love she’s been praying for.Come sit with me. Cry a little, laugh a little, and be reminded: God isn’t punishing you! He’s preparing you.

I’m the kind of woman who gives her whole heart...quickly. I pray about a man once, he says the right things, and suddenly I’m imagining our wedding playlist and naming our future kids. But lately, God’s been working on me through therapy, scripture, and some very real disappointments.In this episode, I talk about what my therapist told me: to treat every man like practice—not in a disrespectful way, but in a protective way. Practice for boundaries. Practice for discernment. Practice for not abandoning yourself just because someone shows you attention.Not every man is your husband. Some are just lessons dressed in charm. And learning that has changed how I date, how I pray, and how I protect my peace. Let’s talk.

Have you ever been told you're too much? Too emotional, too intense, too invested? Yeah... me too. For years, I carried shame for being a woman who feels deeply and loves hard. But what if I told you that your tenderness is not a weakness—it’s your design? In this episode, I’m pouring out a word for the woman who’s been rejected for her big heart. I recorded this on Father's Day, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the Father we all long for—the One who doesn’t say "too much," but instead says, "Come closer." We’ll dive into a beautiful biblical story of a woman God met personally, explore scripture that affirms your womanhood, and remember the truth: you were never too much for the God who made you.

In today’s episode, I open up about how being displaced from my apartment into a small dorm while my bathroom was being renovated affected me more deeply than I expected. My mental health, my sleep, even my walk with God—all of it felt like it was crumbling. I stopped eating right, I started going out to clubs just to escape the space I was in. But God... He used that tiny, uncomfortable dorm to teach me something sacred. That our environments matter. That where we are physically can shape us spiritually. That joy doesn’t come from a place—it comes from Him. And that when He gives it back, it comes with interest.

This episode is a hard one for me (SERIOUSLY). I’m sharing a moment where I slipped — not just in behavior, but in my alignment with God. It came from a place of loneliness, distraction, and a desire to feel something… and after the high faded, all I was left with was a heavy heart. If you’ve ever made a decision you regretted the next day, this one’s for you. This episode isn’t about guilt-tripping or digging deep into shame — it’s about what it looks like to get up, come back, and realign with the Lord after missing the mark.

If you’ve ever wrestled with your flesh, felt the weight of conviction, or struggled to stand firm when it would be easier to give in… this episode is for you. I pray it encourages you, convicts you, and reminds you that the peace of God alwaysfollows obedience.Let’s talk about it

In this episode, I share how moving to Arizona helped reconnect me with God through the beauty of His creation. From the sunrises, to windy Mt. Lemmon to the quiet majesty of the stars, nature has become a constant reminder of His presence and power. I reflect on how God’s artwork in the world around us has deepened my faith and brought me closer to Him in ways I never expected.

I went clubbing… and cried the whole way home. I started the night spending time with God and somehow ended it compromising everything I stand for. In this episode, I open up about what led me there, what I learned, and how God met me in my regret. It’s not about shame—it’s about grace, growth, and choosing His way even after we mess up.

In this raw and honest episode, I open up about a relationship that consumed me. One where love slowly turned into idolatry. I share how I put a man and the idea of marriage above my identity, my peace, and even my relationship with God. We’ll dive into what Scripture says about hidden idols, how easily we let people sit on God’s throne in our hearts, and how to start healing when you realize your love life became your god. This one’s for the woman who’s loved too hard, stayed too long, or believed being chosen by a man meant she was finally enough. Let’s talk truth, repentance, and real freedom in Christ. It’s time to take love off the pedestal and put God back in His rightful place

Why is it so hard to get up in the morning sometimes? Not just physically—but spiritually. In this episode, we’re getting real about what it means to feel spiritually under attack before the day even starts. If you’ve ever felt like waking up is a war, this one’s for you.

Whether you’re waiting on love, clarity, a new job, healing, or just a dang sign, this one’s for you. I’m talkin’ about the loud silence— the space between “I believe” and “it is done.” But there’s beauty in the stillness. God did not forget you — He’s preparing something you can’t rush. Your name will be called.

In this very first episode of Faith, Trust & Tears, I’m opening up about why I started this podcast, a glimpse into my story, and how God’s carried me through the mess. We laugh, we cry, we pray. Let’s go and welcome home