Go Therefore Podcast

This question comes up again and again, usually whispered, sometimes angry, often soaked in pain:How do I forgive someone who abused me?What about people who did unspeakable things?What about those sitting in prison—can they really be saved?If you’ve ever asked this, let me say this first—clearly and without spiritual fluff:Forgiveness is not the same as excusing.It is not denial.It is not pretending evil didn’t happen.And it is not reconciliation without repentance.The Bible never asks victims to call evil “good.”Forgiveness Is a Command — But It’s Not CheapJesus tells us to forgive “seventy times seven.”That verse is often used like a weapon against the wounded.But forgiveness in Scripture is not casual.It is costly.Jesus didn’t say, “Just get over it.”He said, “Pick up your cross.”Forgiveness costs something because sin costs something.That’s why forgiveness is never free—it’s just paid for by someone else.Justice Still Matters to GodOne of the biggest lies Christians absorb is this idea that forgiveness cancels justice.It doesn’t.Romans tells us God is just.Revelation shows us God judges.The cross proves God takes sin seriously.Forgiveness does not mean:* The abuser avoids consequences* The crime didn’t matter* The wound wasn’t realGod is not offended by courts, prisons, or consequences.In fact, Scripture says governing authorities exist to restrain evil.Someone can be forgiven by God and still serve a sentence.Those two things are not enemies.Can Someone Who Did Horrific Things Be Saved?This question makes us uncomfortable because we want salvation to feel deserved.But Christianity dismantles that idea entirely.Paul hunted Christians.David arranged murder.Moses killed a man.The thief on the cross was guilty—no time for restitution, no life cleaned up.And Jesus saved him anyway.Not because his crimes were small.But because grace is big.Salvation doesn’t declare someone innocent.It declares Christ sufficient.But What About the Victim?This is the question that matters most—and often gets ignored.God does not rush the wounded.Psalm after Psalm is written by people screaming, not smiling.Forgiveness in the Bible is often a process, not a moment.Sometimes it starts with:“God, I want to forgive, but I can’t yet.”That prayer is not rejected.Forgiveness does not mean trusting again.It does not mean restoring access.It does not mean silence.It means releasing the right to vengeance into God’s hands—when you are ready, sometimes one trembling step at a time.The Cross Holds Both TruthsHere is the tension Christianity refuses to flatten:* Sin is so serious it required the death of Christ* Grace is so powerful it can reach anyoneGod does not minimize what was done to you.He absorbed the cost Himself.That’s why forgiveness isn’t saying, “It didn’t matter.”It’s saying, “God, You matter more than my right to destroy.”Final ThoughtYou are not asked to forgive because what they did was small.You are invited to forgive because Christ is strong enough to carry both your pain and their sin—without collapsing justice or mercy.And sometimes forgiveness looks like this:“I forgive you… and I still need boundaries.”“I forgive you… and I still tell the truth.”“I forgive you… and I trust God to judge rightly.”That is biblical.That is honest.That is grace.Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gotherefore.substack.com

There is a question I hear whispered over and over again by Christian women—sometimes in my inbox, sometimes in comment sections, sometimes only in their own hearts:Am I supposed to stay if I’m being abused?It’s often asked with fear, guilt, and deep spiritual confusion. Many women have been taught that faithfulness means endurance at any cost, that holiness looks like silence, and that submission means remaining where harm is happening.That is not what Scripture teaches.Jesus Never Asks You to Follow Someone Who Is Not Submitting to HimAt the center of Christianity is this truth: Christ is Lord. Not husbands. Not pastors. Not institutions. Christ.Every earthly relationship is ordered under Him.When Jesus says, “Follow Me,” He never means “follow someone into sin, destruction, or violence.” The call to follow Christ is a call into life, truth, and freedom—not fear.Marriage is no exception.What Biblical Leadership Actually RequiresScripture is clear that husbands are called to lead—but biblical leadership does not look like control, intimidation, or harm.Ephesians 5:25 says:“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”Christ’s leadership is sacrificial. Protective. Gentle. Self-controlled.A husband cannot lead biblically unless he is first submitting to Christ.Leadership in God’s kingdom always flows downward—through humility, repentance, and obedience to God. When a man refuses Christ’s authority, he is not leading his family. He is rebelling.Abuse Is Not HeadshipThis needs to be said plainly:Abuse is not headship.Control is not leadership.Fear is not submission.A man who harms his wife or children is not exercising biblical authority—he is violating it.And when harm becomes a pattern, the covenant has already been broken—not by the woman seeking safety, but by the one choosing violence.God Does Not Ask You to Endure Sin So Someone Else Can Avoid RepentanceNowhere in Scripture does Jesus command women or children to remain in danger so a man can continue in unrepentant sin.God cares deeply about repentance—but repentance is not words. It is fruit. It is change. It is submission to Christ.Remaining in abuse does not sanctify the abuser.It only normalizes the sin.Protecting Your Life and Your Children Is Not a Lack of FaithSeeking safety is not rebellion.Leaving harm is not a failure.Survival is not sin.Throughout Scripture, God consistently positions Himself as a defender of the vulnerable. He does not minimize violence. He does not excuse it in the name of order. He does not confuse suffering with holiness.If you are being harmed, God is not disappointed in you for choosing life.A Marriage Can Only Thrive Under Mutual Submission to ChristBiblical marriage works when both spouses submit to God.When that submission is absent—when Christ is rejected, when sin is doubled down on, when harm continues unchecked—what remains is not a God-ordered union, but disorder.You are not called to follow disobedience.You are not called to submit to abuse.You are called to follow Christ.And Christ does not lead His people into violence.If this piece resonates with you, you are not alone—and you are not faithless for asking hard questions. Light exposes lies. Truth brings freedom.Grace and peace.Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gotherefore.substack.com