In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Kristen, a single public school teacher from North Carolina, shares her journey into foster care and adoption. After facing fertility challenges and separation, her experience with foster children in her classroom inspired her to become a foster parent. She recounts accepting placement of a five-year-old boy, taking him on a beach trip just days later, and navigating early behavioral challenges. With a strong support system of family, colleagues, and professionals, Kristen witnessed remarkable growth in her son. Early last year, she finalized his adoption, calling it the greatest joy of her life. On experiencing "firsts" as a foster parent: “I still think that there's a lot of other firsts that they can experience with older children. Maybe they don't get those early experiences losing their first tooth or, you know, walking or things like that. But definitely with older children, there's the first day of this grade level or trying a new sport, getting to do or go places that they've never had the opportunity to do or go. Even trying a food for the first time.” —Kristen What You Will Learn: Kristen's journey into foster care and adoption Initial plans and challenges related to motherhood and fertility treatments The impact of her teaching experience on her decision to foster The process of accepting her first placement, a five-year-old boy Early experiences and adjustments after the placement Emotional and behavioral challenges faced by the child and Kristen The importance of a support system for foster parents Growth and development of the child over two years Maintaining connections with the child's birth family Misconceptions about fostering and encouragement for potential foster parents Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro00:27 – Meet Kristen01:29 – Initial Plans and Decision to Foster02:58 – Getting Licensed and First Placement Call03:17 – Preparing for a Five-Year-Old and Beach Trip05:01 – First Days and Building Connection06:13 – Experiencing Firsts with Older Children07:23 – First Few Weeks: Highs and Lows08:26 – Support System and Asking for Help09:52 – Balancing Single Parenting and Teaching11:02 – Growth and Development Over Two Years12:43 – Trauma, Triggers, and Progress14:15 – Bonding and Parent-Child Relationship15:26 – Maintaining Birth Family Connections16:47 – Talking About Birth Family with Her Son18:03 – Openness and Life Book19:28 – Maintaining Birth Family Connections20:42 – Emotional Challenges and Support from Specialists21:41 – Attachment and Letting Go23:33 – Misconceptions About Fostering and Adopting24:21 – Advice for Prospective Foster Parents25:12 – What It Means to Be His Mom26:08 – Personal Growth and Gains from Fostering27:34 – Final Advice and Encouragement29:07 – Episode ClosingEpisode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Amanda, a program supervisor at Children's Home Society of North Carolina and experienced foster and adoptive parent, shares her personal and professional journey in foster care. She discusses the growing shortage of foster families, increased needs of children post-COVID-19, and the importance of shared parenting—collaborating with birth families to support children in care. Amanda challenges common misconceptions about foster children, shares inspiring success stories, and encourages those considering fostering to take the step, emphasizing that while challenging, the experience is deeply rewarding and life-changing for everyone involved. On shared parenting: “Ideally what we want is someone who's open to that (shared parenting), even if the end goal is adoption, because there will always be children who need to be adopted. But what if you'reable to help a number of families before a child that doesn't have other options for permanency comes along, and you've grown your family by that many additional families? What a blessing that is.” —Amanda  What You Will Learn: Personal and professional journey in foster care and adoption Challenges and rewards of fostering children Current needs in the foster care system, particularly post-COVID-19 Shortage of foster families and barriers to fostering Importance of shared parenting and collaboration with birth parents Characteristics of effective foster parents Emotional challenges of fostering and the impact of saying goodbye Success stories of children overcoming trauma in loving homes The significance of love and relationships in fostering Myths and stereotypes about children in foster care and how to challenge them  Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to the Podcast00:36 – Amanda’s Background & Journey01:58 – Current Role & Family Experience02:46 – Pressing Needs in Foster Care04:32 – Changes in Foster Care Needs Post-COVID06:45 – What Makes a Good Foster Parent10:13 – Shared Parenting & Success Stories14:00 – Maintaining Connections After Reunification15:41 – Coping with Saying Goodbye17:43 – Foster Care Statistics & Call-to-Action18:03 – Transition From Foster Care to Adoption21:49 – Myths & Stereotypes About Children in Foster Care25:32 – Success Stories: Overcoming Trauma29:06 – Best Things About Fostering & Adoption31:01 – What Amanda Wishes She Knew Before Fostering33:17 – Greatest Wish for Foster Care System35:17 – Final Thoughts & Encouragement 35:58 – Personal Reflections on Adopted Children39:05 – Episode ClosingEpisode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, foster parent Mandie shares her family’s journey fostering teenagers. She discusses the challenges and rewards of building trust, supporting teens’ emotional needs, and preparing them for independence. Mandie highlights the importance of patience, compassion, and community support, while addressing misconceptions about fostering older children. Through personal stories, she emphasizes that attachment and love are essential, and encourages others to consider fostering, reminding listeners that every child deserves a safe, loving home. The episode offers honest insights and practical advice for current and prospective foster families. “You want to be that safe place for them. You want them to feel that love and security that they really need.”  —Mandie  What You Will Learn: Experiences and challenges of fostering children, particularly teenagers. The journey of a foster family since 2017, including the transition from fostering younger children to teens. The importance of building trust and connection with foster teens. Common misconceptions about fostering teenagers and addressing fears related to behavioral issues. Teaching essential life skills to foster teens in preparation for independence. Emotional challenges and breakthroughs in the foster care experience. The significance of celebrating milestones and achievements in a foster child's life. The impact of limited contact with biological parents on foster children. The role of community support and therapy for foster parents. Reflections on the transformative nature of fostering and the importance of love and attachment in caregiving.  Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction00:27 – Meet Mandie & Family Background01:59 – Fostering Teens: Why and How04:19 – Building Rapport with Teens07:31 – Breakthrough Moments & Emotional Growth10:33 – Deciding to Foster Older Children12:38 – Debunking Misconceptions about Fostering Teens17:34 – Teaching Life Skills & Overcoming Embarrassment18:59 – Celebrating Progress & Bonding Moments21:16 – Shared Parenting & Reunification22:35 – Supporting Emotional Needs & Safe Spaces25:33 – Learning & Growing as Foster Parents30:03 – Why Continue Fostering?33:52 – Advice for Prospective Foster Parents35:20 – The Importance of Support Systems36:33 – Redefining Motherhood & Final Reflections38:02 – Episode ClosingEpisode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, siblings Mikaila and Mat share their personal journey through the foster care system. Mikaila recounts her experiences with kinship care, abuse, and resilience, while Mat offers insight as her older brother and military serviceman. Together, they discuss the challenges of sibling separation, generational trauma, and the importance of supportive relationships. The conversation highlights the power of self-love, breaking cycles, and community support, while challenging stereotypes about foster youth. The hosts close with a call to action for fostering in North Carolina. “I want to be a dad just so I can prove that I can be a better dad than I had, so that I can prove to myself that I guess I'm not broken. And where I came from doesn't really define where I have to go.” – Mat  What You Will Learn: Personal stories and experiences of siblings in the foster care system. The impact of family dynamics and parental absence on children in foster care. Challenges faced by foster youth, including abuse, neglect, and instability. The role of kinship care and its potential downsides. The importance of sibling relationships and maintaining connections in foster care. Resilience and personal growth stemming from difficult childhood experiences. The significance of supportive relationships and mentorship in overcoming trauma. Misconceptions about foster children and the need for understanding their backgrounds. The role of community and support networks in aiding foster families. Encouragement for listeners to consider becoming foster parents and supporting foster youth.  Timestamps:Podcast Introduction (00:00:00)Guest Introductions (00:00:27)Mat’s Military Enlistment and Family Background (00:01:28)Family Breakdown and Mat’s Absence (00:04:16)Mikaila’s Experience in Kinship Care (00:06:40)Sibling Bond and Separation Trauma (00:10:04)Mat’s Caretaking Role and Family Dynamics (00:12:38)Communication Barriers and Mat’s Efforts to Reconnect (00:14:58)Reconnecting After Foster Care Placement (00:18:10)Mikaila’s Decision to Stay in Foster Care (00:19:43)Resilience and Its Origins (00:23:01)Lessons Learned and Advice (00:28:32)Reflections on Foster Care Stereotypes (00:32:49)Breaking Generational Cycles (00:36:35)Encouragement for Foster Parents and Closing Thoughts (00:39:39)Podcast Outro and Call to Action (00:41:27)Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, guest Kate, a former juvenile court attorney, shares her journey as a foster and adoptive mother of six. She discusses the challenges and rewards of transracial adoption, the importance of openness and communication, and the realities of parenting children with trauma. Kate also highlights the value of support networks and introduces her children’s books designed to help foster kids understand their experiences. Her candid insights offer guidance and encouragement to current and prospective foster families. “We feel very strongly that if you're going to adopt transracial, you need to make sure you live in a diverse community. That your religious home is diverse, that your friends are diverse.” — Kate What You Will Learn: Personal and professional journey into foster care and adoption Family dynamics involving biological, adopted, and foster children Experiences with transracial adoption and its challenges Importance of openness in adoption and maintaining connections with birth families Navigating identity and relationships within a transracial family The impact of trauma on children and parenting strategies The significance of sibling relationships and support in blended families Resources created to assist children in foster care with understanding their experiences Emotional complexities of fostering, including the bittersweet nature of reunification The necessity of community and support systems for foster parents Timestamps: Podcast Introduction (00:00:00) Meet Kate: Professional Background & Family Overview (00:00:27) Adoption and Early Parenting Experiences (00:01:20) Transition to Fostering (00:02:22) Parenting as an Older Parent: Pros and Cons (00:03:36)  Surprises in Parenting, Adoption, and Bonding (00:05:22) Sibling Dynamics and Family Evolution (00:07:35) Transracial Adoption: Family Makeup & Community (00:10:01) Parenting Transracially: Community, Racism, and Support (00:11:02) Handling Public Comments and Teaching Kids to Respond (00:16:14) Children’s Perspectives on Adoption and Openness (00:20:01) Open Adoption and Maintaining Birth Family Relationships (00:22:04)  Navigating Emotions in Open Adoption (00:23:24) Family Communication and Openness (00:26:05) Fostering Sibling Bonds and Family Unity (00:27:21) Managing Trauma and Parenting Foster Children (00:30:46) Apologizing and Repair in Parenting (00:34:04) Kate’s Children’s Books for Foster and Adopted Kids (00:36:15) Advice for Prospective Foster Parents (00:40:27) Episode Wrap-Up and Resources (00:42:27) Learn more about Kate’s Children’s Books for Foster and Adopted Kids through her website.Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode of "In Real Life Foster Care Unfiltered," Lauren and Joe, high school sweethearts from Connecticut, share their four-year journey as foster and adoptive parents. They discuss their motivations, the challenges of navigating agency support, relationships with biological families, and the impact on their own daughter. The couple highlights the importance of community, advocacy, and self-care, offering candid insights into the realities of fostering. Their story emphasizes the rewards of providing stability and love to children in need, and offers practical advice for those considering foster care or adoption. “We have so much love to give. Why not give it to the others that need it?” —Joe  What You Will Learn: Experiences and challenges of foster care and adoption Motivations for fostering and the desire to help children in need Importance of choosing the right agency and support systems Navigating relationships with biological families and shared parenting dynamics The transition from respite care to long-term placements Managing the emotional and behavioral needs of foster children The significance of consistency, structure, and boundaries in foster parenting The impact of fostering on biological children and family dynamics Advocacy for foster children's needs in educational and medical settings The importance of self-care and community support for foster parents Timestamps: Introduction to the Podcast (00:00) Meet Lauren and Joe: Their Background and Motivation (00:54) Starting the Foster Care Journey (02:04)First Experiences: Respite Placements and COVID-19 (04:01) Transition to Long-Term Placements and Adoption (05:28)Learning Curves: Developmental Differences and Trauma (07:02) Adjusting to Older Children and Sibling Dynamics (08:35) Shared Parenting and Relationships with Biological Families (12:44) Patience and Navigating the System (13:42) Paperwork and Administrative Challenges (15:59)Support Systems: Family, Community, and Agencies (18:26) Motivations and Reflections on Helping Children (21:03) Agency Support and Community Resources (23:15) Shared Parenting: Highs, Lows, and Best Practices (24:14)Advocacy and Standing Up for Foster Children (30:17)Consistency, Boundaries, and Parenting Approaches (33:05) Blended Family and Maintaining Connections (35:11) Taking Breaks and Self-Care (36:41)Most Rewarding Moments and Reflections (37:29) Advice for Prospective Foster Parents (42:45) Knowing Your Limits and Setting Expectations (44:02) Building Your Village and Navigating Foster Care Terminology (48:07) Closing and Final Thoughts (48:44) Final thanks, encouragement, and information for listeners interested in foster care. Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

What does it really mean to raise children who don’t look like you? In this honest episode, host Shannon talks with foster and adoptive parents Ashley, Jeff, and Tori about the realities of transracial foster care and adoption — the joy, challenges, microaggressions, and responsibility of parenting across racial lines. The families share how race became part of their foster care journey, the growth and advocacy required, and the hard conversations many parents aren’t prepared for. From public scrutiny and intrusive questions to hair care, school bias, safety concerns, and the myth of being “colorblind,” this episode gives voice to what transracial foster and adoptive parents often experience but rarely hear said out loud. “When we were adopting our son, a social worker asked us, ‘Are you ready to raise this boy as a Black man?’ At the time, my white wife and I thought that was the dumbest question ever. We thought, ‘Why would you say that? Why not just raise him as a man?’ That was the mindset I had been surrounded by my entire life. And I don’t believe that anymore. I don’t believe that was a stupid question.” -Jeff What You Will Learn: Why love alone isn’t enough in transracial foster care and adoption What parents wish they had known before saying yes How microaggressions show up in everyday life and how kids absorb them The emotional weight of advocating for your child in public spaces and school Why representation, community, and cultural humility matter How to prepare your child for conversations about race and identity The difference between good intentions and informed parenting  Timestamps: 00:00 – Transracial foster care overview 00:27 – Guests introduction 01:18 – Transracial family makeup 04:19 – Choosing transracial foster care 14:21 – Preparing for transracial parenting 19:32 – Challenges in transracial foster care 29:26 – Microaggressions & public reactions 34:31 – Microaggressions explained 40:15 – Encouraging community moment 43:33 – Resources for transracial families 53:26 – Advice for foster parents 01:02:38 – Final thoughts on foster care 01:03:10 – Podcast outro Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode, Ashley shares how her family of seven became nine after a change in North Carolina law allowed larger families to foster. She describes the licensing process, welcoming two young siblings, and the challenges and joys of expanding their family. Ashley discusses building a relationship with the children’s birth mother, the emotional complexities of adoption, and the vital support from organizations and her community. Her story highlights the importance of flexibility, keeping siblings together, and the transformative impact of fostering.“I’m very normal, very ordinary, but God uses ordinary people to do great things. We need to stop looking at foster parents as superheroes. We’re regular people who just do what it takes in the moment as life comes at us. If you see there is a need and you can fill it, do it. - Ashley  What You Will Learn: Experiences of foster families in North Carolina The Loving Homes Act and its impact on fostering The process of becoming licensed foster parents Challenges and adjustments of integrating children into a large family Importance of keeping siblings together in foster care Emotional complexities of shared parenting with biological families Support systems and resources available for foster families The significance of individual attention for each child in a large family The impact of fostering on family dynamics and relationships Encouragement for potential foster parents and addressing misconceptions about fostering  Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction and podcast purpose 00:59 – Meet Ashley and her family 01:54 – Discovering the NC law change 04:16 – The Loving Homes Act  07:52 – Welcoming their first placement 09:49 – Reuniting siblings 11:28 – Honeymoon stage and early challenges 14:06 – Adjusting to a larger family 17:08 – Homeschooling adjustments 18:25 – Protecting family & couple time 20:27 – Visits, appointments, and casework 22:21 – Shared parenting with birth mom 24:38 – Adoption finalization 25:59 – Loss and emotions in adoption 28:27 – Talking with biological children 29:08 – Adoption Day emotions 31:04 – Birth mom’s sacrifice 32:47 – Support systems and community help  36:20 – Creating comfort and security 37:33 – Building trust and attachment 40:25 – Encouragement for foster parents 44:37 – The need for more foster homes 46:51 – Best parts of fostering and adoption 48:21 – Closing and listener invitation Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode of In Real Life Foster Care Unfiltered, Shannon chats with Tara, a foster parent with 25 years’ experience. Tara shares her journey into fostering, her focus on supporting teenagers, and the importance of building a strong community and collaborating with birth families. She reflects on the challenges, joys, and personal growth that come with fostering, offering encouragement and practical advice for prospective foster parents. The episode highlights the lasting impact of providing stability, love, and support for youth in foster care, especially those often overlooked. “If I have an empty room in my house and there’s a child sleeping on an air mattress at social services, that hits me hard.” - Tara  What You Will Learn: Personal motivations for fostering and the influence of early life experiences. The importance of having a stable, caring adult in a child's life. Challenges and misconceptions surrounding fostering teenagers. The evolving nature of parenting and the need for adaptability. Maintaining relationships with foster children after they leave the home. The challenges faced by youth aging out of foster care. The significance of community support and shared parenting. The role of biological families in the fostering process. Celebrating small victories and individual growth in foster children. Encouragement for prospective foster parents to take the leap and the urgent need for foster homes.  Timestamps: Intro & Podcast Purpose (0:00) Meet Tara, Foster Parent (0:27) Why Tara Started Fostering (1:03) Fostering Teens: Joys & Lessons (2:13) Myths About Fostering Teenagers (5:16) Parenting with Grace & Flexibility (6:00) Staying Connected After Care (7:39) Supporting Youth Who Age Out (9:19) 25 Years of Fostering: Biggest Lessons (11:02) Youth Growth & Success Stories (14:16) Foster Care Needs in NC (15:39) Advice for Prospective Foster Parents (15:59) Building a Support System (18:55) Shared Parenting & Birth Families (22:27) What Keeps Tara Fostering (24:44) Celebrating Milestones (27:29) Final Advice & Encouragement (28:21) Closing & How to Get Involved (30:22)  Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

Foster and adoptive mom Tracey shares the real story behind foster care — love, loss, reunification, and the courage to say “yes” again. She talks about navigating reunification, the realities of transracial adoption, supporting children’s identity, and building relationships with birth families. Tracey’s honesty reveals both the heartbreak and the deep rewards of fostering, offering encouragement to anyone considering foster care or adoption. "There’s no perfect answer for why we keep fostering. We just have this need to open our home and love in every way we can. It’s worth every tear, every late night, every heartbreak. I’d do it over and over again because we love being parents and showing a child that someone can love them unconditionally, just because." -Tracey   What You Will Learn: Tracey’s foster care and adoption journey since 2016. Emotional challenges of fostering, including reunification. Effects of fostering on family dynamics across races and backgrounds. Importance of openness about birth origins and identity. Practical aspects of transracial adoption, like hair care and culture. Emotional difficulty of goodbyes and maintaining birth-family ties. Essential role of support systems and community. Strong protective instincts and focus on children’s well-being. Rewards of fostering, including children’s growth and transformation. Encouragement for future foster/adoptive parents, highlighting love and commitment.  Timestamps: Intro (0:00) Tracey’s Background (0:27) Choosing to Foster (1:06) First Placement & Reunification (3:17) Coping with Loss (4:40) Why Continue Fostering (7:27) Impact on Kids & Families (10:24) Family Growth (12:08) Community Support (15:40) CHS Call to Action (18:36) Most Rewarding Moments (18:56) Adoption Questions (21:17) Transracial Adoption (25:34) Fears & Challenges (28:13) Support Systems (33:36) Final Encouragement (36:41) Closing & Resources (38:59) Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode of "In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered," leaders from Children’s Home Society of North Carolina discuss the urgent need for foster families, the realities faced by children in foster care, and common misconceptions about fostering.  They highlight the shortage of foster homes, the importance of keeping siblings together and children in their communities, and the support offered to foster parents. The team shares success stories and encourages listeners to consider fostering or supporting children in care, emphasizing that anyone can make a meaningful difference in a child’s life. “What really gets me is thinking about that child sitting there, listening to DSS call families and hearing families say ‘no, no, no.’ Just thinking of the trauma that continues to inflict on them is really sad.” Jeremy Wagner  What You Will Learn: Current state of foster care in North Carolina Decrease in the number of licensed foster families post-COVID-19 Urgent need for foster families to accommodate over 11,000 children in care Challenges faced by children entering foster care, including trauma and instability Importance of keeping sibling groups together in foster placements Need for children to remain in or near their home communities for stability Common misconceptions about foster care and birth families Qualities needed to be a successful foster parent Support and training provided to foster families by organizations Success stories and positive impacts of fostering on children’s lives Timestamps: 00:27 – Introductions 02:29 – State of Foster Care in NC 04:41 – Children Sleeping in DSS Offices 07:12 – Who Are the Children? 08:47 – Sibling Groups & Placement 12:08 – Keeping Kids in Community 13:36 – Why Children Enter Care 15:31 – Misconceptions 18:09 – Youth Resilience 20:26 – Urgent & After-Hours Needs 23:00 – Recruitment & Support 24:56 – Training & Ongoing Support 29:01 – One-on-One Family Education 30:00 – Rewards & Success Stories 34:27 – How to Help 37:18 – Final Thoughts 38:45 – Closing Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode of In Real Life Foster Care Unfiltered, Theresa shares her personal journey into foster care, inspired by her father’s experience. As a single mom, she discusses the challenges and rewards of fostering, the importance of preparation and support, and how she involves her teenage son in the process. Theresa also highlights the emotional complexities of reunification and the value of community and advocacy, offering encouragement and practical advice for current and prospective foster families. “In the beginning, it was hard, really hard, and I almost gave up. But I'm glad I took the risk. I jumped in with both feet, and this was the right thing for me. You're never going to be 100% ready, so stop with that; if this is your calling, do it, and be okay with the unexpected. I learned that it was okay to ask for help and to lean on others as a network.” – Theresa  What You Will Learn: Personal journey of becoming a licensed foster parent Connection to foster care through family history Initial experiences and challenges of first placements Importance of preparation and adaptability in fostering Misconceptions about love being sufficient in foster care Role of support, education, and advocacy in fostering Involvement of existing family members in the fostering process Transition from traditional to therapeutic foster parenting Emotional complexities of the reunification process Value of support networks and community in foster care  Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction 00:00:28 – Meet Teresa 00:05:02 – Early Influences 00:06:45 – First Placement 00:10:12 – Training & Preparation 00:11:59 – Facing the Unknowns 00:13:51 – Family & Support Systems 00:16:56 – CHS Message 00:17:16 – Preparing Biological Children 00:20:01 – Transition to Therapeutic Care 00:22:44 – Coping Through Creativity 00:24:02 – Reunification & Shared Parenting 00:28:02 – Emotional Growth 00:29:10 – Hopes for Her Foster Child 00:32:04 – Teamwork & Resources 00:33:16 – Asking for Help 00:36:13 – Advice for Prospective Foster Parents 00:37:09 – Wrap-Up Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Tori, a foster and adoptive parent, shares her powerful story of building a family through foster care and transracial adoption. A former educator, Tori opens up about her journey to fostering and adopting three children, the emotional ups and downs of parenting through trauma, and her experience as an African American mother raising Caucasian children. She reflects on identity, belonging, and how love and community can bridge cultural differences. This heartfelt conversation highlights the realities of transracial adoption, the importance of diversity and representation, and the need for more families to open their hearts to fostering in North Carolina. “Whether you birth them in your womb or birth them from your heart, love makes a family.” - ToriWhat You Will Learn: Journey into foster care and adoption Decision-making process for fostering and adopting Background and motivations of the guest as an educator and advocate Experiences of fostering and adopting multiple children Challenges of transracial adoption in a southern context Navigating societal perceptions and assumptions about family dynamics Importance of preparing children for societal interactions and questions Representation in literature for diverse family structures Emphasis on love as the foundation of family and community Call to action for supporting vulnerable children and becoming foster parents  For more of Tori's story, watch here.Timestamps: (00:00) Introduction (00:27) Meet Tori (01:28) Journey to Fostering (03:12) First Days (06:13) Expanding the Family (08:01) Early Reflections (08:46) Navigating Transracial Adoption (10:30) Transracial Parenting (11:26) Talking About Race (12:35) Facing Public Perceptions (14:40) Addressing Trauma (17:23) Open Communication (18:51) Confidence & Representation (25:29) Family Traditions (26:42) Parenting Joys (32:59) Birth Family Connections (35:29) Belonging & Heritage (37:09) Hopes for the Future (39:25) Message to Future Foster Parents (41:51) Closing Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Mikaila shares her powerful journey of entering foster care at age 12, the trauma of removal, and the life-changing impact of her first foster mom. Now a Family Recruitment Specialist with Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, Mikaila uses her lived experience to inspire and support foster families across the state. Her story highlights the urgent need for foster parents, the importance of community support, and the lasting difference one safe, loving home can make.“When you’ve aged out of foster care, you don’t have the privilege to ignore the crisis. It stays with you every day.” -Mikaila. Whether you’re considering fostering, supporting a foster family, or simply want to understand the child welfare crisis in North Carolina, Mikaila’s story will leave you inspired to act.  What You’ll Learn Mikaila’s journey from foster youth to family advocate and kinship care provider. The realities children face when entering foster care and the trauma of removal. Why North Carolina urgently needs more foster parents and safe, stable homes. How supportive foster parents and mentors can change a child’s future. The unique role of kinship care in keeping families connected. Why fostering is a community effort and how you can help even if you don’t foster. The resources and support available for foster families through CHS. Timestamps: 00:00 Intro – Real foster care stories with CHSNC 00:28 Meet Mikaila – Recruiter & lived experience 01:05 Journey – From foster youth to advocate 03:29 Kinship Care – Raising her niece 04:37 Crisis – Need for foster parents in NC 06:38 Placement – Waiting at DSS as a child 07:41 Trauma – Removal and losing her pet 10:19 Empathy – Seeing through a child’s eyes 13:58 Community – Ways to help beyond fostering 15:12 Support – Getting involved in awareness 16:42 CHS – Call to action for foster parents 17:10 Calling – Giving back through experience 18:52 Teens – Addressing fears and myths 19:35 Mama B – The impact of her foster mom 26:40 Belonging – Helping kids feel valued 27:25 Lessons – Influences from many homes 28:22 Parenting – Biological vs. foster care 31:19 Support – Resources for foster families 34:44 Getting Started – Steps to begin fostering 36:10 Service – Foster care as lasting impact 39:21 Closing – How to get involved Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

12-year-old junior golfer Autumn and her adoptive father, Donnie, share their journey from foster care to adoption. Golf became a life-changing outlet for Autumn, helping her build confidence, mental resilience, and a positive outlook. With resilience, hope, and the transformative power of family and sports, they reflect on the challenges and joys of fostering, while offering encouragement to others considering adoption or foster care. “When I was in foster care, I knew there would be better days; getting adopted was by far the best day in the world. There are kids waiting for a foster home or waiting to get adopted, and people should want to help.” – Autumn “Don’t let your fear stop you from asking questions about foster care; that’s what led us to having the most amazing daughter in the world. There are kids like Autumn who are amazing and just need love to thrive; they were born to soar. Maybe they’re waiting for you.” – Donnie  What You’ll Learn in This Episode: The emotional journey of transitioning from foster care to adoption Autumn’s inspiring perspective on adoption and resilience How discovering golf transformed her life and confidence Life lessons learned from sports, competition, and perseverance Practical advice for prospective foster and adoptive parents Encouragement for youth currently in foster care The importance of advocacy, storytelling, and breaking stigmas in foster care  Timestamps:00:00 – Introduction and purpose of the podcast 00:27 – Meet Donnie and Autumn 00:46 – Autumn’s first day with her adoptive family 03:12 – Transition from foster care to adoption 05:04 – Autumn’s perspective on adoption 06:34 – Autumn’s joyful outlook and early life 09:24 – Choosing joy despite challenges 10:27 – Discovering golf & sports 12:34 – Becoming a top junior golfer 13:46 – Lessons learned from adoption 15:05 – Fears and hopes in fostering/adoption 17:12 – PSA: Foster care in NC 17:32 – Autumn’s charity golf tournament 19:33 – Life lessons from golf 25:11 – Staying positive through adversity 26:52 – Advice for children in foster care 28:21 – Advice for prospective foster/adoptive parents 31:56 – Raising awareness for adoption 33:02 – Sharing her story publicly 36:33 – Breaking stigmas and final thoughts 37:47 – Closing remarksEpisode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode of "In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered," guest Tim shares his inspiring journey as a professional in child welfare, which leads to being a single foster parent and then adoptive parent, as well as a kinship provider. Tim recounts becoming a guardian to twins, fostering to adopt an 8-year-old boy, and later fostering and adopting his niece through kinship care. He discusses the challenges, rewards, and milestones of building a family through fostering, the importance of trauma-informed parenting, and the value of community support. Tim encourages listeners to consider fostering, emphasizing the life-changing impact it can have on both children and families.  “I didn’t know what I was getting into at first; it was scary and overwhelming, but I had a supportive community. I’ve seen incredible growth in the children I cared for. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be willing. If you’ve ever wondered about fostering, take the next step. You could be the change a child is waiting for.” –Tim   What You Will Learn: Personal journey of becoming a foster and adoptive parent. Experiences and challenges faced in the child welfare system. The importance of stable and loving home environments for children in foster care. Transition from personal fostering to professional involvement in child welfare. Insights on kinship care and the process of fostering a family member. The significance of trauma-informed parenting and understanding children's behaviors. The role of support systems and community resources in fostering. Emotional milestones in the parent-child relationship during adoption. Strategies for managing expectations and power struggles with children. Encouragement for others to consider fostering or adopting and the impact it can have.  Timestamps:00:00 – Introduction00:51 – Meet Tim01:09 – Becoming a Guardian & Caseworker02:13 – First Adoption & Kinship Care04:01 – Common Threads in Care06:13 – Advice for New Families08:53 – Support Systems11:09 – Family Dynamics18:06 – Single Parenting20:16 – Foster Care in NC20:37 – Rewarding Moments25:21 – Parenting Lessons31:10 – Therapeutic Progress35:37 – Myths & Relationships40:29 – Family Is Forever42:37 – Encouragement43:20 – ClosingEpisode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

In this episode, Bennie shares her family’s powerful foster care journey—how she and her husband felt called to foster, the impact on their biological son, and the joys and challenges of opening their home. She emphasizes the importance of keeping siblings together, the ongoing need for foster parents (especially for older children and sibling groups), and the role of strong support systems in making fostering sustainable. Bennie’s story highlights the resilience of children in care, the gradual growth of love, and the profound rewards of providing a safe, nurturing home. Her story is one that shows how love can overcome previously held notions of what you think you can handle; she also offers practical, compassionate advice for families considering fostering.  “It has been the most rewarding and fulfilling experience I’ve ever had the pleasure of doing. I would 110%, without a doubt, do it again. I call it The Dream. For me, it’s sitting outside with a cold glass of iced tea in hand, watching my three kids laugh, play, and live out their beautiful little lives.  I would highly recommend it to anyone who's thinking about fostering.” –Bennie What you will hear in this episode: Why Bennie and her husband chose to become foster parents How fostering affected their biological son’s life and perspective The most rewarding moments of fostering—watching children heal and thrive Challenges of supporting children who have experienced trauma The value of agency support, caseworkers, and foster parent community connections Advice for new foster parents: research, prepare, and set realistic expectations The urgent need for foster parents for sibling groups and older children Insights on bonding with children in care vs. biological children What surprised Bennie most about the licensing process Her hopes and dreams for her children and reflections on the rewards of fostering  Timestamps  00:00 – Introduction  00:27 – Bennie’s Family and Starting the Foster Journey  02:05 – Deciding to Foster: Influences and Hesitations  04:04 – Parenting Biological Children vs. Children in Care  06:43 – Helping Children Adjust to Placement Changes  08:32 – Most Rewarding Aspects of Fostering  09:41 – Biggest Challenges in Fostering  11:45 – Support Systems for Foster Families  12:58 – Advice for Prospective Foster Parents  14:11 – Current Needs in the Foster Care System  15:18 – Importance of Keeping Siblings Together  17:21 – Reflections on Sibling Separation  19:58 – Foster Care Statistics and Call to Action  20:19 – Adjusting to New Family Routines  24:02 – Encouraging Emotional Expression  24:50 – Loving Children in Care vs. Biological Children  27:49 – Building Bonds and Overcoming Misconceptions  32:07 – Support from Other Foster Parents  33:00 – Most Surprising Aspects of Fostering  35:10 – Would You Do It Again?  36:24 – Openness and Flexibility in FosteringEpisode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

What happens when life takes an unexpected turn, and you still feel called to give back? In this inspiring episode, we meet a “Foster Granny” who began fostering after losing her husband. She shares the challenges and joys of opening her home later in life—from providing routine and structure to building trust with children in care. She discovered that fostering not only transforms children’s lives but also brings purpose, growth, and healing for caregivers themselves. “I used to be a Sunday school teacher, and my husband was a pastor. When he passed away in 2020, I kept myself busy—I did all the waterfalls, the hiking, the kayaking, all the activities. But something was still missing: the kids. After seeing commercials on TV about how desperate the area was for foster parents, I thought, ‘Well, maybe I should look into this and see if they will take an old, widowed lady like me.’” –VictoriaIf you have ever wondered whether it is too late to foster, this story proves the opposite: it is never too late to make a difference. What you will learn in this episode: How one widow found new purpose by becoming a foster parent The transition from respite care to full-time fostering Practical ways to build trust and maintain healthy routines The role foster parents play in reunification and supporting families Why flexibility and genuine care are essential in fostering Encouragement for anyone considering fostering later in life Timestamps:  00:00 – Introduction and purpose of the podcast  00:27 – Entering foster care after loss  01:34 – Motivations and first fears  02:52 – From respite to full-time fostering  03:48 – Building trust with children  04:52 – Creative strategies for connection  06:29 – Becoming “Foster Granny” and lasting bonds  07:12 – Shared parenting and supporting birth families  10:28 – Fulfillment and life lessons  12:56 – Family traditions and favorite fostering moments  13:59 – Encouragement for fostering teens  16:05 – Challenges, self-esteem and school support  18:28 – Role of social workers and daily routines  20:58 – Structure, meals and meeting children’s needs  23:18 – Advice for prospective foster parents  25:27 – Encouraging new experiences  27:19 – Persevering through challenges  28:56 – Respite vs. full-time fostering  29:58 – Family reactions and dualized parenting  43:21 – Preparing kids for transitions  47:45 – Modeling play and relationships  49:29 – Personal growth and children’s resilience  50:49 – Final encouragement  51:39 – Closing and how to get involved  Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc  

Shannon Enoch, Executive Director of Programs at the Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, introduces In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, a new podcast from the Children’s Home Society of North Carolina. Aimed at current and prospective foster parents, as well as anyone curious about foster care, the show features candid conversations with foster families across North Carolina. Shannon outlines the podcast’s focus on real stories about foster care, reunification, adoption, sibling placements, and caring for teens, with the goal of supporting, encouraging, and inspiring listeners to better understand foster care.  “We believe when families share their truth, others feel seen, encouraged, and inspired to step forward too.” —Shannon Enoch Episode details:Target audience: individuals interested in or involved with foster care Purpose of the podcast: to provide an insider's perspective on foster care Sharing raw and honest conversations with real families Emphasis on supporting foster families through shared experiences Importance of authentic storytelling in fostering understanding Encouragement for potential foster parents to learn more about foster care  Highlighting the emotional and practical challenges faced by foster families Aiming to inspire and motivate listeners to make a difference in foster care  Episode Resources:For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc