Irkutsk Ice Truckers Podcast

UPDATED: After releasing details on this movie this morning, people wanted to see the trailer, as did we, so with the help of some IIT intelligence agents, we found, or well, with some additional help, err, well, … here it is.Director Christopher McQuarrie is set to introduce yet another film, a ninth installment, in the Mission Impossible franchise later this year, but with a twist, as the protagonist, Agent Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) of the Impossible Missions Force, will become the villain.Titled Mission Impossible: Pachamama, the film will, according to its officially published storyline, feature a spy and action movie plot, but rather than the usual Tom Cruise doing incredible stunts storyline, Ethan Hunt will be transformed in some way into a demonic South American cult statue on display in the Vatican, while special agents Alexander Tschuggell and Fr. David Nix will have to deploy to stop the now villainous Hunt from corrupting the entire Church and casting its demonic spells on to all the inhabitants of Rome.Even with a different format, it has everything audiences love in a Mission Impossible movie, from spy moments with Dr. Taylor Marshall playing himself as the heist’s mastermind, action sequences like car chases through Rome with Fr. Nix and Tschuggell riding motorcycles across the rooftops of the Vatican, an attempt to extricate the Pachamama by U.S. special forces parachuting from low-earth-orbit, a romantic side plot with Alexander Tschuggell meeting his future wife at a Vespers officiated by Archbishop Schneider, and even some sort of side plot involving blocks of ice at Castel Gandolfo.Though Ethan Hunt is fictional, McQuarrie and Paramount Pictures insist that the film is based “loosely” on real 2019 era events, but that exaggeration and creative license are still rather minimal. “The real-life Pachamama heist was epic, and we can’t wait to take you along backstage on the incredible, nearly impossible mission that Tschugguel and friends carried out,” McQuarrie commented. “Will Nix and Tschugguel be able to rescue and convert Ethan Hunt? How will Luce show up? Was he always the Pachamama all along, or did he merely attend one too many shamanistic prayer sessions and get possessed by it? You’ve got to watch to find out!”The film drops April 31st, 2026. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit irkutskice.substack.com

Irkutsk Ice Truckers is proud to be the official distributor for a new podcast produced by the Cistercians of the Strictest Observance (Trappist) monks of Our Lady of Bethlehem Abbey in Atqasuk, Alaska.Featuring lively discussions between Abbot Louis, their prior, Brother Athanasius, and featured guests, the podcast, The Sound of Silence, will focus on all aspects of the Cistercian spirituality, the Trappists’ life, what it’s like inside their monastery in upper Alaska above the Arctic Circle, as well as discussion from the Trappist perspective about political and cultural issues in today’s world.It was a hard fight for Irkutsk Ice Truckers to acquire the distribution rights to such a unique and unexpected thing as a Trappist podcast, as Trappists are known for their silence and reclusiveness and don’t usually engage with the outside world. When the news first broke that a few Trappists might be willing to change that, Pelican+ put in a large bid, as did the DailyWire, with our competitor Herod’s Herald also reportedly having tried to acquire the rights to the podcast as well.However, with IIT’s preexisting connections (and infiltration of) various Catholic religious orders, we were able to pull enough strings to get the rights to this exclusive look inside the silence and mystery of the Trappists.The first episode, a meditative and reflective conversation between Abbot Louis, known for being silent and reflective, and Brother Athanasius, similarly renowned, featured a lively yet reflective discussion on what it means to properly reflect on reflecting on the nature of reflective silence. We enjoyed listening to, recording, and editing this incredible conversation by the Trappists, filled with meditative pauses to help listeners meditate on the incredible message the monks are sharing with the world through their new endeavor, and we’re sure you will to. Listen to the first episode now, exclusively on Irkutsk Ice Truckers, and expect new episodes every week.Please note that there are large pauses and large areas of silence in the discussion due to the Trappist vows of silence. Actually, there might not be any words in the whole discussion at all, come to think of it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit irkutskice.substack.com

GIA Publications, maker of the infamous Gather hymnal, excitedly released a hymn today that they are sure will bring them business from Catholic rad-trads, a translation of all-time Marty Haugen favorite “All Are Welcome” into Latin.GIA, a “Catholic Inc” organization that isn’t even Catholic but which has a stranglehold, along with OCP Press, on music in most Catholic parishes, has been worried for a while that its monopoly won’t do itmuch good in the future, given that all of Catholicism’s growth is focused on parishes and communities around the Traditional Latin Mass. GIA publishes little music that works with the TLM, but has been scrambling in their musical laboratories and archeological digs for some time to come up with a solution that will help them retain their dominance in the market for Catholic music.Enter their solution: translating the very best of Novus Ordo hymnography into LATIN and then getting the USCCB to mandate that it be used in TLMs because it’s in LATIN!“We’re sure that they’ll buy it up,” said Arthur McGrath, CEO of GIA Publications. “Surely those TLM people only go there for the Latin, so we can obviously take over the market for their music by giving them the New Pentecost bangers of community, fraternity, liberty, equality, and socialism that will replace their rugged individualism of traditionalism with the warmth of collectivism and modernism. And, of course, if they refuse to buy it, we’ll just make it mandatory that they buy it. Easy money right there, which is exactly why I’m CEO of the biggest corporation in Catholic Inc.”Several months ago GIA archeologists found an ancient, mysterious circular disk (an ancient Roman record recording!) which proved that Marty Haugen’s “Gather Us In” was actually “Congrega Nos”, an early 3rd century composition by St. Hippolytus but they’ve since been hard at work translating other songs into Latin, in order to have a complete TLM-oriented hymnal ready in the coming year for bishops to mandate to be used at all TLMs.Marty Haugen’s “All Are Welcome” is the first one they’ve finished translating into it’s Latin version, “Omnes Grati”, but they’re also hard at work on “Fac Differntiam” (Go Make A Difference), “Dominus Saltationis” (Lord of the Dance) and others, “sure to warm,” McGrath says, “even the hardest of trad hearts and get them ready to join in the continued glories of Vatican II.”“Vatican II did everything right. It just hasn’t been implemented fully yet. We need more guitar Masses, more music like this, and, obviously, more bubbles, banners, and balloons (and clowns),” commented Cardinal Arnold Robelche of the Vatican dicastery for the liturgy. “This great new endeavor by GIA Publications will help ensure that the Spirit of Vatican II has a chance to reach even the most hardcore of traditionalists.”LyricsHere is the full text of the Latin version of “All Are Welcome”, or “Omnes Grati”:Frabricemus domum amoriEt omnes habitantoLocus sanctis relātū discendī cordiumFabricatus sperum et somniumSaxum fidei crypta gratiaeAmor Christi finite partesOmnes grati, omnes gratiOmnes grati, in hoc locoFrabricemus domum prophetisEt verbis verissimisLiberi audent quarereRegnum somnire rursusHic crux stababit cognitorEt symbolum gratiaeHic ut unum procreamus fidemOmnes grati, omnes gratiOmnes grati, in hoc locoFabricemus domum amoriAqua vino frumentoConvivium in terra sanctaEt paci et justitiaeHic amor Dei per JesumMonstratur in tempore Dum cena Christi liberat nosOmnes grati, omnes gratiOmnes grati, in hoc locoFabricemus domum extendoManus post ligneum saxisSanare, servare, docereEt vivere VerbumHic exsul et alienus Monstrant imaginem DeiDesinemus timori et periculoOmnes grati, omnes grati Omnes grati, in hoc locoFabricemus domum nominatibusCantici auditi suntAmati docti postulatiqueSicut verba intra VerbumFacti lacrimis risisqueOrationes et cantici Praedicat pavimento ad tectumOmnes grati, omnes grati (omnes grati)Omnes grati, in hoc locoOmnes grati, omnes grati (omnes grati)Omnes grati, in hoc locoPLEASE PARDON THE BAD LATIN GRAMMAR. It’s hard to make Latin’s greater number of syllables fit metrically into the same recording.Here’s Haugen’s original if you haven’t yet avoided experiencing the cringe in English:And if you want to hear solely me singing (as I didn’t get my singing fully aligned with the music track, here’s me singing “Omnes Grati” below without accompaniment:See our translation of “Gather Us In” into “Congrega Nos” here:Which song should we (err, I mean, GIA Publications) translate next? Let us know below! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit irkutskice.substack.com

The DiscoveryHistorians and archeologists focused on the early Church have made a shocking discovery, announced today. Deep in the catacombs of Rome, an ancient, mysterious circular disk was discovered that turned out to be—get this!—an ancient Roman record recording of a Church song that all of us thought was composed recently after Vatican II by “Marty Haugen.”It turns out, the historian (and IIT correspondent AND former or maybe current FBI agent) Andrew Parker tells us, who just so happens to be employed by Catholic Inc., GIA Publications, and OCP Press, that the song “Gather Us In” actually was an early 3rd century composition by St. Hippolytus and isn’t a cringe leftover from the revolutionary 70s but is actually highly traditional.Entitled “Congrega Nos” in its original Latin, IIT managed to obtain an exclusive computer-repaired version of the ancient Roman record of the song in its original Latin, which appears to conveniently confirm every Vatican II era belief about “resourcement” and how the early Church celebrated the liturgy.“Vatican II did everything right. It just hasn’t been implemented fully yet. We need more guitar Masses, more music like this, and, obviously, more bubbles, banners, and balloons (and clowns),” commented Cardinal Arnold Robelche of the Vatican dicastery for the liturgy. “This discovery proves that everything we, with help from our friends at GIA publications, have been trying to do to the liturgy for 60 years just needs to be tried even harder.”Apparently, if the apparent baby voice of the singer on the track is any hint, they had babies as cantors back in the 3rd century Church, which is making many people on the cutting edge of synodality propose that maybe we need to introduce that into the modern liturgy.ControversyTraditionalists are questioning the authenticity of the recording, including questioning the idea that ancient Rome had record players, but Fr. Martin James S.J. told IIT that “those backward trads just aren’t living in the spirit. If we look hard enough, we’ll find that the early Church sang all the great hymns from ‘All Are Welcome’ to even the Dan Schutte ‘Gloria.’”Cardinal Tagle, for one, can’t wait to add the new song to his repertoire, and further boost his credentials as a trad-icon:The USCCB is already planning to mandate that the Latin version of the song be sung at every Mass (including every Latin Mass under their jurisdiction) this coming Sunday.Thanks for reading Irkutsk Ice Truckers! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.“See, I love tradition,” said Bishop Melvin of Charlotte, NC. “Trads should love me.”LyricsHere is our transcription of the song “Congrega Nos”, which it appears merely to have been rediscovered and translated by Marty Haugen in the 1970s.Lumen profluit Hic in hoc loco, Nunc tenebrae evanescereIn hac cella timores nostrasDuctum hic tibi in luce dieCongrega nos, illi perditiCongrega nos, caeci illiAdvoca nos nunc, exsurgemusExcitemus in illo sonoSumus iuvenes, mysteriaSumus veti, desideratiCantati sumus per saeculaVocati lumen populisCongrega nos, dives et superbi —Congrega nos, elati et fortesDa nos cor illa humilis estDa nos virtutem intrare cantemHic accipemus vinum aquamqueHic accipemus panem novam…Hic vocabis filii et filiaeVoca nos saltem esse ad terramPermitta nos bibere vinumPermitta nos edere panem tuiNutri nos bene et doce nosUt faciamus vitas sanctasNon in tenebrosis basiumNon in caelo longinquē adestSed hic in hoc lumen profluitNunc regnum est, nunc dies est illaCongrega nos, et tene aeternumCongrega nos, et faci tui Congrega nos, omnia unaIgnis amoris in caro ossaqueIgnis amoris in caro ossaquePLEASE PARDON THE BAD LATIN GRAMMAR. It’s hard to make Latin’s greater number of syllables fit metrically into the same recording.AND SOMEHOW WE MADE THE THEOLOGY EVEN WORSE!Here’s Haugen’s original if you haven’t yet avoided experiencing the cringe in English:And if you want another (non-baby) voice recording of the track, here’s an alternative version with the original (my) voice:Which song should we translate (err, try to discover) next? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit irkutskice.substack.com

James R. Green covers for me tonight with the top IIT News story of the week (and month), the leaked list of demands made by the SSPX to the Vatican as part of their ongoing negotiation process. We covered it here in written form, but James, filling in for me, gives his thoughts on the provocative list in video form here. Or here’s the Rumble link if you prefer that.The written version:Find more SSPX coverage here.For serious thoughts on the Society, Vatican II, and a lot more, I’ve laid out my basic narrative here with a lot more to come on my parallel site over the coming months and years: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit irkutskice.substack.com

Censored:Listen now | Lex Fridman interviews a very special and unique guest This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit irkutskice.substack.com

SATIRE: The video does not show Tagle appearing in American Idol, only him singing a “modified” version of “Imagine” in front of some other large audience while he is not dressed as a cardinal, bishop, or priest. We have concerns about Tagle, and hope the Church picks someone else, but I hope you don’t find this video parody too disrespectful, only informative and funny.Cardinal Luis Tagle, the Archbishop of Manila and widely suspected to be a papabile, or likely candidate to be elected Pope, has come under fire lately for his appearance on American Idol where he shocked audiences with his rendition of John Lennon’s “Imagine” that has Catholic sites like Life Site News attempting to warn the faithful about his habits and attitudes.While many people are focusing, rightfully, on the seeming cringiness of the video, it;s only one of many videos of what was apparently large-scale and successful singing and dancing career by the Cardinal Archbishop of Manila in the Philippines, as this unpublished video that IIT managed to acquire from the sedevacantist Dimond brothers of Most Holy Family Monastery demonstrates.We disagree, of course, with the permanent sedevacantism of the Dimond brothers, even though we admit a temporary sedevacantism right now, but the warning video provided by them is relevant to the thoughts, concerns, and fears of the faithful right now.Irkutsk Ice Truckers does not officially endorse candidates for the Papacy, although Everett Polinski has sponsored this article with an endorsement of Cardinal Robert Sarah, whom we all hope and pray will be the choice of the Cardinal fathers at the coming conclave.Cardinal Tagle has denied reports that he’s been trying to “audition” for the papacy by his life of singing and dancing appearances, and only went on “American Idol” because he “wanted to be charitable.”The Dimond brothers are at last report, only bothered by Cardinal Tagle because they wish they had as many chances to appear and sing in front of crowds as he did.We have attempted to find videos of Cardinal Tagle not singing or dancing exuberantly, but failed to do so at press time. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit irkutskice.substack.com

“Another guest post this week: I hope you enjoy it! Queue up the conspiracies that I got lost in the mountains again.” — Everett PolinskiNote: I am misspelling things here on purpose here for a reason.This is an audio/video version of this article about the sedevacantists at -Vat-ican-Cath0lic.-com and their list of questions you need to ask a priest before attending a Mass. Well actually, since the Russian KGB agents who fund our operation didn't pay this week, the video doesn’t actually have a video of them talking, only Mlchael’s voice and their faces. By the way, why is there no picture of Mlchael less than 25 years old anyway?But enjoy it anyway, and pray for the conversion of the D1mond's and their followers whom I've tried mostly unsuccessfully, to debateLegal Notice:This IS A PARODY. Brother Michae1 did not say these words as they are arranged here, but only in other orders in his videos.Show audio taken from various videos on vaticancatholic.com by Brother Peter D1mond and Brother Michael D1mond (assuming he is still at the monastery) compiled together with advanced supercomputer processing from the bot farms that IIT uses on loan from the Russian government.Our bot farms are more powerful than the D¹mond’s bot farms by the way…Unless otherwise specified, the articles and files on this website are written by Bro. Michael D1mond and Bro. Peter D1mond. They are the intellectual product of Bro. Michael D1mond, Bro. Peter D1mond or both. They belong to MostHoly Fami1y Monastery. We grant permission for them to be copied and spread, but the website vaticancatho11c.com and name of author must be given. All rights reserved.To join the Catholic Church that they attack and are not a part of, just find a Catholic Church.Refutation of the D1mond brothers and their “monastery”:Thanks to Deuterocomical over on YouTube for all the help in responding to these groups and for making hilarious videos that inspired me to try this.He has been banned from visiting their “monastery” due to this video exposing the flaws in one of the D1mond’s many hundreds of hours of content.See Deuterocomical and Christian Wagner’s (of Scholastic Answers) new video responding to the Diamonds recent video claiming that they personally (or maybe Trump and Elon? It’s a little unclear) are the two witnesses in the book of Revelation here:I was proud to help them a little with their research, especially the theory that something has happened to Michael D¹mond.Seriously, why are there no pictures less than twenty-five old of Michael?Where is Michael?More seriously, just pray for them. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit irkutskice.substack.com

We’ve suddenly found ourselves at 100 Substack subscribers and thousands of monthly readers, so it’s finally time to introduce and explain ourselves.What is Irkutsk Ice Truckers, and who is Everett Polinski?In this conversation, James Green and Everett Polinski tell the backstory of Irkutsk Ice Truckers, how it started, what it is, what it has become today, and where we might be going in the future.Timestamps:0:00 Introduction1:11 The fake email sent from my account5:15 Prank them back10:00 Using the website now that I had it13:53 Creating the backstory for Everett16:26 WCCLEpedia the WCC Encyclopedia21:37 Pulling back and stopping the first time23:36 Coming back, the first time24:35 Stopping again26:09 The latest comeback28:20 IIT today30:45 Religious vocation and the future32:09 Serious articles at GrainOfWheat.Substack.com33:20 Closing thoughtsListen to the audio above (or download) or watch the video version here: Thanks for reading Irkutsk Ice Truckers! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Irkutsk Ice Truckers is your trusted Catholic "news" source on all Church, political, and other affairs of note. WARNING: This website may contain fake news and is produced in a facility that also processes deceptive titles, imaginary quotes, and imaginary people.Visit irkutskice.substack.com for all of our satire articles and to sign up to receive them in your inbox.Interested in serious thoughts and articles? Check out Grain of Wheat for thoughts on mimesis, theology, and politics at grainofwheat.substack.comI also just published an “About Us” for Grain of Wheat. Check out that article here: Find us on X at x.com/jamesgreenWY for James and x.com/EverettPolinski for Everett Polinski.P.S. Here are some of our best-ever satire pieces to check out if you’re new to IIT: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit irkutskice.substack.com

The US Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) just released an emergency hymn to be sung at all Novus Ordo Masses this weekend. Composed by Marty Haugen and based on an old hymn from the labor movement a century ago “Which Side Are You On”, the hymn, according to USCCB spokesman Bishop Sam Brown, “reminds us all of the fact that we need to resist the Department of Government Efficiency with all our karma, body, and soul.”“Obviously, the administration is fascist and anti-synodal. Obviously, they’re all hateful bigots. And most importantly, D.O.G.E., Trump, Musk, and Vance are hurting our USCCB funding and our critical progressive advocacy work. We at the USCCB feel threatened by the new administration as it hurts our critical work trafficking transexual migrants across borders, so we’re releasing Marty’s great hymn today and asking every parish and faith community to sing it tomorrow.”“Don’t worry if it sounds rushed or bad, it’s all we could come up with before our USAID funding dried up,” Brown added. “We would’ve added a bridge and a better refrain but we could only afford to pay Marty Haugen $100,000 and couldn’t splurge on Michael Jonas or David Haas. Maybe. once we’ve finally beaten Trump, we’ll be able to go back to full hymns like you’re used to, but for now this is what we came up with.”“Sing it tomorrow or you ain’t synodal!”In other news, according to Bishop Sam Brown, they have come up with a solution to fighting Trump’s tariffs on the Novus Ordo and related imports of theological liberalism into the United States:Never fear my sisters,China has reportedly offered to mass produce Novus Ordo missals and smuggle their individual pages into Mexico where the cartels will fire the pieces over the border with trebuchets and the USCCB will harness the transformative power of local transgender youth within each parish to reassemble these much-needed essential goods.The USCCB will pay for this difficult process by selling, you're reading this right, indulgences against crimes against synodality. It worked before. What could go wrong?I am with you in synodality forever and ever that will be in perfect inclusive exclusivity, unburdened by what has been, Amen.Bishop Sam BrownDirector of the USCCBBishop of the Diocese of Virginia BeachThis is a parody, obviously.Video from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85s7jE4sKiw&t=3sSound from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM9G5x32s64 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit irkutskice.substack.com

QuoteShow audio taken from various videos on vaticancatholic.com by Brother Peter Dimond and Brother Michael Dimond, but primarily this one below.I actually really liked this video (50% of it at least) and thought, wow, Brother Peter and Brother Michael are so based. Wow again!Unless otherwise specified, the articles and files on this website are written by Bro. Michael Dimond and Bro. Peter Dimond. They are the intellectual product of Bro. Michael Dimond, Bro. Peter Dimond or both. They belong to Most Holy Family Monastery. We grant permission for them to be copied and spread, but the website vaticancatholic.com and name of author must be given. All rights reserved.For more on learning sedevacantism and the beliefs of Brother Michael and Brother Peter whereby they believe that they and only they (and maybe maybe some people in Wisconsin) are Catholic visit vaticancatholic.com.You can also find their (or I guess our) guide to interrogating a priest who’s Mass you wish to attend here: To join the Catholic Church that they attack and are not a part of, just find a Catholic Church.Thanks to Deutercomical for all the help in responding to these groups and for making hilarious videos that inspired me to try this. End of Quote This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit irkutskice.substack.com

Hello, this is Brother Michael Dimond from vaticancatholic.com. Did you know that we had a Eucharistic Miracle at our Monastery? Check out that video on our website at vaticancatholic.com.In these times of great apostasy, it is difficult to find a valid Mass celebrated by a non-heretical priest. Dangerous things like “NFP”, “Divine Mercy”, and “baptism of desire” along with many other heresies are preached at even the most seemingly traditional Catholic churches. That’s why on our website we tell everyone in the U.S., that since we are unaware of any safe Masses to attend that you must stay home and pray the Rosary instead.We also hope that you do as we say because our Monastery is in need of more support so that we can pay off the loans we took out to run our Russian bot farms. Paying for the heated floor in our basketball court is also pretty expensive too, so we hope you become a true Dimondite believer and agree with everything we say. But, ok, back to the topic of the “Mass”…Thanks for reading Irkutsk Ice Truckers! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.If you are willing, after receiving extensive spiritual direction through our hotline at 1-800-275-1126, you still wish to attend a Mass that you think is safe, we have prepared a set of questions that you may ask the so-called “priest” in order to determine whether it is safe to attend and receive Holy Communion.Make sure to ensure any priest whose Mass you plan on attending, receiving communion at, and/or receiving any other sacraments from has answered all these questions properly. To be safe, make sure you also have them take a lie-detector test while they talk to you. You also should threaten them to make sure there is no chance of them changing their opinion on any of these questions during Mass. This is important. If the priest lies to you or changes his mind after answering these questions, you have committed a mortal sin by attending his Mass or receiving sacraments from him as they are invalid. These questions will take about 30-45 minutes to complete, depending on the priest.We actually recommend you stay at home instead and pray 15 decades of the Rosary followed by donating to us and watching our videos. But if you think you must go to Mass, here’s the question checklist to ask:* Were you ordained in the traditional rite of ordination, or was it the post-Vatican II rite?* Correct Answer: "I was ordained in the traditional rite of ordination which is the rite used from 33 AD to until the Council of Nicea. I believe that all rites used after the Council of Nicea are illegitimate."* Do you accept Francis (or the current Pope) as the legitimate Pope, or do you hold a sedevacantist view?* Correct Answer: "I hold a sedevacantist view; I do not recognize Francis as the legitimate Pope but instead believe that the Dimond brothers, being the only non-heretics in the world are the only “acting” Popes. Francis, as proven by the Dimond brothers, is a manifest heretic and is in fact not even a priest, let alone a bishop, as he was not validly ordained."* Do you believe in the possibility of salvation for non-Catholics through 'baptism of desire' or 'invincible ignorance'?* Correct Answer: "No, I do not believe in salvation through 'baptism of desire' or 'invincible ignorance'; I believe salvation is only through the Catholic Church, and only through the Dimondites and their critical messages available on VaticanCatholic.com."* Is it your belief that all who die outside the Catholic Church, without exception, go to Hell?* Correct Answer: "Yes, I believe all who die outside the Catholic Church, without exception, go to Hell. The Salvation dogma is absolute, and I believe that cases like St. Dismas, the Holy Innocents, and St . Emerentiana that seem to disprove this and baptism of desire actually demonstrate that angels at the moment of their death came and baptized them with water. I reject “R.I” however, as he, while claiming this position, does not submit to the authority of the Dimond brothers in all things."* Do you celebrate the Tridentine Latin Mass or an Eastern Rite Liturgy, or do you celebrate the Novus Ordo Mass? Do you eliminate the “una cum”?* Correct Answer: "I celebrate the Tridentine Latin Mass and do not recognize “Francis” by means of the “una cum” " or "I celebrate an Eastern Rite Liturgy that has not been modernized and do not recognize Francis within the liturgy. I am, however, trying to learn how to celebrate earlier rites of the Church and only practice the Tridentine rite, for now, because the Dimond brothers, for now, say it is an acceptable rite of their church."* Do you consider sedevacantists or those who reject 'baptism of desire' to be heretics or in mortal sin?* Correct Answer: "No, I do not consider them heretics or in mortal sin for those beliefs as long as they are in full agreement with the positions held by the Dimond brothers."* Would you impose your views on salvation or the legitimacy of the current Pope on the congregation during Mass or in any other context?* Correct Answer: "Of course, I will ensure that everyone follows the beliefs of the Dimond brothers in all things, and this means that I will only use the writings available on VaticanCatholic.com in my homilies."* Are you financially supported by or do you support groups that hold positions contrary to traditional Catholic teachings?* Correct Answer: "No, I am not supported by nor do I support such groups. I encourage everyone to support the only group that is not contrary to the traditional Catholic teachings held by the Dimond brothers, Most Holy Family Monastery run by the Dimond brothers."* Do you practice or endorse ecumenism with non-Catholic religions in a way that suggests they do not need conversion to Catholicism?* Correct Answer: "No, I believe non-Catholics need conversion to the Catholic Faith for salvation. This includes all “Catholics” who do not listen to the Dimond brothers in all things and financially support them with their whole livelihoods."* If you are an Eastern Rite priest, has your liturgy been revised or modernized in line with Vatican II reforms?* Correct Answer: "No, my liturgy has not been revised or modernized in line with Vatican II reforms. It remains exactly the way that it was practiced before the Council of Nicea ruined everything, and therefore partakes of no whiff of “reform” by any council unless and except such reforms are preferred by the Dimond brothers."This guide is also available in printed card form, alike one of those tracts put out by Protestant heretics. To order a stack of 100 to hand out to your friends, please visit vaticancatholic.com.Oh, and please don’t call us Donatists. We’re not.DO NOT USE THIS GUIDE! THIS IS A JOKE TO ILLUSTRATE THE SAD, PARANOID AND SCHISMATIC SEDEVACANTIST OPINIONS OF VATICANCATHOLIC.COM AND MOST HOLY FAMILY MONASTERYThe point is that the Dimond brothers who run “Most Holy Family Monastery” are, in effect telling everyone not to go to Mass. I’ve been arguing with their followers on several forums, but here’s what their own website says:The best refutation I have found so far is here: But the best quick refutation is simply to think about what follows from the idea that the Dimond’s view, that everyone but them is a false, counterfeit fake Catholic Church, is true. If the Dimonds are right, and every pope from John XXIII has been an anti-pope, then there is no reason not to question the legitimacy of every pope before him as well, and seeming breaks in the principle of absolute papal infallibility, the point they use to claim that the last six popes have been false, can be used to question every other Pope. If that is true, then papal infallibility is meaningless, as there’s no way to be certain about papal authority due to there being no ability to know who the Pope is, and thus the Papacy is meaningless. I will write more on this in a serious article sometime soon, but for now just ask yourself: is this the Church?:Thanks for reading Irkutsk Ice Truckers! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit irkutskice.substack.com