Life by Design

Before pausing the podcast to focus on new projects, I share a raw moment of being fear-triggered in a conversation with my husband—and the urge to be right at all costs. This episode explores how fear shows up in everyday interactions, and the power of observing ourselves even while we’re in it. When we choose love over fear, we open the door to deeper connection, understanding, and growth.

In this episode, I share a recent experience that helped me understand the concept of shadow figures—how we often see others through the lens of our past fears rather than who they truly are. I reflect on how misinterpretations and projections can shape our reactions and interactions, especially when fear is involved. Tune in to learn how to respond with compassion, clarity, and conscious choice instead of falling into the trap of correction or defence.

In this episode, I reflect on seven powerful realisations that came forth from a decision to complete a relationship, including the importance of clarity, consistency, and honest self-inquiry. I share why your true priorities are shown through action, not intention, and how pursuing one aligned dream with focus creates meaningful momentum. Most importantly, I talk about why letting go—when something no longer serves your bigger vision—is not failure, but growth.

We often believe the “right” decision will feel perfect — like clarity, calm, and instant confidence. But the truth is, a decision becomes right because you decide to make it right by backing it with your actions, beliefs, and focus. Trust the decision you made with the information you had then, and stay open to pivot if life shows you something new.

What if the tug-of-war in your mind isn’t confusion—but a deeper conversation between two parts of you? In this episode, we explore the contrast between Spirit and Ego, the Voice of Love and the Voice of Fear. Through a powerful metaphor and real-life reflections, I’ll walk you through how these voices shape your choices, relationships, and sense of purpose. You'll learn how to recognise the Ego’s sneaky "I'll be happy when..." patterns, and start aligning with Spirit's truth—freedom, expansion, and joy.Plus: A daily practice to help you shift your focus and live more from love.

Feeling unmotivated? This episode is your gentle nudge back to yourself. We’ll explore what to do when you don’t feel like doing anything—offering compassion, perspective, and small steps that still move you forward.

In this episode, we unpack the myth of "arrival"—that idea that one day you’ll finally have it all figured out. Instead, we explore how life is really a never-ending journey of learning, growing, and evolving. Tune in to shift your perspective and embrace the magic of expansion, not perfection.

Harmony, disharmony, repair—these are the natural phases every relationship moves through. In this episode, we explore how to navigate disharmony with awareness, turning challenges into opportunities for deeper connection. Tune in to learn practical tools for repair and creating intimacy that lasts.

Joy is not found in reaching a final destination but in the journey itself, cultivated through presence, appreciation, and intentional thought patterns. By shifting focus from what is lacking to what is already good, we can train our minds to find joy in everyday moments and experiences, rather than attaching happiness to future achievements. True fulfilment comes from recognising that our thoughts shape our emotions, and by consciously choosing empowering perspectives, we can create lasting happiness in the now.

Life moves in cycles, just like the seasons—spring is for planting seeds of change, summer is for nurturing and protecting growth, autumn is for harvesting the rewards, and winter is for resilience and preparation. Each season brings its own lessons, challenges, and opportunities, shaping us into stronger, more adaptable individuals. By embracing the natural rhythm of change, we can learn to work with life’s seasons instead of resisting them, creating a more fulfilling and sustainable path forward.

Growth motivation comes from a place of abundance, where you appreciate what you have while striving for more, whereas deficiency motivation stems from scarcity, focusing on what’s lacking and needing to be fixed. The key to sustainable change is shifting from deficiency to growth motivation—recognising that nothing is broken but rather evolving, and focusing on expansion rather than correction. By embracing where you are now and seeing every challenge as an opportunity for growth, you create a mindset that fuels fulfilment, self-trust, and lasting transformation.

We explore the two fundamental fears that drive our insecurities: the fear of not being enough and the fear of missing out. The fear of not being enough manifests as people-pleasing, perfectionism, and seeking external validation, but true self-worth is constant and independent of external achievements. Through personal experiences and mindset shifts, I explain how recognising our worth and aligning with our values can help us overcome these fears and cultivate self-acceptance.

At its core, every problem we face stems from a disconnection from love, leading us to operate from a place of fear—closed, rigid, and opposing. The solution is always the same: reconnecting to love, an energy that is open, kind, and solution-oriented, allowing us to see situations with compassion and clarity. By recognising when we are unplugged and taking responsibility to shift back, we can transform our relationships, mindset, and overall life experience.

Want a thriving relationship? In this episode, I share five winning strategies: shifting complaints to requests, speaking with love and skill, responding generously, empowering each other, and cherishing your partner. These simple yet powerful shifts create intimacy, safety, and support—because when we feel appreciated, we naturally show up with more love.

Five losing strategies in a relationship often stem from our Ego mind reacting to perceived threats, leading to harmful behaviours like needing to be right, controlling our partner, unbridled self-expression, retaliation, and withdrawal. Recognising these patterns helps us pause, reflect, and shift from fear-based reactions to love-based responses. Next week, I'll share five winning strategies to foster healthier, more connected relationships.

Healthy boundaries are essential for managing relationships, emotions, and how we show up in the world.  They help us act as gatekeepers—deciding what we let in, how we interpret experiences, and how we respond to situations with love rather than fear.  When we set intentional boundaries, we protect our time, energy, and relationships while maintaining control over our emotional well-being.

In this episode, we dive into what it means to live a buffer-free life and how removing external distractions like alcohol, food, or shopping can lead to true, long-term well-being. I share my personal journey of cutting out buffers, including alcohol, sugar, and caffeine, and how it intensified my emotional experience, forcing me to face both the good and the uncomfortable emotions head-on. Tune in to learn how embracing discomfort, instead of numbing it, can create deeper self-awareness and lasting transformation.

In this episode, I’ll take you on a journey into the world of silence retreats—a unique and transformative experience of meditation and mindfulness. Imagine this: from 6 AM to 9 PM, every moment is dedicated to presence. Whether sitting, lying down, standing, walking, or even eating, every action becomes a practice in being fully present.   The challenge of distinguishing between your thoughts about what’s happening and what’s actually happening—an eye-opening skill that deepens self-awareness. You'll hear personal reflections on the experience of having a few days of not speaking, and how stepping away from the noise of daily life can lead to profound clarity and calm.   Tune in to get an inside look at what it's really like to immerse yourself in this mindful stillness—and maybe even feel inspired to try it yourself.

The juice cleanse taught me the value of embracing discomfort, whether through hunger or the urge for instant gratification, and the clarity that comes from simply sitting with these feelings instead of acting on them. I learned to slow down and truly experience my meals, recognising how often I overeat or turn to food out of boredom rather than hunger. The journey strengthened my self-discipline and self-trust, proving that I can commit fully to my goals even when faced with challenges.

In this episode, I introduce the Feedback Wheel, a powerful tool from Terrance Real’s book Us.  It’s a structured four-step method for providing feedback in relationships, focused on fostering understanding and mutual growth rather than blame or criticism.  By grounding yourself in love and using the Feedback Wheel, you can transform complaints into actionable requests, strengthening your connection with your partner and prioritising the relationship's health. 

This episode explores the concept of moving from "Ego" (self-focused, short-term thinking) to "Eco" (relationship-focused, long-term thinking), inspired by Terry Real’s book US.  In romantic relationships, adopting an "Eco" mindset means prioritising mutual satisfaction and the health of the relationship rather than individual wins, fostering win-win-win dynamics.  The same approach applies to the relationship with self, by aligning actions with long-term goals and values instead of reaching for instant gratification, creating a foundation for lasting growth and fulfilment.

A 3-year plan allows your mind to think bigger and relax into achieving goals over an extended timeline, avoiding the pressure of short-term deadlines.  By breaking goals into actionable steps and fueling them with intentional emotions and thoughts, you can create a roadmap for progress while staying motivated.  Regularly revisiting and treating your goals as projects ensures steady progress, builds confidence, and keeps your plans adaptable to your evolving circumstances.

In this episode, I reflect on 2024, exploring achievements, lessons, and challenges while sharing the importance of intentional reflection at the year’s end.  Through exercises like a thought download, we uncover insights on personal growth, gratitude for meaningful relationships, and navigating discomfort in new experiences.  As we prepare for 2025, I invite you to consider what you’ve learned, what you want to leave behind, and what to carry forward, emphasising the power of reflection in creating a purposeful and fulfilling life.

The power of dropping judgement—especially when it comes to our emotions. Often, it’s not what’s happening but the story we attach to it that fuels our emotional response. By stepping into curiosity instead of labelling things as “good” or “bad,” we can shift our focus, embrace all emotions as guidance and handle life’s challenges with clarity and compassion. Tune in to explore how to tell facts from stories and why this simple shift can transform your emotional well-being.

Join me as I dive into the magical tradition of Rauhnächte, a reflective ritual spanning the twelve nights between Christmas Eve and Epiphany. It's a time to clear out the old, welcome the new and set intentions for the year ahead with powerful practices like letting go, journaling, and dreaming big. Tune in for step-by-step guidance and create space for transformation this holiday season—your 2025 self will thank you!

10 Learnings from 2 years of marriage and 5.5 years together. A strong relationship requires a focus on your own behaviour rather than trying to change your partner, clear communication, and regular moments of fun and connection. Accepting that relationships go through harmony, disharmony, and repair phases helps you grow closer through challenges. Nurture the relationship consistently, celebrate each other's strengths, and intentionally create memories together to keep the connection vibrant and meaningful.

In today's episode, we have the great pleasure to learn from Dr Martin Hartenstein on what it means to be a great leader. With 25 years of experience across banking, insurance, consulting, startups and private equity, Martin brings a deep passion for people, leadership and family. True leadership isn’t just about giving directions—it’s about building trust, supporting your team through challenges and giving them the autonomy to figure out how to reach their goals. Listen actively, offer immediate feedback and remember to praise in public and provide constructive criticism privately. Leadership starts with leading yourself, even if you don’t hold an official title.

Emotions themselves aren’t harmful—it’s how we respond to them that matters. We often try to suppress, react to, or distract ourselves from uncomfortable emotions, but these tactics don’t serve us in the long run. The best way to handle emotions is to allow them, hold space for them without judgement, and understand that emotions are signals about what’s going on inside of us. By acknowledging, describing, and naming our emotions, we can better understand them and choose to respond in ways that align with our growth and well-being.

1. We all have an inner emotional guiding system that helps us navigate life, but we often ignore it, focusing instead on external cues like social norms and success. True happiness comes from aligning your life with your values and expanding beyond what you thought possible, not from material results. 2. Our emotions act as signals, showing us the gap between where we are and our deeper desires. Negative emotions can guide us to shift our focus and take action, while true satisfaction comes from making choices that support long-term growth, even when it's uncomfortable in the short term. 3. By connecting with your future self and tuning into your emotions, you can move in the direction of your dreams and become the person capable of creating lasting happiness. If you're ready to explore this further, schedule a consultation at lifebydesign.ch.

Stop arguing with reality—it’s a waste of time. Instead of resisting what is, accept it, and work with the present moment. When you stop fighting against what has already happened, you gain control over your actions and can focus on creating positive outcomes for the future.

1. Blame is disempowering – Blaming others, yourself, or the past keeps you stuck in negativity, preventing you from taking control and finding solutions. 2. Focus on solutions, not problems – Instead of fixating on what went wrong or who is at fault, shift your attention to what you can do next to move forward. 3. Missed opportunities aren't final – Just like missing a bus or a flight, life offers new chances. It's essential to accept setbacks and look for the next opportunity rather than dwelling on the past.

Here’s a simple practice to break the "compare and despair" cycle and transform comparison into growth: Notice when you're comparing yourself to others and how it makes you feel. Ground yourself by taking a few deep breaths and acknowledge your emotions. Shift your mindset by using others’ experiences as inspiration for your own growth instead of self-criticism. Remember, comparison isn't inherently bad—it's your intention behind it that matters. Choose growth over self-doubt.

In this episode, we explore how to let go of self-judgement, rewrite the inner dialogue and team up with ourselves for a life that reflects our true values.

Recognising where your choices lie so that you can focus on what is within your control—your thoughts and actions, rather than trying to change others or circumstances.  This will allow you to step away from reacting defensively to critical comments and instead using the power of a pause to respond thoughtfully.  By accepting differences in viewpoints and focusing on personal choice, you create a more peaceful, empowered response, leading to stronger connections and more favourable outcomes.

Understanding the three types of businesses—my business, your business, and the Universe's business—helps us focus on what’s within our control. By staying in our own business, we connect more deeply with ourselves, others, and reality, avoiding the frustration and disconnection that comes from trying to control what’s outside our power. The key is to work with reality instead of against it, creating a flow that leads to ease, connection and adaptability in navigating life’s challenges.

Decluttering is about removing excess and keeping only what truly matters, both in physical spaces and in life. Inspired by Marie Kondo's approach, the process involves sorting through items and asking, "Does this spark joy?" to guide decisions on what to keep and let go of. This practice helps clear not just physical clutter but also mental clutter, leading to a lighter, more focused, and joyful life.

Shifting your understanding around what the root cause of your emotional suffering is. How others can't hurt you, only your thoughts and beliefs about their behaviour can.  Our emotions are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves, and by changing those stories, we can change how we feel without needing to control others.  This practice of reframing our thoughts helps us focus on self-awareness and empowerment, realising that the power to shape our emotional world lies within our own minds, not external circumstances.

It's easy to believe that life should be filled with only joyful experiences, but true joy comes from learning how to navigate all aspects of life. I believe that every situation holds a lesson, and it's through these lessons that we find value in every experience.  Join me in my journaling journey that expanded my thinking and truly blew my mind.

In this episode, I share my interpretation of life's purpose through the intention triad—Freedom, Expansion, and Joy.  We continually ask for more and better experiences, which initiates expansion. I believe that the purpose of life is a joyous expansion, which requires us to exercise our freedom to choose.  To live a fulfilling life, we must recognise our power to shape our thoughts, embrace life's contrasts, and focus on moving towards what we truly desire.

Working with reality means accepting both positive and negative emotions instead of trying to escape or fix them quickly. We often feel entitled to constant happiness and fear that accepting negative emotions will make them permanent, but resisting these emotions intensifies them. Embracing emotions as temporary signals fosters personal growth and resourcefulness, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life.

Contrast helps us grow by showing us what we don't want, which clarifies what we do want.  Pain is a natural part of life that fuels expansion, while suffering is self-inflicted and therefore optional.  By focusing on the clarity that comes from painful experiences rather than dwelling on the pain, we can move toward a more empowered and fulfilling life.

We live in the illusion of “I will be happy when…” When I have a better relationship When I have more money When I have more time We merge our live situation with our emotional life which makes us feel at the effect of what’s going on around us. Which makes us try to control the uncontrollable.  When it’s all happening in your head. It’s your thoughts about what’s going on and not what’s actually going on that’s causing your suffering.

When feeling stressed or overwhelmed, it’s often because we're bogged down in uncontrollable details and disconnected from the bigger picture.  Start by grounding yourself in the present moment and reconnecting with your broader goals and motivations, then break down these goals into actionable milestones.  Regularly revisiting your why and mapping out a flexible game plan helps maintain clarity, focus, and a sense of purpose, enabling you to navigate challenges effectively.

Dreams give direction and focus, growing stronger the more you visualise them.  Understanding the reticular activating system (RAS) helps you recognise opportunities that bring you closer to your dreams.  Shift your mindset to focus on future possibilities rather than past limitations, embracing the discomfort and growth that come with pursuing your aspirations.

Evaluation involves making assessments to learn from the past and improve future actions.  By asking three key questions: What's working What's not working What can I do differently you can develop insights to refine your approach and achieve better results.  Focusing on your own contributions and actions allows for personal growth and effective adjustments, leading to continuous improvement and success in various areas of life.

Reflection helps you identify strengths, understand emotions, and make informed decisions, fostering growth and improving problem-solving skills.  It strengthens relationships through better empathy and communication and boosts productivity by prioritising tasks.  Incorporate reflection through journaling, reviews, mindfulness, and feedback to unlock your potential and create a fulfilling life.

Explore the importance of creating a supportive network, emphasising the need for diverse relationships that inspire, challenge and celebrate you.  By actively seeking new connections and nurturing existing ones, you can build a multifaceted support system that adapts to your evolving needs.  This collective approach ensures resilience, inspiration and the capability to achieve your dreams, highlighting that success is a shared journey.

80% of our daily conversations are the ones we have with ourselves. Start to pay attention to how you speak to yourself about what’s going on. What’s the commentary that’s going on in your head?  Is it positive or negative?

Are you connecting failing at something to being a failure? Redefine what failing means so that you can go after your big dreams.

Doing and failing vs failing at doing.  We learn in the arena, from real life experiences. That’s what helps us to get ready.  We can not learn what works in practice by only studying theory. We have to get out in the world and test and try.