Life: The Ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure Game

In this week's show, Cliff and Daphne talk all about what it is like to live and work with a crazy roommate, which is actually the thoughts that arise in our heads. They discuss what happens when we 'get on the wrong train' of thought and how it can lead us away from where we really want to go. They discuss how we can work with thoughts and also, how to stay on the train of our choosing. Additionally, they discuss the many ways that we can live without being identified with our thoughts and live much more of our lives in the seat of awareness, which allows our lives to be full of much less suffering and a lot more joy. If you would like to know more about the work that Daphne does with leaders and supporting them in moving from being burned out to fired up in their work, join her newsletter at www.daphne-scott.com. You can drop her a line at [email protected] too if you're interested in coaching and getting more support in your leadership and life. You can also work with Cliff and get access to his Free The Dream Course for free by emailing him at [email protected]. Drop him a few lines to let him know what you're up to in your work and he will support you to get access to the transformational tools that you need.

In this thought-provoking episode, Cliff and Daphne dive into the often overlooked necessities in life: nature, art, and beauty. Drawing inspiration from a letter Daphne wrote to her nephew, they explore how these three elements have profoundly influenced their lives, even though they are rarely prioritized in our modern, success-driven culture. Key Highlights: -The Letter That Started It All: Daphne shares the story behind a letter she wrote for her nephew’s senior celebration, focusing on nature, art, and philosophy, and how they are essential in life. - The Power of -Nature: Inspired by a Bible verse (Matthew 6:28-33), the hosts reflect on how nature teaches us not to toil unnecessarily and to appreciate beauty in its simplicity. Art and Stendhal Syndrome: Daphne recounts moments of experiencing "Stendhal Syndrome," where exposure to great beauty in art and music led to overwhelming emotional responses. From the Chicago Symphony Orchestra to the rock band Rush, art has left a lasting impact. - Art as a Reflection of Life: Alain de Botton's perspective on art as "propaganda for what really matters" is discussed. Daphne reflects on how art not only brings joy but also teaches us to navigate suffering. - Philosophy's Forgotten Role: The episode also touches on philosophy’s original purpose—how it was once about healing suffering, particularly through the teachings of Epicurus and other ancient schools of thought. Music's Emotional Power: The hosts share a special moment about the emotional depth music can bring, including Daphne’s love for Bach’s *Air on the G String* and its capacity to evoke profound emotions. Notable Quotes: - "Art can show us how to suffer more successfully and be just a bit less alone in the world." - Philosophy: Epicurus believed in 'stable pleasures'—focusing on the quality of enjoyment, not the quantity." With references to Bible passages, classical music, and philosophical wisdom, the episode encourages listeners to appreciate the beauty around them and reflect on how art and philosophy can help us manage life’s challenges. Whether you’re inspired by the natural world or touched by the emotional power of music, this episode invites you to slow down and consider what really matters. Be sure to tune in and discover why appreciating nature, art, and philosophy can make all the difference in how we live our lives. Want more support on your entrepreunerial journey and playing the games of life and work? Reach out to Cliff and Daphne. Join Cliff's podcast with his wife Stephanie at Building A Life and Business Together And for more transformational ideas and writing from Daphne on the living a life and working, join her on Substack at DS Leadership Life on Substack

In this episode, Cliff and Daphne explore the concept of emotional contagion, emphasizing how we can unconsciously adopt the negative views and emotional struggles of those around us. Drawing on the teachings of the Stoic philosopher Epictetus, they discuss the importance of emotional boundaries and how not to sabotage ourselves and also, how to suppor others, by avoiding absorbing the unproductive attitudes of others. This episode provided a deep dive into the intersection of emotional boundaries, ancient philosophy, and practical wisdom on how to remain emotionally balanced while offering support to others. Key Takeaways: Cliff and Daphne explain how emotional contagion happens; highlighting that when we immerse ourselves in the negative narratives of others, we can unintentionally adopt their emotional states, leading to self-sabotage. In a writing from Epictetus, they break down the parts of the writing as it pertains to negative emotions with others and how we actually can be a friend to people by not getting on the negative emotions bus with them. They also discuss the importance of differentiating between the misfortune itself and the response someone chooses to adopt. - Offering Support Without Being Pulled Down:  They emphasized that, while it’s essential to show kindness and offer an empathetic ear to those in distress, it's equally important not to get dragged down by their negativity. The message was clear: offering genuine support means maintaining a healthy detachment and employing true listening and curiosity with others when they are struggling all the while seeing them as fully empowered beings who can solve their own issues.  - The Victim, Villain, and Hero: A central theme of the episode was the ‘drama triangle’ – the roles of victim, villain, and hero. The hosts explained how, when someone presents their troubles, there is a temptation to ‘play the hero’ to ease not only the other person’s discomfort but also our own. They emphasized that jumping into this role often results in perpetuating a disempowering narrative. If you want a good laugh that represents the topic of how we see certain events in life, watch this link: The Shining as a RomCom The conversation then shifted to how we sabotage ourselves by over-identifying with others' struggles, thereby indulging in negative thinking. The hosts pointed out that we can better serve ourselves and others by remaining detached and refraining from indulging in melodramatic reactions. - Empowerment Through Detachment: A key takeaway from the episode was the idea that true kindness lies in believing others are capable of handling their own challenges. By maintaining a sense of detachment and not indulging in negative emotions, we empower others to find their own solutions. -Conclusion:The episode wrapped up with a reminder that emotional boundaries are crucial for both ourselves and those we care about. The hosts encouraged listeners to be mindful of how they engage with the troubles of others and to practice empathy without getting swept up in negativity. If you are a new business owner or a business owner who would like to get even more results, Cliff is available to support you. Email him at [email protected] to get enrolled in his free business course and also to find out about his business mastermind group.  If you've struggled to find direction and keep feeling that you are getting pulled off course, Daphne has also has a great solution for you. You can gain access to her free Values and Purpose course where she walks you through a direct, simple and clear 4 step process to identify your values AND, write your own purpose statement. Email her at [email protected] to get more information and to get enrolled. It is free and yet, absolutely invaluable.           

Episode 31: Choosing Wisdom in Ten Steps  In this insightful episode, Cliff and Daphne delve into the concept of wisdom and how we can consciously choose wiser paths in life. They explore the challenges of making wise decisions, particularly when it feels easier to take the unwise route. With a blend of humor and empathy, the hosts share ten practical steps to cultivate wisdom in our daily lives. Key Topics: 1. Understanding Emotional Inheritance: The first step towards wisdom is recognizing how our past influences our present and future decisions. The hosts discuss the importance of confronting and accepting this "emotional inheritance." 2. Recognizing the Limits of Willpower: Wisdom involves acknowledging that our thoughts and minds are not always reliable. We can't simply will ourselves into wisdom; it requires deeper understanding. 3. Unmasking True Feelings: Often, we hide our true emotions and evade what is really happening within us. Cliff and Daphne talk about the importance of facing these feelings head-on. 4. Interpreting Intentions Accurately:  We often misinterpret others' words and actions, especially when we're tired, thirsty, or hungry. This step is about improving our interpretations to avoid unnecessary conflict. 5. Understanding Thoughts and Feelings: Differentiating between thoughts, feelings, and stories is crucial. The hosts explain how these elements work together to shape our reality. 6. Letting Go of Romantic Ideals:*The episode debunks the unrealistic ideals set by romanticism and encourages listeners to embrace "good enough" rather than striving for unattainable perfection. 7. Connecting Body and Mind: Wisdom is not just a mental process. The state of our body—whether we are well-rested, nourished, and comforted—greatly influences our mind and feelings. 8. Creating Space Before Reacting: This step emphasizes the power of pausing before reacting, allowing us to respond more patiently and wisely. 9. Holding Success and Failure Lightly: Circumstances change, and it's important to hold both victories and failures lightly, applying the same understanding to others. 10. Recognizing Fear's Influence: The final step is understanding that much of our worst behavior, and that of others, is driven by fear. Approaching these situations with calmness can lead to more constructive outcomes. Bonus Step: The Art of Letting Go: Wisdom often requires us to let go of control and expectations repeatedly, a theme that ties together all the steps. You can find out more about Cliff's Mastermind Group for entrepreuners at Next Level Mastermind.  Also, if you want more transformational thoughts and practices about managing our life in the face of work, join Daphne on Substack. Here is one of her most recents posts on overcoming the barriers to saying no.  

  In this episode Cliff and Daphne dive deep into the world of decision-making. They explore the idea that every choice we make—big or small—shapes our lives in significant ways. They challenge the conventional wisdom around decisions, discussing the fears, influences, and the psychology that governs how we make choices. Firstly, they discuss the fear that most people have of making the wrong decision: How the fear of failure and loss of status influences our choices. They discuss the factors that influence and impact the results of our decisions as well, such as:  -The concept of Bounded Rationality: The concept that our decision-making is limited by the information we have, the time constraints we face, and our cognitive limitations. - Cultural and Societal Influences: The role of status and the avoidance of shame in shaping our decisions. - Practical Wisdom: How ancient and modern philosophies can guide us to make better decisions, emphasizing the balance between logic, evidence, and personal values. - Existential Responsibility: The idea that our decisions define who we are and the importance of taking responsibility for our choices. Key Takeaways to assist us in making decisions:  -Understand Your Values:Aligning decisions with personal values and goals is crucial to supporting our learning, our vision for the future and to support a fulfilling life. - Regular Reflection: Reflecting on past decisions helps us understand our true motivations and make better future choices. - Consider Risks and Outcomes: Practical wisdom involves assessing potential risks and preparing for different outcomes. - Embrace Responsibility: Accepting that every decision shapes our essence encourages mindful and deliberate choices. Responsability is simply our ability to respond to change and things that arise in the moment, without blame, judgement and criticsm of ourselves and as importantly, others. Quote of the Episode: “You make your best decision with the information you have available, the time you have available, and by understanding that we are going to have cognitive limits. Therefore, you really can’t ever get it ‘wrong.- Daphne Connect with Us: You can find Cliff at Cliff Ravenscraft. And email him with the subject line 'Values" if you would like the free document he created based on the values exercise he talks about on the show.  You can find Daphne at Daphne Scott and get her book, "Waking Up A Leader: The Five Relationships of Success". You can also subscribe to more of her writing on Substack at https://dsleadershiplife.substack.com/.  Continue to join us each week as we support you to choose your own adventure! 

Ep 28: Choose (It) Yourself: Imagination, Courage, Confidence In this episode of Life: The Ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure Game, Cliff and Daphne dive deep into the concept of choosing oneself. Drawing inspiration from the popular phrase "treat yo’self" from Parks and Recreation, they explore the importance of self-empowerment through three key lenses: Imagination, Courage, and Confidence. Imagination: The first step in creating the life you want is to imagine it. Whether it's public speaking, running a company, or leading a group, it all starts with a vision. Cliff and Daphne stress the importance of creating your own vision, rather than letting others define it for you. Courage: Courage is the dividing line between success and mediocrity. Using the analogy of putting in golf, the hosts emphasize that without the courage to take action, success is impossible. Courage is the fuel that propels your vision into reality. Confidence: Confidence is often misunderstood. Cliff and Daphne debunk the myth that only certain people are "pre-ordained" for success. They argue that a lack of confidence is essentially internalized futility, where people believe they need permission to succeed. Instead, they advocate for self-confidence rooted in the understanding that everyone has the potential to succeed in their vision and dreams. Quote of the Episode: "Don't quit your daydream."-Cliff Closing Thoughts: Cliff and Daphne encourage listeners to take the reins in their lives by imagining their future, summoning the courage to pursue it, and cultivating the confidence to believe in their own potential. Stay connected with us at www.cliffravenscraft.com and at www.daphne-scott.com  Until next time, choosing yo'self! ---

Episode 027: How and Why to Say No Welcome back to Life: The Ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure Game, where your hosts, Cliff Ravenscraft and Daphne Scott, guide you through the ever-changing landscape of life, one adventure at a time. As we kick off Season 2, we're diving into a topic that resonates deeply with everyone: learning to say "no." In this episode, we explore the power of saying "no" and why mastering this skill is essential for your well-being. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by chronic stress or just trying to maintain balance, this episode has something for you. Daphne and Cliff delve into the transactional and transformational aspects of "no," discussing how it can protect your energy, clarify your priorities, and ultimately lead to more meaningful "yes" moments. You'll learn why saying "no" isn't just about setting boundaries; it's about cultivating a life of intention.Join us as we navigate this critical life skill and ensure you're playing the game of life on your terms. We also discuss the common fears associated with saying "no," such as disappointing others or being seen as a jerk, and how to overcome these challenges. Practice a slow "yes" and a quick "no" this month, and discover how this simple shift can transform your life.  Key Takeaways: - Why saying "no" is crucial for preventing burnout and overwhelm. - The importance of clear boundaries for a more intentional life. - Strategies for overcoming the fear of disappointing others. - How to practice and get comfortable with saying "no." Quote to Remember: Every "no" is a "yes" to something else and every "yes" is a "no" to something too. Connect with Us: Visit Cliff at https://www.cliffravenscraft.com) and Daphne at https://www.daphne-scott.com for more insights and resources. Thanks for joining us on this episode of Life: The Ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure Game. Stay tuned for more episodes, and until next time, remember that saying "no" is a powerful choice that leads to a more fulfilling "yes."

 In this episode of "Life: The Ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure Game," podcast, hosts Daphne and Cliff wrap up the first season with a reflective discussion on the key takeaways from their 26-week journey. They delve into the profound concept of life and its complexities, discussing how different practices and philosophies have influenced their perspectives. The hosts explore topics such as the Five Levels of Attachment by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr., the importance of mindfulness, and the interplay between emotions and thoughts. They share personal anecdotes and insights on how to navigate emotional states, the role of a compelling vision, and the interconnectedness of various practices and modalities. The episode concludes with a heartfelt thank you to their listeners and a promise of more adventures in the upcoming season. 1. Introduction: - Reflecting on the journey of Season 1. - The profound concept of life and its complexities. 2. Five Levels of Attachment: - Discussion on Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.'s book "The Five Levels of Attachment." - The metaphor of the Five Levels and their impact on our lives. - Personal insights from Cliff on his reading experience. 3. Mindfulness: - Mindfulness as a fluid and evolving practice. - Different ways to practice mindfulness in daily life. - The significance of being present in the moment. 4. Navigating Emotional States: - Differentiating between feelings and thoughts. - Identifying and managing emotional states. - Personal experiences of dealing with emotions. 5. Appreciation and Reframing: - The importance of trading expectations for appreciation. - How reframing perspectives can transform experiences. - Personal stories of shifting mindsets. 6. Compelling Vision: - The role of a compelling vision in personal and professional growth. - Creating a vision for the next three to six months. - The impact of having a clear direction and purpose. 7. Interconnectedness of Practices: - Integrating various practices and modalities. - Creating personalized frameworks for growth. - The iterative nature of personal development. 8. Conclusion: - Gratitude for the listeners’ support throughout the season. - Announcing the return of the podcast in the fall with Season 2. - Encouraging listeners to stay subscribed and connected. Get your free handout here of this season's summary that you can print and put the practices, into practic.  Additional Resources:- Subscribe to Daphne’s mailing list at www.daphne-scott.com and also get the Feedback Toolkit to support you and your teams. Giving feedback is one of the most challenging things any great leader must do to support the growth and development of their team and overall success. This toolkit offers the tips, tricks and skills for maximal effectiveness for any leader.  You can also find Daphne's writings at DS Leadership Life-Thrive in the 9-5 where she discusses all topics at the intersection of work and life.  Join Cliff’s email newsletter at https://www.cliffravenscraft.com for free access to the "All Beliefs Have Consequences" keynote and the Free the Dream course. Check out the Train with Cliff Audio Journal for behind-the-scenes insights and personal growth content at Train With Cliff Audio Journal. Get your subscription now for the next ninety-days at $25.00 a month.  Stay tuned for Season 2 starting in the fall, with fresh content and new adventures.      

In this thought-provoking episode of "Life: The Ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure Game," hosts Cliff Ravenscraft and Daphne Scott delve into the metaphor of "getting off the bus" to explore themes of personal freedom and choice. Through the lens of a vivid dream recounted by Daphne, the discussion centers on the critical moments when we decide to diverge from our usual paths to pursue new opportunities. The episode examines the concepts of 'freedom from' and 'freedom to,' highlighting the non-linear nature of personal growth and the importance of challenging conventional beliefs about success. It's a deep dive into how stepping away from societal expectations can lead to profound self-discovery and redefine what it means to achieve success and fulfillment. The hosts encourage listeners to rethink their own journeys, ponder what they truly want, and consider the radical possibilities that come from choosing their unique paths. We discuss the idea of moving the negative out of our life as not being a gaurantee that we will experience the positive and why it might do just the opposite, we discuss the power of choosing what we really want and also, why focusing on the 'how' can stop us from moving in the direction of our experiences.  You will want to listen to this episode if you've been considering making any sort of change in your life whatsoever.  We also announce that we will bring this season of the show to a close in our next episode and return in the fall.  If you are interested in taking your life and your business to the next level, be sure to join Cliff on his podcast, The Cliff Ravenscraft Show Podcast. If you're looking to transform your experience around money, time, your identity, friendships and stepping into the unknown, Daphne invites you to purchase her book Waking Up A Leader: The Five Relationships of Success. This book is a roadmap that guides you to consider what you really want in life and gives you the steps to embrace living your life with intention and action. 

In this week's episode we are talking about life on easy street and why that may not be exactly what we are desiring. We take a few different perspectives as we look at this concept through the lens of Ferris Bueller's Day Off as well as through our needs of certainty and uncertainty (variety). When we experience an overwhelming amount of uncertainty and feel as though our skills can't meet the challenges of life, we experience more emotions of anxiety and overwhelm. However, when our variety in life becomes too little and predictable, our skills aren't able to be utilized in a manner in which we are engaged and can experience flow. We discuss how our levels of responsibility in life and the degrees in which we take on more or less impact our life satisfaction. We also discuss the ways in which challenges and even the more extreme versions of our lives can create connection with others and a sense of overcoming obstacles that enriches our life.   If you haven't checked out Daphne's writing on Substack that is here to support you to Thrive in the 9-5, you can find it here and subscribe to read more of her publications. DS Leadership Life on Substack If you are a coach who wants to take your coaching business and your coaching expertise to the next level, Cliff is here to support your transformation. He will up your game to be sure. You can join his Next Level Coaching Program by going to Professional Coaching Path.  Join us for next week's episode and keep choosing your own adventure.  

This week's episode is all about being present and what that can mean for our lives. We discuss what it means not to be present and what that looks like and feels like. We discuss what it means to be in a threatened state and how distraction can also be a form of resisting what is occurring and takes us away from being present. We explore research by Killingsworth and also mention the book "Flow" as two forms of data to support our understanding and why being present matters in our life. We discuss the identity and ego as a means of keeping us from being fully present as well to our full possibilities in life, how we can miss the point of personality profiling tests, briefly discuss the enneagram and also how to bring greater presence into our daily lives through meditation and mindfulness practices that include journaling, vipassana meditation and visualization techniques.   Matt Killingsworth and Being Present Ted Talk Flow Ted Talk with Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Daphne invites you to follow her on Substack at this link. She is creating transformational writing for leaders in organizations and life: Substack on DSLeadership Life Cliff would like to invite you to reach out to him if you are a successful business leader transitioning into a new role in life and work. Transitions can be difficult without the right support and mindset to move through an identity shift and intentionally create your next path. You may email him at [email protected]. 

This week's show is all about the practice of equanimity and how we might incorporate this to navigate the game of life. As we've worked with clients in our coaching practices, we both hear from them regularly that they would like to experience more balance. Often times, the balance they are speaking about is the balance of emotions in their lives and to be able to find this balance no matter what things are occurring. Equanimity is the way to this experience. We discuss how we get attached to things going a certain way in our lives, the dangers of getting too excited about happenings and how we can practice and maintain our equanimity within all of life's circumstances. We discuss the experience of impermanence and how the coming and going of experience is as impersonal as anything else in our lives. We also discuss the benefit of coming to our life's journey with a plan and how that fits into the practice of equanimity. As we explore the topic we give five tips to practice equanimity with mindfulness, recognizing our emotions in the moment and even giving ourselves compassion and grace when we don't feel as successful with our practice as we could.  As a call to action, be sure to go to Mindset Answer Man to get access to Cliff's free course to change your business and change your life!  You can also leave us a comment and ask us a question at: Contact Cliff and Daphne. We would love to hear from you! 

In this week's episode we are talking about all the many ways we are investing our time in the game of life. We often think of time as a thing that we have too little of or, sometimes, to much of. Instead, we can see that with our consciousness and the things that we choose to do, we are actually making investments towards the well-being of our lives and also, the lives of others. In the show we discuss how we could see things as a 'waste' of time however, there is learning to be found in every moment. We also discuss how we are making investments in our consciousness by how we choose to think and see situations that may or may not contribute to our well-being. We discuss why eliminating tasks and learning to delegate are also key to being able to manage this investment. We talk about how you may want to keep track of what you are spending your time doing to get a clear picture of where you're spending your time both in the day-to-day and also, with your emotional states. We recommend two apps to do just that.  A Time Logger App Get Stoic App You can purchase Daphne's book, "Waking Up A Leader-The Five Relationships of Success" and also go to her website to get access to the free book resources.  To learn more about Cliff's new mastermind for successful business owners who want to take their business to the next level and who are looking for a group of successful entrepreneurs to share information and growth strategies, just click the link to apply.   

In this week's episode we are talking all about boundaries. We discuss what we mean by 'boundary', how to set them and then, how to maintain them. We tell the stories about our own experiences of growing up with very few boundaries and our path to learning how to establish them with people in our lives. We discuss the fear that comes with establishing boundaries in our work and how to move into greater boundaries gently with ourselves and others.  We recommend the author Henry Cloud and his website: Boundaries Quiz to learn more about your current relationship to boundaries. He also provides many great workbooks and reading on the topics. We also recommend the book by Nedra Glover Tawwab, which is a classic on boundaries Set Boundaries, Find Peace.  If you are a self-employed business owner and you are in the process of taking your successful business to the next level and you're looking for a group of like-minded entrepreneurs with great group facilitation, consider applying for Cliff's Next Level Mastermind Group. You can find the information at Cliff Ravenscraft's Next Level Mastermind.  And, if you're finding yourself on the verge of being a burned-out, dissatisfied leader who wants to flip the script and live the life you know you can, contact Daphne at daphne@daphne-scott and enter the word "coaching" in the subject line.  Also, drop us a note any time with questions or comments at Contact Cliff and Daphne. 

In this week's episode we continue our dynamic conversation on the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. We discuss the last two agreements which are: Don't Make Assumption and Do Your Best. We discuss the ways in which we make assumptions such as assuming that when people use similar words, that they mean the same thing. We also discuss how we make assumptions and adding meaning to certain events in our lives about what will be good for us or not. As we discuss the agreement of "Do Your Best" we embark on the distinction between doing and being and make distinctions about what it means to 'do' from presence versus attachment to an outcome. We also discuss what it feels like to take action from merely wanting other's approval or control in our lives versus, allowing our doing to come through the essence of who we are. Lastly, we discuss the inevitability of death in our lives and how this can inform our approach and what agreements we choose to embrace, or not.  We would love to hear from you! Reach out to us here with comments, questions or suggestions on what you would like to hear us discuss on the show: Leave a Message for Cliff and Daphne Also, you can find Cliff at right here: https://www.cliffravenscraft.com  Find Daphne at https://www.daphne-scott.com/.   

This week we are discussing the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book was originally published in 1997 and we expound on the profound impact that it had on both of us as we were awakening to the opportunities to live differently on our journeys. We begin by discussing the concept of the dream of life and the dream of the world as illusion and how we are 'demosticated' into the world by being given a book of beliefs that we often subscribe to, but not always. These beliefs can cloud us to see ourselves and the world as it really is and also, set us up for a host of limiting beliefs in our lives or rules.  We discuss the first two agreements and build on the concepts of these agreements and how they have impacted our lives so far. We look forward to sharing more with you in next week's episode.  What are the Four Agreements? -Be Impeccable with Your Word -Don't Take Things Personally -Don't Make Assumptions -Do Your Best If you are a solo business owner interested in taking your business and your life to the next level with elite coaching with Cliff, you can contact him at [email protected] and send a message with the word "coaching: in the subject line.  And, if you're a leader who is responsible for a team and you're feeling burned out and not able to get the things done that you would like to in your work and the rest of your life's work, contact Daphne at [email protected] with the word 'coaching' in the subject line.   

This week we continue on our quest for emotional excellence and resiliency. Today we build on our last episode to discuss the 'how' of being with emotions. We also discuss the dangers with emotional "intelligence" and why we may want a lot more emotional wisdom. We also discuss the shadow of emotions as a possible means of manipulation and why it is worth paying attention to our experience, first and foremost. We discuss the approaches that we can use to work with our emotions and how it can be a very helpful practice to get in touch with our body and sensations as well as the many techniques we can employ to support us on our quest.  Also, as a special addition to the show, we are including this week the 'pre-show' conversation between Cliff and I where we discuss the hook of 'perfection' and also why recognizing our motivations become integral to living our life as we would prefer. We think you'll like it.  References Mentioned in the show:  Emotional Intelligence and Richard Boytatis Emotional Intelligence Criticisms Daphne's Body Scan Meditation and Others If you would like to connect with us and ask a question or share your thoughts, find us here. We would love to hear from you!     

This episode is part 1 of our topic on feelings. What are they, where do they come from…and how do we get rid of them? (Just kidding!) Of all the things we contend with in a day, feelings are probably the most straight forward and also the most confusing things in our daily life. Today's episode came about from last week's show when we touched a point on ‘making a request’ and I mentioned essentially ‘spiritually bypassing’ a feeling. We discuss our experience with our own feelings, how to identify a feeling in our body and the main group of feelings that we can work with. We also share why labeling a feeling can be helpful. Stay tuned for next week's show when we talk about how to really work with our feelings as energy that flows through our body.    What is Spiritual Bypassing? Spiritual bypassing is a term first coined by psychologist John Welwood in the early 1980s. It describes a behavior in which individuals use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks. Essentially, it's the use of spirituality to avoid dealing with personal problems, painful feelings, and fundamental emotional and psychological needs. Some common manifestations of spiritual bypassing include: Overemphasizing the positive and avoiding the negative, often described as "toxic positivity." Using spiritual beliefs as a justification for avoiding difficult situations or denying painful emotions. Displaying an apparent calmness or detachment as a way to hide from one's true feelings. Claiming that certain emotions are "illusions" or "not real." Often stating that one should focus only on being spiritual, which can mean neglecting physical or emotional well-being. Using spiritual practices like meditation or prayer to escape from dealing with personal issues or conflicts. The concept of spiritual bypassing highlights the importance of a balanced approach in spiritual practice, one that integrates rather than alienates personal and emotional development. It encourages individuals to confront, rather than bypass, their personal issues as part of their spiritual growth. A feeling generally refers to an emotional state or reaction. It can encompass a wide range of subjective experiences including emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, or fear. Feelings are often a response to stimuli, either external events or internal thoughts, and they can affect one's mood and behavior. In psychological terms, feelings are typically differentiated from thoughts and moods: Thoughts are the mental processes of considering, reasoning, or remembering. Feelings are subjective experiences associated with emotions and mood and include sensations occurring in and on the body.  Moods are longer-lasting emotional states that do not necessarily have a specific identifiable trigger. Feelings are also an integral part of human perception and can involve physical sensations, as when someone says they have a "gut feeling" about something. They play a crucial role in decision-making, interpersonal relationships, and personal well-being. We also discuss the Cognitive/Emotional Loop: Cognitive/Emotional Loop The cognitive/emotional loop is a concept used in psychology to describe the continuous and dynamic interplay between our thoughts (cognitions) and our emotions (feelings). This loop underscores how thoughts can trigger emotions, and how those emotions, in turn, can influence and generate new thoughts. Understanding this loop is crucial in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic approaches that seek to manage psychological disorders by breaking or modifying unhelpful patterns in this cycle. Here's a closer look at how the cognitive/emotional loop works: Initiation: The loop often begins with a specific event or situation that triggers a thought. This thought can be about the event itself, its implications, or anticipated consequences. Cognitive Response: The initial thought leads to a cognitive response, which involves the interpretation or personal meaning attached to the event. This interpretation is heavily influenced by individual beliefs, past experiences, and current mood. Emotional Reaction: The cognitive response then triggers an emotional reaction. This emotion is based on how the individual has interpreted the event. For example, interpreting a comment from a friend as criticism might lead to feelings of sadness or anger. Further Cognition: The emotion can then influence further thoughts. For example, feeling sad might lead to thoughts like "Nobody likes me" or "I always mess up," which can exacerbate the emotional response. Behavioral Outcome: Both the thoughts and the emotions can lead to certain behaviors. For instance, if someone feels anxious and thinks they are in danger, they might avoid certain situations or people, reinforcing the anxiety. Feedback Loop: The behaviors and the subsequent outcomes of these behaviors can influence new thoughts, continuing the loop. This feedback mechanism can either reinforce the initial cognitive and emotional patterns, making them more entrenched, or it can help adjust them. Breaking or modifying this loop is often the focus of therapeutic interventions. Techniques like cognitive restructuring (challenging and changing unhelpful thoughts) and emotional regulation (learning to manage the intensity and expression of emotions) are used to intervene in this loop, aiming to produce healthier thought patterns and emotional responses. This can help reduce the psychological distress and improve overall mental health. Stay tuned for next week's episode when we discuss how to work with our emotions and how to shift our emotional states.  References mentioned in the show:  Byron Katie Emotions List If you're interested in getting world-class coaching with Cliff, find him at Cliff Ravenscraft Work With Me.  You can also pick up your very own copy Daphne's book, Waking Up A Leader: The Five Relationships of Success. It provides specific exercises and approaches to the five key relationships we work with in our daily lives.   

In this week's episode we delve into the pervasive habit of complaining, its psychological underpinnings, and its stark impact on the game of life. We shed light on the nature of complaining, what it is and isn't and distinguish it from simply having a desire for something to be different than it is. We explore the reasons behind why we often resort to complaining and how it serves as an obstacle to progress, contributing to negative mental health outcomes and maintaining the status quo by absolving us of the responsibility to act. We also discuss the with practical, actionable strategies for breaking the complaining habit. We discuss how to transform complaints into constructive conversations and make requests for change and how to challenge our beliefs about what we really think we need and expect in our lives to be happy. If you would like to drop us a line, you can find us right here: Message Cliff and Daphne

Unlock the secrets to mastering peace and joy in the complex game of life. Imagine for a moment life as the ultimate choose-your-own-adventure game, where every choice leads to new paths, challenges, and rewards. Yet, in our relentless pursuit of happiness, we often overlook the simple truth: the source of true peace and joy lies within us, not in the external world. Join Cliff Ravenscraft and Daphne Scott as they unravel the misconceptions that lead us astray, from the impact bias that skews our expectations to the hedonic treadmill that keeps us chasing the next big thing.  Are you ready to start a new adventure, try a different path, or even listen to a new podcast? Dive into this game-changing conversation and discover how to play the game of life with peace, joy, freedom, and a sense of endless possibility. We discuss The Concept of Life as a Game: We start by exploring why life can be seen as a game, including the strategies, the challenges, and the victories that define our existence. The Pursuit of Happiness: An insightful discussion on how our chase for external achievements—things, moments, goals—believes to bring us ultimate happiness, and why this pursuit often leads us astray. The Illusions of Happiness: Unpacking the psychological phenomena that mislead us: Impact Bias: Overestimating the happiness certain achievements will bring. Hedonic Adaptation: The tendency to quickly return to a baseline level of happiness regardless of significant positive or negative changes in our lives. Miswanting: Being wrong about what will make us happy in the future. Focusing Illusion: Focusing too narrowly on one aspect of our future desires. Comparison and Goalpost Moving: How constant comparison and shifting our goals can undermine our contentment. Finding Joy Within: The realization that true peace, joy, and calm come from within, not from our external circumstances. Life’s Freedom: Seeing life as a game liberates us from the attachment to outcomes, allowing us to enjoy the journey, take risks, and embrace changes with an open heart. Conclusion: A powerful quote that encapsulates the episode's essence comes from the book "The Unexpected Joy of the Ordinary by Catherine Gray: " Victory wears off; agony does too. Euphoria fades; despair too. Love wanes; heartbreak too. And life events that we expet to clinch eternal happiness, or spell cataclysmic lifelong doom, just...don't.  Unlock a level of freedom and joy previously unimagined by recognizing minute by minute where it is really coming from.  Call to Action: Check out Cliff's new offer for coaches, ProfessionalCoachingPath.Com.  Daphne also has an online leadership course for leaders wanting to truly learn the skills of leadership. Yes, there are real skills in leadership that you can learn. Check out the course: Waking Up a Leader References in today's show:  The Unexpected Joy of the Ordinary by Catherine Gray Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech          

In this week's riveting show, we discuss loss aversion and how to work with it in our daily lives. We delve into the prospect theory by Kahneman and Tversky, highlighting how individuals perceive the fear of loss to be more significant than the potential for gain. We share examples in our own lives and how we have overcome the fear of loss during times of necessary change. We also examine scenarios where loss aversion can lead to irrational decisions, such as staying in unsatisfying relationships, or prematurely exiting the stock market. The hosts suggest practical strategies to overcome this bias, like visiting the "mind gym" and playing the "worst-case scenario" game, a technique inspired by the Stoics. We also discuss how loss aversion can be of a great benefit when we recognize fully the gains that we could lose by not making a change and why we encourage listeners to shift their focus from avoiding loss to actively and intentionally pursuing success. While losses loom large, they don't have to.  If you're interested in making your next big move, reach out to Cliff to take advantage of his special Day With Cliff right here: Day With Cliff  And, if you are a newly annointed leader who really wants to understand what you need to know to be more effective in your role and how to do that with less stress, please check out Daphne's Course, Waking Up A Leader:  Waking Up A Leader Online Course    You can also leave us a message and ask us a question right here.     

This week's show is all about how we improvise with the cards that life deals us. We discuss the concepts of 'yes and', taking and giving focus, having each other's backs on the journey of life, why being present matters more than getting your 'line' in and how at the end of the day, we are all improvising anyway (even though we want everything to follow the script we have created).  References in today's show: The 4 Agreements It's Not About the Nail Ikagai Cards Notion Want to connect with Cliff and Daphne?: Leave a message for Cliff And Daphne You can find Cliff at Cliffravenscraft.com and Daphne at Daphne-scott.com

In this week's episode we are discussing the quality of our questions and the work of Byron Katie. We explore the topic of questions as a means of working with the mind, how our thoughts create our suffering, why some questions are better than others, the idea of self-inquiry, journaling and how we can work with our stories to free ourselves from our own self-imposed challenges on a daily basis.  References: Byron Katie The Work Beliefs About Being Gay with Byron Katie Weight, Sex and Adultery with Byron Katie Bryon Katie with Teenagers in Prison Insight Timer Contact Cliff and Daphne:  Leave a Message for Cliff and Daphne  

In this episode we are talking about what we really want to create in our life and what happens when we simply focus on the problems. We discuss how our identity and how we see ourself can create limits to what we allow ourself to experience or not in our life, why we might be more inclined to focus on problems than solutions, how we can navigate our fear, exercises to work with our idenity and also to define clearly what we want.  References mentioned in the episode:  Write Down Your Goals Fight or Flight and the Brain Leave us a message and ask us a question. We'd love to hear from you!  Contact Cliff and Daphne

In this episode we discuss the concept of the identity: what is it, how is it helpful and the moments when it isn't. We discuss the concept of the personas or 'masks' that we all wear at different times and for different reasons, how we are all attempting to get our needs met, what happens when we start to believe that the mask is fixed, how to shift within the personality and the fear that arises when we do. We also discuss how to work with the identity and the moments of grace that we can be afforded as we are following a new path.  References mentioned in this week's show:  The Book "Super Coach" Byron Katie's Book: Who Would You Be Without Your Story Alan Watts Quote  

In this week's episode we talk about the gift of creative endeavors and why reframing the idea of work and the meaning of our life is worth the effort. We define what we mean by work, why following the 'shiny thing' might be a good idea, how building what we want in life is also important, making money and how we see th idea of work, how following our interests may be the best thing we can do, identity and being trapped only in our work, finding meaning in life and how we may not be the thing that we do in the world.  References in this week's show:  David Allen's Book: Getting Things Done Chris Petersen and Positive Psychology Abba: Bright Lights Big Shadows on Kindle Transcript of Show Leave a comment or question for Cliff and Daphne: Message Cliff and Daphne

In this week's show, we discuss the many states of consciousness and how we can work with them in our daily lives. We specifically discuss the Map of Consciousness as written about by Dr. David Hawkins, the different emotions experienced at different levels, our own journey with our experience of different states of consciousness, what is consciousness, why understanding our own consciousness matters, how the body matters and meditation as a path to deepening our awareness and developing a greater capacity for noticing what is going on in and around us.  Feel free to leave us a voice message at: Message Cliff and Daphne References in this week's show: The Map of Consciousness by David Hawkins What is It Like to Be a Bat by Thomas Nagel Creating Lasting Change by Tony Robbins We also mention several meditation apps if you're interested in learning about meditation. You can also feel free to reach out to either of us too.  Insight Timer: This app includes teachings from thousand of teachers and many different approaches to meditation.  Headspace: A really great overall app for specific meditations and there is an excellent introductory class on meditation with great graphics that explains and addresses many of the misunderstandings of meditation as well.  Waking Up: Created by neuroscientist and philosopher Sam Harris, this application includes many different approaches with meditation and a host of different teachers as well as a course created by Sam Harris to teach the initial approaches to meditating. 

This episode is all about those moments when we seem to resist making our next move in the game of life. We discuss the idea of procrastination as a form of enlightenment and as a 'check engine light' in life versus something that must be overcome. We also discuss negative emotion, our beliefs about what we may want to avoid, why procrastination is more about our emotions than we might realize, how we can take action and still be in resistance, how this colors our experience, the ways we can create different experiences for ourselves as it relates to the things that we would like to do, curiosity as a means of understanding our priorities in life as well as acceptance as a path to gaining that curiosity, how giving our mind a 'bigger better offer' can work magic to move us forward.  Please see the associated transcript for specific time stamps.  If you would like to leave us a voice message of topics you might like to hear us discuss on the show, feel free to contact us here: Message Cliff and Daphne References mentioned in the show:  Dr. Judson Brewer Bigger Better Offer and Habits Procrastination and Our Future Self    

In this week's episode we highlight a commencement speech given by David Foster Wallace titled "This Is Water." If you have not listened to his talk, you can find it here. I highly recommend listening to it. We discuss the metaphor of being a fish in water, cite quotes from the talk by David Foster Wallace, discuss the concepts of the ego, cognitive behavioral therapy and the ABC model devised by Albert Ellis, why choosing what to think and how to think about it matters more than knowledge, how our thoughts create much of our reality and why making the choice to choose how we think isn't simply a matter of virtue.  If you would like to leave your us a voice message, we would love to hear from you. We welcome your questions and will do our best to address them on the show.  References in this week's show:  The ABC Model by Albert Ellis You can leave us a message here:  https://www.speakpipe.com/chooseyourownadventurepodcast You can also find us at www.chooseyourownadventurepodcast.com. 

In this week's episode we discuss the rules of the game in this life's adventure. We discuss an article that became a book by Clayton Christensen "How Will You Measure Your Life", what exactly we mean by 'rule', making decisions with limited information, the desire for certainty as a way of defining limited rules,  how measuring our life can take shape, what it means to outsource our well-being to outside circumstances and people, and creating an optimal system for living.  Sources referenced in this week's show: How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton Christensen Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins The Prosperous Coach    

In this week's episode we discuss the basic concept of Mindfulness. We discuss what it means to apply it and define it through our own experience. We discuss how the idea of a fixed identity can limit us and keep us subscribed to old ideas and old ways of being as we attach to a personality, our experiences of going from being reactive to accessing the higher wave brain patterns, fight or flight, accessing our prefrontal cortex, how breathing shifts our access to be more responsive versus reactive, how we can use appreciation as a path to higher resonate brain patterns, how making choices from only wanting to avoid experience versus creating an experience creates a different outcome, how all emotions are helpful, how to be flexible with our emotional responses and why we should care about any of it. We look forward to you joining us this week!  Resources loosely referenced in the show:  David Hawkins: The Map of Consciousness The Law of Attraction The Conscious Leadership Group Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business and Influence Others    

In this episode Cliff and Daphne discuss the main thrust of the show and how they see this life as an adventure book where you are always able to choose how the story ends. In this case, we are choosing our experience. They discuss choices, how we come to choices by wanting to avoid an experience or by wanting to create one, how much choice do we really have in life, death, loss, and how changing our mind might be the thing that ultimately changes the game. We look forward to having you join us on the show. Here is the link that Cliff mentions in the show for Alan Watts' talks and recordings: Alan Watts Talks You can find Cliff and Daphne also at Choose Your Own Adventure Podcast

In this episode, Daphne introduces the show with a pre-announcement of what's to come. Get ready for the adventure!!