Meeting the Inconceivable | Zen Koans, Dreams & the Creative Life

Today, Roshi John Tarrant takes up an infamous koan about a woman raising a goose in a bottle. There are many bottles that we may feel trapped in throughout our lives. Awakening is never about solving our problems but rather about dissolving the constraints of the mind. In this episode, we discuss the don't-know quality of Zen and koans in general. We also consider koans as a gateway. "Reject what is not true, and the real naturally appears." — John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: What does the koan about the goose in the bottle teach us How to care for life What is awakening How to get the goods out of the bottle — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha  

This episode features several stories of awakening to what was always already here and on our side. To end the project of suffering that many of us take on, we need first to identify the types of suffering. Only then can we begin to look past the suffering to the root causes. In Buddhism, we can learn to make use of our suffering by reaching for the light. What does reaching for the light look like, and why does the mind manufacture misery? "There is a place inside of you where you can rest. Even when you are reaching, you are resting inside of your life." — Allison Atwill. What You'll Learn: How to look beyond frustration What suffering does Buddhism speak to How does the mind manufacture misery What are the two kinds of suffering Why does the mind manufacture misery What is inward radiance — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

In this episode, Roshi Tess Beasley begins with an old Seamus Heaney poem about how the universe appears in all its splendor in the places we least expect. What does it mean to stay intimate with the being of the world, and let it unfold against our fingertips? What does it mean to give way to poverty in Zen, meaning to be empty of ideas and preconceived notions? Listen to this episode to learn how to feel your way along the wall, no matter how dark. "It doesn't matter how it comes to you, that you begin to dissolve your usual borders and feel a part of things." - Tess Beasley. What You'll Learn: What does koan Zen say about intimacy What does it mean to stay intimate with the being of the world How can we make sense of the feeling that our borders are not as certain as we thought they were What does it mean to give way to poverty in Zen How to let the world in How to feel your way along the wall — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

Roshi John Tarrant explores the intersection of the art of haiku and silence. In this episode, he shows how the vastness of the universe is always ready to emerge out of our very own heart-mind. How do we convey this? Listen to this episode as we grapple with the marvel of being alive and the sense of vastness of things. We muse on what comes out of the silence and consider how to teach and learn from the Dharma. "Darkness is a stillness, too." - John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: How to convey silence What are koans How to explain the dharma of haiku How to interact with koans What is precious about darkness How to fulfill your life purpose Ways to convey the Dharma — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode  Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

As the year comes to a close, "the Guanyins" -- Roshis Allison Atwill, Tess Beasley, Michelle Riddle, and Sarah Bender -- team up to tell a wintery Christmas tale of wonder. Holidays often come with difficulties, but also have the potential of opening the heart into unexpected moments of healing. Listen to a story of reconciliation, surprise, and the blessing that emptiness can bring to any season. Happy New Year! "Zen sees awakening as a kind of miracle." - Tess Beasley. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/30

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant shares a wondrous and humorous rendition of an old fairytale about the Golden Bird and Buddha Nature. Explore how it is never our most treasured or heroic attitudes that lead us through the gates of awakening; it is far simpler than that. Tarrant reminds us that, with just one sitting, all our crimes are wiped away. Listen to this episode to learn about the benefits of generosity and discipline, and how we can best manage our expectations of desire and fulfillment. "Everybody wants to be the best horse, but the worst horse is interesting." - John Tarrant Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/29

Thanksgiving and the whole notion of gratitude can bring along complicated feelings. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant shares an old story about a miserable student convinced that he is beyond help. The teacher he finds tells him she'll offer him a practice but only if he promises to take it up for a whole year, no questions asked. It goes terribly, but even that turns out perfectly in the end. Gratitude is far more mysterious than we give it credit for, and impossible to fabricate. Like awakening itself, it arises by itself as we move deeper on the path. "We don't oppose anything that rises in the heart or mind." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/28

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant shares an old Zen story about navigating impossible times and realizing how life carries us even when it's tough. "For thirty years, I've been just getting by," says the teacher in question, "but I've never lacked for salt or sauce." What makes the salt and sauce of our lives? Listen to this moving and joyful exploration of how, no matter our circumstances, it is a good life, and that we, too, never lack for salt or sauce. "Slowly the dharma just soaks into you." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/27

Being lost has a transformative beauty to it. Being lost is a gateway to the extraordinary, as it brings about the possibility of not knowing who we are. Listen to this episode as Roshi John Tarrant discusses the importance of being tossed out of our certainties and discovering something far more strange and true. The final evening of sesshin in the bath. "We can't object to the path or ourselves." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/26

During our journey of existence, we lose and find our true nature. It's amazing what we know once we allow ourselves to know it. What magic happens when koans start talking to each other? In this episode, Roshi Tess Beasley discusses the game of hide-and-seek we are constantly playing with ourselves, others, and everything. "There is some idea that things belong to us, but they certainly don't. That goes for our inner lives as well." - Tess Beasley. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/25

What does it mean to be in the bath of awakening? We somehow always have a reluctance to immerse ourselves completely, which is the very thing that holds it at bay. In this episode, Roshi Jess Cardin talks listeners through another water koan from The Blue Cliff Record in which the teacher recounts the "subtle touch reveals the light in everything." What do you hold in reserve? What keeps you feeling outside of things or difficult to reach? Listen from deep in sesshin. "Once I am in the bath, I can look back and see that I was always in the bath." - Jesse Cardin. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/24

The stone drenched with rain points the way. In this episode, Roshi Allison Atwill speaks on a koan born of a haiku by Japanese poet Santoka Taneda. What does it mean to be drenched in our own lives and experiences? This episode invites listeners into the constant downpour that is the universe itself. "It is a promising moment when we give up trying to control our situation; not to get our of the rain, but to let it soak through us." - Allison Atwill. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/23

We are all walking through the valley holding our lanterns. What is the Way? What do the valley and the lantern represent? Koans allow us to stop chasing. When we are not chasing things, we can experience freedom and delight. When you relate to something outside of yourself, you can be free. Listen to this episode as Roshi John Tarrant muses on having the mind of a dead log. "The whole of your life has a nobility and truth to it." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/22

With realization, all things are one family. Without realization, all things are separate and disconnected. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant talks about the empathy of meditation and its lack of opposition. Meditation assists in undoing the structures the mind makes. We can let go of control and let the koans carry us. Listen in to learn about the hidden allies we have in our lives and why the small self is always trying to be something. "The tradition teaches itself and teaches people to teach it." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/21

Today, Roshi Allison Atwill shares a poem about our intrinsic ability to always carry light and silence. In this episode, she explains how the original silence is always with us and within us. What are the elemental termas of Tibetan Buddhism? How can we apply these termas to meditation practice? We can learn and teach from the silence and the light that we each have within. "Awakening always appears in our actual life." - Allison Atwill. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/20

There is always a certain amount of mystery to who we are and where we are. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant takes up a poetic case entitled Jiashan's Beautiful State of Mind. What is your state of mind? What is it like to be you? "The universe is holding all of us and is all of us." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/19  

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant tells the story of Deshan and his transformative pilgrimage of awakening. We are all Deshan, ready to let go of our old pile of stories. What is it like to be on a journey? How do we get home from a journey? How does the journey change us? How can we meet our journey with openness? "Meditation is a kind of change of heart, but it is more a forgetting to carry our burdens." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/18

Today, Roshi John Tarrant takes listeners on a vivid imaginal journey into the depths of the Blue Dragon's cave of wisdom. "For twenty years, I've struggled fiercely. How many times have I gone down into the Blue Dagon's cave for you?" This great question appears in Case 3 of The Blue Cliff Record, the canonical Zen Buddhism koan collection. Tarrant offers context for the power of the Zen koan tradition, describing how the great images tap hidden reserves of the mind and open doors to awakening. If you've ever wished to ask questions to the source of wisdom itself, this talk is for you. "We have to submit ourselves to the current of life and be at ease." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/17

Today, Roshi Allison Atwill explores the bodhisattva's unique relationship with uncertainty as a healing balm for suffering. Describing how Zen Buddhism draws from the Mahayana tradition in which the bodhisattva path means helping to awaken all beings, Atwill notes this is not a future goal to somehow be achieved but a moment-to-moment way of meeting every aspect of our own lives with sincere openness. Your awakening has no recipe, she says. It's uniquely yours to discover as everything you've taken as a given falls away. "You can't get paint-by-numbers for a painting that doesn't exist. And it is the same for your awakening." - Tess Beasley. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/16

Can we trust our own unique response to life, our own dharma? In this episode, Roshi Tess Beasley speaks about how seductive problems are, and how frozen we can become when we think that something beyond what's already here is required. Telling the story of Juzhi and his infamous awakening encounters, first with the Zen Buddhist nun, True World, and then with the spirit of the mountain, Beasley considers the nature of a true word and what gets in the way of expression. Listen to learn more about how the practice of Zen Buddhism means connecting to a source greater than the small self. "Thankfully, we have these greater forces that seem to step in when we're about to get in our own way." - Tess Beasley. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/15

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant takes up a series of bright gate koans from The Blue Cliff Record, all featuring one of the greatest Zen masters of all-time, Yunmen. At the root of these dharmakaya koans lies the question of consciousness, or what Yunmen describes as: what is that light that everyone has? Chock-full of awakening stories from ancient China to modern day, this talk showcases Zen Buddhism's earthy, humorous, and joyful exploration of the wonders of existence. Listen in to learn more about finding your own light. "Look around. This is your temple of the Blue Cliff." – John Tarrant.  Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/14

Today, Roshi John Tarrant offers a guided meditation on a spring koan from the canonical Blue Cliff Record. It tells the story of longtime practitioner Lingyun, wandering in the mountains on a spring day, and suddenly, really seeing peach blossoms for the first time. He writes this verse: For thirty years I searched for a master swordsman, how many times did the leaves fall, and the branches burst into bud? But from the moment I saw the peach blossoms, I've had no doubts. Tarrant invites listeners into their own experience of peach blossoms, not as some distant historical anecdote but as a plunge into the vivid beauty of each unfolding moment. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/13

In this episode, Roshi Allison Atwill offers insight into Zen's signature transmission beyond words and letters. Telling the story of infamous Japanese Zen Master, Ikkyu Sojun, and his ambivalence toward transmission, Atwill describes how our particular awakening is always tailor-made to the circumstances of our lives. It always comes through the door we least expect, and dissolves whatever sense of separation we've held in place throughout our lives. Listen to learn more about the nature of awakening and how we are always receiving transmission. "We are always receiving transmission." - Allison Atwill. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/12

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant takes up a deep, strange koan in which a student asks Yunmen, "Where do all the Buddhas come from?" And, Yunmen answers: "East mountain walks on the water." Pondering the inevitable questions that appear as part of koan study, like where do we come from, and what is the source of this existence we find ourselves part of, Tarrant considers the traditions of Zen and Haiku as well as hippopotamuses. What do we do when everything we are holding onto falls down? Listen in to learn more. "The whole universe is in the glimpses." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/11

In this episode, Roshi Tess Beasley speaks about the nature of self-consciousness and how the koan path slowly guides us through the process of discovering our part in it all. It also ferrets out our strategies for making a separate self that cannot bear the intimacy of awakening. If we imagine that we are "us", it can be difficult to stare into someone's eyes for a long time until we envision ourselves as the night sky. When we forget to be ourselves our true nature can appear. "There is something nourishing and almost healing about seeing things as they are." - Tess Beasley. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/10

Join Roshi Allison Atwill to explore awakening as a great voyage, one that is entirely your own, and yet in which you are somehow accompanied by the entire universe. Atwill tells the riveting story of one sailor's solo journey around Cape Horn and reveals how, in the end, he gives up on the mind that races and compares, and turns toward Tahiti...a beacon for his true nature. What does it mean to give up on the project of improving and protecting the self? How does Zen Buddhism help us navigate a path to freedom? Each person takes the voyage of awakening alone and in some sense entirely accompanied by the universe." - Allison Atwill. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/09

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant tackles the first great gate of koan study, in which a student asks, "Does a dog have Buddha nature or not?" And, Zhaozhou simply answers, "No," (translated as "Mu" in Japanese, and "Wu" in Chinese). Exploring the vivid commentaries that accompany this foundational koan case, including instructions to "cut off the mind road" and "make your whole body a mass of doubt," Tarrant speaks about entering deeply the very trouble we usually seek to avoid, and the modesty of setting down our most treasured defenses against it. Being clever, being important, being tough won't help. It's when all this falls away that freedom appears. How then should you work with this? Listen to find out. "For the practice of Zen it is imperative that you pass through the barriers set up by the founding teachers." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/08

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant takes up a koan from The Gateless Gate collection in which the Buddha tells his attendant, "That person is like a fine racehorse who runs at the mere shadow of a whip." Tarrant investigates our relationship to suffering, describing the four kinds of horse metaphors in Zen Buddhism, ranging from the one who runs at the mere shadow of the whip to the one who must be whipped to the bone. Noting how everyone wants to be the best horse, but Buddha's compassion actually arises for the worst, Tarrant reveals the unexpected joy and wholeness found in our "worst horse" moments. After all, it is the very worst horse who reaches enlightenment in the end. Listen for stories and reflections on embracing the worst horse. "We often give away our life hoping for a later improved version." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/07

Fire is the vital element of transformation. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant discusses the Zen koan, Put Out the Fire Across the River, which originally arose in response to seeing the camp fires of Genghis Khan's army burn brightly through the night. Fire has a terrifying power for destruction but also a sacred role in connecting us. Like the old alchemists, we must immerse ourselves in something to transform it, and thereby we, too, cannot help but be transformed in the process. We cannot achieve much without a fire inside us, and meditation becomes a vessel by which we cultivate our capacity to become a living flame. Listen in to hear stories of all kinds of fire and also how koans come into existence. "Fire burns the barriers."  —John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/06

In this episode, Roshi Allison Atwill tells the story of Baizhang's Fox, a classic koan from The Gateless Gate collection about the nature of karma. In this koan case, an old man confesses he was once abbot of the mountain temple, but was sentenced to live 500 lives as a fox for misapprehending the nature of cause and effect. The story of his eventual freedom touches on the relief we find in realizing that our particular karma holds within it our awakening, and indeed our piece of the world's awakening. Listen to learn how Allison found Zen and why even 500 lives as a fox become 500 lives of grace. "Suddenly it is like you become the center of the universe." - Allison Atwill. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/05

Telling stories of how we are most deeply transformed by the encounters we try to keep at bay, Beasley reveals the tenderness that emerges when we can just simply feel how connected to everything we already are. Listen in to discover the red thread in your own life. "Somehow in the silence, we find each other." - Tess Beasley. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/04

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant explores a koan from The Blue Cliff Record featuring great Yunmen, great Cloud-Gate: A student asked Yunmen, "When the tree withers and the leaves fall, what's that?" Yunmen said, "The Golden Wind reveals itself."— transl. by John Tarrant & Joan Sutherland Exploring the beauty and wistfulness of Autumn, Tarrant describes it as a time of connecting with the eternal; a time when the spaciousness inside everything becomes especially apparent. Autumn also brings about the descent into darkness that evokes Persephone's return to Hades. It is through moving down, he says, that we eventually come to rest and be carried by the larger currents of life itself. "You have to go down before you can come up." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/03

Koans transform us through immersion and saturation, by dissolving the usual boundaries we keep between us and the world. If you have an unanswerable question, the koan is designed to open it. Today's episode explores a koan from the Miscellaneous Collection that poses: In the Sea of Ise, 10,000 feet down, lies a single stone. I want to pick up that stone without getting my hands wet. Roshi John Tarrant offers a guided meditation down through the ship wrecks, strange creatures, and unimaginable depths of our lives, showing how koans offer a kind of imaginative mindfulness by bringing attention to reality beneath the level of our usual thoughts. This koan brings images and sensations with it. There's water, earth, depth, sinking, light from above, pressure, breath, moving in the dark, finding, meeting, meeting yourself, rising up, shallowness, an impossible feat, getting immersed, and being untouched. Also, foxes. Listen to this episode for a full experience of one of the great Japanese koans. "The sweetness in the path of using a koan, is that it assumes that we can change." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/02

Today's episode centers on awakening as a practice of intimacy. Roshi John Tarrant takes up koan case 89 from The Blue Cliff Record: Yunyan asked Daowu, "How does Guanyin use all those hands and eyes?" Daowu answered, "It's like feeling behind you for a pillow in the middle of the night." "I understand." "What do you understand?" "The whole body is hands and eyes." "That's very well expressed, but it doesn't say it all." "What would you say, older brother?" "All through the body are hands and eyes." Tarrant speaks of koans as companions for learning to move in the dark, meaning learning to embrace the uncertainties in our lives and of life itself. Listen to hear more about the secret kindness of the world, and the unexpected help we receive when we take up the real journey. "You don't go with a theory, you don't go with a plan, you just reach into the night." - John Tarrant Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/01