My Buddy Buzz

In this update to Mary Lou, the narrator is after a new model for a new foundation for Buzz after reading about another family’s charitable effort in the Reynoldsburg Times. All the while, Buzz is preparing to get his library card and hopes Mary Lou might spend a few hours with him checking out comic books—or Snoopy. The request comes after a recent library disaster in which Buzz was found nearly naked on the bathroom floor after his scrotum popped off and rolled across the building, causing a scene with Denny from the car wash. The message closes with requests for “dumplings for the soul” books, concern that Mary Lou hasn’t been around in years, and a complaint that the house has grown smoggy without her changing the air filters.

After a stop at Pirates of the Caribbean Bar and Grill, they went to Third Church of Christ to have a hereditary family photo taken. Buzz wore his beloved boat shirt and Peggy powdered him up, but the whole thing went sideways when he sneezed during the picture and his scrotum popped off. The church is upset and wants an apology, though the narrator insists Buzz has every right to keep his parts private. The episode also reveals that Buzz may be moving to Zambezi Bay with his new wife, Cubble Dough, raising the unsettling possibility that the podcast itself might need a new name?!

Starting bright and early with an invitation to join the crew for a spaghetti pie gathering while Alex prepares the bongs and the group gets ready to eat. He reflects on the previous night, describing a lunar equinox with a red, sunless moon that felt “as if God had winked at us.” The evening included spaghetti pie and ice cream sandwiches, and the narrator thanks anyone who attended. With plans to continue the week and a casual sign-off, the episode blends party logistics with quiet cosmic reflection.

This quick update for Michael is regarding Peggy’s recent medical situation. After a visit to the doctor, she is asked to return due to complications of her genitalia, which was “swollen shut” upon her initial examination. While the doc attributes the issue to excessive viewing of Sex and the City, the narrator suggests a more practical explanation involving hygiene.

While enjoying a couple of Barnyard Busters at Ruby Tuesday’s with a dear friend, Buzz, an unexpected scrotal detachment interrupts the evening and forces a quick emergency trip to Ace Hardware. With just a Phillips head screwdrivers and soldering iron, they manage to reattach the situation before the doctor says it would have been too late to properly enjoy their busters for supper. After the improvised repair, they rush back to the restaurant to resume their meal and continue exploring the restaurant’s unusual dessert entrée system, hoping to catch up with Kelsey soon.

A late-night message to Mary Lou takes a hard left into Buzz’s latest emergency: middle-of-the-night dribbles followed by a consequential Walgreens pants run, a bath, and the lingering aftermath for Jim and Peggy to wipe clean. Equal parts concern, confusion, feces, and newfound concerns for Buzz’s recently-announced drinking habit.

While recovering from flu-like symptoms at home, an unsuccessful attempt to treat the illness by running vinegar down his nose is made per Peggy's suggestion. Plans for supper are still underway, with Alex preparing steak kebabs while the narrator heads out to grab burgers and apple pies. Buzz has just returned from a vacation with his new girlfriend Dribble, and the evening may include visits from Uncle Rolf and Buzz’s uncle Borble. Hoping not to spread the flu, the gathering may remain small, but who cares? The narrator notes that the episode is a fairly boring podblast but promises something “a little more buzzy” soon, ending with a request for prayers and a warm sign-off.

Plans for another birthday party are underway before Buzz heads to Tennessee for the week, featuring hot dogs dipped in milk, a possible wedding to one of three girlfriends, and hopes that Mary Lou will cater the potluck— or at least call back one of these days.

Peggy considers donating her bosom within the family, offers up a yard of dark burnt gray hair, and Buzz joins the NRA while they quietly hire help for ongoing pant-splatting cleanup.

In this brief voicemail, Jeremy is told that it's about time they return his sack of potatoes after holding onto them for several months. The narrator offers to drop them off before Peggy throws them away. While sorting through the bag, they discover at least one spoiled potato and possibly a couple of sweet potatoes. During the inspection, Buzz runs around inside the stash and nearly pops his scrotum off, prompting concern. The message ends with a polite request for Jeremy to call back and a warm sign-off.

During a half-birthday celebration at Shoney’s, Buzz bites into a porcelain apple and cracks his teeth. Shoney attempts first aid, but Buzz is rushed to the emergency room where every tooth gets pulled.

This imminent update starts off at Buzz’s surprise birthday party blowout, which concluded with a loud testicular incident and a confused bit of Buzz. Meanwhile in local news, as a nearby Burger King announces its upcoming closure, the community responds with compassion and a whopping appetite by organizing a fundraiser to keep the local monarchy from going under.

In this update, we’re told that Buzz is celebrating another bar mitzvah—partly for the bagels and partly due to a recent remarriage. He details a new romance connected to the Golden Corral ball pit, reflects on past relationships involving scouts and horses, and notes lingering disappointment after his pouch shrank. Plans are underway to “swap genitals” with Uncle Brichard so he can travel to Vietnam and make it back in time for Jury duty—all delivered monotonously in this densely packed voicemail.

In this neighborhood-wide update, a rough week involving a prayer chain for a serious rash, emotional support for a local spelling-bee contestant with only one testicle, and growing concern over pubic bloating and breathing issues.

In a voicemail to Zano Turningpit, Zano is asked if he would escort Buzz to the winter ball for his first public appearance since the reattachment surgery, following a Christmas Eve incident involving a tractor plowman, a runaway scrotum, and a Santa who stepped on it.

After a night of hacky sack causes his sack to pop off again, doctors suggest a new Velcro-based detachable system while they still try to make it to Easter potluck in Pickerington

A breakfast invite turns into a full medical and social status report: Buzz is out of the hospital after a “reattachment surgery,” his pouch is improving, and he’s ready to celebrate—preferably with dancing, karaoke, and (for reasons no one can fully explain) a ball pit.

Calling Kelsey from PetSmart to tell her they have her gerbil Peter’s favorite food. In addition, he’s considering buying some goldfish and potentially a few doggy beds like the ones she and Buzz used to sleep on.

Between dropping off push pops, planning for an underwater dress-as-you-go party, and Buzz’s “reconditional camp”, this episode is jam packed with fun-filled stories and circumstances exclusively for your listening pleasure.

In this brief check-in, Mary Lou gets word that the Duck Man has officially won the presidential election, with speculation of a whacky next couple of years. Meanwhile, Buzz is hopeful that Mary Lou may be willing to help him tweak his online blog.

Stranded at Walgreens with stomach pain and no Pepto-Bismol, he explains that Buzz is running a fundraiser while suffering from little man syndrome, a swollen pouch underside, and a pouch eighteen times normal size.

Peggy’s Menophase sends their bedroom routine into chaos while he seeks a full-time type of home helper. Meanwhile, Buzz falls off a statue playing snowball and his satchel pops off, loses multiple girls, and begins pretending to date a horse.

After a night of getting all liquored-up and a game of Mother May I, poor Buzz’s “pouch” pops off again, leaving him with greenish-hued genitals and orange-styled hair, and prompting yet another round of prayers and movie plans.

A big announcement—the grand opening of the Foundation for a Better Buzz after his latest scrotal episode, offering donor rewards like a visor that says “I Helpped My Buddy Buzz” and wristbands declaring “I Beat Scrotal Cancer.”

Peggy’s got a full-size summer sausage lodged in her toilet, a little boy’s pouch is being sold as a goldfish at PetSmart, and Buzz found frozen in the snow after slipping on a banana peel during sausage dancing with hookers.

Buzz gets an inked picture on his lower left buttock while Johnny’s Ice Cream raises money for “little boys who have lost their pouches,” and Biblo loses both his head and nose in a Star Wars–related domestic incident.

They’re celebrating his one-year anniversary of not chewing bubble gum by taking him sausage dancing at Applebee’s, while he deals with an exposed “outer strudel lining” that needs sunlight and a little emotional support.

He wakes up “laying erect,” reflects on his web-design journey through JavaScript 5 and CSS4, and has him spit out phrases for translation before planning trips to Roadhouse Burgerio and Tacos, Tacos, Tacos.

He attempts to start an educational marmalade segment while Buzz is in the bathroom “pushing one out,” eventually returning only to run off again mid-episode. Plans for board-game night, Peggy’s extreme-sexual gathering, and Carol’s birthday dinner round out the chaos.

He recaps an absolute mess of a night where Buzz gets his weed whacker jammed in Marla’s caravan door, chafes his scrotum playing miniature golf, and now has to keep his “milk rod” on ice while they record jingles and hunt for cheap coffee.

Nelly blasts her bagina open climbing a dog fence, and they’ll be organizing prayer services and posting Facebook photos to raise money. Buzz lands back in the hospital getting his pouch reattached.

Buzz is back in the hospital after a tractor stunt pops his scrotum off, he’s organizing fundraisers for a “double bypass” reattachment, and meanwhile Peggy is scheduled to have her vagina removed on Friday—all delivered in the gentlest and most heartfelt voicemail ever delivered in the South. A couple of prayers for Buzz and Peggy, please? 🙏

A late-night worry spiral leads the narrator to fear he’s contracted something serious—only for doctors to diagnose a single pimple. Meanwhile, Buzz shares his thoughts on “general herpes,” the trio heads to the hospital, and preparations begin for the HTML Conference in Wisconsin, where Buzz hopes to enter his micro e-blast into the HTML Hall of Fame. With juggling lessons, pogo-stick training, and a hopeful trip to Red Robin, it’s a full week for the gang.

In a sprawling voicemail apology to Kelsey, the narrator explains that Buzz was nearly deployed to Vermont, accidentally fathered multiple children after a botched vasectomy, and remains single if she knows anyone “interested.” Between clown-costume shopping, toaster-oven requests, and a gentle call-out to quiet friends, plans also unfold for this year’s Cooptown Poo Blob—a line-dancing convention where the dress code is simply “dress as you go.”

In a Walmart-based wellness dispatch, our narrator updates Mindy Lou on a purple jelly bean discovery, Vicks-infused enemas, and—most urgently—Buzz’s latest crisis. After getting stuck to a wad of bubble gum in the local Chuck E. Cheese ball pit, Buzz is now sporting a bubblegum mass fused to the underside of his scrotum. Peanut butter failed, the doctors are sighing, and temporary scrotumlessness seems inevitable. Between changing Buzz’s TV to Family Matters and prepping for Sunday dinner (where Buzz will proudly bring his Buzz Corn Pops), our narrator requests a few prayers, maybe some donations, and possibly a new scrotum. Community matters, folks—family too.