Powered by PURPOSE Podcast

Most people think they know what matters to them.But if you actually look at how you spend your time, your energy, and your attention… your life might be telling a very different story.In this episode, we unpack the hidden gap between your aspirational priorities and your lived priorities - and why that disconnect is the real reason you feel inconsistent, frustrated, or “off track.”Because the issue isn’t your discipline.It’s that you’re measuring your life against standards you’re not actually living by.We’ll walk through how to start identifying what’s really driving your behavior using the evidence your life is already revealing - so you can stop judging yourself unfairly and start building from what’s actually true.Because before you can grow, change, or live more faithfully, you need an honest starting point.In this episode, we cover:* [00:00] What do you say matters most?* [02:47] The gap where frustration begins* [04:00] Why this gap creates self-condemnation* [04:55] Looking honestly without judging yourself* [05:26] Faith, truth, stewardship, and growth* [06:35] Before fixing discipline, ask this question* [07:21] What to actually examineResources mentioned in this episode:If you want help identifying your actual priorities, you can explore the Pinpoint Your Intrinsic Drivers tool.And in the next episode, we’ll go deeper into why you think you know what matters to you - but don’t see much evidence of it in reality.Full TranscriptIf I were to ask you what matters most to you in life what would you say?And then if I took a look at patterns inside your daily activities, would they support your answer?That’s what we’re gonna talk about in today’s episode.Hello, and welcome to Powered by PURPOSE - I’m Melody Lacey, and I help people who love Jesus - but sometimes struggle to live and relate to others the way He calls us to.Because the struggle is real you guys! You know it - I know it - everyone knows it…So each week we’re going to take a God (and others) focused approach to self-discovery and personal growth here,We’ll unpack the real root cause behind the friction and conflict in your life and relationships,so that your life and work truly honor Him and bear fruit for His kingdom.We’ll do this by looking at the evidence your life is already revealing,get radically honest about what’s actually driving your behavior.and we’ll demystify how your beliefs are shaping your perception of reality.Because as you’ll come to see - the root of your tension isn’t your intentions… it’s your perception.You’ve unknowingly been building your life and work around assumptions you’ve never actually examined,and you’ve been judging yourself (and everyone else) by standards you’re not actually living by,Ouch - I know!But until that gap is addressed, everything will continue to feel harder than it needs to.So fear not!We’ll also discuss how to recalibrate your thinking with God’s truth, so you can start seeing things more clearly.Because when you see others more clearly… everything else falls into place.You lead differently.You make decisions differently.And most importantly - you start to treat others the way Jesus actually calls us to.So whether you’re building a business, leading a family, coaching a team, or simply trying to live your life more faithfully…THIS is how we close the gap between your current state and living out your true calling, so you’re actually bearing fruit for God’s kingdom.So let’s get into it…Most people think they know what matters to them.Like, if I sat down and talked to you about your priorities, you’d probably get all excited and tell me all about them. You’d tell me what you value, what’s important to you, and you’d probably list a bunch of things you think you should be doing as well.But if we actually took a look at your life - your decisions, how you spend your time, where your attention actually goes on a daily basis - it might tell a very different story.And that gap…that gap right there…That’s where most of your frustration is coming from in life.Because here’s what’s really happening:You’re not actually living by the priorities you talk about.You’re living by a different set - one that’s not as obvious to you.But at the same time, you’re judging yourself by a completely different set of standards.Standards that you’ve probably inherited - we all have.You’ve inherited them from… you know… you dead grandmother who always had dinner on the table by 6 o’clock and everyone was so impressed by that.You’ve inherited them from people in your church that you were impressed by - or maybe even a celebrity or a sibling - my sister thinks I’m pretty impressive - but I digress…You’ve inherited them from all kinds of places - even from the Bible. I mean, we should inherit some of them, right?But here’s the thing:There’s a set of standards you aspire to live by…and then there’s the set that you actually live by.And they’re probably not the same.So basically, we’re going to break down aspirational standards and priorities… relative to your real ones.So this gap between aspirational standards and your actual priorities is the real root of self-condemnation.And it’s why you feel inconsistent.That’s why you’re thinking:* “Why can’t I just follow through?”* “Why do I keep feeling off track?”* “Why aren’t I further ahead by now?”* “Where’s the frother - why can’t I keep track of that thing?”When in reality…You’re actually not off track.You’re just measuring yourself against something that isn’t actually driving your behavior.The thing is - your daily life activities are the ones telling the truth.But the story they’re telling isn’t written by what you say matters.It’s demonstrating what you actually care about - not what you wish you cared more about.This is the evidence that shows what your life is consistently organized around.And those are your real priorities.And most people have never been shown how to actually look at that honestly.I’m not talking about judging yourself.I’m talking about truly understanding:* Why you make the decisions you’re making* Why certain things feel heavy* Why other things feel naturalThis is the starting point of everything I teach inside my PURPOSE™ Framework.Because before you can grow, and make real progress in all those areas you’ve been working on, you have to be willing to see what’s actually there.What’s actually true about your life.Because if you think about it…We’re all called to live in alignment with truth.We’re called to love God, to love others as ourselves.But if we’re being honest…We’re not really very good at either of those things, right?Which is why I’m here talking to you about this.We’re also told to steward what we’ve been given.But, you know - we’re fallen, we’re imperfect… so we don’t always get things “right.” - and I’m using my air quotes here because defining what’s right is a whole other topic we’ll get into later,But this is also about trying to grow in life.If your perception is distorted, you won’t even know what to work on.Because if you don’t understand your current state, how are you supposed to put together a plan to improve and grow?You’re definitely going to struggle to execute if you don’t even know where you’re starting from.So the real key is a starting point.And that’s doing a current state analysis of what your life actually demonstrates right now - so that you can see it clearly and then move forward from there.Because you can’t align your life with truth if you’re evaluating it through a distorted lens.So before you try to go fix your “discipline problem”…before you try to get more consistent…Maybe just pause and ask yourself honestly:What is my life actually showing me right now?And before you get all weird about it and want to push back on this -This isn’t about judging yourself.It’s not about anything you’re doing wrong.In fact, it’s about eliminating that kind of judgment from the equation in the first place, so you can be more objective.So you can evaluate yourself without all of the emotional baggage.Because you don’t want to build off of that - you already know what that looks like.So what I’m proposing is taking a different approach.Looking at the evidence objectively… and then building from there.And it doesn’t have to be complicated.Take a look at:* Where you spend your time* Where you spend your money* Where you’re most organized - because even if you think you aren’t - you definitely are in at least one part of your lifeThose are the kinds of things we need to analyze.It’s not what you think you should be doing…It’s what you’re actually doing.That’s what we need to look at.This is actually the first step in my framework.Everything builds off of this - it’s that important.So you can start tallying up some evidence yourself, on your own…Or you can use my handy-dandy custom tool that walks you through 13 very specific questions that will actually reveal your existing priorities in life.And with that information, you’ll be one step closer to:* No longer beating yourself up over all those other standards you’ve set for yourself* And/or using that information to elevate your game…but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.We’ll go deeper into this idea in the next episode -where we’ll break down why you think you know what matters to you… but don’t see much evidence of that in reality.But in the meantime -If you’re interested in the guided experience inside my Pinpoint Your Intrinsic Drivers tool - I know it’s a mouthful, check out the link below.And we’ll meet again next week. 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Welcome to the prequel of my upcoming Powered by PURPOSE Podcast! I’d love to know how you prefer to consume your content, so please fill out the poll below and let me know!PLUS - here are some articles to catch up on if you haven’t seen them already ↓A bit about my backstory and the trap of trying to do everything ‘right.’Sometimes God isn’t asking you to stay grateful where you are - He’s asking you to trust Him for what’s next.You’re not lazy, undisciplined or broken… and you certainly don’t need more motivation ‘hacks!’ Get full access to Powered by PURPOSE at poweredbypurpose.substack.com/subscribe