Still Becoming with Katrina Oliver: Thoughts of a Therapist

What happens when everything you worked for… doesn’t feel like you anymore?In this episode, I’m joined by business strategist and founder of Hive Ambition, Ashley Sterken, for a deeply honest conversation about what it means to be a high-achieving woman whose worth has been tied to productivity, performance, and being “good.”We talk about the early roots of overachievement, the quiet ways external validation shapes identity, and the moment many women face—often in motherhood or midlife—when something no longer fits.Ashley shares her experience of stepping into a C-suite role, navigating postpartum and anxiety, and beginning the long process of untangling her identity from her work. We explore the shift from work ethic to worth ethic—a concept inspired by musician Toni Jones—the difference between ambition driven by validation versus joy, and how to start asking: Who am I doing this for?We also talk about community, friendship, and why so many women are craving spaces where they don’t have to do it all alone.If you’ve ever found yourself successful on paper but questioning what it’s all for, this conversation will meet you there.You can find our guest on Instagram at ashley_sterken and at hiveambition.

In this episode, we’re slowing down the conversation around boundaries and getting underneath the buzzword.I share my own journey with boundary setting—moving from people-pleasing and prioritizing others’ comfort to learning how to listen to my own internal yes and no. We talk about why boundaries can feel so uncomfortable, especially for high-functioning women, and how fear of disappointing others, conflict, or even being “too much” can keep us stuck.I also break down what boundaries actually are (and what they aren’t), including the difference between boundaries and walls, and why boundaries aren’t about controlling others but about communicating our needs and taking responsibility for how we show up.We explore the role of resentment as a signal, the importance of self-trust, and how setting boundaries can actually deepen connection rather than damage it.To close, I offer a simple practice to help you begin noticing your internal yes and no—because this work doesn’t start with saying things perfectly out loud, it starts with listening.

Ever notice how easy it is to describe yourself by what you do—your roles, your responsibilities, who needs you? And if you’re a woman who’s used to holding it all together, those roles have likely become a big part of how you see yourself.In this episode of Still Becoming, I’m talking about roles and identity—how, over time, the things we do for others can become intertwined with who we believe we are.We’ll explore what it looks like when those roles quiet down, even just for a moment, and the question that can feel surprisingly hard to answer: who am I without them?This isn’t about stepping away from the life you’ve built or abandoning the roles you care about. It’s about gently reconnecting with the person underneath them. I’ll share some reflections, a bit of my own experience, and a few questions to help you start noticing what’s there for you.By the end, my hope is that you’ll feel a little more grounded in yourself—not just in what you do, but in who you are.

Ever notice that voice in your head telling you you should do more, do it better, or that you’re not enough? If you’re a woman who’s used to doing it all, that voice has probably been with you a long time—and in midlife, it can feel louder than ever.In this episode of Still Becoming, I talk about the inner critic—the part of you that’s been keeping you safe, getting things done, and holding it all together—and the adult self: the calm, curious, grounded part that can step in, slow things down, and responds instead of reacts.This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about noticing what’s happening inside, recognizing the voices, and giving the adult self a little more time in the driver’s seat. By the end, my hope is you’ll feel a bit more seen, a bit less judged, and a bit freer to make choices from a place of clarity instead of pressure.

Have you ever looked around at the life you’ve built and thought, why do I feel so tired, when I am used to doing it all? If you’re a woman who’s used to doing it all—at work, at home, for everyone else—you might be hitting a wall in midlife.In this very first episode of Still Becoming, I talk about what it feels like when being the one who handles everything stops working. When the things that once felt normal—or even rewarding—start to feel heavy, and you wonder who you are if you can’t keep doing it all.We’ll explore what burnout really is (hint: it’s not just being tired) and why rest alone isn’t enough. I want you to feel seen, a little less alone, and maybe even start noticing what you’ve been carrying—and what you might be ready to set down.