Talking Sex

So much fuss about the almost-nakedness of a man. We had to stop what we were doing to ask, "what's going on?" That's the episode.Tune in, you must.Amazon link: https://amzn.to/3cZiiR0Blog: https://misters.in/en/blog/talking-sex-the-almost-naked-man/https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Straight men, much more often than not, have not really had a one-on-one with trans people.Therefore, even with high intent to relate to the experience of gender as lived reality, the understanding is largely theoretical.So in this episode we listen to the stories, some poignant and painful, but all told with lightness and reflection.Have a listen. It’s worth it.https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

In Season 3, Episode 2 of Talking Sex, we review what’s new in sex. This is a new format, and we are trying to broadly bring to you a curation of news about sex that catches our eye. Play on!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

This episode is about our guest. And yes, every guest is special, but today our podcast, Talking Sex is going to talk to a master of talking sex.Paromita is an accomplished filmmaker, screenwriter and all round amazing person, who has now been opening up the conversation about sex with the superbly entertaining and well known initiative, Agents of Ishq.From the spectrum of sexuality to masturbation to queer culture to fetishes nothing is off limits for agents of ishq, and the language is not elitist, academic English but street. https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Today we begin with a note of thanks to you, dear listener.When we started this podcast we would never have thought we would be doing a Season 3! And yet, here we are, mostly because the numbers have spoken, and this is India’s leading podcast on sex from men’s point of view.So, welcome to Season 3 Episode 1 of Talking Sex. Today we will be talking about masturbation, with returning expert guest, Dr Preeti Singh, and usual suspects, Sunny, Beli and I, your reliable host, Suhas. https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

This episode is different from all others we have done so far.Mostly because the usual suspects—Sunny, Beli and I (Suhas)—are out and about in Mexico! If this were a video show, we could have worked that in visually, but it is of course, not a video show. So, you will have to take our word for it.And what does that have to do with the show anyway, you ask? Well, that is a fair question. On our journey over we got to reflect on what the journey of this podcast has been, and so it seemed that the podcast itself can be, for once, the theme of a podcast episode. Call it self-awareness, call it self-indulgence. Today we will talk about what we have talked about. Or at least what has stood out for us in what we have talked about. A highlights package, if you will. Play on!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Now most of our episodes are from a straight man’s perspective. Well, three straight men, but all straight nonetheless, but that is not all there is obviously. So every now and then we reach out to our gay friends and invite them over to the show to bring in that view. Well, not everyone accepts the invitation but today, we got lucky.Play on!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Today’s theme was not chosen proactively. It is a reaction to the new Netflix series, The Principles of Pleasure. Given what this podcast is about, we watched it and had things to discuss. So here we are today. Play on!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

There are a lot of new words popping up around us when it comes to dating, love and sex. Language evolves, of course. New words find their way through a slow accretionary process and vocabulary expands.The headline—new words added to the OED—is quite an essential around the changing of years. ‘Contactless’ and ‘adulting’ were among the additions in 2021 for example. Fine words. However this is evolution. Slow moving. Gradual. And in this case, imagining the fuddy duddies at work at the OED, the change is careful and deliberate. There is another shift. More mutation, if you will. Words that become relevant because the concepts they represent become necessary. Gaslighting, for example. Used effectively to expose the reality of toxic relationships, the word caught on.And yes, there are cases of it being applied with insufficient examination, but that is a burden that all words carry. Today we will look at a list of words that is emerging around dating and sex, and try and unpack them and even pick favourites for eventual recognition as words.https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Sex in marriages lends itself to some all too easy stereotypes. And while the standard issue jokes can (sometimes) be funny, the theme needs some exploring. And so this episode. With three people in long term relationships, two curious bystanders, and one expert. A very stimulating conversation, and one that will probably help you contextualise a lot of what you have been going through in your own long relationship. Or indeed what you might go through when you are in a long relationship. Play on, you must.Amazon Misters Store: https://amzn.to/3cZiiR0Please use this coupon code to avail Rs.100 off on all productsPODCAST100Blog: https://misters.in/en/blog/sex-when-you-have-been-married-for-years/https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

An ancient text, naughty yet wise, wistful yet joyous, teasing yet direct. We had so much fun reading these poems to each other, and did a little bit of deconstruction and a whole lot of gushing while at it. Play on, you will love it. https://amzn.to/3sE2rLQhttps://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Porn. It is a tricky theme. To watch it, to not watch it. Is there good porn, and bad porn? How do we identify porn addiction? And what do we do if we find ourselves addicted? All of this and more in this freewheeling chat about porn. Play on, you must!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Discussions on mythology are fraught with assorted dangers so apologies in advance to anybody who finds this version unacceptable, of course.To start, a broad outline of the Yellamma tale as it appeared in The Hindu newspaper.The story goes that the Goddess was the wife of sage Jamadagni, and had three sons. Renuka earned her husband’s fury for not dutifully filling up water in the clay pot for his rituals, as she was distracted by the sight of Gandharvas, who had taken the form of men, bathing in the river. Being a sage’s wife meant sacrificing her sexual needs, and mythical tales hint at how watching the men made Renuka painfully aware of her own sexually unfulfilled life. Through his powers of intuition, Jamadagni became aware of his wife’s thoughts and ordered his sons to behead her. Of the three sons, only the third son Parashurama agreed to execute the father’s orders, but later, pleased by his obedience, when Jamadagni bestowed a wish for fulfilment upon his son, he prayed to his father to restore his mother back to life. Several such stories of the goddess exist and in one Renuka’s heads split into ten when her son kills her.And our guest tonight, Shilpa Mudbi, of the amazing Urban Folk Project. From their site, “Yellamma’s story is not a myth but the collective histories of people, especially, women and their trials and tribulations that echo from our past. ‘Yellamma and Other Stories’ is musical storytelling curated to give audiences a glimpse into the mythical world of Goddess Yellamma. In presenting Yellamma’s tale, the performance poses pertinent questions on patriarchy, purity and power structures.”https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

We are back. It is Season two of Talking Sex. And in our first episode we talk about Sex Education, the Netflix Show. It is altogether amazing that a show about young people discovering sex through a series of misadventures holds so much of value for grown-ups (still) trying to figure out sex! And we delve deeper into what the amazing Dr Jean Milburn (played by the amazing Gillian Anderson) would have to say (hypothetically) about the preoccupations that men have around sex. Say, the question of penis size, or lasting longer. A recap of various themes that came up in our first season, but fairly entertaining. Play on, you must!https://misters.app.link/e/podcastThe Misters Five Point Plan to Last Longer During Sexhttps://bit.ly/30r61yXWhat is the perfect penis size?https://bit.ly/3E1oCPLTalking Sex | Marriage, Work, Parenting and Sexhttps://bit.ly/3IMHndH

To discuss the idea of man and the challenges and frustrations it creates for men and women, we have one of Indian poetry’s brightest rising stars, Abhishek Annica. Abhishek's wonderful poem, Vyakaran, https://poshampa.org/vyaakaran-abhishek-anicca-poem/ tell the story of not belonging beautifully. The idea of male vulnerability, and revisiting the essence of male friendships all come up in this episode that moves between poetry and prose, between the comic and the tragic and between sameness and difference. Play on, you must!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

The most interesting stories about our misconceptions about sex, say in our twenties, or even the ones we carry with us now, go back to childhood. And when the root story is told, it is often tragicomic. The group of friends who decided to convince a particularly studious sort of classmate that his penis is extremely small. Or the ones who spread the idea that semen is so limited that if you masturbate a 1,000 times you will have none left. So many such. (On masturbation, do read https://misters.in/en/blog/how-much-should-one-masturbate/)The attempt in this podcast has been to try and move on from all that. However, how does one move on? There’s the risk of suggesting therapy to everyone, and while that may be no bad thing, it is a non-starter for purely practical reasons. (On therapy, this may be a great read, https://misters.in/en/blog/a-more-meaningful-way-of-talking-to-your-partner-about-sex/)Much of what was clearly unreliable information—gleaned from friends on playgrounds, or on the back benches in class—stays with us and continues to shape our views well into adulthood.With us today to discuss all this are of course the usual suspects, and Manak of the YP Foundation, an organisation that is doing amazing work with young people on sex and gender.https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

The question of size comes up for all men, in one way or another. The line, 'size does not matter,' is heard often and loud. An added dimension is that most men—nearly all men—who are worrying about size have a fairly normal penis size. According the scientific data—on the basis of a scientific study published in British Journal of Urology International in 2014—the average penis size is 5.16 inches when erect, with a standard deviation of 0.65 inches. Based on this data the men who come to Misters (Misters.in) looking for a penis size increase have almost always been between 40 and 97 percentile! This means that men with a concern about penis size generally, statistically speaking, have a normal sized penis.The penis size improvement project--flawed as it is--represents a substantial economy. Estimates here at Misters, suggest that it represents commerce of at least 30 Million USD per year in India. And yet there’s the categorical view from science, that nothing—barring surgical interventions—can increase size.Why the quest, then? Play on, you must!https://misters.in/en/blog/what-is-the-perfect-penis-size/(where 'according to scientific data' is mentioned)https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Complicating the idea of man, is important for the happiness of men. Also, for happiness all around too. Well, today we lay it bare in terms of what these three men have experienced when it comes to desire. No guest experts, but in the telling of three extremely honest stories, a revelatory, insightful episode. Play on, you must!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

It’s a visual that we all know well. Those who grew up in South Asia, at least. Signage on the walls that one sees from the train, or from the highway, promising to fix all sorts of “gupt rog.” A fix for ‘namardi’ and ‘shighrapatan,’ if only you met them on a Wednesday morning (budhvaar subah milein.) Well, for most that world is invisible apart from the signage, so in this episode, the view from within. Speakers with first hand accounts of what it means to go into a sex clinic. Play on, you must!https://misters.in/en/blog/talking-sex-gupt-rog/ (Blog)https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

The classic story–how do all that we seek in happy domesticity get in the way of a 'good' sex life–revisited. This time with Barkha Bajaj, founder, director and senior psychotherapist Unalome. Barkha has a Masters’ degrees in Clinical Psychology (University of Pune) and in Counseling Psychology (Texas Woman’s University, USA). Over the last 13 years, she has worked extensively in India and the US.Talking to Barkha about the issues around sex experienced by couples, as seen at Misters, Suhas, Sunny and Beli.A conversation with some very useful, very actionable points for most couples. Play on, you must!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

As Misters, we have a very specific grouse against Instagram and Facebook. When we set out to build this men’s sexual wellness brand last year we committed to certain key principles. One was that we will not do the obvious humour about erections and such because the obvious humour has been a chief contributor to the stigma around the category. Two, related, was that we will not use euphemisms. Not for us the banana or the cactus that stands in for erections. We built a product that helps men, all men, get better erections and said exactly that. However, we did not see the conflict with Facebook advertising policy which says, and we quote:“Ads must not promote the sale or use of adult products or services. Ads promoting sexual and reproductive health products or services, like contraception and family planning must be targeted to people 18 years or older and must not focus on sexual pleasure.” If prudishness needed a manifesto, this would be it. Sex is a topic to engage with only for its procreation attribute. So, a worthwhile rant of an episode, with Meghna, founder of WeUnlearn joining the usual suspects.https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

As a podcast we have ventured into some interesting areas. There has been the evaluation of a number of unusual positions, for the unusual by definition, is more interesting.However, the fact is that for most people sex is mostly within the marriage. We will not say entirely within marriage, because data on extra-marital sex is predictably elusive and that that exists is difficult to consider reliable.There are some broad themes we have seen in discussions on sex in committed relationships. There is the path of a couple becoming a very efficient team and so becoming post-sex in some ways. Marriages which continue to be functional but keep moving towards a comfortable sexlessness. Then there is the stereotypical sexlessness with time that we well know from pop culture.And Pallavi, the intimacy expert joins the group of usual suspects to chat about it all.Play on, you must!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

The term ‘manel,’ is a relatively recent one, of course. To prepare for this show we checked out a poll on whether it should be recognised as a word on the Cambridge Dictionary website, and found out that 22.4% of respondents think it should be, while 34.7% think it should not be. The others, well they want to wait and watch! It is clearly a divisive word (in the making.)We voted for its addition to the dictionary, because I think the portmanteau of ‘man’ and ‘panel’ is rather relevant given how public conversation has been undoubtedly dominated by men. That gender frames how we relate to the world is beyond argument. Therefore around fifty percent of the population being un-represented in public conversation is not acceptable, and so the word matters. If it is a podcast about, say, The Irish Potato Famine and they have no women in the panel, we would protest, but we are talking about men’s experience of sex, so the question is not as open and shut as one might think.Given the question, this particular episode could not possibly be a manel, of course. (It is all getting a bit meta now.) So we have four women friends of the show, who have listened in patiently to these men go on for a while, and help us figure the way forward on this one. Play on!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Why are we deconstructing a show that last aired 17 years ago. 17 years of so much change. It is strikingly odd to see these characters without smartphones, for one. And yet, all that considered, it lives on. The fact that it is still in the Top 5 most watched shows in India on Netflix is evidence enough that it continues to be relevant. As someone who watched the show through my late teens and early twenties, I find it fascinating when I notice young people watching it now. The music they listen to I can’t relate, but talking about a favourite Friends episode with a 17 year old today is a very viable ice-breaker. Back in the day, it introduced ideas such as dating (which only existed in fictional Riverdale before), working on relationships (the couples we saw seemed to just live through them), and distinctions between loving someone and being in love with them (a nuance that one sees often on social media still.)We give it that credit, and then some. And to keep it all fair, we take a fair few swipes too. Play on, you must.https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

One of the recurrent themes in this ongoing discussion about sex have been the baggage we carry around it, due to the misconceptions that formed during childhood. These take a lot of time to leave behind, if ever we leave them behind. Our thoughts about sex, our expectations from it often continue to be shaped by what we learned when we were kids.And yet the stories of formation of these are not too troubling. It is often the slightly older cousin or friend who seemed to know enough about it to tell us what is what. Or the porn we watched sneakily.Essential rites of passage rather than outlier events. So it must be the conversations that we did not have. The ones proper grown-ups around us shied away from. How to not shy away from these as grown-ups now, and what to include in these? For such questions we have Anju Kish, founder of the amazing Untaboo, talking to us about it all. Play on.

What happens in men's bodies as they age? Unlike most healthcare issues, in which men's issues dominate resource allocation and share of voice, this is an odd one. Men's ageing issues are relatively under-discussed compared to women's ageing issues.In part this is due to the different nature of changes. The decline in testosterone, the prime mover of changes men experience as they age, is not at all cliff-like as corresponding changes during menopause are for women. However, the decline is real, and so are the experiences. More irritability, stress and anxiety. More sleep issues. Loss of physical strength. Decline in sexual function.A proper sweep through all questions around male ageing.Play on.

For around 16% of all men, Bollywood is a source of information about sex, and sets up some of the expectations they have about it. Therefore, it is only fair that we explore what it tells us about sex, covering both what it, expectedly, gets terribly wrong and what it, unexpectedly gets very right.With veteran film journalist, Manisha, and Filmfare digital editor, Rahul, and Bradley, a journalist from Filmfare, a discussion that rollicks around this vast, rich landscape. Have a listen.

Around 70% of all men want to find ways to last longer. That's quite a stunning majority, and yet the question arises, how soon is too soon? And how long is long enough? What informs the setting of the benchmarks?And of course, what can be done about it.An unusual episode because while it includes the incisive analysis our regular listeners have come to expect, it also offers a very specific 5-point plan to address the issue comprehensively.Play on, you must.Please use this coupon code to avail Rs.100 off on all products PODCAST100Blog: https://misters.in/en/blog/the-misters-five-point-plan-to-last-longer-during-sex/https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

What happens in men's bodies as they age? Unlike most healthcare issues, in which men's issues dominate resource allocation and share of voice, this is an odd one.Men's ageing issues are relatively under-discussed compared to women's ageing issues.In part this is due to the different nature of changes. The decline in testosterone, the prime mover of changes men experience as they age, is not at all cliff-like as corresponding changes during menopause are for women.However, the decline is real, and so are the experiences. More irritability, stress and anxiety. More sleep issues. Loss of physical strength. Decline in sexual function.A proper sweep through all questions around male ageing. Play on.https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

A deep interest in sex is obviously the reason behind Misters, and in our journey over the last two years we have engaged with tens of thousands of men to figure what is going on. Conversations that have generated compelling stories and numbers.In this episode, we discuss some numbers that seem important, and are not well known, because unlike so many human pursuits and interests, sex is difficult to research.In this episode we talk about the frequency of sex, how that changes with age, and by type of relationships people might find themselves in. It is all utterly fascinating. Play on.https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

In a couple of previous episodes, there was discussion on how one figures 'feedback' during or after sex. Specifically in the one with Rohan, we tried to find some answers for this tricky question. It is tricky because asking for it, almost like we are asked about the quality of food at a restaurant, is rather farcical, and, on the other hand, not bothering about it at all is rather regressive and takes so much of the mutuality of sex, a source of much joy, out of the equation.So, in this session, with accomplished psychologist, Dr Preeti Singh, we delved deeper. And like all good conversations we had some lovely digressions along with the exploration of the starting question. The highlight, watch out for 'over-empathy'!Have a listen. Sure you will enjoy it.https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

While the point of the Talking Sex Podcast, and indeed of the Misters brand has been to have an honest, frank and innuendo-free conversation about sex, and men's view of sex, we realised that it has all been rather heteronormative. All straight, in other words. So it was about time to be not that straight.And what a first conversation it was. Sparkling! With Anirudh and Rahul, two young men talking about how Bollywood makes it harder, the challenges of coming out, the specificity of choices when you first have gay sex (top or bottom?) and how tech has been around for so much longer and has played a much bigger role in gay sex.If there is one podcast you should listen to begin to understand the gay experience, this is it. Also, you must visit Aniruddha's brilliant website, theguysexual.com which is so well described as 'every gay man's pocketbook.'https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

We first thought that this episode should be called, 'it's all in the mind.' And then we started talking to Rohan, one of the brightest upcoming therapists of the land and realised that one of the biggest problems is that a lot of people keep assuming that it is all in the mind, and therefore do not nothing on the physiological front. That's obviously a problem in the sexual wellness space. So yes, the mind matters, but important to realise that it matters in conjunction.With interesting stories of men's challenges encountered in practice, and the idea of interrogating the fundamental conditioning instead of just learning partner's preferences, it is a great listen to get you to think of the next steps on your path to better sex. Enjoy!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

The question of intimacy is so intertwined with questions of sex, and so this had to be an episode. And who better than the forthright Pallavi to have as guest.An intimacy expert who has made talking about sex and intimacy her mission.Men and women have been turning to her to get advice on how to have a better appreciation of sex, or indeed on how to have better sex lives.Covering themes of sexlessness, language, spicing things up, female pleasure, moving beyond positions, this episode is a great listen as, say, Intimacy 101.https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Music matters. We know that.We have our playlists for walks and runs, for drives and deadlines.So, by extension, we decided to get some of India's finest minds (well, we say so ourselves), to put together the perfect playlist for sex and intimacy.A conversation moving with abandon from Miles Davis to Ram Leela, from Simon And Garfunkel to Guide, and many such.A quest for the unrushed.A quest for the urgent.And of course a tough host unwilling to admit, 'aaj phir tum pe pyar aaya hai'. Neither the original, nor the remixed versions.Enjoy!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast