The Children's Pastor

Shock. Anger. Offended. Hurt. Troubled. Confused. Dismissive. These are just a few of the words that have been used to describe the opening ceremonies of the 2024 Olympics. While there have been many opinions about what transpired, it seems many Christians around the world took offense to them. But should they/we do so? While it’s difficult to tell someone how to feel, I share my opinion on why I personally wasn’t one of those offended…even though I believe what took place wasn’t necessary or good.

What if our children's observation of their relationship with you or I is that we care more about our device than them? Obviously, that would be devastating! Unfortunately that’s what children are saying; and likely way more than we want to think. Simply being in the room—being present—doesn’t mean our presence is a present. Our presence becomes a present through intentional engagement and authentic connection with our child; and others. This begs the question: what are we doing with our time?

This week we talk about the downside of being an overprotective parent. Often we as parents try to shield our children from consequences, but the reality is there are valuable lessons and opportunities for growth when getting both an actual skinned knee or the metaphorical one.

Fear…this is, in my opinion, the driving force behind helicopter parents. What is that, or who are they? These are parents who intentionally or unintentionally overcompensate, are overprotective, over-controlling, and more with the children. They are micromanaging parents. And while I do believe they have the best intentions, in many ways this style of parenting has the potential to leave real and lasting consequences on the lives of the child.

I recently came across a quote from Parent Cue that basically said that as parents we're leading in the present but fighting for the future. In the midst of the daily chaos we are called to be good stewards of our children. This means we have to sometimes say no, but doing so in the posture of mercy, justness, and faithfulness.

Our culture, but really each of us at times, don't like discipline or accountability. That said, the Bible has much to say about the role of a parent and discipline. Kids don't need a parental friend. They need someone who from time-to-time will loving be the "bad guy".

Why? If you've been around any child you know that this is a standard response. Kids ask lots of questions, often for various reasons. The same is true when it comes to their developing understanding of God and faith. And it makes sense in light of what John chapter 21 tells us. God has given us a perfect revelation so that we can know Him, but that doesn't mean we know everything about Him. The curiosity of a child's simple faith and desire to know should inspire us to ask questions too.

Can kids handle the Gospel? Does it need to be watered or dumbed down? Let's start with what the Bible has to say about this. The Apostle Paul gives some insight into the childhood of his mentee and friend Timothy. Paul shares that from childhood Timothy's adults connected him to God's Word knowing that it gives wisdom for salvation. It wasn't too much for him. The same is true for children today. They can handle the Gospel. They need the Gospel. "But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus." 2 Timothy 3:14-15

Here's the hard truth: screens are being utilized as a substitution for parental attentiveness. At a bare minimum, this is a misuse of the purpose of screens. Maybe worse, it's bad stewardship of parental responsibility. Children need more from their adults than a technological pacifier.

SCREENS! The use of screens, or electronics, is something that most grown-ups that interact with children deal with on a day-to-day basis. So let's be honest: you probably have a love/hate relationship with them for various reasons. And you probably move along the spectrum of love or hate depending on the day and situation. This week I'm joined by Anna Heatherly--my wife- to talk about how she took the initiative to "exorcise" screen usage in our home.

That's right...you're kids have a unique knack for sharing their business, which sometimes means they're sharing your business. And it's okay and good for your child! Why? Because the children's pastor does keep secrets.

Knowing that you're in a battle--a spiritual one at that--probably doesn't sound all that encouraging. But what is encouraging is that you don't have to be in the battle alone. For those who know the Lord He is a refuge, stronghold, and so much more. The battle is real, the enemies are real, it's likely more intense than we imagine and has eternal impacts, but the Lord protects those who know Him and take refuge in Him.

What would it look like for you to parent in light of the knowledge that there is a spiritual battle taking place all around you? To parent knowing that you are in a battle and that your kids are in a battle too? Life can be hard and feel like a battle, but Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 that the war is not against the flesh. It's spiritual.

Every day you wake up in a war zone and you are in a battle right now. But the battle isn't over green beans, dirty socks, or misplaced toys--although getting a child to eat the beans or pick up the socks and toys can sometimes feel like a battle. Every person lives in the war zone but not everyone acknowledges it. The Christian life is a war to stand with Jesus against the evil of the unseen world. It's a spiritual battle, which means our preparations are spiritual. It starts with acknowledging the war and our enemy.

Praying for our kids can be wonderfully fruitful and terribly challenging. At times the hardest part can be knowing what to pray. What if I told you that by adding one simple habit to your day you can increase and improve how you pray for your kids, would you put it into practice? By asking your children two simple questions you can start to fill the gaps in how to pray for them.

A parent, whether they recognize it or not, is always making disciples. Why? How? A core function of discipleship is replication, and children are great at repeating what they experience. This begs the question: what is your child replicating? The mission of every Christ-following parent is The Great Commission. And this mission starts at home.

Children are imitators, sponges, replicators, and more. This includes your grown-up words. If you say it they will likely repeat it...even if you tell them not to. What about your word choices? Are they worth imitating? The time to start asking this question is now.

Roughly 65% of Americans claim to to be Christian, but Christianity is rapidly declining in America. If authentically following Jesus means living out and growing in your faith while making disciples, why the decline? What does this mean for the "Christian" home? Is there a correlation between the decline of those proclaiming Christ and a lack of making disciples of Jesus? We can't simply tell our kids to follow Jesus--they need to see it in our lives.

Screen time. A great level of exposure. Disengaged parents. Overly engaged parents. Less emphasis is put on the church. Fatherless homes. While some circumstances point to this generation having it easier than any previous generation, I strongly believe that the current generation has it harder than any other. In this episode I'll start to unpack why I believe this to be true.

Lent...Do you? Should you? If so, why? There are several disciplines found throughout the Bible, some being: studying God's Word, gathering with other believers, discipleship, prayer and fasting. In my opinion, the last one mentioned in that list--fasting--might be one of the least practiced biblical disciplines. But it is so important. So, as a dad and children's pastor, while Lent something that is biblically mandated, I do believe it is an easy onramp to engage in the practice of fasting and to model this disciple before our children.

It's a question that comes up...a lot. Having gospel-centered conversations with our kids can be scary, overwhelming, and come with unrealistic expectations. None of these have to be true.