the Hunger for Connection

I thought it would be clever to ask you what flavor of person you liked best, but running through the potential answers in my head made it abundantly clear that it would likely turn problematic real quick, so let’s forget I even suggested it, shall we?Flavor is the way our bodies interpret the signals they receive from food, and it’s a helpful tool in figuring out what to eat and what to reject. In a similar way, we process information about the people around us to determine who to draw near and who to push away. That can feel really personal — especially when you’re being rejected by a child you’ve brought into your home.In today’s episode of the Hunger for Connection, we take the idea of flavor and apply it to relationships. When we discover how much of our interpersonal struggles are based in autonomic responses to sensory information, we begin to have more compassion for ourselves and others and learn that healing comes when we recognize the role flavor is having on our hearts and minds.I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me

Is it rude of me to start with such a fancy word? I apologize. What I meant to say was this:You feel what you feel, and you’re feelings are real.Truer words are rarely said - especially by a cartoon reindeer. Believe it or not, he’s speaking solid scientific truth. Your feelings are a very real thing, and they will lead to very real attitudes and behaviors.Your child’s feelings are also very real, and they often motivate them to act in ways that bring about some very, very real feelings inside you as their caregiver. Am I right?How do we care for children with big feelings that cause them even big, baffling behaviors? In this episode of the Hunger for Connection, we dive into the neuroscience of feelings and see how understanding hunger can help us show up with love and compassion for those who need it most in our lives.I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me

Yes, I have kids.No, they haven’t always eaten everything I’ve put in front of them.In spite of all this, I stand by my statement: there is no such thing as a “picky eater.”This is not an argument over semantics but an attempt to understand attitudes and behaviors - both around food and otherwise - in a way that seeks to recognize the Hunger for Connection that is behind them.In today’s episode, we’ll look at the neuroscience of fear and safety and how something really good can make things really difficult - especially when it comes to getting children to eat their blue vegetables (see what I did there?).I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me

Sometimes people get stuck in a certain way of thinking. We see it all the way from international geopolitics down to kiddos refusing to eat their vegetables. It can be challenging to challenge someone else’s worldview - even in seemingly simple, small, harmless ways - in order to help them see the potential for joy and connection can be found when they step outside their box.This is certainly the case when caring for disconnected children. Why is outside-the-box so difficult for them, and how can we care for them in a way that expands their ability to receive compassion?In this episode of the Hunger for Connection, we dive into the neuroscience of small-box thinking and seek ways to help them stretch their boxes bigger.I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me

Yes, I have kids.No, they haven’t always eaten everything I’ve put in front of them.In spite of all this, I stand by my statement: there is no such thing as a “picky eater.”This is not an argument over semantics but an attempt to understand attitudes and behaviors - both around food and otherwise - in a way that seeks to recognize the Hunger for Connection that is behind them.In today’s episode, we’ll look at the neuroscience of fear and safety and how something really good can make things really difficult - especially when it comes to getting children to eat their blue vegetables (see what I did there?).I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me

I did not misspeak… or mistype? Many of the most beneficial foods for you and your child are blue vegetables - at least, that’s what they’d say in ancient Japan.Were they colorblind? No. While the colors we see are the result of light wavelengths interacting with the sensory receptors in the backs of our eyeballs, the way that we interpret those signals are largely learned and formed through culture.In today’s episode of the Hunger for Connection, we once again dive into the science of food and how our bodies experience flavor - including through the eyes! You’ll see how this understanding of perception can open you up to greater empathy and compassion for children having a difficult time dealing with what their bodies are sensing.I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me

The holiday season came and went before I could sit down to record an episode. Election season is over, and the college football season is wrapping up in a few short hours (go Bucks!). The winter season is now upon us, as is a new year and visions for what the future will hold.In our lives as parents, we go through different seasons - and caring for disconnected children can bring with it some dark and difficult periods. Are you looking forward to this year and this next chapter of your parenting journey with hopeful anticipation or guarded concern?In this episode of the Hunger for Connection Podcast, I’ll draw on my own experiences of some tough seasons and give you encouragement routed in the trusted philosophy of the Hunger for Connection. I hope you take value from it, and please share it with a friend.I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me

Do you enjoy watching celebrities recoil in pain as they munch on wings dipped in sauces of increasing degrees of “heat?” Hot they really are not.Your sensory system has an incredible capacity to detect all sorts of various sensations - light, dark, hot, cold, sweet, sour, rough, smooth, heat, and pain. However, it sometimes gets it wrong.Hot foods are a perfect example. In spite of the searing, burning tingle they bring to your tongue, spicy dishes are not in fact “hot,” but your body thinks they are.Today on the Hunger for Connection Podcast, Chef Kibby dives into the neuroscience of hot stuff and the important lesson it can teach us about how a disconnect between the body and the brain can impact the way we show up in relationships.I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me

Refreshments are such a common part of our culture that we don’t often consider just how important a role being fed plays in allowing us to be in better relationship with ourselves and others.Today on the Hunger for Connection Podcast, Chef Kibby dives into the neuroscience of eating and how being refreshed is about more than simply satisfying a craving for chips and guacamole!I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.Be sure to check out all the the Bible Project are creating by visiting https://bibleproject.com— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me

In this turbulent time in our country’s history, it’s easy to get stuck into the us-versus-them mentality - a mentality that can just as easily creep into our parenting.Today on the Hunger for Connection Podcast, join me as I show how seeing the Hunger for Connection in others - including those with whom we disagree politically - can open up hidden stores of empathy and compassion, allowing us to build relationships where it seems next to impossible.I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.Be sure to check out all the the Bible Project are creating by visiting https://bibleproject.com— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me

How is it possible for us to be both hungry and happy, and what does it have to do with the Gospel?In a recent episode of the Bible Project Podcast, Tim and Jon discussed a familiar passage in the Gospel of Matthew that drew my attention — mainly because my understanding of it differs slightly from theirs. I want to share with you my perspective on this section of the Beatitudes and explain why it is important to understand that Jesus is not using a metaphor when He says, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be satisfied.”I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.Be sure to check out all the the Bible Project are creating by visiting https://bibleproject.com — Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me— Chapters —0:00 Intro1:18 Theme1:53 Tim Mackey made a logical presumption6:30 In must be a metaphor… right?7:33 Understand hunger10:47 Understand righteousness13:34 The gospel of connection15:35 God’s story of reimagining our hunger17:22 Applications19:39 Final thoughts

If you’ve ever had a child spin out of control over something seemingly small and insignificant, then you know what it’s like to live in the Distress Cycle.In this installment of the Hunger for Connection, we continue to dig into the meaning of hunger, how it relates to how our children relate to the world around them, and how understanding the Distress Cycle can help us as foster and adoptive caregivers to see our children differently.In the process, you and I will also begin to come to terms with our own tendancies to get caught in the Distress Cycle and how to avoid it.I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me— Chapters —0:00 Intro1:29 Theme2:03 Thanks & leave a review!3:30 Review of the 4 D’s and the cyclical nature of hunger5:23 Returning to infancy and distress7:54 The cycle intensifies12:35 Your distress cycle15:13 Your child can’t feed you18:09 Find the comfort to escape your distress cycle21:09 Closing thoughts

At the intersection of interpersonal neurogastronomy and child development is an insightful truth: none of us were born understanding hunger.That’s not to say we weren’t born hungry or for the capacity to be hungry; hunger is more than simply the discomfort it causes us. In order for hunger to do its job, understanding must be developed — a set of neurological connections formed in relationship that allow us to recognize hunger for what it is and be able to discern how to satisfy it.This perspective holds powerful lessons for those of us who are trying to help kids from hard places to contextualize the discomforts they are feeling in their bodies — whether by the hunger for food or by the Hunger for Connection.I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.Click here to check out the book Neurogastronomy by Gordon Shepherd!— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me— Chapters —0:00 Intro0:33 Theme1:09 A review of neuroplasticity2:28 Discomfort without context5:05 The power of feeding and being fed8:46 The important role of feeding in contextualizing feelings10:46 Kids need help contextualizing their feelings13:56 Struggling to connect with a disconnected child14:51 The context of your own discomfort17:02 Closing thoughts

The first lesson I learned when I began to study the realm of interpersonal neurogastronomy is this: food has no flavor.You may not realize how important this distinction is to understanding our relationship with food, but after listening to this episode of the podcast you’ll also see how much an impact this change in perspective can have on caring for children from hard places.I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.Click here to check out the book Neurogastronomy by Gordon Shepherd!— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on InstagramEmail me— Chapters —0:00 Intro1:17 Theme1:53 Red-pilled by Neurogastronomy4:21 No flavor?8:04 Flavor factor 1: Hard wiring9:43 Flavor factor 2: Soft wiring10:43 Flavor factor 3: Situation / emotional state12:08 All brains are not the same16:47 The flavor of trauma21:45 Closing thoughts

This radically new perspective on trauma-informed care -- one that is also informed by the emerging field of interpersonal neurogastronomy -- was born out of a time of deep personal sadness and the discovery of my own Hunger for Connection.I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.For more about TBRI, visit the Karyn Purvis Institute for Child Development at TCU or listen to the TBRI Podcast.— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on Instagram— Chapters —0:00 Intro0:49 Theme1:24 Bumpy beginnings5:52 Covid changed everything8:04 We began to change12:07 The encounter in the kitchen15:30 Changing perspective22:51 closing thoughts

In this first episode of the Hunger for Connection, you'll learn about the drive for peace that lives within every one of us and how it impacts the way we show up in relationship to one another.You will see how understanding the pursuit of peace as a type of hunger can help you in your pursuit of peace when it comes to caring for children from hard places -- those placed into our homes through foster care or adoption.I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.For more from Dr. Curt Thompson, check out the Center for Being Known or listen to the Being Known Podcast. You can also find his book recommendation on my website.— Connect with me —Visit my websiteBook me to speak at your eventFollow me on Instagram— Chapters —0:00 Intro0:46 Theme1:21 The pursuit of peace3:22 the 4 realms of relationships6:24 the reality of connection8:07 why we pursue peace11:41 how we pursue peace13:29 hunger & the pursuit of peace18:39 why language matters and how the language of hunger can create lasting change22:51 closing thoughts

After hitting that subscribe button, please leave a review wherever you are listing and let me know what you are most looking forward to learning from this podcast. I’d love to know how I can serve you.Learn more about my speaking ministry and how to equip yourself, your church, organization, or ministry by visiting chefkibby.com