The Truth I Could Not See

Welcome to The Truth I Could Not See Bookcast—where I read my book, The Truth I Could Not See, chapter by chapter, sharing the raw and deeply personal journey that changed everything for me.For years, I was consumed by a relentless battle—an eating disorder, crippling mental health struggles, and the devastating loss of my mom. But in the midst of my brokenness, one question refused to be ignored:"What if everything I’ve ever believed is wrong?"Raised in the LDS church, I thought I understood faith. I thought I knew the difference between Christianity and what I had been taught. But life had a way of unraveling those assumptions. Through relationships, loss, and a moment that shook me to my core—when a Christian friend said, "Your Jesus is not the same as mine"—I was forced to wrestle with what I truly believed.Then, in my darkest moment, I had an encounter with the living God—one that shattered my despair and redefined my faith in ways I never saw coming.This bookcast is for those who feel lost, desperate, or questioning everything they’ve known. If you’ve ever struggled with faith, mental health, or simply wondered if there’s something more, join me. You don’t have to walk this road alone.Let’s take this journey together—one chapter at a time.If you would like to purchase a physical copy of the book, find the link in the show notes or head to Amazon and search The Truth I Could Not See.link for book - https://a.co/d/h114NhS

Chapter 23 - The Simple Gospel The gospel is a free gift—available to anyone who comes to Jesus. Yet, we often complicate it, believing we must earn salvation through our efforts. The Apostle Paul warned the Galatians against this distorted thinking, reminding them that righteousness comes by faith, not by works.Jesus' sacrifice established a new covenant, replacing the old laws with one based on love and grace. Just as ancient blood covenants sealed unbreakable bonds, Christ’s blood secured eternal redemption for all who believe. His death wasn’t just a covering of sin—it completely wiped it away.Many of us, like the author, struggle with self-condemnation, thinking we must work harder to be worthy of God’s love. But the truth is, we can never earn salvation—it is given freely through faith in Christ. The gospel is simple: Jesus finished the work. He is the only way to true freedom, redemption, and life.Embrace the simplicity of the gospel. Let go of striving, and trust in the finished work of Jesus.To own a physical copy of this book purchase here: https://a.co/d/7rHLA2sThank you for taking the time to listen!

Chapter 22: The Heart of the MatterIn this episode, we dive into The Heart of the Matter, a chapter that explores the deep, transformative journey of faith. Using the metaphor of an artichoke, I reflect on peeling back the layers of my own misconceptions and struggles, only to realize that true healing and transformation come not from uncovering my own heart, but from connecting with God’s heart.I share my personal wrestlings with old thought patterns, moments of doubt, and the ongoing battle between flesh and spirit. Even after a miraculous encounter with Jesus, the journey of healing and sanctification is a process, one that requires daily surrender and trust. Through scripture, personal experiences, and moments of revelation, we’ll explore what it truly means to experience real life through the real Jesus—the only source of lasting freedom and renewal.Tune in as we unpack the heart of God, the power of truth, and the invitation to step into a life truly worth living.Get book here https://a.co/d/ejvj3yb

Chapter 21: The CostIn this episode, I share one of the most difficult moments of my journey—choosing between my lifelong religion and the undeniable truth of Jesus Christ. After my radical encounter with God, I knew I could never return to the life I once knew, but telling my family was another challenge entirely.With a heavy heart, I wrestled with the cost of following Jesus. Would I be disowned? Misunderstood? Could I bear the disappointment in my father’s voice? Yet, the call was clear: Jesus alone must be my foundation. As I broke the news to my family, I was met with a mixture of love, confusion, and sorrow. Some asked why I couldn’t stay in my faith and still follow Jesus—but I knew He does not share His throne.This chapter is about sacrifice, obedience, and the deep, sometimes painful cost of following Christ. But as I discovered, nothing in this world—no tradition, no approval, no comfort—compares to the freedom and life He gives. Join me as I read through this chapter and reflect on what it means to give everything for the One who gave it all for us.Purchase book here https://a.co/d/gmqFqV8

Chapter 20: Every Thought CaptiveIn this episode, I explore the power of disciplining the mind and the journey to true mental and spiritual freedom. After overcoming the spirit of suicide, I realized that healing wasn’t just about deliverance—it required a daily renewal of my thoughts. The battle was in my mind, and I had to take every thought captive, as Scripture commands.I share how I learned to distinguish truth from lies, challenging years of negative self-talk and deeply ingrained false beliefs. Through prayer, study, and seeking God’s truth, I began to break free from the chains of self-doubt, fear, and false doctrine. My mind, once tormented and chaotic, became a place of peace and clarity as I immersed myself in God’s Word.True freedom is worth fighting for, and in this chapter, I reflect on what it means to step forward, unshackled, and fully embrace the new life Christ offers. This episode is for anyone who struggles with their thoughts, identity, or past beliefs—tune in to hear how God’s truth truly sets us free.Get book here https://a.co/d/isJjHEg

Chapter 19: Lingering SpiritsIn this episode, I dive into the reality of spiritual battles even after salvation. While my encounter with Jesus brought freedom and transformation, I soon realized that lingering spirits from my past still tried to hold me captive. I share my struggles with intrusive thoughts, moments of despair, and the unsettling question: If I’m saved, why am I still being tormented?Through unexpected encounters and the guidance of faithful believers, I learned about spiritual warfare and the authority I now carried in Christ. I discovered the power of calling out and rebuking the spirits that sought to steal my peace, and how true freedom comes from knowing and standing in the truth of Jesus.This chapter is about breaking free from the lies of the enemy and embracing the power of God’s love. If you’ve ever felt trapped in cycles of fear, doubt, or oppression, this episode is for you. Tune in as I share how I learned to fight back and walk in lasting victory.Get book here https://a.co/d/3TqOe4u

Chapter 18: Be of Good CheerIn this episode, I share how my growing relationship with Jesus not only transformed my faith but also brought unexpected healing. For the first time in years, I was free from the struggles that had once consumed me—self-harm, grief, and spiritual confusion. But with this newfound clarity came deep questions: What about my family? Had they truly known Jesus?A powerful encounter with Scripture reassured me that my mother had found Him before she passed away. This moment of divine comfort reshaped my understanding of family and eternity. I realized that the greatest gift isn’t being together forever—it’s being with Jesus forever. True belonging isn’t found in earthly relationships alone, but in knowing and being known by God.Join me as I reflect on this revelation and what it means to be part of God’s eternal family.Buy book here https://a.co/d/jbWjRUG

Chapter 17 - The Gift of JesusAs the holiday season ended, the narrator found herself consumed by her newfound faith in Jesus but unsure how to move forward. Returning to the Mormon Church for the last time on her birthday, January 4, 2009, she experienced an undeniable realization—this was not the Jesus she had encountered. A deep unease settled in as she listened to testimonies and worshiped in a way that felt empty. By the end of the service, she made a life-changing decision never to return.In the following days, the truth of Scripture dismantled her previous beliefs, revealing the sufficiency of Christ’s sacrifice. She had never before questioned the idea that salvation required additional ordinances, but now she saw the fullness of Jesus’ work on the cross. For the first time, she understood that Jesus alone is the way to God—no additional advocates, no restored gospel needed.This revelation reshaped her entire understanding of faith. She realized she had been minimizing the significance of Christ’s ministry and grace. The more she read the Bible, the more she embraced the truth: she was saved by grace alone, not by works, not by church ordinances. Overwhelmed with gratitude, she marveled at the depth of God’s love—a love that had found her in her brokenness and brought her into true freedom.Get book here https://a.co/d/2461KXc

Chapter 16 - A New StartAfter her transformative encounter with Jesus, the narrator experiences a newfound joy and freedom from past struggles. She eagerly dives into the Bible and begins exploring Christian community, despite initial hesitation. When a snowstorm hits Portland, an unexpected invitation to a Christmas party leads her to new friendships and a deeper sense of belonging. Stranded for days due to the weather, she spends time with a group of young Christians, engaging in worship, sharing her testimony, and witnessing authentic faith in action. A connection with Jim, one of David’s roommates, sparks meaningful conversations about faith, reinforcing her belief that these encounters are no coincidence. As she parts ways with her new friends, she realizes God is guiding her toward a new chapter—one filled with grace, community, and an unfolding purpose.Get Book here https://a.co/d/f7PNiro

In Chapter 15, Authority, I share a pivotal moment in my faith journey—realizing that my authority came from Jesus alone, not from any church or man. After my encounter with Jesus, I sought guidance at a Christian church, only to be dismissed by the pastor. In that moment of disappointment, God spoke clearly: I am your authority now; you only go through Me, not through man. This revelation shattered the belief system I had grown up with, where priesthood authority was necessary to access God. I was finally free—no longer dependent on an institution to determine my worthiness. Jesus alone held the power, and through Him, I had direct access to the Father.To purchase book follow this link https://a.co/d/h6o4bsZ

In Chapter 14, Trinity, I share how my encounter with Jesus led me to a deep hunger for the Bible, ultimately bringing me to a profound revelation of the Trinity. As I read about Jesus' crucifixion, I was overwhelmed by the weight of His sacrifice and the depth of His love—something I had never fully grasped before. In a powerful vision, I saw the unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, realizing that they were not separate beings but one God in three persons. This understanding challenged everything I had been taught and opened my eyes to a greater intimacy with God than I ever imagined.Buy book here https://a.co/d/3qt8l9f

In Chapter 13, My Sheep, Hear My Voice, I reflect on my lifelong desire to hear God and my evolving understanding of the Holy Spirit. Growing up in the LDS Church, I believed I had received the Holy Ghost at baptism, feeling His presence in moments of guidance and spiritual experiences. However, everything changed the night I audibly heard God call my name—an encounter that transformed my faith and deepened my relationship with Him. This chapter explores how Jesus promised the Holy Spirit as our Helper and how I came to recognize His voice in a more intimate and personal way.To buy copy of the book look here! https://a.co/d/8cCWtBT

Podcast Episode Summary: Chapter 12 – The EncounterIn this episode, we dive into Chapter 12: The Encounter, a powerful and deeply personal account of a divine moment that changed everything. I reflect on the words of Isaiah 61:1—how Jesus came to bring good news to the brokenhearted, freedom to the captives, and release to the prisoners. At that moment in my life, I was all of these things: burdened by grief, trapped in cycles of self-destruction, and longing for a freedom I couldn’t find.We also explore Saul’s transformation on the road to Damascus, a story that paralleled my own unexpected encounter with Jesus. Like Saul, I thought I had the truth. But everything changed the night I heard a voice call my name—a voice that shattered my fears and filled my room with an undeniable presence. In an instant, I knew: God saved me.From that moment, my understanding of Jesus shifted. The Bible, once familiar but distant, came alive in a way I had never experienced. Love surrounded me, and I felt an insatiable hunger for more of God’s presence. But with this newfound revelation came an unsettling question—what if my long-held beliefs were wrong?Join me as I unpack this life-altering encounter, the overwhelming love of God, and the difficult but necessary journey of wrestling with truth. This is a story of transformation, surrender, and the relentless pursuit of a Savior who meets us in our darkest moments.Don’t miss this episode—it’s one of the most defining moments of my faith journey!Physical copy of the book, get here! https://a.co/d/4jvVkNf

In Chapter 11, Heather reflects on the profound grief of losing her mother while revisiting the impact of past losses. As she confronts her emotions, she grapples with faith, spiritual rebirth, and the meaning of eternal life. Through her journey, she questions long-held beliefs and searches for deeper understanding. The chapter builds to a powerful final moment—her mother’s parting words, “Be of good cheer”—a poignant reminder of hope, love, and resilience even in the face of death.buy book here https://a.co/d/b2OpDWF

Episode Title: "An Unexpected Friend"In this episode, I share a pivotal conversation that challenged my understanding of faith: "Your Jesus is not the same as my Jesus." When a new friend made this bold claim, I was frustrated and confused. Wasn’t Jesus the same for all believers? This chapter takes you through the unexpected friendship that followed, the night I cried out to God for a friend and received an instant answer, and my first experience attending a Christian church service. Tune in as I reflect on how this friendship reshaped my perspective and set me on a path of deeper questioning.Buy book here https://a.co/d/9kqDhxc

Chapter 9: Diagnosis In this chapter, life takes another unexpected turn as I receive the news of my mom’s cancer diagnosis. At first, the updates seem reassuring, but something deep down tells me there’s more beneath the surface. As I struggle with whether to leave Utah, where I’ve finally found stability, or return home to be with my mom, I wrestle with the reality of what truly matters.When I finally decide to move back, I find myself in a season of uncertainty—trying to balance being present for my mom while figuring out my own future. A random job posting leads me to an opportunity I never could have imagined, and in the middle of grief, fear, and change, I experience a moment of divine clarity, showing me that sometimes life’s interruptions are actually leading us exactly where we need to be.Purchase book here https://a.co/d/bNY4jUc

Chapter 8: Unlocking the Past In this chapter, I take you back to a time when I returned to Portland, hoping for a fresh start. I landed a job at a chiropractic office, thinking it would be just another job, but it turned out to be something much more. It was there that I was introduced to a therapy that finally helped me unlock the trauma buried deep in my past.For so long, I had been trapped in cycles of pain, struggling with my eating disorder and desperately searching for healing. But I had never truly faced the root of it all. This therapy began to peel back the layers, forcing me to confront memories and emotions I had pushed down for years. It was uncomfortable, even terrifying at times, but it also felt like the key I had been missing.This chapter is about what happens when we stop running and finally face the pain head-on. It’s about discovering that true healing isn’t just about fixing behaviors—it’s about understanding the wounds that caused them in the first place.Buy book here https://a.co/d/fOVnkrf

Chapter 7: In Search of Healing In this chapter, I take you inside my time at the eating disorder clinic—a place I had hoped would finally give me the breakthrough I so desperately needed. I walked in thinking this was my chance to regain control, to finally fix what felt so broken inside me. But instead, I found myself surrounded by a system that treated the symptoms without addressing the deeper wounds.I share what it was like to be there, the ways it helped, and the ways it didn’t. The weight checks, the structured meals, the therapy sessions—they were all meant to heal me, yet something was still missing. I was following all the rules, doing everything I was told, but I still felt trapped in the same cycle of shame and self-destruction.This chapter is about coming face to face with the reality that healing isn’t just about behavior change—it’s about something deeper. And it’s the beginning of me realizing that the answer wasn’t going to come from another program or another attempt at control. Something greater had to intervene.you can get a physical copy of the book here https://a.co/d/5zCp8wR

In Pandora’s Box, I share how what started as a small decision quickly spiraled into something I could no longer control. At first, binging and purging felt like a secret escape—a way to relieve the pressure, to quiet the noise in my mind, and to regain some sense of control. But instead, it opened the door to something much darker. Like Pandora’s Box, once it was unleashed, I couldn’t just shut it and walk away.This chapter dives into the hidden torment, the shame, and the growing feeling that I was trapped in something I didn’t fully understand. I’ll take you through the thoughts, the justifications, and the slow realization that I was heading down a dangerous path—one that would take years to break free from.Purchase book here https://a.co/d/9LjgPy4

This chapter marks a breaking point in my journey—a moment when the weight of doubt, fear, and inner turmoil became too much to bear. Desperate for control in a world that felt like it was slipping through my fingers, I turned to binging and purging, unknowingly stepping into a cycle that would take years to break. I share the thoughts and emotions that led me down this path, the hidden pain behind my struggle, and the lies I believed about myself, my worth, and what it meant to be enough. This chapter is raw, painful, and honest—but it’s also the moment where my story takes a turn, pushing me toward the deeper questions that would eventually lead me to truth and healing.Buy physical copy of the book here https://a.co/d/1nc0XWv

What does it really mean to be saved? In this chapter, the author unpacks the religious jargon of high school—where "being saved" meant something entirely different in the LDS faith than it did for Christians. As she wrestles with these conflicting definitions, a deeper question emerges: What does salvation truly require?Get a physical copy of the book here https://a.co/d/iitcde2

In this chapter, the author wrestles with a fundamental question: What is the true nature of humanity? Growing up in the LDS church, she was taught that the Fall was a necessary step toward godhood—but the Christian view paints a different picture, one where all are born in sin and separated from God.Through a childhood memory—the first time she told a lie—she begins to question her own nature and what it truly means to be "good."Listen as these foundational beliefs are challenged, revealing a deeper struggle with identity and truth.Buy Book Here https://a.co/d/01Vi9Su

In this chapter, the story shifts back to childhood—to the foundation of belief and identity. The author explores how the family, culture, and circumstances we are born into shape what we accept as truth. How does trauma, environment, and upbringing influence the lens through which we see the world? And what happens when that lens begins to crack?Listen as the journey continues.Buy book here https://a.co/d/01Vi9Su

In this first chapter, you are brought into the moment where everything starts to unravel—the point where she begins questioning everything she has ever known. The certainty she once had is now clouded by doubt, and the mental confusion is overwhelming.This chapter sets the tone for the entire journey—a raw, honest search for truth in the midst of uncertainty.Purchase book here https://a.co/d/01Vi9Su