The Words of Life Podcast

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bgarrenwrites.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bgarrenwrites.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bgarrenwrites.substack.com

I sat in my bedroom with tears streaming down my face. “I just want to do something good,” I whispered to myself. I was fifteen, and I had finally been given the chance to serve on the worship team at church for a Christmas service. It had been the focus of my week ever since I was asked. And I’d love to say that the excitement I felt came from a genuine joy to serve the church and worship God—but the truth was far more sinful. I wanted to be seen. When the church had to cancel the service due to overwhelming sickness, my heart ached—not because the service was canceled, but because I didn’t get to be on stage.I’ve struggled with insecurity my entire life. Ask me about any moment, and I could point to an instant when I felt utterly insignificant and immediately wanted to perform. Even being raised in a strong, biblical household didn’t protect me from looking everywhere but the Bible for answers. My efforts to adorn myself—through doing more, saying more, being funnier, dressing trendier, compromising truth for approval, imitating the popular crowd, posting my “good side” on Instagram, or trying to sound smart—often left me exhausted, wounded, or leaving others neglected.But what’s even more insidious than our desire to be seen by the world is the craving to be seen by the church—for doing “good things.” It’s subtle, passive, and pervasive. And it is pride.Pride That Hides in Plain SightWhen we think of pride, we often imagine arrogance, boastfulness, or self-promotion. But pride can also be passive, anxious, and invisible. It can whisper:* I just want to serve well.* I don’t want anyone to think I’m failing.* I need to be seen as faithful.These statements may sound humble, even noble, but they reveal a heart quietly tethered to human opinion rather than God’s approval. Proverbs 29:25 warns, “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” People-pleasing is a snare—it keeps our eyes on others rather than the One who truly matters.People-Pleasing as Self-FocusAt first glance, people-pleasing seems outward-focused, but in reality, it is inwardly driven. It is pride wrapped in service. Galatians 1:10 asks the piercing question: “Am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?” A people-pleasing heart measures faithfulness by applause rather than obedience. It fears disapproval more than dishonor to God. Even acts of generosity, teaching, or leadership can become subtly self-serving when performed primarily to be admired.Key truth: Pride does not always say, “look at me.” Sometimes it says, “please don’t look at me wrongly.”How People-Pleasing Poisons ServiceThe consequences are quietly destructive:* Avoiding Hard Truths: We shy away from loving confrontation, fearing rejection more than neglecting duty.* Overcommitment and Resentment: We say “yes” constantly to maintain approval, eventually burning out.* Measuring Success by Affirmation: We track fruit by applause rather than faithfulness.* Subtle Self-Centeredness: Even our service can become a mirror for our own image rather than a reflection of Christ.In short, people-pleasing turns the work of ministry, the labor of love, and even the most faithful obedience into a theater for self-validation.Christ, the Only Approval That LiberatesJesus did not manage His image or seek human approval. Even when misunderstood, rejected, or condemned, He obeyed the Father perfectly. Philippians 2 reminds us that Christ humbled Himself, not for recognition, but for the joy of accomplishing the Father’s will. True freedom from people-pleasing is found in resting in the approval of God alone. When God’s approval is sufficient, the opinions of others lose their power.Freedom from the Fear of ManColossians 3:23 exhorts, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” The gospel liberates us to serve not to impress, but to glorify God. When we stop measuring our worth by human affirmation, our service becomes worship once more. Ministry, obedience, and daily acts of love can flow from joy rather than fear, from devotion rather than desire for applause.Closing ReflectionPeople-pleasing is not always loud; it is often subtle, passive, and pervasive. It can creep into our prayers, our preaching, our teaching, and our quiet acts of service. But the gospel calls us to a different posture: freedom to serve faithfully, even if unseen, unrecognized, or misunderstood. When Christ alone is the audience that matters, pride loses its hold, and our service returns to its true purpose—worship of the God who first loved us.When the approval of God becomes sufficient, the opinions of man lose their power—and service becomes worship again. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bgarrenwrites.substack.com