What Was That?

Today I'm interviewing Nathan King, the founder of an epic program called Euphoriam. Nathan is a self made multi millionaire with a really interesting story and a seriously advanced understanding of the quantum, or what you might call 'spirituality'. I particularly respect his grounded and no BS approach to spirituality, what I consider to be an often unnecessarily convoluted arena.SEND ME A QUESTION:[email protected] for this episode are on Youtube! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

In today's episode I talk about this crazy thing that happened with Mario my local security guard that I can't believe. Then I talk about a death threat letter going around my Ecuadorian town and my hair mishap and my take on God, what I think God is and how I feel about God. Crude imagery today because the words were ready to fly out my mouth. SO SORRY about my twisted strap, it's killing me. If you'd like to ask a question, leave a comment or an email at [email protected] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

Welcome to S2 Episode 3. Today I tell a truly pointless story that is so funny to me. The most pointless episode so far, definitely, but rich in wine and enjoyment for you I hope. Story involves Silvio and his cafe, sanduch and a street dog that I know. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

Please welcome my first ever guest to What Was That, Maria Spathis! My therapist! Maria is a Transpersonal Psychotherapist and an absolute legend. Today we have a very candid conversation about therapy, psychology, the heart, the thymus, death and spirituality. We dive into a live therapy session with me as the specimin. If you've never tried therapy, or you're curious about seeing a psychologist, this episode may very much interest you. Check out Maria’s work below.Maria's Website: https://www.spathiswellbeing.com/aboutand enjoy the visual episode on Youtube. I tried uploading video to spotify for S2E1 but I find it cumbersome and I think YT is a better platform. Visuals will live solely on Youtube: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

A meandering swim through concepts of identity that never really gets there. Quite fitting. Today I discuss a bed to bathroom success, waitressing, my fascination with Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain, and what I would do if given a trillion dollars. The mission of my podcast is to alchemise shame and encourage curiosity as an antidote to suffering. Last season I told all of the most taboo stories from my past and got them out of my system. Some episodes were very serious and intense, others were silly. This season I explore communion and my desire is to interact with you and some special guests. THIS WEEKS QUESTION FROM THE WIKILEAKS DOCCY: Have you ever put things too far apart?Ask me a question in the comments or at [email protected] the posse for SECRET EXTRA CONTENT: https://jessicagoodfellow.substack.com/t/the-posse This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

A goose meditation on how absurd moments expose the identities we slowly accept without choosing. How shame, habit, and visibility ultimately govern who we become if we don't intervene.It's the season finale! Today I reflect on what has been left unsaid across the series. I discuss a meeting with a business man, my hangups with the local ice cream parlour and finally remark on where I’m actually at right now with a pretty honest take on why I’ve come to Ecuador. To those who have supported the pod, your receptivity is so deeply felt. Thank you.Now, get involved and send ya emails to:[email protected] your email include either:* Something you wish to say somebody that you never will in real life (voice notes are supreme and note if you want me to anonymise your voice through alteration)* Surprise me* Ask a question or supply a conundrum that you want my two cents on.If you’ve enjoyed the pod so far please share it with a mate, give it a review or join my Substack to stay fully connected:MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! I’ll see you in the new year. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

An unflinching look at how exhaustion, shame, and suppressed truth can emerge as despair and how curiosity can eventually restore coherence.In today’s episode I speak about my confrontation with death energy and a kind of near death experience I had. While this moment was something like an annihilation, it was also the seeding of genuine self compassion and rebuild. Below are some of the resources I discuss in the episode - they are not recommendations, and none of what I say is clinical advice obviously. Reach out, talk to people, take care of yourself, and it will get better.RESOURCES:Psychology: https://www.spathiswellbeing.com/individualsQHHT Sydney: https://www.pastliferegression.net.au/Family Constellations: https://www.discoveringinsight.com.au/family-constellations/Nathan King’s Euphoriam Program: https://www.euphoriam.com/Damien Wynne: https://www.damien-wynne.com/All Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/Lifeline - 24/7 Phone: 13 11 14Beyond Blue - 24/7 Phone: 1300 22 4636QLife - 1800 184 527 qlife.org.au13YARN - 13 92 76 13yarn.org.au This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

An honest exploration of what happens when competence collapses, control stops working, and action becomes the only path back to healing, connection, and self-trust.The themes of proving and performance have followed me around for yonks. After arriving in Brisbane it came time to confront them. Today I discuss my rather measly tenure as a battle dancer and how it became a doorway to stand up comedy, which more or less saved my life. Sorry chat gpt, I’m not calling it ‘The Shape of Waiting’.Incredible psychologist: https://www.spathiswellbeing.com/aboutAs mentioned in the episode, here you can watch gift horse, my beginner comedy special: youtube.com/watch?v=GW_ou_UgowE&feature=youtu.be This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

A tender exploration of attachment, grief, and meaning-making through the story of a childhood doll; tracing how unexpressed loss, family silence, and care displaced onto objects shape who we become.I have perpetually wrangled with the meaning of my Cabbage Patch Doll, Bubby, who I was gifted when I was born. Over the years she held a lot for me, just like I did for my family. Today I navigate the corners of my mind and my odd family constellation, and consider possibilities around why I have obsessively searched for meaning in my life. This episode is a three bagger; yes sir, yes sir, it is three bags full on the ‘emotionally heavy baggage’ scale.I considered it apt to share some visuals. Below you can hear my sister practising piano after high school on my 4th birthday. A pretty accurate depiction of the contrast in the house. Me and my confidant. Shoutouts to Bubby. I hope you enjoy this episode. It’s been surprisingly difficult to work through these stories and decide how I finally want to ‘put them to rest’. The process has been transformative and I thank you for joining me. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

A darkly funny, unsettling meditation on avoidance, indecision, and truth-withheld. Tracing how unclear endings, symbolic attachments, and inherited identity fractures shape the way we belong, love, and speak.Today I venture into the uncomfortable tale of how I ended up with a tattoo on my arm that now represents a friendship breakup. After trying three times to record this episode, I arrived at a profound conclusion and a very satisfying decision. In true number 8 fashion, this episode touches on infinity and feels like a trippy springboard for the next chunk of the season. It might be my favourite episode so far. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

A reflection on how small, unexpected human encounters can quietly alter a life’s trajectory and how kindness, seen late, can reframe years of hardship.In today’s episode I discuss my early days in Barcelona, getting bullied by Spaniards and other inconvenient karmas. I focus on the unexpected magical encounters that occurred along the way. Blessings to two angels starting with A who redirected my path for the better. A multitude of meandering jaunts in this zero bagger. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

A humorous account of an unbelievable seven-year high school love saga. Tracing how anxiety, fantasy, and half-presence can wire lifelong relational patterns, and how the body signals truth long before the mind can name it.Today we trot into the hills to explore an unbelievable experience I shared with my young counterpart aka my high school sweetheart between the ages of 12-19. This connection laid me a strange foundation for relational and social connection but holds an everlasting place in my heart. So does John Mayer, and his song Wheel. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

A reflective elegy for a childhood friendship that ended without drama. Tracing how comparison, difference, and unspoken resentment can slowly erode intimacy, and what it takes to forgive both yourself and the past.Today I venture into my childhood to explore a close friendship that came to an abrupt and curious end. This friendship continues to shape me, and has offered profound insights into concepts of truth, mirror and belonging.Enjoy here or on your regular podcast platform; Spotify, Apple pods etc. If you enjoy, leave a review! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

A light-hearted recounting of a 10-day silent meditation retreat gone awry in Scotland, where a mix of overhydration, rebellion, and eccentric fellow meditators led to a series of comically surreal and oddly formative experiences.Today I tell the tale of the ten day silent retreat where I nearly got kicked out for flashing. I then discuss how shortly after, I got high for the first time under very unusual circumstances. Both events enhanced my ability to be a good friend to myself, and to trust myself to find presence inside of distortion. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

In today's episode I tell you about the dream that changed my life, the time I got my dream job and the reason I lost it. I also expel the most remarkable accidental sound from my human body that you have to hear to believe.After recording this episode I had an epiphany that the dream I'd had was an exact foreshadowing of the event to come. The dangling carrot of my dream job was the identity; the costume I was being fitted for. In the end it was a grindstone, and I had to kill that identity instead. I believe it was my future self telling me to hold steady, and trust that the death would allow me to be free. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

Today we go donut dumpster diving and I tell you an utterly wackadoo story involving two wizard brothers: one good and one, well... strange. Not all turning points are tragic, some are just 'tarded. I'd like to thank old mate and the homie for catalysing my mythic initiation. I wouldn't be here without them. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com

Welcome to my first episode of the series. Today I am discussing, in frank terms, the story of how my gay best friend r*ped me.In my early years my infinite exploration for identity bounds left me socially awkward and obsessed with self-accountability. Eventually, life drew the line for me. This episode explores the nuanced dynamics of an incredibly bizarre and formative trust rupture. It is not a revenge piece nor a trauma recount. It is a truth dive.TW: This episode goes deeply into themes of Sexual Assault. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessicagoodfellow.substack.com