Five Year You

Why You Don’t Feel Good EnoughSo many people walk through life carrying a quiet feeling that they’re somehow falling short. Even when things look successful from the outside, there can still be an internal pressure saying “do more,” “be better,” or “you should be further ahead by now.” In this episode, Andrew and Catherine unpack why that feeling exists, where it often comes from, and how to begin healing it from the inside out.They explore how childhood conditioning, comparison, perfectionism, achievement culture, and societal expectations shape the way we see ourselves. From parenting and relationships to careers, money, and personal growth, the conversation dives into the many ways “not enough” can show up in everyday life.Andrew and Catherine also share how they’ve challenged traditional ideas of success in their own lives by redefining what fulfillment actually means for them. They explain why external achievement can never permanently fix internal self-worth and why true confidence has to be built from within.If you’ve ever felt like you were constantly trying to prove yourself, earn approval, or chase a version of success that doesn’t actually make you happy, this episode will help you pause, reflect, and reconnect with who you truly are underneath the pressure.In This EpisodeWhy feeling “not good enough” is a universal human experienceHow perfectionism and comparison fuel self-worth strugglesThe connection between childhood praise, criticism, and adult anxietyWhy achievement only creates temporary reliefHow societal expectations shape the goals we chaseThe danger of tying your worth to productivity or performanceHow to separate self-worth from external successWhy learning to receive compliments mattersThe importance of resting without guiltHow to stop auditioning for love and approvalQuestions to ask yourself if you constantly feel behindWhat it means to build your life from the inside outMemorable Quotes“No amount of achievement is going to make you feel good enough.”“You were good enough from the start.”“Stop auditioning for love.”“When you can start to embody that feeling of being worthy, your days are going to change.”Resources MentionedThe Layers of Life frameworkFive Year You CoachingPrevious Five Year You podcast episodes on personal growth, identity, and emotional healingConnect With Five Year YouIf this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who may need the reminder that their worth is not something they have to earn.For coaching and resources designed to help you create the next version of yourself, visit: Five Year You Coaching

Hosts: Andrew Dewar & Catherine CollinsIn this episode of Five Year You, we get real about failure, setbacks, and those moments when life just… derails. If you’ve ever asked, “Why is this happening to me?”—this conversation will help you reframe the tough moments and find meaning, strength, and even humor in the mess.👇 Scroll for tools, timestamps, and links!✨ What You'll Learn in This Episode:Why setbacks are a natural part of the growth journeyThe importance of mindset: victim vs. curiosityPractical coping skills for when you’re in the middle of a setbackThe power of contrast daysHow reframing failure helps you become the person you're meant to beParenting wisdom: why we shouldn’t shield kids from failureHow to process big feelings—without getting stuckFanny pack of coping tools (yes, we said that)✅ Helpful Tools & Resources:📱 Opal App – Reduce Screen Time & Reclaim Life🎧 Audible Free Trial – Personal Development on the Go🍳 Instant Pot – Save Time, Eat Well💬 Favorite Quotes:“Setbacks are just bricks in the foundation of your strength.”“If being hard on yourself worked, you'd be happy by now.”“Sometimes a contrast day is exactly what reminds you how good the good days are.”“You don’t need a podcast to use your pain to help someone else.”🌟 Glimmers of the Week:Catherine: Finally making a long-put-off doctor appointment thanks to a little loving push.Andrew: Wearing yellow for the first time and loving the way it feels.📲 Stay Connected:🌐 Website: https://fiveyearyou.com📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou📧 Email: [email protected]⚠️ Disclaimer:This content is for informational purposes only and not intended as a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice. Some links may be affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we may earn from qualifying purchases.💬 Your Turn:What’s a setback that taught you something valuable?Drop it in the comments—we’d love to hear your story.🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe and tap the bell for weekly inspiration.🎧 Available wherever you get your podcasts.#FiveYearYou #OvercomingSetbacks #MentalHealthTools #PersonalGrowth #CopingSkills #LifeLessons #SelfImprovement #Resilience #Podcast #AndrewDewar #CatherineCollins

5 Year You Coaching https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching/If you’ve been feeling like someone else’s success makes you uncomfortable… like you’re comparing more than you want to admit… like certain people just trigger something in you—this episode is for you.Because here’s the truth:Jealousy isn’t something to be ashamed of.And more importantly… it’s not a flaw—it’s feedback.💭 What This Episode CoversWhy jealousy isn’t a “bad” emotion—it’s informationWhat your jealousy is actually trying to show youHow to stop suppressing or projecting jealous feelingsThe hidden beliefs that keep you stuck in comparisonSigns someone else might be jealous of youHow to handle jealousy (yours and others’) in a healthy way🚨 Why Jealousy HappensIt Reveals Your DesiresWhen you feel jealous, you’re reacting to what someone represents.It’s not about them—it’s about what you want.👉 Result: You get clarity on what matters to youLearned Beliefs Create ResistanceIf you believe “rich people are greedy” or “happy people are just lucky,”your brain will block you from becoming those things.👉 Result: You stay stuck wanting what you’ve labeled as “bad”Suppression Turns Into ProjectionIgnoring jealousy doesn’t make it disappear.It shows up later as criticism, resentment, or passive aggression.👉 Result: You push away what you secretly admireComparison Without AwarenessYou compare your life to others without asking why.You feel frustrated—but don’t explore the root.👉 Result: You stay in the loop instead of growing from it😞 The Emotional Cost of JealousyWhen you believe “they have something I don’t,” it creates:insecurityfrustrationquiet resentmentAnd the worst part?👉 You miss the opportunity to turn that feeling into growth⚠️ The Hidden DangerUnchecked jealousy can quietly shape how you see others—and yourself.Examples:Dismissing successful people instead of learning from themMaking backhanded comments to feel betterJudging lifestyles you secretly wantAvoiding growth because it conflicts with your beliefs👉 You block yourself from becoming the very thing you desire🔑 The Truth You Need to HearThere are no “bad” emotionsThere is only informationJealousy doesn’t mean you’re a bad personIt means you’re an honest oneWhat you feel is pointing you somewhereNot holding you back👉 You just have to be willing to look at it🔄 What Jealousy Actually MeansIt means something inside you is waking upIt means you’re noticing what you wantIt means you’re ready for moreThis isn’t something to hide fromIt’s something to learn from👉 It’s the beginning—not the end🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Jealousy” MindsetName It Without ShameInstead of avoiding it, say: “I feel jealous.”That honesty is where growth begins.Get CuriousAsk yourself:What exactly am I jealous of?What does this person represent to me?Challenge Your BeliefsNotice your automatic thoughts:“Rich people are…”“Happy people are…”Rewrite what no longer serves you.Shift From Comparison → PossibilityInstead of “Why them?” ask:“What would it look like for me to have this too?”Watch Your WordsAvoid criticizing or minimizing others.What you say about them often reveals how you feel about yourself.💡 Key TakeawayJealousy isn’t your enemyIt’s your internal compassIt shows you what you wantAnd where you’re holding yourself back👉 Use it as direction—not judgment✨ Glimmers from This EpisodeRealizing emotions are guidance—not something to fearCatching your thoughts and choosing a new perspectiveLetting yourself want more without guiltSeeing growth as something available to you too💬 Final ThoughtThe things that trigger you…are often the things meant for you.Pay attention to what stirs something inside you.It might just be pointing you toward your next chapter.If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

If you’ve been feeling like things finally start going well… and then somehow fall apart… like you can’t stay consistent even when you want to… like you get anxious the moment life feels calm—this episode is for you.Because here’s the truth:You’re not randomly messing things up.And more importantly… you’re not broken.💭 What This Episode CoversWhy you sabotage good things (even when you don’t mean to)The concept of a “happiness ceiling”How your past shapes your comfort zoneWhy calm and peace can feel uncomfortableSigns you’re subconsciously self-sabotagingHow to start shifting your internal “thermostat”🚨 Why Self-Sabotage HappensYour “Familiarity Thermostat”Your mind and body are wired to return to what feels normal—even if it’s stressful or chaotic.👉 Result: When life gets better than your baseline, you unconsciously pull yourself back.Worthiness WoundsSometimes, deep down, you don’t believe you deserve good things.👉 Result: You disrupt what’s going well to match how you feel about yourself.Addiction to StressIf you grew up around chaos or instability, calm can feel unsafe or unfamiliar.👉 Result: You recreate tension because it feels more “normal.”Fear of the UnknownSuccess, peace, or happiness at a new level can feel unpredictable.👉 Result: You retreat back to what you know—even if it’s not what you want.😞 The Emotional Cost of Self-SabotageWhen you believe “this won’t last” or “something bad is coming,” it creates:anxietyoverthinkingself-doubtAnd the worst part?👉 You end up proving your own fears right.⚠️ The Hidden DangerSelf-sabotage doesn’t always look obvious—it often feels justified.Examples:Picking a fight during a great moment“Losing motivation” right when things take offCreating problems that weren’t there before👉 You don’t realize you’re choosing discomfort—you think you’re reacting to reality.🔑 The Truth You Need to HearYou are not behindYou are not brokenYou are not incapableWhat you’re experiencing is conditioning.And that can change.👉 You are allowed to feel safe in good things.🔄 What Self-Sabotage Actually MeansIt doesn’t mean you’re failing.It means:You’re growingYou’re stretching beyond your old identityYou’re entering unfamiliar territory👉 It’s the beginning—not the end🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Self-Sabotage” MindsetNotice the PatternStart catching the moment things feel “too good.”Ask yourself:Is something actually wrong—or just unfamiliar?Name It in Real TimeSay it: “This is my thermostat kicking in.”Labeling it helps you create space instead of reacting.Sit With the DiscomfortLet things be good without interfering.Practice staying in the calm—even when it feels strange.Normalize GoodIf something positive happens—don’t rush past it.Let it sit. Feel it. Get used to it.Raise Your Baseline GraduallyYou don’t need to jump from survival mode to perfect peace overnight.Small shifts create lasting change.💡 Key TakeawayYou’re not sabotaging your life on purpose.You’re regulating back to what feels safe.But safe doesn’t have to mean stressful.👉 You can teach your system that good things are safe to keep.✨ Glimmers from This EpisodeLearning that calm is something you can grow intoRealizing awareness is the first step to changeFinding peace in small, steady progressLetting yourself enjoy when things are going right💬 Final ThoughtMaybe things aren’t falling apart.Maybe they’re finally coming together in a way you’re not used to yet.And maybe…this time…you don’t have to ruin it.If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

If you’ve been feeling like you’re behind… like everyone else is ahead… like you should be further along by now—this episode is for you.Because here’s the truth:Almost everyone feels this way at some point.And more importantly… it’s not actually true.💭 What This Episode CoversWhy the feeling of being “behind” is so commonThe hidden pressure of comparison cultureHow timelines are created (and why they’re not real)The emotional toll of constantly feeling “not enough”How to reconnect with your own pathPractical ways to shift out of the “behind” mindset🚨 Why You Feel Behind (Even When You’re Not)1. Comparison CultureYou’re constantly measuring your life against other people’s highlight reels.Social media shows curated successYou don’t see the trade-offs or strugglesYou compare your reality to someone else’s best moments👉 Result: You always feel like you’re losing2. Invisible TimelinesYou’ve been taught there’s a “right time” for everything:Career milestonesMarriage / kidsBuying a houseFinancial successBut those timelines?They’re learned—not real.3. External Definitions of SuccessYou’ve been conditioned to measure success by:MoneyTitlesStatusPossessionsBut none of these guarantee fulfillment.😞 The Emotional Cost of Feeling BehindWhen you believe you’re behind, it creates:AnxietyPressureRushed decisionsSelf-doubtLow self-worthAnd the worst part?👉 That “catching up” feeling never goes awayThere will always be someone “ahead” if you play that game.⚠️ The Hidden DangerWhen you feel behind…You start making decisions that aren’t actually right for you.Examples:Staying in careers you don’t wantRushing relationshipsBuying things to “keep up”Following paths that aren’t aligned👉 You stop living your life—and start living a timeline.🔑 The Truth You Need to HearYou are not behindThere is no universal timelineLife is not linearPeople peak, pivot, restart, and reinvent constantly👉 You’re not late. You’re just on your own path.🔄 What Feeling Behind Actually MeansThis feeling isn’t a failure.It’s a signal:You’re becoming more self-awareYou want something differentYou’re ready for growthYou’re outgrowing your current situation👉 It’s the beginning—not the end🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Behind” Mindset1. Stop Measuring → Start DefiningAsk yourself:What does success look like for me?What do I actually want?Not what looks good.Not what impresses others.What feels right.2. Zoom OutDon’t compare one area of your life to someone else’s whole life.Look at:Your growthYour experiencesYour strengths👉 When you zoom out, you’ll realize you’re doing better than you think.3. Remove False DeadlinesMost timelines are:Socially constructedArbitraryNot aligned with your life👉 You don’t have to follow them.4. Focus on Direction, Not SpeedProgress isn’t about how fast you go.It’s about:ConsistencyAlignmentIntentional steps forward5. Reconnect With Your PathAsk yourself:What actually matters to me right now?What feels aligned?What do I want—not what’s expected?💡 Key TakeawayYou’re not behind.You’re just:Becoming awareQuestioning old patternsStarting to choose your own path👉 And that’s where everything changes.✨ Glimmers from This EpisodeFinding joy in small wins (like thrifting wins or a sunny walk)Reconnecting with community (like a book club)Appreciating simple moments you once overlooked💬 Final ThoughtYour life isn’t on a clock.It’s on a path.And you’re still on it.If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

🧠 Episode SummaryYou’ve done the work.You’ve built the habits.You’ve pushed through the discomfort.So why does it still feel like you’re not fully that person yet?In this episode, we break down the final (and often hardest) step of personal growth:taking full ownership of who you’ve become.Because becoming the new version of you isn’t about doing more —it’s about deciding you already are that person.🔑 What We Talk AboutWhy you’ll never “feel ready” to become your next versionThe gap between doing vs. beingWhy the “messy middle” feels so uncomfortableFear of success and identity shiftsHow to stop waiting for permissionLetting go of your old storyHow to fully embody your new identity⚡ Key Takeaways1. You Don’t Become Her/Him Later — You Choose It NowYou don’t wait until you feel confident.You decide, today, that this is who you are.“Now is your time to choose to feel like that person.” 2. The Hardest Part Is the Identity ShiftThere’s a gap between:Doing the habitsBeing the personThat gap feels uncomfortable because your brain is catching up to your actions.3. “Trying” Keeps You StuckWhen you say:“I’m trying to be disciplined”“I’m trying to be confident”You reinforce that you’re not there yet.Instead:“I follow through”“I take care of my health”4. You Don’t Need PermissionIf you’re waiting for validation…You’ll stay stuck.Ownership happens when you decide:“This is who I am now.”5. Stop Rehearsing Your Old IdentityEvery time you say:“I’ve always been like this…”“I’m just not that kind of person…”You reinforce the old version.Let it go.6. Make Decisions as Your Future SelfAsk yourself:What would future me do here?What would the version of me I’m becoming choose?Small decisions = identity reinforcement.7. Growth Isn’t a Finish LineThere is no final version of you.There are seasons of:BecomingBeingExpanding againAnd learning to sit in the “being” phase is just as important.🧭 How to Know It’s WorkingYou’ll notice:You trust your decisions fasterYou stop over-explaining yourselfYou recover quicker from setbacksYou feel more calm and groundedIt starts to feel… normalThat’s when it clicks.💭 Powerful Reflection QuestionWhat would it look like to fully own this version of me?🛠️ Want Help Stepping Into Your Next Version?If you’re stuck in the gap and want support:👉 https://www.fiveyearyou.com/coachingWe work with you 2:1 to help you:Break through identity blocksBuild confidenceFully step into your next level✨ Final ReminderYou don’t need another breakthrough.You don’t need more proof.You just need to own who you’ve already become.If you loved this episode, share it with someone who’s in their “messy middle” right now 💫

If you’ve been doing the work, making changes, and still asking yourself…“What if I’m wrong?”This episode is for you.Because one of the hardest parts of growth isn’t starting —it’s staying on the path when doubt shows up.🔗 Ready to go deeper?👉 Coaching: https://www.fiveyearyou.com/coaching💡 What We Talk AboutWhy doubt shows up when you’re actually growingThe myth of certainty (and why you’ll never feel 100% sure)The difference between being off track vs. uncomfortableHow to recognize real signs of alignmentWhy you don’t need external validation to stay on your pathHow to build self-trust without constant reassurance🧠 The Truth About Being “On the Right Path”You don’t get certainty first…You get clarity after you take action.Growth removes predictability — and your brain will resist that.That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.It means you’re doing something new.✨ Signs You’re On the Right Path1. It Feels Calm (Not Chaotic)Even when things aren’t perfect, there’s an internal steadiness.2. Things Start to FlowYou’re not forcing everything — opportunities, people, and ideas start to align.3. You Respect Yourself MoreEven if others don’t understand your choices, you know they’re right for you.4. You Feel More IntentionalYour actions feel aligned with who you’re becoming.5. You Keep Going (Even When It’s Hard)You feel resistance — but it doesn’t stop you.6. You’re Becoming More ConsistentSmall habits start sticking. You show up more often as your future self.⚠️ What People Get WrongBeing on the right path does NOT mean:You feel confident all the timeYou have certaintyYou see immediate resultsOther people understand your decisionsIt’s easyDiscomfort is part of alignment — not proof you’re off track.🔑 The Real ProblemMost people don’t lack direction…They lack tolerance for uncertainty.🛠️ How To Build Self-Trust1. Keep Promises to YourselfSmall daily actions build confidence in who you’re becoming2. Stop Asking Everyone for ApprovalEvery time you seek reassurance, you weaken your own voice3. Trust the Direction (Not the Results)You don’t need proof yet — just momentum4. Track Alignment, Not OutcomesFocus on effort, consistency, and how things feel🔁 Simple Reflection PromptsWhat felt aligned today?Where did I trust myself?What small step did I take forward?What nudges or signs did I notice?🌱 Key TakeawayYou don’t need full certainty to be on the right path.You just need:➡️ A direction that feels aligned➡️ The courage to keep going➡️ And the willingness to trust yourself💫 GlimmersCatherine:First garage sale + thrifting day of the season 🛍️Andrew:Finding small signs of alignment (like his “dime moments”)If this episode helped you, share it with someone who’s questioning their path right now 💫

👉 Work with us 1:1 (Coaching):https://www.fiveyearyou.com/coachingIf you’ve ever struggled to say no, felt guilty for prioritizing yourself, or found your growth slipping because of other people’s expectations… this episode is for you.Boundaries are one of the most important — and hardest — parts of becoming your future self.Because growth doesn’t stick without protection.💡 What We Talk AboutWhat boundaries actually are (and what they’re NOT)Why boundaries feel so uncomfortable (especially with people you love)The hidden cost of people-pleasingHow lack of boundaries pulls you back into your old identityWhy guilt shows up when you start setting boundariesThe connection between boundaries, confidence, and self-trust🧠 What Boundaries Really AreBoundaries are not:PunishmentControlRejectionA wallBoundaries are:Self-respectProtection of your time, energy, and identityA way to stay aligned with who you’re becomingAn act of love toward yourself⚠️ Why Setting Boundaries Feels So HardBecause it challenges:Your desire to be likedYour fear of conflictYour identity as “the nice one”Your fear of rejection or disappointing othersAnd most importantly…It often involves the people closest to you.💸 The Cost of NOT Setting BoundariesWithout boundaries, you lose:TimeEnergyClaritySelf-trustControl over your lifeEvery time you abandon a boundary, you reinforce your old identity.🔑 The 4 Types of Boundaries You Need1. Time BoundariesProtect your schedule and prioritiesExamples:Not overcommittingHaving a cutoff time for work or communicationLeaving on time2. Energy BoundariesProtect your emotional and mental capacityExamples:Limiting draining conversationsReducing exposure to negativity (people, news, social media)Choosing when you engage3. Access BoundariesDeciding who gets access to youExamples:Not always being availableDelaying responsesChoosing who you engage with4. Identity BoundariesProtecting who you’re becomingExamples:Not engaging in old habitsLetting go of outdated labelsSpeaking differently about yourself🛠️ Simple Boundary Phrases You Can Use“No.”“No thanks.”“That doesn’t work for me.”“I’m not available for that right now.”“I don’t have the capacity for that today.”“I’m keeping things simple this week.”✨ Reminder:You don’t need to over-explain or justify your boundaries.⚡ What Happens When You Set BoundariesSome people will adjustSome people will resistAnd that’s okay.People who resist often benefited from you not having boundaries.🔁 Key Mindset ShiftGuilt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.It means you’re doing something different.🔥 The Big QuestionWhat boundary can you set todaythat protects your future self?✨ Final TakeawayYour future self isn’t just built by what you do…It’s protected by what you no longer allow.💫 GlimmersCatherine:First warm day of the year — sunshine, no jacket, and a peaceful walk ☀️Andrew:Having Catherine back after a solo episode 🙌If this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs permission to choose themselves today.

Apply for Coaching:https://fiveyearyou.comFeeling anxious and need it to stop… fast?In this solo episode, Andrew breaks down exactly what’s happening in your body during anxiety — and gives you simple, practical tools to calm it down in real time.No overcomplicated strategies.No “just think positive” advice.Just real, science-backed ways to regulate your nervous system and feel better quickly.If you’ve ever:• Felt tightness in your chest, throat, or stomach• Experienced racing thoughts you can’t shut off• Needed immediate relief from anxiety• Tried to “think your way out” and it didn’t workThis episode will give you a step-by-step reset you can use anytime.WHAT WE COVER:• Why anxiety feels so intense and urgent• The fight-or-flight response explained simply• Why you can’t think your way out of anxiety• The difference between real danger and perceived threat• How your nervous system creates anxiety loops• Why awareness is the first step to calming downHOW TO CALM ANXIETY FAST OPTIONS:Breathe (First Always)Inhale for 4 secondsExhale slowly for 6–8 secondsRepeat for 1–3 minutesMove Your BodyWalk, shake your hands, jump, or change environmentsRelease the built-up energy in your systemGround YourselfTry the 5-4-3-2-1 method or name objects around youRemind your brain: “I am safe right now”Reframe Your ThoughtsAsk yourself:• What actually happened?• What am I imagining?• What evidence do I have?KEY TAKEAWAYS:You don’t calm anxiety by thinking your way out.You calm it by regulating your body first.Anxiety is not a sign something is wrong with you.It’s your body trying to protect you.The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety —It’s to learn how to move through it faster.TRY THIS:Create your own “Anxiety Reset Routine”:• Breathe• Move• Ground• ReframePractice it when you’re calm so it’s easier to use when you’re not.NEXT EPISODE:How to Set Boundaries (Without Triggering Anxiety)Because growth and boundaries often go hand in hand.Connect With Us:Website & Coaching:https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram:https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouEmail:[email protected] this episode helped you, share it with someone who needs a reset today.You’re not broken.You’re human.And you can bring yourself back to calm. 💛

How to Stop SpiralingWe’ve all been there.You say something awkward…You replay a conversation over and over…You start imagining worst-case scenarios…And before you know it, your brain is running a full disaster movie.In this episode, we’re talking about what spiraling really is, why your brain does it, and how to stop it before it takes over your entire day. how-to-stop-spiralingIf you’ve ever found yourself stuck in anxiety loops, catastrophizing about small moments, or doubting yourself after an interaction, this episode will give you practical tools to break the cycle.In This EpisodeWe discuss:• What “spiraling” actually is and why it happens• How your nervous system searches for threats when you feel unsafe• The connection between triggers and anxiety loops• Why growth and personal development can make spiraling more likely• How spiraling can pull you back into old habits and behaviors• Practical ways to calm your nervous system when a spiral starts• Questions to ask yourself to separate fear from realityWhat Causes SpiralingSpiraling usually starts with a triggering moment.Something small happens—an awkward interaction, criticism, or uncertainty—and your brain begins trying to predict every possible threat.Your nervous system enters hyper-arousal, and suddenly you may experience:• Racing thoughts• Catastrophizing• Self-doubt• Emotional replays of past events• Fear of rejection or losing belongingYour brain isn’t broken.It’s trying to protect you.Signs You’re SpiralingYou might notice yourself:• Replaying conversations repeatedly• Assuming the worst-case scenario• Questioning your identity or decisions• Over-analyzing someone else’s reaction• Feeling tense or physically activated• Doubting your progress or growthSpiraling often happens when you’re trying something new or growing, because new behavior creates vulnerability.How to Stop a SpiralAndrew shares three immediate ways to interrupt a spiral.1. Interrupt the Loop PhysicallyChange your environment or body state.Try:• Standing up and moving rooms• Walking outside• Splashing cold water on your wrists• Cooling the back of your neckYour body needs to calm before your mind can.2. Slow Your BreathingSpiraling causes shallow breathing.Reset your nervous system with slower breaths.Try:• Box breathing• A deep inhale through the nose• A small “sip” inhale• A long, slow exhaleLonger exhales signal safety to your nervous system.3. Name the SpiralSimply say:“I’m spiraling right now.”Labeling the experience reduces emotional intensity and helps your brain step out of the loop.Separate Fear From FactsOnce your body is calmer, ask yourself:• What is actually happening?• What am I assuming?• What evidence do I have?• What story am I telling myself?Most spirals are built on assumptions, not facts.Anti-Spiral HabitsTo prevent spirals long-term:• Pause before reacting• Give your brain 7 seconds to process• Talk to a trusted person for a reality check• Journal your thoughts instead of replaying them• Protect your boundaries during personal growthRemember: every thought you have is not the truth.Key TakeawaySpiraling doesn’t mean you’re failing.It usually means you’re stretching into something new.Growth creates vulnerability.Vulnerability can trigger anxiety.But awareness helps you break the loop.You don’t need to eliminate spiraling completely.You just need tools to recognize it and move through it faster.Glimmers of the WeekAt the end of every episode, we share something bringing us joy.Cat’s Glimmer:Getting unexpected one-on-one time with her daughter during a week off from swimming.Andrew’s Glimmer:Going to a Winnipeg Jets game with his dad and son.Small moments of joy matter.Next EpisodeNext we’re talking about:The Boundaries That Protect Your GrowthBecause becoming your future self often requires protecting your energy and your progress.

Episode OverviewYou decided to grow.You set goals.You changed habits.You started becoming the next version of yourself.And then… the people around you got uncomfortable.In this episode, Andrew and Cat talk about what happens when the people closest to you don’t support your growth — and why this is one of the hardest (and most normal) parts of personal development.If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, judged, teased, or quietly pressured to “go back to who you were,” this episode will help you navigate that tension with clarity, compassion, and strength.Why Growth Disrupts RelationshipsGrowth doesn’t just change you — it changes your dynamics.Relationships are built on patterns. When you shift your behavior, identity, or boundaries, the pattern breaks. And breaking patterns requires adjustment from everyone involved.Common reasons people resist your growth:Your change highlights their stagnationThey fear losing the version of you they knewYour growth forces them to self-reflectThey feel left behindThe relationship feels less predictableIt’s rarely about malice.It’s usually about discomfort.What Happens Inside YouWhen others resist your growth, you may:Feel guiltyWant to shrink backOver-explain your decisionsProtect their feelings at your own expenseQuestion whether you’re doing the right thingYou might notice it physically:Tight chestKnot in your stomachLump in your throatUrge to justify yourselfThat awareness is growth.What NOT to Do❌ Don’t Over-ExplainYou don’t owe anyone a PowerPoint presentation on your life choices.❌ Don’t Argue or DebateYour growth doesn’t need to win a courtroom case.❌ Don’t Shrink to Make Others ComfortableDimming your light to keep peace eventually builds resentment.❌ Don’t Force Others to Join YouYou can’t drag someone onto a growth journey. You can only lead by example.What TO Do Instead✅ Stay ConsistentConsistency builds quiet confidence.✅ Let Your Actions SpeakEmbodiment is more powerful than announcements.✅ Expect DiscomfortGrowth without friction isn’t growth.✅ Use DiscernmentNot all pushback is insecurity. Some feedback is care expressed imperfectly.✅ Grieve What ChangesIf relationships shift, it’s okay to feel sad about it.Growth sometimes requires release.Feedback vs. ResistanceNot all resistance is negativity.Sometimes:Grandma is worried about your diet because she loves you.A friend questions your workload because they’re concerned.A parent warns you because protection is their love language.Discernment matters.Ask:Is this coming from care or insecurity?Is there truth here?Or is this about their discomfort?The Hard TruthYour growth may cost you:Old dynamicsCertain friendshipsPredictabilityApprovalBut it gives you:AlignmentSelf-respectEmotional maturitySpace for better relationshipsRejection can be protection.Reflection QuestionsWhere am I shrinking myself to keep the peace?Whose opinion do I fear most when I change?Am I seeking alignment or approval?What would staying fully grounded look like here?Key Reminder From This EpisodeYou don’t need everyone to understand you.You just need to understand yourself.Thrift Find of the WeekA thrift haul that unexpectedly exploded on Instagram — reminding Andrew and Cat that doing what makes you genuinely happy tends to resonate the most.Glimmers of the WeekGrowth in their thrift content account (because joy compounds).Signs of spring arriving in Chicago.The reminder that authenticity works better than trying to “crack the algorithm.”What’s Coming NextNext episode:How to Stop SpiralingBecause when people don’t support your growth, it’s easy to get in your head. We’ll talk about how to ground yourself and stop the mental spiral before it takes over.Connect With Five Year YouWebsite & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice.

You started strong.You were motivated.You were clear on who you wanted to become.And then… it got uncomfortable.In this episode, Andrew and Cat walk through what actually happens after the excitement of change fades — when reality hits, resistance shows up, and consistency feels harder than you expected.This is the messy middle.If you’re building your Five Year You and feel like quitting, this episode will normalize the discomfort, explain what’s happening neurologically, and give you practical strategies to stay the course.Why Change Feels So HardWhen you try to change your habits, you’re not just changing behavior — you’re challenging your identity.Your nervous system prefers familiar patterns. Even if your old patterns weren’t ideal, they were predictable. And your brain is wired for safety, not growth.So when you:Wake up earlierSet new boundariesStart eating differentlyLaunch a businessSpeak up differentlyYour brain sounds the alarm.Discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.It means you’re doing something new.The 4 Types of DiscomfortEmotional DiscomfortGuilt, doubt, awkwardness, imposter syndrome.Social DiscomfortPeople reacting to your changes. Feeling misunderstood.Internal DiscomfortThe voice that says: “Who do you think you are?”Physical DiscomfortFatigue, soreness, brain fog while building new neural pathways.All of this is normal.Why Most People QuitConsistency doesn’t fall apart because you lack discipline.It usually happens when:The excitement fadesResults aren’t immediateOld habits start calling you backYou hit the “identity dip”The identity dip is the space between who you were and who you’re becoming.The beginning is exciting.The end is rewarding.The middle is messy.That messy middle is where growth actually happens.The Real Key to ConsistencyIt’s not intensity.It’s not perfection.It’s not even discipline.It’s emotional tolerance.Can you tolerate:Doubt?Delay?Frustration?Being misunderstood?Not seeing results yet?The people who stay consistent aren’t perfect — they just return faster.How to Stay the Course1. Drop the Perfection StandardAsk yourself:What would 5% consistency look like instead of 100% perfection?2. Increase Your Return SpeedMissing is normal.What matters is:How quickly you come backHow fast you re-anchor to your identityMiss one.Try not to miss two.Always return.3. Expect ResistanceAnticipate it.Prepare for it.When resistance shows up, you’ll recognize it instead of panicking.4. Anchor to Your WhyWrite it down.Revisit it daily.Visualize your Five Year You.The clearer the vision, the easier the consistency.5. Celebrate the “Boring Wins”Consistency feels unexciting because it’s repetitive.But your future self is built in quiet, repeated actions — not dramatic breakthroughs.Celebrate:The workout you didn’t skipThe boundary you heldThe sugar you didn’t eatThe sale you madeThe morning you showed upEvery swing at the rock matters.Powerful Reminders From This EpisodeDiscomfort doesn’t mean you’re off path.The middle is supposed to feel messy.Your identity is updating.Consistency is about staying the course.You are not behind.You are becoming.Thrift Find of the WeekA $3 Janessa Leoné hat valued around $500 — found in 10 minutes between swim practice and workouts. (Because dopamine doesn’t have to be expensive.)Glimmers of the WeekCat: Watching their daughter win first place at a swim meet after consistent effort.Andrew: Getting back into the studio and celebrating small progress (and barbecue motivation).What’s Coming NextNext episode:What to Do When Other People Don’t Support the New YouBecause change doesn’t just challenge you — it challenges the people around you.Connect With Five Year YouWebsite & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice.

Most people think they need more discipline to build better habits — but in this episode, Andrew and Cat explain why habits actually work best when they’re aligned with identity, not willpower.This conversation breaks habits into five simple, powerful categories that support your nervous system, protect your energy, build self-trust, and reinforce who you’re becoming. Instead of overwhelming routines or perfection-driven checklists, this episode offers a framework for habits that feel sustainable, human, and realistic.If you’re building your Five Year You, this episode gives you the structure to do it without burnout or shame.the-5-habit-categories-that-ali…The 5 Habit Categories Explained1. Self-Trust HabitsThese habits rebuild your relationship with yourself.Keeping small promises you make to yourselfStarting when you say you’ll startChoosing habits you can keep even on hard daysLearning to become accountable to you, not just othersSelf-trust is the foundation of every other habit.2. Regulation HabitsThese habits stabilize your nervous system so habits can actually stick.Breathwork and pauses before reactingEmotional regulation during stress or frustrationCreating calm in a world designed to overwhelmReducing emotional reactivityYou can’t build your future self from a constantly dysregulated body.3. Identity-Confirming HabitsThese habits reinforce who you are becoming.Writers writeMovers moveHealthy people make health-aligned choicesEven tiny actions count. Every repetition sends your brain the message: This is who I am.4. Boundary HabitsThese habits protect your time, energy, and peace.Saying no without over-explainingReducing people-pleasing behaviorsLetting go of habits, relationships, or patterns that drain youLearning that what you tolerate teaches others how to treat youBoundaries are often the hardest habits — and the most transformative.5. Reflection HabitsThese habits turn experience into wisdom.Daily or weekly reflectionAsking why something felt hard or offNoticing patterns instead of judging themCourse-correcting with compassionReflection keeps you conscious instead of reactive.Key TakeawaysHabits are not about perfection — they’re about alignmentSmall habits compound faster than dramatic overhaulsRegulation comes before disciplineBoundaries often matter more than adding new habitsConsistency builds identity, not intensityReflection turns mistakes into growthQuotes from the Episode“You don’t need to overhaul your life — you need habits that gently introduce your future self into the present one.”“You can’t build a future self from a constantly overwhelmed nervous system.”“What you tolerate teaches others how to treat you — and teaches you who you are.”How to Get StartedChoose one habit categoryPick one tiny habitLet consistency beat intensityRebuild self-trust slowlyBegin again without shameGlimmers of the WeekCat: Walking more, thrifting wins, and seeing their son experience the joy of reselling his first item.Andrew: Finding rare thrift treasures — including Brioni and Hermès ties — and the thrill of small, unexpected wins.What’s Coming NextIn the next episode, Andrew and Cat talk about how to stay consistent when change feels uncomfortable — and why most people stop right before things start working.Connect with Five Year YouWebsite & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice. Some links mentioned may be affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20, Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

In this episode, Andrew and Cat explore why habits aren’t really about discipline, motivation, or willpower — they’re about identity.Instead of white-knuckling routines or beating yourself up when habits don’t stick, this conversation reframes habits as small, daily votes for the person you’re becoming. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep falling off routines you want to maintain, this episode offers a gentler, more sustainable way forward.Rather than asking “Why can’t I stick to habits?”, Andrew and Cat invite you to ask a different question:“Who am I becoming?”the-daily-habits-that-align-you…What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhy habits fail when they’re rooted in pressure instead of identityHow identity change naturally creates behavior changeThe difference between motivation and momentumWhy “future you” should be a mentor — not a criticHow small, imperfect habits compound into real transformationWhy consistency matters more than intensityHow to stop labeling yourself as “lazy” or “undisciplined”Why habits should feel honest, not impressiveKey Concepts DiscussedHabits Follow IdentityYou don’t become someone after you do the habits — you become someone by doing them.Motivation Comes After ActionYou don’t wait to feel motivated. You act first, and motivation follows.Small Habits Build Self-TrustEvery tiny habit you keep is a vote for the future version of you.Future You Is Cheering — Not JudgingHabits stick when your future self feels like a guide, not a taskmaster.Aha Moments & Quotes“You can’t change behavior without changing identity.”“Every habit is a vote for the person you’re becoming.”“Your future self isn’t built on your best days — it’s built on your normal ones.”“Do the habits that feel honest, not the ones that feel impressive.”“Small habits don’t look powerful — until they are.”Practical TakeawaysStop trying to overhaul your life all at onceChoose habits you can repeat on your worst daysAsk: Would future me appreciate this?Focus on being someone who moves, not someone who “exercises perfectly”Let habits be snack-sized and sustainableWhen you miss a day, simply begin again — no shame requiredHomework for ListenersVisualize your Five Year YouName them if it helps (seriously!)Ask: What does this version of me do consistently?Choose one small habit that aligns with that identityPractice consistency — not perfectionGlimmers of the WeekCat:A cozy heated blanket on a cold Chicago day — comfort, warmth, and slowing down.Andrew:Seeing The Offspring live with his son — connection, nostalgia, and joy through shared experiences.What’s Coming NextIn the next episode, Andrew and Cat break down the five core habit categories that align with your future self — offering a clear framework for choosing habits that actually stick.Connect With Five Year YouWebsite & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: @fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or financial advice. Some episodes may reference tools, books, or resources that include affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20, Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

In this episode, Andrew and Catherine dive into one of the most common (and confusing) questions people face during personal growth: Who am I actually becoming?If you feel like something needs to change but you can’t quite name what, you’re not broken — you’re lacking clarity, not motivation. This conversation walks through how to identify the quiet clues your future self is already giving you, how to separate who you are from who you were taught to be, and how to decide who you are without pressure, panic, or blowing your life up.Key Topics CoveredWhy most people don’t change because of lack of clarity, not lack of motivationThe difference between being “lost” and being ready for alignmentHow societal expectations shape identity without us realizing itWhy clarity doesn’t come from big decisions — it comes from noticingLearning to listen to your internal voice instead of outside noiseHow your body signals alignment vs. resistanceWhy future clarity feels calm, not urgent or euphoricThe danger of confusing clarity with certaintyHow opting out of societal scripts creates freedomWhat childhood interests reveal about your natural wiringFollowing energy instead of forcing ambitionWhy discomfort is one of the best sources of informationHow to explore identity without needing a full planWhy this process should feel exciting, not heavyActionable TakeawaysAsk yourself: Who taught me who I should be?Notice what repeatedly energizes you — that’s data.Pay attention to what drains you — that’s data too.Look for patterns, not lightning-bolt realizations.Revisit what you loved as a child without judgment.Separate identity from labels and job titles.Stop waiting for certainty — clarity comes through movement.Take one small step toward what feels aligned.Let calm be your compass, not urgency.Treat this process as exploration, not a test.Quotes from the Episode“You’re not lost — you’re just listening inward for the first time.”“Clarity doesn’t feel urgent. It feels calm.”“Your future self is already leaving clues in your life.”“You don’t need a full vision — you just need the next honest step.”Glimmers of the WeekCatherine: A surprise thrifting connection that turned into an unexpected, generous wardrobe handoff and a reminder of how aligned energy attracts aligned experiences.Andrew: Relief from long-term jaw pain after a breakthrough physical therapy session — and the gratitude that comes with living without constant pain.What’s NextIn the next episode of the Five Year You series, Andrew and Catherine explore how to build habits that align with the person you’re becoming — without forcing discipline or burning out.Connect with UsWebsite: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouTikTok: https://tiktok.com/@fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice. Some links may be affiliate links.

Hosts: Andrew Dewar & Catherine CollinsEpisode OverviewReinvention doesn’t have to mean blowing up your life, burning bridges, or starting from zero. In this episode, Andrew and Catherine talk about how real, sustainable change actually happens — slowly, intentionally, and with respect for the life you’ve already built.If you’ve ever felt called to become a new version of yourself but feared what it would cost your relationships, career, or sense of safety, this episode is for you. You’ll learn how to release old identities gently, navigate fear without letting it run the show, and grow in a way that feels stable instead of chaotic.Key Topics CoveredWhy reinvention feels so scary (and why that’s normal)The difference between dramatic change and sustainable growthHow fear and safety keep us attached to old identitiesWhy “burn it all down” reinvention is mostly a mythHonoring the version of you that got you hereSeparating identity from behaviorHow to evolve without erasing yourselfWhy small, incremental change is more powerful than radical overhaulsNavigating relationship friction when you start changingSetting quiet boundaries without over-explaining yourselfAllowing grief and excitement to coexist during growthHow to know if your reinvention is actually alignedActionable TakeawaysAcknowledge your current identity — it helped you survive and get here.Start with 1% changes, not dramatic life explosions.Replace control with structure, not rigidity.Separate who you are from what you do — habits can change without self-rejection.Expect some discomfort, especially in relationships, and allow time for adjustment.Let your boundaries be quiet — not everything needs an announcement.Notice calm as a signal that you’re changing in the right direction.You’re allowed to grow gently, safely, and on your own timeline.Quotes from the Episode“Good is the enemy of great — and most people stay stuck because great feels unsafe.”“You can evolve without erasing yourself.”“Reinvention doesn’t have to be dramatic to be real.”“You don’t have to burn your life down to build something better.”Glimmers of the WeekCatherine: Snow days, quiet cocoon time, and permission to stay in without guilt.Andrew: A solo day, thrifting, and embracing personal growth without rushing it.What’s NextIn the next episode of the Five Year You series, Andrew and Catherine dive into how to get clear on the person you’re becoming — and how to stop guessing your way through change.Connect with UsWebsite: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouTikTok: https://tiktok.com/@fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice. Some links may be affiliate links.

Absolutely — here are podcast-formatted show notes for“Why Starting Over Feels So Scary”, using your classic Five Year You podcast format (clean headings, readable sections, perfect for Apple Podcasts / Spotify / website).Five Year You PodcastEpisode Title: Why Starting Over Feels So ScaryHosts: Andrew Dewar & Cat CollinsEPISODE OVERVIEWStarting over sounds inspiring… until you actually think about doing it.In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack why the idea of starting over triggers so much fear — even when you knowsomething in your life needs to change. They explore the psychology behind fear, identity attachment, sunk cost, and why staying stuck often feels safer than stepping into the unknown.If you’ve ever felt called to a new version of yourself but found yourself frozen, overthinking, or staying where you are out of fear — this episode will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.WHAT WE TALK ABOUT• Why fear shows up right before growth• How fear is designed to keep you safe — not fulfilled• The difference between familiar pain and unfamiliar possibility• The sunk cost fallacy and why it keeps people stuck• Fear of losing your identity when you change• Why being a beginner again feels threatening• Fear of judgment and disappointing others• Why staying stuck has a cost — even if it feels “safe”• How time will pass whether you change or not• Why curiosity is a more powerful guide than certainty• How to explore change without burning your life downKEY INSIGHTS• Fear doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path — it means you’re at the edge of growth• You don’t need clarity to start; clarity comes after movement• Nothing you’ve done is wasted — every version of you counts• Familiar discomfort often feels safer than unfamiliar freedom• You’re allowed to evolve without having all the answersPRACTICAL REFRAMES• Fear is information, not a stop sign• You don’t have to commit to change — you can simply get curious• Starting over doesn’t mean erasing your past• Small steps are safer for your nervous system than drastic movesGLIMMERS OF THE WEEKCat: Enjoying small moments of self-expression and self-care, including makeup and nails that felt playful and grounding.Andrew: Finding a pair of Air Jordans while thrifting — a reminder that joy and healing can come from unexpected places.WHAT’S NEXTIn the next episode, Andrew and Cat explore:“How to Let Go of Who You Used to Be Without Burning Your Life Down”Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss it.WORK WITH USLearn more about coaching and upcoming programs:https://fiveyearyou.com/coachingCONNECT WITH USWebsite: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] this episode resonated, share it with someone who’s quietly considering a new beginning.Fear doesn’t mean stop — it means something new is trying to emerge.

Have you ever felt an internal pull toward something more—even though your life looks “fine” on the outside?In this episode, Andrew and Cat explore the quiet but powerful feeling many people experience when they’re ready for growth: the sense that the current version of yourself no longer fits. This conversation unpacks why this feeling shows up, what it actually means, and how to listen to it without burning your life down.This episode is about identity shifts, alignment, and understanding that wanting more doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful—it means you’re evolving.Key Topics CoveredWhy feeling unsettled is often a sign of growth, not failureThe difference between wanting to escape and wanting to alignWhy adults lose permission to explore new versions of themselvesHow future-self awareness begins before actionWhy growth can feel uncomfortable even when it’s rightHow fear shows up when your identity starts to changeWhy imagining a future version of yourself is meaningfulLetting go of outdated goals, habits, and identitiesWhy growth doesn’t require drastic life changesActionable TakeawaysNotice the Nudge – Pay attention to feelings of restlessness or misalignment instead of suppressing them.Name What’s Changing – Ask yourself what no longer fits instead of what’s “wrong.”Release the Pressure – Growth doesn’t require immediate action or dramatic decisions.Honor Both Truths – You can be grateful for your life and still want more.Think in Small Shifts – Identity change happens through awareness and micro-adjustments over time.Key Quotes“You don’t imagine a future version of yourself unless you’re meant to move toward it.”“Wanting more doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re ready.”“This isn’t about starting over. It’s about alignment.”Reflection QuestionsWhat feels outdated in my life right now?What part of me is asking for growth or expansion?If I trusted this calling, what might it be pointing me toward?Glimmers of the EpisodeAndrew reflects on recognizing subtle internal shifts before big changes.Cat shares the relief that comes from realizing growth doesn’t have to be dramatic or destructive.Continue the JourneyThis episode begins the Five Year You series.Next Episode:Why Starting Over Feels So Scary (And What Staying Stuck Is Really Costing You)Work With UsCoaching and resources available at:https://fiveyearyou.com/coachingConnect With Five Year YouWebsite: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected]:This podcast is for informational purposes only and does not substitute professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. Some links may be affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.

Why Resolutions Don’t StickEvery year, millions of people set New Year’s resolutions — and by mid-January, most of them feel frustrated, discouraged, or convinced they’ve failed. In this episode, Andrew and Cat break down why resolutions so often fall apart, why it’s not a personal flaw, and what actually works if you want real, lasting change.This conversation is about releasing shame, understanding how your brain and nervous system work, and building habits that support who you’re becoming — not punishing yourself into change.In this episode, we talk about:Why most resolutions fail by designHow going “too big, too fast” overwhelms your nervous systemThe difference between goals driven by shame vs. excitementWhy motivation doesn’t come first — action doesHow identity-based habits outperform willpowerWhy systems matter more than motivationHow overwhelm leads to avoidance and freeze modeWhy rest and flexibility are part of consistencyWhy resolutions usually don’t work:They’re too vague (“get healthy,” “be better,” “lose weight”)They’re rooted in self-criticism instead of careThey rely on motivation instead of systemsThey ignore real life stress, illness, and bad daysThey don’t account for who you actually areWhat actually works instead:Start smaller than feels necessaryTiny, achievable actions build momentum. Big goals still matter — but they must be broken into bite-sized steps your brain can handle.Create systems, not rulesMotivation fades. Systems stay. Decide how you’ll show up on hard days, not just what you’ll do on perfect ones.Build identity-based habitsInstead of “I need to work out,” try:“I’m someone who moves every day”“I’m someone who shows up, even imperfectly”Know yourself honestlySome people need accountability. Others don’t. There’s no shame — just strategy.Plan for real lifeHave a Plan B for sick days, stressful weeks, and low-energy moments. Missing one day doesn’t break a habit — quitting does.Action creates motivationDon’t wait to feel inspired. Do the smallest version of the habit — motivation will follow.Helpful reframes we love:Change driven by shame rarely survives stressOverwhelm triggers avoidancePausing does not erase progressRest is part of consistencyShowing up imperfectly still countsA reminder we hope you take with you:You don’t need to overhaul your entire life this year. One small, consistent shift can change everything over time. You’re not behind — you’re building.Glimmers:Catherine’s glimmer is the joy of knowing Andrew is heading to the airport to see her after recording.Andrew’s glimmer is the same — gratitude, connection, and getting to be together after a stretch apart.If this episode resonated with you, follow the show, leave a review, or share it with someone who’s feeling discouraged about starting over.We’re with you — one small step at a time.

Rejection can feel deeply personal — whether it’s not getting the job, not hearing back, being left out, or feeling unwanted in relationships. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack why rejection hurts so much, what’s actually happening in your brain when it happens, and how to move through it without letting it define your self-worth.This conversation is for anyone who tends to replay rejection over and over, spiral into self-blame, or wonder what’s “wrong” with them after hearing no.In this episode, we talk about:Why rejection activates the brain’s pain centersHow rejection threatens belonging, not your valueThe difference between what happened and the story you tell yourselfWhy rejection often feels like an identity attackHow timing, fit, and context matter more than personal failureWhy being rejected doesn’t mean you were evaluated fairlyHow to stop internalizing rejection and move forward with confidenceHelpful mindset shifts:Rejection is an event, not a verdictNot being chosen doesn’t mean you’re unworthyYou don’t need universal approval to belongRejection often protects you from misalignmentOne “no” does not define your futurePractical ways to handle rejection:Let yourself feel disappointed without shaming yourselfName the emotion instead of becoming itSeparate facts from assumptionsReconnect with moments where you have been chosenKeep your identity bigger than one outcomeA reminder we hope you take with you:You are not your last rejection. You are allowed to grieve it — and you are allowed to move on without carrying it as proof of anything about you.Glimmers:Andrew shares a moment of calm and presence before a busy season, while Cat reflects on the joy of a slow, grounding day spent resetting her space and energy.

Bad days happen to everyone — the spilled coffee, the rude driver, the overwhelming to-do list, the kid meltdown, or the spiraling thoughts that won’t quit. But a bad day doesn’t have to turn into a bad week or a bad season. In this episode, Andrew and Cat break down exactly what’s happening in your body and mind during a tough day and share practical, science-backed steps to interrupt the spiral and truly reset.This is your guide to calming your nervous system, grounding in the present, and giving yourself the compassion you actually need.Key Topics CoveredWhy your brain goes into “fight, flight, or freeze” during a bad dayHow overstimulation + emotional flooding make everything feel worseThe Window of Tolerance and why you pop out of itWhy powering through backfiresWhat not to do after a bad daySimple grounding techniques that work in minutesHow to shift your environment and regulate your nervous systemHow to stop the negative momentum before it becomes a bad weekActionable Steps to Reset1. Acknowledge You’re Having a Bad DayNormalize it: “This is a bad day. It’s temporary.”Awareness interrupts the mental tumble.2. Ground Yourself in Your BodyWhen your mind spins, your body’s in survival mode. Try:Box breathing (4–4–4–4)Double inhale + long exhaleRubbing your armsFeet planted firmly on the groundRepeating: “I am safe right now.”3. Move the Stuck Energy OutBad days create physical tension. Release it with:A fast walkGentle stretchingShaking out your limbsA moment of dancingStomping your feet (great for kids and adults)Movement shifts your physiology faster than thoughts ever will.4. Change Your EnvironmentYour nervous system needs a scene shift:Step outside for fresh air and sunlightSplash cold water on your faceTake a warm shower (Cat’s dad’s universal cure!)A new environment interrupts the emotional loop.5. Regulate & Co-RegulateOnce calmer, try:Tea or cool waterA short napA self-hug or safe, comforting touchJournaling what triggered youAsking for a hug from someone you trust6. Drop the StoryYour brain wants to replay the bad moment a hundred times.Interrupt it with: “I don’t need to carry this anymore.”What Not to Do After a Bad DayDon’t force positivity (“I’m fine” makes it worse)Don’t ruminate — replaying it keeps the stress aliveDon’t doom scrollDon’t isolate yourselfDon’t make major decisionsDon’t self-criticizeTreat yourself how you’d treat someone you love — gently.Quotes from the Episode“A bad day isn’t a bad life — unless you carry it into tomorrow.”“Your body needs to reset before your mind can.”“Treat yourself the way you’d treat a child you adore on a hard day.”Cat’s Aha MomentsRealizing she was dysregulated without noticing it — and how helpful it is when someone gently mirrors that back.The reminder that pushing through only leads to overwhelm, overreacting, and unnecessary conflict.Andrew’s Aha MomentsUnderstanding the hyperarousal → hypoarousal cycle and why his body sometimes “checks out.”Recognizing that the reset must happen in the body before the mind can calm down.Glimmers of the WeekCat: The Calm App’s bedtime stories — helping her fall asleep faster and wake up more regulated.Andrew: Also the Calm App — loving the guided stories and the noticeable shift in his nervous system.Resources MentionedCalm App (Meditations + Sleep Stories)https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00Y3TM6CO?tag=5yy-20Aromatherapy Shower Steamershttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B09LVQZ3Z5?tag=5yy-20Weighted Blanket for Regulationhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B07RZ8FJLT?tag=5yy-20Connect with UsWebsite: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouTikTok: https://tiktok.com/@fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] podcast is for informational purposes only and does not substitute professional mental health or medical advice. Always seek help from a qualified provider for personal concerns.Some links may be affiliate links.As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20

Christmas is often described as the most wonderful time of the year — but for many people, it’s one of the hardest. In this episode, Andrew and Cat talk honestly about holiday burnout, grief, pressure, and unrealistic expectations, and offer compassionate, practical ways to experience Christmas in a way that actually feels good for you.This episode is especially for anyone who feels overwhelmed, disconnected, grieving, resentful, or simply “not into it” this year. You’re not broken — you’re human.In This Episode, We Talk About:• Why Christmas can feel emotionally heavy instead of joyful• The unrealistic pressure placed on parents (especially moms) during the holidays• How social media amplifies comparison, guilt, and expectations• Why it’s okay to feel joy and sadness at the same time• How grief shows up during the holidays — and why there’s no “right” way to do Christmas• The difference between meaningful moments and overdoing gifts and traditions• How to stop people-pleasing and start honoring your own emotional needsKey TakeawaysYou’re not broken if you’re not feeling festiveIf Christmas feels hard this year, that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Stress, grief, loss, illness, burnout, and family dynamics all get amplified during the holidays.Christmas is an amplifierWhatever you’re already feeling — joy, exhaustion, grief, loneliness — tends to feel bigger this time of year. That doesn’t make those feelings bad or wrong.More effort doesn’t equal more joyDoing more traditions, buying more gifts, or spending more money doesn’t guarantee happiness. Often, it just leads to more stress and resentment.Kids remember how you felt, not what you boughtChildren are far more likely to remember experiences, presence, and emotional safety than the number of presents under the tree.Grief and gratitude can coexistYou can miss someone deeply and still appreciate the people or moments you have now. Smiling doesn’t mean you’ve “moved on,” and sadness doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.Practical Ways to Enjoy Christmas (Your Way)Design Christmas around your emotional needsAsk yourself:– Do I need calm or excitement this year?– Do I want togetherness or more quiet?– What would actually help me feel rested or supported?There is no correct answer — only your answer.Simplify traditionsTraditions don’t have to be expensive or elaborate. Small, repeatable comforts can be just as meaningful:– One favorite movie– A quiet morning– Driving around to look at lights– A simple meal– One meaningful giftYou’re allowed to start new traditions or pause old ones.Set boundaries without guiltYou’re allowed to:– Say no to travel– Leave early– Stay home– Skip events– Change plansDisappointing others doesn’t mean you’ve failed — it means you’re honoring yourself.If you’re grieving, do what feels safestRecreating old traditions might hurt — or it might help. Either choice is valid. Staying home is not “giving up.” It’s creating space to heal.Stop forcing cheerYou don’t need to fix the mood, perform happiness, or make everyone feel joyful. Let emotions come and go naturally.What Not to Do This Christmas• Don’t force happiness or cheer• Don’t compare your holiday to social media• Don’t shame yourself for how you’re feeling• Don’t override your needs to meet expectations• Don’t assume this year defines every future ChristmasGlimmers from This EpisodeCat’s glimmer:Getting to pet the wiggliest, happiest puppy — a simple moment of pure joy and connection.Andrew’s glimmer:A morning walk, sunlight, smiling at neighbors, and seeing someone light up from a simple “good morning.”Sometimes hope and joy come from the smallest moments.Final ReminderYou don’t need to love Christmas to be doing it “right.”You don’t need to do more to be enough.You don’t need to feel happy all day to have a meaningful holiday.Getting through it — with honesty, boundaries, and self-compassion — is enough.Merry Christmas.You’re not alone.

You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely — and that’s something almost everyone experiences. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack the difference between being alone and feeling lonely, explore where that emptiness comes from, and share practical, compassionate ways to rebuild connection — both with others and yourself.Big ideasLoneliness ≠ isolation. You can feel lonely in a crowded room because connection is about being understood, not just being around others.Your brain lies. The stories you tell yourself — “I’m a burden,” “no one cares,” “I wasn’t invited because I’m not liked” — aren’t facts.It’s often rooted in old wounds. Many of us learned as kids to minimize our needs, which makes adult connection harder.You can rewire the story. Self-compassion and awareness can help you separate what happened from what you made it mean.Connection takes courage. Reaching out feels scary, but it’s the antidote to loneliness.Key takeaways1️⃣ Name the lie. When your brain says, “nobody cares,” replace it with: “No one knows I need them right now.”2️⃣ Reach out first. Send a text, share a funny video, or ask for a coffee. Don’t wait for an invitation — give one.3️⃣ Borrow hope. When you see others connecting, use it as proof that connection is possible for you too.4️⃣ Say what you need. “Can we talk?” or “I’ve been feeling disconnected” is honest — not needy.5️⃣ Get around people. Go for a walk, smile at strangers, sit in a café — you’ll feel energy shift just by being among others.6️⃣ Rebuild inner connection. Remind yourself of your worth: write down moments when you’ve been a good friend, helper, or listener.7️⃣ Shift focus outward. Helping others — even small acts — often dissolves your own loneliness.Gentle scripts to try“Hey, I’ve been thinking of you. How have you been?”“I could use a chat today — do you have time to catch up?”“Want to grab a quick coffee this week?”“I saw this and it made me think of you.”Every message doesn’t have to be deep — just real.Quotes & reflections“Your brain lies — you’re not a burden, you’re a blessing.”“Loneliness is the space between your heart reaching out and your fear holding back.”“Every time you smile at someone, you remind them — and yourself — that we’re all in this together.”GlimmersCat: Trader Joe’s ready-made dinners — giving herself grace and ease in a busy week. 🍝Andrew: Binge-watching Stranger Things guilt-free — sometimes comfort and escape are self-care. 📺If you’re struggling deeplyYou are not alone. If you’re in crisis or feeling hopeless, reach out for help right now:988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) — call or text 988Canada Suicide Prevention Service — call or text 988U.K. Samaritans — call 116 123Australia Lifeline — call 13 11 14Or visit findahelpline.com for international optionsConnectWebsite: fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Do you ever wake up and think, “Is this it?” You’ve checked all the boxes — career, home, family — but something still feels flat. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack why life can suddenly feel boring even when everything looks good on paper. They share insights on midlife lulls, lost curiosity, and how to bring energy, novelty, and purpose back into your everyday routine.Big ideasBoredom isn’t bad. It’s a signal — not a failure. It’s your brain’s way of saying, “We’ve mastered this level. Time to evolve.”Comfort kills curiosity. The more predictable your life becomes, the less stimulation your brain gets.There are two kinds of boredom:Situational boredom — nothing to do.Existential boredom — plenty to do, but nothing excites you.Tiny novelties matter. You don’t need to blow up your life; even small changes reignite joy.Key takeaways1️⃣ Add micro-novelties. Try a new coffee shop, walk a different route, or rearrange a room — fresh experiences reawaken your senses.2️⃣ Stay curious. Learn something new just for the fun of it — a language, an instrument, or even a random hobby.3️⃣ Reconnect with purpose. If your kids, job, or routines no longer “need” you the same way, find new outlets for meaning.4️⃣ Let boredom guide you. Sometimes it’s not about doing more — it’s about resting deeply.5️⃣ Reach out. Loneliness often hides behind “busy.” Text the friend you’ve been missing — they’ll probably be relieved you did.Small shifts to spark excitementReplace scrolling with doing. Ten minutes of learning beats an hour of endless swiping.Start a “Done List.” Track what you accomplished today instead of what’s missing.Take curiosity breaks. Watch a documentary, visit a farmer’s market, or read about something new.Try the Groundhog Day reframe: Instead of escaping monotony, add playfulness to it — like Bill Murray learning piano and French.Practice boredom without guilt. Rest is not laziness; it’s restoration.Quotes & reflections“Boredom is your brain’s way of inviting you to grow again.”“The plateau isn’t punishment — it’s a charging station.”“You don’t have to burn it all down to feel alive again.”GlimmersCat: Recording in person with Andrew in their Canada home — first time in ages and totally glimmery. 🇨🇦Andrew: Finally solving the technical setup to make it happen — and proving that collaboration always feels better than perfection.ConnectWebsite: fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Everyone wants to be liked — but trying too hard can make the opposite happen. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack the psychology of likability and share practical, science-backed (and heart-backed) ways to connect more deeply with others. Whether you’re navigating work events, friendships, or dating, these tips will help you become the kind of person people remember — for all the right reasons.Big ideasPeople want to feel seen. Listening and showing genuine interest makes you instantly more likable.Authenticity beats performance. Pretending to be someone you’re not always backfires — real connection comes from honesty.Kindness counts. The way you treat others (servers, coworkers, strangers) reveals your character more than anything you say.The “likeability loop.” When you care about people, they feel good — and associate that feeling with you.The Likability Blueprint1️⃣ Show genuine curiosity. Ask thoughtful questions about people’s lives, interests, and stories.2️⃣ Listen more than you talk. Don’t wait for your turn — truly hear them.3️⃣ Remember details. Use your phone notes if needed. Mention their kids, trips, or hobbies later — people feel valued.4️⃣ Smile and use names. A person’s name is their favorite sound; it builds warmth instantly.5️⃣ Talk in their terms. Discuss what they enjoy — sports, travel, hobbies — even if it’s new to you.6️⃣ Be kind to everyone. Your behavior toward strangers says more than words ever will.7️⃣ Don’t gossip. If you talk about others negatively, people assume you’ll do the same to them.8️⃣ Initiate connection. Don’t wait to be approached — say hello, make eye contact, and be the one who starts the conversation.Quick winsUse the “two-question rule.” After someone answers your first question, ask one follow-up that shows you were listening.Practice micro-connections. Compliment a stranger’s outfit, greet your barista, or check in with a coworker.Note their world. “How was your beach trip?” hits differently than “How are you?”Mirror energy. Match people’s tone and pace naturally — it creates subconscious comfort.Quotes & reminders“People don’t remember what you said — they remember how you made them feel.”“Kindness and curiosity never go out of style.”“You don’t need everyone to like you — just the right ones.”GlimmersCat: Domino’s gluten-free pepperoni and pineapple pizza — the ultimate cozy reward after recording. 🍕Andrew: Dinner with his daughter and her boyfriend — a milestone moment and reminder that connection starts with listening.ConnectWebsite: fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

When was the last time you felt truly peaceful? In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack what peace actually means — and how to protect it when life, family, work, and the holidays all compete for your calm. You’ll learn how to draw healthy boundaries, avoid people-pleasing, and keep your inner world steady even when the outer world isn’t.Big ideasPeace is an inside job. Calm isn’t the absence of chaos — it’s your ability to stay centered within it.Boundaries = self-respect. Setting and keeping boundaries may upset others, but it’s how you teach people how to treat you.You can’t please everyone. Someone will always be disappointed — make sure it’s not you.Guilt isn’t a compass. Feeling guilty after saying no doesn’t mean you’re wrong; it means you’re growing.External calm starts with internal clarity. What drains your peace most — your schedule, your phone, or your thoughts?Key takeaways1️⃣ Define peace for yourself. Is it quiet time, emotional balance, or simply less chaos? You can’t protect what you can’t define.2️⃣ Stop overcommitting. Every “yes” to others is a “no” to your own calm.3️⃣ Set clear, kind boundaries. “I’m not available that day” is a complete sentence.4️⃣ Handle guilt with compassion. You’re not being selfish — you’re creating a more peaceful version of you.5️⃣ Don’t absorb other people’s storms. Be supportive without taking on their chaos.6️⃣ Create peace rituals. Start mornings quietly, take digital breaks, and end the day tech-free.7️⃣ Limit news intake. You can be informed without being overwhelmed.Practice these peace-protecting habitsTake a “no explanation” day: decline plans without justifying it.Zip up your energy: visualize a protective bubble before entering stressful environments.Replace doomscrolling with sunlight and movement.Offer an alternative plan when saying no (“Can we meet for lunch next month instead?”).Mute notifications — your peace doesn’t need a ping.Mindset shifts“Rest isn’t lazy — it’s leadership.”“Clarity is kind.”“I can love people and still say no.”“My peace is my responsibility.”GlimmersCat: Their Instagram video of Andrew playing guitar went viral — proof that consistency and creativity pay off. 🎸Andrew: His post-surgery checkup showed major healing progress — a powerful reminder that slow recovery isprogress.ConnectWebsite: fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Episode snapshotPersonal growth is beautiful — until it’s not. In this episode, Andrew and Cat talk about the hidden fatigue that comes with healing, self-development, and “always improving.” They unpack why the messy middle is normal, why growth never really ends, and how to rest without guilt.Big ideasGrowth is cyclical, not linear. You’re not failing — you’re just in a different season.The messy middle matters. No one talks about the “in-between” years where progress feels invisible.Fatigue is feedback, not failure. Your body and mind need recovery as much as your muscles do.Judgment makes it worse. Beating yourself up for being human delays your healing.Rest is part of growth. Pausing helps new habits take root.Key takeaways1️⃣ Redefine success. There’s no “finish line” to personal growth. It’s a lifelong practice.2️⃣ Accept regression as recalibration. Two steps forward, one pizza back (as Andrew says). It’s all part of the process.3️⃣ Track what you did, not what you missed. Cat’s “reverse to-do list” builds perspective and gratitude.4️⃣ Beware the comparison trap. Everyone has a different deck of cards — focus on your own hand.5️⃣ Switch it up. If your routines feel heavy, try a new form of movement, journaling, or rest.6️⃣ Recognize seasons. Some months are for pushing forward; others are for digesting what you’ve learned.Signs you might be burned out from growthConstant fatigue or mental fogLoss of joy in “self-care” routinesGuilt for resting or taking breaksFeeling like nothing is ever enoughSmall shifts that helpWrite a “done list” instead of a to-do list.Take micro-breaks during the day — stillness counts.Build seasonal awareness: winter = rest, spring = renewal.Remind yourself: “I am not behind. I’m evolving.”Quotes & reflections“You’re chasing a sunset you’ll never catch — so pause, turn around, and notice how far you’ve come.”“Rest is not the reward for growth; it’s the requirement.”“Even growth needs recovery days.”GlimmersCat: A golden fall day in Chicago — crisp air, bright sun, and a long peaceful walk. 🍂Andrew: Cozy weekend show (“Nobody Wants This”) — proof that slowing down can feel just as good as achieving.ConnectWebsite: fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Episode snapshotEver been told you’re “not fun” or “too serious”? Andrew and Cat unpack what fun actually means — and why chasing other people’s version of it leaves you drained. This episode helps you redefine fun on your own terms, whether that means karaoke nights or coloring budget charts.Big ideasFun got complicated. It used to be sticks and puddles; now it’s overpriced trips and curated weekends.There’s a bias toward extroverts. The world rewards loud, social fun — but quiet joy counts too.Authenticity = happiness. True fun begins when you do what genuinely lights you up, not what’s “supposed to.”Stop “should-ing” your joy. You don’t owe anyone attendance at events that drain you.The “Fun Framework”1️⃣ Define your fun. What genuinely delights you — not what looks fun to others?2️⃣ Drop guilt. Rest and relaxation are productive; joy refuels creativity.3️⃣ Practice authenticity. Say “no” to misaligned plans; say “yes” to what feels right.4️⃣ Four ingredients of fun:Freedom – Do things with no outcome attached.Presence – Be here, not in your head.Connection – Lose track of time with people or passions that sync with you.Expression – Let the real you show up (no armor, no performance).5️⃣ Replace FOMO with ROMO (Relief of Missing Out). Enjoy skipping the plans you never wanted anyway.6️⃣ Audit your joy. When was the last time you lost track of time? Start there.Mindset Shifts“Suffering through someone else’s fun is still suffering.”“Fun doesn’t have to be expensive, impressive, or loud.”“When you say no to what drains you, you say yes to what fills you.”“Joy lives in small pockets — coffee chats, thrift hunts, puppy cuddles.”Practical IdeasTry a joy audit: list five activities that make you feel alive.Add micro-fun moments — a walk, a playlist, a puzzle, or your favorite meal.Revisit childhood joy: What did little-you love? Can you bring that back now?Find your people: When you’re authentically yourself, the right friends appear.GlimmersCat: Fully funded her emergency fund after years of work — and found joy in tracking the goal.Andrew: Traveling to England with his daughter and seeing her reaction to Big Ben for the first time — pure magic.ConnectWebsite: fiveyearyou.comInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyouEmail: [email protected] note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Feeling stuck, numb, or like the light went out? Andrew and Cat talk about rebuilding hope—without toxic positivity. You’ll learn why hope is a brain-and-body shift (not a mood), what quietly erodes it, and small, doable steps to feel a spark again.Big ideasHope ≠ denial. It accepts reality and imagines a different future.Your brain likes anticipation. Even the thought that “this can get better” gives a healthy dopamine lift.Grief comes first. Feel it to free it. Then take one gentle step forward.Stories shape state. Borrow hope from people who’ve pushed through setbacks.Try this (tiny, today)One good thing prompt: On waking, ask: “Why is today going to be great?” Name one simple thing (first coffee, a walk, clean sheets).Anchor to the present: 3 slow breaths + notice 3 things you can see/hear/feel.Borrow hope: Read or listen to a perseverance story (dating later in life, 52nd lender said yes, etc.).Move a little: Sunlight on your face, a 10-minute walk, stretch by a window.Purpose pebble: Do one small helpful act—smile at a neighbor, text a check-in, hold the door.Future-you assist: Ask, “What tiny thing would future me thank me for tonight?” Then do just that.Mindset shifts“Maybe there’s more for me.”“I’ve done hard things before; I can do hard things again.”“I only need a spark, not the full lighthouse.”What erodes hope (and what helps)Chronic stress, disappointment, self-blame → Practice self-compassion; feel feelings, don’t camp there.Doom-scrolling, heavy inputs → Curate feeds toward light, learning, and real connection.No direction → Choose a tiny purpose for today (make one person smile).GlimmersCat: The pure joy of petting the wiggliest puppy—five minutes of instant hope.Andrew: Morning sun + saying “good morning” on a short walk—connection lifts everyone.If you’re struggling right nowYou’re not alone, and help is available 24/7. If you think you might act on thoughts of self-harm, seek immediate help:United States & Canada: Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).United States (text): Text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line).Canada (call): 1-833-456-4566; text 45645 (Talk Suicide Canada, evenings).United Kingdom & ROI: 116 123 (Samaritans).Australia: 13 11 14 (Lifeline).Emergency: Call your local emergency number (911 / 999 / 112) if you’re in immediate danger.If you’re outside these regions, contact your local health services or search for your country’s suicide prevention hotline.Stay connectedSay hi / coaching inquiries: [email protected] & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)We’re glad you’re here. Keep going—one small step, one spark at a time.

If you’ve ever rewritten a simple text 3x, “rescued” the dishwasher, or tried to schedule spontaneity… hi, friend. Andrew and Cat unpack why control feels so necessary (spoiler: anxiety + safety), the hidden costs on your body and relationships, and simple ways to loosen your grip without letting life fall apart.Big ideasControl ≠ safety. It’s often an anxious mind trying to predict pain.It’s an illusion anyway. Habits create predictability, but outcomes are never guaranteed.There’s a relationship cost. Trying to steer other adults (or teens) breeds resentment; “let them” is often the loving move.Trade control for structure. Plan your response, not everyone else’s behavior.A gentler way forward (step-by-step)Awareness > autopilotNotice where you micromanage and name the need under it: “I want to feel safe / prepared / not blindsided.”Micro-win: say it out loud or jot one line in your Notes app.Own what’s yoursYou don’t control kids, partners, coworkers, traffic, weather, or ride closures. You do control: your breath, tone, posture, words, boundaries, and next action.Replace control with structureSwap rigid scripts for implementation intentions:“If the plan changes, I’ll take 4 slow breaths, then choose the most loving next step.”“If a child melts down, we pause 10 minutes—shade, water, snack—then reassess.”Structure calms you without corralling everyone else.Micro-uncertainty reps (build the tolerance muscle)Take a different route home.Try a new appetizer while keeping your go-to entrée.Sit in a different seat at the table/meeting.Leave a 30-minute block unscheduled—and let it stay unscheduled.Celebrate the reps, not the results.Regulate before you reactControl spikes when your nervous system is hot. Downshift first, then decide. Quick options: box breathing, sensory grounding, a 60-second shake-out, cool water on your face, brief step outside.→ Want guided, under-a-minute resets? Try our Quick Calm Method: seven micro-tools we use daily. fiveyearyou.com/calmTiny scripts that help“I’m noticing I want to control this because I care. I’m going to choose calm first.”“Here’s the plan, and it’s OK if we pivot.”“I can’t choose for you; I can choose how I respond.”Signs you’re loosening your gripFewer replays in your head after plans shift.More laughter when things go “off script.”Kids/partners volunteer more because they feel less managed.GlimmersCat: Flying to Canada to see Andrew today—so excited for an in-person hug!Andrew: Finished The DOSE Effect by TJ Power—practical ways to retrain brain chemistry and feel better. Loved it.Links & extrasQuick Calm Method (video course, < 60 minutes): fiveyearyou.com/calmSay hi / coaching inquiries: [email protected] & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

“Calm down” never calms anyone down. Andrew and Cat share practical, under-a-minute techniques from their Quick Calm Method—tools you can use at work, in traffic, or mid–dinner chaos to regulate your nervous system fast (without a 60-minute meditation).Big ideasCo-regulation beats commands. “Breathe with me” works; “calm down” doesn’t.Not all “wellness” fits all bodies. For ~30% of people, traditional meditation or cold plunges can spike anxiety; choose nervous-system-friendly options that work for you.You can flip a day in 60 seconds. Micro-resets interrupt spirals and change the tone for you (and everyone around you).The Quick Calm Method (highlights from the episode)Breath Reset (Box Breathing, etc.)Short, shallow breaths tell your brain there’s danger. Slow, counted exhales flip you back into rest-and-digest. Great solo—or co-regulate by breathing together.Cat used this walking from the car to the apartment—under a minute—to avoid snapping and stay “safe space” for her son.Grounding ResetGet out of your head and into your senses (sight, sound, touch). Anchors you to reality when the mind starts catastrophizing.Body ResetStress lives in your muscles. Quick, discrete movements (yes, even a tiny office-friendly “shake out”) discharge that pent-up energy so it doesn’t leak out as irritability. Cue the giggles.Mini-Meditation ResetA guided 60–120s visualization to power-wash mental noise. Works for many; if meditation ramps you up, skip it and use breath/grounding instead.Laughter ResetFake a laugh to spark a real one, recall a reliably funny clip, or replay a personal “can’t-not-laugh” memory. Physiology shifts, chemistry follows.Want the step-by-step videos? Get the course: fiveyearyou.com/calmWhen to use whichRising irritability / about to walk into a meeting: Breath Reset → Grounding (2–3 min total)Anger with lots of body tension: Body Reset, then Breath (2–4 min)Spiral/rumination loop: Grounding → Mini-Meditation (2–3 min)Household mood reset: Laughter Reset + 30-second family dance (1–2 min)Micro-scripts that help“I want to hear you. Can we take 4 slow breaths together first?”“I’m doing a quick reset so I can respond, not react.”“Let’s turn the day around.” (spin, shake, smile—pattern interrupt!)GlimmersAndrew: Loving the Pulsetto vagus-nerve stim—paired with our resets, I’m noticeably calmer day-to-day.Cat: First real fall day in Chicago—cool walks, crunchy leaves, instant nervous-system sigh. 🍂Links & extrasQuick Calm Method (video course, < 60 minutes total): fiveyearyou.com/calmEmail us what worked for you: [email protected] & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Joy isn’t only for big vacations and milestone days. Andrew and Cat share how to spot, savor, and create tiny moments of joy inside regular Tuesdays—using reframes, mini rituals, and presence.Big ideasReframe “have to” → “get to.” (“I get to make my teenager breakfast.” “I get to have coffee.”)Joy is a muscle. Start from where you are and build reps with small, repeatable practices.Presence is the new luxury. Attention given to a person or moment = the rarest gift.Gratitude by subtraction. Imagine losing a simple ability (driving, using an arm) to feel instant thanks.Choose richer dopamine. Swap “cheap hits” (doomscrolling, impulse buys) for slow joys (plants, cooking, conversation).Design tiny rituals. Little, reliable delights (the “third cup” flavored coffee, sun crystals, herbs growing) anchor your day.Joy-in-the-Ordinary PlaybookAwareness: Notice you want more joy—great. That’s step one.Rename the moments: Commute → “podcast walk;” dishes → “gratitude reset;” bedtime → “cozy ritual.”One-sense check-in: Pause to smell coffee, feel a soft blanket, or notice morning light.Threshold ritual: Each time you pass a doorway, smile or take one slow breath and whisper “joy.”Daily delight photo: Snap one picture of something that delighted you today.1–1–1 gratitude: Say aloud one person, one object, and one moment you’re grateful for.Zero-dollar joy hunt: Celebrate what you already own (favorite mug, a comfy couch, that perfect blow dryer).Grow something: Herbs in a counter garden or a hardy plant (self-watering pots help!).Protect presence: Put the phone away with people you love; use social media as a tool, not a reflex.Teach it forward: Model joy-finding for kids (and delay the dopamine machine as long as you can).Fast ideas from the episodeSavor a “special” cup (save a flavored coffee for your last cup).Hang sun crystals to splash rainbows across the room.Try a micro-reset: inhale + exhale whenever you enter a new room.Keep plants you’ll actually keep alive (hello, self-watering pots).Practice gratitude by subtraction: what ordinary thing would you miss if it were gone?MentionedThe DOSE Effect — TJ Power (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins and how to get them the healthy way)GlimmersAndrew: “The glimmer is… the glimmers.” Making tiny joys a habit changed how I feel daily.Cat: Self-watering planters—travel-friendly and my plants are thriving. 🌿Keep in touchInstagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)Email: [email protected] & freebies: fiveyearyou.comAffiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Overthinking feels productive—but it’s really a mental treadmill. Andrew and Cat share simple, science-backed ways to break rumination loops, calm anxiety, and take clear next steps.Big ideasOverthinking ≠ problem-solving. It’s a certainty-seeking loop fueled by anxiety.Awareness is step one. “I’m trying to change what can’t be changed” stops past-focused spirals.Name it to tame it. Label the pattern (“I’m catastrophizing” / “Amy* is yapping again”) to reduce its grip.*Amy = your “amygdala alarm”—a playful mental cue.Interrupt the loop. Pattern-breakers (breath, movement, grounding) shift brain states.Get it out of your head. Journal, voice-notes, therapist, trusted friend—externalize the swirl.You already know more than you think. Get still; your body’s “yes/no” shows up fast.Action ends rumination. Any small next step beats spinning in maybe-land.The Anti-Overthinking PlaybookSpot it: “I’m looping.” (Awareness)Label it: “This is catastrophizing / future-tripping / should-storming.” (Name to tame)Pattern break (pick one):Box breathing 4–4–4–4 (1–2 min)5–4–3–2–1 grounding (see/hear/feel)10–15 minute walk (movement beats rumination)Hand on heart, slow breaths (drop from head → body)Externalize: 60-second brain dump (paper or voice note). If it’s still noisy, share with a therapist or trusted person.Choose one: Flip a coin or ask: “What would Future Me thank me for?” Notice your gut reaction → decide.Micro-action: One concrete step within 5–10 minutes (email, calendar block, checklist start).If it returns: Repeat. You’re building a new habit, not chasing perfection.Quick scripts & mental cuesSleep cue: Silently repeat, “I’m not thinking” for ~60–90 seconds; return to breath when you drift.Yappy-dog reframe: “Thanks, Amy. Into the crate you go—I’ll revisit this at 4pm.” (Schedule the worry window.)Self-compassion: “I’m worrying because I care. I can choose peace by taking one small action.”Tools Cat & Andrew use“Worry window” (10–15 min/day) to contain ruminationMovement first: short walk, light chores, or stretching whenever loops startCoin-toss clarity to surface true preferenceHeart-breath check-in before decisionsReframes to keepNo wrong choices. Every decision is a result or a lesson. Both move you forward.Indecision is a decision. You’re choosing anxiety over momentum—pick a tiny step instead.GlimmersCat: A three-day weekend to reset and prep for Andrew’s visit.Andrew: Packing to fly out—looking forward to time together.Resources mentioned (friendly starting points)Nonviolent Communication — Marshall B. Rosenberg (for clear needs/requests)Grounding & breath practices (box breathing, 5-4-3-2-1)Stay connectedQuestions, coaching, or topic requests: [email protected] episodes & freebies: fiveyearyou.comIG: @fiveyearyouAffiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Arguments don’t need winners; they need resolution. Andrew and Cat share calm, practical ways to defuse conflict at home, with friends, and at work—so everyone feels seen, heard, and respected.Big ideasStay calm first. Regulated nervous systems make regulated conversations.Listen to understand, not to win. Most “arguments” are unmet needs in disguise.Name the real issue. Clarify what the conflict is actually about before debating solutions.Feelings + needs > accusations. Use “When you ___, I feel ___; I need ___; could you ___?”Define the desired outcome. Agree on “what good looks like” before you continue.Two truths can coexist. Your perspectives can both be valid.Take breaks at impasses. Timeouts prevent escalation; return when cooler.Bring a neutral third party when needed. Therapist, mediator, or trusted friend.The Fair-Argument PlaybookPause & breathe. Lower the temperature (box breathing: 4–4–4–4).State intent: “My goal is for us to understand each other and find a solution we both can live with.”Clarify the issue: “What do you think this is really about?”Reflective listening: “What I’m hearing is… Did I get that right?”Share with NVC: “When X happened, I felt Y. What I need is Z. Would you be willing to ___?”Outcome check: “By the end of this, I’d love for us to ___.”Perspective-swap: Briefly argue the other person’s side to show you get it.Agree on next step: One concrete action each.If stuck: “Let’s pause for 20–60 minutes and revisit at ___. We’re on the same team.”Handy scriptsRed-flag day: “Quick heads-up: I’m low-sleep/overloaded today. If I seem short, it’s not about you.”Boundary without blame: “I want to keep talking, and I need a 15-minute reset to stay respectful.”Repair after rupture: “I’m sorry for my tone earlier. Your point matters; can we try again?”For parents & teamsAsk kids/teammates to share how they’re feeling + what they need (not who’s “right”).Normalize check-ins: “What outcome are you hoping for?”Celebrate process wins (no interrupting, calm tone, staying on topic), not just “winning.”When to get helpRepeating stalemates on big life choices (money, parenting, moving, family size).Patterns of contempt, stonewalling, or scorekeeping.Bring in a counselor/mediator to create safety and structure.Resources mentionedNonviolent Communication — Marshall B. Rosenberg (feelings/needs framework)GlimmersAndrew: Watching his son thrive at a first MMA practice—and the respectful community vibe.Cat: A surprise flower delivery (courtesy of Andrew and his mom) brightened a tough week.Keep in touchQuestions, coaching, or topic requests: [email protected] episodes & freebies: fiveyearyou.comIG: @fiveyearyouAffiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Decision dread, analysis paralysis, and the fear of “messing it up” can keep you stuck on the couch while life moves on. In this episode, Andrew and Cat break down how to make choices with more ease, treat “wrong” choices as data, and shift from scarcity (“there’s only one right path”) to abundance (“there’s another bus coming”). Expect gentle reframes, fast decision tools, and permission to experiment.Key takeawaysThere are almost no “wrong” choices—only feedback. A result you don’t like is information for your next step.Indecision is a decision. Choosing not to choose keeps you in anxiety; pick a direction and learn.What’s meant for you won’t pass you by. Missed chances circle back in new ways; rejection can be protection.Widen the timeline. Over five years, most choices matter far less than they feel in the moment.Abundance > scarcity. Assume more options, more chances, and more support are on their way.Practical tools you can use today30-Second “gut check”Take 3 slow breaths.Say Choice A out loud; notice your body’s micro-response (expand or shrink?).Repeat for Choice B. Choose the one that feels more expansive—not necessarily easier.Two-way vs. one-way doorsMost decisions are reversible (two-way). Act fast on those. Save careful deliberation for the few irreversible (one-way) choices.Set a decision deadlineDefine, “I’ll decide by Friday at 4pm.” Gather enough info, then commit.Regret testAsk: “Which option will I regret not trying?” Pick that.Premortem & 1st dominoImagine it went badly; list why; add safeguards. Then do the smallest first action (email, application, 10-min draft).Decision journal (one line!)“Today I chose X because Y; expected outcome Z.” Review monthly to learn your patterns.Micro-menu ruleOverwhelmed by options? Narrow to two, choose, move. Practice on low-stakes stuff (meals, routes, outfits) to build the muscle.Try this (5-minute script)Write:“If a friend were stuck on this exact choice, I’d tell them…The smallest next step is…If it’s wrong, I’ll know because… and then I’ll…”Read it back and do that smallest step.Reframes we love“Rivers don’t run straight.” Meanders are how you move forward.“Opportunities are like buses; there’s another one coming.” Missing one doesn’t end the route.“Life is a big platter of delights.” Pick something; you can try the next dish later.“Rejection is protection.” Closed doors redirect you to your door.Signs you’re in scarcity (and how to flip it)“There’s only one right choice.” → Abundance flip: “There are many good-enough choices.”“If I miss this, it’s over.” → Flip: “If it’s for me, it returns.”“I need 100% certainty.” → Flip: “80% clarity + action beats 100% later.”Resources & related episodesFeeling Like I’m Failing (pairs well with today’s topic)Contrast & Gratitude (how hard seasons clarify values)Self-Compassion (Kristin Neff) – practical exercises for kinder self-talk📧 Coaching or questions: [email protected]🌐 More episodes & freebies: fiveyearyou.com📸 IG: @fiveyearyouMemorable lines“You’ll learn more from a ‘wrong’ decision than a ‘right’ one.”“Indecision is a decision—to stay in anxiety.”“What’s meant for you won’t pass you by.”“Widen the time horizon; five-year-you rarely cares which salad you picked.”GlimmersAndrew: A small delight—a new red shirt replacing the hospital-cut favorite, and the kindness behind it.Cat: A three-day weekend with the twins—space to slow down amid the school/activity whirlwind.Support the showIf this helped, share it with a friend and drop a quick ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review—it really helps others find us.Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

In this heart–forward episode, Andrew shares the shoulder injury that forced him to stop, sit still, and confront a lifelong belief that his worth equals his usefulness. Cat opens up about what it’s like to love a helper who suddenly needs help—and how “failing” often just means you’re in a season of healing, not a verdict on who you are.Expect reframes, gentle tactics for the “I’m behind” spiral, and a reminder that asking for help is a gift you give other people, too.Key takeawaysWorth ≠ productivity. North American culture often ties identity to output; this season invites you to uncouple the two.Asking for help is pro-connection, not weak. You let loved ones feel useful and deepen bonds when you receive.Reframe “failure” as a phase. Rest, rehab, and regrouping are progress—just a different speed.Contrast creates clarity. Hard seasons sharpen gratitude and reveal what really matters.Interrupt the spiral. When “I’m failing” hits, use a simple, external plan to change state (temperature, movement, environment).Practical tools you can use todayThe 3-step spiral interrupterTend the body: pain meds/tea/ice or heat, shower, fresh air.Change state: 30-minute recharge alone, short comedy clip, music, or a brisk walk.Micro-plan: one tiny win (email, stretch, refill water), then reassess.Ask like a giver: “Could you help me with X?” → remember you’re offering someone the gift of helping.Reverse-compare: stop looking only ahead; look back at how far you’ve come.Temperature hack: cold pack to neck/face or warm shower to reset your nervous system.10–10 List: write 10 things you did do today + 10 things you’re grateful for (including your body doing basics).Best-friend filter: Would you say that harsh thought to your favorite person? If not, rephrase it with kindness.Try this (5-minute prompt)Write a note to yourself that starts:“I’m not failing—I’m healing. If a friend were in my exact spot, I’d tell them…”Finish the sentence. Read it out loud.Resources mentioned & relatedFeelings Wheel – pinpoint what you’re actually feeling to respond better.Self-Compassion (Kristin Neff) – simple practices to treat yourself like a friend.Open Path Collective – affordable therapy options.The Wealthy Barber – a gentle, story-driven intro to money basics (ties into our recent money series).📧 Questions or need a nudge? [email protected]🌐 More episodes & freebies: fiveyearyou.com📸 Hang with us on IG: @fiveyearyouMemorable lines“Slowing down doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re healing what needs care.”“Asking for help is a gift. You’re letting someone you love feel useful.”“You’re not behind; you’re in a different chapter.”“Look back for proof, not just forward for gaps.”Glimmers (the little sparkly things)Andrew: The unexpected closeness with his dad & being cared for by his people.Cat: A full, memorable summer with the kids—and the flexibility to be there for family (and for Andrew).If you’re having a tougher timeIf thoughts of self-harm or hopelessness creep in, please reach out:988 (US) Suicide & Crisis LifelineTalk Suicide Canada: 1-833-456-4566 or 45645 (text, 4pm–midnight ET)You deserve support, right now.Support the showIf this helped, share the episode with one friend and leave a quick rating ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ — it really helps other listeners find us.Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Ever feel like you're following a script you didn’t write? In this episode, Andrew and Catherine crack open the idea that many of the “rules” we live by—college, career, homeownership, timelines for success—are completely made up. Some rules serve a purpose (looking at you, traffic lights), but others just keep us stuck, stressed, or chasing lives that don’t fit who we are.They talk candidly about the internal rules we adopt as children, the external expectations of adulthood, and how to start rewriting your story based on what you want—not what you were told you should want.What You’ll Learn:What “The Rules Are Fake” really meansWhy the traditional path of school → job → house → retire may not be for everyoneHow to question whether a rule is helping you or holding you backWhy homeownership and college aren't the only paths to stability or successHow internal rules (like "I should have it all figured out by 40") create anxietyThe power of rewriting your personal playbook and defining success on your own termsKey Takeaways:Some rules are helpful; others are just habits. Pause and ask: Is this true for me?College and buying a house can be amazing—but they’re not mandatory.“Should” is often a red flag. If you hear yourself say “I should…”, dig deeper.Happiness doesn’t come after you follow the rules—it comes when you live from the inside out.It’s okay to walk a different path. In fact, it might be the best decision you ever make.Your Glimmers of the Week:Catherine finds joy in morning rainbows from crystal sun-catchers, and Andrew reflects on a meaningful trip to see Ben Platt live—with a reminder that you deserve beautiful experiences too.🧭 Want to start living life by your own rules?Visit FiveYearYou.com to book a mentoring call and begin your path to intentional living.

Making friends as a grown-up isn’t as easy as it used to be. In this vulnerable and practical episode, Andrew and Catherine talk candidly about their own struggles with adult friendship—and why it's harder than it looks. From mom-friend pickup lines at the park to feeling ghosted after a good conversation, they explore what makes friendships work, how to initiate without overthinking it, and why proximity and personality play such a big role.If you’ve ever wondered “Is it just me?”—this one’s for you.What You’ll Learn:Why making friends as an adult is harder than it was in schoolHow introverts and extroverts experience friendship differentlyWhy proximity, shared interests, and vulnerability matterTwo practical ways to connect with new peopleHow to handle ghosting, rejection, or just plain busy livesWhy it’s okay (and smart) to have different friends for different parts of your lifeHow to initiate friendship without feeling awkwardThe “3 friend types” to surround yourself with for connection and growthPractical Tips From the Episode:Ask for numbers (even if it feels like dating)Reach out to old friends—just be honestBe vulnerable or be curious (ideally both!)Don’t expect one person to meet every needEmbrace diversity in age, interests, and energy levelsLet go of perfection and initiate anywayYour Glimmers of the Week:Catherine discovers the joy (and simplicity) of homemade key lime pie, and Andrew shares his excitement for summer travel plans and adventures to come.💬 Feeling isolated or struggling to find your people?You’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out solo. Visit FiveYearYou.com to explore mentorship or join the community.

We all get angry—but what do you do with it? In this candid episode, Andrew and Catherine explore the role of anger in our lives, especially when we’ve been taught to suppress it or feel shame for having it. They share deeply personal stories from childhood and parenting, unpack how anger manifests in the body, and offer practical tools for managing big emotions in healthy, non-destructive ways.From recognizing your triggers to learning how to release built-up energy before it explodes, this conversation is full of useful takeaways for anyone who wants to handle anger with more awareness and grace.What You’ll Learn:Why anger is a normal (and even necessary) emotionHow unprocessed anger can show up physically and emotionallyStrategies for defusing tension in the moment (even if you’re at a 10!)The importance of self-awareness and communicating your emotional stateSafe and effective ways to release anger—without harming relationshipsHow to identify when anger has turned into something more dangerousResources & Mentions:Box breathing techniqueRebounding for emotional releaseThe power of 30 minutes alone (Catherine’s go-to reset strategy)Creating a calm home when you’re a sensory-sensitive parentThe “Instant Pot” analogy for pressure and emotional releaseDomestic violence resources (linked in show notes)Disclaimer:Anger is human. Violence is not. If someone in your life is harming you physically, emotionally, or verbally, please seek help. Your safety matters. We’ve included crisis resources in the episode description.Your Glimmer of the Week:Andrew and Catherine share a light-hearted recap of their recent in-person visit, Canadian winter survival tips, and how creating new traditions can feel just as meaningful as honoring old ones.🔗 Need help managing big emotions or want to work on your emotional health?Visit FiveYearYou.com to book a free coaching call.

In this episode of the Five Year You podcast, we dive into the framework we created called The Layers of Life. This model helps you understand the difference between living a life on autopilot and living a life on purpose—from your soul outward.We’ll walk you through the five layers:Soul – your essence and spiritual centerSelf – your emotional, mental, and physical well-beingSocial – your relationships and sense of communitySubstance – how you spend your time, career, and lifestyleSignificance – your environment, achievements, and influenceIf you've ever felt like something’s missing—like you’re living from the outside in—this episode will help you re-center and start living from the inside out. We share personal stories, examples, and tiny actions to help you reconnect with your authentic self.✨ FREE RESOURCEDownload our Layers of Life visual guide:https://fiveyearu.com/layers-of-life💌 Stay connectedEmail us anytime at: [email protected]’d love to hear what pizza crust you like… or what part of your soul you’re ready to rediscover.🔗 Other LinksWebsite: https://fiveyearyou.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouPodcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5YearYouPodcast on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/five-year-you

Feeling burnt out or constantly critical of yourself? In this episode, we explore how becoming your own best friend can radically transform your life, mindset, and self-worth. Learn how to talk to yourself with more compassion, set better boundaries, and build a life rooted in inner support—not just external validation.⏱️ Episode Timestamps00:00 - Intro: A message to the burnt-out overachiever02:14 - What does it mean to be your own best friend?04:51 - The difference between self-care and self-respect07:36 - Why high-achievers often struggle with self-compassion12:05 - “If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself”14:22 - Steps to stop being your own worst critic17:47 - Internal validation vs. external chasing21:30 - The surprising power of treating yourself kindly📚 Resources & Mentions:→ Listen to all episodes of the podcast: https://fiveyearyou.com/podcast→ Free tool: Create your Five Year You plan: https://fiveyearyou.com/free→ Our favorite book on inner dialogue: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself by Shad Helmstetter→ Need a reset? Try the Life Reboot Intensive: https://fiveyearyou.com/reboot📝 Want to Work With Us?We help high-achieving, purpose-driven people redesign their lives from the inside out.Book your complimentary mentoring call: https://fiveyearyou.com/call📩 Let’s ConnectHave a question or want to share a glimmer? Email us: [email protected] us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

We’ve all faced money stress — but what if solving financial problems could actually feel… empowering? In this episode, Andrew and Catherine share a simple 3-step framework to help you approach money issues without shame, panic, or overwhelm. Whether you're dealing with debt, budgeting challenges, or cash flow confusion, this episode will help you feel calm, clear, and ready to take action.💬 What You’ll Learn:Why shame keeps us stuck in money problemsA simple 3-step framework: Define the problem, Zoom out, Take the next right stepHow to stay grounded when emotions flare upWhy solving money problems is rarely about “just making more”How your nervous system affects your financial clarityThe importance of basic needs, especially when money is tight🛠️ Tools + Resources Mentioned:📌 Feelings Wheel – To name and process emotions related to money🔗 https://feelingswheel.com📌 The Wealthy Barber – A storytelling-based book on financial basics🔗 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0761513116?tag=5yy-20📌 Open Path Collective – Affordable therapy when you’re feeling stuck🔗 https://openpathcollective.org📌 Five Year You Coaching – Find purpose, peace, and financial clarity🔗 https://fiveyearyou.com✨ Want More Support?📬 Email us → [email protected]🌐 Website → https://fiveyearyou.com🎙 Subscribe for More Real Conversations:▶️ YouTube → https://youtube.com/@FiveYearYou📸 Instagram → https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou🎧 Podcast Feed → https://fiveyearyou.com/podcastAffiliate Disclaimer:Some links in this description may be affiliate links. As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases using store ID amp09-20 and tracking ID 5yy-20. This helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you. Thank you!

In this episode of Five Year You, Andrew and Catherine unpack the five most important ingredients for real, lasting wealth. Spoiler: it's not just about money. From redefining what wealth truly means to managing cash flow and building meaningful relationships, this conversation blends personal growth with financial wisdom.💡 What You’ll Learn:– The difference between being rich and being truly wealthy– Why contentment is the foundation of wealth– How to define your version of success and stop chasing “more”– The importance of managing your cash flow and creating margin– A simple way to start investing (even if you’re overwhelmed)– Why connection and health are underrated wealth indicators🛠️ Tools + Resources Mentioned:📌 The Wealthy Barber – A beginner-friendly money book told in story form🔗 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0761513116📌 Index Fund Investing Basics – Learn how to invest without needing to be an expert🔗 https://www.investor.gov/introduction-investing/investing-basics✨ Want more support?Let’s build your version of wealth together.📬 [email protected]🌐 https://fiveyearyou.com🎙 Subscribe for more real conversations:▶️ YouTube: https://youtube.com/@FiveYearYou📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou🎧 Podcast: https://fiveyearyou.com/podcast/

Feeling stuck financially? In this episode, Andrew and Catherine share a simple but powerful framework to help you get unstuck and solve your most pressing money problems. Whether you're facing debt, income challenges, or budgeting issues, this conversation will give you clarity, direction, and hope.💡 What You’ll Learn:– Why most money stress comes from overwhelm, not just income– A 3-step framework to break down financial problems– How to shift from panic to action– Real-life stories and examples from people who’ve turned their finances around– Practical mindset shifts that will help you feel more in control🛠️ Tools + Resources Mentioned:📌 Feelings Wheel – Helps you name the emotions behind money stress🔗 https://feelingswheel.com📌 The Wealthy Barber – A beginner-friendly book about money told as a story🔗 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0761513116📌 Open Path Collective – Affordable therapy to support your emotional well-being🔗 https://openpathcollective.org📌 Five Minute Budget System – Our simple approach to tracking spending and creating margin🔗 https://fiveyearyou.com/free-budget✨ Need personalized support?We help people break free from money stress and find clarity and peace.📬 Email us: [email protected]🌐 Explore our resources: https://fiveyearyou.com🎙 Subscribe for real, relatable conversations every week:▶️ YouTube: https://youtube.com/@FiveYearYou📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou🎧 Podcast: https://fiveyearyou.com/podcast

Hosts: Andrew Dewar & Catherine CollinsIf you've ever told yourself, “I'll feel better once I hit $100K... or when I finally save enough…” — this episode is for you.Because the truth is, worthiness doesn’t come after you get wealthy.It’s how you get there.💬 What You'll Learn:What “wealth” really means — and why it’s different for everyoneHow childhood money messages quietly shape your sense of self-worthThe surprising connection between time, peace, and prosperityPractical ways to build a life that feels wealthy nowHow generosity and self-kindness attract abundance🔑 Favorite Quotes:“Contentment is the ultimate wealth.”“Treating yourself with kindness raises your financial vibration.”“You were born worthy — the world just made you forget.”“Stop chasing the number. Start creating the feeling.”“If you want to feel rich, go for a wealth walk.”✨ Glimmers of the Week:Cat: Took the most glorious mid-morning nap while her kids roamed freely at the fair — a true mom milestone. 😴Andrew: Honored his dad on Father’s Day for showing it's never too late to grow. 👨‍👦🛠️ Resources Mentioned:Mom’s Got Money by Catherine Collins → https://amzn.to/3USZzRnMuscle testing & energy clearing work → https://fiveyearyou.comOur 5-Layer Framework for personal transformation → https://fiveyearyou.com🔗 Join the Journey:👉 Book a FREE Coaching Call → https://fiveyearyou.com📧 Email us → [email protected]📸 Instagram → https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou📣 Share This With Someone Who:Is redefining their relationship with moneyIs learning to let go of guilt around earning moreNeeds a reminder: you don’t have to do anything to be worthyThanks for being one of the brave ones.You're not chasing money. You're reclaiming your peace.And that’s a kind of wealth no one can take away. 🙏📌 Affiliate Disclaimer: Some links in this description may be affiliate links. As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases through the Five Year You store (store ID: amp09-20, tracking ID: 5yy-20). This comes at no extra cost to you and helps support the podcast. Thank you!#WealthMindset #MoneyHealing #SelfWorth #Abundance #PersonalGrowth #FiveYearYou #FinancialFreedom #ContentmentIsWealth #TimeFreedom #WorthyOfWealth #SpiritualMoneyHealing #MoneyConfidence #SelfCompassion

Hosts: Andrew Dewar & Catherine CollinsLet’s talk about one of the most common (and unspoken) fears: money. Whether you're afraid of not having enough, messing it up, or not knowing where to start — this episode is your guide to facing those fears with clarity and confidence.🧠 What You'll Learn:Why even wealthy people are still scared of moneyThe surprising psychology behind “bag lady syndrome”How fear of money is tied to survival instinctsThe first step to financial peace — and why it’s the hardestHow to reframe money talk (with yourself and others)🔑 Key Takeaways:Awareness is the starting point — know your numbersFear thrives in the unknown — clarity calms the nervous systemFind community and accountability — you don’t have to do it aloneCreate a vision — get clear on the life you’re buildingTalk kindly to yourself — your money story is still being written💬 Quotes We Loved:“Discomfort now creates peace later.”“One email could save you $600 — or get you a refund.”“Being afraid of money doesn’t mean you’re bad with it — it means you're human.”“You don’t need to face it all today. Just take the first step.”“Your future self is already cheering you on.”✨ Glimmers of the Week:Cat: Negotiated her rent increase down with just one email. 🙌Andrew: Resisted buying a neurofeedback gadget that didn’t fit his head — progress, not perfection. 💡🛠️ Resources Mentioned:Mom’s Got Money by Catherine Collins → https://amzn.to/3USZzRnThe Wealthy Barber by David Chilton → https://amzn.to/3UMi6MpFIRE Movement (Financial Independence, Retire Early) → https://www.choosefi.com/what-is-fi/🔗 Join the Journey:👉 Book a FREE Clarity Call → https://fiveyearyou.com📧 Email us → [email protected]📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouYou’re doing better than you think.Every time you face your fear, your future gets a little brighter.Thanks for being one of the brave ones. 🙏#ScaredOfMoney #FiveYearYou #PersonalFinancePodcast #MoneyMindset #FinancialHealing #BagLadySyndrome #FIREMovement #MoneyAnxiety #RewritingYourMoneyStory #BudgetingWithoutShame

In this episode of Five Year You, we’re talking about what it means to live in uncertain times—and how to stay calm, grounded, and intentional even when the world feels like it’s spinning. Andrew and Catherine share honest insights about fear, control, emotional overwhelm, and how to come back to yourself through small, powerful actions.💡 What You’ll Learn:– Why uncertainty is harder right now than it’s been in years– How to take back control over your inner calm– Simple ways to simplify when everything feels like too much– Why community and connection help regulate anxiety– The power of the feelings wheel, ChatGPT, and movement– What to do if it’s more than you can handle on your own🛠️ Tools + Resources Mentioned:📌 The Feelings Wheel – A free emotional regulation tool that helps you name and process what you’re feeling🔗 https://feelingswheel.com📌 ChatGPT – Use it to journal, ask questions, or start talking when you're not ready for therapy🔗 https://chat.openai.com📌 The Secret Language of the Body by Inna Segal – A book on emotional healing through physical release🔗 https://www.amazon.com/dp/1582702608📌 Sliding Scale Therapy – Many therapists adjust pricing based on income. Check out:🔗 https://openpathcollective.org📌 Free Mental Health Resources – Community-based and accessible therapy options in the U.S. and Canada🔗 https://findahelpline.com✨ Want more support?We’d love to hear from you.📬 [email protected]🌐 https://fiveyearyou.com🎙 Subscribe for more honest conversations:▶️ YouTube: https://youtube.com/@FiveYearYou📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou🎧 Podcast: https://fiveyearyou.com/podcast

Hosts: Andrew Dewar & Catherine CollinsIn this powerful starter episode, we strip self-improvement down to its roots: small, gentle changes. If you've ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure where to begin your growth journey, this one's for you.You don’t need a 5 a.m. cold plunge or a 90-minute gym routine to change your life.You just need a first step — and this is it.💬 What You'll Learn:Why basic needs are your foundation for lasting changeHow subtracting (not just adding) creates transformationThe “5 Year You” vision exercise that makes personal growth clear and motivatingSimple ways to regulate your emotions and improve mental clarityWhat a bedtime routine for adults can teach you about self-worth🛠️ Resources Mentioned:Mendi Brain Trainer (neurofeedback headband) → https://amzn.to/3UAA5XSFive Year You coaching program (Week 1–5) → https://fiveyearyou.comMagic Mornings habit stack → https://fiveyearyou.com✨ Glimmers of the Week:Cat: Free dressers on the side of the road? YES, please. Her inner thrifter is sparkling ✨Andrew: Discovered the Mendi neurofeedback device and is now laser-focused (and geeked out). 🧠💡 Key Quotes:“Improving yourself starts with taking a shower.”“Don’t chase routines you can’t maintain. Start tiny.”“You already have what it takes. You just forgot.”“Your ego will resist change. Do it anyway.”“Subtraction is also self-improvement. Take something away.”🧭 Take the First Step:👉 Book a FREE Coaching Call → https://fiveyearyou.com📧 Email us → [email protected]📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou📣 This Episode Is Perfect For:Anyone feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to beginListeners struggling with guilt or burnoutPeople who need permission to start smallYou don’t need to earn your worth.You don’t need to fix your whole life today.You just need to love yourself enough to take the next step.We're with you.📌 Affiliate Disclaimer: Some links in this description are affiliate links. As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases using the Five Year You store ID: amp09-20 and tracking ID: 5yy-20. This comes at no extra cost to you and supports the show. Thank you!#SelfImprovement #StartSmall #FiveYearYou #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #HabitChange #MagicMornings #BasicNeeds #VisionWork #AdultBedtimeRoutine #YouAreWorthy

Disappointment is part of being human — but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. In this episode, we unpack how to actually deal with the daily (and devastating) letdowns of life — without losing yourself or spiraling.🧠 What You'll Learn:A compassionate definition of disappointment (hint: it’s unmet expectations)Why disappointment hurts more when you internalize itThe difference between processing vs. avoiding painWhy your disappointment is likely tied to control or safetyHow to express hurt to others without damaging your relationshipsThe power of reframing setbacks as invitations for something better💡 Real-Life Insights:What to say to someone who constantly cancels plansHow Andrew and Cat are teaching their kids to ask for what they needWhy expressing disappointment in a kind, clear way can actually strengthen relationshipsThe mind-body impact of suppressing negative emotions✅ Our Go-To Reframes:“Rejection is protection.”“I’m not upset — I’m just disappointed.”“There must be something better coming.”“This didn’t define my worth — I’m still me.”“What if this is an invitation for something I couldn’t see yet?”🛠️ Tools to Work Through Disappointment:✍️ Journaling: Don’t let unspoken emotion fester🧘 Deep Breathing or a Walk: Move the energy through you🎯 Core Values: Anchor into who you are, not what happened💬 Honest Conversations: Kindly express what let you down🧠 Curiosity: “I wonder what this situation is trying to teach me?”✨ Glimmers of the Week:Cat: A wild “May-cember” day suddenly opened up — less chaos, more music, and her daughter’s orchestra concert.Andrew: His son finally gets to go fishing, and his daughter is graduating. A proud and peaceful parenting week.💬 Want Help Navigating Life’s Letdowns?If you’ve been stuck in a loop of disappointment — with people, plans, or yourself — you don’t have to stay there. Five Year You coaching can help you reframe, rebuild, and rediscover your path.👉 Book a Clarity Call → https://fiveyearyou.com📧 Email us → [email protected]📸 Follow us → https://instagram.com/fiveyearyouRemember:Disappointment isn’t failure — it’s feedback.It’s not a signal that you’re broken — it’s an opportunity to build a deeper relationship with yourself.Feel it, learn from it, release it.#FiveYearYou #DisappointmentRecovery #MindsetShift #SelfCompassion #EmotionalResilience #LetdownRecovery #RejectionIsProtection #GrowthMindset #PersonalDevelopmentPodcast #MindBodyConnection

Hosts: Andrew Dewar & Catherine CollinsEver feel like you're stuck in a loop of “I’ll do it later”? You're not alone. In this episode, we unpack why procrastination isn’t a character flaw — it’s part of being human. And more importantly, we share real strategies (and deep compassion) to help you take that first step forward.🧠 What You'll Learn:Why procrastination is not laziness — it’s actually how your brain protects youHow procrastination is often a self-worth issue in disguiseThe science behind why starting is the hardest partWhy “future you” is your best productivity hackThe tools, systems, and mindset shifts we use to get things done without burnoutHow scaffolding and environment design beat willpower every time✅ Practical Tips We Share:The “Future Me” Hack: Leave little love notes for tomorrow’s youLight the First Log: Do the smallest possible action to build momentumHabit Stacking (from Atomic Habits)The 5-Minute Rule: If it takes less than 5 minutes, do it nowEnvironmental Scaffolding: Use cues like headphones or a clean desk to trigger deep workThe Magic of Timing Tasks: Most dreaded tasks take less time than you thinkApp & Tech Tools for focus and productivity📱 Tools We Mention:📱 Opal App – Focus tool that blocks distractions on your phonehttps://www.opal.so🎧 Brain.fm (Free YouTube Version) – Binaural beats to help you focushttps://www.youtube.com/@BrainfmApp📖 Atomic Habits by James Clearhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/0735211299?tag=5yy-20📖 Hidden Potential by Adam Granthttps://www.amazon.com/dp/0593653141?tag=5yy-20💬 Our Favorite Mantras:“Future me will thank me for this.”“Light the first log.”“Progress beats perfection.”“If it’s less than five minutes, do it now.”“You're not behind — you're just beginning.”✨ Glimmers of the Week:Cat: Finally scheduled a dentist appointment that’s been on the list for a year.Andrew: His daughter received two scholarships — proof that effort pays off.🧭 Want Support With Procrastination or Clarity?If you know what you want to do, but keep putting it off, coaching may help. We specialize in helping people get unstuck, build momentum, and create a life they love — one day at a time.👉 Book a Clarity Call → https://fiveyearyou.com📧 Email us → [email protected]📸 Follow us → https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou⚠️ Reminder:You’re not lazy — you’re just tired, overwhelmed, or misaligned. Give yourself grace, use the right tools, and take one small step today.#StopProcrastinating #FiveYearYou #SelfWorthJourney #ProductivityTips #AtomicHabits #MindsetShift #DeepWork #OvercomeOverwhelm #BinauralBeats #FocusTools