Grey and Grounded

Stress it’s not just soldiers—it’s first responders, survivors, men who’ve been laid off, divorced, lost loved ones, or even dealt with years of abuse, violence, or stress.B is riding solo today, while Steve is out saving NYC from stranded passangers....no he's actually at work. B is sharing his thoughts on this special day. Steve and Brian will be back.

It's the last of my solo podcast. I am sliding over and making room for a good brother of mine Steve D! as the new cohost! It's been a short, but trying journey, thanks for sticking with me, stay tuned there is lots more to come!

Marcus Aurelius begins the day by acknowledging that he will encounter difficult people—those who are "busybody, ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial." He frames this not as a cause for anger or frustration but as a natural occurrence stemming from ignorance of good and evil. 

I was not going to record today, but I read something that I really wanted to get across to all of you. It's about resolutions.

Book 1 of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is a reflection on gratitude and the virtues of those who influenced the emperor. In this book, Marcus credits his mentors, family members, and other figures for shaping his character and values. He outlines lessons learned from each, emphasizing traits like integrity, self-discipline, justice, humility, and a focus on the common good.

It's been a crazy year folks! But I am still here alive and kickin'!! I have got a lot of changes in the works for you this year with Grey and Grounded. Journey with me as I relate one of my favorite books Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and relate it to some of my everyday trials and tribulations. I plan on having some really great one on ones' with some great people. I know I know, I said that last year, but THIS year it will happen. We got a new website with show notes and everything! I have much much more! Thanks for sticking around. LET'S GO!!!.

There’s something profoundly serene about standing on the lush greens of a golf course, feeling the breeze gently rustling through the trees, and hearing the satisfying click of a well-struck ball, not mine but with those playing around me... For many of us, the game of golf is less about mastering the sport and more about savoring the experience, somewhat like a fine cigar, or a good bourbon. Sure, I might not be the next Tiger Woods, or Steve Stricker, but, hey! I wouldn’t trade the little time I have on the course for anything.

Expect more of yourself, in order to be tolerate of others. In everyday dealings with others, your values should be your guide. #mindfulness #personalgrowth #greyngrounded #mesagetomysons #alwayslearning

The saying "time heals all wounds" may or may not be true, but time does give us a chance to look at a particular situation in a diffferent "light" as we grow we can then look at it as a different person, and in that, we can heal, learn, and grow. #greyngrounded #mindfullnes #mesagetomysons #lifelessons

The worse thing you can do is to stoop down to the level of those who wish you ill will, and harm. Eagles only fly down when they have to take out their prey.#greyngrounded #amorfati #mesagetomysons #mindfulness #personalgrowth #mindfullnes

Being rich is not in needing alot of money, or fine clothes, big houses and fancy cars, it is not having the need for all of that and still be content with what you already have. #greyngrounded #amorfati #mindfulness #mesagetomysons

Remembrer, memento mori

What stands in the way becomes the way. I've always found the best way to deal with tough times is to be just as tough. Do not shrink in the face of adversity, or turn a blind eye. or a deaf ear. We all have problems, we will continue to have them until the day we leave this world. Do not waste your time in wallow attack the problem so you don't waste what little prescious time we have waiting to fix something.

I like the old adage, of hate the sin but still love the sinner. We should try to be tolerant of others, with the views, their ideas, their personalities. We can let them into our lives, but within limits. We should be tough on ourselves and our working on our on selves. That is what we should be focusing on. I have done a good job at this for the most part. What about you? Join me on the journey.

 It's through the books that we read, where we can really talk to people who are no longer with us. Though they may be gone, but in the pages of a book, those persons we are reading about are alive and well, and their memory lives on.

The Stoics say Amor Fati, love your fate. Whatever will happen has already been planned already. How you respond to that action is all you can control.

We should always be asking ourselves as to what we are doing whether it be at the moment, with a task, with our lives, "is this necessary?" How much time is spent on things that are not necessary, that wastes our time, and takes away from living and being? Let's take this journey together.

In everything we do we must make beautiful choices. The choices we make not only define what we do, but who we are at that moment and for the future.

Decide to do one thing everyday, that is beneficial.

Marcus Aurelius' quote in Meditations: "The World is nothing but change. Our life is only perception." We are always changing, growing, learning. Are we the same person after that? Are we a brand new person, or are we the same person only wiser for having been through a certain event? I think we need to be fluid like the universe ever bending to the actions of the universe but strong enough to weather the storm and continue sailing on.

I am always careful with this rule, because people may take it the wrong way. But treating successes and failures the same way is important to understand. Never to high, never too low. Be grateful, happy, but understand that it won't last and we should be mindful of not letting external circumstances dictate our mindset or well being.

We all get sucked down the rabbit hole of imagined troubles causing anxiety, and depression. We need to be mindful of this.

Everyday can be a struggle to get anxious about everything, finance, jobs, family, health. But these things are not in our control. What is? Our reaction to these events. This is what we can control.

I feel it is really important to start the day off right, no matter how that is. We need to Own The Morning, in order to Win and Conquer the day.

I think failure is doing wrong when you know it’s wrong or you know you are doing wrong at that moment. I would tell my children and I still do, I can’t get angry at you when you do something wrong that you don’t know- because you don’t know that it’s wrong. BUT..If I teach you that it’s wrong and I teach you the right way and the right thing to do, but you do the wrong anyway…Well then there’s a problem.

We must try to remember that we are all part of the same community. We must think of the beehive, and not always of ourselves.

We work hard, we sacrifice we deserve some time off, a vacation, a little couch and TV time. But I also think that when we take that vacation, or take that day to breathe and step back we need to still be working on ourselves. Take a book with you, work on your mental health, learn some breathing exercises, a time out is always a good idea and needed. But as Seneca says, “leisure without study is death- a tomb for the living person.” 

Marcus aurelius said “it isn’t manly to be enraged”. Yeah, easier said then done. He says “ rather gentleness and civility are more humane, and therefore manlier”. A real man doesn’t give way to rage and discontent. He is squared in his actions, tempered in his temperament and focused with his thoughts. He goes on to say “the nearer a man come to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength”.

Seneca says, “show me someone who isn’t a slave! One is a slave to lust, another to greed, another to power , and all are slaves to fear. He goes on to say “No servitude is more abject than the self-imposed”.  What it is in our daily lives that we think we can’t live without? What is it that we just have to. Have? What be calling us? I know for me most morning is that first piping hot cup of coffee, and some quite time of reading or writing it’s purely psycho-somatic, but I still feel somewhat off sometimes when I don’t have one, and sometimes I don’t read or write but just sit and watch TV because I am put off by no coffee.  What else is it that we are addicted to? Our routines, are phone, our cars, wealth, power, what else keeps us in chains?  Epictetus says “anyone who truly wants to be free, won’t desire something that is actually in someone else’s control, unless they want to be a slave”. All these things that we feel that we need or can’t do without can be taken away from us in an instant, we can lose the car, lose our wealth, and run out of coffee…God forbid!  What then our you left with? Are you your desires, or are you more than that?  Routines are good we are all sometimes creatures of habit, but we shouldn’t get dependent on that, the one thing that is constant is change. And we should embrace that in parts of our lives. Would it be so bad to have to downsize our SUV if it means we can get save more money? Would it be so bad to take a slight pay cut in the field of your passion if it meant moving to a great city, and the opportunity to meet new people? Do you always need the latest, biggest and newest thing? What are you living for, that object or your objective? AMOR FATISeneca says, “show me someone who isn’t a slave! One is a slave to lust, another to greed, another to power , and all are slaves to fear. He goes on to say “No servitude is more abject than the self-imposed”.  What it is in our daily lives that we think we can’t live without? What is it that we just have to. Have? What be calling us? I know for me most morning is that first piping hot cup of coffee, and some quite time of reading or writing it’s purely psycho-somatic, but I still feel somewhat off sometimes when I don’t have one, and sometimes I don’t read or write but just sit and watch TV because I am put off by no coffee.  What else is it that we are addicted to? Our routines, are phone, our cars, wealth, power, what else keeps us in chains?  Epictetus says “anyone who truly wants to be free, won’t desire something that is actually in someone else’s control, unless they want to be a slave”. All these things that we feel that we need or can’t do without can be taken away from us in an instant, we can lose the car, lose our wealth, and run out of coffee…God forbid!  What then our you left with? Are you your desires, or are you more than that?  Routines are good we are all sometimes creatures of habit, but we shouldn’t get dependent on that, the one thing that is constant is change. And we should embrace that in parts of our lives. Would it be so bad to have to downsize our SUV if it means we can get save more money? Would it be so bad to take a slight pay cut in the field of your passion if it meant moving to a great city, and the opportunity to meet new people? Do you always need the latest, biggest and newest thing? What are you living for, that object or your objective? AMOR FATI

So, you may have seen my Daily Thoughts on Instagram, now I am bringing you my stoic journey. The 2000 year old philosophy that teaches us to focus on the things we can control—our thoughts, emotions, and actions—while accepting the things we cannot, such as the actions of others or the natural course of events going on in the world around us. My Stoic Journey are my interpretations on various stoic sayings from Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and other philosophers. There is a great book by Ryan Holiday- The Daily Stoic 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and The Art of Living. It’s wonderful daily journal of stoic meditations that helps you understand how to use the 2000 year old philosophical teachings in your everyday modern life. Holiday has made it easy to understand and really brings a 21st century understanding to a ancient philosophy. So I walk with me on my daily stoic journey. 

Aristotle is credited with the quote: I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self. Today we ask the question and discuss how we measure sucess.

We all go through hard times, we all have moments of doubt, anger, and sometimes hopelessness. But how do we go on? How do we persevere through those hard times? Ryan Holiday of the Daily Stoic always tell the story of Admiral James Stockdale who was held captive in Hanoi, North Vietnam. He was sent to a war camp that was famous for its brutal treatment of prisoners.  What got him through more than 7 years of imprisonment?  Stoicism.  Stoicism not only helped Stockdale get through his imprisonment, but it helped him refrain from betraying himself and his country. He was able to internally uphold his moral code. He accepted the fact that he could not control his external circumstances. Instead, he mastered his internal dialogue and feelings.  Now, we are not prisoners of war or being held hostage, but I know, from personal experience that it can feel that way sometimes. Being a prisoner of your own mind, of your seemed to be no way out situation that you find yourself in at the time. Today we will discuss what my friends the Stoics say about Perseverance and some of the things I have done to adapt and overcome. “We suffer not from the events in our lives, but from our judgment about them.” — Epictetus 

The Stoics teach us Memento mori (remember you must die) we are mortal and this is what we must do but they also teach us  memento vivere (remember we must live) remember to live your life, enjoy every moment, cherish your time here for it is destined to end. That is the nature of things, that is the will of the grand architect of life.

Welcome to Grey and Grounded, where we talk to men 50 and over..about being 50 and over. We talk family, friends, faith, money and more all in about 20 minutes. In our first episode we get jump right in and discuss how it is to be 50, our mentality, our changes, what is happening to our bodies and mind, and the things that help me cope with the constant change. Join me as we jump (carefully) into grown folk talk.