Life Lessons with Indie Wrytes

There's a quote by Pearl Bailey that says, "A crown, if it hurts, is not worth wearing." We've taken the label "selfless" and turned it into a crown that inevitably hurts us; a badge of honor that dishonors our own needs and desires. Understand, there is no honor in having little to no concern for one's self and focusing on the needs and warfare of others. How can you adequately take care of anyone if you are falling apart? You can't. You're doing yourself and the people are trying to love a disservice by deprioritizing yourself to make them happy and comfortable, because the more you do, the more is expected.This lesson is about making yourself a priority again and letting people figure it out. Not being careless, but caring less about what everyone else needs are before you care about your own.Let's get into it!

Making love is better when you're naked, but so is sharing love.Have you ever been skin to skin WITH intention with a person you love? This is a feeling that not much compares to. Imagine that feeling in emotional and mental forms. Not just skin uncovered, but hearts unguarded, souls unhidden; two people present enough to be completely seen.Naked in love is skin without layers, nothing hidden, nothing between you and the other person. The deeper nakedness; the kind where the soul is uncovered.In this lesson, we’ll explore what it means to share love from a place of true vulnerability, and how we begin the journey of getting there, there being NAKED.Let's get into it.

Since the beginning of time, girls and women have been split into two impossible categories and identities: the Good Girl  and the Bad Girl. The "good girl" - she's obedient, self-sacrificing, and pleasing and the "bad girl" - she's rebellious, outspoken, risky, and “too much.” Me, Indie, I was the "Bad Girl." However, most women carry both inside of us, but we naturally, and sometimes forcefully, lean more into one or the other depending on who we are at our core and the expectations of our environments. They both come with their own set of stigmas, shame, and judgement, so we actually never win when we stay in this confines of these expectations.This lesson explores how these inner identities are formed through natural propensity, family expectations and dynamics, experiences, culture, religion, relationships, and survival; how they silently shape our choices in love, work, self-worth, and so much more. We'll also discuss how we break out of these CAGES and finally get free!Let's get into it!

Let’s talk CAPACITY and BOUNDARIES! Let’s be real here… they are the unsung heroes of every healthy relationship and an overall healthy life!How many times have you modified your capacity or altogether axed your boundaries to accommodate other people? How did that end? Terrible? I know. Same!In this episode, we’re going to have a little conversation about a big problem plaguing people, women and men, universally. Learning to protect your capacity by setting boundaries and sticking to them, even when it’s inconvenient. This is the lesson we all NEED to learn in order to have healthy relationships with ourselves and others.Let’s get into it!

After a two-year hiatus, we are officially back!! Ready to teach, share, and continue learning the life lessons that really matter.It only felt right to start with an open conversation about where I’ve been… and whew, chile. Life has been LIFE-ing, and the lessons have been lessoning all across my universe.In this episode, we’re simply catching up. From professional shifts, to motherhood, to the deeply personal, I’m sharing it all, candidly, before we dive back into the lessons ahead.Let’s get into it!

In this episode we take a look at what expectations really are and look for the answers to the question, "do expectations ruin relationships?" I hear and read so much about how expectations ruin relationships. When I first read and heard this, I thought that it was very misleading and more harmful to our happiness within relationships. So, I decided to really look into what expectations really are and after reading, I thought to myself, is it expectations alone that ruin relationships or is it unhealthy, unfair, & unrealistic expectations that destroy and ravage relationships? This is where standards come in. Setting a foundation for what we know we need and desire in relationships. Our standards become guides that lead us to what we want and what we don't want. Listen and let's get into it!

In this episode we talk about the influence of LOVE & FREEDOM! There are so many things that we build hope and fidelity in. This includes people, relationships, careers, even our own bodies and abilities, but today we’re going to focus on people and relationships. We make space for people out of need, desire, connection, companionship, attraction, and compatibility, right? We spend time getting to know people and we trust, we place our reliance on and in them and move with the presumption they’re being honest about who they say they are and what they say they want and how they say they feel. That's a huge risk, but we take it anyway! Why?? Because, it is our human nature to desire love; to give it and to receive it. Let's get into it with this lesson!

In this episode we discuss The Journey Back To Ourselves. Where does it start? WHY does it start? How do we recognize when we’ve lost ourselves? What are the indicators? One night I was journaling about some experiences that I was going through and attempting to understand and conceptualize the feelings I was having, which lead to me ask myself all of the aforementioned questions. I, then, went on to write down eight questions that opened so many things up for me and I'm sharing those things with you in this lesson. Have your notebook and your pen ready. You'll need to write these down to ask yourself!

In this episode, we discuss intimacy. What is intimacy? Do you create intimacy, do you invite it, or does it naturally happen through connection? What does it mean? How does it look? How does it feel? What are the initiators of true intimacy? What is false intimacy and what are the signs of false intimacy? Intimacy is one of the most overused, while being simultaneously misused, words in the world right now. We think intimacy means sex, we’ve deduced and reduced it to something explicitly physical and sexual when intimacy, in its most euphoric form, is not limited to the physical at all. If anything, it causes the physical and sexual side of itself to manifest in a much more gratifying, sensual, and passionate way. There is so much pleasure in TRUE intimacy, right? But, have you ever experienced the betrayal of false intimacy? We're going to talk about both the beauty and the beast of both in this episode.

Welcome to Season 4 of the Life Lessons Podcast! We're starting this season off where everything starts: CHOICE! And, in order to make a choice, you first have to have a made-up mind. So many of US don't realize we don't make choices with CONSCIOUS INTENTION! Our choices are often made out of desperation and short term relief. Question: how often have you made choices without even processing the picture that you would like to see the choice develop? When you're taking a picture, you pose based on what you want to see reflected back after the moment is gone and the picture is taken. You choose your expression, your background, your garb based on what you want to be translated from your mind and the moment to the picture, right? We have to start using this same principle when it comes to life choices. First thinking and considering what we want see when we "look back at it." Then, only placing ourselves in positions and around things that yield the best outcome or sketch what we foresaw in our minds. Making sure the outcomes match the desires! Making choices that feed your passions, not your phobias. Let's talk about it.

We all have experiences in life, some good some challenging, however we don't have to allow those experiences to dictate what we expect and the results we receive. It may have gone this way last time the experience happened, but that doesn't mean it HAS to go the same way when it comes back around. In this episode, I speak about the lessons I have learned in marriage, divorce, and primary parenting and the importance of  finding those lessons in the things we experience and then being adamant about changing our fate.

In this episode, I talk about learning to keep moving when we need to and also learning to trust and let go when we need to. Sometimes, we feel the need to control things and hold them. We fear what might happen if we let go, even for a moment. Surrender takes more strength than movement in some moments. Yet, as we surrender, we find ourselves being able to hear more clearly. When we float, when we trust the foundation underneath us, we can find peace and answers there.

In this episode I Am discussing the inevitability of relationships/partnerships. Do you believe it is predestined and almost certain that your relationships will start off great, yet experience inescapable declination? Are we stuck in a continuum of defeat no matter who we are having the experience with? I deeply believe in the ability and strength of Love. To me, it is the infinite power of God, that is with and within us. Even though I've experienced heartbreak, betrayal, and divorce I still trust in Love and believe that I will experience it in it's fullest.   I also speak on the need for us to become more proactive instead of reactive when it comes to matters of the heart. Being just as visionary with relationships as we are with careers. Having the same expectations of growth and success for our current partnerships as we do our currency. I believe when you find the right fit, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE TO THEM THAT BELIEVE. I believe the potential for that relationship does not come without opposition, but the opportunity is greater depending, on your focus. What you SEE, is what you GET. What are you looking FORWARD to? Greatness or grief? Take a listen. 

In this episode I go a little further into my experiences with divorce and some of the reasons. DIVORCE IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT. It's such a painful experience for you and if there's kids involved, it's even deeper. But, sometimes, you have to put away the fear of "what if" and be more afraid of "what is." I was more afraid of things being the same way they'd been for the past 6 years, than I was about how they would be for the next 6 if I didn't make the choice to choose myself. I Am not a divorce advocate, I Am an advocate of self-love, self-preservation, self-appreciation, true happiness, and fulfillment. My life, your life, our lives should be joyful. We should be experiencing connections that bring us closer to ourselves, not further away. Being the mother of 2 girls, I understood the importance of not only telling my daughters they need to love and stand up for themselves, but also the importance of showing them what that looks like, even when the choice is hard. 

Welcome back to the Life Lessons PodCLASS! This season I will be sharing my experiences and the lessons I've acquired through those experiences over the past year. This first episode is about my journey into PRIMARY PARENTING. How I've had to learn a new way of parenting and living, altogether. How I've had to navigate my own healing while trying to help and nurture my girls through their own. Finding ways to help my oldest daughter release the things she's felt through this process has been paramount for me and also a HUGE lesson on not needing to be the "good guy." I share tips and advise other women/men who are in the thick of primary parenting, and those who may have friends, siblings, or extended family members that may be trying to find a balance with it.  Welcome Back! Class is in session!

This episode is based around a conversation I was having with someone about a clip from a show she'd seen. So often we speak against our desires without even realizing it, because of how we THINK it might make us look or sound. Needing something doesn't mean you're desperate for it. And, needs are fine to have. You can still be great and strong, even when you need people. Break the curse. Break the lie.

I just wanted to share what I’ve been going THROUGH (because I’m moving past it) over the past couple of months and weeks. This is just an open conversation about the emotional and mental experiences I Am dealing with right now. I wanted to (needed to) openly share and release my feelings. I know it’ll help someone(s). We’re all dealing with similar things and knowing, hearing, and seeing hope helps to keep going. ❤️

This lesson is about the phases and cycles we experience being living things and how to properly prepare for them and how to accept and learn the lessons from them. All things on this earth are subjected to the Universal law of cycles and phases. Understanding this is a part of life itself. It's a part of growth, it's a part of BEING. We experience highs and lows, ups and downs, but they're all a part of life's phases. It's about transformation and metamorphosing into our next form and being content and purposeful during them and in them.

We Wear The Mask, not only because of this pandemic, but because we are afraid to allow people to see or know what’s really going on with us. We are smothering our wellness with the Mask of perfection and “alright.” It’s time to come from behind the mask and be able to breathe and get well.

When I heard this phrase inside of me 5 years ago while feeling so betrayed and hurt, it really upset me. It upset me and then it taught a Life Lesson that I now practice with everything I encounter. We will always experience disappointment and sometimes hurtful experiences, yet learning to "get over it" is a necessary practice in order to live again. This episode is about GETTING OVER IT BY BUILDING A BRIDGE TO HEALING.

In this lesson we discuss defining moments and realizing how we respond to them gives our tomorrows meaning. Every moment you’re faced with a choice, it’s defining you and your life. Make them good.

This lesson is based on a quote by Paul D from the Book, Beloved. So many times we make the mistake of basing our goodness and importance on titles, attachments, and roles we play in life. We forget that we are our OWN good thing without anything else. This is about getting back to SELF.

We’ve always been told and shown that love is the answer to everything, including our happiness. Love is very necessary, but it’s not enough. You need additional additives to make love good! This is your lesson!

While conversing with a colleague, she used the phrase “Relationships are work!” She said this over and over again. It made me think about relationships from the aspect of Jobs vs. Careers. Your relationship should be a partnership that is run like a business you want to see grow, expand, and see big profits .

This is the first Episode of Season 2! This episode is about paying attention to patterns in yourself and your relationships. It's about learning your fabric, measurements, shape, and patterns of your design and those around you to enhance the beauty of what you're creating and your own person design!

RelationSHIPS are meant to be a means of transportation. They are to keep us moving on our specialized missions in this life.  They aren't meant to just make it feel good, the aren't to inspire to us do and be good. They aren't meant to be stagnant or idle. This lesson is about the movement that needs to happen in and on relationSHIPS and all the relationSHIFTS that happen along the way.

In this episode we discuss how Being with ourselves, giving ourselves the time to heal from heartache is so important. So many times we just move on to help assuage the hurt, but it’s just a mask. It’s a temporary fix. Before you move to the next, move in to yourself.

This episode is about EMPLOYING our vision to manage our sight. Do you know the power of your Vision and the important role sight plays? You’re going to learn that in this lesson!

Your future is not ahead of you, it lives inside of you. It is there to guide you, protect you, lead you, and correct you. Recognize the voice and acts of your future and heed it’s voice.

Some of us are isolators when we are going through trying times. Sometimes, that isolation can make the people we’re in a relationship with feel like I’m giving them the “cold shoulder.” This lesson is about learning and understanding those of us who are ISOLATORS and give an understanding of what helps and what doesn’t.

This week it’s just an open conversation I’m having with myself and you guys. I just wanted to spill all of the thoughts about what I’ve been feeling and experiencing over the past few weeks. I know it’ll help you where you are, too.

There are voices that speak to us that don’t belong. There are thoughts about feelings we have about ourselves that don’t belong to us. This episode is about recognizing that voice that has been programmed into our minds and then deleting it. Healing our inner child selves in order to love and accept our inner and outer adult selves.

We all go through stages in our lives. During the germination process it’s dark, it’s dirty, it everything but pretty! But, those are our most important moments. Those are opportunities to grow and manifest PERSONIFIED POTENTIAL! Don’t despise these times. You’re growing something!

There are certain desires and outcomes we create in our minds IN THE BEGINNING of relationships. When those things don’t happen the way we visioned, we can start to feel hopeless and upset. Yet, at every END there is a beginning. It’s not over for your dreams, it just didn’t happen in that space, with that person. This lesson is about accepting, adjusting, aligning, arising, and achieving! There’s a “In The Beginning” and there’s an “End; The Beginning.” There’s hope for you at what looks like the End.

For every person in our lives there is a well. A well of love, care, nurture, attention; everything needed for that person. Don’t empty the well that belongs to you or anyone else trying to fill someone else. Protect your wells. Know that what you are and what you have is more than enough.

All of our lives we have always been in a hurry. We have been startled and rushed by the ringing of false alarms. This lesson is about taking (seizing and securing) our time.

Stay on the Current in your life today. It may feel like it’s trying to pull you under, but it’s trying to pull you out!

We have all experienced hurt and betrayal. That hurt, when not dealt with and untreated, turns into hate. Let’s choose healing!

You can’t give anything to anyone that you don’t have for yourself first. This Life Lesson is the first step towards that.

Allow yourself to believe again. Don’t settle for anything you are discontent with.

With every word you speak, you are creating a world that will manifest. Speak what you seek, not what you see.

We are so afraid of subtraction. It seems like lose. But, if you do it right and see it clear, I’ll add to your life.

Make sure the darkness and negatives in your life are being exposed to special light and running water.

This episode is about protecting the sacred space of your mind, heart, and imagination. Learn and INjoy! 💜

This is the Welcome! Sharing my goals and setting my intentions for this podcast!