Mask Off for Masc with Vance

Send a textIn this episode, Vance chats with Brian G. Murphy, author of Love Beyond Monogamy, for a conversation about ritual, community, and the ways we create meaning in our lives. Together, they explore how experiences like yoga, music, and gathering with friends can become modern spiritual practices — the places where we process loss, celebrate connection, and remember who we are. Brian also reflects on the deep cultural significance of places like Fire Island, and how queer spaces have long held grief, joy, friendship, and history all at once. This episode is a thoughtful conversation about queer community, chosen rituals, and the ways we find belonging through shared experience.You can find Brian on social mediaInstagram: @thisisbgmLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIn this episode, Vance chats with Tom, a sex and relationship therapist, for an honest conversation about what it feels like to be gay men navigating modern intimacy. Together, they unpack loneliness, emotional safety, and the tension between freedom and connection, while diving into monogamy in the gay community — where it often feels split between monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. Rather than prescribing a “right” way, they explore how the real work is about self-awareness and choosing the relationship structure that actually fits who you are. This episode is a raw, grounded look at vulnerability, communication, and learning how to ask for what you truly need.You can find Tom on social mediaInstagram: @queerrelationshipinstituteLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIn this episode, Vance chats with Gary Albert — therapist, embodiment facilitator, and former classical musician — to explore the winding path that led him into supporting gay men in their relationships with pleasure, intimacy, and sexuality. We get into all of it: vulnerability, compulsive sexual patterns, limerence, emotional attachment, and why feeling our harder emotions is actually what creates real connection. Gary talks about the power of community, what it means for gay men to have truly safe spaces, and how relationships can become portals for self-discovery and healing. It’s a conversation for anyone craving more authenticity, more embodied intimacy, and more freedom in how they show up in love and sex.You can find Gary on social mediaInstagram: @pleasuremedicinedanceLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIn this episode, Vance chats with Dr. Dallas Bragg, a recovery coach who supports queer men navigating chemsex and addiction. Dallas opens up about his own journey from addiction to recovery, the challenges of relationships in the midst of it, and the power of finding real support. We get into the emotional layers of addiction, identity, and rebuilding after rock bottom, as well as the realities of sober sex, vulnerability, and how substances can shape intimacy. We also talk about the normalization of drug use in sexual spaces and what it takes to create room for genuine connection without substances. It’s an honest conversation about addiction, stigma, and why open dialogue in our community matters.You can find Dr Dallas on social mediaInstagram: @drdallasbraggLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textVance and Daniel dive into the complexities of the adult industry—exploring perceptions, personal journeys, and the importance of intimacy and connection in porn. They unpack the realities of production, the impact of societal norms on identity, and how communication shapes relationships.The conversation also explores sexual identity, queer community dynamics, and navigating judgment and belonging in queer spaces. From harassment in gay bars to the search for authentic connection, they reflect on how trauma, attraction, and lived experience shape who we are—and how self-awareness can support mental health along the way.You can find Daniel on social mediaInstagram: @danielgainsbrookLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textVance sits down with David Jacques, aka Davey Wavey, for a no-holds-barred conversation about dating, hookups, and desire. They swap some of their best (and worst) dating stories and talk about how finding love and casual connections in the digital age can feel like its own skillset — one that teaches us what really turns us on. They dive into age gaps between gay men, the dynamics that come with them, and how our experiences (the hot ones and the hard ones) shape who we’re drawn to. The more we know what we want — and what we don’t — the better we fuck, love, and choose.You can find David on social mediaInstagram: @officialdaveywaveyLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIn this episode, Coach Kevin Martin and Vance dive into personal growth, the intersection of therapy and content creation, and the journey of embracing sexuality. We talk about the challenges of staying authentic online, the importance of mindfulness, and the power of sexual empowerment. Our conversation also touches on handling criticism, navigating loneliness, and learning to be fully present in life. Together, they share experiences and insights that highlight the importance of self-discovery and finding your own path.You can find Kevin on social mediaInstagram: @coachkevmartinLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIn this engaging conversation, Tim Lagman, a certified sex educator and podcaster, shares insights on sex education, body image, and the complexities of relationships within the LGBTQ+ community. The discussion covers personal experiences, the importance of open communication in relationships, and the societal pressures surrounding physical appearance. Tim emphasizes the need for a broader understanding of intimacy and sexual freedom, encouraging listeners to explore their desires without the constraints of traditional norms.You can find Tim on social mediaInstagram: @sexedwithtim                    @gayslutclownLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIn this conversation, Vance and Nathan Serrato discuss the intricacies of queer love coaching, the impact of gay masculinity on relationships, and the importance of vulnerability and emotional intelligence. They explore childhood experiences that shape perceptions of masculinity, the dynamics of friendships within the gay community, and the need to address issues like sexual assault. The discussion emphasizes the importance of breaking down traditional gender norms and the role of positive male role models in redefining masculinity. You can find Nathan on social mediaInstagram: @queerconsciousLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textTo close out the summer, I wanted to bring you something lighter—especially after the last episode on grief. I’ve always been a romantic at heart. I want to fall madly in love, but as I grow older and wiser, I’ve learned not to lose myself in it.I see romance as a kink—something I can tap into when I want to feel a certain way in my relationships. It can be an exaggerated fantasy, but like role play, it can open the door to more passion and intimacy.In this episode, I share some of the sweetest gestures guys have done for me and moments that felt almost cinematic. This one’s for the lovers.Follow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textThis bonus episode is a vulnerable one. I wanted to talk about grief—how it’s shaped me, how it lingers, and how I still struggle to face it. I’ve also realized how much I struggle with intimacy, especially when it comes to letting people see that pain. Lorde’s new album hit something in me. It’s messy, honest, and full of feeling—just like grief is. It made me want to stop hiding and start speaking. Grief never really leaves us, but if we let ourselves feel it, maybe it can crack us open in a way that makes room for connection, for truth, and for being fully seen.Follow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIt’s the Madonna episode! Anyone who knows me knows how deep my obsession with Madonna runs. But it’s not a superficial fascination—it’s rooted in what she’s represented for me and so many others. In this episode, I’m joined by my guest Stefan, host of the wildly popular MLVC Podcast, as we dive into all things Madge and reflect on how integral she’s been to our lives growing up as queer men.We talk about the ways Madonna shaped our identities, gave us permission to be bold, and how she helped make queerness visible in mainstream culture. She didn’t just entertain—she empowered. We explore how she broke down cultural barriers, stood fiercely with the LGBTQ+ community long before it was widely accepted, and redefined what it meant to be unapologetically sexual and feminist. Her legacy goes beyond the music—it’s a blueprint for liberation. Whether it’s through her style, activism, or sheer defiance, Madonna taught us how to own who we are without shame.You can find Stefan on social mediaInstagram: @mlvcpodcast                    @stefanwithanfLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIn this week’s episode, I chat with Tantra facilitator and sexological bodyworker Jason King. We explore the question: What is intimacy?—especially in the context of sexual connection. Our conversation dives into vulnerability, and how intimacy often requires us to take emotional risks, even when there’s a chance of rejection.Jason shares how many men default to a hyper-masculine approach to sex, and how true intimacy can often feel more soft, open, and even feminine. He talks about one of his personal kinks—eye gazing—and how intense and revealing that experience can be. We also examine how social media and dating apps can lead us to perform and curate an image, when in reality, the awkward, unpolished version of ourselves is often more attractive and real.Together, we explore how we can begin practicing intimacy in our friendships and deepen emotional connections outside of sex. Jason shares insights on what it means to energetically open up—whether that’s in the context of bottoming or simply being emotionally available—and how Tantra can be a powerful practice for this. We also offer some practical tips for men who are looking to build more authentic intimacy in their lives.You can find Jason on social mediaInstagram: @embodied_erosLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIn this episode, I chat with Firefly Tantra, who works with men using the practice of Tantra. He breaks down what sessions with clients actually look like, how Tantra compares to somatic sex coaching, and where the two overlap. We talk about dealing with shame when it shows up during sex—something we’ve both seen in our own lives and in our work. We also get into body image and how, in the gay community, there’s a lot of pressure to look perfect, even though looking good doesn’t necessarily mean you’re great in bed. We touch on substance use during sex, and how if we really want deeper connections, it might be time to start practicing social skills in real life instead of relying on the apps. Toward the end, we talk about open relationships and share some of our own experiences with them.You can find Firefly on social mediaInstagram: @fireflytantraLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIn this episode, I have the pleasure of chatting with the funny and delightful Matthew Shur. We talk about our experiences working with Himeros and how each of us found our way into the world of porn. We also explore how performance can enhance sex—especially when we're truly connected to our bodies. The conversation touches on burlesque as a celebration of self-love, and how it's about loving your body while inviting others to witness and enjoy that love. We also discuss the reality of performance anxiety in porn and what that can look like for performers. Matthew shares some powerful stories about helping porn stars tap into deeper intimacy on set.You can find Matthew on social mediaInstagram: @matthewshurLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textI had a truly meaningful conversation with my friend Rahim Thawer that I’m excited to share. We explored a wide range of topics, all rooted in the theme of empathy. How do we connect with people we disagree with? What does activism look like in the digital age? And how do we navigate the everyday trauma of simply being human in today’s world? On a lighter note, we also talked about joy—what it looks like, how we access it—and even asked the playful question: “Does Taylor Swift feel more joy than the rest of us?” Maybe she does—who knows? My hope is that this conversation leaves you with a reminder: we all need to be more mindful of one another, to seek connection before passing judgment on why someone holds the beliefs they do or makes the choices they make.You can find Rahim on social mediaInstagram: @the.politicized.practitionerLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textMy friend Priscilla Mossy Stone joins me to chat about their story of coming out, going to conversion therapy, and finding their way to drag. We discuss how social norms of masculinity and femininity can keep men in a small box of rules to live by. Both of us found that by expressing all parts of ourselves, and finding some inspiration from pop divas, can give us a greater sense of freedom. Mossy is such a delight and beautiful storyteller in this episode about the ups and downs of practicing authenticity.You can find Mossy on social mediaInstagram: @mossylovesbooksLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textI met my friend Jean-Francois a few years ago when we were both fairly new yoga teachers. We reconnected after our yoga paths both crossed into the world of eroticism. We chat about how those tools that we found in a spiritual and physical practice can translate into sex and connection. In this episode we also dive into the topic of body image and how we both struggle at times with how we feel in our skin. We discuss how it is in our daily practices and mindfulness that we can move through a lot of shame and get to that side of pleasure and freedom.You can find JF on social media;Instagram: @jfatawakenstudiotoLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIn this episode I am joined by my friend Don Shine, who is a coach/body worker and retreat facilitator for the Body Electric school. At the time of recording this episode it was the week of the American inauguration for Donald Trump. We discuss how to deal with the uncertainty and real fear our communities are facing in these times. We talk about our experiences growing up in rural communities and how that shaped who we are, and how we treat other people. We also touch on the importance of kindness and how that makes others feel.You can find Don on the socials and his website;Instagram: @donshine74Website: donshine.netLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIn this episode I am joined by my friend Michael DeCorte. We both share our experiences of struggling with addiction and how it’s changed over the years. Michael had recently turned 50 when we recorded this episode and we chat about how it feels to get older in the gay community. We reflect back on heavy partying days and how that still shaped us to be who we are now. Our love of yoga and Madonna becomes becomes a bit of a theme throughout our conversation for the Ray of Light fans out there.You can find Michael on social media and make sure to check out a yoga class of his in Toronto;Instagram: @michaeldecorteLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textIn this episode I am joined by my friend and collaborator, Karim. We discuss how certain social settings are not for us, and how we tend to like deeper and more meaningful conversations. This leads us to how we enjoy getting to know people on this level through our work, social media, and being outspoken. I enjoyed recording this so much and it was one of the reasons I wanted to start this podcast. It’s important to have these conversations to see and understand different perspectives. We also get into talking about what it’s actually like to make porn, and how there is a level of intimacy with photographer and model.Karim is a talented artist and you can find his work here;Instagram: @alkjadavji @grasped3.0Youtube: @alkarimjadavjiWebsite: alkjadavji.comLike, Comment, and SubscribeFollow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc

Send a textHi there! I'm Vance Hedman and I am a somatic intimacy coach based out of Toronto, Canada. I wanted to start this podcast to have deeper conversations with the other queer people in my life. I can't wait for everyone to hear the first episode out in March!Subscribe for new episodes!Follow the podcast on Instagram @maskoffformasc