Men on Target

Most unhealthy behaviors begin as a fun/recreational activity that displaces other priorities in our life. These behaviors are known as "process addiction." Men who monitor behavior and have guard rails to hold them accountable for healthy behavior are effective at avoiding addiction. In this episode, Miles and Redlight discuss practical steps to addressing the following questions: What are some typical processes that men get caught up in? How do I know if I have a problem? What can I do to improve? What can others do for me? What can I do for a friend who is showing patterns of unhealthy behaviors? What are some resources available?

Controlling substance use is critical if you strive towards improvement and pursue a greater good. If you have a severe problem with a substance, don't hesitate to contact a professional. Because most men use a substance, let's investigate how we can maintain control to avoid the substance controlling us. In this episode, Miles and Redlight discuss practical steps to addressing the following questions: What are some typical substances? How do I know if I have a problem? What can I do to improve? What can others do for me? What can I do for a friend that is showing patterns of overuse? What are some resources available?

When you feel overwhelmed and frustrated, how do you deal with it? Does your decision improve the situation or create additional problems? Sometimes, men use substances to relieve stress and challenges, which can create additional problems. In this episode Miles and Redlight introduce a series of the use of substances to self-medicate or escape from our challenges. This can create bad habits that result in behaviors that get in the way of us hitting virtuous targets and impacting the relationships in our lives. Following this episode Miles and Redlight will discuss both Substance and Process adictive behaviors that Men gravitate towards to deal with frustration. The purpose of this podcast is not to shame anyone but to put men on a virtuous path of improvement.

Prayer is the daily discipline of communicating with your creator to strengthen your faith. This is essential to a virtuous leader's quest for truth and guidance. In this episode, Miles and Possum discuss why virtuous leaders have faith, how prayer provides answers, and how prayer is the antidote to worry.

In F3 we are not just a workout group, we are a leadership development group. One of the key areas that we believe are essential to life as a virtuous high-impact man is to continually grow and challenge our faith. The public manifestation of our faith is what happens in meetings. Faith is best understood, practiced, and refined through meeting of others that share a belief system. In this episode Miles, Redlight, and Special Guest Brass Monkey discuss essential components of Meeting to strengthen our belief system. Why is it essential to attend a meeting in person? Is there something that happens that cannot occur in isolation? Should high-impact men seek leadership roles related to a belief system? What would a congregation and shepherd do without high-impact men in the audience? These are some of the questions addressed in this episode.

Influential leaders aren't just effective they are virtuous. By being virtuous, leaders answer to a higher divine power. This divine power is external to humanity and must be understood to pursue virtue effectively. Would you happen to know what your belief system is? Do you invest time in studying or the daily exploration of the foundations of faith? In this episode Miles, Redlight, and special guest Flamingo investigate study techniques to further strengthen, challenge, and understand a variety of belief systems.

A man that is accelerating has many relationships that are concentrically prioritized. One of those relationships is the vertical relationship with a mentor that we call a "Whetstone" in F3. There are many barriers for men to pursue and accept the role of a Whetstone, but one thing is for sure, that is, all men need one. In this episode Miles and Redlight, with special guest Possum discuss how critical a Whetstone is for men. They also discuss the benefits of being a Whetstone. Possum brings a wealth of knowledge and experience as a mentor that understands how to have Hard Looks and Tough Talks with Love.

A man and his shorties are the one relationship that can't be broken. While many aspects of raising children apply to both sons and daughters, there are unique aspects that dads should be aware of when raising girls to be strong and confident women. In this episode, Miles and Redlight, with special guest Pyro, discuss how to be a great dad to a daughter. Many influencers are seeking your daughter's attention. Miles, Redlight, and Pyro discuss how dads can keep their daughter's attention away from threats and focus on a safe and effective father-daughter relationship. We discuss some difficult and controversial topics and how they should influence how we raise our daughters. The Growth model is also discussed to make sure that connection, boundaries, good & bad integration, and responsibility are part of the role of father when raising daughters.

A man and his shorties are the one relationship that cannot be broken. Have you considered the difference between boys and girls? HIM Whetstone their own sons to navigate the challenges in life. When it comes to raising boys into men how does our past impact the way we parent? How does the growth model (bonding, boundaries, good/bad, and responsibility) relate to raising boys? In this episode, Miles and Redlight along with special guest Clove discuss best practices for raising boys into HIM. Clove has many years of experience working with youth, coaching, and his own children. Special thanks to Clove for creating this new beat with an original F3 mix.

A Man and his children is the one relationship that cannot be broken. The father-and-child relationship still exists regardless of how far the Man moves away. The most successful HIM-Shorty relationships are when the Man sacrifices everything, accepts the significance of his role, and how commitment leads to freedom for his shorties. In this episode Miles and Redlight discuss the sacrificial relationship between a Man and his Shorties. Special guest Honeybear shares some insightful tips and recommendations to help others invest in their relationships. The legacy of a father that bonds and invests in their children lasts forever. Special thanks to Clove for the great music featured in this episode.

There are four research-based challenges that, if go unchecked, could devastate a relationship between a man and his wife. James and Julie Gottman wrote a book called "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," which was based on research from the "Love Lab" located at the University of Washington. One of the essential components in that book was for marriages to be aware of and put in safeguards to address the four horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. In this episode, Miles and Redlight discuss these four horsemen and how men can address them in marriage. In F3, men should use their shieldlocks to determine if these four horsemen are present and set virtuous targets to address them.

In F3 the “M” is what we refer to as the most important relationship for a Man. The most important relationship for a Man is between him and his wife. This podcast is designed for small groups of men, called “shieldlocks,” to practice, challenge, and set goals to improve the “M” relationship. Even men that are not married will find value in this conversation. Don’t wait until you are married to begin acting like a husband. In this podcast Miles and Redlight break down the Q-Source material so shieldlocks can identify strengths and challenges associated with the most important relationship so they can leave the selfish happiness junkie and move towards a selfless joy seeker. We also invited a HIM from GoldRush, Coleman to share life lessons and strategies to ensure the “M” remains at the center of the concentrica.

The Kingdom is the place for our spirits to live. The King, Queen, and Jester all occupy the kingdom and it is our job to put in daily disciplines to control all three. In this episode, Miles and Redlight will discuss some of the most common and challenging Jesters that result when we are not aiming at the correct targets. These jesters result when we do not hit the virtuous targets: Empathy, Purity, Disciplined Fasting, Generosity, Righteousness, Contentment, and Powerful Grace. 

The daily discipline of what you put into your body is a critical part of the Kingdom that houses our souls.  Have you taken a moment to analyze your relationship with food, drinks, and controlled substances? In this podcast Miles and Redlight along with special guest Shrink breakdown how shieldlocks can accelerate like a pro with the Queen.  Special guest Shrink has had an amazing successful journey that will inspire and equip you to be successful with the daily discipline of what goes into our bodies.  We also analyze how the growth model: connection, boundaries, integrating good/bad, & responsibility can impact the queen. 

The daily discipline of your body is a critical part of the Kingdom that houses our soul. Have you considered if your relationship with yourself is in a healthy space? In this podcast Miles and Redlight along with special guest Ponch, the Nantan of Gold Rush, breakdown how shieldlocks can accelerate like a pro with the King. 

Redlight and Miles continue their series for shieldlocks to be successful with growing deeper.   What should men be responsible for? 

Miles and Redlight continue their series on discussing the Growth Model.   Connection - Part 1 Boundaries - Part 2 Integrating the good and the bad - Part 3  Responsibility - Part 4 Most people are open to the good in their lives.  However, many struggles with admitting our capacity to do bad things.  If you don't realize that our capacity to do bad equals our capacity to do good, you are missing a significant growth opportunity for yourself and others.  Sometimes we do good/bad, sometimes it is done to us, and other times it is representative of us living in a broken world.  

While connection and bonding are important, as we develop it is essential to begin to identify where you end and where someone else begins.  A healthy dependence partnered with a healthy understanding of independence is critical in a model where we grow effectively.  In this episode, Miles and Redlight discuss that every relationship has boundaries, and we love one another when we identify, respect, discuss, and challenge each other's boundaries.  We will discuss common boundary challenges and skills one can develop to improve and heal existing boundary issues.  

Growth Model:  Bonding (Connection), Boundaries, Integrating the Good & Bad, Responsibility "We are men, we don't need connection." Some believe this statement.  The choice is connection or isolation.  Are you aware of how connecting with others affected/affects (past & present) you as a human?  Miles and Redlight will discuss the research behind connection and the need for men to engage with others regularly.  How does a lack of connection impact you as a young child & in leadership roles? We will discuss how men attempt to isolate themselves by being lone rangers, self-sufficient, rescuers, or through hostility.  In particular, we in F3 should be leaders of connection and help others grow and develop in these areas.  A shieldlock can be a gymnasium where we practice connection so it will impact our other relationships.  You may find that you identify with the self-sufficient isolator to avoid connection and determine that may be a good target/goal for your shieldlock to hold you accountable.  

Utilizing the research from Townsend and Cloud:  How do we grow and develop as individuals? We are not in control of the early part of our lives, and sometimes, circumstances and situations present challenges for us in adulthood.  How do we engage our community so we can begin to repair and heal the gaps in development?  In this episode, Miles and Redlight discuss a model or framework to discuss the root issues that may be the source of our adult challenges.  There are four main areas that we would like to focus on: Bonding (Connection), Boundaries, Integrating the Good & Bad, and Responsibility.   In this episode, we provide a brief overview of each one of these characteristics of the Growth Model.   Hitting virtuous targets will require these characteristics to grow deeply with others.  

We accomplish things every day.  Are you successful at achieving your goals?  Most individuals struggle to accomplish short-term and long-term goals as evidenced by New Year's Resolutions.  We don't have a goal-setting problem, we have a goal achievement problem.  Shieldlocks can help overcome some of the top reasons why individuals are unsuccessful with achieving their goals.  Redlight and Miles discuss how to establish (construct) hygiene (short-term) and Visionary (long-term) virtuous and effective goals.  They also discuss how to be more effective at accomplishing those goals in a shieldlock.  

Each person comes to a situation having experienced things that have shaped him into the man he is today.  One of the first meetings you should do in a group is to help catch everyone up on your life story.  Miles and Redlight talk about a purpose, structure, and framework to tell your story so that it helps to paint a picture of who you are to a group of other men so they can understand critical information about you.  Take notes so that you can share your story with others in a way that they can understand it.  

So you have decided to join a shieldlock.  Redlight and Miles will discuss how to join a shieldlock.  While many regions may differ with the process, some general guidelines can help you be successful.  Have you thought about the purpose of a shieldlock?  Before listening to this podcast, it might be a good idea to read what Q-Source has to say.  How do you go about asking someone to be in a shieldlock with you?  We will address these questions.  

Most of us have been part of successful groups and others that have not been desirable.  Miles and RedLight share practical and research-based strategies for shieldlocks to use to avoid gridlock in their shieldlocks.  There are things that you should do and there are also things that you should not do to have the best chance at growing deep with your shieldlock.  In Part 2 we will focus on those things that Shieldlocks should practice to be effective.

Most of us have been part of successful groups and others that have not been desirable.  Miles and RedLight share practical and research-based strategies for shieldlocks to use to avoid gridlock in their shieldlocks.  There are things that you should do and there are also things that you should not do to have the best chance at growing deep with your shieldlock.  In Part 1 we will focus on those things that Shieldlocks should avoid.  

Where is the gymnasium to practice relational skills for men?  In this episode Miles and Red Light will introduce the concept of a Shieldlock and how they can help men accelerate.