Miss Gender (video)

Remember back in 2015 when Ashley put in a two-years-out down payment for bottom surgery with Dr. Bowers? Well, that two years later is now now, and Ashley has just gone through gender-confirmation surgery with Dr. Bowers, and she and Jay talk through its ups and downs. Ashley thinks back to her facial-feminization surgery in […] The post Ashley’s New Vagina (s02e14) first appeared on Miss Gender.

After Ashley’s wobbly visit with her parents over Independence Day weekend in which her parents carelessly outed Ashley to her brother’s parents-in-law, Ashley came to realize that her parents weren’t using her pronouns when she wasn’t around. So she decided to write a third letter to her parents. (If you might like to catch up […] The post Generally Hopeful (s02e13) first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley went to see her parents over Independence Day weekend. Her brother Adrian, and his wife and parents-in-law were also there, so Ashley felt some reassurance that even if her parents weren’t any better with her name and pronouns, at least the support from the other visitors would able to make up for it a […] The post Are Things Getting Better? (s02e12) first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley chats with Jay about visiting her parents in December. They didn’t use her birthname during the trip, but they didn’t call her Ashley that often, either. Worse, it seems as if her parents are putting on an act while she’s around — because after they think she’s out of hearing range, they go right […] The post Mom and Dad: Still Doofuses (s2e11) first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley and Jay talk about Ashley’s travels over the last few months, including the family reunion she attended in July, her brother’s wedding in August, and her dad’s 70th birthday in October. Her extended family at the reunion were super accepting, always using Ashley’s correct name and pronouns. Her parents, unfortunately, still haven’t made the […] The post So Many Trips! (s02e10) first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley gives Jay all the details about her recent trip to Argentina for her FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) with Dr. Di Maggio, and the amazing help she got from her friend Andrea (on Twitter @ButtermilkPecan) while recovering and getting settled in a strange city. Like any surgery, it wasn’t a walk in the park, but […] The post Ashley’s New Face (s02e09) first appeared on Miss Gender.

After a promising visit with her parents over Thanksgiving, Ashley felt somewhat optimistic about seeing them in December, but since there’d be fewer allies in the house, she worried her parents would backslide into the wrong name and pronouns. Ashley was pleased to discover that her dad was still mostly trying, although he may have […] The post Winterfamilytime 2013 (s02e08) first appeared on Miss Gender.

After Ashley sent a second letter to her parents about using her correct name, she realized that they would probably just fall back to calling her Snooks all the time, a childhood nickname. She decided that if her they called her Snooks the next time they called, she’d ask them to call her by her […] The post Thankful first appeared on Miss Gender.

About a year ago, Ashley sent her parents a letter asking them to call her Ashley. At the time, she left open the possibility that her parents could still call her by a childhood nickname sometimes, Snooks-Pooks. But her parents now call her Snooks all the time, so Ashley wrote her parents a second letter […] The post Immovable Object first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley visited her parents at the beginning of winter. Over her previous visit for Thanksgiving, she had heaps of support from visiting relatives, but this time Ashley had fewer allies — mostly just her brother, who gets her name and pronouns right all the time. Her parents still use the wrong pronouns, and Ashley thought […] The post This Is No Good first appeared on Miss Gender.

Even though Ashley’s name change has gone through, she’s wasn’t sure whether it would make any difference when she visited her parents over Thanksgiving. It turns out, Ashley’s cousins, aunts, and uncles seem to have become all the more supportive, while her parents still lag behind. Ashley goes over a conversation with her parents in […] The post Thanksgiving Too first appeared on Miss Gender.

After having filed her paperwork and heaps of waiting — among other steps — Ashley’s court date for her name change finally arrived. Ashley goes over the happenings that day and how things played out, including her game plan for getting out of bed by 5:30 a.m. Ashley and Jay chat about some of the […] The post Name Change Day first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley had been trying to remain patient with her parents’ refusal to use her new name or correct pronouns, hoping that they’d come around on their own. In a letter she sent them a couple months ago, she sternly asked them to call her Ashley and decided to correct them whenever they refer to her […] The post No More Ms. Nice Girl first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley has waited for months for her parents to start using the name Ashley instead of her birth name, but they won’t, so she tries to explain her request again in a carefully worded letter. Unfortunately, the letter doesn’t go over well and her parents tell Ashley that she’s hurting them by not considering their […] The post The Letter first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley answers 7 Questions for the we happy trans project, such as who’s been most supportive of her transition, changes she’d like to see in the world, and how she’s helping to make those changes. Jay asks how Ashley’s new coworkers are accepting of her gender identity, given that some knew her since before her […] The post 7 Questions first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley is frustrated by her parents’ lack of acceptance, and suggests that instead of emphasizing her new happiness to them, she could instead explain how bad she’d feel if she had to return to her life before transition. And if they don’t come around and she tries to bring this up with them, should she […] The post Support Groups first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley teaches Jay about the nuances and changing meanings of some of the more hurtful slurs directed toward trans folks, with help from GLAAD’s transgender glossary of terms. Jay asks Ashley to elaborate on what she means when she says she’s “always been a woman” and if that means she regrets not having come out […] The post The T Word first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley’s father seems to view her gender therapist as a sort of puppet-master (puppet-mistress?) pulling Ashley’s strings, even though Ashley switched from individual counseling to group support. Ashley’s parents say that they accept what she’s doing, but they make a point of telling her they don’t condone it. Jay thinks it means they now understand […] The post Accept? Yes. Condone? No. first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley visits with family and friends during the yuletide season and her parents obstinately use the wrong name and pronouns for her, creating confusion among some guests. For Ashley, it’s like insisting on using a woman’s married name even after she split with an abusive husband. During her visit, Ashley’s dad conspicuously mentions that it’s […] The post Winter Family Time first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley gets laid off, inferring through the business-speak that it was a means for the company to cut costs. She and Jay discuss searching for a new job now that Ashley is presenting as female full-time, but Ashley expresses doubts about whether she can pass during the entirety of an interviewing process—especially during phone interviews—and […] The post Laid Off first appeared on Miss Gender.

Over Thanksgiving, Ashley’s parents reveal that they still misunderstand her transgender status, claiming that she’s cross-dressing and that she’s making her coworkers uncomfortable. Her parents also wonder if Ashley’s gender therapist is putting ideas in her head, and worry that keeping and finding employment will get harder for Ashley. Ashley attempts to talk with her […] The post Thanksgiving first appeared on Miss Gender.

Jay figures it’s time to ask Ashley about sex and romance as a trans woman, asking her about underwear preferences, whether she ever finds panties arousing, and the added complexities of a trans woman dating lesbians. For instance, would Ashley tell someone she’s dating about her trans status before they have sex? Jay wonders whether […] The post Sexytime first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley gets catcalled and wolf whistled at while entering Target and feels a little apprehensive, but also feels a little pleased. Jay asks if her mixed feelings are unique to transwomen or if they’re common among all women. They discuss the men’s clothes Ashley has already given away and the few masculine outfits she’s keeping […] The post Catcalling first appeared on Miss Gender.

Jay asks Ashley if she had considered wearing a wig until her hair had grown out to a length that she felt was more feminine. Ashley answers a question from a viewer about her views on men wearing women’s clothing as she was growing up, including performers like Eddie Izzard and comedy troupes like The […] The post Clothes & Shopping first appeared on Miss Gender.

Ashley talks about her parents’ recent visit and how she asked them to consider calling her Ashley rather than her birth name. She also recounts the reprimand she received from her employer for using the bathrooms matching her gender presentation rather than those of the gender she was assigned at birth. Ashley struggles to grasp […] The post Call Me Ashley? first appeared on Miss Gender.