Not Your Therapist

Send us Fan MailMother’s Day can bring up a lot more than brunch plans and flower deliveries. For many people, it brings up grief, guilt, resentment, anxiety, and the complicated reality of loving your mom while still carrying pain from the relationship.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, Kayla Reilly breaks down the mother wound: what it is, how it shows up in adulthood, and why your mom’s voice may still be living rent-free in your head. We’re talking about emotionally unavailable mothers, critical moms, enmeshed relationships, emotional parentification, people-pleasing, boundaries, self-worth, and the grief of not getting the mothering you needed.You’ll learn 5 ways to start dealing with the mom stuff you’re still carrying, including how to recognize your inherited inner critic, grieve what you didn’t get, set healthier boundaries, and begin reparenting yourself without pretending the past didn’t hurt.Because “she did her best” and “it still hurt me” can both be true.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailFriendships in your 20s felt easy.Friendships in your 30s? They can feel confusing, inconsistent… and if we’re being honest, a little harder than you expected.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, Kayla is breaking down why adult friendships shift — and why you might find yourself overthinking texts, questioning the vibe after a hangout, or wondering if you’re slowly drifting from people you care about.Because it’s not just you.We’re talking about: Why friendships require more effort in your 30s (and why that’s normal)  How life changes — kids, work, mental load — impact connection The reason you might be overthinking interactions or reading into silence What’s actually happening when friendships start to feel different  The truth about outgrowing certain relationships How to adjust your expectations so friendships feel easier (and less stressful) If you’ve ever left a hangout thinking, “Wait… was that weird?” or stared at your phone wondering why someone hasn’t texted back — this episode will make you feel seen.Because friendships aren’t broken.They’re just evolving.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailResentment in marriage doesn’t usually come from one big moment.It builds slowly… quietly… and often without you even realizing it.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re talking about how resentment actually forms in relationships — and why so many couples find themselves feeling irritated, disconnected, and emotionally distant without fully understanding why.Because more often than not, it’s not about the dishes, the laundry, or the little things you’re arguing about.It’s about the pattern underneath.We’ll cover: How resentment builds over time (not overnight)  The connection between overfunctioning and feeling unsupported Why doing “more and more” can actually create distance in your marriage  The role of unspoken expectations and unmet needs How resentment grows when you consistently override your own needs  What to start doing instead if you want to feel more connected If you’ve ever found yourself snapping at your partner and thinking, “Why am I so irritated all the time?” — this episode will help you understand what’s really going on.Because resentment isn’t about one moment.It’s about what’s been building all along.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailEveryone is a narcissist these days… at least according to the internet.But what does narcissism actually mean? And more importantly — how do you know if you’re dealing with it in real life?In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re breaking down narcissism in a way that’s clear, grounded, and actually useful.Kayla starts with the original story of Narcissus and Echo — a myth that surprisingly mirrors modern relationship dynamics — before unpacking what narcissism looks like today, what’s happening underneath the surface, and why the term gets thrown around so loosely.We’ll cover: What narcissism actually is (and why it exists on a spectrum)  The difference between narcissistic traits vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) What’s happening under the surface — including insecurity, shame, and emotional avoidance The different types of narcissism (grandiose, vulnerable, and communal)  What narcissism is not (and why labeling everything as narcissism can be misleading)  A better question to ask instead of “Are they a narcissist?” If you’ve ever questioned a relationship, felt unseen, or wondered if you’re dealing with narcissistic behavior, this episode will help you make sense of it — without jumping to labels.Because at the end of the day: You don’t need a diagnosis to decide something isn’t healthy for you.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailTantrums are one of the most triggering parts of parenting… and if we’re being honest, sometimes it feels easier to just give in and make it stop.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re talking about what tantrums actually mean, why giving in backfires, and how well-meaning parents unintentionally reinforce entitled behavior without realizing it.Because here’s the truth: It’s not about the tantrum — it’s about what your child learns from your response to it.Kayla shares her own experience as a mom navigating meltdowns, the internal pull to “fix it,” and what it really takes to stay consistent when your child is losing it.We’ll cover: Why you should never give in during a tantrum (and what that teaches your child)  The difference between validation and reinforcement Why labeling behavior as “bad” can actually create more problems  How to give your child structured choices without losing control  What your role actually is in the middle of a meltdown If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I know I shouldn’t give in… but I just want this to end,” this episode is for you.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailYou’re overwhelmed. Your schedule is full. You’re already stretched thin……and somehow, you still say yes to more.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re breaking down why people overcommit when they’re already drowning — and why this isn’t actually a time management problem.Using a real-life example (yes… including fostering puppies at the worst possible time), we dive into the deeper psychology behind overcommitment, people-pleasing, and the hidden belief that “I don’t matter.”Because the truth is: You’re not doing too much because you’re capable. You’re doing too much because slowing down feels uncomfortable.We’ll cover: Why overcommitment is often emotional avoidance  The link between overfunctioning and self-worth  How staying busy protects you from deeper feelings  The subtle ways you abandon yourself without realizing it  One simple question to help you start choosing differently If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Why did I say yes to this?” — this episode is for you.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailDo you go quiet during conflict?Do you say “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not?Or do you suddenly feel overwhelmed and need to escape the conversation entirely?In this episode, we’re breaking down why people emotionally shut down in arguments — and what’s actually happening in your nervous system when conflict feels like too much.We’ll talk about:What shutting down feels like internally vs. how it feels to your partnerThe psychology of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn in relationshipsDiffuse physiological arousal (and why your thinking brain goes offline during conflict)Why stonewalling and emotional withdrawal trigger abandonment fearsHow to take space during an argument without damaging the relationshipYou’ll also learn about the 20–22 minute nervous system reset and how to walk away from conflict in a way that creates safety instead of insecurity.Because shutting down isn’t immaturity — it’s often dysregulation.But how you handle it determines whether your relationship deepens or deteriorates.If you’re navigating conflict in your 20s, 30s, or 40s and want healthier, calmer communication — this one’s for you.Send it to the person who either shuts down… or chases when their partner shuts down.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailYou don’t think you’re a perfectionist. You just “have high standards.”You care. You’re driven. You like things done right.So why are you exhausted?In this episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of perfectionism — what it actually is, why it develops, and how it quietly fuels anxiety, burnout, procrastination, and relationship strain.Perfectionism isn’t about excellence. It’s about fear.We’ll explore:The difference between healthy ambition and fear-based performanceHow perfectionism is linked to shame and conditional self-worthWhy high-achieving adults struggle to feel satisfiedHow perfectionism shows up in careers, parenting, and relationshipsWhy “doing your best” often feels like never enoughYou’ll also learn a therapist-backed approach to loosening perfectionism without lowering your competence — including how to identify the fear underneath the standard and regulate the nervous system instead of overworking.Because you don’t need to earn your worth every single day.If you’re navigating adulthood, identity shifts, and relationships without wanting to burn out in the process — this episode is for you.Send it to the friend who calls their anxiety “high standards.”This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailWhy do emotionally unavailable people feel magnetic?Why does the hot-and-cold person spark chemistry… while the consistent, emotionally available one feels “boring”?If you keep finding yourself attracted to partners who pull away, avoid vulnerability, or struggle with emotional intimacy — this episode is for you.Today we’re breaking down the psychology behind attraction patterns, attachment styles, and why your nervous system can confuse anxiety with chemistry.We’ll talk about:What “emotionally unavailable” actually meansWhy inconsistency creates emotional intensityThe difference between activation and compatibilityHow attachment patterns influence who you’re drawn toWhy calm can feel unfamiliar (and even unsafe)The hidden payoff of chasing unavailable partnersYou’re not choosing these dynamics because you’re irrational.You’re choosing what feels familiar.And familiar isn’t always healthy.If you’re navigating dating, long-term relationships, or identity shifts in your 20s, 30s, or 40s — and wondering why you keep ending up with the same type — this episode will give you clarity without shame.Send it to the friend who says, “Why do I always attract emotionally unavailable people?”And if you’re ready to build relationships that feel safe instead of chaotic — you’re in the right place.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailDo you replay conversations before bed? Rewrite texts multiple times before sending? Second-guess decisions long after they’re made?You’re not alone — and you’re not “just anxious.”In this episode, we’re breaking down the psychology of overthinking and rumination, especially in high-functioning adults navigating careers, leadership, relationships, and big life decisions.Overthinking isn’t insight. It’s anxiety trying to create certainty.We’ll explore:Why your brain replays conversations and decisionsThe difference between thoughtful processing and ruminationHow fear of rejection, guilt, and responsibility fuel overthinkingWhy high-achieving adults overthink moreHow to regulate your nervous system instead of mentally loopingThis episode also dives into how guilt and identity show up in leadership and decision-making — and why discomfort doesn’t mean you did something wrong.If you’re tired of living in mental replays and ready to feel calmer in your choices, this one’s for you.Send it to the friend who rewrites every text before hitting send.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailDo you ever stare at a task for 30 minutes… and still can’t start?In this ADHD Toolbox episode, I’m walking you through a simple, practical strategy you can use immediately when you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or frozen: The Ladder Method.If you struggle with ADHD paralysis, procrastination, executive dysfunction, or perfectionism, this tool will help you lower the activation energy required to begin. Because here’s the truth: ADHD is not a motivation problem — it’s a task initiation problem.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why ADHD brains struggle with starting tasksWhat’s actually happening during procrastinationHow to break big goals into tiny, manageable stepsHow to use the 10-minute container to build momentumHow to quiet the shame spiral that often comes with executive dysfunctionThis is not a lecture. It’s a guided intervention. I’ll walk you through the exercise in real time so you can apply it to something you’ve been avoiding today.Whether you’re a high-achieving professional, an overwhelmed mom, or someone who “knows what to do” but can’t seem to do it — this episode gives you a concrete tool to move forward.Because you’re not lazy. Your brain just needs a different entry point.If you found this helpful, share it with someone who needs an ADHD reset.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan Mailn this episode, we break down what really works when it comes to ADHD treatment — and why it’s not about fixing your personality or forcing yourself to “try harder.”You’ll learn:The surprising story of how ADHD medication was discovered (it was accidental)Why stimulants calm the ADHD brain instead of hyping it upThe difference between stimulant and non-stimulant medications — and how they work differently in the brainWhy ADHD medication has one of the strongest research track records in psychiatryWhat medication can help with — and what it absolutely cannot doHow therapy supports executive functioning, emotional regulation, and shame repairPractical executive function tools that actually move the needleWe’ll also talk about why so many high-achieving women were overlooked in childhood — and why understanding your brain can be life-changing.ADHD treatment isn’t about discipline. It’s about regulation.And when regulation improves, everything else gets easier.If you’ve been wondering what actually works for ADHD — this episode will give you clarity without the hype.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailDo you have anxiety… or ADHD… or both?If you’ve ever felt constantly overwhelmed, distracted, restless, or stuck in procrastination — this episode is for you.ADHD and anxiety can look almost identical from the outside. Trouble focusing. Racing thoughts. Avoidance. Irritability. Sleep issues. Chronic overwhelm.But the why underneath is very different.In this episode, we break down:Why ADHD and anxiety share so many symptomsThe key neurological difference between executive dysfunction and threat responseHow avoidance driven by fear is different from avoidance driven by frictionWhy caffeine can calm someone with ADHD but spike someone with anxietyHow high-achieving women and moms often get misdiagnosedWhat treatment paths look like for eachWe’ll also talk about why ADHD and anxiety commonly overlap — and how years of untreated ADHD can actually create anxiety over time.This is not about self-diagnosing.It’s about understanding your brain well enough to stop calling yourself lazy, dramatic, or “too much.”If you’ve been wondering what’s actually running the show in your nervous system, this episode will help you ask better questions.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailYou got the promotion. You built the business. You stepped into the new role. You’re doing well.So why do you secretly feel like a fraud?In this episode, we’re unpacking imposter syndrome — why it shows up during success, why it’s so common in your late 20s, 30s, and early 40s, and what’s actually happening in your brain when self-doubt creeps in.Spoiler: Imposter syndrome isn’t proof you’re unqualified. It’s a nervous system response to growth.We’ll talk about:Why leveling up triggers anxietyThe link between perfectionism and self-worthWhy high-functioning adults often struggle with imposter syndromeHow visibility and responsibility increase self-doubtThe psychology behind feeling “found out”If you’ve ever downplayed your accomplishments, overworked to compensate, or waited to be exposed — this episode will make you feel seen.Because feeling like a fraud doesn’t mean you are one. It usually means you’re expanding.Share this with someone who’s secretly doubting themselves while doing incredible things.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailEver wonder why everyday tasks feel exhausting, overwhelming, or harder for you than they seem for everyone else? In this episode, we’re breaking down ADHD in a way that actually makes sense — especially for adults who’ve spent years thinking something was “wrong” with them.As a therapist, I see so many clients who feel scattered, behind, emotionally reactive, or inconsistent despite trying really hard. In this episode, we talk about what ADHD actually feels like in real life, the brain science behind why motivation and focus can be so unpredictable, and why shame and “just try harder” have never worked.You’ll learn:What ADHD really is (and what it’s not)Why ADHD is a regulation-based condition — not a character flawThe role dopamine and executive functioning play in motivation and follow-throughCommon adult ADHD symptoms that often go missed, especially in womenHow both brain wiring and environment influence ADHDWhy life can feel harder even when you’re capable, intelligent, and drivenIf you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, stuck, or chronically behind — this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening in your brain and why you’re not broken.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailWhen emotions spike, it’s easy to feel flooded, anxious, or unable to focus. This TOOLBOX episode teaches you how to use your container—a simple, EMDR-informed emotional regulation skill—to manage overwhelming thoughts and feelings without suppressing them.If you’ve already created a container, this episode shows you how to use it in real-life moments: when anxiety rises, intrusive thoughts loop, or emotions feel too big to hold. If you haven’t, you can still follow along and learn how containment works as a nervous-system regulation tool.In this guided episode, you’ll learn:When to use your container for emotional overwhelmHow to place thoughts, feelings, or memories into the container safelyWhy containment helps calm the nervous systemHow to return to the present without avoidance or shutdownThis episode is especially helpful for people experiencing anxiety, grief, emotional flooding, or difficulty turning their thoughts off. It’s designed to be saved and reused whenever you need support.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailWhen emotions feel overwhelming, it can be hard to focus, think clearly, or stay present. This TOOLBOX episode teaches you how to create your container, a simple, EMDR-informed emotional regulation skill designed to help your nervous system feel safer and more organized.In this guided episode, you’ll be walked through how to create a mental container that can safely hold difficult thoughts, feelings, or memories when they feel too big to manage all at once. This skill is often used in trauma-informed therapy to support emotional regulation without avoidance or suppression.You’ll learn:What a container is and how it helps regulate emotionsWhen and why this skill is useful during overwhelmHow to create a container you can return to anytimeHow containment supports nervous system safetyThis episode is ideal for anyone experiencing anxiety, emotional flooding, grief, or difficulty turning their thoughts off. It’s designed to be saved and reused as a grounding resource whenever you need it.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailGrief feels heavier today—and it’s not just because loss is painful.In this episode, we explore how the loss of ritual in modern life has made grieving harder, lonelier, and more confusing than it used to be. For centuries, religion and culture provided structured grief rituals—like funerals, shiva, memorials, prayer, and communal mourning—that helped people process loss in a contained, supported way.Today, more people identify as non-religious, and many of those rituals have quietly disappeared. What’s left is unstructured grief that often has nowhere to go.As a therapist, I see this show up in clients who struggle to let go of losses such as:The death of a loved oneThe loss of a petBreakups and unresolved relationshipsLife transitions and unacknowledged griefIn this episode, we talk about why grief becomes overwhelming without a container—and why creating personal rituals can be one of the most effective tools for healing.You’ll learn how intentional rituals—like writing a letter and releasing it, honoring anniversaries, or creating space to remember—help the nervous system process loss, create emotional boundaries, and allow you to move forward without forgetting.This episode is for anyone who feels stuck in grief, unsure how to let go, or wondering why loss still feels so raw years later.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailWhat if improving your relationship didn’t require therapy homework, long talks, or weekly date nights?In this episode, we’re breaking down how just 4 intentional minutes a day can dramatically strengthen your relationship—using principles from attachment theory that apply to marriage, parenting, and family life.You’ll learn about the four key moments every day that matter most for emotional connection:When you wake upWhen you separate for the dayWhen you reuniteWhen you go to sleepThese moments of transition are when our nervous systems are most sensitive to connection or disconnection. Taking just 60 seconds in each moment—through eye contact, physical affection, curiosity, and presence—can help build secure attachment, reduce conflict, and create a deeper sense of safety and closeness.This episode is especially helpful if:You feel disconnected from your partner despite loving themYou’re overwhelmed by parenting and daily routinesYou want practical relationship tools grounded in psychologyYou’re curious about how attachment theory shows up in real lifeIf you’re looking for simple, research-based ways to improve communication, emotional safety, and intimacy, this episode gives you something you can start today—no extra time required.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailIf setting boundaries is on your New Year list… but you already feel guilty just thinking about it, this episode is for you.In this episode, I break down 3 realistic ways to set better boundaries this year — without over-explaining, people-pleasing, or blowing up your relationships.We’ll explore why boundaries feel so hard, what’s actually happening in your nervous system, and how to create boundaries that feel sustainable instead of exhausting.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailWe talk a lot about anxiety and depression—but what if the root cause is your hormones? Hormonal imbalance is showing up earlier and more often than it did two decades ago, and it impacts everything from your sleep to your sex drive to your ability to feel joy.In this episode, I’m unpacking why hormone issues are becoming more common, how they can masquerade as mental health struggles, and why HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) can be such a powerful solution. I’ll also break down why some doctors hesitate to prescribe it—and why it’s 100% okay to advocate for yourself and even doctor shop until you find the care you deserve.If you’ve ever wondered whether there’s more to your anxiety, fatigue, or mood swings than just “stress,” this episode is your permission slip to dig deeper.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailYou’re having a normal day—coffee in hand, scrolling your phone—and suddenly your chest tightens, your heart races, and you’re spiraling. That’s a trigger. But what exactly does it mean to be “triggered”?In this episode, I’m breaking down what triggers really are (spoiler: they’re your nervous system’s way of trying to protect you), how to recognize when you’re in the middle of one, and practical tools to help you calm your body and regain control. I’ll share real-life examples from my work as a therapist—and from my own life—because yes, we all get triggered.Whether your buttons get pushed by family drama, your toddler’s meltdown, or something deeper, this quick episode will give you tools to respond with more calm and less chaos.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailEver met someone who just has it—that mix of confidence, warmth, and magnetism that makes people lean in? That’s charisma. And good news: it’s not some magical personality trait you’re either born with or not—it’s a skill you can actually practice.In this episode, I’m breaking down what charisma really is (hint: it’s equal parts warmth and competence), why it matters more than smarts when it comes to relationships and leadership, and simple ways you can start increasing your likeability today. We’ll cover science-backed strategies, a few funny real-life examples, and practical tips you can try right away.Whether you want to connect better at work, with your partner, or even with the other parents at daycare drop-off, this 10-minute crash course will give you the tools to be more magnetic—without being fake.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailEver wondered what EMDR actually is—or why everyone from trauma therapists to TikTok is talking about it? In this episode, I’m breaking down Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (aka EMDR) in plain English. We’ll cover how it works, what the science says, and who it’s really for. I’ll also share how EMDR has impacted me personally and what I’ve seen in my own clients—because spoiler alert: it’s powerful. Whether you’re a therapist curious about adding it to your toolkit or someone wondering if it could help you heal, this crash course is for you.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailThe word "boundaries" has become such a buzzword that many people throw it around without truly understanding what it means. But what exactly are boundaries, and why do so many of us struggle to set them effectively?Boundaries aren't about controlling others—they're guidelines for what you will and won't allow in your life. The key distinction lies in taking responsibility for yourself rather than trying to change someone else's behavior. A true boundary consists of identifying unacceptable behavior and determining what YOU will do if that boundary isn't respected.For those raised with messaging about always being nice, avoiding conflict, or putting others first, boundary-setting feels nearly impossible. Family systems that reward people-pleasing, religious teachings about self-sacrifice, or witnessing parental martyrdom create powerful barriers to establishing healthy limits. Without these boundaries, chronic resentment festers, burnout becomes inevitable, and a confused sense of identity emerges—especially in enmeshed family systems.Through practical examples—from managing intrusive conversations with parents to creating decompression time after work—this episode provides concrete strategies for implementing boundaries in everyday life. The guilt that initially accompanies boundary-setting is normal, comparable to the discomfort of learning any new skill. By starting small, being consistent, and using supportive mantras like "Discomfort is not danger" and "Boundaries create safety, not separation," you can build momentum toward a more balanced, self-respecting life.Ready to stop leaking energy because you're afraid to set limits? This episode walks you through a simple journaling exercise to identify where boundaries are needed most, and offers a step-by-step approach to practicing this essential self-care skill. Because ultimately, a well-boundaried you is better for everyone in your life—whether they realize it or not.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailEver found yourself drawn to someone who couldn't quite decide if they wanted you? The Harrison-Lauren-Tony love triangle from Love Island UK Season 12 offers a perfect case study in toxic relationship patterns that might feel eerily familiar.This captivating analysis breaks down the psychological dynamics at play when a charming but emotionally withholding person keeps multiple partners on the hook. Harrison's classic avoidant attachment style—complete with ambiguous feelings, surface-level connection, and an "I'm still deciding" approach—creates the perfect storm of manipulation. Through intermittent reinforcement (the same psychological principle that makes gambling addictive), he keeps both women in a perpetual state of hope and confusion.The women's responses reveal different manifestations of anxious attachment: Tony overtly emotional and desperate to prove her worth, Lauren hiding behind a "cool girl" mask while crumbling inside. Both smart, beautiful women stay caught in this dynamic not because of bad luck in love, but because of deep-seated attachment patterns.What makes this analysis so powerful is how it exposes the red flags we often miss: when someone's feelings are confusing from day one, when they disengage during conflict, or when they reframe manipulation as "just being honest." As the episode points out with crystal clarity: "A man who's unsure about you is sure enough to walk away."Whether you're a Love Island fan or simply recognize these patterns from your own dating history, this deep dive offers more than just entertainment—it provides a pathway to understanding your attachment style and breaking free from toxic cycles. Ready to stop dating Harrisons? Your first step is recognizing what's really happening beneath all those breadcrumbs of affection.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailHave you ever felt responsible for a parent's emotional wellbeing? Been called "the only one they can talk to" or "their rock"? That special closeness you felt might actually have been something therapists call emotional incest—a hidden form of boundary violation that shapes how we connect with others well into adulthood.Emotional incest occurs when a parent turns to their child to fulfill emotional needs typically reserved for adult relationships. Unlike physical or sexual abuse, it's often disguised as love, creating confusion for survivors who struggle to recognize its harmful effects. This dynamic frequently emerges in families with an absent, addicted, or emotionally immature parent, leading to a triangulation that pulls children across boundaries into adult roles they're developmentally unprepared to handle.The impact on adult relationships is profound. Survivors typically struggle with setting boundaries, confuse unhealthy enmeshment with intimacy, and often become chronic people-pleasers or over-functioners in relationships. Many battle persistent guilt when prioritizing their own needs or fear they're "too much" for others. Recovery begins with the powerful realization that it was never your job to emotionally caretake your parent. From there, practicing firm boundaries becomes essential, along with grieving the parent you deserved versus the one you had.If any of this resonates with your experience, know that healing is possible. Consider working with a therapist trained in modalities like Internal Family Systems or EMDR to process this relational trauma. With awareness and support, you can break these generational patterns and create the healthy, authentic connections you deserve. Join me for an empowering discussion about recognizing, understanding, and healing from the subtle but significant wounds of emotional incest.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailWere you the only child who was “so mature for your age”—but never really got to be a kid? In this episode, we dive into what it’s really like growing up without siblings and how that shapes your identity, relationships, and emotional habits as an adult.Drawing from birth order psychology and Family Systems Theory, we explore how only children miss the sibling subsystem—your first environment for social learning—and what happens when you become the emotional container for your entire family. From hyper-independence to emotional overload, this one’s for every adult who grew up as a one-person support team.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailAre you the youngest child who’s always been seen as “the fun one”—but never quite taken seriously? In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re breaking down the psychology of the youngest child: how being the “baby” of the family shapes your personality, relationships, and sense of identity.We explore how youngest kids often become the entertainer or escape artist, the impact of being underestimated, and how this birth order role can lead to charm, deflection, and hidden pressure to prove yourself in adulthood. It’s not all fun and games when you’re secretly tired of being seen as “the irresponsible one.”Whether you’re the family wildcard or the secretly exhausted youngest, this episode will help you unpack what you inherited—and how to outgrow it.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailWere you the middle child—the one who stayed out of the way, kept the peace, and quietly handled your own emotional needs? You’re not alone. In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we dive deep into the psychology of middle child syndrome, emotional distancing, and why so many middle children become chronic people-pleasers or “distancers” in adulthood.We’ll talk about how middle children are shaped by their role in the family, what happens when your needs are ignored, and how that invisibility can turn into emotional walls later in life. Plus: the difference between being the middle of three vs. the second of two, and why that matters more than you might think.Whether you’re a recovering mediator or the “easy” one who no one checked on, this episode is your permission slip to stop shrinking and start taking up space.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailAre you the firstborn and secretly exhausted? You’re not alone. In this episode, we dive deep into the eldest child experience—how being the “responsible one” often leads to perfectionism, people-pleasing, burnout, and emotional overfunctioning in adulthood.If you were basically a third parent growing up, this one’s for you. We’ll talk about parentification, high-achiever syndrome, and how to start setting boundaries with the roles you’ve outgrown.Keywords: eldest child traits, birth order psychology, parentified child, high-achiever burnout, therapy podcast, perfectionism, family dynamics, childhood roles in adulthoodThis podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailDid your family birth order shape your personality? Spoiler: yep. In this episode, we explore how birth order influences your identity, temperament, and adult relationships. Whether you're the eldest child, middle child, youngest, or only child, this episode helps you understand how your role in the family still shows up in your life today.You’ll learn the psychology behind birth order, what patterns to look for, and how to break free from the expectations you never asked for.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailEver feel like you're constantly running on a productivity treadmill, unable to step off without experiencing overwhelming guilt and anxiety? You're not alone. What looks like ambition and high achievement might actually be anxiety masquerading as motivation – and over time, it can evolve into something more concerning.In this revealing episode, we explore how childhood messages about productivity and worth create deeply ingrained neural pathways that follow us into adulthood. When our parents or caregivers unconsciously taught us that our value comes from what we accomplish rather than who we are, we developed thinking patterns that trained our nervous systems to feel unsafe whenever we try to rest. This high-functioning anxiety creates a constant background hum telling us we should be doing more, and we can't slow down without falling behind.The most fascinating part? This pattern often transforms into what therapists call "Pure O" OCD – a quieter form of obsessive-compulsive disorder that doesn't involve the stereotypical hand-washing or lock-checking behaviors. Instead, it manifests as internal rules, mental rituals, and relentless "shoulds" that drive our behavior. The productivity loop becomes addictive: feel anxious, do something productive, experience temporary relief, repeat. It's particularly insidious because our culture actually praises this harmful pattern, mistaking trauma responses for motivation and "hustle." I share practical strategies for breaking free from this cycle, starting with simply noticing when you're acting from pressure versus genuine desire, and practicing sitting with the discomfort of incomplete tasks. Your worth isn't measured by checked boxes on a to-do list, and you deserve to be present for the people and experiences that matter most in your life. Ready to transform your relationship with productivity? Listen now and take the first step toward authentic motivation and true balance.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailEver hit a milestone and still feel... kinda hollow? Or find yourself needing everyone else’s opinion before you can trust your own? Been there. And spoiler alert: It’s not because you’re broken.It’s because most of us were raised in homes where self-validation wasn’t modeled—so now we second-guess everything from our feelings to our freaking lunch order. In this episode, I’m breaking down why learning to validate yourself is the foundation for real confidence, calm, and clarity.We’ll talk about:Why “outsourcing your reality” leaves you anxious, resentful, and stuckHow your inner critic got installed (and how to replace it)Three self-validation practices that actually work—no journal prompts requiredThis isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about naming what’s real, responding to yourself like someone who actually likes you, and learning to separate past triggers from present-day truth.If you’re done twisting yourself up trying to be palatable, likable, or agreeable—this one’s for you.Ready to become your own biggest ally? Hit play. Then send this to the friend who needs to hear, “You make sense. You’re doing great. You don’t need permission to feel how you feel.”This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailThe quiet dismissal of your feelings? That sh*t cuts deeper than yelling ever could.When someone avoids eye contact, scrolls their phone mid-convo, or chuckles at your story like it’s a joke—they might not say anything cruel, but your nervous system still gets the memo: You don’t matter here.After a recent family visit left me feeling invisible and low-key spiraling, I had to unpack the slow-burn pain of emotional invalidation. If you grew up in a family where your feelings were ignored, mocked, or met with a blank stare, this episode is for you.We’ll talk about:How invalidation messes with your self-esteem and nervous systemWhy subtle exclusion can trigger social anxiety, fawning, or people-pleasingWhat to do when it happens again (because let’s be honest—it will)How to validate yourself first and stop internalizing the rejectionSpoiler: people who dismiss you aren’t always evil—they’re just unbaked cookies (aka emotionally underdeveloped). But you? You’re allowed to feel what you feel. You’re allowed to take up space.Grab my free boundary-setting scripts at kaylareilly.com/saythis, and remember—sometimes the most healing thing is finally seeing yourself.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailDr. Larry Waldman brings decades of forensic psychology experience to this raw, insightful conversation about the hidden casualties of divorce – the children caught in the crossfire between warring parents. Drawing from twenty years as the expert judges called on during high-conflict custody battles, Dr. Waldman exposes the psychological damage inflicted when parents prioritize their hurt feelings over their children's wellbeing."Kids are born naked and naive. What they see in their home, as far as they're concerned, is their reality," Dr. Waldman explains. When that reality fractures during divorce, children experience profound disorientation and insecurity. The conversation delves deep into parental behaviors that create what he calls a "loyalty squeeze" – when children feel torn between two people they love, unsure who to trust or believe.The episode reveals startling patterns: children's academic performance dropping, social withdrawal, depression, eating and sleeping disturbances – all stemming from being caught in parental conflict. Perhaps most eye-opening is Dr. Waldman's observation that alienated children often reach adolescence or young adulthood and suddenly realize they've been manipulated, sometimes cutting off the alienating parent entirely.Beyond alienation, we explore other common "sins" divorcing parents commit: fighting in front of children, using them as confidants, the "Disney parent" syndrome, and rushing into new relationships (explaining why second marriages fail at an alarming 65% rate). Dr. Waldman offers practical, compassionate strategies for protecting children during separation – speaking positively about your ex, maintaining consistency between households, and seeking professional support.Whether you're navigating divorce, supporting someone who is, or processing your own experience as a child of divorced parents, this conversation offers validation, clarity and a roadmap for breaking destructive patterns. As Dr. Waldman wisely concludes: "You have to put the kids' needs first."This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailAre you staring at your calendar wondering how you'll face another workday? That crushing exhaustion isn't just tiredness—it's burnout, and it's reached epidemic levels among high-achievers and caregivers.In this eye-opening conversation with psychologist Dr. Jessica Tai, we dive into the science behind workplace burnout, revealing why it's now an official diagnosis with three distinct types that affect us differently. From the frenetic burnout that drives us to check emails during family dinner to the worn-out burnout that makes everything feel urgent, we unpack the hidden symptoms our culture has normalized as "just being busy."What makes this episode particularly powerful is Dr. Tai's surprising revelation that 99% of her burnout clients stay in their jobs after implementing her recovery strategies. The problem isn't necessarily your career—it's your relationship with work and the boundaries you've never learned to set.You'll discover practical, immediately applicable techniques to break free from the burnout cycle without sacrificing your success. Learn how a simple dopamine detox can reset your anxious mind, why processing your workplace stress is essential for mental clarity, and how small boundary shifts can reclaim hours of your life each week.For anyone who's feeling depleted, resentful, or trapped in their career, this conversation offers hope and tangible solutions. Your work doesn't have to consume your identity or drain your soul. Listen now to discover how making your work work for you might be simpler than you think.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailEver wondered why it's so hard to simply ask for what you need in relationships? Former attorney turned emotional intelligence coach Erin Darden brings clarity to this struggle, revealing how societal expectations, fear of rejection, and our own internalized guilt create barriers to honest communication."You can't pour from an empty cup, but women do it all the time," Erin observes, highlighting how many women see advocating for their needs as selfish rather than essential. Through our conversation, she unpacks the psychological and social factors that keep women silent, offering practical strategies to break this pattern.The magic of this episode lies in its actionable advice. Erin shares her "magic sentence" formula—"I felt [emotion] when you [specific action], moving forward, can we [solution]?"—a simple yet powerful framework that transforms how you communicate. She emphasizes the importance of processing emotions before conversations and being specific about what you need, rather than expecting others to figure it out.We explore the balance between assertiveness and aggression, the value of empathy even when it's difficult, and how to recognize when you're in relationships that consistently dismiss your needs. As Erin aptly puts it, "Don't go to a hardware store for bread"—sometimes we need to accept that certain people cannot provide the emotional support we're seeking.Whether you're struggling in romantic relationships, friendships, or family dynamics, this episode provides the emotional intelligence tools to express yourself clearly and confidently. Challenge yourself to practice these strategies in small ways—your relationships (and your wellbeing) will thank you.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailStruggling to feel close to your partner in a long-term relationship? Tired of fighting about the same things over and over—like dishes, chores, or who's doing bedtime? You’re not alone—and the issue probably isn’t what you think it is.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, I sit down with couples and individual therapist Amy Phillips, one of our seasoned clinicians at Evolution Wellness in Wilmington, NC. We dive deep into what drives emotional intimacy in long-term relationships, why couples often feel disconnected over time, and what to do when your communication keeps turning into conflict.We unpack the psychology behind emotional connection, explore the Gottman concept of “bids for connection” (and why they’re so important), and talk about how simple shifts in attention, tone, and timing can bring the spark back to your relationship. Whether you're in the honeymoon stage or a decade in, this episode gives real, practical advice for building stronger communication and connection with your partner—without needing to overhaul your whole life.Plus, we get into:Why your arguments often have nothing to do with the surface issueHow to tell when your partner is making a bid for connectionWays to respond to those bids and repair emotional disconnectionThe importance of balancing quality time and alone timeHow small daily interactions build lasting emotional intimacyIf you're in a long-term relationship and want to deepen connection, improve communication, and feel more like a team again—this one’s a must-listen.💬 Want to work with Amy? If you’re a resident of North Carolina, she offers both in-person and telehealth sessions through EvolutionWellnessNC.com.💻 Want to work with me, Kayla? I take a limited number of 1:1 coaching clients—learn more at kaylareilly.com/workwithme.🎧 And don’t forget to subscribe and binge more episodes of Not Your Therapist—packed with mental health truth bombs to level up your relationships, mindset, and life.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailWhen Amanda Hofmann became a mom in January 2020—just as the world shut down—her life took a wild turn. A seasoned event planner suddenly found herself navigating new motherhood, postpartum anxiety, and total isolation. So what did she do? She strapped her baby into a stroller, started walking the parks of Wilmington, NC… and accidentally created one of the most loved parenting resources in the area: The Wilmington Mom.In this episode, Amanda and I get real about what it actually feels like to become a mom—and how no amount of planning can prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster. We talk about the identity crisis, the burnout, and the mental health struggles so many moms silently carry. Did you know 62% of parents report burnout, and 73% of millennial moms admit they hide their stress from their families? Yeah. That.Amanda also shares her personal experience with postpartum anxiety, including the vivid, intrusive thoughts no one warns you about. It’s raw, honest, and something up to 15% of new moms experience—but most don’t have the words or support to talk about.We also dive into the magic of finding your village—whether it’s a moms’ group like MomCo, a local nonprofit like Fourth Trimester Mission, or just a few other women who say, “Yep, same here.” Amanda offers practical tips for introverted moms, and we explore how community can literally save your sanity.Oh—and stick around for the part where we talk about how water literally calms your nervous system. No, really. If you take away one thing from this episode, it might just be: get in water, go outside, and call a friend.If you’re a new mom, an overwhelmed mom, or a woman wondering why motherhood feels heavier than you expected—this one’s for you. You are not alone in this beautiful, messy ride.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailYour Body Isn’t the Enemy—It’s Fighting for YouDiet culture has fed us a lie: that thinness equals health, worth, and discipline. But what if everything you’ve been taught about food and your body is wrong? Specialist eating disorder dietitian Emma Townsin is here to flip the script on restrictive diets, emotional eating, and why your body isn’t sabotaging you—it’s actually trying to keep you alive.From childhood, we absorb sneaky messages linking thinness to morality—through cartoons, movies, casual comments, and even healthcare providers whose training is often backed by the weight loss and pharmaceutical industries. The result? A society obsessed with shrinking bodies, leading to cycles of shame, restriction, and disordered eating.Emma breaks down the science of food restriction and why dieting backfires. When you cut calories or try to control your weight, your body goes into survival mode—boosting hunger, obsessing over food, and slowing metabolism. That’s why diets fail long-term, and why even people in larger bodies can be physiologically starving. The most shocking truth? Many people with eating disorders in bigger bodies are ignored or even encouraged to keep dieting—even when they meet clinical criteria for anorexia.So, what’s the game-changer? Collaboration over control. Instead of battling cravings or blaming yourself for emotional eating, you can learn to decode what your body is trying to tell you. Much like mindfulness teaches us to listen to emotions rather than suppress them, we can apply the same approach to hunger, fullness, and cravings—because your body isn’t broken, it’s on your side.If you struggle with constant food thoughts, stress around eating, or feel like your hunger is out of control, this episode will shift your perspective. As Emma puts it: When we stop fighting our bodies and start listening, we unlock real food freedom—and a healthier, more compassionate relationship with ourselves.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailEver wonder what your therapist really thinks about you? 🤔 In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed therapist Darrian Pelkey, MSW, LCSWA, joins me to spill the tea on what goes on behind the scenes in therapy.We’re pulling back the curtain on the things therapists wish clients knew—from common misconceptions about therapy to what we actually think when you apologize for crying in session. If you’ve ever worried about being a “bad” client, overthought what you said after a session, or wondered if your therapist is judging you, this one’s for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✅ The biggest myths about therapy (and why they’re totally wrong) ✅ How therapists really feel about late cancellations, oversharing, and ghosting ✅ Why your therapist isn’t sitting there analyzing your every word (seriously, we promise) ✅ The one thing therapists wish more clients understood about the process ✅ How to get the most out of therapy—without feeling awkward or self-consciousTherapy is a judgment-free zone, but so many clients carry unnecessary guilt, shame, or uncertainty about the process. Let’s clear the air and make therapy feel less intimidating and more empowering.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailStruggling with low libido? Feeling disconnected from your partner? You're not alone. In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed sex therapist Shie Benisti, LCSW, CST, joins us to break down the real reasons why sexual desire fluctuates—and what you can do to bring intimacy back.We dive into the mental, emotional, and relational blocks that impact desire, including the role of stress, hormonal changes, and the mental load that disproportionately affects women. Shie also shares practical, no-BS strategies to shift from frazzled to fulfilled in your sex life.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✅ Why libido isn’t static—and what naturally impacts desire over time ✅ How the mental load (work, kids, responsibilities) kills intimacy ✅ The surprising reason why “performance anxiety” makes things worse ✅ The connection between past trauma and sexual desire ✅ How to navigate mismatched libidos in a relationship ✅ Simple, science-backed ways to reignite intimacyIf you’ve ever wondered, “Why don’t I want sex anymore?” or “How do I get the spark back?”—this episode is for you.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailEver feel like your emotions hijack your brain before you even have a chance to think? Emotional regulation is the key to handling stress, frustration, and overwhelm without exploding (or shutting down). In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we’re breaking down what emotional regulation actually means, why it’s so hard sometimes, and how to stop flipping out—even when someone totally deserves it.💡 What You’ll Learn:✔️ What emotional regulation is (and what it isn’t)✔️ Why your brain struggles to stay calm under stress✔️ Simple, science-backed ways to regulate emotions in real time✔️ How therapy can help you break toxic emotional patternsIf you’ve ever lost your cool, sent a regrettable text, or let your emotions run the show—this one’s for you. 🎧 Hit play now and start managing your emotions like a pro!#EmotionalRegulation #MentalHealthPodcast #ShrinkShots #Therapy101 #SelfGrowthThis podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailEver wondered why you have emotions—or why they sometimes feel like they’re running your entire life? In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we’re breaking down the science behind emotions, what they’re actually trying to tell you, and how to deal with them without letting them take over. Spoiler alert: Your emotions aren’t the enemy—they’re data. You just need to know how to read them.💡 What You’ll Learn:✔️ What emotions really are and why they exist✔️ Why some emotions feel way too intense✔️ How to process emotions instead of ignoring or drowning in them✔️ When therapy can help you manage emotional overwhelmIf you’ve ever thought, “Why am I like this?”—this episode is for you. 🎧 Hit play and start making sense of your feelings today!#Emotions #MentalHealthPodcast #ShrinkShots #EmotionalIntelligence #Therapy101This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailEver feel like you’re either all in on health—meal prepping, intense workouts, cutting out everything fun—or completely off the wagon? That all-or-nothing mindset is exhausting, unsustainable, and (spoiler alert) not the key to long-term health.In this episode, I sit down with health coach Liz Rodriguez to reframe what real wellness looks like. We’re ditching the toxic perfectionism around food and fitness and learning how to create a healthy lifestyle that actually fits into your life.💡 What You’ll Learn:✔️ How to break free from all-or-nothing thinking around food and exercise✔️ Why being healthy doesn’t mean giving up the foods you love (yes, even Cheez-Its!)✔️ Creative ways to fit sustainable wellness habits into your routine✔️ How to stop feeling guilty when life isn’t perfectly balancedThis is my very first guest episode, and Liz is the perfect person to kick it off—funny, down-to-earth, and full of real advice you can actually use.Liz Rodriguez is a health coach who helps people redefine what health looks like so they can build sustainable habits without burnout. She believes in progress over perfection and teaches her clients how to ditch restrictive rules, reframe their mindset, and enjoy the process of living a healthy life.Find Liz online:🌐 Website: lizrodriguezcoaching.com📌 Facebook: Liz Rodriguez Coaching🎧 Hit play now and start redefining health on your terms!This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailDid your childhood leave you with some emotional gaps? Enter reparenting—the process of giving yourself the love, support, and validation you may not have received growing up. In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we break down what reparenting is, why it matters, and how you can start healing old wounds by becoming the nurturing, compassionate parent you needed. Learn practical strategies to soothe your inner child, set healthier boundaries, and rewrite the messages that still impact your self-worth today.💡 Topics Covered:✔️ What is reparenting, and why does it matter?✔️ Signs you might need to reparent yourself✔️ Simple ways to start reparenting today✔️ How working with a therapist can deepen your healingIf you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying emotional baggage from childhood, this episode is for you. Hit play and start giving yourself the care you deserve!🎧 Listen now and don’t forget to subscribe for more no-BS mental health insights!#Reparenting #InnerChildHealing #MentalHealthPodcast #EmotionalHealing #ShrinkShotsThis podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailDissociation: When ‘Zoning Out’ Is Actually a Trauma ResponseEver found yourself zoning out mid-conversation or realizing you don’t remember the last five minutes of your drive? You’re not alone. This might be dissociation, a psychological defense mechanism that helps protect the brain from stress and trauma.In this episode of Shrink Shots, we break down:✅ What dissociation is and why it happens.✅ The neuroscience behind dissociation—how the brain responds to trauma.✅ Signs you may be experiencing dissociation (hint: it’s more common than you think).✅ Practical strategies to stay present and regain control.✅ Evidence-based therapies like EMDR, DBT, and Somatic Experiencing that can help.Dissociation isn’t just “spacing out”—it’s your brain’s way of coping. But the good news? You’re not stuck here. Learn how to recognize and manage dissociation so you can reclaim your sense of self and presence.🎧 Listen now & take the first step toward healing!This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailDid you know your gut is your “second brain”? The connection between your gut and brain, known as the gut-brain axis, plays a huge role in your mental health. In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we explore how what you eat can impact anxiety, depression, and your overall mood.Learn why your gut health matters, the signs of gut imbalance, and the foods that can either harm or heal your microbiome. We’ll also share simple, practical steps to improve your gut health, like incorporating probiotic-rich foods, managing stress, and staying hydrated. If you’re ready to take a deeper look at the connection between diet and mental wellness, this episode is for you.Tune in to discover how small changes to your diet and lifestyle can lead to big improvements in your mood and mental clarity.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨

Send us Fan MailYour brain is constantly filtering reality, but what if those filters are twisting the truth? Cognitive distortions are sneaky thought patterns that make you believe things that aren’t actually true—and they’re a major reason behind anxiety, relationship problems, and low self-esteem.In this episode of Shrink Shots, we’re breaking down:✅ What cognitive distortions are and how they hijack your thinking✅ Real-life examples of distorted thinking in celebrities, politicians, and pop culture✅ The top cognitive distortions that fuel anxiety, self-doubt, and overthinking✅ How to catch and challenge these faulty thought patterns before they ruin your dayIf you’ve ever spiraled into worst-case-scenario thinking, assumed people were mad at you with no proof, or felt like one mistake defined your whole life, your brain might be lying to you.🎧 Hit play now to learn how to clean up your mental filters and stop falling for your own brain’s tricks.This podcast is meant to be a conversation — not a lecture. 🖤Have thoughts, questions, or a topic you want covered? Or want to share how this episode supported you?Find me in IG @the_spicytherapist✨