Penny Men

What starts as a debate over Koopa Troopas quickly mutates into a full-blown Mario cosmology breakdown!This episode includes:Whether Koopa Troopas are a species or Bowser’s first conquered armyThe reptile family tree linking Koopas, Troopas, and YoshisDinosaur canon confusion across the Mario timelineBowser’s empire-building through propaganda and assimilationMario Party’s Koopa Kid identity crisisToy clones, magic creations, and generic species chaosThe WarioWare cinematic universe invading Luigi’s downtimeNintendo crossovers and dimensional leaks everywhere!…and then the real topic takes over:Stars as wish-granting cosmic beingsWhy invincibility is literally Mario’s wish powerStar Road as the backbone of the universeStar Spirits, Star Rod, Geno, and celestial interventionBowser weaponizing star magic like every villain before him!By the end, the Penny Men accidentally uncover the truth!

Is Mario from Brooklyn… or from beyond reality itself? This week, The Penny Men descend head-first into warp pipe cosmology as Tom unveils a unified theory that finally reconciles every layer of Mario canon — the cartoons, the arcade origins, Odyssey’s Metro Kingdom, Captain N, WarioWare, SimCity, and even Presidents shaking hands with plumbers!Gregory, Tom, and Ben break Mario’s universe into three stacked planes of existence:Earth Reality (our world, where Mario is a video game)Earth Prime (the cartoon Brooklyn where Donkey Kong kidnaps Pauline and Bowser attacks cities)The Mushroom Dimension (a Narnia-like fantasy world accessed only through pipes)!Along the way they uncover:Why Pauline barely remembers Mario in OdysseyHow Diamond City and WarioWare fit into Mario’s real-world aftermathBowser and Wario as corrupted reflections of royal lineageHow Nintendo accidentally created a Kingdom Hearts-style multiverseWhy Mario exists as legend, hero, and video game simultaneously!This isn’t just lore speculation — it’s a full multiversal framework that turns decades of contradictions into one epic, coherent mythology!The pipes don’t just connect worlds! They connect realities!

Hour five of "The Life and Times" is where the Penny Men stop politely theorizing and just start building a Mario cosmology with power tools! Ben, Greg, and Tom lock in the multi-era, master timeline, stretch it all the way to 1996, and finally explain why Mario ends up living in a house instead of a castle!This is the episode where everything snaps into place!ERA THREE: The Rebellion Era:Everybody is a young adult. Everybody hates their destiny.Mario → wants to be a plumber, not a princeLuigi → anxious, snarky, accidentally heroicPeach → adopted alien princess, burdened with responsibilityBowser → rejects marriage politics, wants total conquestPauline → Mario’s emotional foilDonkey Kong → circus gorilla prince in exileWaluigi, Stanley, Spike → lurking in the background, waiting to become problems!It all ends when:Bowser starts torching citiesTurtles invade EarthMario and Luigi fall down the drainEveryone forgets the Mushroom Kingdom like it’s Oz! ERA FOUR: The Mushroom SagaThe classic quest eraMario Bros.Super Mario Bros.The Lost LevelsSuper Mario Bros. 2 (the war + dreams)Super Mario Land 1 (Sarasaland + Tatanga)The Super Mario Bros. Super ShowSuper Mario Bros. 3 (game + cartoon)This is the full “save the Mushroom Kingdom” arc — kings turned into animals, wands, warp pipes, and Koopalings everywhere!Ends when:The Mushroom Kingdom is finally safeThe heroes are sent to defend Dinosaur Land!ERA FIVE: Dinosaur WorldYoshi’s time to shineSuper Mario World (game + cartoon)Yoshi's CookieYoshi's SafariStar Road loreYoshi PrimeEgg cursesDino Kingdom politicsThis is the “sprites have no dialogue” era, where we fill in all the emotional blanks!Ends when:Mario goes homeHis castle is goneWario has moved in!ERA SIX: The Wario WarsThis is where it gets petty, pirate-y, and deeply sadThe Castle SagaSuper Mario Land 2: Six Golden CoinsWario takes Mario’s castleTatanga becomes his henchmanMario Land 3 / Wario Land 1Captain Syrup steals Peach’s golden statueWario steals it from herMario steals it backA genie gives Wario a castleWario Land 2Captain Syrup steals all Wario’s moneyWario’s WoodsWario builds a castle in fairy landToad, Birdo, and a fairy blow it upWario finally becomes a king……and loses it to Toad!🕰️ Why It All Ends in 1996 - Because 1996 is when:Mario goes 3D (Mario 64)Donkey Kong goes 3DMario lives in a house, not a castle (Mario RPG)The royal wars are overThe lineage drama is doneEveryone loses the throne!The Star Frame - All of this is being told by Rosalina to the Seven Star Children — a cosmic Scheherazade story that admits:Nintendo canon is messyMemory is unreliableProphecy is flexibleThe truth is always a little warpedSeven childrenSeven destiniesRoyal bloodlinesAdopted heirsForgotten worldsLost castlesEggsStarsPlumbers!This is Mario as dynastic tragedy, cartoon epic, and generational trauma — and it somehow still makes sense!Welcome to Hour Five! 🍄✨

Hour four of "The Life and Times " is where things officially get unhinged! The Penny Men pick up exactly where they left off and begin reinforcing the Mario timeline with fresh cartilage, connective tissue, and possibly forbidden star magic! Using Tom’s original 12-issue framework as the skeleton, Ben arrives with a week’s worth of lore research to rebuild Mario history by eras, not just games!In this episode, we tackle:The Seven Star Children:MarioLuigiPeachDonkey Kong (and yes, Cranky)Bowser (surprise!)Yoshi (which one? several!)Wario (the odd man out)!Yoshi Discourse (Brace Yourself)Adult Yoshi vs. Baby Yoshi vs. Egg YoshiStar Child Yoshi vs. Tribe of YoshisDe-aging, egg imprisonment, and disappearances“Mama Luigi” finally makes sense (kind of)!Royal Bloodlines & Power PlaysMushroom Kingdom politicsKoopa ambition and arranged marriagesMario as secret nobilityPeach as an alien/star princess/adopted monarchDK, Yoshi, and Bowser as rival kings-in-waiting!The Real World EraWhy Mario, Luigi, and Wario grow up outside the Mushroom KingdomStorks, adoption, and Italian familiesForeman Spike: worst dad, best villain originCement factories, pie jobs, and resentment arcs!Big Lore Questions We Absolutely Try to AnswerWhy Bowser is hunting babiesHow time works in the Mushroom KingdomWhy Cranky ages and Mario doesn’tWhether Paper Mario counts (jury’s out)How to turn all of this into a coherent comic series!It’s Mario lore as epic fantasy, dynastic tragedy, and workplace comedy!Stars fall! Eggs hatch! Princes gets sent to Brooklyn!Welcome back to the cartilage bucket!

The Penny Men continue their increasingly unhinged attempt to construct a unified Mario canon!Picking up right where we left off, Tom unveils Issue #9 of his 12-issue “Life and Times of Mario” epic, covering:The Super Mario Bros. Super Show eraThe plumbing yearsThe celebrity yearsAnd the strange liminal period where Mario and Luigi are hanging out with wrestlers, sad-eyed orphans, and Rip Van Winkle while destiny quietly assembles an army against them!While the Brothers live their dream in Brooklyn:Princess Peach is thrust into leadershipBowser consolidates powerWart mobilizes the 8-Bit GangCaptain Syrup mocks everyone from the sidelinesAnd Toad accidentally sparks an international villain summit after immediately losing the Kingdom’s most powerful artifacts!Along the way, the Penny Men:Definitively establish the Three Donkey Kongs Theory (and finally put the Pauline confusion to rest)Untangle Yoshi canon, Star Children, time travel, and baby kidnappingsDecide how The Super Show, Mario 3, Captain N, and the pipes between worlds actually workDebate whether Bowser is a self-made tyrant, a failed diplomat, or bothAnd explore the moment when every separate Mario storyline finally begins to converge!This is the episode where everything starts coming together — heroes drifting back toward the Mushroom World, villains choosing sides, and one final warp pipe preparing to swallow the Mario Brothers for good!!

The Penny Men attempt to responsibly outline a 12-issue prestige comic chronicling the entire life of Mario! Instead, they unleash a multiversal lore spiral involving:Star ChildrenBrooklyn ItaliansYoshi adoption lawsFrank Zappa as a Mario brother (locked in)Koopa royal politicsArranged turtle marriagesFry Guys via lava exposureAnd a plumber who vanished into legend!Along the way: Baby murders (of turtles)Wrecking Crew dadsDon Rosa energyRaimi-style villain parallelsAnd the most unhinged family tree Nintendo never approved!This one’s big picture! Too big! 🍄⭐

This week, the Penny Men attempt the impossible: a unified, chronological Mario canon! From Yoshi’s Island to Brooklyn, instruction manuals to cartoons, manga to coloring books, and time travel rules that mostly make sense, Tom unveils his long-gestating “Life and Times of Mario” project! Ben interrogates the rules of reality, Gregory plays referee, and everyone agrees Bowser is a single dad of eight!Lore is respected, retcons are judged, Rosalina looms, and nothing is settled—except that this was always going to happen!

The Penny Men return to the Hall of Justice for part two of their Super Friends deep dive! Ben, Gregory, and Tom break down the Challenge of the Super Friends era, including the debut of the Legion of Doom, the rotating Hanna-Barbera formats, and the legal headaches that led to Black Vulcan, Samurai, and Apache Chief replacing familiar DC heroes!From there, the conversation jumps from the cartoon to the comics, exploring:Nelson Bridwell’s ambitious Global GuardiansThe rise of Fire and IceDr. Mist’s immortal originsAnd a surprising number of Super Friends stories that were far darker—and stranger—than their Saturday morning reputation suggests!Along the way, the Penny Men cover:Lost pitches involving Dr. SivanaForgotten villains like Grax and World BreakerPokémon-style animal combatAnd why Super Friends comics quietly became a testing ground for ideas that would later shape DC’s wider universe!Super teams, super villains, and super deep cuts—this is Super Friends like you’ve never heard it before!

The Penny Men dive headfirst into the wobulous, Hanna-Barbera-fueled world of Super Friends, where cosmic legends fight injustice, censorship fights punches, and Wonder Dog somehow outranks Krypto!The Penny Men lead you through a surprisingly dense exploration of Super Friends lore—covering the cartoons, the comics, the junior Justice League, the Super Foes, and why Batman keeps letting children wander into active crime scenes!Along the way, the guys unpack: 1970s broadcast standardsEnvironmental PSA villainsFilmation leftoversContinuity gymnastic And the philosophical question: what element is Batman, really?Expect: Deep DC cutsHanna-Barbera triviaCasey Kasem voice-count mathAquaman villain slanderAnd a passionate defense of Wendy and Marvin as the most competent people in the Hall of Justice!Some of us are super!Some of us are friends!All of us are recording!

Holy draft board, Penny People! The full Penny Men ensemble assembles — Ben, Gregory, Tom, Michal, and even Kit Kat (Jar Jar emphatically not invited) — for a batarang-loaded Batman Classics Fantasy Draft!With the Phantom Jar looming and George Lucas apparently letting himself into the studio, the boys lay out this episode’s rules… and immediately start breaking them!Each host builds the ultimate six-hero, six-villain lineup for their dream Batman story: One BatmanOne civilianOne guest hero from a Bat-related teamA bat-vehicle (specific make, please)And a single villain drafted onto the hero side!Naturally, this devolves instantly into Bronze Age deep cuts, questionable eligibility, and at least one giant chicken!Greg kicks us off with hand-drawn hero and villain rosters (yes, actual art), featuring: Bruce Wayne riding Joker’s massive poultry from Detective Comics #332The return of the extremely obscure Getaway GeniusAnd a rulebook treated more as gentle suggestion than binding contract!It’s comics nerdery! It’s chaos! It’s philosophy! It’s The Penny Men!Atomic batteries to power! Turbines to speed! Let the lineup begin!

Cousins Ben and Michael finally unite East and West in this long-awaited crossover: The Pennymen meet The Pennymen West Coast for the sacred, years-teased mission — the Batman Episode!They trace their Bat-origins from one-inch metal figurines, McDonald’s tie-ins, and grocery-store spinner racks to the defining after-school ritual of Batman: The Animated Series! They talk back-issue archaeology, 3-for-a-buck treasure hunts, and the moment Batman quietly became the all-timer for both of them!From there, the conversation spirals deep into the long arcs:Revisiting Year One, The Long Halloween, and its sorta-sequelThe sprawling, chaotic roller coaster that is Nightfall — highs, lows, and the parts that secretly still ruleTheir mutual love for No Man’s Land, and why it still hits when you revisit it todayCollecting the trades in high school, discovering the weirder corners, and figuring out which eras genuinely hold up!It’s full-on Bat-nostalgia, story-arc autopsies, sibling-energy comic talk, and the exact kind of deep-cut fandom that only the Penny People can conjure!The Batman conversation they’ve been promising for years? It finally happened — and it’s a monster!

This week on The Penny Men, we accidentally record 20 minutes of Muppet calendars, Beatles bootlegs, and obscure Marvel villains before remembering we were supposed to talk about Flash Gordon. So naturally, we kept all of it!Cold Open Highlights (aka: Things No One Asked For But You Got Anyway):The Muppets calendar that reprogrammed Greg’s brain permanentlyBeatles parodies including the immortal hit “She Loves Shoes”Tom naming five different goblins before remembering The Beetle is named Abner JenkinsA brief legal discussion about asbestosColonel Mustard doing crimes with a lead pipe on the “motorway”The Clue movie body count (incorrectly)!Then We Actually Talk About Flash Gordon (Sort Of):The three classic movie serials and why only one of them kinda countsBuster Crabbe: buff, shiny, professional cliffhanger survivorThe dragon puppet that is absolutely not a puppetThe Vulture MenWhy Dale suddenly changes actresses and no one on screen caresFlash Gordon serial cliffhangers vs. the infamous Misery “cockadoody car” ruleShout-outs to Zorro’s Fighting Legion, Daredevils of the Red Circle, and probably 12 other serials only Tom knows existed!Bonus Tangents (Required by Law):Tarzan movies and Burroughs rage-quittingFilmation’s rotoscoped spaceshipsThe underground sci-fi singing cowboy kingdom of The Phantom EmpireSheena, Queen of the Jungle, because why not“Tubi or not Tubi,” the joke that required no setup and got delivered anyway!Come for Flash Gordon…Stay for Abner Jenkins, the calendar Beatles, and Tom’s ongoing war with 1930s production budgets!

This week on The Penny Men, Tom, Greg, and Ben broadcast live from the newly-renamed Artist Formerly Known as Ben’s Apartment (formerly Skywalker Ranch II: Special Edition, formerly Ben’s Apartment)! The boys nod politely, kiss a baby, and immediately fall apart!What follows is a heroic attempt to explain Flash Gordon that derails into:A crash course in newspaper comicsA heated debate about whether newspapers ever truly existedA tour of every museum in OhioA Jack Cole appreciation hourThe Teapot Dome Scandal???The Pennsylvania Avenue song making an encore nobody asked for!Meanwhile, Tom tries to outline the entire 1930s Flash Gordon plot:Rogue planet Mongo shows up to wreck EarthZarkov pulls a gun on strangers, as scientists doFlash (polo player, not space guy, not yet) gets kidnapped into spaceMing is here. He is merciless.Every society on Mongo hates each other AND Ming, which is honestly impressive!By the end, you’ll learn:Why Flash Gordon is basically Hercule Satan in spaceWhy every planet is somehow divided into Bird People, Tree People, and Fish PeopleWhy Star Wars quietly owes Flash Gordon about 40% of its personalityWhy comic strip fans in the 1930s were built different!Come for the history! Stay for the derailments! Leave knowing way too much about the MSU comic archives!

Grab your cereal, kids, because we’re taking a nostalgia-powered plunge into the chaotic, colorful world of Saturday morning cartoons! In this episode, Ben, Tom, and Gregory dissect, debate, and reminisce about the shows that defined a generation—both the hits and the weird, slightly forgotten ones!Here's what’s on the docket!The Big Three: Doug, Recess, Pepper Ann—who really deserved the crown?Doug moves to Bluffington, meets Patty Mayonnaise, Skeeter, Roger, and the Dinks!Recess taught life lessons disguised as playground antics!Pepper Ann pushed the boundaries with dry humor, awkward crushes, and a memorable time capsule finale!Character deep dives:Mr. Dink, Quail Man, Bebe Bluff, and Porkchop the dog!Pepper Ann’s tomboy sister Moose and her badass mom!Mark Hamill guest-starring as himself. Alex Trebek running a recurring joke!Cartoon Network Classics:Dexter’s LabJohnny BravoPowerpuff GirlsCow & ChickenSheep in the Big CityTime SquadWhatever Happened to Robot Jones?I Am WeaselGrim & EvilEd, Ed, and EddyMike, Lu, and OgCourage the Cowardly DogCodename: Kids Next DoorAnd more!Neo-era gems: ChowderFlapjackClone HighMegas XLRSquirrel Boy!Disney Afternoon & Beyond:Buzz Lightyear of Star Command (with Patrick Warburton)!Mighty Ducks, Tarzan, Teamo Supremo, L.T. Grey, and other nostalgic hits!Timon & Pumbaa, Hercules, and the intricate history of Mickey Mouse Works → House of Mouse!Space and Beyond:Lloyd in Space: Recess… but intergalactic!Galaxy High School: 80s space-school hilarity with Amy Brighttower & Doyle Cleverlobe!Magic, live-action, and teen drama:Sabrina the Animated Series (Emily Hart voicing a young Sabrina)!Even Stevens, Lizzie McGuire, Braceface, and Ginger confusion galore!Pop culture tangents:References to Song of the South, Lion King SNES game rage, ProZD movie recaps, and more!From childhood memories to deep dives into character dynamics, voice actors, and network programming strategies, this episode is a loving (and occasionally hilarious) tribute to Saturday mornings of the ’90s and early ’00s! Expect wild tangents, obscure trivia, and the occasional debate about which show was really the best!

Welcome to the Ultimate Donkey Kong Fan Cast… sorta! This week, we’ve traded barrels for backpacks and explored the magical, chaotic, totally legitimate world of Disney’s One Saturday Morning!Join Ben, Greg, and Tom as they take you on a nostalgia-fueled ride through:How much stuff can an elephant crush? (Spoiler: a lot!)Mrs. Munger’s Class – the original animated yearbook chaos!Centerville – same photos, more backgrounds, catchphrases on repeat!Manny the Uncanny & Mr. Lighter-than-Air – live-action educational adventures!Tube Dwellers → Monkey Boys – slapstick in a television, literally!Timon & Pumbaa explain science (sort of!)Robin Williams as Genie teaching history – “Great minds think to themselves!”Main shows: DougRecessPepper AnnSaturday mornings were a five-hour workout for your eyeballs, where kids in black-and-white photos said unfunny things that were somehow hilarious!Warning: Listening may cause sudden urges to yell “Grace!” or animate your own yearbook!

It’s the 100th episode spectacular! Ben, Gregory, Tom, and West Coast cousin Michael gather at last — the four heads of the Penny Men Mount Rushmore — for a centennial celebration of nonsense, nostalgia, and nerdom! The guys attempt to recall anything they’ve ever said across 99 episodes, but mostly end up reading lists, assigning points that don’t matter, and starting a 100-question quiz they’ll never finish!Topics include: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and the invention of “guy with two personalities” literature!Arabian Nights, murder wives, and genies!Outlaws of the Marsh, Chinese super-monks, and proto-anime Vegetas!Batman: Nightfall, Punisher crossovers, and the golden era of too-many Batmen!Secret Identity by Alex Segura, TMNT’s 150-issue odyssey, and literary homework piles!The eternal question: Is Bane Thomas Wayne’s son?It’s chaos, it’s scholarship, it’s friendship — it’s 100 episodes of penny-sized philosophy culminating in one enormous mess of celebration!Tag it under: #TMNT #Batman #Comics #Literature #PodcastMilestone #ThePennyMen #Episode100

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve done it 98 times—and we’re doing it one more time! The Penny People are back in the galaxy far, far away for The Clone Wars, the animated fever dream where every Jedi gets a haircut and every clone gets feelings! Ben, Gregory, and Tom take the long way ‘round hyperspace, stopping to ponder the big question: what is Star Wars, anyway?Along the way, we meet: Compassionate clonesCelebrity JediAnd the tragic tale of General Stanky—hero of the 14th Quadrant!There’s:Tax disputesBaby HuttsAnd a crash course on the West End Games RPG!The boys debate:Why Clone Wars feels like M*A*S*H*How Anakin got a Padawan before he got a clueAnd whether Jar Jar deserves redemption (Spoiler: he does not)!Featuring:Dissertations on the politics of midi-chloriansTom’s theory that clone troopers are just unionized stormtroopersGreg’s impression of every droid ever builtAnd a surprise tangent on samurai films, AI generals, and space bureaucracy!It’s lightsabers, philosophy, and bad impressions—your classic Penny Men mix!This is Episode 99: The Clone Wars – The Rise of General Stanky!

The Penny Men are still trapped in Ben's apartment — or possibly Skywalker Ranch 2: Special Edition — and discover George Lucas has been hiding a Wookie jar, a Red Tails podcast, and several unproduced sequels to Strange Magic! Meanwhile, Ben, Tom, and Gregory try to remember the entire Star Wars Expanded Universe from memory, covering:Cindel Tawani’s journalism careerLuke’s secret ooze girlfriendAnd Cade Skywalker’s death stick problem!Along the way, the boys accidentally pitch: A live-action Jetsons movieA Street Fighter reboot starring Jack BlackAnd the new Penny Men format: “Draw From the Phantom Jar”!Featuring guest appearances by George Lucas, Admiral Sushi Bar, and Yuck Yuck Binks!

The Penny Men continue their 24-hour Star Wars binge and quickly lose track of time, space, and pizza delivery etiquette! George Lucas lurks in the cornerWatto and Jar Jar fight for stage timeSomehow a Hungry Howie’s girl sneaks into The Skywalker RanchGreg and Tom debate the video game canon (Knights of the Old Republic, Battlefront, Rogue Squadron)Ben orders a pizza mid-recordingAnd everyone wrestles with the Legacy of the Force novels, Fate of the Jedi, and why every Skywalker has to lose an arm!Along the way: Chuck E. Cheese rebrands itself as Pasqually’sMace "I Don’t Do Windows" is bornAnd Earth, Wind & Fire nearly become canon!It’s the Star Wars Expanded Universe like you’ve never heard it before — live from the bar that never closes, with blue milk on tap and George Lucas picking toppings off your slice!

The Penny Men return from their longest break yet and find the party at The Skywalker Ranch 2 hasn’t slowed down! Ben, Gregory, and Tom kick things off with a debate over Clueless and the great teen rom-com continuum before sliding back into their booth at the galaxy’s most chaotic cantina! Between dodging E.T.’s stares and Alf’s interruptions, they wrestle with the big question: what’s so great about Star Wars? This week, it’s the Legacy of the Force era:Jason Solo’s visionsBen Skywalker’s trainingBug warsPolitical schismsAnd the shocking possibility that Mara Jade might’ve had a hand in Padmé’s fate!Plus, appearances from George Lucas, Jar Jar's stand-up set, and a cat named KitKat who may or may not be Force-sensitive!

The Penny Men are back, this time broadcasting live from an alien dive bar where the comedy lineup is as unpredictable as the Star Wars Expanded Universe itself! Jar Jar Binks takes the stage as “Yuck Yuck Binks” with a new set of groaners, George Lucas lurks in the corner heckling his own continuity, and Seinfeld barely makes it past the wings! But in between spilled drinks and bad puns, the guys tackle:The New Jedi Order booksThe Yuuzhan Vong invasionChewbacca’s moon-crash deathHan’s midlife crisisMara Jade’s poisoningAnd Jason, Jaina, and Anakin Solo being pulled in three very different directions!It’s bird-Jedi philosophies, bio-organic war machines, Luke Skywalker fumbling through Jedi Council leadership, and the fall of Coruscant—all told with the energy of a roast battle gone off the rails!Grab your desserts (Chew-baklava, anyone?) and settle in for the chaos!

Welcome back to The Penny Men, live (sort of) from what used to be Ben’s apartment and is now apparently an alien supper club, nightclub, and George Lucas vanity project!There’s a line out the door, Jar Jar Binks is headlining under his new stage name Yuck Yuck Binks, and Dexter Jettster is threatening to spit in our drinks! In between ordering orange whips and dodging chandeliers themed after Alderaan, your three hosts try their best to recap the entire Star Wars saga in chronological order!Featuring: The ancient Republic and Darth Bane’s Rule of TwoQui-Gon Jinn sassAnakin’s immaculate conception conspiracyThe Clone Wars Red Dwarf fan recommendationsAnd every era of the galaxy far, far away! Along the way we:Complain about too many Jedi surviving Order 66Debate who belongs on the Mount Rushmore of Star WarsRevive Bubsy (again)And discover the hidden comedy album of Jar Jar Binks!It’s history, it’s chaos, it’s a nightclub floor show!What’s so great about Star Wars? George might say “money,” but we’re here to figure out the rest!

It’s the Revenge of the Sith episode of The Penny Men, and somehow it’s also amateur night at the George Lucas Comedy Club! We came here to do a clean, straightforward lightning-round recap of Episode III, but between Yakko Warner singing Gilbert & Sullivan, surprise Animaniacs geography lessons, and Jar Jar Binks insisting on his own Gungan stand-up routine, we’re barely making it through the plot!Still, in between the bad puns and Ewok waiters pitching Dulok spinoffs, we actually do cover the big stuff: Anakin gets promoted to “spy on everybody” dutyObi-Wan gets stuck with lizard-riding and robot-coughingYoda takes a detour to the Wookiee planetMace Windu takes a flying lesson courtesy of Palpatine’s force lightningThe Jedi Council is suspiciousPadmé is worriedAnd Anakin is somehow convinced that the best way to save his wife is to join the guy who looks like melted candle wax!It’s our Revenge of the Sith breakdown as only The Penny Men could do it: part recap, part roast, part variety show hosted by George himself!If we survive this night at the Lucas Lounge, maybe we’ll actually finish Star Wars!

The Penny Men return for their 15th episode—this time with a live audience, three Orange Whips on the table, and a floor show courtesy of none other than Jar Jar Binks himself!George Lucas has turned Ben’s apartment into some kind of intergalactic supper club, complete with menus, Metro D security at the door, and a rotating cast of aliens, droids, and forgotten Expanded Universe icons drifting through the crowd! While Jabba tries to squeeze into a booth and Droopy McCool pretends he’s booked, our hosts press on with their ambitious mission: breaking down Revenge of the Sith, the sixth Star Wars film (eighth if you’re really counting), and the long-awaited turn of Anakin Skywalker!Along the way, they talk Clone Wars cartoonsDark Horse comicsQuinlan Vos, Aayla Secur And the rise of General Grievous!They relive Elevator shaft mishapsCount Dooku’s last standAnd R2-D2’s questionable fire-based comedy routine!And all the while, Jar Jar keeps barging back in with his own set of Gungan one-liners, trying to turn the podcast into a late-night show! Will our hosts make it through the first ten minutes of the movie before the floor show takes over completely? Or will George Lucas buy another apartment just to keep the party going?It’s chaos, it’s comedy, and it’s Star Wars history—served with extra Jawa-made java burgers!

There are a lot of Star Wars movies, folks, and we’re doing them all! This is hour two of our deep-dive into Attack of the Clones, the alleged favorite of George Lucas himself (is that true? we may never know)! Your hosts — Wicket W. Warwick, Figurine Dan, and Droopy McCool — are joined, as always, by unexpected guests who somehow keep breaking into the studio! Lock the door, guys!In this installment, the Penny Men (or Penny Guys, or the Larry Fine Fan Club, depending on the moment) tackle everything from Anakin’s Tusken Raider massacre to Obi-Wan’s asteroid belt chase, from the Coliseum cat-fight to Yoda’s surprisingly spry lightsaber duel!Along the way, they: Debate Padmé’s questionable dating choicesReimagine droid factory slapstick with “Yakety Sax” Mourn the fate of poor JangoAnd chart the rise of everyone’s favorite secret Sith puppetmaster: Jar Jar Binks!Also on the docket: Kenan & Kel cameos that never wereMace Windu almost dropping the F-bombThe logic of C-3PO’s detachable headTrilogies within trilogiesAnd the eternal truth that all Star Wars stories eventually become toy commercials!It’s chaos, it’s canon, and it’s everything George never wanted you to hear — live from the 64-bit avant-garde cast!

🎙️ The Penny Men are back in a galaxy far, far away, but this time it’s the prequels — brighter, clunkier, and full of baffling Jedi logic! Gregory, Tom, and Ben dive into The Phantom Menace, where podracing rules, Sith reveal themselves with double-bladed sabers, and young Anakin is either the Chosen One or just a kid with a Slipknot-style slave bomb in his neck! Then it’s on to Attack of the Clones, featuring awkward romance, Obi-Wan playing hardboiled space detective, and an entire clone army signed off without a single Jedi reading the fine print! And of course, George Lucas himself drops by the studio to defend battle droids, sleep on the couch, and remind everyone that Jar Jar was essential to his “vision!”

The Penny Men return to Tatooine, where things are as sandy, strange, and slave-collared as ever! Qui-Gon Jinn is out here negotiating with Watto like he’s on Pawn Stars, waving Republic credits around while the Toydarian tells him to take a hike! Padmé, meanwhile, is doing her best “shocked princess” impression straight out of The Hidden Fortress as Shmi lays out how slavery works on this backwater desert planet!We get the grand tour of Anakin’s life: His pod racerHis gang of child friends (who might or might not include a proto-Greedo)And of course the legendary introduction of “Naked C-3PO,” the most merchandise-ready moment in cinematic history!You’ve never truly lived until you’ve seen Anthony Daniels without his golden shell!Then it’s time for the main event: the podrace! Part Ben-Hur, part Nintendo 64 loading screen, part live-action Wacky Races with Sebulba throwing banana peels and fireballs at a ten-year-old! Greg Proops is there as a two-headed announcer, Jabba the Hutt is briefly conscious long enough to wave at the crowd, and George Lucas is off-screen mumbling, “This will make the kids scream!”Between laps, Qui-Gon is running blood tests and muttering about midichlorians, casually dropping the bomb that Anakin’s got a higher power level than anyone—including Yoda! Is it Dragon Ball Z? Is it dog police? Is it the immaculate conception subplot nobody asked for? All of the above!Meanwhile, on Coruscant, the Galactic Senate is revealed to be the least cinematic thing possible: Thousands of floating beanbag chairsToo many fish-faced ambassadorsAnd Palpatine’s first big move toward becoming Emperor!Jar Jar accidentally sets himself on the road to political office, and the word “democracy” has never sounded shakier!But we’re not done—because the movie’s not done: Padmé reveals she was the Queen all alongThe Gungans get drafted into a war they didn’t wantAnd somewhere in the shadows Darth Maul is revving his motorcycle lightsaber, ready to crash the whole party!It’s a podrace, it’s a senate hearing, it’s a prophecy, it’s a red velvet cake of bad decisions: this is The Phantom Menace, Penny Men style!

The Penny Men return, but they’re not alone! George Lucas has crashed the recording yet again, dragging Jabba, Seinfeld, and half of the extended muppet-verse into Ben’s apartment!They swear this time it’s going to be an “official” episode, but between Ewoks in the guest room, Christopher Walken wandering the halls, and Jar Jar trying to grab the mic, it’s hard to tell where the party ends and the podcast begins!Somehow, though, Tom and Greg actually dive into The Phantom Menace! They break down:Trade disputesThe Gungan life-debt clauseBoss Nass’ bongoAnd Weird Al’s clairvoyant songwriting!George offers “notes” from the kitchen while frosting a nine-layer cake, Jar Jar insists he’s the best part of the movie, and Chris for sure has some strong feelings about toasters!Topics covered include:Did anyone really want the Special Editions, or was it just the toy companies?The hype machine of 1999: Pepsi cans, Taco Bell, and endless waiting in line!When exactly George decided Star Wars needed prequels!Which camp counselor from Camp Candy could actually talk to animals!Why there are always bigger fish!It’s the prequel trilogy kickoff you never asked for but definitely deserve!Naboo is under attack, the Penny Men are under siege, and the only thing more confusing than trade negotiations is why George keeps bringing up Patch Adams!

This week on The Penny Men, Ben, Tom, and Gregory pry open the carbonite-sealed vault of Star Wars Legends—because somebody had to suffer so you don’t have to! We start by debating the lost art of fight pacing, from kung fu cinema’s lightning kicks to wrestling’s slow-burn feuds, and how those ideas crash-land into the galaxy far, far away! Then we hit hyperspace into the weirdest corners of the Expanded Universe, where the rules of canon are made up and the names are blue!Topics:Grand Admiral Thrawn makes his big brain debutMara Jade shows up to make everyone nervousHan Solo accidentally wins an entire planet in a card gameLuke falls in love with a computer (sure)Emperor Palpatine refuses to stay dead—coming back not once, not twice, but so many times you start rooting for the guy!We talk about:The Sun Crusher (a ship that’s somehow stronger than the Death Star)The Force witches of DathomirAnd the questionable fashion choices of 1990s sci-fi art!Expect tangents about Remington SteeleZorroJohn BravoThe Courtship of Luke’s Sister (oops)And why every clone has to spell their name with an extra “u!”It’s lore overload, but we’re doing it for you! Buckle up as the Penny Men wrestle with the wildest Expanded Universe stories ever printed—because once you’ve stared into the abyss of Legends, the abyss starts quoting Timothy Zahn back at you!

Welcome one, welcome all, to What’s So Great About Star Wars?, the 64-bit avant-garde cast starring your Penny Men hosts in full obscure-character cosplay: Bib Fortuna, Salacious Crumb, and… Koopa? Sure, why not!The Penny Men—past, present, future; now and forever—are here for Episode 86, and yes, that number is totally on purpose (don’t fact-check us)! Why? Because this week, we’re diving into the most unexpected corners of the galaxy: Ewoks: The Battle for Endor!If you thought Caravan of Courage was wild, buckle up!We’ve got it all:Orphaned kids and talking teddy bearsSpace marauders who barely understand their own technologyA shapeshifting witch with raven powers (and questionable motives)Wilford Brimley as a grumpy old hermit who bakes muffins and owns a secret spaceshipStop-motion creatures, awkward musical interludes, and a song about stars that might haunt your dreamsAn actual battle (sort of) for Endor, complete with traps, moats, and marauders falling on their buttsPlus, we ask the hard questions:Why kill off Mace five minutes in? Did George Lucas really write this? How fast can Teek run? And how does this all fit in with Star Wars canon—or does it?Grab your slingshot, prep your hang glider, and join us as we decide once and for all: Is Ewoks II better than Caravan of Courage, or just a fever dream sponsored by oatmeal?

“Ewoks, Droids, and the Forgotten Star Wars Cartoons”Before Baby Yoda, before Clone Wars, there was… a galaxy far, far away that woke up early on Saturday mornings! That’s right—we’re talking Ewoks and Droids, the animated sidequests of Star Wars that aired in the mid-’80s and somehow lived in the deep recesses of your VHS tapes!This week, The Penny Men grab a bowl of sugary cereal, kick back on the carpet, and dive into:The Nelvana Era: Why the animation looks so Canadian and what that says about George Lucas’s choicesTheme Song Fever: From Ewok singalongs to Droids’ weird synth intro that sounds like your cousin’s garage band in 1985Economics of Endor: How the Ewoks somehow mastered barter systems and guerrilla warfareThe Droid Adventures: C-3PO and R2-D2 wandering into pulp sci-fi trouble with villains like Kaibo Ren (yes, before Kylo stole his thunder)Deep Cuts & Fun Facts:Alison Court (yes, the voice of Jubilee from X-Men: The Animated Series) pops up as MilaniWhy Boba Fett keeps showing up like he’s checking in on the wrong showHow this was all technically canon… until it wasn’tThe Big Question: Were these cartoons charming Star Wars world-building or a fever dream Lucas had during a sugar crash?Plus: Weird triviaEmbarrassing theme song singalongsAnd us trying to figure out if this was better than the Holiday Special (spoiler: yes, but only slightly)!Strap in for a nostalgia trip through a corner of the galaxy most fans pretend doesn’t exist—but we went there, and we brought receipts!

The Penny Men are back—and this time, we’ve crash-landed on Endor (and maybe in a Kmart toy aisle circa 1985)! Join us as we dive headfirst into the Ewok era, that magical post-Return of the Jedi time when Lucasfilm said, “No lightsabers? No problem!” and gave us a pair of made-for-TV epics, an Ewok cartoon, and a reason to learn Ewokese without subtitles!This episode is a nostalgic hyperspace jump through the parts of Star Wars you probably forgot, featuring:Caravan of Courage and Battle for Endor – Why these TV movies existed, what they got right (Gorax design, practical FX), and how Burl Ives somehow ended up narrating both Ewoks and Frosty the Snowman!The Great Canon Debate – Movies, holiday specials, Ewok cartoons, Marvel comics, coloring books, trading cards, and novels! What counts? What doesn’t? Does Steve Sansweet control the entire galaxy of lore from his Skywalker Ranch vault?The Origin of “Mary Sue” – A quick detour to Star Trek fanzines, the most polite insult ever invented, and how it became the internet’s favorite hot-button topic!The Toys That Made Us (and Ruined Our Budgets) – From Kmart clearance bins to Toys R Us holy grails, we share the action figures that started wars in our households! (Hint: no one wanted Gonk Droid, but someone always got stuck with him!)Unmade Sequels and Spaceballs Dreams – Why we never got Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money and how that fake poster still haunts our collective nerd brains!Math That Should Never Be Done in Public – Ewok years vs. dog years vs. Wookiee years! What even is time on Endor?Ewokese: A Linguistic Challenge – Why these movies said “subtitles are for cowards” and whether anyone on Earth can actually speak fluent Yub Nub!Also featuring:Warwick Davis appreciation hour (seriously, the man is a legend)!Gorax nightmare fuel that makes Rancors look like puppies!The Caravan of Courage debate: essential viewing or just a bold Lucasfilm tax write-off?It’s equal parts nostalgia trip, canon chaos, and absurd trivia showdown—all wrapped in a cozy Ewok blanket! So press play, grab your favorite vintage action figure, and join us as we celebrate a time when the galaxy far, far away got very, very weird… and wonderful!Yub Nub forever!

Revenge? Return? The Jedi Finale and the Bear That Eats You!The Penny Men have reached the end of the original trilogy, and boy, does this one have everything:Luke Skywalker pulling the old “But what if I can redeem him?” moveObi-Wan serving half-truths and Force ghosts in equal measureTeddy bears winning a war with sticks, logs, and sheer audacityVader’s big redemption arc (and his big egg head reveal)John Williams flexing harder than a Wookiee on Life Day!We cover the good, the goofy, and the galaxy-sized stakes:Why the title changed from Revenge of the Jedi to Return of the JediHow many Bothans really died for this plotEwok traps vs. Imperial tech (and who wins in a fair fight)Luke vs. Vader: the ultimate dad issues showdownThe Emperor’s new lightning trickAnd that ending: fires, fireworks, and Force ghosts!All that plus tangents about: WillowWeird X-Men triviaTarzan-y ChewbaccaAnd a very strong case for Ewok cannibalism! (Write in: Is it cannibalism if they eat stormtroopers?)Grab your medals, bang on some stormtrooper helmets, and join us for the galaxy’s most yub-nub-tastic party!

Welcome back to the galaxy that’s not so far, far away—because it’s happening right now on The Penny Men Podcast! This week, Greg, Ben, and Tom wrap up the Original Trilogy with Return of the Jedi (or should we say Revenge?)! We dive into everything: Jabba’s endless party of pig guardsBlue elephant bandsChains strong enough to strangle a slugLuke’s suspiciously dark new tricksAnd whether Lando is actually doing anything besides accessorizing!Expect tangents as always:What’s the deal with Waldo from the MuppetVision 3D show?Who is Jodo Kast and why is he stealing Boba Fett’s clout?Why were 1980s Marvel comics packed with psychic rabbits, orange fish boys, and porcupine Jedi?And which Looney Tunes crossover would you greenlight first—Skate Jam, Spy Jam, or Punk Jam?Plus, a heartfelt farewell to the greatest puppet death scene of all time! Bring your grappling hook, your Max Rebo playlist, and maybe a rankor snack—because we’re going out to Jabba’s barge in style!

Somehow, The Penny Men returned… to talk about the one Star War that changed everything: The Empire Strikes Back!This week, we go deep—like “Wampa cave-deep”—into the greatest sequel of all time and all the weirdness orbiting it!We’re talking:The Twist Heard ‘Round the Galaxy – How Vader broke Luke’s heart, why the line on set was way different, and which actors were actually told the truth!Empire’s Cliffhanger Chaos – Did George Lucas invent the post-credits sting without even knowing it?Marvel’s Star Wars Comics Gone Wild – Pink-haired Leia rivals! Extra Han Solo knockoffs! Darth Vader’s secret glove backstory!The Shadows of the Empire Hype Machine – A video game, a novel, a toy line… but no movie? (Spoiler: we all owned the Dash Rendar action figure!)Toy Marketing that Brainwashed Us – Kenner’s plastic empire, Lando’s questionable cape fashion, and why your parents still resent the words “Power of the Force!”Expanded Universe Fever Dreams – Han Solo’s smuggling prequels, Lando’s casino adventures, and a planet-sized dose of 80s pulp!Why Return of the Jedi Might Secretly Be the Best – Ewoks vs. Murder Bears, and how Luke almost joined the Dark Side!Bonus Round: RoboCop 3’s Robot Ninjas – We explain why this was both amazing and terrible, and why a jetpack doesn’t always save a franchise!All that, plus: OSHA violations in Cloud CityThe ethics of carbon-freezing your friendsAnd how many dismembered limbs is too many for a family saga!

The Penny Men dive headfirst into the galaxy far, far away—again! This time, Greg, Tom, and Ben chart the weird, wild gap between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back! Ever wonder what happened between blowing up the Death Star and Luke freezing his face off on Hoth? Marvel comics, green space rabbits, bizarre British stories (some by Alan Moore?!), and a Life Day celebration you’ll never forget—or forgive!We cover:The Star Wars Holiday Special in all its two-hour glory (Bea Arthur! Boba Fett! Erotic grandpa VR?!)The Christmas album with songs like What Do You Get a Wookiee for Christmas When He Already Owns a Comb?And Splinter of the Mind’s Eye—the book that almost became the sequel!Then it’s on to Empire Strikes Back: Probe droidsWampasForce pullsTow cablesYoda’s grammar lessonsAsteroid wormsAnd the greatest twist in movie history (even if you already know it)!Plus, Greg explains why skeleton warriors made him quit cartoons, Tom defends Bea Arthur’s place in the Star Wars canon, and Greg does his best impression of the song “R2-D2 We Wish You a Merry Christmas!” Spoiler: it’s wonderful!

The Penny Men blast off for a Star Wars: A New Hope breakdown… and promptly crash into a pile of weird trivia, bad action figures, and an uncomfortable amount of Jar Jar content!Highlights include:Why Biggs Darklighter is the best character who never matteredThe tragedy of Porkins (and his cursed name)Chewbacca’s medal snub: speciesism or simple oversight?Deleted scenes you didn’t know existed (Luke had friends??)Special Editions: who asked for more dewbacks?That horrifying Jar Jar Binks candy with the sticky tongueLEGO Star Wars specials, Ewok cartoons, and a brief flirtation with SpaceballsThe best and worst Star Wars deaths (hint: RIP Greedo’s dignity)!Come for the commentary, stay for the chaos! Punch it, Chewie!🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts!

Welcome back to The Penny Men, the podcast that never actually starts, it just keeps testing! This week we promise we’re talking about Star Wars… but first we have to talk about:French NikesSegwaysGeorge W. Bush falling off a SegwayJ.R.R. Tolkien’s middle initialsJennifer Coolidge RowlingThe Notorious B.F.G.A Spielberg fever dreamBen’s cat committing acts of warGem and the Holograms action figuresFlea marketsAnd the philosophical definition of “whiny!” Somewhere in there, we actually watch Star Wars: A New Hope in release order and try to explain the plot from memory, which means you’ll hear hot takes like:R2-D2 is both the smartest and dumbest robot ever made!Tusken Raiders: masks or faces? (We don’t know either!)Obi-Wan’s greatest Jedi skill is lying from a certain point of view!Why George Lucas is basically Quentin Tarantino if he only stole from things your grandparents saw at the movies!And why Star Wars toys are the only true way to measure childhood happiness!It’s a thousand-hour conversation with three old friends (currently at hour 78), but don’t worry—we’ll make it to episode 1,000, even if we have to whiz-pop-whiz-bang our way there!

You Can’t Have These Comics – From Paul Blart to Pep ComicsPaul Blart Mall Cop! Ralph Snart! Henry Winkler! Escalators vs. Elevators! Toy penguins climbing fake mountains! The Fonz jumps sharks, wrestles in The One and Only, and somehow we end up at You Can’t Have These Comics! Independent blob demons (Yets!)X-Men “Negative One” month (Thunderbird, Warpath, Rachel Summers, Bolivar Trask’s mutant son)Transformers’ worst bot ever — Ballpoint the evil pen — and why every villain lineup needs a Sharkticon!Plus: Brak CDs“The Hootily Hoo” Milo & Otis underwear swapsGrape Ape standardsLobster butter autographsArchie’s endless spinoff multiverse (Pureheart, Hot Dog, Jughead’s Time Police, Archie vs. Predator)Pep Comics jungle cosplayHarvey Comics roll callMonkees style hijinksSonic/Sabrina crossovers Riverdale cave-peopleAnd Atari Force mini-comics!It’s a full-stack platter of mall cops, mutant cops, talking animals, sentient office supplies, and comics you definitely can’t have!

The Penny Men are back with another title-only movie pitch, and this week it’s the mysteriously ominous “The Last Return!” Nobody knows what it means, but that’s never stopped us before!In this episode you’ll get:At least three completely different movies with the same name!One tragic revenge saga, one unhinged noir fever dream, and one… well, let’s just say Tom brought something weird to the table!A heartfelt goodbye to Blockbuster (or possibly a lawsuit waiting to happen)!Too many theories about VHS tapes for a 2025 podcast!The phrase “time-traveling librarian” used in a sentence like it’s normal!A reminder that we really should not be allowed near Hollywood!So is The Last Return a gritty reboot, a cosmic finale, or just what happens when you forget to rewind your rental? Tune in to find out!

The Penny Men are back, and this time they’re armed with nothing but a title: The Last Return! That’s it! No notes, no outlines, no budget — just three guys and a microphone trying to spin cinematic gold out of a vague, Blockbuster-sounding phrase!Gregory pitches a Mad Max–by-way-of-the-library epic, where one man must carry the most overdue book in history across a wasteland of burnt trees, weird McDonaldland warlords, and Christopher Lloyd’s gang of Foot Clan rejects!Will the library accept the last return? Or will Judge Doom himself burn the Dewey Decimal System to the ground?Then Ben takes it to space — literally! His version is an intergalactic city-station where the last contact with Earth happened a century ago, known only as “the last return!” Pirates, refugees, and descendants of every Earth nation live in a drifting New York–sized station, trying to survive without governments, supplies, or alien attacks (that never showed up in the first place)!Tom… may or may not have a pitch! But he’s got a notepad, a few sarcastic asides, and an encyclopedic knowledge of movies the other two keep accidentally plagiarizing!Along the way:Is this secretly a PageMaster sequel?Why does every apocalypse come with French fry armor?Can we cast every Christopher? (Lloyd, Walken, Pine, Evans, Pratt, Hemsworth, Columbus?)And would Wishbone still be able to read after the end of civilization?It’s the ultimate crossover of post-apocalyptic trash heaps and space-station politics! Grab your overdue fines and strap in — it’s The Last Return!

Saturday mornings were a lawless frontier! If it existed, it had a cartoon! Sneakers, cereal, California raisins — heck, even Chuck Norris had his own animated kids’ show, and the man barely needed dialogue in real life! This week, the Penny Men dig into that strange golden age and rediscover the forgotten relic known as Laser Tag Academy (1986), a series so committed to selling you a toy gun that it casually rewrote all of human history!Naturally, this leads the boys down a rabbit hole of “was that real or just a dream I had at 3 a.m. after too much chocolate milk?” Did MC Hammer really fight crime with magic shoes (Hammerman, yes)? Did Damon Wayans really make a cartoon about himself (Waynehead, yes)? Did Rubik the Amazing Cube actually exist (tragically, yes)? And why didn’t Hammer Pants get their own spin-off series where the pants themselves solved mysteries?From there, it’s only a short leap to building out a new contender in the Hookshot & Brickman universe: Laser Tag Guy!Is he:A mall cop dropout who insists the plastic blasters are “set to kill”?A time-traveling vigilante who blacks out every time the strobe lights kick in?A desperate birthday party entertainer who thinks Chuck E. Cheese is a worthy nemesis?Or all of the above, but with an expired Pizza Hut coupon as his calling card?By the end, one thing is clear: the line between real Saturday morning nostalgia and collective hallucination is extremely thin, and the Penny Men are determined to cross it, laser vests glowing in the dark!

The Penny Men take a swing at world-building with the launch of their own comic universe: Hookshot & Brickman!What starts as two goofball heroes quickly spirals into a full-blown rogues’ gallery, supporting cast, love interests, and crossover event potential! Along the way, Gregory, Ben, and Tom debate:The logistics of a grappling hook gimmickWhether a guy made of bricks is intimidating or just masonry cosplayAnd how many catchphrases one superhero is legally allowed to have!From tragic backstories to Saturday-morning-cartoon vibes, the gang designs a superhero line that would either dominate the 90s toy aisle or get cancelled after two issues!

This week on The Penny Men, we dive headfirst into the wild spectrum of superhero storytelling—starting with the corniest of corners: a Super Friends-style team-up! We’re talking:One-note heroesInternational diversity And powers that make zero sense but look great in a coloring book!Then, we slam the tone dial all the way down to gritty reboot territory, where the same characters are reimagined as brooding vigilantes with deep scars, moral compromises, and citywide conspiracy boards!It’s spandex vs. leather, catchphrases vs. trauma arcs, and the eternal question: which version do we secretly want to watch more?

Hookshot’s rolling through town on skates with a grappling hook and brass knuckles, while Yo-Yo the Moon Monkey bounces in with his moon boots and trusty yo-yo! The Shabby Cabbie pulls up as a part-time ally, and the chalkboard-screeching Disciplinarian keeps everyone in line!But looming over them all is Hookshot’s Superman-type brother, flawless in every way except for a strange weakness to imitation leather! And in the shadows, The Butler quietly runs crime through fake rehabilitation charities, serving as a meek servant by day and a mastermind by night!It’s a lineup of oddball heroes, bitter rivalries, and one very sinister butler!

The Penny Men boot up their Commodore 64-bit Draft Lineup for episode seventy — which, naturally, means derailing into Sean shout-outs, ocean water hygiene debates, SpongeBob references, and whether Ween belongs in Crazy Taxi! Gregory pitches Batman water-skiing, Ben accidentally rebrands the Justice League, and Tom tries to list Pixar movies but keeps getting sidetracked by Dick Tracy villains (Big Boy, Mumbles, Pruneface, Flattop, and yes, Littleface)! Somehow, The Princess Bride makes it in:Abridged booksMissing chaptersThe true identity of the Dread Pirate RobertsAnd why this fairy-tale parody is Shrek’s more literate cousin! Meanwhile, the tangents are relentless: The Roger Corman Fantastic FourSmash Mouth vs. the Butthole SurfersKingdom Hearts theme lyricsBands with intentionally misspelled animal names (Lynyrd Skynyrd, Chikn Biskit, Def Leppard)And the still-unexplained “Girlver Slurfer”!All that, plus:The official hierarchy of swords (rapier, cutlass, “that one from Final Fantasy”)Worst superpowers to get from a vending machineHow to fight a Rodent of Unusual Size with only a breadstickAnd which member of The Commodores could beat André the Giant in arm wrestling (spoiler: none)!To the list, to the zinger, to the pain!

We didn’t want to say the funny number, so we flipped it upside down and called it 64! That spiraled into:Commodore 64 nostalgia (the games, the loading screens, the beige plastic smell)Oregon Trail dysentery trauma (plus: cholera, snakebites, broken wagon axles, and a suspicious number of “you have died” screens)Sled dogs with broken legs (and whether oxen can row if you shout at them through a megaphone)From there, we take a long detour into the pixelated backroads of:RollerCoaster Tycoon (and the ethics of $25 bathrooms)Sid Meier’s Pirates! (the only game where you can dance, duel, and get scurvy in the same afternoon)Zoombinis (featuring the allergy wall, the pizza troll, and that smug little “yep, we solved it” walk)Secret of Monkey Island — including:the spitting contest,the rhyming insult sword fights,monkey kung fu,and the coffin salesman you can literally trap in a coffin (he’s fine)We debate whether Guybrush Threepwood is immortal, whether the three-headed monkey is real, and whether Carmen Sandiego is secretly just a geography tutor with bad PR!Also featuring:“It’s not your turn, my friend” frog (the original rage quit)Dabney Coleman’s extended video game universeLode Runner monksAnd the eternal question: Did Hot Tub Time Machine rip off Rescue the Scientist… or was it the other way around?Zinger count for this episode: at least 12, depending on whether you count “scurvy jokes” as zingers!

Welcome back to the 64-Bit Podcast, where the film reels are melted, the facts are suspect, and the Saturday mornings never ended!It’s part two of our deep dive into non-Disney animation, and things are getting even weirder! We’re plumbing the bargain bins of memory for every knockoff, fever dream, and forgotten toon that never quite cracked the vault!This time, the Penny Men and friends wade through psychedelic fairy tales, European oddities, and a parade of cartoons that feel legally inadvisable! We’ve got rotoscoped freak-outs and communist gnomes!Is this media archaeology or a sleepover hallucination? Yes!We hit:The other Yellow SubmarineCzech claymation war crimesThe Fievel Cinematic UniverseThat time Garfield went full horrorAnd the greatest cartoon villain you’ve never heard ofPlus:Live-action elvesAnimated Bela LugosiNo Anastasia discourse200% more BakshiBlow the dust off your bootleg DVDs and join us for another trip through animation’s forgotten fringes! You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! You’ll ask, “Wait, who let this go to air?”🎞️ Featuring:More obscure toons than a LaserDisc collector could handleHot takes from three unpaid animation professorsAnd a whole lotta goblin energyRoll tape! Hit play! Get re-booted!

Welcome back to the 64-Bit Podcast, where the facts are fuzzy, the cartoons are forgotten, and the nostalgia spirals out of control!We’re neck-deep in non-Disney animation this hour, wading through forgotten features, rotoscoped nightmares, and flea-bitten flops! From Mr. Bug Goes to Town to Rock-a-Doodle, from Ferngully to Wizards, the Penny Men and co. dust off the animated underdogs and ask: “Was this real, or did we dream it on beta tape?”In this cinematic safari, we talk Rumpus McFowl-level deep cuts like Pinocchio in Outer Space, uncover cursed Hanna-Barbera disco tapestries (Galaxy Goof-Ups, anyone?), and revisit the glitchy grandeur of Bakshi rotoscope epics!Bonus: we solve Goofy’s genealogy! Kind of!Also featuring: A space cowboy fart musicalThree Bugs Bunnies0% Space Jam 2 forgiveness100% Wally Wood loreAnd Goof Troop canon chaos!History? Art? Therapy session? All of the above!Grab your VHS tape, rewind the CRT, and settle in for the definitive guide to everything not made by Walt!🎬 Featuring:3 cartoon historians30+ obscure filmsInfinite tangentsListen! Watch! Get Bluth’d!

Welcome back to Name That Duck, where the feathers fly and the facts get foggy! It's hour two of the greatest duck-based quiz show in podcast history! We're talking McDucks, Coots, Quackleys, Gearlooses, and more—fifty ducks deep and counting!In this installment, we barrel through DuckTales deep cuts, European comic canon, and questionable family trees! Did you know Scrooge has a cousin named Rumpus McFowl? We didn’t either, until now! From Magica Dispel’s crow-brother Poe to Darkwing Duck’s shadowy nemesis Negaduck, it’s all here!Bonus: a visual quiz—so if you're listening on a platform that supports video, switch to watch mode! You won’t want to miss the visual clues and chaos.Duck fatigue? Never heard of it!Most listened-to duck episode? We're calling it!Missed Simon McDuck? We didn’t!🦆 Featuring:100 ducks4 exhausted hosts0 apologiesListen! Watch! Quack!