Prayers that Bring Us Home

Our Interpretation of Psalm 22: Psalm 22 For the director: Upon the Dawn Deer A Song of the Beloved   My God, my God,  why have You abandoned me?  Far from my Rescue,   Far from the words of my groaning.   My God, I call by day: You do not answer! by night: There is no Stillness for me!   YET, You are Holy,   enthroned upon the praises of Israel.  In You our ancestors found Security;    they trusted, and You Rescued them. To You they cried and were Rescued; in You they trusted and they were not put to Shame.   YET, I am a worm, not a human — a disgrace among the Mortals of Dust,   despised by the people. All who see me mock me;    they twist their lips and shake their heads: “He trusted in YAHWEH— let God Rescue him;    let God deliver him, since God ‘delights’ in him!” YET, You drew me out from the womb,    You made me Rest Secure on my mother’s breasts. On You I was entrusted from birth;    from the womb of my mother You have been my God.   Do not be far from me,  for distress is near — there is no one to help!   Many bulls encircle me;  strong ones of Overfed-Power surround me. They open their mouths against me,  like a lion tearing and roaring.   I am poured out like water;  all my bones are out of joint. My heart has become like wax —  it melts within my chest.   My strength is dried up like clay;  my tongue clings to my jaws. You lay me in the dust of Death’s Demand.   Dogs surround me,  a pack of the Violators encircle me!   They pierce my hands and my feet.   I can count all my bones!  They stare and gloat over me.   They divide my garments among them;  They throw dice for my clothing.   YET You, YAHWEH — do not be far away! My Close Strength, hurry to my Help! Rescue my Being from the sword,    my precious life from the power of the dogs. Save me from the mouth of the lion,   and from the horns of the wild oxen —   You have answered me!   I will declare Your Name to my brothers and sisters;  in the midst of the Summoned: I will Praise You.   You who stand in awe of YAHWEH, give God praise! All you in the lineage of Heel-Grabber, Honor God! All you in the lineage of Wrestles-With-God Stand in Awe!   For God has NOT despised or detested  the suffering of the afflicted! God’s Presence is not hidden from Him,  but when he cried out, God heard Him!   From You comes my Praise in the Great Summoning;  I will fulfill my vows before those who fear You.   The humble will eat and be satisfied;  those who seek YAHWEH will praise!   May your hearts live to the Eternity!   All the ends of the earth will Remember and turn to YAHWEH,  and all families of the nations will bow before You,   For the Kingdom belongs to YAHWEH,  and He rules over the empires.   All who prosper on earth will bow before God;   all who go down to the dust will kneel before God —   even the one who cannot keep his Being alive!   A Lineage will serve God;   it will be told of YAHWEH to the next generation.   They will proclaim the Rescue to a people yet unborn!     God has done it!  

Our Interpretation of Psalm 118: Shine-back-to-YAHWEH, for He is good. His Persistent-Love endures to the Eternity. Let Israel say: His Persistent-Love endures to the Eternity. Let the house of Aaron say: His Persistent-Love endures to the Eternity. Let those who revere YAHWEH say: His Persistent-Love endures to the Eternity. Out of my distress I called to YAHWEH. YAHWEH answered me and set me in a wide place. YAHWEH is for me, I will not fear. What can mortals of dust do to me? YAHWEH is for me among those who help me. I will look upon my Destroyers. It is better to take refuge in YAHWEH than to place Security in mortals of dust. It is better to take refuge in YAHWEH than to place Security in “nobles.” All nations surrounded me, but in the name of YAHWEH I cut them off. They surrounded me on every side, but in the name of YAHWEH I cut them off. They surrounded me like bees, they blazed like fire among thorns, but in the name of YAHWEH I cut them off. You pushed me hard to make me fall, but YAHWEH helped me. YAHWEH is my strength and my song, and He has become my Rescue. The sound of celebration and rescue is in the tents of the Aligned. “The right hand of YAHWEH does mighty things. The right hand of YAHWEH is raised. The right hand of YAHWEH does mighty things.” I shall not die, but live, and recount the works of YAHWEH. YAHWEH has disciplined me deeply, but He has not given me over to death. Open to me the gates of Alignment, that I may enter and shine-back-to-YAHWEH. This is the gate of YAHWEH. The Aligned enter through it. I thank You that You have answered me and have become my Rescue. The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone. This is from YAHWEH. It is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day YAHWEH has made. Let us celebrate and rejoice in it. YAHWEH, Rescue us! [Hosanna] We pray. YAHWEH, cause us to flourish! We pray. Blessed is the One who comes in the name of YAHWEH. We bless you from the house of YAHWEH. YAHWEH is God, and He has given us light. Bind the festival sacrifice with cords to the horns of the altar. You are my God, and I will thank You. You are my God, I will lift You up. Shine-back-to-YAHWEH, for He is good. His Persistent-Love endures to the Eternity.

a contemplative meditation on Psalm 116 in three movements. For prayer, rest, and letting go

a guided meditation on Psalm 18 (for lying down) for receiving the grace of rescue, the promise of protection, and the encouragement of God's delight

Contemplation, breathing prayer, and receiving God's Spirit. Meditating on rowing through the night, against a headwind, and the hardness of our hearts.

A Recording of a Healing Service. 45 minutes of mantra prayer together, after a meditation on the settling necessary to live the "Hallelujah":) John dumps dirt and debris into a glass of water and swirls it around, lid-on tight, light many of us feel when the world, our experiences, and our mistakes are shaking around inside of our beings while we just try to keep it together. Hallelu-YAH means "to shine with YAHWEH" and how often do we feel opaque, messy, contaminated, or inscrutable? We need to settle. Let the waters within us calm, and all the debris settle, so the light of God can shine through and be magnified. We use these simple prayers to settle. Ramona repeats them as we breathe: I am Your child Take hold of me Mark 5:41 HOSANNA [Save Us!] By Your Love [HESED]. Psalm 109 Rescue my Being [NEPHESH] Heal me with Your Love [HESED] Psalm 6 After a time a silence, we close with the prayer Jesus teaches us in Matthew 6

John sits down again with Paul Loring and Celeste Miller to hear about grief after the Holidays, as we get into the rhythms and hopes of the New Year while cleaning up all the decorative images of hope and connection. John also asks them about "meaning-making" this great task of curiosity at the center of healthy grief.

John sits down with Celeste and Paula, two grief counselors, to talk about the confusing nature of grief, the wall we have to walk through, and tangible ways to integrate our losses into our changing identity. We're recording in the Advent season, balancing expectation and joy with the tug of fear, sadness, and mourning.

The Spiritual Dark Night, when we are so desperate for God's presence but we experience only thirst. It may not be a common topic, but vital and predictable. Every follower of Jesus will experience this Desert time, and probably multiple times in our lives. John and Heather talk with therapists and counselors Paula Loring and Celeste Miller about how to endure this horrific time of deep longing.

Heather Creamer returns to discuss the voices and temptations that interfere with our calling, and the posture that leads the the best sacred listening.

We believe a lot of lies about ourselves... We’ve hear a lot of confusing messagesd We’re lied to, and we lie to ourselves. We mistakenly but easily conflate our worth is what we do. One of our most important beliefs is what we believe about ourselves. We need to believe that we are Called. Heather Creamer and John Garland explore this experience of Calling, this "vocalization of God over us," which we refer to as "vocation."

We listen to Gilbert Hernandez talk about his experiences receiving healing and transformation, his prayer life, and spiritual lessons from his pet turtle! Gilbert introduces us to the difference between wounds and scars, and the power of directing our own healed hearts into the healing experience of others. Thanks so much to our Episode Sponsors: Psalm 139 and Lettuce

We listen to Celeste Miller talk about her experience with Grief and Lamentation from her experience as a counselor. Celeste reminds us of the difference between doubt and despair, encourages us in loneliness, and offers a beautiful mediation on the resurrection spirit. Thanks so much to our Episode Sponsors: Psalm 22 (reminding us to call out "Why have you forsaken?!" to God) and The Outdoor Christmas Lights ("no matter how long the night, just untangle the light one knot at a time")

We listen to Mitzi Moore talk about her experience with Lamenting. From her experience of safety and belovedness as a child to her intense experiences of lamentation in community and loneliness, Mitzi introduces us to the power of calling out our laments in a common voice. Thanks so much to our Episode Sponsors: Psalm 6 (reminding us to call out "How Long?!" to God) and The Internet (reminding us that good hug is better than a 100 "likes")

"God I will not be afraid... I belong to You" Psalm 3 is the first prayer in this ancient prayer book, and it begins in a place of overwhelming desperation then powerful comfort in God's protection.

"God we serve you with reverence. We take refuge in You..." The second part of the ancient "Forward" to the Prayer Book of the Bible, Psalm 2 introduces the Messiah and his sacred relationship with God.

"God, let us be like trees, planted by Your waters..." This introduction to prayer--the rhythms, characters, and vocabulary of the Spirit: Psalm 1 is the first part of the ancient "Forward" to the Prayer Book of the Bible

"Everything that has Breath... HalleluYah" The final prayer and homecoming

"Your Kingdom Come.... HalleluYah"... this is a surprising prayer--just in the middle of this pure praise there is some violent talk about a sword. We discuss what that means and the long tension that resolves.

"All Creation sings your Praises. . . HalleluYah!" This homecoming song about how all creation will join the Jubilee Kingdom

"Make our borders SHALOM.... HALLELUYAH" This magnificent prayer of homecoming in the Kingdom

"My Hope is in Yahweh... HalleluYah" The introduction of the Jubilee Kingdom. A Prayer of "Shining Back" to God

"God, we praise you!... You lift us up with Grace and Compassion". This Acrostic Poem (a teaching and memorizing tool used to convey the alphabet sounds and the power of the written word) fills us with images of God's power, and sets us up for the place of HalleluYah.

"God, reach out and rescue me... Bring me Home" This Psalm ends the movement of Psalms that respond to the magnificent intimacy of Psalm 139. After enduring the attacks on our communion with God, there is this experience of full homecoming.

"God my soul longs for You... in You I take shelter"... We continue this movement of Psalms that leads us through the lonely attacks on our intimacy with God we felt so powerfully in Psalm 139... they are like a deep dive into the final line of the Lord's Prayer.

"God, You are my refuge... when my spirit feels weak" This Psalm of deep suffering of abandonment comes in the shadow of the beautiful intimacy of Psalm 139... a connection with God that will feel attacked, but this ancient prayer guides us cry out to (and at) God when we fall into the dark cave.

"God, lead me away from temptation... for my eyes are toward you"... we continue in the shadow of Psalm 139's divine intimacy, but explore the attacks that come against that closeness, and return to the uncomfortable idea of "perfect hate"

"GOD, PROTECT ME FROM THE EVIL ONE... LET ME DWELL IN YOUR PRESENCE" this Psalm begins a movement of 5 prayers that respond to the great, divine intimacy of Psalm 139 with the reality of that intimacy's desperate need for protection... Christians understand these Psalms from the last line of the "Lord's Prayer": deliver us from the evil one

For your meditation, we've taken out the commentary so you can simply listen to this ancient movement of the Psalms which leads us from a since of place, through a mantra prayer, into the depths of pain and rage, back up to a promise of love, and into the most intimate prayer of the Messiah's relationship with the Creator--a prayer of invitation and welcome Home.

This is not like any of our other episodes... We explore an entire movement of Psalms, and perhaps the most important movement in the Psalms as we arrive at the Prayer Book's zenith. Gaye and John give commentary to introduce each Psalm, then Ramona prays them for us... the next episode will just be Psalms 135-139 but with our commentary removed for your use in meditative prayer.

"God who made Heaven and Earth... we bless You"... this is the last of the Pilgrim Songs, the Psalms of Ascent sung the faithful go up to Zion. It is set in the dwelling place of the creator, the full homecoming.

"God, Anoint us with unity... bless us with life together"... this pilgrim song gives us lovely images of receiving this gift of unity against all the odds of the world.

"God, clothe me in Righteousness; Wrap me in Salvation"... Psalm 132 is the Messianic Psalm that looks back at the historical foundation of the Temple, forward to the Messianic fulfillment, and directly into our communal hearts as pilgrims.

"I give my sould over to Silence; I'm a weaned child resting against my mother"... Psalm 131 is what Gaye calls a Puddle that becomes a Well. One of the Pilgrim songs of a people ascending to Zion.

We continue the "Psalms of Ascent" the songs sung going up to Jerusalem for the celebration of the feasts, and this magnificent prayer holds us from the depths, teaches us the cry for ransom, and holds us in this marvelous image of God's "hesed" love

Again TWO "Psalms of Ascent" set right next to each other holding a lot of tension! We'll look at both of these Pilgrim Songs together, and how they hold the deep desire for protection next to the desperate need for healing after trauma.

this Psalm of Ascents, a pilgrim song sung by the crowds headed to Jerusalem, is a stunning image of responsibility and surrender, parenting and release, productivity and de-centering ourselves to truly see God's power.

Two more "Psalms of Ascent"--these pilgrim songs are in extreme tension but set together intentionally to guide our spiritual rootedness... the first is a song of Zionistic protection, and the next is about healing after destruction. We hope for protection and hold onto the power of resurrection, and these Psalms guide our hearts toward that depth.

The 5th of these 15 "Psalms of Ascent" the pilgrim songs sung by the caravans headed to the city of gathering and shalom, Jerusalem. The image of the broken bird snare, the release, the escape by God's gracious power is a powerful blessing and anchor of hope.

Psalm 123 is the 4th of the 15 "Psalms of Ascent" the pilgrim songs sung on the way up to Jerusalem for the feasts and festivals... this one is a real favorite of Christians because of the way Mary quotes it in Luke's Gospel... it is a magnificent teacher for the eyes of our hearts

"Shine forth against the darkness, my God. . . Comfort my anxious soul." This Psalm calls us to an assurance, even in the heavy shadow of oppression and violence.

"God, you reign over all. . . let us feel your Strength" This brief and powerful prayer affirms the firm establishment, the forever promise, the stability of God's power... such a vital thing to hold onto in the tumult of brokenness. Our bodies and minds need to hold onto this foundation. This lovely prayer comes within a movement of Psalms in which the Enemy [of all stability] is clearly seen and this promise of eternal trust is so vital.

"God, let me flourish . . . Like a tree in your courtyard." This beautiful Psalm gives us marvelous images of the rhythm and blessing of God's proximity, a glimpse of the Messiah's perspective, and a promise of flourishing.

"We call upon you, God. . . Be our Refuge" This Psalm is one of the most memorized, recited, and adored in the history of humanity. We love its powerful imagery and promise but also we have a strained relationship with it--knowing it as the Psalm that the Satan used to tempt Jesus (Matt 4 and Luke 4). We pray this Psalm within this movement of Psalms, knowing its power, knowing that Jesus rebuffs the false interpretation by quoting Psalm 95, and knowing that the promises have already come true and we can experience their forever resonance.

"Teach us to number our days. . . Lord, Give us a Heart of Wisdom" Psalm 90 opens us up to a vision of our own mortality in the light of God's eternal presence. Called a prayer of Moses, it invites both into life rhythms and the 4th Book in the Psalms.

"Though we carry all of this hurt. . . We hold Your HESED love forever, God." This roller coaster of voices begins with perfect praise, shifts to God's description and promises of the Messiah, and then finally gathers around the Messiah crying out to God in agonizing misery. This Psalm concludes a movement of Psalms that began in 86 and introduces us to the Messiah's heart and life-arch.

"YAHWEH I cry out to you. . . through the lonely night." This Psalm comes from the Dark Night of the Soul, the "Desert" time of abandonment and loneliness. We hear the Messiah's voice crying out to God and wonder if there is any hope at all. Yet here is the rhythm of holding on, and continuing to pray, even when everything seems impossible. We find ourselves in the middle of a movement of Psalms that come from the heart and experience of the suffering Messiah.

"This one was born there… All our springs are in You" A mystery song about birth, sandwiched between Empires, yet in the City of God. We wonder with this marvelous song...

"Incline your ear to me YAHWEH... UNITE my heart to your Way". The beautiful Psalm begins a new movement of prayers that are close to the identity, heart, and experiences of the Messiah. The Christian scriptures quote this Psalm as the "Lamb's Song." We will explore some of its many treasures.

"God of our Salvation. . . Let us hear the footsteps of your Way" Psalm 85 is an overwhelming song of beauty and the fruitful arrival of heaven on earth. Some of the most important words and images in our expressions of faith come together in this prayer as we end a movement of Psalms that began in Psalm 79, leading through desolation, hopelessness, fury, and then a call to Pilgrimage--now we see the fruit of pilgriming with the Messiah.