Same-Sex Attracted and a Christian. Now What?

In this episode, I review the highlights of episodes A, B, C, and D. I add what I learned from Kris Lundgaard's book The Enemy Within (Straight Talk About the Power of Sin) about what the deceptive heart really is, which we read about in Jeremiah 17:9. I include Lundgaard's teaching on the law of sin that resides in the desires of the flesh (Romans 7:21) that seem stronger than we are. I also include my own understanding that the law of the Spirit that is in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:2) is stronger than the law of sin. We experience the law of the Spirit when we partner with the Holy Spirit in our obedience, and He "kills” the desires of the flesh. And I explain what “kills the flesh” means. Email: [email protected]

In this episode, I explain that the writings of Puritan John Owen, a “theologian’s theologian,” who lived 500 years ago, taught me how to partner with the Holy Spirit to deal with same-sex attraction and all desires of the flesh according to the Word of God. I also reference The Enemy Within (Straight Talk about the Power and Defeat of Sin) by Kris Lundgaard. He bases his understanding of how a Christian deals with sin on John Owen’s book, The Mortification of Sin, which is considered the best book on dealing with sin and the desires of the flesh. Lundgaard defines the law of sin that Paul writes about in Romans 7:22-13, emphasizing that understanding sin, the desires of the flesh, as a law is foundational to dealing with the flesh free from its pull; Lundgaard calls it “freed from sin’s bullying.” I recommend his and Owen’s book, and the daily devotional A Year of Puritan Devotional Readings, Voices from the Past by Banner of Truth. I also take a look at 1 Thessalonians 4:2-8, God’s command to believers to engage in sanctification, to deal biblically with the desires of the flesh. And that anyone who rejects it, rejects Christ. Serious business. With serious consequences – for believers.  Email: [email protected]

I left off with Part B talking about Puritan John Owen, and that Part C was to begin with my sharing how his teachings taught me how to deal with same-sex attraction, and all desires of the flesh, biblically. As I began recording this episode, I realized I needed to first share how being introduced to Reformed Theology prepared me for Owen's teachings. Previously, I had a limited understanding of the Reformation and why and how God used Martin Luther to bring it about. I also realized that Reformed Theology, as taught by the men who ministered as Reformed theologians, and God led me to them on YouTube, unpacked the core doctrines of the faith that I already believed and accepted, but with a depth that was new to me. For the first time, I understood that the core doctrines that define Christianity, such as the Fall, its effects on humanity, being born again, and becoming new creatures in Christ, and understanding them in depth, build the house, our lives, that Jesus said will withstand the storms of life, temptation, tragedy, sickness, and persecution (Matt 7:24-27, Luke 6:47-49). I am both humbled and delighted to share it. Email: [email protected]

In this episode, I share that after learning that God does not heal same-sex attraction, and not knowing how the healing would manifest, which it never did anyway, God brought a cadre of theologians into my life unexpectedly through YouTube with their videos. They teach how a Christian deals with the flesh biblically. When I speak of the flesh, I mean the desires inside of us that pit themselves against God's moral laws and creation ordinances of sexuality, gender, and marriage, including same-sex attraction. Some of these theologians lived 500 years ago, the Puritans. It is my joy to share their writings with you, beginning with this episode and in depth in Part C. Email: [email protected]

In this episode, I share how, after years of not knowing how to biblically deal with my attraction to men as a Christian, God brought Christian theologians into my life who taught me how to do it. It's called ongoing personal satisfaction, a scary-sounding and misunderstood word - yet a core doctrine of the Christian faith. And it's what God requires of all Christians, because He's provided for it in Jesus. It's also a doctrine that much of the evangelical church has shrouded in a "feel-good" gospel that is short on obedience and heavy on grace, which turns grace into an excuse for sin rather than a call to repentance. I pray these episodes will challenge you and equip you in your own sanctification by the word of God and the Holy Spirit. Please check out the episodes that chronicle my journey in learning how to deal with my attraction to men biblically. It began in 2018. Email: [email protected]

 In this episode, I trace, starting in 1946, the history of homosexuality and the church, gay rights, and gay Christianity. In 1946, the Revised Standard Version of the New Testament was the first translation to use the word " homosexual” in 1 Corinthians 6:9 and 1 Timothy 1:10. Earlier translations used “sodomites” and “them that abuse themselves with mankind.” Both speak of behaviors, and homosexual speaks of personhood. I point out that the words homosexual and heterosexual were created in the mid -1880s by a man named Kertbeny. The word homosexual in the 1946 Revised Version of the New Testament opened the door for evangelicals to side with Kertbeny, although they didn’t realize it, eventually giving birth to gay Christianity – the heresy of 2026. In the episode, The Upside-Down Kingdom Bible and the Gay Christian, I unpack how each promotes that heresy. And how it aligns with the history of gay rights. Email: [email protected]

In this episode, I share that, after wanting to join a Christian ministry, and fearing I would be rejected if I disclosed that I was same-sex attracted (The ministry asked it of all applicants.), I gave up fighting being same-sex attracted and lived as a gay man, a prodigal, like the prodigal son in Luke 15: 3-32. It is a follow-up to My Journey to Jesus. It leads to A Prodigal Son Comes Home (A and B). I was hoping I could place it closer to those episodes, which I published earlier. I apologize for the inconvenience. Email: [email protected]

In this episode, I share the months and years 1966-69 after I received Christ. I also share that my mother took liberties with me until I was 12, mother-son incest/sexual abuse; I omitted it from Part A, because I did not want to disgrace my mother. She died in 1985, and I have long since forgiven her. I decided to include it because there are men who have suffered mother-son incest, and my story may encourage them, especially to forgive their mother.  The evangelical world I entered condemned homosexuals apart from the context of the gospel. And that a born-again believer could struggle with being same-sex attracted was never mentioned.  Within that condemnation and silence, I tried to ignore that I was same-sex attracted by serving as a student leader with Campus Crusade for Christ, while working on a bachelor’s degree in education. All through college, I had one goal: to join the Crusade (as we called it) staff when I graduated. I close this episode with my dream of serving Jesus with Crusade ending up in a waste basket and telling myself, “If you are gay, you’d better find out what it means.” Email: [email protected]

In this episode, I share my journey coming to Jesus and receiving Him as my Savior and Lord- I was 20. At age 14, I experienced a sexual encounter with an adult male. It happened between my freshman and sophomore years of high school. The encounter devastated me emotionally and my ability to learn. I also became a chronic truant. The same-sex sex that I experienced with the man left me craving more of it. By age 16, I was on the road to sexual addiction, having anonymous sex with men. I came to Jesus, rather He came to me, a broken young man, perhaps on the road to homelessness. This episode is the first episode that chronicles my journey.   Email: [email protected]

My podcast is Same Sex Attracted and a Christian. Now what? Have I titled this episode The Joy of Becoming a Closet Christian to belittle what "closet" has meant to countless men and women who are same-sex attracted? I mean the men and women who hid that they were same-sex attracted: staying in the closet.  And those who declared publicly that they were same-sex attracted: came out of the closet. For many, it was a painful journey. Am I saying that the Bible doesn't teach that homosexuality is a sin? No!!! What I am saying is that I know what it's like to try to understand why I am same-sex attracted, as a Christian. And what to do about it biblically. I believed that the Bible is God's word and that it teaches homosexuality and its practices are sin, and yet I was attracted to men sexually. To point my finger at anyone else would make me a hypocrite of the lowest and most despicable kind. I've launched this podcast to share what I've learned biblically that answered my own question: Same-sex attracted and a Christian. Now what? I've taken the idea of being a closet Christian from Matthew 6:6 in the King James Version of the Bible: When the prayest, go into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret will reward thee openly. A closet Christian meets with God one-to-one to seek Him in Scripture and in prayer. To get to know Him. Combined with excellent biblical teaching by men who taught about biblically dealing with sin as a Christian, all sin, and becoming a closet Christian to personally develop what I was taught, and deepen my relationship with God, answered my now what? I pray that what I've learned will bless you and your walk with the Lord.  My heart to yours, DennisEmail: [email protected]

Jesus in John 3:3 tells us that we cannot enter the kingdom of God if we are not born again. Before I was born again, I thought that people who claimed to be born were crazy fanatics - weirdos. I didn't understand that the idea came from Jesus, Himself. It wasn't an idea; it was His command. In this episode, I take us through Scripture to show our need to be born again and how it happens - the most beautiful experience this side of heaven. God's blessings to you as you listen. Email: [email protected]

In this episode, I pick up where I left off in: Was I Born Gay? I unpack the scriptures with greater depth which are the answers to the question.   Email: [email protected]

In this episode, I look at a question that is asked by countless men and women attracted to the same sex: Was I born gay? If not, then why do I remember being attracted to the same sex as a child? Is gay my "marker" of personhood? Using my own life as a backdrop, I look at the Bible to see how it answers the question.Email: [email protected]

In this episode, Back to Chicago – My Babylon, I share how after recommitting my life to Christ and having lived as a prodigal for eight years as a gay man, three in Chicago’s gay community, I realized that I needed to leave Chicago to restructure my life. In the two previous episodes, A Prodigal Son Comes Home and A Prodigal Son Comes Home Part B, I shared how, in 1981, I repented living as a gay man and returned to the welcoming arms of my Heavenly Father (Luke 15: 11-32). I also shared that I was living in Chicago’s gay community, one of the largest in the United States. Immediately, I felt that I was severed from actively living in the community; but same-sex attraction still called my name, almost at my front door. Two years after I recommitted my life to Christ, on December 28, 1982, I moved to Denver. This episode is my return to Chicago in 1991. Email: [email protected]

This is a follow-up to A Prodigal Son Comes Home, in which I share how I came back to Jesus after living as a gay man, a prodigal for eight years (Luke 15: 11-32). Facing the fact that I still lived In Chicago's gay community, Boy's Town, one of the largest gay communities in the United States, it was the first time that I asked myself: now what? How do I face the temptations at my doorstep and deal with them? In this episode, A Prodigal Comes Home Part B, I share how God began using me immediately after I recommitted my life to Jesus, and at the same time I struggled with the temptations at my doorstep.  After two years, I decided to move to Denver to distance myself from the prodigal life I once lived and still called my name. This episode ends by boarding Amtrak's Zepher and saying goodbye to my Christian friends. Email: [email protected]

Welcome to the "maiden voyage" of Same-Sex Attracted and a Christian. Now What? My name is Dennis Belkofer. The name of the podcast is the biography of my life, and it chronicle my journey, as a Christian, seeking to find the answer to my own: Now what?  How to do I navigate my life and deal with my attraction to men biblically - under the authority of God's word - so I live a life pleasing to my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ? I became a Christian in 1966, when the world looked at homosexuality as a "mysterious subculture" to stay away from except in jokes that painted "homosexuals" with de-humanizing and derogatory titles. The Christian world I entered - the Evangelical framework - rarely acknowledged that homosexuality existed. And when it did, it condemned it; and almost never in the context of the gospel - the saving work of Jesus Christ - as if men and women attracted to the same sex were beyond redemption and forgiveness. Oh, it wasn't what was said - but the silence that spoke louder than words. That silence carried over to me: a Christian attracted to the same sex. And I was afraid to break the silence by asking for help in understanding why I was attracted to men and dealing with it. The church was my refuge and home. I was being loved and cared for now. But would it change if I revealed that I was attracted to men? And if I did, would the church know what to do with me?  I was hearing people sharing how they came to Christ from a variety of sinful lifestyles, even as murderers, never out of homosexuality. That in itself answered the question. Keeping the attraction to myself was better than risking what I thought was inevitable: being treated as a modern-day leper to avoid. Please know that I am not excusing my sin and asking for sympathy. But I can't deny that was the Evangelical framework that greeted me with open arms, not knowing that I was attracted to men. Please know that I never once thought homosexuality to be anything but sin, which made not knowing why I was attracted to men and how to deal with it feel as if I were trapped in a prison. Today, I have found the answers, and they are in Romans 5, 6, 7 and 8: God's blueprint for "dealing" with the Christian's greatest challenge - indwelling sin - regardless of what that sin may be, including same-sex attraction. I've launched this podcast, using my life as a backdrop, to share "this blueprint" with Christians struggling with same-sex attraction and are asking: Now what? With parents whose child says they are gay, and the parents don't know what to do about it. To combat the lie that there is such a thing as a "gay" Christian; it has gained footing in the Evangelical framework as Side B Christianity. To encourage pastors, church leaders, and Christian counselors when ministering to Christians attracted to the same sex. And to "call home" Christians who gave up trying to deal with same-sex attraction, resigned themselves to it, and are prodigals living as gay men and women. I was "that" prodigal for nearly eight years. This, the podcast's first episode, "A Prodigal Son Comes Home," is my leaving the "far country" of living as a gay man (Luke 14:11-32). If you also are "that" prodigal: Your Father is calling you home, as He called me; and He is waiting to celebrate your "homecoming!" Email: [email protected]