The Dame Debate

In our fourth episode we take a deep dive into Dune by Frank Herbert. Specifically we dig into Lady Jessica and he role as a woman, wife, and mother. How she integrates her emotions, challenges her fears, and masters herself.

In our third episode we mull over what jealousy looks like in friend dynamics, how we can be boxed out or fall away from each other. But Tyler realizes that she tends to have a negative reaction when she hears others having a positive experience without her. Why? Insecurity? What reaction would be more appropriate and accurately oriented? Join us as we investigate these questions!

In our second episode we tackle a problem Gail has noticed popping up for her. If our friends approach us when they've been wronged by someone how can we give council and not come off as a victim blamer by leaving space for their feelings. Often times our feelings can serve as sticky molasses, making it difficult to get to the real issues. The aim we are trying to achieve is for our friends to be encouraged, to be strong enough to face being victim of bad behavior and not be take out by it.

In our first episode we started to outline how we landed on the new name for the podcast and the logo. But after recording we felt like there was still more to discuss! So join us as we big a bit deeper into the symbolism and meaning of The Dame Debate. Check out our website for things we link to in the show!

In this first episode we get into the meaning of the name "The Dame Debate" for our new podcast. Why we chose the name and what it means to us, as well as our new logo and the symbolism therein. But along the way we talk about female friendship, the relationship between women and men in a marriage and our roles. Check out our website for links to the things we reference in the show!

#40 Times are changing, it's almost a new year, and everyone's lives have evolved. The Genuine Gals podcast is trying something new! Join us this episode as we bid farewell and exciting tidings to Kami and welcome in a new host, Tyler. We will cover what changes are on the horizon and give details on a new and exciting venture, The Dame Debate!

#039 The title says it all - we really get into why being disagreeable is more genuine than being agreeable. In reality, agreeing to agree and stir something up is in no way helpful. There is a way to go about things if you are not wanting to really dig into something that you disagree with but truly stating your honest opinion and stance is always the route we recommend to present the most genuine front. This topic is important to us as we have seen people and been the person to be agreeable and seen the issues it can create. For Kami, being a people pleaser plays a lot into being agreeable and she has really learned how to put her personal spin on disagreeability recently and she shares her experience with it. Take a listen and let us know your thoughts. We know there is no one right way to do things and would love to hear other perspectives!

#038 This episode we really get into grief, death and how it's all viewed. We use the analogy from Harry Potter about the deathly hallows and the three brothers. It's a fascinating conversation where we really wrestle with viewpoints, how hard death can be, different scenarios, why it happens and how death is inevitably coming for all of us. We know that sounds depressing but we promise this is a genuine conversation that is somewhat uplifting considering the topic. We feel it's an important one to address and something that gets ignored. Take a listen and let us know what you think!

#037 We can believe it's been a year! Happy Anniversary! This episode we decided to take time to reflect on how we have improved and it's a really insightful episode on how we have progressed and where we want to go. We couldn't stop smiling while we listened to this back and it really felt like a milestone. We are excited to share this with you and hear your thoughts on how the podcast has evolved. We encourage you to also reflect on the past year and see how it can impact you!

#036 We try to pick up where we last left of with Chelsea from her episode a while back. Take a listen to that if you haven't already then listen to this one - it's worth it, we promise. Chelsea is the astrology guru you've always wanted and needed in your life. We take a deep dive into Gail's chart as Chelsea does a reading for her. We dive into some questions around various topics and get into the nitty gritty of things. We are so excited to share this intimate moment with you!

#035 Such a fun episode! We talk about the artist and the muse, openness with your partner, taking things as they come and so much more! We love these rapid fire discussions because they are really off the cuff, spur of the moment and in the moment. These questions feel random in the moment but they send us down these amazing rabbit holes that we may not have discovered any other way. We hope you enjoy!

#034 This one is a fun one with similar formatting to the other Rapid Fire episodes but we go down a deep hole with the simple question of "What gets you out of a rut?". We answer the question then we continue conversing in our organic, genuine, "out to lunch" kind of way. It's a really insightful and healthy conversation that we are so excited for you to listen to and think through some things with us. Let us know what you think!

#033 Or not so rapid fire! This is a fun one we dive into everything from first kisses to parenting. You know we love to jibber jabber but we really get into some thoughtfulness and wrestle with a few things. We have fun along the way, of course, but it'll getcha thinkin! We love it an we hope you do too!

#032 Let's talk about getting vulnerable and how good that can be for you and others...this episode gets to the heart of things and our dear friend Bristols lays her heart out for all to see. It's a beautiful episode full of our usual twists and turns but we really get to serious meet of what growth looks like in a unique environment. This conversation really is one for the books that we are so excited for you all to get to be apart of. Give it a listen and let us know what you think!

#031 Rapid fire or not so rapid fire...we will let you decide! Since we haven't answered our own rapid fire questions, we decided to take some time to do so. We have some debate and add in some additional questions that get's Kam in a bit of a tizzy but we work through it. Rapid fire questions are the questions we end each guest appearance with so things like who do you admire, what do you admire about yourself, what is your favorite book...so as you can imagine, we go down some fun rabbit holes (per usual). Enjoy!

#030 We are so excited for you to meet our friend and genuine gal, Kate Tichelkamp! We talk about life, work, our younger selves, the future, politics, and Kate's various areas of expertise. Kate lives in St. Louis, MO and is heavily involved in the nonprofit world. We learned so much from Kate and hope you do too! She truly has such an amazing perspective on life and she has such a care for others that really can be heard in her voice. You can find Kate on instagram if you want to interact with her more - @katetickelkamp. Enjoy!

#029 I bet you are thinking "change is an awfully broad topic, what do you mean by 'change'?" Well you are correct - it is a broad topic! We simply converse opening about the topic of change and I am sure we will approach the topic again. We get into it in terms of work, personal life, government, science and so much more. We scratch the surface of what the book and show "Lessons in Chemistry" offers on this topic. We talk through the needs of certain types of people and differences we see. What we wish for the world is to be good adopters of change and see the good it can bring. Question it in a healthy manner, sure, but come from a place of understanding and positivity. There is so much more to be uncovered here but I hope you enjoy our first go at it. NOTE: Kami has trouble with her voice in this one, so if you notice some awkward pauses or clearing of her throat, that is why. Thanks for your understanding.

This one is a thinker and we are intrigued by it - Shame and guilt, are they good for us? What should we look out for? Is there a difference? We really look at it but we of course take some turns that are unexpected and getcha thinkin! We get into how Brene Brown really has a handle on this one and bring it back to a book of hers as well as the Real Self-Care book. Lots to chew on but an important topic that will probably continue to surface. Enjoy!

To start the new year off with a bang, we talk about owning your shit ...and some other stuff, as usual! When looking at mistakes, we pose the question of 'What's a healthy level of looking at the mistake and analyzing it?". We veer a bit off topic (but it's worth while) and we really take a dive into our initial perceptions of each other and have a sweet processing moment of our friendship. We tap into grief and what that process can look like. It's an interesting bag of tricks that we hope you enjoy! Happy new year!

#026 We revisit the self-compassion topic and dig around a little further on the topic. We felt we needed to circle back on the topic and continue the discussion. There are many view points on this topic and circle up on the book Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin, MD. We get into the psychological benefits, the wrestle we have with this internally and a look at how to accurately judge ourselves. It's the nitty gritty, it's interesting and it's fun! There may even be a little Gilmore Girls talk in there...Enjoy! Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin, MD.

#025 WOW! That was our initial reaction when we finished this conversation with our friend Chelsea! Chelsea is an astrologer, tarot card reader, life coach and friend. Kami met Chelsea at a previous job and have stayed connected ever since. Chelsea is full of knowledge, compassion and a genuine desire to help others. Guys, talk about "GETTING INTO IT" - this conversation goes into starting a business, astrology, dating, multiple lives, Christianity, belief systems and understanding! It's so cool and fun to look at it all with Chelsea. There's so much to uncover and we will definitely have Chelsea on again to dig a little deeper. Enjoy the listen and perhaps listen to it twice because it's packed full of all the little nuggets! Chelsea can be found on Instagram @shesintothiswoowoostuff, her website for more details is thiswoowoostuff.com and her podcast is Weekly Woo with Chels.

#024 We really tried to get into the nitty gritty of the topic of the division of labor within a household - leave it to us to really trail off on some side tangents. Our conclusion is it's important and hold firm that it comes down to personal preference and communication. We really encourage the conversation for healthy division based on what you LIKE doing and when you WANT to do it. We also take into account what the differences could be when you involve kids (even though we don't have children of our own) and we hypothesize what we would do if we had children. We get into a fun cooking conversation and how it can be fun to learn but also intimidating. Hope you enjoy it!

#023 Today Gail sits with our good friend, Sammy Barranco, formerly Sammy Stevens! We both know Sammy from college and really admire her for her attention to detail and intentionality she portrays in every area of her life. Gail does a great job doing this interview solo and really digs in with Sammy on the why and how Sammy does life. This genuine convo goes down some rabbit holes we love going down and it is so fun to see Sammy's perspective on things! We are so excited for you to meet Sammy and for you hear her thoughts!

#022 Well we have touched on this before but we really thought it was important to talk more about this topic - starting a family, the fertility journey and getting pregnant. Life is hard and there are things that make it even more difficult but for good reason, like having kids. While the female body is fascinating with it's design to reproduce, it is also quite the miracle that the stars align for women over 30 and become pregnant. We get into Kami's journey with starting a family, the difficulties and the various parts of the body that play into child bearing. Listen to dig in some more and let us know if you can relate or if you want to talk more!

#021 Well this one has so many rabbit holes that we go down that we are chalking it up to a "Genuine Convo" also known as "A Mixed Bag of Tricks". We start with social media and how it can impact us. Then we move into celebrities, our attachment to them, and the psychology behind being an entertainer. We then move on to working and being a parent at the same time. We trail off through a few more areas so it's all around a fun time. We get curious, ask questions we don't know the answers to and have fun while we do it! Hope you enjoy!

#020 Well leave it to us to go down some rabbit holes! Today we get into the theory of Mate Value and why, as genuine women, we try to alter our appearance and our minds to be a certain way. Everything from fake lashes (seemingly harmless, right?) to our beliefs. Through this journey we take a ride on the wild side an consider if we should be considerate of our partners feelings when responding to situations or if we should just deliver the message. This topic is something we talk about all the time, whether we know it or not, it's always peppered in. So this is not the last time you will hear us talk about these things.         •       Buss, D. M. (1989). Sex differences in human mate preferences: Evolutionary hypotheses tested in 37 cultures. American Scientist, 77, 51-59.        •       Buss, D. M., & Barnes, M. F. (1986). Preferences in human mate selection. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50, 559-570.        •       Buss, D. M., & Schmitt, D. P. (1993). Sexual strategies theory: An evolutionary perspective on human mating. Psychological Review, 100, 204-232.        •       Buss, D. M., & Shackelford, T. K. (2008). Attractive women want it all: Good genes, economic investment, parenting proclivities, and emotional commitment. Personality and Individual Differences, 44, 111-120.

#019 We dive into the aspect of self-compassion as it's described in the book Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin. The approach we take is how we look at this for ourselves and for each other. The book lists three different parts of self-compassion and we really look at them, ask the hard questions and really dissect it. There are parts of this definition of self-compassion we agree with and there are parts that we disagree with which makes it a healthy conversation around such an important topic. As always, we go down some rabbit holes and give some real life examples we hope you can relate to. We would love to know your thoughts on on these ideas and want further perspectives that may even conflict with what we are saying.

#018 Today we sit with our good friend, Tyler, who is a female by the way, and we get into everything from how to handle sticky situations and conversations to why we are the way we are. We bounce all over the place but it's a true, genuine, fun time and I think you're really going to love it! Tyler and Gail met through their Master's program and stayed in touch through a book club that they still contribute to today. Kami just recently met Tyler but feels like she has known her forever! We are so excited for you to meet Tyler and for you hear her perspective on all things Genuine Gals. Tyler is a master at recommending books to people as long as you give her a list of criteria so if you inclined to hit her up for a rec, you can reach her on Instagram @TylerRoseReads.

#017 This episode really digs into what it means to live a purpose driven life, the questions we sometimes ask ourselves in regard to the purpose of our life here on earth and just overall how we handle the ebbs and flows of life. We believe there is a reason for our existence but sometimes we struggle to fully understand what that is and we wrestle with that on this episode.

#016 This episode we get into our thoughts on if we are able to show pure happiness for someone upon hearing some exciting news - for example, someone you know well announces they get a new job, are you immediately happy for them or do you resort to envious emotion of wanting what they have or do you have a mixture of both? We ask all of the questions of each other and hypothesize why we react the way we react. In terms of being genuine with other women, a lot of times that means reacting to people's life news - so we struggle with the idea of reacting genuinely vs reacting kindly even though internally you are conflicted. We hope you think a little deeper and share your thoughts with us!

#015 OUR FIRST GUEST! Adrian Lovett - from Dallas, TX living in Oklahoma City, 29, married and a dog mom! We are so excited for you to hear Adrian's perspective on being a genuine person, what it means to her, how she learned to be this version of herself, our take on some of her view points and some good laughs along the way. Find Adrian on Instagram @adrianwlovett to learn more about her.

#014 Perception is such a big topic for us and we could have definitely taken this episode into many episodes and we may even circle back on it in the future. Perception is a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something - a mental impression - and sometimes people perceive things differently. We get into the different areas of life where we have experienced difficulties due to a difference of perception. We are big fans of assuming positive intent and seeing things from different points of view but we really dig into why we perceive the same situations differently (think past experiences, trauma, how we were raised, etc). We hope you enjoy our wrestle with this topic.

#013 We decided it was time to dig into the big topic of fear and failure, the fear of failure, what fear means and why failure is something we fear. We talk ourselves in circles while also making perfect sense. We give examples, we touch on imposter syndrome and we even talk more into childhood development (surprise)! We go down some weird paths that are unexpected - like why men are afraid to fail in the bedroom. We know we aren't men but we have some hypothesis from a women's perspective. Dig in and have fun with us!

#012 This episode really gets into narcissism - we look into how the majority of people have tendencies, the origin of the word and degree of severity. We talk about how to identify a narcissist and determine if you are being manipulated in work, friendships, family or a romantic relationship. Gail and I have both dealt with our fair share of narcissistic men in our dating careers and we talk through some of those situations. Enjoy! sources: - The Skinny Confidential Him and Her Podcast - #502 Dr. Jaime Zuckerman - Hollman, L. (2020, May 18). Narcissist vs. Sociopath vs. Psychopath: What's the Difference? Retrieved from Laurie Hollman - Grannon, R. (2019). A cult of one: How to deprogram yourself from narcissistic abuse. London: Recovery Road Press. - Green, J., & Bryant, C. (2023, January 17). Narcissism: But what about me? [Episode 1447]. Stuff You Should Know. Retrieved from https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-stuff-you-should-know-26940277/episode/narcissism-but-what-about-me-29467411/ - Conti, P. (2022, February 14). Narcissism, sociopathy, envy, and the nature of good and evil [Episode 357]. Lex Fridman Podcast. Retrieved from https://lexfridman.com/paul-conti/

#011 We dive into the "Let Them" theory, from Mel Robbins. We look at the positives and negatives of the theory, how best to apply it and some exceptions to the rule. The theory is backed by the way to achieve peace in life. We consider it a fascinating way to approach situations in life but not all situations. sources: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-70 - Hollman, L. (2020, May 18). Narcissist vs. Sociopath vs. Psychopath: What's the Difference? Retrieved from https://lauriehollmanphd.com/2020/05/18/narcissist-vs-sociopath-vs-psychopath-whats-the-difference/ - Peterson, J. B. (2018). 12 rules for life: An antidote to chaos. New York, NY: Random House. Strayed, C. (2012). Tiny beautiful things: advice on love and life from Dear Sugar. New York, NY: Vintage Books.

#010 We are looking at the quote "Love does not hurt.Stop convincing yourself that you'd rather be in pain with someone than be in pain without them." This is our last episode of this series where we analyze specific self help quotes - the good and the bad - and tweak them a little bit to capture their true meaning. This one we take down a bit of a rabbit whole on the idea that love doesn't hurt - or rather, it shouldn't but some times it does.

#009 We dive into the quote "Not everyone thinks like you. What makes sense to you doesn't necessarily make sense to someone else. Communicate." We see this as more of a reminder and think through all of the times we thought others should think like us. It's a simple thought that we have to remind ourselves regularly because we can get stuck in our own worlds and heads. This episode we kind of go all over the place but we land on the thought and understanding that we need this reminder from time to time. Leave comments if you have any thoughts on this topic and let us know what else you want us to talk through. Find us on instagram @thegenuinegals and visit us on our website at thegenuinegals.com. -Greene, J. (2013). Moral tribes: Emotion, reason, and the gap between us and them. Penguin Press. -Yu, C., Chai, Y., & Liu, Y. (2018). Literature review on collective intelligence: a crowd science perspective. International Journal of Crowd Science, 2(1), 64-73.

#008 This is a solo Gail episode where she comes at this weeks quote from every angle possible. The quote: "Falling for the potential of who someone could be instead of who they actually are will cause you grave pain and disappointment. The sooner you let go. The faster you'll heal." Everything from potential in children to significant others and friends. The aim is to try to see it from all sides and we know that everyone can interpret things differently from different audiences. Gail has some giggles for you and some amazing takes on life. Give it a listen and let us know how you interpret the quote! - J. Peterson and R. Kelley. Parkour and Rough Play: Combatting Infantilization. The Dr. Jordan Peterson Podcast. Episode 343. 27 March 2023. - Rasmussen University. (2023, March 8). What is rough and tumble play? An educator's guide. Retrieved from https://www.rasmussen.edu/degrees/education/blog/rough-and-tumble-play/ - Durante, K. M., Griskevicius, V., & Roberts, S. C. (2011). The red lipstick effect: Women’s facial attractiveness increases following the application of red lipstick. Psychological science, 22(11), 1359-1366. - Laeng B, Ellemers N. Evolutionary Theories and Men's Preferences for Women's Waist-to-Hip Ratio: Which Hypotheses Remain? A Systematic Review. Frontiers in Psychology. 2019;10:1-16. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01221 - Weinberg, R. A. (1989). Intelligence and IQ. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

#007 Looking at another life motto: "No one owes you anything. You are the leader of your own life. Work for what you want. That makes you the most powerful person you can be." We dive into what this phrase really means, how it pertains to our own lives, what it could mean for yours and analyzing some word usage (ie. the word "that"). Self care phrases are all the rage these days but what do they actually mean and why do we like them so much? We are big encouragers of taking a look deeper into ourselves and taking a personal inventory. We talk about what true leadership is and how we can use that perspective to lead our own lives in the direction we hope to go. If you have any questions or comments, let us know on instagram @thegenuinegals or [email protected]. Enjoy!

#006 Well nothing new here, we dive deep into some key phrases people like to throw around as motivation and encouragement. The two sayings are "It's no one's responsibility to make you happy. Stop giving up your power by expecting someone or something to change your life." and " No one owes you anything. You are the leader of your own life. Work for what you want. That makes you the most powerful person you can be." We dive into the meaning of happiness and what it truly means to set priorities, expectations and boundaries. We want to know what you think, so feel free to reach out and let us know via instagram @thegenuinegals.

#005 We are diving into the world of selflessness this episode. What does it mean? Are there good sides to selfishness? And what is the true definition of humility? We go down some rabbit holes of things we are dealing with in life, currently, and we are interested on your take! Things like making plans, declining plans, texting etiquette with friends, obligations, making plans, breaking plans and priorities. It's all over the place, just like us, but we are here for it and love being vulnerable with you, so lets get into it together! Campbell, J., & Moyers, B. D. (1988). The power of myth. New York: Doubleday. Google for definition searches

#004 WOW! We really get into so many hot topics and it gets real - people pleasing, the agreeability spectrum, the hierarchy of needs, successful aging, desperate energy, and how we really need to self please rather than people please - to name a few. We talk about reality tv, romance books and getting old. This episode is truly how we converse and we are excited for you all to be apart of it! Book: Things We Never Got Over by Lucy Score Evidence for the sex distribution across different personality traits and how females tend to score higher in agreeableness: - Feingold, A. (1994). Gender differences in personality: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 116, 429-456. Hierarchy of needs: - Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370-396. People pleasing from low self-esteem and how to overcome: - Freeman, A. (1991). Overcoming low self-esteem: A self-help guide using cognitive-behavioral techniques. New York: HarperCollins. Successful aging: -Levitin, D. J. (2020). Successful aging: A neuroscientist explores the power and potential of our lives. New York, NY: Dutton. Study demonstrating that females have a more developed olfactory system. the female olfactory bulb is larger than the male olfactory bulb. This means that females have more olfactory receptors, which are cells that detect smells. This gives females a better sense of smell than males. Brennan, P. A., & Zufall, F. (2006). Sex differences in the olfactory system: implications for behavior and evolution. Hormones and Behavior, 49(3), 387-399. Vanderpump Rules

#003 We talk a lot about growth and this episode we focus on what that means to us, the research we have done on the topic, the Zone of Proximal Development, how we experience growth and proven ways to understand ourselves better. We get into the psychology behind journaling and understanding our emotions. What does all of it mean? We don't necessarily have the answer but we try our best to give direction.

#002 Today we get into truth telling, resilience, healing, practice makes perfect, exposure therapy and how you are the only one you can control. This truly is an episode that goes through a lot of topics like a friendly conversation. We really get into it and talk through some vulnerabilities we each have. We ask each other some hard questions and how that in some way this conversation helps you dig a little deeper into your own vulnerabilities and insecurities to find the root. We, by no means, have all the answers but we do know how to get into it...we hope you enjoy!

#001 Welcome to our first episode where we introduce ourselves, dive into the why behind the podcast, the explanation of the Yin & Yang significance and reflection on cultivating meaningful friendships with others who are both like minded and have opposing views to our own. In the discussion about the Yin & Yang symbol, Gail references Lao Tzu, L. E. (1997). Tao te ching (pp.vii-xix). Wordsworth. as well as Peterson, J. B. (2002). Maps of meaning: The architecture of belief. Routledge. Further on in the episode, Kami references the book she is reading, Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin, MD. For our website, click HERE. To connect with us on instagram, click HERE. To connect with Kami directly on instagram, click HERE. Gail does not have instagram, but feel free to interact with her via our Genuine Gals page.