The Long Obedience

Purchase the “What Is the Book of …?” OT Law & History Bundle and SAVE $20 when you use the code “BUNDLE” at checkout. Visit start2finish.org.Michael names the loneliness epidemic among men — fewer close friendships than at any point in history — and explores why it’s so hard: men are socialized to compete rather than connect, terrified of being seen as weak, and have no model for what deep friendship looks like. Looking at David and Jonathan and Jesus with his inner circle, he builds a picture of what real friendship involves: honesty, consistency, and mutual burden-bearing. The practical section walks through how to actually build this: start with who you already know, be the one who initiates, go first with vulnerability, commit to consistency, and let it be awkward at first. The stakes are high — men without friends are more likely to struggle with addiction, failing marriages, and faith that doesn’t survive crisis. The episode closes with a challenge to reach out to one man this week and take one step below the surface. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit start2finish.substack.com

Michael addresses the spiritual dryness almost every man experiences but few talk about — the seasons when you're doing all the right things and feeling absolutely nothing. Drawing on Psalm 42, Psalm 88, and Elijah's burnout in 1 Kings 19, he normalizes the experience and explores its causes: neglect, unconfessed sin, exhaustion, or a season of growth you can't see yet. The practical section focuses on what to do when your family still needs you to show up but you're running on fumes: stop expecting to feel something every time, change your rhythms without abandoning your convictions, tell someone, serve others, and preach truth to yourself. The episode closes with permission to lead your family honestly through a dry season rather than faking a faith you're not feeling. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit start2finish.substack.com

In this episode, I assert that conflict isn't the enemy of intimacy — avoidance is. Every fight you refuse to have, every hard conversation you sidestep, doesn't disappear; it goes underground and builds until something explodes. I name the ways men fight badly — stonewalling, defending instead of hearing, counterattacking, and fighting to win — and then walks through what healthy conflict actually looks like: slowing down, listening to understand, owning your part quickly, fighting for the relationship instead of victory, and repairing fast. The episode closes with the insight that most fights aren't really about what they seem to be about; underneath the surface issue is a deeper question about trust, presence, or worth. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit start2finish.substack.com

Building on Deuteronomy 6, I argue that faith is caught in the ordinary moments, not taught in the formal ones. Your kids are learning how to treat their future spouse by watching how you treat yours, learning how to handle failure by watching how you handle yours, and learning whether God is real by watching whether he’s real to you. I get practical about what this looks like: presence over performance, letting your kids see your faith in real time, asking better questions, and refusing to outsource discipleship to the church. The episode closes with hope for fathers who feel they’ve already blown it—it’s not too late to start being present, and it’s definitely not too late to apologize. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit start2finish.substack.com

In this episode, I name the three sins men rename and let fester—anger, lust, and pride—arguing that pride is the root beneath the other two. Anger becomes armor that keeps people at a distance; lust is almost never about sex but about escape; pride is the voice that says “I don't need help” and keeps men from being honest until it's too late. Drawing from my own failure to tell the truth when a friend asked how I was doing, I show how quiet sins grow in isolation and die in the light. The episode closes with a call to tell one person one true thing you’ve been hiding, because the wall you built to protect yourself is the same wall keeping out everyone who could help. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit start2finish.substack.com

I want to challenge the way most Christian men read Ephesians 5—eyes drawn to “wives, submit” while skipping the part where Paul tells husbands to die. Walking through John 13, I show how Jesus, fully secure in his identity and authority, got on his knees and washed the feet of men who were about to abandon him. Real leadership doesn’t need the title or the final say; if you can only lead from a position of authority, you’re not leading but managing your own insecurity. The episode gets practical about what servant leadership looks like beyond the sermon illustration: listening without fixing, initiating hard conversations, repenting quickly, putting the phone down, and taking spiritual initiative at home. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit start2finish.substack.com

In the pilot episode, I introduce myself as a divorced preacher who failed at the very thing I’m asking other men to pursue—and that honesty becomes the foundation for everything that follows. I argue that marriages and families don't usually fall apart from one catastrophic failure but from a thousand small surrenders, and I share three lessons learned from my own wreckage: (1) you can't lead your family from a spiritual place you haven’t been, (2) vulnerability is the doorway to every relationship that matters, and (3) faithfulness is not a feeling but a daily decision to keep walking in the same direction. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit start2finish.substack.com