The Spoonies Community

In this episode, Marcus and I share our miscarriage story. Trigger warning: miscarriage / pregnancy loss.We also talk about the years before that. The journey into whether we even wanted children, and how chronic pain, disability, trauma, and caregiving changes the whole conversation around parenthood.Then we share what about our pregnancy loss and what the miscarriage actually looked like for us. The scan, the limbo. Still feeling nauseous and exhausted while knowing the pregnancy isn’t viable. Then the waiting & the bleeding. The hospital. The D&C. And the grief that hit weeks later, when the world had already moved on.We talk about:deciding whether to have children when you live with chronic illness / chronic painmiscarriage and early pregnancy lossthe limbo after miscarriage (still having pregnancy symptoms)the physical reality: bleeding, clots, hospital care and D&Canxiety, panic and using nervous system tools in medical settingsdelayed grief, loneliness, and unhelpful commentshow partners can process pregnancy loss differentlyfear, closure, and trying again after miscarriageThis episode is for anyone who’s been through miscarriage or pregnancy loss, anyone trying to conceive after loss, and anyone navigating the question of having children while living with chronic illness.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning05:15 Moving to Ibiza and Changing Perspectives11:40 Concerns and Fears During Pregnancy19:33 The Limbo Period and Emotional Struggle26:12 The Physical Experience36:45 Recovery and Reflection42:25 Processing Grief and Coping Mechanisms47:40 Impact on Mental and Emotional HealthIf this resonates, I’d love for you to leave a review, share it with someone who needs it, or send me a DM on Instagram.

In this episode, I’m joined by Manouk de Bijl to talk about her ulcerative colitis healing story, from her first symptoms as a teenager to years of hospital visits, medication, pain, and being told it would be chronic.We talk about what it’s like to live with an invisible gut disease as a young woman, including the shame and fear that comes with symptoms you do not exactly bring up at a dinner table.Manouk shares how stress, survival mode, and trying to keep up with a demanding student life made everything worse, and why she reached a point where she knew she had to look beyond the path she was on.This is not a neat, polished “just do this and you’ll be fine” episode. It’s an honest conversation about what healing actually asked of her. Mindset, belief, nervous system regulation, food, emotional processing, and learning to trust her gut again, literally and emotionally.We also talk about remission, intuition, and the grief of realising the medical system never asked her how she did it, even when her test results showed no evidence of disease.If you’re living with ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s, chronic illness, gut issues, inflammation, or you’re stuck in the cycle of pushing through and crashing, I think this episode will land.Please find more of Manouk on:www.manoukdebijl.comor https://www.instagram.com/manoukdebijl/If this episode resonates, please leave a comment and I will get back to you asap!

In this episode, Marcus and I are talking about sex, intimacy, chronic pain and chronic illness. We’re having an honest conversation about how disability, pain, fatigue and body changes can affect intimacy, relationships and self-confidence.When you live with chronic illness or disability, intimacy can feel complicated. It can bring up insecurity, awkwardness, grief, fear, body image struggles and a lot of questions that people often don’t talk about out loud.In this episode, we share our own experience of navigating intimacy after my accidents, while living with CRPS, FND, chronic pain, spasms and fatigue. We talk about what changed for us, what felt hard, what helped, and why communication became such a big part of finding each other again, not just as patient and carer, but as partners.We talk about:sex and intimacy with chronic illnesshow chronic pain and disability can affect relationshipsthe impact of body changes on confidence and self-imagehow to talk to your partner about intimacywhy intimacy is about more than sexrebuilding trust, safety and connection in a relationshipThis episode is for people living with chronic illness, chronic pain or disability, and for partners who want to better understand how to navigate intimacy together.Chapters00:00 Introduction to the Topic05:30 Impact on Romanticism and Spontaneity11:18 Balancing Caregiver and Partner Roles17:00 Laughter and Lightheartedness22:24 Diverse Forms of Intimacy35:48 Exploring Different Forms of IntimacyIf this episode resonates, I’d love for you to leave a review, share it with someone who needs it, or send me a message on Instagram with your thoughts or questions. And if you’d like us to record a part 2 on this topic, let me know!

Eline & Marcus sit down for an honest (and sometimes hilarious) conversation about somatic work for chronic pain and illness — and why it's not as "woo-woo" as Marcus originally thought.If you've ever wondered why chronic pain won't go away even when doctors say there's nothing wrong, or how your body stores emotions and trauma... this episode is for you.We talk about:How your brain interprets pain signals (and why two people with the same injury can feel completely different levels of pain)Why emotions are your body's biggest "danger signal" — and what happens when you ignore them for too longThe difference between somatic work and therapy (and why bodywork matters just as much as talk therapy)What actually happens during a personalized somatic retreat in Ibiza (spoiler: it's not all breathwork and meditation — there's also really good food)How Marcus went from thinking psychologists were "voodoo" to understanding energy work, nervous system regulation, and why Eline sometimes shakes her hands like she's flicking water off themWhy your lower back pain might not be about your posture at allHow to support a partner doing deep healing work (even if you're not doing it yourself)This conversation gets real about burnout, chronic illness, the bucket of emotions we all carry, and why your body is way smarter than you think.If you've been stuck in chronic pain, fatigue, or illness for years and nothing's worked... this might be the missing piece.Want to learn more about somatic work or book a free 30-minute call about the retreat? DM me on Instagram @thespooniescommunity — I'd love to chat.Chapters:00:00 Introduction: Marcus learns what somatic work actually is08:04 The brain's response to pain and emotions12:02 Emotions as energy in motion13:42 Emotional release and chronic conditions19:03 Tapping into the wisdom of the body24:59 Integration and long-term impact of somatic work33:02 What happens during a personalized somatic retreat38:33 Connection with the universe (and why Marcus was skeptical)

Marcus & Eline delve into the challenges of navigating the loss of autonomy over your own body & life and the dynamics of care and independence within a relationship. It explores the impact on both Marcus and Eline and the adjustments made to manage these challenges effectively. The conversation delves into the dynamics of prioritizing a partner's needs and balancing responsibilities in a relationship. It also explores the challenges and emotional aspects of caring for a partner's physical needs, as well as the impact of financial and emotional support on the relationship.TakeawaysAutonomy and authority over one's body and finances can be challenging to navigate in a relationship - especially when there's physical needs involvedThe impact of caregiving on the carer's autonomy and well-being is significant. Prioritizing partner's needsBalancing responsibilitiesChapters00:00 Navigating Autonomy and Authority08:42 Recognizing the Need for Change19:38 Supporting the Caregiver25:23 Prioritizing Partner's Needs33:10 Challenges of Caregiving44:28 Financial and Emotional Struggles

Marcus & Eline dive into travelling as a wheelchair user! They discuss what is needed to travel comfortably, challenges, highlighting the need for careful planning and consideration. But it also explores the very positive impact of traveling on physical and mental well-being, as well as the process of overcoming fear and expanding horizons. The conversation delves into the intricacies of travel planning and stress management, highlighting the importance of booking assistance, embracing independence, and managing energy levels. It also explores the challenges of living with grief, adaptability, and accessibility, while emphasizing the significance of decision-making and the pursuit of comfort. Anyone feeling nervous but excited to take the leap? Definitely go and book your travels!TakeawaysTraveling with a disability requires careful planning and consideration, but it is VERY doable as well!Challenges you face when travelling with a wheelchair, but also how to overcome them in order to go and do itHow to properly prepare your Spoons for travelThe difference between us travelling 8 years ago versus nowChapters00:00 The Challenges of Traveling with a Disability11:01 Overcoming Fear and Expanding Horizons17:13 Travel Planning and Stress Management22:16 Navigating Challenges and Expectations29:21 Energy Management and Decision-Making

Amelia Peckham shares her journey from the accident that left her with a permanent disability to her recovery and rehabilitation. The conversation covers her life before the accident, the impact of the accident, the challenges of the first six months, and the motivation and support that helped her through. All of this led her to building her own company called Cool Crutches. She was determined that if walking on crutches would be the rest of her life, she would go do that with proper, ergonomically approved ones that wouldn't give her additional injuries.Further down in the conversation, she highlights the resilience and determination of individuals with disabilities. Amelia discusses the importance of finding a supportive community during her rehabilitation, the challenges she faced, and her journey of overcoming physical limitations while advocating for better equipment and support for individuals with chronic illness and disabilities. TakeawaysResilienceCommunity supportThe Start of Cool CrutchesRehabilitation challenges Managing energy and prioritizing tasksResilience and adaptability in entrepreneurshipChapters00:00 Finding Inspiration in Others' Stories22:15 Finding Community Support in Physiotherapy33:09 The Journey of Rehabilitation Challenges39:50 Challenges of Living with a Chronic Illness45:02 Acceptance and Quality of Life51:07 Setting Future Goals and IntentionsWhere can you find Amelia?@[email protected] discount code "SPOONIES" to get 10% of your order on Cool Crutches!

Marcus & Eline delve into the origin of the Spoonies community, the concept of the Spoon Theory, and the creation of a safe and supportive space for individuals living with chronic illness. It explores the impact of the Spoon Theory, the need for a supportive community, and the various components of the Spoonies community, including support, connection, learning, and resources. The conversation covers the exclusive community model of Eline, emphasizing safety and commitment, as well as the global nature of the community and plans for in-person events. TakeawaysSpoonies: Understanding the Spoon TheoryCreating a Safe and Supportive Community Exclusive community modelCommunity safety and commitmentGlobal community and in-person eventsChapters00:00 Introduction and Setting the Scene08:05 The Creation of the Spoonies Community21:42 Exclusive Community Model27:12 Global Community and In-Person Events

Eline & Marcus delve into the journey of chronic illness, exploring emotional healing, somatic work, grief, joy, independence, alternative healing, identity, community support, professional growth, and spiritual awakening. It highlights the transformative power of somatic work and the journey to independence, offering hope and inspiration to those facing similar challenges (speaking from Eline's own experience after 2 accidents)TakeawaysSomatic work transformationJourney to independenceChapters00:00 Introduction to Chronic Illness Journey05:46 Emotional Healing and Acceptance12:02 Seeking Independence and Space17:52 Pilates and Identity Journey23:58 Transition to Spain and Professional Growth

The podcast episode continues on where Eline & Marcus left off: right at the second accident. Eline & Marcus delve into the experiences of living with chronic illness, reflecting on past challenges, navigating through hospitalization, new diagnosis and treatment, the impact on daily life, challenges with recovery, taking control of the situation, and finally the way into a new direction towards acceptance. The conversation provides insights into the complexities and resilience required to navigate life with chronic illness. Eline & Marcus cover the challenges of balancing work and caregiving, the journey of recovery and rehabilitation, the theme of acceptance and a new direction, and the pursuit of personal growth in the face of hardship.TakeawaysLiving with chronic illnessNavigating life with chronic illnessSupportive work environment for the caregiverChallenges of caregivingNew directions in the face of hardshipChapters00:00 Introduction to Chronic Illness06:13 Second Accident and Hospitalization13:02 Impact on Daily Life21:27 Taking Control of the Situation28:32 Recovery and Rehabilitation42:22 Seeking Personal Growth

The podcast episode delves into the personal journey of Eline, living with chronic pain and illness, covering the challenges, setbacks, and moments of progress. It explores the impact of the accident, hospitalization, surgery, recovery, and the pursuit of a diagnosis. The narrative also touches on the emotional and physical toll of the journey, as well as the resilience and hope for a better future.TakeawaysLiving with chronic pain and illnessNavigating the challenges of chronic pain and recoveryChapters00:00 Introduction to Chronic Illness Journey06:12 Hospitalization and Surgery13:17 Rehabilitation and Progress19:08 Engagement and New Beginnings39:26 Return to Rehabilitation and Massive Setback