Transformation Cafe

This week host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost welcome Joyce Sportsman and Darwin Bosen, co-founders of Trauma Recovery Yoga.Established in 2016, TRY is a team of trauma-informed yoga teachers who are dispatched to service individuals who have experienced trauma or are living in crisis. Trauma informed yoga incorporates a series of meditation, strengthening postures, and breathing which magnify the mind-body-spirit connection after the experience of trauma.The effects of traumaTrauma is emotional shock that follows a deeply distressing or disturbing incident such as: war, crime, accident, assault, or natural disaster. While shock and denial tend to immediately follow a traumatic event, its long-term effects can include: unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships (due to anxiety, depression, and/or isolation), and a number of stress-related physical symptoms. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, founder of the Trauma Center in Brookline, Mass., and a clinical psychiatrist specializing in post-traumatic stress, calls these physical symptoms “issues in our tissues.” Unresolved emotional trauma can manifest in the body as migraines, nervous ticks, clenched shoulders/neck/jaw, a sunken chest, and/or a heavy heart.Trauma-sensitive yogaIn recovering from emotional trauma, the American Psychological Association suggests to “engage in healthy behaviors to enhance your ability to cope with excessive stress.” In addition to proper rest, nutrition, and the avoidance of drugs and alcohol, the APA suggests using relaxation techniques.However, given the effects of trauma, we can understand why relaxation might not come easily to those suffering from PTSD. This is where trauma-sensitive yoga comes in. Dr. van der Kolk explains that, with the proper approach, yoga can greatly benefit trauma survivors: “Yoga really attends to the body and the breath, attends to stillness. It allows you to feel everything you feel, to tolerate every sensation, and to live and move with it.” – Healing Trauma and PTSD Through YogaHow Yoga HealsIn the interview, Joyce and Darwin talk about the importance of reconnecting the mind and body after a traumatic event, and research backs this up."A three-year NIH-funded yoga and trauma study conducted at the Trauma Center at Justice Resource Institute in Brookline, Massachusetts, with women who have treatment-resistant complex PTSD, has shown promising results. Bessel van der Kolk, MD, the study’s principal investigator, and his colleagues presented preliminary findings at the 2010 International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies conference in Montreal last November. Initial study results revealed that participation in trauma-informed gentle yoga leads to a significant reduction (over 30 percent) in symptoms of post-traumatic stress, including fewer intrusive thoughts and less dissociation from the body. By the end of the study (after only 10 weeks of yoga) several women in the yoga group no longer met diagnostic criteria for PTSD." – Transcending Trauma: How Yoga HealsBREATH IS PRESENCEIn the video below, Joyce shares how the loss of her 22-year-old son Jake inspired her to bring her yoga work to individuals dealing with trauma. Contact Information:Trauma Recover Yoga (TRY) website:http://www.traumarecoveryyoga.org/TRY Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Traumarecoveryyoga/

In this episode host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss the next selection in our Cafe Book Club: The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abbrams.The book explores how to live a more joyous life and is broken down into the "Eight Pillars": Perspectives, Humility, Humor, Acceptance, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Compassion, and Generosity. This is one of a hundred or so (!) books  that the Dalai Lama has authored or lent his name to, and the first one with Archbishop Tutu."Happy, not only just on the physical level, but mentally.  Peace. Compassion. That's the real joy." – Dalai Lama The video below appeared on CBS Sunday Morning in the U.S.Robin and Amy discuss how the book is organized, and their plans to cover each of the "Eight Pillars".The Eight Pillars of Joy:Perspectives: There are many different anglesHumility: I try to look humble and modestHumor: Laughter, joking is much betterAcceptance: The only place where change can beginForgiveness: Freeing ourselves from the pastGratitude: I am fortunate to be aliveCompassion: Something we want to becomeGenerosity: We are filled with joyJoin us as we cover this amazing book! We will be starting February 21st, and continuing through the end of April.

In this week's podcast, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost talk with Kelley Guidry, co-founder of Forgotten Not Gone, a Las Vegas-based organization that provides much needed help to veterans suffering from depression, isolation, and other emotional and physical issues.The Mission Of Forgotten Not GoneThe mission of Forgotten Not Gone is to get suffering veterans physically active and interacting with society. They are a 501(C)(3) organization dedicated to helping veterans and their families through emotional, physical, and spiritual activities.Veterans are encouraged to re-engage with society instead of living in isolation. Too many veterans go within, shutting off the outside world until it is too late. According to Veterans Administration research, 20 veterans take their own lives each day in America."People don't die from suicide. Sadness kills them."Physical activity is one of the surest ways to help veterans get back into an active social life. Based on doctor's recommendations, the group uses recumbent bikes. "The challenge with most veterans is that we have mobility issues. So our balance may be off, so a regular bike is not really going to work for us.  Or we may have back troubles like like my husband, and he has bi-lateral knee damage. This bike is specifically designed to get you out of the house when you normally wouldn't be able to ride a regular bike. It's specifically designed for rehabilitation."Peter Guidry, co-founder of Forgotten Not Gone, knows the struggle first-hand and how much this organization aids veterans. Guidry says, "I feel like I'm serving this country again, but I no longer have to be violent to do so."Kelley explains that the name "Forgotten Not Gone" refers to our Vietnam-era veterans. Once the war ended, Vietnam vets came home to hostility, name-calling, and rejection. They did not receive the kind of respect and support that they deserved. They are still here; forgotten, but not gone.Suicide Prevention and safeTALKIn the podcast Amy and Kelley mention safeTALK, which is built around the four TALK steps: Tell, Ask, Listen, and KeepSafe. Each year, safeTALK prepares over 60,000 people to ask: “Are you thinking about suicide?”Check out this video from LivingWorks.net, a world-wide leader in suicide prevention training, that gives an overview of safeTALK. Check their website for training available in your area.Below is another video that describes the importance of safeTALK from the perspective of a hockey team.We encourage you to visit Forgotten Not Gone and other organizations and lend your support. You can learn more about their mission, purchase a Forgotten Not Gone t-shirt, join in on a ride, and donate to their organization.

This week we have a very special guest on our program. Randy Dexter served in the US Army as a combat medic. He deployed to Iraq twice. As a result of the trauma that he dealt with there, he developed severe Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), major depressive disorder, traumatic brain injury, migraines, and other issues. He spent over a year in the Naval Hospital as a result of his injuries.He was on the brink of suicide.Randy told his doctor at the Naval Hospital about his suicidal thoughts. His doctor suggested he enroll in a program called "K9 Inspired Community Reintegration". It is partnered with a non-profit organization in San Diego called "Paws'itive Teams". The organization shows veterans what it would be like to have their own service dog to see if they could benefit.Randy meets RicochetAs a result of the six-week program and his interaction with a golden retriever named "Ricochet", Randy was finally able to start talking about his experiences and what he was dealing with to his wife, and to others outside the hospital setting. He realized that this could benefit others in his situation, so Randy and Judy Fridono, Ricochet's handler, started the "PTSD Battle Buddies Initiative".Randy and RicochetRicochet and the organization do a lot of fund raising, and as a result, were able to raise $10,000 for Randy to get his own service dog.Randy flew to Florida to visit K9's for Warriors and met Captain for the first time.The video below gives you some idea of the deep bond that Randy and Captain developed.Military Veteran and K9s For Warriors graduate, Randy writes a letter to his service dog Captain. As of today this video has been seen nearly 250,000 times.Randy is going into his senior year as a Communications Studies major at University of Nevada, Las Vegas, carrying a 3.7 GPA. He is President of the "Rebel Vets" Student Veteran's Organization. He continues to share his story in an effort to help others learn about the benefit of service dogs, and hopefully save lives.Randy's story appeared in Barkpost in an article titled "When a Veteran Needed Redemption, He Turned to This Incredible Dog".Service Dog ResourcesAssistance Dogs International – Assistance Dogs International (ADI) is a coalition of not for profit assistance dog organizations. ADI has regional chapters in Europe, North America, and Australia/New Zealand.K9s for Warriors – K9s For Warriors is dedicated to providing service canines to our Warriors suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Disability, traumatic brain injury and/or military sexual trauma as a result of military service post-9/11.Freedom Service Dogs of America – Freedom Service Dogs enhances the lives of people with disabilities by rescuing dogs and custom training them for individual needs. They are an accredited member of ADI.Canine Companions for Independence – For over 40 years, Canine Companions for Independence has been enhancing the lives of people with disabilities by training a...

In this podcast we wrap up our discussion of Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, and welcome back our nutritional guru Catie Fitzgerald to talk about food and how it relates to codependency. Catie also describes her new program for 2017.Chapter 20 – Learning to Live and Love Again At the Same TimeThis chapter reviews summarizes the main concepts from the book."At least I don't run around actively seeking my own demise anymore". – Anonymous Alanon MemberGetting started:In a nutshell, she uses the HOW method:H – Honesty – get honestO – Openness – keep an open mindW – Willingness – become willing to try new thingsWe need to learn to really see ourselves and our motives. Melodie says to pick one behavior to work on at a time. Work on one, then get busy on another. Chapter four can help with this. Time to light a fire under ourselves.Ways to get our needs met:* detachment* don’t rescue people* be direct* pay attention to ourselves* work a 12 step program* become “undependent”* seek and build healthy relationships* don’t maintain painful relationships* set goals and reach them* know growth is uncomfortable but worth it* have fun* balance emotional, physical and spiritual needs* let go of grief* balance giving and receiving* balance between letting go and doing our part* balance problem solving and living with unsolved problems* let go of unrealistic expectations (most of them)* remember we are important, valuable and deserve a decent lifeI am responsible for my choices and behaviors in initiating, maintaining, and discontinuing relationships as appropriate.Growing Forward:* Its okay to backtrack a bit* Face tough decisions about relationships* Be patient when rebuilding damaged relationships—Love and trust heal on their own time. Sometimes they can’t heal.* Find new friends.* Work on ourselves and learn what needs to be learned.* Strive toward goals.* Have fun.* Trust God (or your higher power) and ask for guidance* Love from strength not weaknesses.* When we fall, get up and start again."Getting our balance and keeping it once we have found it is what recovery is all about. If that sounds like a big order, don't worry. We can do it. We can learn to love again. We can even learn to have fun at the same time".Catie Fitzgerald – A Different Perspective on FoodCatie is launching her Health Quest 2017 through Enhanced Nutrition Solutions. This program gives you seven days of concentrated things to do, then after those seven days you practice on your own. The following month you get another seven days of concentrated things to do, and the cycle continues.Catie's last episode: TC327: Making Food Your Friend for the Holidays.

In this week's Cafe Book Club, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss chapters 15 – 19 of Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself and the companion Codependent No More Workbook by Melody Beattie.Chapter 15 – "Yes You Can Think"In codependence, many of us don't trust our minds. We truly understand the horror of indecision. The small choices such as what to order at a restaurant or what bottle of bleach to purchase paralyzes us. Big choices like what to do with our lives or who to live with or how to solve our problems can be overwhelming.We must think, figure things out, decide what we need and want and decide how to solve our own problems.Our ability to think may be clouded by lies we have believed, told to us or by ourselves (denial), chaos, stress, low self-esteem and repressed emotions.Over-reacting can be spurred by wrongly thinking we must hurry or we must be perfect and by worrying about what others think.“Should’s,” self-deprecating thoughts, low self-esteem and self-hatred can also make it hard to make decisions.Not listening to what we want and need or telling ourselves what we want is wrong stops us from seeing informational tools to make choices and decisions. Things to help us gain mental confidence:* Trust our minds to peace – get quiet before you make a decision. Maybe now is not the time to make a decision.* Ask God to help you think* Quit abusing your mind – worry and obsessing is mental abuse – stop it* Feed your mind – research choices* Feed your mind healthy thoughts – read and think positive thoughts* Stretch your mind – learn, read, take a class* Stop saying negative things about your mind – say positive things and they will come true* Use your mind – create, form opinions, make decisions (also let others use their mind)Chapter 16 “Set Your Own Goals”Learning How to Set Goals* Turn everything into a goal* Make solving a problem or making a decision into a goal* Make getting what you want or need into a goal* Omit the shoulds* Don’t limit yourself* Write goals on paper* Commit written goals to God* Let go – don’t obsess or worry* Do what you can, one day at a time* Follow your gut or desire* Set goals regularly and as needed* Check off reached goals* Celebrate and thank God for reached goals* Be patientChapter 17 "Communication"Many Codependents:* manipulate* are people pleasers* are controlling* cover things up* assign/use guilt or try to alleviate guilt* repress feelings and thoughts* have ulterior motives* have low self-esteem or self-worth and feel a lot of shame* react inappropriately* allow abuse and use badgering as a tool* justify, rationalize, compensate and threatenCodependent communication is indirect and not forthright, regardless of intention.Fear of rejection fuels our inability to say who we are and what we want or need or allow others to do the same.The words we speak reflect who we are. If we don’t love or trust our thoughts, feelings or wants and feel we are not worthy, we will judge others and expect them to have all the answers. We will control others to ensure they are “pleased” and force things to happen because that is all we have.To speak openly and honestly is fun!* Who we are is okay.* Our feelings and wants are okay.* Our opinions count.

In this episode host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost take a look back at 2016. Below is a list of the programs that you may want to listen to again or review if you missed them the first time. We did about fifty shows in 2016; here are some of our favorites.Setting Your IntentionTC 283 – Letters To My Future Self – In this episode we talked about writing a letter to yourself in the future, inspired by the "Letters To My Future Self" diary. It contains writing prompts such as "where do I want to go", "all the things I'd like to try someday", "I promise myself to", "I never want to forget this", and other topics for self-reflection. You date the letter to be opened at whatever future date you specify, a year or two in the future. Then when that day arrives, you open the letter and can see how far you've come.Being a Lifelong SeekerTC 285:  On Being a Lifelong Seeker – In this episode we talked about how we are each lifelong seekers of wisdom, knowledge, spirituality, and other aspects of becoming a complete person. As Amy observes in tonight's episode, that is who we are, and who we believe our core audience to be. We don't have "a path", or claim that we have "the answer". Our goal is to present great books, amazing speakers, and introduce anyone who is interested to new information that we've discovered, and share our thoughts about what we've learned. We invite you to dialogue with us so we can learn from each other as we continue on our journey.Cafe Book Club presented Presence by Amy CuddyThe series on Presence ran from the end of January through March, so there are a number of really great episodes. Links to each episode are provided below.TC 286: Cafe Book Club – Presence by Amy Cuddy – In this episode we kicked off the second book in our Cafe Book Club series: Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges by Amy Cuddy, PhD, Social Psychologist and Associate Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School.TC 287: Cafe Book Club – Presence by Amy Cuddy  Part 2 – In this episode we discussed chapter 2 of Presence: “Believing and Owning Your Story”.TC 288: Presence Part 3 – How Presence Begets Presence – This chapter is titled “Stop Preaching, Start Listening: How Presence Begets Presence”. It features a very moving story of how a group of pastors were able to address very serious problems of gang violence by being fully present.TC 289: Presence Part 4: I Don't Deserve To Be Here – In this chap...

In this week's Cafe Book Club, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss chapters 10 -14 of  Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself and the companion Codependent No More Workbook by Melody Beattie. This is the second part on the Basics of Self Care.Chapter 10 – Live Your Own LifeMelody says in Chapter 10: "The surest way to make ourselves crazy is to get involved in other people's business, and the quickest way to become sane and happy is to tend to our own affairs."Giving ourselves what we need is not difficult. I believe we can learn quickly. The formula is simple: In any given situation, detach and ask, "What do I need to do to take care of myself?"Activity* As you go through the days ahead, stop and ask yourself what you need to do to take care of yourself. Do it as often as you need to, but do it at least once daily. If you are going through a crisis, you may need to do it every hour. Then give yourself what you need.* What do you need from people around you? At an appropriate time, sit down with them and discuss what you need from them.Chapter 11 – Have a Love Affair with Yourself"We can cherish ourselves and our lives. We can nurture ourselves and love ourselves. We can accept our wonderful selves, with all our faults, foibles, strong points, weak points, feelings, thoughts, and everything else. It's the best thing we've got going for us. It's who we are, and who we were meant to be. And it's not a mistake. We are the greatest thing that will ever happen to us. Believe it. It makes life much easier."ActivityHow do you feel about yourself? Write about it. Include the things you like or don't like about yourself. Reread what you have written. Click the images below to order your copy of the book and workbook.Cafe Book Club ScheduleYou can join us live Tuesdays at 8 PM PST by calling 646-727-3206.December 6: Part 1 : What's Codependency, and Who's Got It?  which covers chapters 1 – 4 of Codependent No More. Workbook Lesson 3 chap 3; Workbook Lesson 5 chap 4December 13: Part 2: The Basics of Self-Care – chapters 5-9; Workbook Lesson 4 chap 7December 20: Part 2 – The Basics of Self-Care Part 2 – Chapters 10-14; Workbook Lesson 3 chap 12; Workbook Lesson 6 chap 10December 27: Dark – no show this weekJanuary 2: Part 2 Chapters 15-20; Workbook Lesson 7 chap 17; Workbook Lesson 8 chap 20; Workbook Lesson 9 chap 18January 10: Interview with Catie Fitzgerald on Nutrition and CodependenceInformation about Melody:Melody Beattie is one of America’s most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles.  Her international bestselling book,

In this week's Cafe Book Club, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss chapters 5 – 9 of  Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself and the companion Codependent No More Workbook by Melody Beattie. These chapters focus on the Basics of Self Care.Chapter 5: DetachmentIn Chapter 5, Melody Beattie describes detachment as an underlying concept. "It is something we need to do frequently, as we strive to live happy lives. It is the goal of most recovery programs for codependents. And, it is something we must do first –before we can do the other things we need to do. We cannot begin to work on ourselves, to live our own lives, feel our own feelings, and solve our own problems until we have detached from the object of our obsession. From my experiences (and those of others), it appears that even our Higher Power can't do much with us until we have detached."It (detachment) is not detaching from the person whom we care about, but from the agony of involvement. –AL-ANON MemberDetachment involves "present moment living" – living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it. We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day.Detachment also involves accepting reality–the facts. It requires faith–in ourselves, in God, in other people, and in the natural order and destiny of things in this world.Detachment does not mean we don't care. It means we learn to love, care, and be involved without going crazy. We stop creating all this chaos in our minds and environments. When we are not anxiously and compulsively thrashing about, we become able to make good decisions about how to love people, and how to solve our problems. We become free to care and love in ways that help others and don't hurt ourselves.Chapter 6: Don't Be Blown About by Every WindMost codependents are reactionaries. We react with anger, guilt, shame, self-hate, worry, hurt, controlling gestures, caretaking acts, depression, desperation and fury. We react with fear and anxiety.When we react we forfeit our personal, God-given power to think, feel, and behave in our best interests.We react because we're anxious and afraid of what has happened, what might happen, and what is happening.We don't have to behave this wayWe don't have to be so afraid of people. They are people like us.We don't have to forfeit our peace. It doesn't help.We don't have to forfeit our power to think and feel for anyone or anything. That is also not required of us.We don't have to take things so seriously (ourselves, events, and other people). We don't have to take things so personally. Melody offers suggestions in Chapter 6 to help you detach from people and your destructive reactions to them. Refer to pages 70 – 72 in the book to find out what she suggests. 

In this week's Cafe Book Club, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost and Amy's friend Joan discuss chapters 1 – 4 of  Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself and the companion Codependent No More Workbook by Melody Beattie. Quote from Chapter 3:Relationships are like a dance, with visible energy racing back and forth between the partners. Some relationships are the slow, dark dance of death. — Colette DowlingWhat is Codependency?In an article from the book Co-Dependency, An Emerging Issue, Robert Subby wrote codependency is "an emotional, psychological, and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individual's prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules–rules which prevent the open expression of feeling as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems."Melody Beattie defines codependent as: "A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.""The other person might be a child, an adult, a lover, a spouse, a brother, a sister, a grandparent, a parent, a client, or a best friend. He or she can be a drug addict, a mentally or physically ill person, a normal person who occasionally has sad feelings, or one of the people mentioned earlier.""But, the heart of the definition and recovery lies not in the other person–no matter how much we believe it does. It lies in ourselves, in the ways we have let other people's behavior affect us and in the ways we try to affect them: the obsessing, the controlling, the obsessive "helping", caretaking, low self-worth bordering on self-hatred, self-repression, abundance of anger and guilt. . . attraction to and tolerance for the bizarre, other-centeredness that results in abandonment of self, communication problems, intimacy problems, and on ongoing whirlwind trip through the five-stage grief process."  Cafe Book Club ScheduleYou can join us live Tuesdays at 8 PM PST by calling 646-727-3206.December 6: Part 1 : What's Codependency, and Who's Got It?  which covers chapters 1 – 4 of Codependent No More. Workbook Lesson 3 chap 3; Workbook Lesson 5 chap 4December 13: Part 2: Chapters 5-9; Workbook Lesson 4 chap 7; Workbook Lesson 10 chap 8December 20: Part 2 – Chapters 10-14; Workbook Lesson 3 chap 12; Workbook Lesson 6 chap 10December 27: Dark – no show this weekJanuary 2: Part 2 Chapters 15-20; Workbook Lesson 7 chap 17; Workbook Lesson 8 chap 20; Workbook Lesson 9 chap 18Information about Melody:Melody Beattie is one of America’s most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles.  Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More, introduced the world to the term “codependency” i...

This week host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss Melody Beattie's ground-breaking book Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself and the companion Codependent No More Workbook. 2016 marks the 30th anniversary of the book, and to date more than 8 million copies have been sold, 6 million in the US. This will be the next book in our Cafe Book Club series.According to Melody, codependency is the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another, often while struggling with a loved one's self-destructive behavior."Codependents need boundaries. We need to set limits on what we shall do to and for people".The key principles of the book continue to resonate: Knowing when to say no and when to say yes. Taking responsibility for your choices. Setting boundaries. Learning to let go.  Forgiveness after feeling your feelings–not before. Self-expression. Loving others but loving yourself too. Cafe Book Club ScheduleYou can join us live Tuesdays at 8 PM PST by calling 646-727-3206.December 6: Part 1 : What's Codependency, and Who's Got It?  which covers chapters 1 – 4 of Codependent No More. Workbook Lesson 3 chap 3; Workbook Lesson 5 chap 4December 13: Part 2: Chapters 5-9; Workbook Lesson 4 chap 7; Workbook Lesson 10 chap 8December 20: Part 2 – Chapters 10-14; Workbook Lesson 3 chap 12; Workbook Lesson 6 chap 10December 27: Dark – no show this weekJanuary 2: Part 2 Chapters 15-20; Workbook Lesson 7 chap 17; Workbook Lesson 8 chap 20; Workbook Lesson 9 chap 18Information about Melody:Melody Beattie is one of America’s most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles.  Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More,introduced the world to the term “codependency” in 1986.  Millions of readers have trusted Melody’s words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they’re going through. In her lifetime, she has survived abandonment, kidnapping, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, and the death of a child.

In this week's podcast we welcome Debbie Carreon to discuss how some fitness clubs are changing from some place just to exercise, to a place where you can develop friendships and build a sense of community.Strengthening Community TiesBeyond just the desire to look good and be fit, the issue that’s becoming increasingly important, especially as our population ages, is community. Social isolation is a serious issue, and can lead to many health-related problems that have a wide-reaching effect. One reason people join a fitness facility is to feel they are part of a social network. In addition to having a fun place to meet people, members are engaging in healthy activities.The relationship between personal trainers and clients becomes even more important as clients enter their golden years. Some clubs mix young, energetic trainers with older clients; it is good for both parties. It’s equally important to have older people on staff to reflect how everyone at every age contributes to a sense of belonging. An older workforce brings wisdom and fosters mentorship, which strengthens community.The Happiness QuotientUltimately, people want to be happy. In most cases, a buying decision is rooted in the desire for happiness, whether the purchase is a vacation, a new car, a better house or new shoes; the underlying motivation for spending money is happiness. When someone is considering buying a membership or personal training package, she is imagining a healthier body. Why have a healthier body? To be happier and more satisfied with life. A healthy body is important to overall happiness and peace of mind. It’s hard to be happy when the thought of clothes shopping causes despair or when you’re in constant pain and discomfort. Some people even fear pursuing happiness because they believe the pursuit is selfish, impossible or both.Trainers that understand this fear and the desire for happiness have empathy for customers and support them on their journeys to health and happiness. This desire for happiness is not only a possibility; it’s a necessity for a fulfilling life! Happy people create more happiness.Guest: Debbie Carreon, General Manager 24 Hour Fitness

On this week's show we welcome back Mikki Wade, a pastor and certified grief recovery practitioner. Mikki describes what grief is, describes the signs to look for in yourself and others, and discusses some of the common myths associated with grief.According to John W. James and Russell Friedman, "Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change of a familiar pattern of behavior."Grief can be the result of any change, positive or negative. It can be triggered by death of a loved one, divorce, loss of health, loss of a job, financial issues, abuse, and many other events. It can also be triggered by positive changes like getting a new job and moving to a new city.Updated to commemorate its 20th anniversary, the Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman further explores the effects of grief and sheds new light on how to begin to take effective actions to complete the grieving process and work towards recovery and happiness.Common responses to grief:Reduced concentration – you may go the the kitchen and then forget why you went thereA sense of numbness – physically, emotionally, or bothDisturbed sleep patterns – not being able to sleep or sleeping too much, or both alternatelyChange in eating habits – grievers may have no appetite or may eat nonstop, or both alternatelyRoller coaster of emotional energy – emotional highs and lows that can be emotionally and physically drainingThese are all normal and natural responses to loss. Their duration is unique to every individual. They are not stages and they do not always occur. Do not allow anyone to create time frames or stages for you.Trying to overcome grief with your head is like trying to paint a room with a hammer. Good luck with that.Myths about grief:The following are common ways we're told to get over grief, either directly or modeled by the behavior of others. They are labeled "myths" because these methods are no more effective than treating a gushing wound to the body by "just getting over it" would be.Don't feel bad – don't cry, just get over it, etc. Trying to suppress your natural reaction to loss won't make things better.Replace the loss – replace the loss with food, or a substitute for what or who you've lost. Daughter: "My dog died!" Dad: "Don't cry, we'll buy you another dog on Saturday".Grieve alone – don't cry in front of others. "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone". We're told to hide our feelings and not bother others.Just give it time – "Time heals all wounds". No it doesn't. Actions taken over time heals the wound.Be strong for others – We say "I'm fine" when asked how we are, even if we're not fine. We perpetuate the lie and act like there is nothing wrong.Keep busy – being busy will keep your mind off your loss, and you'll eventually get over it. Again, this doesn't work.A griever needs to be listened to, not fixed.About Mikki WadeMikki Wade is the founder and CEO of

In this timely episode of the Transformation Cafe podcast, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost welcome Mickey Wade, a grief recovery specialist and life coach. This show was recorded on November 8 – Election Night in the U.S.Amy observes that whatever happens with the U.S. election, nearly 50% of the population is going to be unhappy. The night of the election as people began to realize the outcome, some people were happy and excited, and others were shocked and depressed. The only thing that is certain is that the future is uncertain. Change is hard, and even positive change can cause uneasiness and anxiety.Since the election there has been protests in major U.S. cities: Los Angeles; New Haven, Connecticut; Orlando; Chicago; Boston; Asheville, North Carolina; Nashville; and Columbus, Ohio, and there were marches at schools in Denver and Omaha, Nebraska. Groups across the country are angry about policies Trump has promised to enforce concerning immigration, the environment, LGBT rights and other issues.Some people are trying to stay positive and keep an open mind, where others are struggling to cope with the new reality. It is perfectly natural to feel sad, depressed, angry, fearful, and a host of other emotions. These are all symptoms of grief, and now about half of the country is experiencing some form of it.Dealing with Post-Election AnxietyCosmopolitan magazine has a great article called 14 Effective Ways to Deal with Post-Election Anxiety.  “Feeling out of control can cause symptoms of fear, depression, and anxiety,” says Dr. Jennifer Caudle, DO, family physician, assistant professor at Rowan University School of Osteopathic Medicine, who's counseled scores of patients suffering from stress and anxiety.The transitional period between administrations only worsens the situation. “Uncertainty almost always increases anxiety, so it's totally normal to feel anxious after an election,” says Dr. Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a Manhattan-based psychologist. “Even if you're pleased with the chosen candidate, you still don't know exactly what life will be like with the changes ahead.”Another good article from PositivelyPresent.com includes a section on 4 Ways to Accept What Is (Even When It's Sad).Amy recommends reading "A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama's Vision for Our World" by Daniel Goleman.“Far from being a self-help book, this examines specific ideas espoused by the Dalai Lama, such as emotional hygiene, compassionate economy, and education of the heart that can make the world a better place. An optimistic and thoughtful primer with practical applications.”—BooklistMaybe so, Maybe not. We’ll see.There is a Chinese Proverb that goes something like this…A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

This week host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost welcome Catie Fitzgerald to discuss eating guilt-free for the holidays, how foods can help you feel calmer, have more energy, and even boost you immune system. Catie will share ways to modify recipes so they are not only have fewer calories, and are better for you, but are also more flavorful.Catie is a former professional figure skater and ballet dancer, and has had a passion for personal health and fitness from an early age. At age 16 Catie's mother lost a battle with cancer, which made her want to learn more about what we can do to help our bodies to be healthy and prevent disease. Catie will be completing a Master's degree in Holistic Nutrition in the next few months.What is an optimal diet?An optimal diet really starts with whole foods; foods that come in the package that mother nature provided. It also focuses on organic foods because they are exposed to fewer synthetic pesticides and herbicides, which reduces the overall toxin burden on our body. These toxins are known to cause cancer and other diseases in increase aging.Organic foods are expensive. What if I can't afford to buy all organic?If buying all organic foods is not within your budget, the Environmental Working Group (EWG) recommends that you at least buy "The Dirty Dozen", which have the highest amount of residual pesticides and herbicides present on their surface or within their flesh. Strawberries and apples are at the top of the list. See the Resources section below for links to additional articles.Eat SeasonallyAnother tip is to eat seasonally. Seasonal foods are those foods that are at their peak during that time of year. Here's a link to a Seasonal Food Guide for the United States. Just select your state and choose the month or produce to see when it is is season. There's also a Seasonality Table from the BBC that includes fruit, vegetables, meat and game, and fish and seafood. We've also included another link in the Resources section.Eat Locally Grown Food"Locally grown" refers to food and other agricultural products (for example, wool or flowers) that are grown or produced, processed and then sold within a certain area. However, there's no standard definition of "local," and so businesses touting their "locally grown products" may be using very different definitions. A distance of 100 miles is generally accepted as "local", but some stores will say it's local if it's grown in the same state.The advantage of eating locally is that the food did not have to be packed and trucked long distances before it gets to you, which diminishes its nutritional value. Also supporting local growers has an impact on the economy of the area in which you live. Makes sense to me.Four Ways Food Can Be Your FriendFoods can help keep you immune system strong – eat foods high in vitamin A, C, and E. Zinc is useful to help prevent colds.Food can help provide the additional energy required to get through the long busy days that the holiday...

In this episode of the Transformation Cafe podcast, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost talk about making the most out of the holiday season, and offer some ideas on how you can make them more meaningful.Here are just a few of the great tips from the article 25 Ways to Fight Holiday Stress from Health.com.Hike your mood with sunlightIt stimulates the production of feel-good serotonin and also helps relieve seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which impacts millions of Americans every year, says Judith Orloff, MD, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles.To ease SAD symptoms, spend time outdoors or near a window on sunny days, or ask your doc about phototherapy (a treatment using a box that emits full-spectrum light).Walk away from worriesWalking has a tranquilizing effect on your brain, it decreases anxiety and improves your sleep.Do less, enjoy moreinstead of going overboard trying to please others during the holidays and attending every event, take care of yourself and say "no" to at least once, maybe more.Forget perfectionStop obsessing over doing it all. The world is not going to end if the house is a little cluttered or dinner is on the table a few minutes late.Eat breakfast before you tank up on coffeeCaffeine on an empty stomach can cause blood sugar levels to spike, which can cause attention problems and irritability.Don't overscheduleIf you're feeling stressed and overwhelmed by your holiday agenda, don't over schedule your time and take on more than you can manage. Remember: It's OK to slow down a bit.Next week we'll continue our discussion on stress-free holidays. Our guest will be Katie Fitzgerald, and she'll help us learn how to eat food that loves us back!

In this episode host Robin Masiewicz  welcomes Rachael Sand, Psy. D., to discuss the fascinating field of Holistic Psychotherapy.What is Holistic Psychotherapy?Holistic psychotherapy, an integrative approach grounded in psychosynthesis, focuses on the relationship between mind, body, and spirit, attempting to understand and address the ways issues in one aspect of a person can lead to concerns in other areas.Those pursuing holistic therapy may, with the support of a qualified mental health professional, become better attuned to their entire awareness, which can often promote greater acceptance of the self.As Dr. Sand explains, traditional psychology focuses on the mind and the psyche.  Holistic psychotherapy is more than talk therapy; it recognizes that we are whole organisms and that everything is inter-related. Your mind is related to how your body is doing. How your body is doing affects how you think, and all of that affects how you feel; they all interact together.Some people intellectualize and gain insight through thinking and talking, other people are very in touch with their emotions. Some tend to express themselves physically, so when they are feeling off they may go for a run. Holistic psychotherapy looks at how the person generally approaches their lives, whether intellectual, emotional, or physical. It utilizes complementary services like massage, acupuncture, or yoga therapy as part of the treatment. The goal is to achieve a balance between mind, body, and spirit and to achieve the deepest levels of healing possible.Non-traditional therapies involved in Holistic PsychotherapyNon-traditional therapies tap into various levels of mind-body-spirit healing. They have a strong spiritual component, incorporating elements of transpersonal psychology, energy medicine, and other traditions of healing. These therapies may include hypnosis, breath therapy, guided imagery, and other techniques.For more information on how Holistic Psychotherapy works and links to finding a therapist in your area, check out GoodTherapy.org.About Rachael SandRachael B. Sand, Psy.D. is a psychologist with a private health psychology practice specializing in the balancing of mind/body/instincts towards natural well being. She is passionate about helping her clients find balance in their lives, clearing their fears and limiting beliefs, and learning to listen to and trust their instincts.Dr. Sand is trained in traditional clinical psychology, hypnosis, and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) with an emphasis in cognitive-behavioral therapy approaches and energy psychology techniques.She is a member of the American Psychological Association (APA), the Maryland Psychological Association (MPA), the Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP), and the National Institute of Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM), where she is a member of their Leadership Council. Rachael is currently a staff psychologist at the Veterans Transition Resource Center in Las Vegas, Nevada.For contact information visit RachaelSand.com.amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0";amzn_assoc_enable_interest_ads = "true";amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "transfcafe-20";amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "auto";amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart";amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon";amzn_assoc_region = "US";amzn_assoc_linkid = "3b50f876d96a6614d2c9f54e157f2c64";amzn_assoc_emphasize_categories = "283155";

In this week's podcast Robin and her guest Marvine Lindberg discuss Near Death Experiences (NDEs), a phenomenon that has become the subject of serious scientific study.Marvine recounts her own near death experience that occurred when she was 24 and undergoing surgery. She tells of meeting her grandfather and having conversations with other people dressed in white, and being given the choice of staying or going back to her body. This was at a time before the phenomenon of NDEs even had a name, let alone were discussed in the open.The term "Near Death Experiences" was coined by Raymond Moody, MD, PhD in the 1970s. In his landmark book Life After Life, Dr. Moody investigated more than one hundred case studies of people who experienced “clinical death” and were subsequently revived.In the podcast, Robin mentions an article called "The Mystical Impact of Near Death Experiences" by Bruce Greyson, PhD. Dr. Greyson concludes the article this way: "At the very least, near-death experiences should foster spiritual growth by leading us to question some of our basic assumptions about mind and brain, about our relationship to the divine, and about the universe and our role in it."Research has shown that individuals from different cultures and backgrounds relate very similar elements when they recount what they experienced during near-death. In the video below, Dr. Greyson observes that individuals from different cultures don't share the same vocabulary, but do describe similar experiences. What a westerner would describe as "a tunnel", someone from a third-world country might describe as "a cave". It's also worth noting that they are trying to put an an experience that is ineffable – something not able to be described in words – into words.In the video below, Dr. Greyson talks about consciousness without brain activity.Resources:The Mystical Impact of Near Death Experiences – article by Bruce Greyson.Life after Life InstituteInternational Association for Near Death StudiesList of References from "The Self Does Not Die"Do you know of someone that has had a near death experience? Would you believe them if they told you they had?Marvine's Bio:As a result of using Spiritual and Intuitive Guidance, Marvine Lindberg's life is a unique one. Aside from her private practice, Marvine has worked with the professional fields of Education, Law Enforcement, Medicine, Engineering, Business and Performing Arts. In her private consulting work Marvine has the pleasure of helping hundreds of her clients reach their goals, understand and overcome their fears, improve their health, and enrich the quality of their lives. Marvine has made numerous public appearances and taught throughout California, Washington and Alberta, Canada. She has a Ph.D. in Religious Philosophy and a Certificate of Achievement in Telecommunications, with an emphasis in Television and Film Production.

In this episode of the Transformation Cafe Podcast, we welcome back Louise Carruth, owner of the Little Candle Tea Company in Las Vegas, Nevada, to talk about the little known facts about tea.Did you know that the fragrance of tea, just like wine, plays a large part in its taste? So make sure to enjoy the aroma as you sip your tea!Is Herbal Tea really Tea?Technically any drink you make from an infusion of herbs, spices, or other plants – but doesn't contain tea leaves – is called a tisane (tea-zahn). These drinks are distinguished from true teas like green, white, yellow, and oolong, which are prepared from the cured leaves of the tea plant Camellia sinensis (cam-MEE-lee-ah sin-EN-sis), so herbal "tea" isn't technically tea. Still, if you go to a restaurant and order a tisane, you'll probably be met with a blank stare.Benefits of White TeaWhite tea is the least processed form of tea and has a more delicate flavor. Because of it's minimal processing it contains more nutrients than black or green tea, making it "the ultimate Health Tea". You can learn more about the health benefits of white tea at the White Tea Guide.Benefits of Green TeaGreen tea is considered one of the world's healthiest drinks and contains one of the highest amount of antioxidants of any tea. It's been shown to improve brain function, aid in fat loss, and lower risk of cancer. You can learn about the 10 Proven Benefits of Green Tea at Authority Nutrition, and the 11 Benefits of Green Tea You Didn't Know About from Lifehack.org. There are also numerous medical studies that demonstrate the medicinal benefits of green tea.Herbal TeasHerbal teas have been used traditionally for their medicinal effects. Chamomile, for example, helps to calm you and has a mild sedative effect. Teas made from peppermint, spearmint, and other types of mint are often recommended to help soothe digestive issues. I like green tea infused with spearmint and a little honey as a refreshing change of pace.Recommended Herbal Teas:* Chamomile* Mint* Raspberry Leaf* Lavender teaMint tea is also very popular and is great for soothing your digestive system.If you would like to order tea online, visit Louise's The Little Candle Tea Company.Louise's BioAfter teaching elementary school for 30 years in California, I decided to retire to Las Vegas. I did teach for one year here, and met a friend who loved drinking coffee, as I still do, and also loose leaf tea. She introduced me to the aromas and flavors of so many teas, my interest was piqued and that was that! I started learning all I could and began a business focusing on tea education. Most of my customers were also new to loose leaf (specialty) tea, and we began the journey together; learning and drinking this most wonderful brew.

In this week's podcast host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost welcome back bestselling author and success coach Ana Weber, author of Passion, Spirit, Purpose – 3 Formulas to the DOXA Method to Empower You to Love Your Life to discuss what we've learned from this great little book.In this interview Ana recaps some ideas from the book, and describes how it has impacted her readers. Ana is now in the process of developing a companion workbook so we can dive deeper into the DOXA method (which we'll share on here on Transformation Cafe when it's available).Amy also tells a story about how she has been applying some of the DOXA principles to her work with veterans and their families, and what she's experienced as a result. It illustrates how these concepts can be applied in a real-world setting.Author Biography:The consummate "people person," Ana approaches every person and every new experience with joy and love. Her employees love to work with her, and her friends love to be around her. And at every company she has helped to manage, she's helped engineer massive revenue growth. As an example, she took one company from annual revenues of $250,000 to $62 million in just five years, while creating 83 new full-time jobs. If you ask Ana the secret of her long string of business successes, she'll tell you it's all about building relationships.In addition to her many decades of business experience, Ana has achieved success in multiple parallel careers—as a writer, speaker, personal and business/professional coach, and philanthropist:Writer:Since 2005, she's published 17 nonfiction books on personal improvement, covering personal happiness, time management, healthy eating, business/personal success, parenting and money relationships as well as a novel and a poetry collection. Her books have been featured on some of the top websites in the world, including SheKnows, VenusDivas, American Airlines, USA Weekly, Wall Street Journal and Bank of America Newsletter April, 2013.As a freelance journalist who has published in Parents Magazine, Lifestyle, USA Today, USA Weekly, Wall Street Journal, Bank of America, American Airlines on flight Magazine, Celebrity, Orange County Register, and TV Guide, she has interviewed dozens of high-profile high achievers, among them supermodel Kathy Ireland, anti-aging expert Dr. William Andrews, and Melanie True Hills—e-business strategist, author, and founder and CEO of the American Foundation for Women's Health.Speaker:Ana's recent presentations include Canyon Ranch, Avalon European River Cruises (general public); Southwest Airlines, ADP, JetBlue, Virgin Atlantic (corporate), American Institute of Architects National Conference, University of Michigan Annual Education Conference, Eastern Michigan University (academic and professional organizations). University of Delaware. (Detailed list of presentations on request.)360 Degrees of Success Coach:Ana has a terrific online course called 360 Degrees of Success. Learn directly from Ana as she provides you with practical tools to maintain a high energy level…merge their passion, talents, skills, educations and experiences…live in the present…and, most importantly, live a balanced, joyful,

In this week's podcast host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss chapters 18 – 21 of Passion, Spirit, Purpose – 3 Formulas to Introduce the DOXA Method to Empower You to Love Your Life.Below are some suggested questions to ponder. We suggest that you take each question and journal your response.For a slightly different perspective, try writing with your non-dominant hand (if you're right-handed, try writing left-handed). Since writing this way uses the other side of your brain, you're likely to get a very different view. Here is an article with tips to learn how to write with your other hand. Below you'll find a link to "The Power of Your Other Hand" by Lucia Capacchione.Chapter 18: What I’ve Learned to Get You There FasterWhat story in your life can you use to get “there” faster now?Chapter 19: My First ImmigrationWhat is a “void” in your life?Chapter 20: Looking for LoveAre you settling in any areas of your life?Chapter 21: What Is Love—and How Can It Last?Answer questions on pages 117-118 and see where it takes you.Personal Boundary Assessment(From Drawing Your Boundaries with Grace by Amy Frost)How content am I in the various boundaries of MY life?Rate them on a scale of 1-5; 1 is okay and 5 the best possible* I know my definition of success* I am able to set goals to achieve live dreams* I have compassion with myself* I practice healthy Self-Care* I know my personal mission* I listen to my instincts* I know who I amNext week we'll welcome author Ana Weber to discuss what we've learned from Passion, Spirit, Purpose.

In this week's podcast host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss chapters 13 – 17 of Passion, Spirit, Purpose – 3 Formulas to Introduce the DOXA Method to Empower You to Love Your Life.Chapter 13: What’s Next?How do you start your day? Try five minutes of stillness before you dive into your day.To learn more about stillness and its benefits, check out "The Practice of Stillness" by Michael Hyatt. In the article he refers to The Joy Diet by Martha Beck. In chapter 1 Beck states "To begin the Joy Diet, you must do nothing for fifteen minutes a day".Here are some suggestions on how to practice stillness excerpted from Hyatt's article:How to Practice StillnessSchedule a time. For me, I schedule stillness first thing in the morning. It has become so precious to me, that I won’t want to start the day without it. I practice this first—before prayer, before Bible reading, before journaling, and before exercise.Find a place. When I was on vacation, I sat on the dock by the lake. This was ideal. But it is not my real world. Now I simply go into my study and shut the door. The main thing is to find a place where you won’t be interrupted.Set a timer. I am following Beck’s admonition to set aside fifteen minutes a day. In my limited experience this seems about right. It is amazing how my perception of this time changes from day to day. Sometimes it seems like forever. Other times, it goes by very quickly. I use the timer on my iPhone.Relax your body. I simply sit in a soft chair with my eyes closed. I then systematically relax my body and get quiet. Beck says that if you can’t sit still, then engage in any mindless physical activity, like rocking in a chair or watching some natural motion like fire or running water. I also play a recording I have of the ocean.Quiet your mind. This is the biggest challenge for me. Just when I get still, I have some random thought or a whole flurry of thoughts. But I am getting better. Beck offers several techniques for practicing “nonjudgmental observation,” a discipline that keeps your allotted time from being hijacked by an overly-active mind.Be present. Don’t be regretting or celebrating the past. Don’t be worrying or dreaming about the future. Instead, collect your thoughts and be present—in this moment. It is the most important time you have. In fact, it is the only time you have.Learn to return. This has been the most helpful component. In involves recalling a “place of peace,” where you had a particularly vivid experience of peace and stillness.Chapter 14: Hearing the Inner VoiceThis week eat foods that love you back! Listen to your body.Chapter 15: Compromise Isn’t Settling!Ana's article on Compromise Isn't Settling appeared on this week's Huffington Post. Here's an excerpt:"Compromise is a choice to negotiate and validate one another and support one another. It derives from desire, love and integrity. You grow, you learn and you give.

In this week's podcast host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss chapters 8 – 11 of Passion, Spirit, Purpose – 3 Formulas to Introduce the DOXA Method to Empower You to Love Your Life.Below you'll find some questions to consider as you reflect on these chapters. Ana gives us a lot to think about!Chapter 8 – Learn, Grow, and Live!Where are you leading now?  Where might you step into leadership in a new place/way?  What is the first step you can take to turn on your own inner light?Chapter 9:  Freedom! Connecting the DotsThis week try some of the ways to achieve a positive attitude and welcome a new thought pattern on pages 50-51.  What happened?For inspiration, below is Steve Jobs' famous Stanford University commencement address from 2005. Standing before the nation's next generation of innovators was the genius who never graduated from college. He tells the story of how he came to connect the dots of his past and went on to revolutionize technology.Chapter 10:  Your Metaphorical Grocery BagWhat can I get rid of that now longer serves the life I want…physically… mentally…emotionally and spiritually? It's time to take a personal inventory of what you want for your life, and what you can get rid of.Chapter 11: A Cautionary Tale—and a Surprise EndingWhat are some simple steps you can take to value and deepen your current relationships? Try some! What happened?Chapter 12:  Coloring My ViewsHow can you accept yourself a little bit more today?  OK, READY??? How can you unconditionally love yourself today?

In this week's podcast host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss chapters 3 – 7 of Passion, Spirit, Purpose – 3 Formulas to Introduce the DOXA Method to Empower You to Love Your Life.Review Questions/ExercisesChapter 3: The ABC of Desire – Journal on “What does attract…believe and Create mean to you?” Don’t think… just allow your pen to flow and see what comes out.Chapter 4:  Living in the Now of DOXA Desire – Design a dream or wish board using the three DOXA Desire principles of Attract, Believe, and Create. Place some of your specific dreams and goals on the board, in any format that makes sense for you: write, draw, paste photographs or newspaper clips, whatever fits your mood. This will help you attract and manifest those goals, and turn them into reality.Chapter 5:  Your Present…Your Purpose – Be open to knowing your purpose. Reflect on what you have always felt called to do. Get out your journal and answer the questions below:* What are your talents?* What do you like to do?* What have you always been good at?* When you were working on an assignment or project and you felt like your soul was fully engaged what tasks were you doing?* What are your dreams? What were they when you were a kid? Are you living them? If not, why not?Chapter 6:  Why? The Magical Question –  Practice Phrasing Your Why and How questions positively: Instead of “why am I so bored?”, try “how can I replace my boredom with enthusiasm—what can I do and where can I go to change my mindset?” Instead of “why am I depressed?”, “what is getting in the way of my happiness (or my purpose)—and how can I transform that roadblock into an open door?” Look at what you wrote on attract, believe and create and see what Ana has provide on them at the end of this chapter.Chapter 7:  Rock of Intentions! –  Let's all set up a road trip with Ana to Canyon Ranch in Tucson!!!! AND, the dissection of intentions is so powerful:The word starts with I. I is the person who lives through us—the individual we must love in a healthy way.Add the letter n, and I becomes In. The In represents our inner spirit, our soul—infusing us with direction.The rest of the word, tentions, is pronounced like “tensions.” Tensions come about when we dismiss that inner being, refuse to listen to our own sacred voice. Tensions lead us to stress, keep us in unawareness, and block our ability to ignite our passion and fulfill our purpose.This week: Listen to your own sacred voice … write down what you hear… 

In this week's podcast host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss chapters 1 and 2 of Passion, Spirit, Purpose – 3 Formulas to Introduce the DOXA Method to Empower You to Love Your Life.Chapter 1: Find Your Passion, Spirit, Purpose, and Connection—the DOXA WayThe DOXA MethodThe best success formulas are simple—because simple formulas are easy to remember and easy to make a part of your life. The DOXA formula, one of my favorites has only four steps:D – desireO – outstandingX –  X out the impossibleA – allow you to be YOUOwning the Choosing ProcessThis week’s assignment: When you choose in a conscious way, you own the choosing process, and you make stronger, better choices.Pause your routine and take a break. Take a deep breath and ask yourself: What are my choices? What path should I walk on? Is there a sign in this? Do I need to shift to another path? Chapter 2:  Life MysteriesDreams and desires become our companions as we travel from the present to the future, letting go of past challenges, giving us a sense and a taste of purpose and fulfillment, and replenishing our dignity and sense of belonging. With this powerful help, we’re in the driver’s seat, controlling our own destiny. We’re centered, we’re loved, we enjoy the drive. But we’re no longer co-dependent. We flow with life—and life flows with our complete being.This week’s assignment:  Draw something that represents your dreams and desires on a road trip to the future.Next Week:* Chapter 3:  The ABC of Desire* Chapter 4:  Living in the Now of DOXA Desire* Chapter 5:  Your Present…Your Purpose* Chapter 6:  Why? The Magical Question* Chapter 7:  Rock of Intentions!

In this week's podcast host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost welcome bestselling author and success coach Ana Weber, author of Passion, Spirit, Purpose – 3 Formulas to Introduce the DOXA Method to Empower You to Love Your Life.In this interview Ana tells how she was inspired to write her new book. She has already authored sixteen other books, and felt she had nothing more to say, then WHAM! She sat down and the words just started to flow.Ana describes her book this way: "In Passion, Spirit, Purpose I’ll share with you the many success formulas I struggled to understand through years of trial and error, years of failing and getting up again. All of us can learn to wire ourselves for success. Even when life seems like an endless series of unexpected and frightening challenges. We can still choose how to respond, and our choices change the outcome."Ana describes her new book and what "DOXA" means in the video below. Contact Info:[email protected]//

On this week's show we are pleased to have Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness, as our guest. Join host Robin Masiewicz and Amy Frost as they discuss Shasta's book, challenges with friendship for both women and men, and Shasta's future projects.If you are a follower of the Transformation Cafe podcast, you may have heard our Cafe Book Club episodes covering this great book. If not, now's your chance to check it out!If you don't have a copy of this great book, or you want to give one to a loved one, you can support the Transformation-Cafe by purchasing  Frientimacy using this link. It won't cost you any more, but it helps us to continue providing new content. Thank you!Shasta Nelson, author of FrientimacyCafe Book Club episodes on FrientimacyHere are links to the previous episodes of our Cafe Book Club review of Frientimacy.Chapters 1-2 – The Intimacy GapChapters 3-5  – The Frientimacy Triangle, Identifying the 5 Intimacy Gaps and Positivity – Giving and ReceivingChapters 6 -7 –  Consistency – Building Trust and Vulnerability – Deeper MeaningChapters 8-10 – Leaning into Intimacy – Obstacles Doubting our Self Worth and Fear of RejectionChapter 11 – Obstacles – The Toxic Friend TrendChapters 12-13 –Obstacles – Jealousy and Envy and Holding Ourselves BackAbout Shasta:Shasta Nelson, M.Div., is the Founder of GirlFriendCircles.com, a women’s friendship matching site in 65 cities across the U.S. and Canada. Her spirited and soulful voice for strong female relationships can be found in her books Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness and Friendships Don’t Just Happen! The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends. She also writes at ShastasFriendshipBlog.com and in the Huffington Post, speaks across the country, and is a friendship expert in the media appearing on such shows as Katie Couric and the Today Show.Shasta's Links:WebsitesShasta Nelsonwww.ShastaNelson.comGirlFriendCircles.comwww.GirlFriendCircles.comShasta's Friendship Blogwww.ShastasFriendshipBlog.com

In this week's podcast host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss "Earthing", also called "grounding"; what it is, and how you can benefit from it.Most of us have experienced the rejuvenating feeling of being in nature — taking a walk on the beach, working in a garden, or walking barefoot in the grass. Part of why we feel better is being in the sunshine, breathing clean air, or maybe being near natural water sources like a lake or stream.But there's also something else going on of which you may be unaware. Being in direct contact with nature also improves our health; it can reduce inflammation, relieve pain, and improve our sleep among other things.As Doctor Stephen T. Sinatra explains: "It has recently been discovered that when our bare feet make contact with the Earth’s surface our body uptakes a natural and subtle energy in the form of electrons that have a negative charge – you could think of this as "vitamin G" – G for Ground. Just as the sun above us creates vitamin D in our body, the ground below us creates vitamin G, sort of an ‘electrical nutrition‘."What is Earthing?The short video below gives a quick overview of the principles of earthing.This could be the difference between feeling good and not so good, of having little or a lot of energy, sleeping well or not so well, looking vibrant or looking tired and old, suffering from an auto-immune disease or having a strong immune system.Here's a video by Laura Koniver, M.D., describing how quickly grounding can affect your body.Earthing: The Most Important Health Discovery Ever!This fascinating book by Clinton Ober, Stephen T. Sinatra, M.D., and Martin Zucker is available by clicking the image below. The first third of the book describes Clint Ober's original idea and the initial research done showing its results.How can I experience Earthing now?Go barefoot outside for at least half-hour and see what a difference it makes on your pain or stress level. Sit, stand, lay or walk on grass, sand, dirt, or plain concrete. These are all conductive surfaces from which your body can draw the Earth’s energy. Wood, carpet, asphalt, sealed or painted concrete and vinyl won’t work. They are not conductive surfaces. Experience for yourself the healing energy of the Earth at work.Ideas on how you can experience Earthing* Take your shoes off and walk barefoot on the grass before or after work* Garden with you bare hands (or play in the dirt with your kids/grandkids)* Lay on the grass or in a field* Lean up against a tree while reading a book* Sleep on the earth while camping* Walk outside barefoot and look at the stars before you go to sleep* Swim in the ocean or lakes* Walk on the beachEarthing indoorsMany earthing products are now available that allows you to get the same benefit while you're indoors. While you may live in an apartment far above the ground, grounding wires are within easy reach in your electrical outlets (at least they are in the United States). One such product is a grounding mat. I just purchased one and have it under my (now bare) feet while I'm working at the computer, and the grounding wire is plugged into the nearby wall socket. It's nice to think I'm actually doing something good for myself while I pound away at the keybo...

This week we're welcoming Dennis M. Harness, Ph.D., a professional Vedic astrologer and lecturer who received his doctorate degree in Counseling Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco, California.From Chakrapani Ullal's site:Astrology, or Jyotish, originated from The Vedas (Vedic Scriptures) dating back over 6,000 years. The world´s most ancient scriptures give evidence of a culture rich in the arts, philosophy, religion, and science. Jyotish was first mentioned in the Rig Veda, and references were also made in the classical Indian epics, the Ramayana, the Mahabharata, and the classic Bhagavad-Gita.The Vedas are considered by many to be the most vast and complete system of knowledge known to man, and Jyotish is revered as one of the most important limbs of the Vedas. Jyotish, a Sanskrit word, translates to "Science of Light". Jyotish is the "remover of the darkness of ignorance". It is the eye of divine knowledge which is pure, supreme, and exalted.Jyotish is believed to have been conceived by the ancient sages while in a state of super-consciousness which allowed them to cognize life beyond time and space, beyond past, present and future. In this super-conscious state, they recognized the energetic rays of the planets as reflectors or transmitters of light energy. These solar and planetary radio-like waves, sent out at various angles, were seen to bear influence on everything animate and inanimate, affecting humans on both biological and psychological levels. It is said that the sages observed and experimented with their observations in order to codify into rules the formulations which ultimately became the laws by which Jyotish is practiced.About Dennis:For more than twenty years, Dennis has studied both Eastern and Western astrological techniques with some of the world's most respected astrologers. He has published numerous articles, research papers and book chapters in the fields of astrology, psychology, and medicine.Dennis was a founding member of the American Council of Vedic Astrology and served as president of the American College of Vedic Astrology, located in Sedona, Arizona, from 1999-2009. His book, The Nakshatras: The Lunar Mansions of Vedic Astrology, is published by Lotus Press and continues to be one of the few works dedicated to uncovering the mysteries of these important, and often overlooked, asterisms of Vedic Astrology.The Nakshatras: The Lunar Mansions of Vedic AstrologyDennis is a popular speaker and lectures and teaches at conferences, workshops and retreat seminars around the world. If you would like Dennis to speak at your event, please contact him at:Dennis Harness, Ph.D.P.O. Box 2149Sedona AZ 86339Phone: (928) 282-6595You can learn more about Dennis and his work at http://www.dennisharness.com//

This week we're doing something a little different. Our guest tonight is Katherine Masiewicz, a.k.a. KEM Cosplay, an aspiring actress and model who is active in the world of Cosplay.For the uninitiated, "cosplay" comes from Costume Roleplay, where fans of a particular genre of popular culture create costumes and portray their favorite character. Cosplay can include Japanese Anime characters, characters from video games, television shows, movies, comic books, science fiction, the list is almost endless. Characters can be a mix of two different genres, so the only limit is one's imagination.An anime convention is an event or gathering with a primary focus on anime, manga and Japanese culture. Commonly, anime conventions are multi-day events hosted at convention centers, hotels or college campuses.This fun video tells the story better than mere words.In the United States conventions like San Diego Comic-Con and the Anime Expo have welcomed many thousands of guests, and cosplay has become a serious art form. Competitions with cash prizes are held, and some professional cosplayers are paid to make appearances at various conventions. There’s cosplaying, panels, workshops, booths, and even the chance to take a picture with your favorite writer, actor, hero, or designer. There are also numerous books and even television shows about the world of Cosplay.KEM Cosplay photosKatherine Masiewicz (KEM Cosplay) as "GLaDOS". Katherine Masiewicz (KEM Cosplay) as "Carmelita Fox" Actor Anthony Misiano as "The Joker"If you're interested in learning more, check out the books below.Books 

In this episode of the Transformation Cafe podcast, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost interview Suzanne Connolly and Kristin Miller about TFT – Thought Field Therapy – as a treatment for Post Traumatic Stress.TFT was developed by Roger Callahan, Ph.D. It involves tapping on acupuncture meridians in a specific sequence while a person is thinking of a traumatic event or a specific problem. Research has shown that it can be a very effective treatment for individuals with PTS.PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, in the general world population, is a significant public health problem. At the global level it's estimated that the treatment of PTSD accounts for about 4% of the global burden of disease. 10 % of women, and 5 % of men worldwide, are suffering from post-traumatic stress. According to the World Health Organization, mental illness is predicted to be the second largest cause of death and disability in populations around the world by 2020, second only to heart disease.Suzanne and Kristin will be working with Amy on a exciting new study to treat veterans in Las Vegas. The project is called the Veteran to Veteran Healing Project. Not only will Suzanne, Kristin, and their team be able to treat veterans directly, but their patients will also be taught how to perform TFT for themselves, and how to work with their peers.How to ParticipateIf you are a veteran in the Las Vegas area and would like to participate, here is a link to the Letter of Invitation to Participate and the form you'll need to complete.Dr. Roger Callahan on TappingThought Field Therapy DemonstrationResources:The Veterans Transition Resource Center (https://veteranstransitionresourcecenter.com) is a collaborative partnership between Life After Active Duty and Veterans Care Foundation, created to help fill the gap in Veteran Services.Veteran's Transition Resource Center article: Veteran to Veteran Thought Field Therapy (TFT) Intervention for War-Related PTSD Can Help Nevada Combat Veteran Suicide StatewideGuests: Suzanne M. Connolly, TFT-Adv, LCSW, LMFT, based in Sedona, Arizona and Kristin Miller, Ph.D., CA Lic. PsychologistSuzanne's website: Thought Field TherapyOnline Video Training in TFT by Suzanne Connolly: http://www.thoughtfieldtherapy.net/online-training/ amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0";amzn_assoc_enable_interest_ads = "true";amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "transfcafe-20";amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "auto";amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart";amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon";amzn_assoc_region = "US";amzn_assoc_linkid = "62ce0b8cbad2b3876339aa71e6fa9f09";amzn_assoc_fallback_mode = {"type":"search","value":"PTSD"};amzn_assoc_default_category = "All";amzn_assoc_emphasize_categories = "1000";

This week we're exploring the Coloring Book Craze! Why are they so popular? Can they really help you to relax?Studies have shown that coloring books and coloring pages can be extremely therapeutic, and has been compared to the benefits that one gets from meditation. It must be working; adult coloring books have taken over the publishing industry, and have skyrocketed to the best-seller list.You can't walk into a brick-and-mortar bookstore without seeing a table filled with coloring books for adults.In the video below, Katie Couric talks about how adult coloring books have become a phenomenon. It started in the U.K., then to France, but has quickly spread globally. Coloring parties are even popping up in bars!Just a few of the benefits of coloring books:* Coloring has been shown to have stress-reducing benefits* Increases focus and creativity* Provides opportunities for social time* Alternative to meditationCheck out this list of 10 Therapeutic Benefits of Coloring Books for Adults from color-meanings.com for a more in-depth discussion of the benefits.Links to articles about Adult Coloring BooksHere's an interesting article about the Health and Brain Benefits of Adult Coloring Books from Wellness Mama.http://www.medicaldaily.com/therapeutic-science-adult-coloring-books-how-childhood-pastime-helps-adults-3562804 Benefits of Adult Coloring BooksIf you'd like to purchase some coloring books and give it a try yourself, we'd love you to take a look at this link to the Adult Coloring Book page on Amazon.Here are some favorites:And lest you think they are all butterflies and unicorns, here are a couple that are definitely more "adult".And last but not least, you'll need some colored pencils and a sharpener....

The Cafe Book Club concludes our study of Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness by Shasta Nelson. In this episode we talk about the final obstacles to intimacy: Envy and Jealousy. We also discuss the main ideas from the book and how it has affected the way we look at our friendships and ourselves.Frientimacy RecapHere are links to the previous episodes of our Cafe Book Club review of Frientimacy.Chapters 1-2 – The Intimacy GapChapters 3-5  – The Frientimacy Triangle, Identifying the 5 Intimacy Gaps and Positivity – Giving and ReceivingChapters 6 -7 –  Consistency – Building Trust and Vulnerability – Deeper MeaningChapters 8-10 – Leaning into Intimacy – Obstacles Doubting our Self Worth and Fear of RejectionChapter 11 – Obstacles – The Toxic Friend TrendChapters 12-13 -Obstacles – Jealousy and Envy and Holding Ourselves BackConclusion – What we learned and what are our next steps in friendship About Shasta:Shasta Nelson, M.Div., is the Founder of GirlFriendCircles.com, a women’s friendship matching site in 65 cities across the U.S. and Canada. Her spirited and soulful voice for strong female relationships can be found in her books Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness and Friendships Don’t Just Happen! The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends. She also writes at ShastasFriendshipBlog.com and in the Huffington Post, speaks across the country, and is a friendship expert in the media appearing on such shows as Katie Couric and the Today Show.Shasta's Links:WebsitesShasta Nelsonwww.ShastaNelson.comGirlFriendCircles.comwww.GirlFriendCircles.comShasta's Friendship Blogwww.ShastasFriendshipBlog.com//

In this week's episode of the Transformation Cafe, host Robin Masiewicz discusses chapter 11 of Frientimacy. This chapter is about Obstacle #3 to Frientimacy: "The Toxic Friend Trend".As Shasta says in her article in the Huffington Post, not all friendships last forever."Chances are, only a select few people you are close to now will end up becoming life-long friends. And even those friendships have to change and become something new many times over, as we all go through various life stages and moves. But all friendships should enhance our lives and teach us new ways of loving people, even if they don’t last forever, so it’s important to learn how to leave people better off for having spent time with you." Is Your Friend Really Toxic?"Very few people are actually “toxic” (a word thrown around way too easily these days!), but that is not to say that the friendship you co-created with someone might not be meeting your needs anymore.""Seeing that it often has less to do with their actions and more to do with our expectations and current needs reminds us that there is room for mature conversations to help grow the friendship into something that brings joy to both individuals."How to Deal with a Toxic FriendHere is a three-step process for dealing with a toxic friend as suggested by Oprah.com. Five Practices for Owning Up"It so happens that in practicing being kind–especially with those we'd previously want to shun–we will grow in the process. We will build stronger muscles as we engage in our compassion, provoke our empathy, and develop our ability to set boundaries.""When we show up differently, it changes the pattern and dynamic of the relationship–and in turn invites the other to respond differently. Chances are high that our friend won't respond perfectly the first time we practice, nor will we initiate perfectly. That's why it's called practice. And know that the point is not to reach immediate success. If we feel it's important to stay in relationship with this person, the point is we're choosing to become more likely to hold our peace through whatever comes–and to in turn be an agent of peace."Own Our ImperfectionsAssume the Best in OthersWork to Understand Others' NeedsRethink the Word "Needy"Trust That You Are SafeFor EvaluationOn a scale of 1-10, how strong is the habit to immediately judge, dismiss, or devalue others who disappoint me?For ReflectionWhen I judge others, the pay-off for me is. . . (in other words, how do I feel better? What motivates me? What is my benefit or gain?)If someone else were to describe me as toxic, the behaviors they'd probably point to would be:Is there someone in my life I need to set better boundaries with in order to have a healthier relationship? If so, what might that look like?Of the Five Practices for Owning Up that are highlighted in this chapter, which one(s) resonate with me as the one that will make the biggest difference to my life? What could that look like?Resources:Shasta references The Wisdom of the Enne...

The Cafe Book Club continues with our study of Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness by Shasta Nelson. In this episode we start Part 3  on Obstacles to Intimacy. Chapter 8 – Leaning into Intimacy, Chapter 9 – Obstacle #1: Doubting Our Self Worth, and Chapter 10 – Obstacle #2: The Fear of Rejection.We all suffer from doubting our own self worth, and from fear of rejection. The question, though, is what can we do about it?About Fear"There are two things about fear that are particularly pertinent to our discussion: 1) It doesn't distinguish whether it's based on reality or not; and 2) Many of the fears that plague us are all frequently injurious to relationships."Leaning into IntimacyShasta identifies five basic fears that we all have, and addresses each one in a separate chapter. She starts the section with chapter called "Leaning in to Intimacy".I am willing to put as much energy into the saving of a friendship as I put into the the development of that friendship. Pulling away isn't the path to intimacy; we have to stay loving and curious if we want to get there.Relationships are the Gym for our Personal Growth"Our relationships are the health clubs where we practice intimacy; the places where we build up the muscles of compassion, increase our endurance for sitting with hard feelings, and stretch the flexibility of our biases. It's in our relationships where the rubber meets the road, where we practice being those better people we claim we want to become, the people we wish everyone else can be."Friendships are the gymnastics for the soul, where we can practice the hard work of relationships.The Hard Work of Relationships, such as:Apologizing even when our friends don't.Asking our friends what is bothering them even if we're unsure we want to know.Brainstorming solutions with our friends to help us love each other in meaningful ways with what we each offer.Finding loving ways to say, "I need something different."Naming our feelings instead of expecting our friends to guess.Practicing empathy even when we're tempted to judge.Speaking up honestly even when it's easier to shrug it off and pretend we're fine.Releasing our own version of a story instead of looking for more evidence to back it up.Staying non-defensive even when we feel attacked.Talking to our friend who hurt us instead of complaining about her to everyone else.Amy discusses a resource from the Center for Nonviolent Communication to help to describe our feelings. The Feelings Inventory provides a list of words to express a combination of emotional states and physical sensations. It is meant as a starting place to support anyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self-discovery and to facilitate greater understanding and connection between people. They also provide a Needs Inventory.There are two parts to this list: feelings we may have when our needs are being met and feelings we may have when our needs are not being met.If your friendship is going through a rough patch, Shasta provides four actions we can engage in when we choose to discuss our frustration or hurt. The goal isn't for us to feel better by dumping our frustrations on the other; rather our goal is to deepen the intimacy by inviting conversation. We want to open up space with questions, not shut it down with blame.Expressing LoveValidating FeelingsRemoving BlameRequesting Willingness

In this episode of the Transformation Cafe, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss chapters 6 and 7 of Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness by Shasta Nelson. This section focuses on the other two sides of the Frientimacy Triangle: Consistency and Vulnerability.Shasta discusses the intimacy gap and other questions in this interview from the Toronto Star:In your book, you talk about an intimacy gap many of us feel in our friendships. What is that, exactly?It’s the gap between what we wish we were experiencing in friendships and what we’re currently experiencing. It speaks to the fact that we all know a ton of people — it’s not a lack of a social life — but we’re not feeling that our friendships are deep or fulfilling enough.Why do you think so many people feel that?I think we’re not spending enough time with each other. Research shows healthy relationships need to stay above a 5:1 positivity to negativity ratio, so if we’re not seeing each other very often, and the encounters are filled with stressing and venting, we’re not having those times of laughing and having fun. We’re not feeling like people know what’s going on in our lives day-to-day. There are three aspects to friendships that are non-negotiable: positivity, consistency and vulnerability. If any of those are missing, it’s an obstacle.Why is being vulnerable so important?If you have positivity and consistency, it means you’re going out and having a good time, but you’re not feeling known. That third piece is what helps us feel safe and that our lives are feeling witnessed. Having those people we’ve practiced being vulnerable and real with — and going deeper with than just updating them about our lives — those are the people that we think will be there for us.You talk about women searching for the perfect friend, the Thelma to our Louise, but obviously nobody’s perfect. Instead you think we need better friendships, not better friends. What do you mean by that?If you look at those three non-negotiables of friendship, then anybody we practice those with, we’ll feel closer to. For example, we’ll feel closer to someone we work with because the consistency is happening often. Those women at work, if we’d gone on one coffee date, we wouldn’t have necessarily chosen them as a best friend, but we’re bonding because of the consistency with each other. We all have examples of women we really, really like and admire and had a great time with, but if we never saw them again, we didn’t develop a friendship. The only people who develop a friendship are the ones doing these three things together.What can women do if they feel like their friendships are lopsided, where they’re giving more than they’re getting?Only 26 per cent of us feel like we’re in friendships that are mutual — it’s a staggeringly low number! We tend to keep score more when we’re feeling depleted and tired, which speaks to women’s need for self-care. It also speaks to the fact that women need to practice asking for what they need. We need to learn to say, “I don’t need advice right now, I just need you to validate me.”If you could offer one key piece of friendship advice based on your research for the book, what would it be?I would say: Initiate the connection that you’re craving with your friendships. If you want more meaningful relationships, it’s in your hands.Frientimacy Schedule:Chapters 1-2 – The Intimacy GapChapters 3-5  – The Frientimacy Triangle,

In this episode of the Transformation Cafe, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost present discuss chapters 3 – 5 of Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness by Shasta Nelson. This section focuses on the Frientimacy Triangle, Identifying the 5 Intimacy Gaps, and Positivity: Giving and Receiving."Simply stated, frientimacy is any relationship where two people feel really seen in a way that feels satisfying and safe for both of them.""So how can we find frientimacy?"For us to feel SATISFIED, we must feel our interaction is rewarding, practicing POSITIVITY with each other.For us to feel SAFE, we must feel some level of trust, practicing CONSISTENCY with each other.For us to feel SEEN, we must be willing to reveal ourselves, practicing being VULNERABLE with each other.The Frientimacy Triangle consists of the qualities of Commitment, Vulnerability, and Positivity. As Shasta describes it:"To initiate, cultivate, and safeguard our intimacy, we must practice three things: positivity, consistency, and vulnerability."Frientimacy = positivity + consistency + vulnerabilityThe Frientimacy Triangle. In this model Positivity forms the base.If you haven't already done so, we encourage you to get your own copy of Frientimacy and join the discussion. You can leave a comment, or call in to the show live on Tuesday night at 8 PM Pacific time. The call-in number is (646) 727-3206. We'd love to hear from you! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0";amzn_assoc_enable_interest_ads = "true";amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "transfcafe-20";amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "auto";amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart";amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon";amzn_assoc_region = "US";amzn_assoc_linkid = "1f8dd348ef06b8592371349ef22a3751";amzn_assoc_emphasize_categories = "16261631,1000,3760901,301668";amzn_assoc_fallback_mode = {"type":"search","value":"friendship"};amzn_assoc_default_category = "All";

In this week's podcast host Robin Masiewicz, co-host Amy Frost, and guest Dr. Kymn start our exploration of  Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness by Shasta Nelson, a nationally recognized friendship expert. This episode covers chapters 1 and 2 – The Intimacy Gap.The Intimacy GapThis section includes an assessment to help you evaluate were you are in terms of relationships. The "intimacy gap" is the difference between the level of intimacy we are experiencing in our friendships, and the level we wish we were experiencing. Shasta describes this gap in the video below."With the constant connectivity of today’s world, it’s never been easier to meet people and make new friends—but it’s never been harder to form meaningful friendships."Shasta makes the case that we are living in the "Age of Loneliness"."So I'd like to clarify what I do and don't mean when I say we're lonely. We're not lonely because we don't have any friends, we're lonely because those friends don't always leave us feeling better after spending time with them."Robin and Amy discuss the workbook that accompanies the book, and how they are finding it to be a valuable tool to explore this subject. You can find the workbook on Shasta's website.Tentative Schedule:Chapters 1-2 – The Intimacy GapChapters 3-5  – The Frientimacy Triangle, Identifying the 5 Intimacy Gaps and Positivity – Giving and ReceivingChapters 6 -7 –  Consistency – Building Trust and Vulnerability – Deeper MeaningChapters 8-10 – Leaning into Intimacy – Obstacles Doubting our Self Worth and Fear of RejectionChapters 11-13 – Obstacles – The Toxic Friend, Jealousy and Envy and Holding Ourselves BackConclusion – retake the quiz… come prepared to talk about what you learned and what are our next steps in friendship.We invite you to join us each week as we work through the book and explore how we can implement the ideas in our own lives. You can support the Transformation-Cafe by purchasing  Frientimacy using this link, or use the link in the Cafe Book Club Selection in the sidebar. It won't cost you any more, but it helps us to continue providing new content. Thanks!About Shasta:Shasta Nelson, M.Div., is the Founder of GirlFriendCircles.com, a women’s friendship matching site in 65 cities across the U.S. and Canada. Her spirited and soulful voice for strong female relationships can be found in her books Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness and Friendships Don’t Just Happen! The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends. She also writes at ShastasFriendshipBlog.com and in the Huffington Post, speaks across the country, and is a friendship expert in the media appearing on such shows as Katie Couric and the Today Show.Shasta's Links:WebsitesShasta Nelsonwww.ShastaNelson.comGirlFriendCircles.comwww.GirlFriendCircles.com

In this week's podcast host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost introduce our next Cafe Book Club selection: Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness by Shasta Nelson, a nationally recognized friendship expert.  The term "Frientimacy" is a combination of "Friendship" and "Intimacy" (as opposed to "Frenemies", which is an entirely different topic best saved for another day). Shasta has a theory. She believe that friendship can save the world. But what does that mean? Take a look at the brief video below that illustrates why she thinks friendship is so crucial. Over the next several weeks, we'll be exploring Frientimacy and the companion workbook and assessments which you can find on Shasta's website.Tentative Schedule:Chapters 1-2 – The Intimacy GapChapters 3-5  – The Frientimacy Triangle, Identifying the 5 Intimacy Gaps and Positivity – Giving and ReceivingChapters 6 -7 –  Consistency – Building Trust and Vulnerability – Deeper MeaningChapters 8-10 – Leaning into Intimacy – Obstacles Doubting our Self Worth and Fear of RejectionChapters 11-13 – Obstacles – The Toxic Friend, Jealousy and Envy and Holding Ourselves BackConclusion – retake the quiz… come prepared to talk about what you learned and what are our next steps in friendship.We invite you to join us each week as we work through the book and explore how we can implement the ideas in our own lives. You can support the Transformation-Cafe by purchasing  Frientimacy using this link, or use the link in the Cafe Book Club Selection in the sidebar. It won't cost you any more, but it helps us to continue providing new content. Thanks!Amy shares a poem by John O'Donohue in this episode.A Friendship BlessingMay you be blessed with good friends.May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where there is great love, warmth, feeling and forgiveness.May this change you.May it transfigure that which is negative, distant, or cold in you.May you be brought in to the real passion, kinship, and affinity of belonging.May you treasure your friends.May you be good to them and may you be there for them; may they bring you all the blessings, challenges, truth and light that you need for your journey.May you never be isolated.May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your anam cara (soul friend).John O’Donohue –  Anam Cara – A Book of Celtic Wisdom About Shasta:Shasta Nelson, M.Div., is the Founder of GirlFriendCircles.com, a women’s friendship matching site in 65 cities across the U.S. and Canada. Her spirited and soulful voice for strong female relationships can be found in her books Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness and Friendships Don’t Just Happen! The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends. She also writes at ShastasFriendshipBlog.com and in the Huffington Post, speaks across the country,

Welcome to a very special edition of the Transformation Cafe podcast. We are pleased to present Robin's interview with Mark Nepo – best-selling author, poet, teacher, and philosopher. This episode was recorded at a special retreat that Mark held at Pine Manor Resort in Lake Elsinore, California.In this interview Mark talks about his transformational journey, how being a cancer survivor has influenced his writing and his life, and shares stories from his most recently published book called Inside the Miracle. He very graciously tells some of the stories he shared with the group at the retreat.Robin Masiewicz with Mark NepoAbout Mark Nepo:Mark Nepo is a poet and philosopher who has taught in the fields of poetry and spirituality for over 35 years. A New York Times #1 bestselling author, he has published 13 books and recorded eight audio projects. Mark has been interviewed twice by Oprah Winfrey as part of her Soul Series radio show, and was interviewed by Robin Roberts on Good Morning America. As a cancer survivor, Mark devotes his writing and teaching to the journey of inner transformation and the life of relationship. Mark's work is widely accessible and used in spiritual retreats, healing and medical communities, and more. His work has been translated into 20 languages, and he continues to offer readings, lectures, and retreats. We recommend that you check out Mark's audio books so you'll not only experience his wisdom, but you'll get to hear his lovely baritone voice.In the transformational journey, there are no answers to questions. Questions are lanterns that we swing ahead of us to light our way as we walk together. Think of questions as a door you would open that you want to walk through with someone. Questions are thresholds to journeys, not where we get answers.Mark talks about his latest book, Inside the Miracle, which collects 30 years of his inquiry into suffering and healing, and two new books that will be coming out later this year : The One Life We're Given: Finding the Wisdom that Waits in Your Heart and a collection of over 200 of his poems called The Way Under the Way: The Place of True Meeting published by Sounds True. Both books are available for pre-order through Amazon. Mark will be appearing at an event in Seattle July 16 – 17 sponsored by Sounds True called  Making Sense of Our Experience:The Heartwork of Resilience . Click the link for more information or to register for this great event (save $50 and register before June 1).You can view Mark's speaking schedule through 2017 at his website.If you're in the Southern California area, we encourage you to register for next year's retreat at Pine Manor, a unique facility nestled in the Cleveland National Forest near Lake Elsinore. The owner, Gail Warner, has integrated Mark's poetry into the facility, so it's a great place to spend time with him....

On this edition of the Transformation Cafe podcast, we welcome a half-dozen guests to help us celebrate our 300th show!The Transformation Cafe started six years ago with a group of friends attending a conference in Hawaii, as Robin recounts in this week's show. They had such great conversations that they wanted to find a way to continue them. At the time internet radio was fairly new, and podcasts were just getting started.Now you can listen any time, anywhere, using your favorite device. As Jeff observes in this week's show, the change in technology is mind-boggling; you can learn about something on a podcast and immediately put it into action by downloading an app to your smartphone. Amazing!Two years ago we launched  Transformation-Cafe.com as a means to expand on the conversation, by adding links to videos, articles, and supporting resources.  Slowly people from all over the world started discovering the show, and now we have regular listeners from North and South America, Europe, Australia, and Asia.We'd like to thank our contributors and guests for making the conversations so enjoyable, informative, and thought-provoking. Their individual passion and vision is very inspiring and encourages us to continue our mission to provide "A Fun Place to Nourish Your Soul"!This Week's Guests:Amy Frost, MBA, MA Psychology – Author, life coach, and a frequent guest host. Amy has been a major contributor in our Cafe Book Club study of Big Magic and Presence. Best of all she's Robin's sister!Gloria Haswell – Speaker, trainer, personal development coach, and executive consultant, Gloria has been a regular with the show since it's inception six years ago. Gloria always has something unique to contribute.Jeff Drothler – Jeff has been on the show a couple of times, most notably when we did an episode on the legacy of Wayne Dyer in episode TC 269. Jeff's specialty is connecting ideas, people, and resourcesDr. Kymn – Author and Assistant Professor at University of New York – Empire. Dr. Kymn participated in several episodes of our Cafe Book Club study of Presence.Marvine Lindberg – Inspiration Consultant, has appeared a number of times on the show. Marvine was featured in TC 213: Cultivating Conscious Awareness.Renee Cabourne, CFP – Author of HarMoney: A Step-by-Step Guide to Your Money. . . Your Rules, Your Way! Renee was a featured guest on episode TC 206. Renee has a new Money Savvy app available for Apple and Android! Learn more at http://www.moneysavvywoman.com/5-ways-get-money-savvy-now/. You can download it from Google Play or the Apple store, and best of all it's free!Cafe Book Club on YouTubeYou can find the Transformation Cafe podcast on iTunes, iHeartRadio, Stitcher, and now Google Play Music. In addition, we've uploaded our Cafe Book Club episodes to

In this episode host Robin Masiewicz and her guest Amy Frost continue their discussion on The 30-Day Sobriety Solution by Jack Canfield and Dave Andrews. Amy has been going through the book with a friend, and using the techniques to make positive changes. Amy's friend ended up getting his "dream job" after completing the program.Part 1 can be found in episode TC296.From Booklist review: "Not everyone wants to join a support group to deal with their drinking problems. With that in mind, Jack Canfield, of Chicken Soup for the Soul and The Success Principles, and coauthor Dave Andrews have joined forces to produce The 30-Day Sobriety Solution: How to Quit or Cut Back on Drinking in the Privacy of Your Own Home, a 30-day blueprint to help anyone who wants to cut back or eliminate alcohol from their lives.To learn more about the 30-Day Challenge, check out Jack's video at http://jackcanfield.com/30-day-sobriety-challenge/For more information about the 30-Day Sobriety Solution and other programs by Jack Canfield, check out the websites below.Companion Website:The30DaySolution.comhttp://jackcanfield.comamzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0";amzn_assoc_enable_interest_ads = "true";amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "transfcafe-20";amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "auto";amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart";amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon";amzn_assoc_region = "US";amzn_assoc_linkid = "ba33000cf59905a2b358066f8a6e8b6f";amzn_assoc_emphasize_categories = "51569011,16310101,3760901,1055398,3367581,133140011,284507,301668";amzn_assoc_fallback_mode = {"type":"search","value":"new releases"};amzn_assoc_default_category = "Books";

Are you dealing with a narcissist at home or at work? Is there such a thing as "healthy narcissism?"Amy often conducts workshops on dealing with difficult people at work. She is currently reading Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed by Wendy Terrie Behary, LCSW. In this episode Robin, Amy, and Gloria discuss traditional narcissism (an undesirable psychological condition) and "healthy narcissism".A Narcissist's World ViewThis book contains a checklist to find out if you are dealing with a narcissist. Some examples of the thirteen narcissistic traits listed by Behary include:Self-absorbed (acts like everything is about him or her)?Entitled (makes the rules and breaks the rules)Demeaning (puts you down and is bullyish)Demanding (demands whatever he or she wants)Demanding (demands whatever he or she wantsDistrustful (is suspicious of your motives when you’re being nice to him or her)Unempathic (is uninterested in understanding your inner experience or unable to do so)Healthy Narcissism"Narcissism sounds like a disaster, doesn't it? But is narcissism always bad? Actually, it's not. Healthy narcissism contains the seeds of assertiveness and self-respect. While "healthy narcissism" sounds like an oxymoron, in reality narcissism occurs along a spectrum within the human condition. Embodied in human nature itself is a tendency for narcissistic expression. And that isn't all bad.""So how might we characterize healthy adult narcissists? Typically, they possess many of the following traits and display them frequently and with intensity:Empathic: They are attuned to the inner world of others.Engaging: They are charismataic, socially literate, and interpersonally companionable.Leadership: They can conceptualize a purpose or a vision and can formulate a direction when collaborating with others.Self-possessed: They are confident and rigorously commtted to generosity and authenticity.Recognition Seeking: They are fueled by positive approval and motivated to make a difference.Determined: They can push beyond dense briers of opposition.Confrontational: They hold others accountable, but without assassinating their souls.Wisely fearful: They can discern between reasonably disquieting solicitation and destructive seduction.The myth of Narcissus in modern life and ArtThe Myth of Narcissus has inspired several artists as well; the most known is Caravaggio who painted a young man admiring his reflection in the water.The painters Turner and Dali were also inspired by the myth, while poets, such as Keats and Housman, used his example in many of their works.The myth of Narcissus is known also for one additional reason; the flower Narcissus (also called Daffodil or jonquil) that is found usually at the banks of rivers and lakes, took its name after the mythical hero.

Are you Caged, Comfortable, or Charged? In this week's episode host Robin Masiewicz, and guests Amy Frost and Carolyn Ortman discuss Brendon Burchard's work on living a Charged Life, and his High Performance Academy.Brendon is the author of The Charge: Activating the Ten Human Drives That Make You Feel Alive, The Motivation Manifesto, The Millionaire Messenger, and many other books. He also has a very popular YouTube channel.Brendon Burchard Brendon Burchard on The Caged Life About Carolyn OrtmanCarolyn Ortman, owner of CKO Marketing.CKO Marketing Group specializes in dynamic marketing and business solutions for entrepreneurs, businesses, and professionals. The company offers services through expert facilitators, consultants, and coaches.CKO is led by Carolyn Ortman who acts as a "Marketing Matchmaker" because she empowers her clients and applies strategies and techniques to create messages and brands that bust through marketplace clutter, launch business profiles, and perfectly match their ideal audiences. Carolyn was featured in episode TC 238 of the Transformation Cafe where she discussed Marketing Yourself.

In this week's Cafe Book Club podcast, host Robin Masiewicz and her guest Amy Frost discuss chapter 5 of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challengesby Amy Cuddy, titled "Slouching, Steepling, and the Language of the Body".More than 30 million people have watched Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk, “How Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are.” It is ranked second among the most-viewed TED talks. Amy recently discussed her research and her book on CBS Sunday Morning.Power posing has entered the pop culture as fans of Dilbert may have noticed. THE FIERCEST DISPLAY OF power at a New Zealand rugby match occurs before actual play beginsAmy Cuddy refers to the New Zealand rugby team, the All Blacks, who have performed a ceremonial dance called the "Haka" prior to each international match since 1905. It's a combination of chanting, vigorous movements, and foot-stomping with rhythmically shouted accompaniment. It comes from the Maoiri war dance and is intended to get the team pumped up (and scare the opposing team). Below is a video of the Haka at a match against France. Judge for yourself whether you think the All Blacks' body language has any effect on them and the French team. And yes, New Zealand won the match against France.Walking with SwaggerHow you walk reflects your emotional state. The Patakosmos Bio Motion Lab has an online experiment that allows you to see how someone who is happy walks versus unhappy. You can also change it from male to female, heavy to light, and nervous to relaxed. Look for the BMLWalker and move the sliders back and forth to see how the figure's walk changes.2 Minute Posture ExperimentTake note of your posture now. How are you sitting as you read this? Are you hunched up cross legged, or stretched out? Or something else? Notice how you feel. Now, I suggest you make some adjustments. If you are sitting, move forward in your chair so that your Sitz bones are towards the front of the chair. Place your feet evenly on the floor. Allow your spine to lengthen, and come into alignment. Allow your breath to fill your lungs easily and fully. Do this for 2 minutes. What do you feel now?Big Ideas from Presence:Presence – Attuned and expressing your personal powerSelf-Affirmation Theory – You’re Awesome!Priming and Nudges – Build your personal powerExpand your Body – to expand your personal poweriHunch – Hunching over your phone diminishes your power“I’m Excited!” – Reframe feelings of fear or nervousness as excitementBoldest Version of You – Move like that. Today.