Two Dads Talking

In this episode, we name names. No, seriously. Like should a child be able to sue his parents for being given a crappy name? What does a name do to your kids and their potential success? Who (if anyone) should be changing names after a marriage? And how important it really is to pick the right spouse. Also discussed for the pleasure of your earholes: Will Smith's marriage rant, shooting accuracy that is just criminal, and a good old fashioned Tom vs. Doug debate. Show Links:  Will Smith: "You can never make someone else happy." Civil Suit for Gaylord  

You aren't ready for this one. We're talking about a real-life identity fraud case that went on for thirty years and incarcerated the VICTIM. We also want to introduce Master Sergeant GamblyFace, a man who bet hard against Venezuela and is now facing charges (and a bit of hypocrisy) after a $400,000 payday.  Bonus content: Tom got a BAD haircut, What if your spouse suddenly became a Flat Earther and wanted to educate your children, gender role disagreements, and an unexpected trip down the stairs...  Show Links:  Identity theft in Wisconsin  https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cd0p54j9r9vo    

Border protection takes a wild turn, women are obsessed with serial killers, Tom was attacked by a fire truck, and the hits just keep coming this week.  Links for perspective, context, and to prove we're not making this up:  Border Protection in India The "Traitor" story. Serial killer gets nailed (story) Serial killer gets nailed (video) Women want to nail this serial killer. Ice Cream and the government's ongoing struggle with personal liberty. Draft Kings Cop's bill finally comes due.

Disney is a lot like Australia (except it's real): We keep talking about it, it's a magical place full of strange imaginary creatures, and someone is Lion about it. This week we take Pride in the most recent Disney lawsuit, buckle in for a Tom / Doug argument just like the good ole days.  We also cover the epic history of the horse, Tom's daughters are asking tough questions (insert Dad fail here), and a Dad had a heartbreaking day in court.  Show links:  The Lawsuit  What he actually said  Tragic Day in Court (2019)   Visit the 2DT Patreon for bonus content, and consider joining because Tom might need bail money.   Get 2DT swag here. Follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected].   

Both Dads took vacations this week (well, last month, we're a little behind on uploads). What was magical? What PTSD-inducing incident wasn't?    Also, Tom lost the show notes for this one (he's on Fire, that guy...), so either Doug edits this post-publishing and fills them in or Tom owes you all a massive apology. While he doesn't remember EXACTLY what we talked about other than vacations, he's pretty sure there's a Bonnie Blue legal update (Hey John!), dad jokes, and a regrettable comment or two that are likely to get us in trouble with some oversensitive bubble-dweller tuning in from the parents' basement.    Go Dad Go!!!     

Whether you're a longtime listener, looking for a new podcast, or just want some dirt on Tom, this episode is your chance to get to know your co-hosting Daddy.    What makes him tick? What does he bring to the show? And he accidentally did WHAT to his kids???    A great place to see if Two Dads Talking is for you, learn a little about why Tom is so screwed up, and feel better about yourself as a dad, enjoy the first edition of Who's Your Daddy.     

Nothing makes Tom happier than flexing his Psychology muscles, and this week Doug gives him a long leash to talk about the Rosenhan Experiment and a couple of other psychological lessons learned. We talk about labeling, expectation and its impact on outcome, and of course Bonnie Blue (heeeey John!).    The Rosenhan Experiment  Why Files: Liminal Spaces and the Backrooms    Follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected] 

What's the best way to spend hundreds of thousands of tax payer dollars earmarked for Narcotics investigations? Parlay bets on DraftKings, obviously.  Also, Birds aren't real (Australia knows the feeling), a tear-jerking Dadfail at a birthday party, an odd paternity test ultimatum, our gamer secret, Bonnie Blue has news, and the earth may be flat?  Episode links below, please consider joining our Patreon to support the show!  Consciousness: Octopuses and AI finally converge (RIP Costello, dream sweetly our friend) Police Chief Makes the Naughty List Bonnie Blue's Big Announcement    Chapters 0:20 Welcome, everybody. We're back. 3:46 A Birthday Party Adventure 8:57 Parenting Wins and Losses 15:42 Family Game Night 23:05 Police Chief Scandal 40:20 Paternity Test Dilemma 51:30 Trust in Relationships 53:03 Bonnie Blue's Breeding Event 1:01:28 Octopuses and Consciousness 1:12:22 Human Nature and AI 1:12:56 The Bird Conspiracy 1:17:51 Flat Earth vs. Bird Theory 1:28:45 Clash Royale Tournament 1:33:54 Dad Jokes and Wrap-Up  

Let's talk about Trump's potential Aliens reveal, why he's (maybe) going to do it, what happens after, and where we go from there. Tom also took a business trip to Key West (and you thought his Philly trips were wild), we've got an update for John (hey big guy), and we spend some time talking about false flags in the media. Oh, we also cross the line (time to get canceled). And someone pretends to be a dentist, performing root canals in her garage. At least, that's what we thought. Turns out it was a satirical article written for entertainment purposes only and we fell for it. Whoops, enjoy it anyway.  Episode links below, please consider joining our Patreon to support the show! For the price of a cup of coffee a month (and not even Starbucks coffee) you get early access to episodes, bonus content, and that warm and fuzzy feeling unique to helping a couple of middle aged dads continue spreading the good word.  Bonnie Blue out-porns herself   Bonnie Blue would crush it in prison.   Trump talks aliens (the extraterrestrial ones) ?   Everything Trump has said about UFOs and aliens in speeches so far.   More Trump on Aliens   Getting drilled in a garage. Satire we bought as real. Nicely done writer.   Chapters 0:21 Welcome Back to Dad's Talking 2:16 Tom's Trip to Key West 7:00 Arrival Shenanigans 7:54 Hotel Drama Unfolds 18:28 Vasectomy Revenge Story 22:50 Deception 29:32 Bonnie Blue Updates 40:27 Cards Against Humanity Debate 45:02 Trump and Aliums 49:16 The Alien Disclosure 51:28 Skepticism and Hope 55:24 Epstein Files Connection 56:39 Dark Humor and Distraction 58:09 Medical Knowledge from Atrocities 1:00:29 The Future of False Flags 1:14:37 Dentist in a Garage 1:16:55 Jokes 1:29:53 Final Thoughts on Controversy

The title pretty much says it all this week. Tom has an epic Dadfail (or at least it feels like one), Stairs are as evil as table corners, and Bonnie Blue is at it again (and again, and again, and again...). And of course we've got Dad Jokes and a smattering of other topics to distract us.    0:45 Welcome Back, Grumpy and Tired 2:06 Dadfail: Lice 8:20 Dad Fail Reflections 15:41 Stairs are Evil 20:46 Home Improvements and Procrastination 27:45 Pickle Puns and Office Shenanigans 33:26 The Controversial Baptism 43:03 Examining Publicity Stunts 54:32 The Curse of Bonnie Blue 57:16 Closing Dad Jokes and Reflections

We're back, baby! It's Doug's fault - he decided to have a surgery. So we talk about that, and dovetail into how it affects daily life and family. Tom also had a (near) Dad Fail, and a surprising bathroom encounter...no, those are not the same event. Also, pets and children are basically the same thing, right?   No links this week, because Doug talked too much.   Get your 2DT swag here. Follow us on socials using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected].   0:50 Welcome Back to Two Dads Talking 0:53 Heart Surgery Reveal 4:06 The Journey of My Heart 11:31 Unforeseen Complications 13:16 The Bacterial Infection 15:58 Preparing for Another Surgery 17:08 The Extensive Operation 29:04 Recovery Stories 29:53 Talking to the Kids 33:41 Looking Ahead 37:17 Reflections on the Experience 38:07 Getting Back to Normal 39:35 Future Visits and Updates 40:38 Closing Thoughts 47:54 Herpes and Major Surgery 50:22 Dad Fails and Lies 58:12 The Weight of Integrity 1:04:16 Parenting Struggles 1:12:15 Pets vs. Children 1:15:09 Bathroom Encounter and Revelations 1:18:57 Dad Jokes and Memories

Remember way back in episode 16 when we talked about the Toy Box Killer, one of the sickest and most deranged serial killers in American History? Now imagine that motherf@cker runs a tourist attraction. Welcome to McKamey Manor, the legal torture chamber run by a sick sadist in Tennessee (but who's judging?).  Billed as the scariest horror attraction in the US, there is an alleged cash prize for anyone who can make it through a 6-10 hour "immersive haunt experience." But what really happens at the manor? What happens when insiders reveal scams,  crimes, and hidden footage? And why the f@ck hasn't Russ McKamey been gangbanged by a flock of angry Snakeducks yet?  Also, on a less halloweenish subject, Tom gets Momsplained at a park and we tell dad jokes. Blah Blah Blah.    Super disturbing links from the show:  https://www.mckameymanor.com/  https://people.com/controversial-manor-tour-haunted-attraction-accused-rape-murder-charges-8682817?utm_source=chatgpt.com  https://people.com/mckamey-manor-still-open-despite-backlash-tennessee-haunted-house-arrest-owner-8724606    0:18  Welcome to the Podcast 11:54  Halloween Special Stories 33:48  The Dark Side of McKamey Manor 1:01:53  Momsplaining 1:10:56  Halloween Wrap-Up and Dad Homework

Halloween season continues! This week we're talking about a few urban legends you've probably never heard, ranging from Nigeria to Japan to the strange land of Virginia. Need a good ghost story to keep your teenage kid from making out under a dark bridge? You've got it. Trying to keep your kid in bed after lights-out? Got you covered. Looking to scare the crap out of your kid while they're on the toilet? Say hello to our little friend Hanako San. We've got ghost stories for every need this week, so light that campfire and make sure you follow / subscribe for s'more.    Additionally, Doug drops some exciting news, a woman was fake-sacrificed to Shiva at CERN a few years back, and kids are still running amok on their parents. Oh, and Dad jokes! We've got those of course, and Doug was on fire this week.    Do you have an urban legend you want us to tell on the podcast? Email it to [email protected]   Thanks for listening, Go Dad Go!    Show links and show notes:    Human Sacrifice at CERN? The real-life Bunny Man Madame Koi Koi (now a motion picture, perfect for kids of all ages) The legend of Hanako-San    0:18 Welcome and Surprises  2:13 Family Planning and Future Drama  3:43 A Dark Turn  6:48 Spooky Stories for Halloween  7:41 The Bunny Man Legend  26:27 Tales of Madame Koi Koi  36:05 Hanako San 41:01 Updates: Parenting Challenges  58:39 Discipline and Authority  1:01:31 Wrap-Up 

Meet Medium, Pranic Healer, and Akashic Record Reader Angie Welch.  Angie is a full-time professional medium making a special appearance to talk Spirits, Ghosts, the difference between the two, and much more. A viewer of spirits since she was a child, Angie gives basic insight into what she does as a medium, what the Akashic Records could unlock for you (and why the Christian Bible supports this), and why you should NOT buy your kids a Ouija Board (okay Doug and Bridget, you're right, you win).  Angie isn't just a practicing medium, she's also a teacher / coach, an artist, a healer and an occasional poker player (that last one seems unfair, right?).  Want to learn more about Angie, or schedule a reading or Pranic healing session?  Visit www.leapoffaithartistry.com  or find her social media at:  Facebook: www.facebook.com/MediumAngieWelch   Insta: www.instagram.com/mediumangiewelch  Happy Halloween everyone! Keep on Dadding, and watch out for Snakeducks!   

Tom kicks off the Halloween season with this special bonus episode, diving into the origins of Halloween.  When did it start? What does it have to do with a Big Mac? Where do Jack O' Lanterns come from? And why do we bob for apples?  Tom covers all of this in an ODDD-style bonus episode just in time to kick off our Halloween programming. Get ready for three weeks of tricks and treats!  If you like this short content, One-Dad-Deep-Dive style content, make sure to check out our Patreon  where you can find similar ODDDs on topics like Loki, Roopkund Lake, the Expansion of the Universe and more.  Thanks for tuning into this bonus episode, Go Dad Go! 

Every see a mom / dad with their kid and wonder, "which of you is the parent?" Let's talk a little about who's in control in the parent / child dynamic...  Also, we had a tragic shooting in Dallas that was also bizarre and, not to be cold to the tragedy, ironic?  We'll talk a little about Ian Roberts, and of course we have our Bonnie Blue update (no, she's not volunteering her time at Marineland Antibes yet).  Links for the show:  https://www.reuters.com/world/us/ice-arrests-des-moines-public-schools-superintendent-2025-09-26/?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://www.reuters.com/world/us/second-detainee-dies-week-after-dallas-ice-shooting-2025-09-30/?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://nypost.com/2025/09/28/lifestyle/bonnie-blues-mother-in-law-cant-wait-for-them-to-divorce/?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://twodadstalking.podbean.com/e/ghosts-groot-up-the-butt-and-ghoulish-jokes/   

Welp, we went there... from Bonnie Blue to a crooked Judge to a Police Officer who doesn't understand probable cause (or doesn't care) to black market Orca semen. Yup, that's the journey we're taking you on today. You're welcome.  Links for the show:  https://www.carscoops.com/2025/08/former-u-s-attorney-falsely-arrested-for-dui-hits-back-at-trooper/ https://www.wpr.org/news/wisconsin-judge-mcginnis-jailing-cement-contractor-barth https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cedvp89jy4do https://codes.ohio.gov/ohio-revised-code/chapter-4511?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://www.timesnownews.com/world/us/us-buzz/lily-phillips-says-she-slept-with-1113-men-in-12-hours-beating-bonnie-blues-claimed-record-article-152195535   Sign up for the 2DT Patreon for bonus content, including amazing Farsight reaction videos.  Get 2DT swag here. Follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected]. 

How do you think your kids would handle an emergency? This week's journey includes Tom finding out exactly how his kids would do, a creepy story courtesy of The Antiquarium of Sinister Happenings, a controversial substance found in (nearly) every home, John Cena....and Dad Jokes. Always Dad Jokes.   The Antiquarium of Sinister Happenings - Lot 028 Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division John Cena Punching Bag (If You Can See Him)   Come to the 2DT Patreon for bonus content, stay for the Farsight reaction videos.  Get 2DT swag here. Follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected]. 

In this episode we recorded weeks ago (yeah, we're that far behind). we talk about the Annunciation Church shooting and the responsibility of a parent for their children's actions (or lack thereof). There's also some finger pointing, some ethics debate, and of course Dad Jokes.  As always, you can sign up for the 2DT Patreon for bonus content, including amazing Farsight reaction videos.  Get 2DT swag here. Follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected]. 

This one's exactly as it sounds. Ethan Guo,  a 19-year old American Influencer, violated his flight plan and flew to Antarctica. It didn't go well...  Also, we've affected foreign policy. Hail Sealand.  Show links:  https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ethan-guo-antarctica-unauthorized-flight-stranded/  As always, you can sign up for the 2DT Patreon for bonus content, including amazing Farsight reaction videos.  Get 2DT swag here. Follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected]. 

So what do Newton, Einstein, Heinlein, Vonnegut and Doug have in common? Only time will tell. Doug makes his own landmark contribution to the philosophy of Time Theory, Tom gives an outline of our historical "understanding" of time, and EVERYONE needs to read Slaughterhouse 5. Also, Byron Black (not the tennis player) was recently executed in Tennessee. There's a lot of debate over whether or not he was tortured by the state on his "deathbed," so let's talk some ethics in capital punishment.  For early episodes, bonus content, and to directly support the show please consider joining the 2DT Patreon.  You can also rep 2DT by getting some 2DT swag here. Follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected]. 

Ever heard of remote viewing? How about an interplanetary father skipping out on child support? Did you know Zeus was really a sex-offending prison warden who underwent history's most impressive rebrands? Get ready to learn all about Farsight, the only "scientific approach to remote viewing" that we know of.  If you like this episode, remove viewing, or Farsight itself, you can subscribe and watch all of their videos at https://www.farsightprime.com/  If you just want our reaction videos (or to request we do reaction videos to specific content of theirs) join the 2DT Patreon and let us know.  Don't forget to follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected]. 

Instead of talking about Farsight (like we planned), Tom selfishly derailed the conversation and monopolized it, complaining about our favorite non-sponsor, a vehicle crash with the best witness ever, and a parent using Autism as an excuse to, well, not be a parent (or a good hooman). Make Tom feel better, get some 2DT swag here. Follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected]. 

We've been out of commission for a few weeks, but Tom can (sort of) breath again and Doug is done vacationing (this month).  We're regressing to our early episodes a little this week, covering a LOT of ground. Buckle up, we're explaining how health insurance bills providers, talking about bullies, introducing the One Big Beautiful Bill (Tom just gagged a little bit), becoming a worse spouse as a side effect of parenting, a real levitation device built in Denmark, our "two party" political system, and Tom's super-low standard for politicians to get his vote. Oh, we also tell boob jokes from Tom's Army days.  Links from this week's episode:  Brad Williams: I Bullied My Bully (did he start it? Or did he finish it?) Sound levitation in Denmark Musk founds "American Party"   And of course our Patreon! 

In the spirit of this week's episode, we're going to be radically honest with our listeners. We don't remember recording this episode (seriously). We recorded about three weeks ago, then Tom got STUPIDLY sick and Doug embarked on a new job and a camping journey, and aside from Will Smith's interview about Radical Honesty we don't remember what we talked about.  Enjoy, hopefully we weren't terrible, and send your thoughts on parenting styles to [email protected] ! 

Who loves fringe scienceand conspiracies? Tom does. Let's make the case that Mars isn't actually a planet, and how the rest of our solar system may support such an out of this world claim. Also, there's something wrong with Uranus.    Photo by CHATGPT and DougDad.  

There's been some recent trouble in paradise for Elon Musk and President Trump, so we decided to do the mature thing and speculate, assume, and otherwise infer the rest of the situation. Grab your card and punch in for another fun-filled fight night, featuring passport follies, possible slander (libel?), movie reviews, fun facts about Mars, and huffing Sunny Delight.   As always, you can sign up for the 2DT Patreon for bonus content.  Get 2DT swag here. Follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected].   

Welcome to Just One Dad Talking. This week Doug is unavailable, but we love you all enough that we don't want to leave you without a weekly dose of Dadding. We've covered a LOT of ground over two years and 63 episodes; dreaming cephalopods, Charlie Weis being a say-nothing-mushmouth for millions of dollars, redshirting our kids, the deuce fairy, even the fantasy land Narnia (or was it Australia?). Today, Tom's giving an update from one topic covered in each episode. We appreciate you, thanks for tuning in for two years, and a very special thank you to our Patrons. Enjoy this trip down memory lane, with updates on all things 2DT. 

If you survived last week's Snake Ducks, you're going to like this one. Have you ever heard of the Principality of Sealand? This place is amazing. In its short history, Sealand has riveting tales of pirates, a hostile coup, a daring helicopter rescue, and the Sovereign Prince Michael, who once captured his abductors and ransomed them back to their host nations. Seriously.  This place is amazing, and it would fit in Tom's front yard! It's the world's smallest sovereign nation (eh), but made for an easy hour of conversation, laughs, and inspiration. See Tom's review of Sealand here, and if you leave one of your own with "2DT" somewhere in the text we'll enter you in a raffle for an Amazon gift card at the end of the month.  As always, you can sign up for the 2DT Patreon for bonus content.  Get 2DT swag here. Follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected].   

We're covering another crucial pop culture debate, 100 Men vs. a Gorilla. According to AI, " We navigate the ups and downs of this intricate debate—kicking off with a light-hearted banter about their previous episodes before diving into a remarkably detailed analysis of various combat scenarios.  "Tom shares his deeper thoughts on military strategies, drawing parallels with historical guerrilla tactics, while Doug questions the feasibility and success rate of various strategies, ensuring the audience remains engaged. They cover the pros and cons of using different terrains to battle a gorilla, illustrating the unpredictability and humor that arises in such absurd scenarios."  Yup, AI got it about right.  We also go deep into a survey of Americans and Brits, curious about which animals people believe they COULD beat in a one on one fight.  Find the "can you beat that animal" survey here for a good time Go Ape for hours of bonus content on  the 2DT Patreon.  Show your support with 2DT swag here. Follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected].    Chapters (as labeled by AI, yes, we're really leaning into that this week to try things out):  Chapters 0:20  Welcome Back to Two Dads Talking 0:43  DNA Discoveries and Misunderstandings 3:39  Animal Battles: Men vs. Gorilla 8:01  Setting the Scene for the Fight 13:39  Forming the Ultimate Team 19:01  The Crazy Characters We Need 34:04  Philosophical Musings on Existence 41:16  The Goose Debate Begins 57:26  The Rat vs. Goose Showdown 59:12  Medium-Sized Dogs and Their Risks 1:01:55  The Eagle Conundrum 1:03:10  Dog vs. Eagle Showdown 1:07:53  Arena of Fights 1:08:07  Fight Song Selection 1:10:58  Large Dog Strategies 1:17:02  Chimpanzee Fear 1:19:37  Cobra Confrontation 1:24:31  Kangaroo Confidence 1:26:06  Wolf vs. Dog 1:28:48  Crocodile Challenges 1:31:57  Gorilla Zero Chance 1:33:22  Wild Animal Showdown 1:44:34  Spear vs. Strength 1:46:30  Elephant Impossibility 1:51:16  Grizzly Bear Realities 1:54:03  Dad Jokes Galore 2:03:03  Share Your Thoughts    

Remember the early episodes where we just kind of went EVERYWHERE? Today we're talking about Easter and the Pope, Doug humping a police car, Bonnie Blue (Yup, we're back on her like everyone else), a literal curse on American Presidents that may be a bit confused, and a 2DT-style debate about which movie was better, Moana or Frozen.    Want some Mo' (ana) 2DT in your life? Check out the hours of bonus content on  the 2DT Patreon.  Looking for something Elsa to show your support? Pick up some 2DT swag here.   Follow us on social channels using Linktree, and email your feedback, stories or Dad Jokes to [email protected].     

Our most heated discussion since Alabama vs IVF (Veni, Vidi, In-Vitro), this week we're talking about Elon Musk, DOGE, and ethics in government and oversight. How Dodgy is DOGE? Does Musk's conflict of interest Trump the potential for reform? We went long on this one, so buckle in for an argumentative, philosophical, ideological battle that lasted longer than Doug's bladder or Tom's patience. Go Dad Go.   Check out bonus content at the 2DT Patreon !   As always, we've got some links... Find links to relevant articles below and check out our Linktree for everything related to the cast!  DOGE Findings CBS  DOGE inaccuracies (trying to be nice here...) Politico   Musk on DOGE Mistakes, Moving Fast, and Correcting them - Fox News  Voters' Opinions - Politico  Musk and Conflict of Interest - EPI   

This week we have a special guest, Drunk Tom! In addition to our one-sided Tomocracy, we talk about the Jason Voorhees of elephants, butcher the last name of a national champion (sorry Paige!), trigger Tom on Dire Wolves being "de-extincted," and share "the worst thing we've ever done while drunk" stories.   Bring Yourself Back to Life with the 2DT Patreon and vote for Tom!   A toast to this week's links! Clark-Bueckers Comparison - ESPN Elephant Rage Right to Jail - Parks and Rec Animal House - Germans Bombed Pearl Harbor Bringing Dire Wolves Back to Life Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk Inmates Challenge Ray In Prison   Check out our new Linktree, the official sponsor of all Tomocratic PowerPoint sources! 

This is NOT a parenting podcast. At least, it's not a how-to.   If you're looking for a podcast on how to parent, on how to be a perfect father and set the gold standard for father of the year, then this is not the cast for you.  We're here for stories of "Dadding" gone wrong, to share life experiences so you can learn what NOT to do, and to share opinions on just about everything under the sun.  This is a podcast for being real, making dad jokes, and supporting other dads in a world that seems to have forgotten we're parents too.  If you're into embarrassing parenting stories, punny jokes, arguments about how (not) to eat cheeseburgers, conspiracy theories, sports talk, ankle-breaking ass slaps and other less-than-serious topics to help pass the time, then this is the podcast for you.  We're here to Go Dad Go!

New money-making hack: leave your children at a McDonald's while you go do...something. Follow us for more tips! While you wait to cash in, learn yourself about dad fails, angry non-euphemism beavers, dog attacks, and crazy facts. Also, don't order the hotcakes. Seriously, don't.   Join the 2DT Patreon and put a little happy in your meal.   Links you can Judo Chop! Hiya! Man Leaves Kids at McDonald's Updates Fatal Dog Attacks Infographic X - Stats that Sound Fake but are True   Check out our new Linktree! Would you like fries with that?

Who is Cain Velasquez, why did he open fire into a pickup truck before chasing it for eleven miles, and why are we sort of happy he only received a five-year prison sentence with time served? We're also talking a little about Vore, mental health professionals identifying as turtles, and possibly the greatest traffic stop interaction of all time.   Join the 2DT Patreon for your pet cat.   No hamsters were harmed in the making of these links: Cain Velasquez Summary Cats Can't Legally Drive Turtle Power! Cannibalism Fantasies   Check out our new Linktree! Eat it up (instead of someone else)!

Where else can you find a podcast that starts with sh*t and ends up talking about engineers and lawnmower purchases...and call centers...and pants turtles? Also, if you've ever wanted to feel sad for camels, Tom has you covered this week.   Join the 2DT Patreon and (maybe) save a camel!   No hamsters were harmed in the making of these links: Call Center Employee of the Month The Legendary TSA Pants Turtle   Check out the new Linktree! It's all that and a bag of chips!

Who knew taxes could be so fun? Just kidding, they still aren't. But they are weird when they apply (or don't) to baseballs, body parts, and breast implants. Also, Doug actually has a good idea for reforming property taxes? Shoutouts to Aaron Judge, Jude Law, quantum computing....and our apologies to Forest Whitaker. We love you.   Join the 2DT Patreon and write it off as an emotional expense!   These links are taxing.... When the IRS Knocks at Your Door - Rudy Ayoub How Much is the Baseball Worth? The IRS Had Reasonable Take, Once Upon a Time? Ohio's Organic Tax Laws Repo Men (Sorry, Forest)   We still have our fancy new Linktree! <Insert dad joke about roots.>

Okay, maybe that last one is just a fun reference at the end. But this is in fact an episode with a little bit of everything. So kick back, relax, and learn more from our dad fails. Oh, and if you get a chance to come back to life, don't touch the stuffies!   Buy us a cup of coffee! Join the 2DT Patreon!   The BETRAYAL is real in the links this week: Ghosteas Podcast on Spotify Yee Naaldlooshii Legend Now that we know these stock photos exist, you must also know.   Check out our fancy new Linktree! You'll be going places.

What do half-eaten sandwiches, chasing waterfalls, HIV, and nightclub promotions all have in common? That's right - Philadelphia train station bathrooms (how did you know?). As if that isn't boring enough, add in potential pregnancy updates, poker, and the most eclectic Uber drivers you'll find. When you rate us, don't forget 5 stars!   If you don't join the 2DT Patreon Tom will buy clothes for you.   The BETRAYAL is real in the links this week: Bonnie Blue is a Liar! So is Lily Phillips!   You know what isn't a lie? How cool you would look in our merch! You know what else doesn't lie? My hips. Anyway, here's our website. Send your completed Dad Homework to [email protected].

Ross Ulbricht (aka The Dread Pirate Roberts), the notorious mastermind behind the most infamous dark web marketplace, was pardoned by Trump. As usual, Tom and Doug have thoughts. What we didn't have (because we are dum-dums and forgot) was dad jokes, so let us make it up to you:  What do you call it when a blind person goes on the internet? The Dark Web   Sorry for the recent technical issues with getting new episodes out. Let the extra content on the 2DT Patreon soothe you.   Take These Links and Go Fluff Yourself: Ross Ulbricht Pardoned Great Timesuck covering this: 35 - Murder, Drugs, Porn, and Pirates: Tales From the Dark Web35   Don't forget your merch on the way out! This is a link to our website! This is a link to our email! [email protected]   P.S. Did you know Tom and Doug used to be in a band called the Dark Web? They eventually quit because they were always on Tor.

We're going all in talking about the recent escapades of Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips. We go deep into who did it better, how integral fluffing is, and add a little bit of psychoanalysis to make Freud proud.   We're bound to do another gift card giveaway, but you have to join the 2DT Patreon to have a chance!   Take These Links and Go Fluff Yourself: Bonnie Blue Claims World Record Lily Phillips Reflects in Documentary   We have a merch store. For realsies. You can find the merch store and more on our realsies website! How many men should be next? All answers welcome: [email protected]

Welcome to Jeopardy! Tom quizzes Doug on a whole host of the things we've discussed on the cast so far. And let's just say, we've covered a lot of (sometimes very weird) ground. Let us know what you want to see in the next 50 episodes! Go Dad Go!   Join the 2DT Patreon to get a shot at our next gift card giveaway!   Quality Links for You Found Here: Why Chick-Fil-A Employees Always Say 'My Pleasure' SNL - Celebrity Jeopardy   Don't forget some merch on your way out! Find all episodes on our website! Let us know what you want to hear about on the next 50: [email protected]

We're starting 2025 with a healthy dose of "WTH is wrong with people?" Let's talk about Gisèle Pelicot and the most disturbing marriage you've never heard of. It's the banality of evil, 2025. Happy (frickin') New Year!   Make joining the 2DT Patreon your New Year's resolution!   The Links Are Back, Baby! Missing Congresswoman ... ...and the funny video about it from X Gisèle Pelicot Historic Trial   New year should bring some new merch! Our website would make a lovely homepage for your computer. Just sayin'. We'll give you one more chance to send Christmas puns to us at [email protected]!

We've had a couple of controversial debates, but never anything quite like this. Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Also, why your kids should NOT watch Gremlins, dirty Santa jokes, and Doug's internet makes the naughty list. We're taking a short vacation after this week, we'll see everyone in 2025. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.    Drummers and Pipers are drumming and piping about the 2DT Patreon!   Lords are a-leaping and ladies are dancing over our links... Maids are Milking Die Hard and Other Movies for Christmas spirit Walken's Speech is so beautiful it helps swans swim and geese a-lay   Fiiiiiiive golden riiiiings....and our merch! Four calling birds our website! Send us three French hens, two turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree to us at [email protected]!

Steal your children's money and gamble it away, launder most of your income and hide it from the IRS, open a front Pizza shop that's too good to lay low, and fund interpretive art to spy on your enemies and undermine the Soviet zeitgeist. Merry Christmas everyone.     *This episode is not sponsored by DraftKings.    Did you hear about that cool place, the 2DT Patreon? You should go!   Laundry List of Links: DraftKings Sued Mikki Maze JRE #1527 - David Blaine One of Many Good Mob Pizza Stories   One thing you can bet on is our merch! Find all 2DT episodes and more on our website! What's your take on the DraftKings issue? Let us know at [email protected]!

There's a crazy (brilliant) (useless) (progressive) law being passed in Narnia...we mean Middle Earth...Neverland?...Australia! That's right, we're going back to the made-up land down under to talk about their recent plan to ban social media for kids under 16. And because we're not entirely sure Australia really exists (see episode 43 for more on that), we'll stumble down a rabbit hole or two and throw in our usual quota of Dad jokes.    The only thing better than following us on Facebook is signing up for the 2DT Patreon! More content every week!   What a Selection of Links (funniest at the bottom): The Proposed Ban's Inspiration Oscar Has Opinions (WSW Article) More Normal Take on BBC Quick, Good Explainer for Spice CNN Article on Pornhub Issue (Safe for Work, Don't Worry) Key and Peele Tom Used to Shush Doug   Just like Jaden, you don't have to choose between our website or our merch - have both! Drop us a line at [email protected]!

How far should protecting your children go? Luckily for you, we disagree slightly! #HunterBiden #Tuition #BookBanning   This livestream was through our official 2DT Facebook page! Yay! Follow 2DT on Facebook to get all the goods!   Don't forget to sign up for the 2DT Patreon, where you can choose discussion topics and find hours of other amazing content.   Will logged in during our livestream and thinks you should visit our links: President Biden Pardons Hunter Book Banning - NY Post Book Banning - Farthest Right/Left Opinion We Could Find Native Son Book Info College Tuition Growth   Will (probably) thinks our website is awesome. Will (definitely) thinks our merch is awesome. Will thinks you should send us an email. Note, Will is not the Hypno Toad....he is WAY more influential: [email protected]

What are you thankful for? Seriously. While a couple of turkeys like us get a little cheesy this time, it's important to focus on the meat and potatoes in your life. And it's okay to ham it up a little, too. Happy Thanksgiving all you wonderful people!   Don't forget to FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK - we need only 8 more followers to livestream from our 2DT page!   After you follow us on Facebook, sign up for the 2DT Patreon, which has, literally, hours of some amazing stuff.   Your Link, My Liege: Thanksgiving Facts (Some of these are dark!)   Our website is still here. Our merch is maximum awesome. Our email is two steps below a unicorn fart: [email protected]

Probably.   Also, FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK for the love of whatever you find holy - we need only 10 more followers to livestream from our real page...because Facebook be like that.   Beardy and his Australian brethren may be fake, but our reward is authentic: one last call to find them and you get one month free to the 2DT Patreon!   Find the Missing Links: Open Your Mind.... (Don't) Open Your Marriage... You Too Will Divide By Zero Brian Bishop Too, I Guess   Our website is probably okay. Our merch is authentically authentic. Our email is slightly less authentic but still legit: [email protected]