Waiting with Love

In this episode, Matt and Andrew explore how to manage travel plans amidst the unpredictability of fertility treatments like surrogacy and IVF. They share personal insights, practical tips, and emotional strategies to help others navigate this complex terrain while still living their lives and creating meaningful memories.Key Topics:The emotional impact of delaying or adjusting travel plans during fertility treatmentsHow financial milestones and unpredictable timelines influence travel decisionsStrategies for booking refundable trips and hotels to maintain flexibilityTiming travel around pregnancy milestones and medical proceduresThe importance of having a mental “placeholder” trip to stay hopefulBalancing logistical challenges with the desire to live fully during waiting periodsPractical tips for booking flights and accommodations with cancellations in mindThe significance of choosing shorter, local trips versus long-haul vacations for flexibilityHow setbacks in fertility journeys can sometimes open opportunities for meaningful travelThe role of control and uncertainty in planning big purchases or life changes during waitingTimestamps:00:00 - Welcome and introduction: Navigating waiting with hope00:48 - The challenges of planning travel during fertility treatments03:09 - The impact of large payments and unpredictable success on travel decisions06:14 - Identifying travel windows around pregnancy milestones08:44 - The importance of flexible bookings and cancellation policies11:16 - Planning trips with purpose: visiting loved ones before due dates13:17 - The emotional value of having trips on the calendar16:32 - Using trips as emotional “exit strategies”18:44 - How setbacks In fertility can create opportunities for meaningful travel20:08 - Practical tips for booking refundable flights and hotels22:09 - Prioritizing flexibility and local trips amid uncertainty24:22 - The importance of control and adapting plans during emotionally charged times26:25 - Reflecting on financial priorities and meaningful moments over material things27:45 - Final thoughts: Living fully despite the unpredictabilityConnect with Matt & Andrew:InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTubeResources & Links:Waiting With Love WebsiteOut and Abroad Luxury Travel & Blog

Waiting With Love: Does the Wait Ever Get Easier?On this episode of Waiting With Love, hosts Matt and Andrew explore the realities of long-term waiting—how, despite perceptions, it doesn’t necessarily get easier over time. They share personal insights, common misconceptions, and practical strategies for navigating the emotional rollercoaster of waiting, especially in the context of fertility and adoption journeys.Core Topics:The myth that waiting improves with time and the reality that expectations often shiftHow constant anxiety manifests in checking emails and phone calls during the surrogacy processThe role of patience, grace, and understanding within the support system of agencies and clinicsThe irrational fears and "rabbit holes" anxiety can lead to during extended waiting periodsTimestamps00:00 - Introducing the podcast's purpose and the theme of waiting00:49 - Addressing the misconception that waiting gets easier over time01:17 - Personal experiences of coping with ongoing waiting01:46 - How waiting can worsen or improve coping depending on circumstances02:06 - The constant checking and high alertness during surrogacy and adoption03:48 - Differences between adoption and surrogacy communication04:17 - The role of patience and setting expectations during long waits06:40 - Living in a constant state of fear and the unpredictability of updates07:48 - Living with uncertainty during moments of scheduled but delayed updates09:09 - The importance of extending grace to agencies and clinics10:16 - The misconception that delays mean inactivity or stagnation11:15 - Surprising aspects of long waiting periods and what remains hidden to outsiders13:09 - The emotional toll of expecting news on specific days14:40 - The timeline of embryo creation and waiting for results16:10 - The difficulty of not being caught off guard by unexpected update timings17:02 - Faith, hope, and personal coping strategies in waiting18:12 - The significance of recognizing that waiting energy can be drained but manageable19:09 - How anticipation influences emotional exhaustion20:24 - The impact of good communication with a birth mother during adoption vs. surrogacy22:36 - The controlled environment of surrogacy versus traditional conception anxiety24:29 - The importance of keeping busy and the effect on wait times25:45 - The emotional impact of being separated during busy periods27:06 - Irrational fears and the rabbit holes of anxiety28:03 - Encouragement for listeners: you’re not alone in this journey29:21 - Recognizing patterns in timing and managing expectations29:43 - Closing thoughts and the reminder to keep waiting with loveConnect with Matt & Andrew:InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTubeResources & Links:Waiting With Love WebsiteOut and Abroad Luxury Travel & Blog

Rethinking Infertility: The Challenges Facing Gay Men in Family BuildingIn this episode, Matt and Andrew explore a thought-provoking article on the conception of infertility within the gay community. They discuss the legal, financial, and emotional barriers that make family formation a complex reality for same-sex couples, highlighting the need for systemic change.Main Topics:How the definition of infertility varies and excludes gay menFinancial and insurance hurdles for LGBTQ+ family buildingThe emotional toll and privilege associated with pursuing parenthoodThe potential influence of lawsuits challenging discriminatory definitionsIn this episode:The surprising connection between infertility and same-sex parenthoodHow insurance policies often fail to support gay couplesThe significance of the New York lawsuit aiming to redefine infertility lawsReal-life implications and the high costs of surrogacy and IVFThe broader societal conversation around reproductive rights and equalityTimestamps:00:00 - Welcome and episode overview: Challenging traditional notions of infertility01:04 - The article from Cosmopolitan and its relevance to LGBTQ+ family building02:17 - The premise that gay men are viewed as infertile and its implications03:22 - Biological aspects of infertility and the article’s arguments04:50 - Limitations of insurance coverage for same-sex couples05:18 - The high costs of fertility treatments like IVF and surrogacy06:45 - State laws and their influence on fertility benefits and access07:12 - How current definitions exclude and disadvantage gay men08:12 - The lawsuit in New York and its potential to change laws09:40 - Out-of-pocket expenses and the financial burden for gay couples10:33 - The societal perception of infertility and economic barriers12:23 - The privilege of trying to build a family despite financial hurdles13:02 - Clarifying assumptions about biological parenthood in same-sex relationships14:01 - The legal landscape: Lawsuits fighting discrimination in fertility laws15:14 - State-specific restrictions and their impact on insurance coverage16:45 - Differences in coverage in Maryland and Arkansas discussed17:44 - The significance of legal wins and how they could influence national policy19:22 - The slow pace of legal and systemic change, and the importance of advocacy20:10 - Personal reflections on the privilege and emotional toll of the fertility journey21:46 - The need for systemic support and the emotional weight of waiting22:39 - Reflections on societal perceptions of infertility and family rights23:42 - The importance of ongoing legal battles and potential future changes28:14 - Final thoughts on the systemic inequities faced by gay men and the call for advocacyConnect with Matt & Andrew:InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTubeResources & Links:Waiting With Love WebsiteOut and Abroad Luxury Travel & Blog

Navigating International Surrogacy: The Logistics Behind the JourneyIn this episode, Matt and Andrew peel back the curtain on the complex, often overlooked logistics of international surrogacy. From legal hurdles, cross-country coordination, to the emotional weight of waiting, they share their real-world experience navigating this intricate process—highlighting why patience, understanding, and systemic awareness are crucial.Main Topics:The multi-country logistical challenges of international surrogacyThe roles and coordination of agencies, clinics, legal teams, and surrogatesHow time zones, holidays, and government processes impact communication and delaysEmotional toll and expectations during waiting periods for medical updates and legal stepsCommon misconceptions about surrogacy costs and processes in popular cultureThe importance of systemic transparency and understanding the process's complexityTimestamps:00:00 - Introduction: The messiness and hope in waiting for family-building01:19 - Surrogacy in multiple countries: logistics and complexity02:40 - Clarifying our experience and limits of expertise04:05 - The roles of agencies, clinics, legal teams, and the international project plan05:58 - The costs and misconceptions around international surrogacy07:12 - Communication delays across different countries and time zones08:41 - The systemic delays in receiving medical and legal updates09:35 - Emotional impact of waiting for test results and news10:39 - Real-world example of cross-country communication delays12:06 - The impact of non-urgent medical decisions and global holidays on timing14:02 - The process of bringing a baby home from another country16:30 - The emotional and logistical realities of waiting for pregnancy confirmation18:55 - Additional layers of complexity: travel, legal, and government hurdles21:06 - Parental leave and international logistics post-birth23:50 - The systemic design: why the process isn't quick or simple27:22 - The scientific and medical complexity of making a baby via surrogacy28:39 - Living with the uncertainty and waiting for news30:11 - Closing thoughts: resilience and hope in the waiting processThis episode emphasizes the systemic and logistical layers behind international surrogacy, illustrating why delays and uncertainties are often beyond individual control. It advocates for empathy and patience in understanding this complicated process that many hopeful parents navigate with resilience.Connect with Matt & Andrew:InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTubeResources & Links:Waiting With Love WebsiteOut and Abroad Luxury Travel & BlogThe Power of Hope in Difficult TimesSpecial Mention:If this episode resonates, please share it with someone, and visit our website for more info and support.

Navigating Hope and Fear in the Waiting SeasonIn this episode of Waiting with Love, Matt and Andrew explore the complex emotions that come with waiting for life-changing news—whether it's for a child, a medical breakthrough, or other long-held dreams. They discuss how moments of good news spark hope, but also bring a wave of fear, and share personal stories that highlight the delicate balance of excitement and caution.Main Topics:The emotional rollercoaster of hope and fear during fertility and adoption journeysThe significance of small moments of joy and anticipation amid uncertaintyStrategies for balancing optimism with realistic expectationsHow lengthening wait-times influence mental health and decision-makingThe role of logistics and small purchases in maintaining hope without emotional overwhelmKey Insights:The first hopeful moments, like matching with a birth mother or embryo quality reports, create fleeting but powerful feelings of possibilityPast experiences often cast a shadow of cautious hope, making full excitement feel unsafePractical decisions, such as buying small keepsakes or planning future moves, serve as anchors of hope and tangible steps toward eventual parenthoodThe importance of setting boundaries about sharing good news to manage anxietyTimestamps:00:00 - Welcome and introduction to waiting and hope02:16 - The challenge of balancing hope with fear during good news moments03:37 - Personal stories of moments when hope felt real and fleeting05:03 - Reflecting on the emotional impact of adoption and fertility news07:06 - Guarded hope vs. unguarded hope: past experiences and current mindset09:16 - How tools can help level expectations and manage excitement10:31 - The significance of small purchases and symbolic tokens in hope management12:05 - The different emotional states when buying nursery items pre-pregnancy14:04 - Moving to Maine as a symbol of future family planning15:43 - The evolution of their beliefs about parenthood and readiness18:38 - Strategies for balancing hope and patience over a long waiting period20:26 - Handling excitement vs. fear in ongoing fertility journeys22:17 - The importance of keeping good news private to reduce pressure23:34 - How logistics and small decisions support hope without leading to heartbreak24:49 - The difference between hope and anxiety, and finding balance26:51 - The importance of enjoying life even amid uncertainty28:19 - Final thoughts on the journey ahead and maintaining hopeConnect with Matt & Andrew:InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTubeResources & Links:Waiting With Love WebsiteOut and Abroad Luxury Travel & BlogThe Power of Hope in Difficult Times

Waiting with Love: Exploring LGBTQ+ Family Building, Challenges, and CommunityIn this open and transparent episode, hosts Matt and Andrew share their personal journey of navigating family building as a same-sex couple, and the surprising dynamics they've observed within their community and beyond. They emphasize the importance of shared experiences, vulnerability, and creating safe spaces for everyone on this path.Key Topics:The initial motivations behind starting "Waiting with Love" and addressing the lack of LGBTQ+ family-building resourcesUnexpected audience demographics: straight couples and single women finding relevance in their journeyThe emotional and physical challenges of surrogacy, IVF, and adoption experiencesThe social media landscape: over-competition, the "highlight reel," and the culture of coming out repeatedlyWhy many LGBTQ+ individuals and couples remain silent about their struggles with fertility and family buildingThe importance of vulnerability and creating a community where people can wait and process at their own paceReflection on societal norms, the need for patience, and fostering inclusive environments for family-building conversationsTimestamps:00:00 - Welcome and episode overview: Embracing the messy journey of waiting02:10 - Unexpected audience demographics and their implications05:28 - Reacting to the surprising engagement patterns of straight couples and singles09:13 - Insights on surrogacy, egg donation, and the human side of fertility journeys12:25 - Recognizing the emotional weight of waiting for news and treatment outcomes15:15 - Why the LGBTQ+ community is quieter about its fertility challenges20:01 - The impact of social media culture and the need for vulnerability21:59 - The recurring theme of coming out, questioning, and navigating societal expectations25:00 - Reflecting on past assumptions and the journey to build community27:25 - Creating safe spaces for silent struggles and readiness to engage28:29 - Closing thoughts: You are not alone, and waiting with love is the way forwardConnect with Matt & Andrew:InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTubeResources & Links:Waiting With Love WebsiteOut and Abroad Luxury Travel & BlogSpecial Mention:If this episode resonates, please share it with someone who might need reassurance they're not alone, and visit our website for more info and support.

Finding Joy in the Waiting RoomIn this heartfelt episode, Matt and Andrew share their personal journey of waiting, surprise, and finding joy alongside grief. They discuss how unexpected moments, like a surprise visit from a loved one, can reshape our perspective and deepen connections even amid uncertainty.In this episode:The significance of showing up and finding joy while waiting, especially during long periods of uncertaintyHow a surprise reunion in Italy transformed a milestone birthday and redefined family bondsThe importance of living in the present rather than solely focusing on future hopesReflections on how life's meaningful moments happen unexpectedly and are worth embracingBalancing grief and joy simultaneously without canceling out eitherLessons learned about living fully through shared experiences, meals, and deep conversationsThe role of community, connection, and intentional presence in navigating infertility and waitingThe idea of creating "pockets" of memorable moments that define a yearEncouragement to enjoy life now, even while in the waiting roomTimestamps:00:00 - Welcome and introduction to the theme of joy amid waiting00:48 - Sharing personal background and recent milestones01:53 - The impact of surprise visits and family connections02:23 - How joy persists during times of heavy grief03:07 - Andrew recounts planning a surprise trip to Italy04:37 - The emotional moment of the surprise reunion in Italy05:51 - Embracing family and belonging beyond biological ties07:04 - Holding grief and joy at the same time08:04 - Managing anxiety and the temptation to constantly check for updates09:28 - Reflecting on the past decade and lessons learned10:38 - The importance of savoring unexpected joys12:20 - How fertility windows influence travel and life decisions13:11 - The significance of meaningful conversations in deepening bonds14:39 - The power of shared meals and simple moments15:59 - Insights from Tuscany and cultural reflections19:31 - Realizing life's moments are more about how we live than waiting for a future event22:24 - The importance of appreciating life now, regardless of waiting24:20 - Recognizing the blessings amid struggles and setbacks25:39 - The value of core memories and living fully in the moment26:31 - The concept that while waiting continues, joy can be experienced in everyday life27:30 - Celebrating the unexpected and deeply meaningful human connections28:23 - Closing thoughts and encouragement to keep waiting with loveResources & Links:Waiting With Love WebsiteOut and Abroad Luxury Travel & BlogConnect with Matt & Andrew:InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTubeRemember, the journey to parenthood is unique for everyone. Embrace the timing that feels right for you, and find hope in each step forward.

When Good News Starts Feeling Less Good: Navigating "Good news" in Adoption, Surrogacy and IVFIn this episode, Matt and Andrew share their personal journey through adoption and surrogacy, exploring how their perception of good news has evolved over a lengthy, often challenging process. They discuss emotional resilience, managing expectations, and the balance between hope and caution, providing insights for anyone facing similar uncertainties.Key topics:The emotional rollercoaster of adoption and surrogacy journeysHow good news can begin to feel less exciting over timeThe impact of social media on perceptions of pregnancy and parenthoodManaging excitement and fear simultaneouslyThe importance of balancing hope with cautionDifferences in processing positive updates in complicated fertility journeysCommon fears and societal pressures in pregnancy and fertilityThe role of community, sharing, and vulnerability in copingPractical ways to handle good news without diminishing genuine joyThe influence of history and human evolution on our perceptions of pregnancy risksTimestamps:00:00 - Welcome and episode overview: navigating hope and disappointment02:05 - How the fertility and adoption journey shifts perspectives on good news03:25 - Reliving initial moments of joy amidst setbacks04:46 - The psychological effects of repeated disappointments05:44 - Managing risk and hope early in the adoption process07:16 - The control and unpredictability in surrogacy and adoption08:59 - How social media amplifies pregnancy joy and pressures11:37 - The historical context of pregnancy risks throughout human history12:36 - Social media’s portrayal of perfect pregnancies and its impact13:06 - The shared experiences of fertility struggles within communities14:37 - Holding back excitement: personal strategies and shared experiences15:01 - The emotional toll of multiple adoption setbacks16:15 - Anticipation versus defensive detachment in preparing for parenthood17:50 - Finding a healthy middle ground in celebrating milestones19:35 - How to process good news today: practical tips20:16 - Navigating emotional tensions within relationships during waiting periods21:38 - Shifting personal approaches to handling good news22:31 - The importance of staying present and grounded24:17 - Recognizing that pregnancy, historically, has always been challenging25:36 - Emphasizing that there’s no right or wrong way to feel or act26:36 - The role of small, no-regret decisions early in pregnancy27:16 - Encouragement to embrace authentic emotions without guilt27:47 - Wrapping up: encouragement for all in the waiting journeyResources & Links:Waiting With Love WebsiteConnect with Matt & Andrew:InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTube

Understanding the Emotional Landscape of Waiting for Parenthood: Support, Questions and CompassionIn this episode of Waiting with Love, Matt and Andrew delve into the often challenging questions and comments they encounter while navigating infertility, surrogacy, and adoption. They offer insights on how friends and family can provide meaningful support without causing inadvertent hurt, emphasizing the importance of empathy, patience, and listening.Main Topics Covered:The impact of insensitive questions about infertility and surrogacyHow to support loved ones going through the wait for parenthoodThe real costs and emotional toll of assisted reproductive technologiesNavigating common misconceptions and stereotypes about same-sex and single-parent familiesPractical advice on how friends can listen better and avoid harmful assumptionsPersonal stories illustrating the deep longing and sacrifice involved in their journeyWhy some questions are deeply inappropriate, and how to approach conversations with compassionTimestamps(0:01) – Welcome and introduction to the space of waiting and shared experience(1:01) – Discussing insensitive questions about the process and future hopes(2:10) – Addressing common misconceptions about travel, finances, and life while waiting(4:31) – The emotional toll behind assumptions and superficial comments(8:28) – The true costs of fertility treatments and surrogacy—beyond money(11:24) – Navigating invasive questions about parental roles and identity(17:02) – How to explain a non-traditional family structure to a child(19:23) – Balancing work, career, and the waiting process(23:32) – Support strategies for friends and loved ones(25:12) – Encouraging open communication and resources for both supporters and those waiting(26:11) – Closing thoughts and ways to connect with the communityResources & Links:Waiting with Love Website & SubstackSupporting Someone Through Infertility (Guide)Book: The Boy Crisis by Warren Farrell (amazon)Connect with Matt & Andrew:InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTubeRemember, listening with compassion and offering support without judgment can make a significant difference in the lives of those navigating complex paths to parenthood. Your kindness and understanding matter more than you realize.

Embracing Parenthood and Hope at 40: A Conversation on Waiting, Growth, and New BeginningsIn this heartfelt episode, Matt and Andrew reflect on navigating the journey to parenthood later in life, turning 40, and finding hope and strength in the process of waiting. They share personal insights, challenges, and the many benefits of becoming parents at this stage, offering encouragement to others walking a similar path.Key Topics:The emotional and practical realities of waiting to become parents over 40How life experiences and maturity shape parenting readinessThe impact of career stability and financial planning on delaying parenthoodThe significance of living in the moment versus future expectationsHow aging influences perspectives on longevity, energy, and relationshipsThe benefits of patience, resilience, and emotional depth gained through life's trialsCelebrating the unpredictability of life and embracing changeFamous examples of having children after 40 to inspire hopeTimestamps:00:00 - Welcome and introduction to the episode's theme of waiting and hope02:10 - Reflections on life milestones and expectations at age 4003:26 - Comparing visions of life 20 and 10 years ago04:16 - Challenges and surprises in the parenthood journey05:54 - Career trajectories and their influence on family planning07:11 - Perspectives on mortality and aging in midlife08:36 - Fears around energy and longevity for new parents09:54 - The emotional and financial advantages of waiting11:33 - Personal growth, patience, and resilience through challenges13:21 - Building a stable future for children and the role of finances15:17 - The value of living in the present and appreciating current moments16:36 - How age influences energy levels and opportunities for play18:10 - The importance of community, safety, and environment for raising kids19:08 - How late parenthood can be advantageous financially and professionally21:01 - Celebrating mutual career stability and readiness22:49 - Insights on why the timing now feels right for parenthood23:35 - Advice to younger selves: focusing on authentic happiness over impressing others24:24 - The qualities that age and experience contribute to parenting25:39 - Personal growth from fostering patience and genuine connections26:34 - The profound impact of being present for children and family27:47 - Recognizing that imperfection is part of the journey and embracing it29:04 - Spotlight on celebrities who became parents after 4029:21 - Wishing Matt a happy birthday and closing encouragementResources & Links:Waiting With Love WebsiteConnect with Matt & Andrew:InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTubeRemember, the journey to parenthood is unique for everyone. Embrace the timing that feels right for you, and find hope in each step forward.

Navigating Inconsiderate Questions During Fertility and Adoption JourneysIn this episode, Matt and Andrew shed light on the common questions friends and family ask that can unintentionally hurt those going through infertility, surrogacy or adoption. They offer practical, compassionate alternatives to foster understanding and support.Key TopicsThe impact of questions like "Any updates?" and why they can feel invasiveHow presuming progress or timing can add emotional strainThe importance of silence and space vs. rigorous questioningWhy questions about "how long" or "why so long" may reflect lack of understandingShifting from questions to supportive statements and affirmationsPractical ways to show up compassionately without pressureThe significance of understanding legal, medical, and emotional complexities behind fertility processesHow to foster genuine connection through empathetic communicationTimestamps00:00 - Introduction: The importance of thoughtful questions during waiting periods00:45 - Why "Any updates?" can feel dismissive or invasive02:15 - Presumptive questions and their emotional toll03:45 - Alternatives to invasive questions: how to show support05:30 - The role of silence and space in conversations about infertility07:45 - Why "why is it taking so long?" misses the complexity09:50 - Questions about agency quality and perceived incompetency11:30 - Managing questions about how many tries or when to stop13:10 - The importance of understanding legal and medical processes behind surrogacy and adoption15:00 - Reframing questions into supportive statements16:20 - Recognizing the emotional fragility behind these inquiries17:45 - How to genuinely support someone without adding pressure19:50 - Summary: The power of statements over questions21:00 - Final thoughts: Offer presence, space, and empathy instead of problem-solving27:20 - Closing remarks: The value of warmth and understanding in supporting loved onesResources & LinksWaiting With Love CommunityUnderstanding Surrogacy Law (example link for context)Emotional Support & Fertility ResourcesConnect with Matt & Andrew:InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTubeRemember, the most meaningful support comes from offering understanding, space, and compassion. Instead of questions, consider statements that validate feelings and show genuine care.

In this episode of "Waiting with Love," Matt and Andrew explore the emotional landscape of long-term infertility and the importance of community, fellowship, and shared experience. They discuss the limitations of conventional advice and highlight the power of compassion, laughter, and authentic connection in navigating challenging journeys.KEY TOPICSThe impact of unsolicited and superficial advice during infertility strugglesThe importance of fellowship and shared experiences in emotional resilienceThe role of laughter, validation, and non-judgmental supportNavigating logistical stresses and emotional rollercoasters in international surrogacyHow honest conversations and connection reduce feelings of isolationThe significance of accepting what cannot be changed and focusing on what canThe benefits of meditation, spiritual moments, and grounding practicesEncouragement to prioritize genuine support over well-meaning but unhelpful questionsTIMESTAMPS00:00 - Welcome and overview of navigating waiting with hope and community01:09 - Differentiating advice from genuine fellowship and understanding02:09 - Why traditional advice often falls flat in difficult journeys03:23 - The frustration of unanswered questions about fertility setbacks04:18 - Parallels between building a house and the fertility process05:41 - The comfort found in fellowship with others who understand07:19 - The power of shared stories and normalization in community08:40 - How connection reduces feelings of loneliness, even with children09:46 - The importance of validation and feeling witnessed11:07 - The role of laughter and humor during setbacks12:24 - Shared experiences in addiction, recovery, and infertility13:41 - The complexity and divine work behind surrogacy and biological processes15:22 - The unpredictability and logistical stresses of international surrogacy16:32 - Moving beyond stress through community and mutual understanding18:28 - Recognizing that no levers remain to accelerate the journey19:13 - The serenity prayer and acceptance of what can’t be changed20:39 - The value of grounding practices like meditation and spiritual moments22:40 - The importance of living in the present and allowing support to scratch the itch23:33 - Practical grounding tips: meditation and self-care strategies24:18 - Final thoughts: You are not alone—reach out, connect, and keep waiting with loveRESOURCES & LINKSWaiting with Love - WebsiteMeditation apps and guided meditations on YouTubeConnect with Matt & Andrew:Email us: [email protected]

Navigating Life While Waiting: Embracing Feelings and Continuing ForwardIn this heartfelt episode, Matt and Andrew explore how life's inevitable hardships—like loss and illness—intersect with ongoing journeys of hope, such as fertility or family building. They emphasize the importance of allowing oneself to feel, process, and live fully even amidst pain, ultimately advocating for a balanced approach to grief and responsibilities.In this episode:How life continues despite significant challenges like death and illnessThe importance of processing emotions rather than suppressing themStrategies for staying present and living intentionally during tough timesThe difference between healthy distraction and unhealthy avoidanceLessons learned from past setbacks in fertility and family journeysThe role of focus, perspective, and community support during grievingHow to manage obsession over processes and embrace surprisesPractical advice for balancing grief with daily responsibilitiesTimestamps:00:00 - Introduction: Why it's important to navigate life amidst challenges01:10 - Continuing life after a family member's death and personal health issues01:54 - The balance between grieving and carrying on02:49 - Early in the journey: unhealthy coping mechanisms and lessons learned03:23 - The importance of feeling feelings and not compartmentalizing04:16 - Finding grounding through shared family time and positive distractions04:51 - Perspective shifts: recognizing life's surprises beyond fertility struggles05:18 - The value of life continuing to help process grief and maintain hope06:18 - Moving from obsession to healthy engagement with the process07:01 - The dangers of being obsessed with updates and control08:10 - Personal reactions to shocking news: fixer mentality vs. emotional processing08:57 - Practical steps taken during crises: cooking, logistics, and support11:27 - Different ways people process hardship: avoiding and breaking down12:48 - The importance of authentic living and allowing feelings to surface13:17 - Past setbacks, like issues with an exchange student, and living in the moment14:08 - Supporting others while managing your own grief15:15 - Pretending vs. genuine presence in difficult moments16:09 - The importance of resilience and muscle memory for future setbacks17:19 - Continuing to live through grief and supporting others18:30 - Finding healthy outlets and perspective shifts19:30 - The concept of life's terms and acceptance of setbacks20:37 - Reflection on the unpredictability of fertility journeys and timing21:13 - Embracing setbacks as part of growth and life’s journey22:28 - Balancing genuine emotions with daily responsibilities23:10 - Hope and grief can coexist; importance of processing emotionsResources & Links:Waiting With Love WebsiteAmazon - Emotional Resilience BooksConnect:InstagramFacebookTikTokYouTube

SummaryIn this conversation, Andrew and Matt reflect on their decade-long journey of trying to become parents through adoption and surrogacy. They discuss the emotional evolution from initial hope and excitement to a more guarded cynicism, and ultimately to a place of acceptance and finding joy in the present. They explore the coping mechanisms they've developed, the impact of setbacks, and the importance of living in the moment while waiting for their dreams to materialize.TakeawaysThe emotional journey of trying to have a child evolves over time. Initial excitement can turn into cynicism due to setbacks. Coping mechanisms can disguise themselves as excitement. A phone call from the agency is often bad news.Living in the moment is crucial while waiting for a child.Setbacks have become easier to handle over time. It's important to separate hope from guarantees. Personal growth occurs during the waiting period. Comparison to others can lead to resentment and cynicism.Finding joy in the present can help alleviate anxiety about the future.Sound bites"Do we want a baby? Yes.""What gives you hope today?""We are where we are."Chapters00:00 The Journey Begins: From Hope to Cynicism05:45 The Emotional Rollercoaster of Adoption10:00 Coping Mechanisms: Cynicism and Realism17:04 Finding Hope Amidst Uncertainty22:05 Living in the Moment: Building a Life While WaitingKeywordsadoption, surrogacy, hope, cynicism, emotional journey, parenting, coping mechanisms, personal growth, waiting, life lessons.

SummaryIn this episode, Andrew and Matt discuss the complexities of navigating conversations around infertility and surrogacy, particularly within the LGBTQ community. They explore the expectation gap between reality and what one hopes for, the challenges of seeking support from family and friends, and the importance of compassionate listening. The conversation emphasizes the need for understanding and patience from those who wish to support individuals on this journey, highlighting that silence does not equate to a lack of progress. The episode concludes with a call for community support and sharing experiences to help others in similar situations.TakeawaysThe expectation gap between reality and hopes can be challenging. Conversations about infertility can feel high stakes. Support from friends and family is often well-intentioned but can miss the mark. It's important to articulate what kind of support is needed. Questions about the process can feel invasive and overwhelming.Compassionate listening is more valuable than probing questions.Silence from loved ones doesn't mean there is no progress.The journey of infertility is often filled with emotional ups and downs. Sharing experiences can help others feel less alone. Community support is crucial for those navigating infertility.Sound bites"It's a hard thing to talk about.""Everyone has good intentions.""It's a very long journey for you."Chapters00:00 Introduction and Gratitude00:57 The Expectation Gap in Infertility02:52 Navigating Conversations About Infertility05:19 Desiring Support Without Probing Questions09:11 Understanding the Complexity of Surrogacy11:08 The Challenge of Well-Intentioned Questions12:36 The Need for Compassionate Support14:00 How to Check In Without PressureKeywordsinfertility, LGBTQ, surrogacy, support, expectations, family, conversations, emotional journey, compassion, community

SummaryIn this episode, Matt and Andrew reflect on their journey through the complexities of building a family, particularly focusing on the concept of 'no regrets'. They share personal anecdotes from their experiences with adoption, including the emotional rollercoaster of being matched with birth mothers and the subsequent challenges they faced. The conversation highlights the importance of recognizing what can be controlled in uncertain situations and how to shift perspectives from regret to learning experiences. They emphasize the need to balance living in the moment while planning for the future, especially when navigating the financial and emotional aspects of family building. As they delve deeper into their experiences, Matt and Andrew discuss the mental shifts they've made to embrace a more positive outlook. They talk about the significance of creating a fulfilling life outside of their family-building journey, including travel and personal growth. The episode serves as a candid exploration of the ups and downs of their path, offering insights and encouragement to others in similar situations.Keywordsfamily building, no regret work, adoption journey, emotional challenges, personal growth, parenting, uncertainty, mental health, travel experiences, LGBTQ+ parentingTakeaways'What can we do that no matter what the outcome is, we wouldn't regret doing?''We were desperately trying to control this process.''Every lesson has its purpose.''We have to remind ourselves that we also still have a marriage.''It's important to find what your passions are.'Sound Bites"What can we do that no matter what the outcome is?""We were desperately trying to control this process.""Everything we did was all about we're gonna have kids one day."Chapters00:00Introduction and Reflections on the Journey08:48Shifting Perspectives on Regret15:53Embracing Life Beyond Family Building

SummaryIn the first full-length podcast, Matt and Andrew reflect on their journey into the world of podcasting, sharing the challenges they faced in selecting topics and building credibility. They discuss the complexities of going public with their personal experiences surrounding adoption and surrogacy, emphasizing the emotional weight of sharing their story. The duo candidly admits that the process has been more difficult than anticipated, revealing their struggles with technology and communication as they navigate their new venture. They aim to create a space for shared experiences, focusing on authenticity rather than simply providing educational content about adoption and surrogacy.Keywordspodcasting, adoption, surrogacy, personal journey, LGBTQ parenting, shared experiences, credibility, emotional challenges, starting a podcast, navigating parenthoodTakeawaysIt's harder to start a podcast than we thought.Building credibility is a challenge when sharing personal stories.Going public about our journey is both scary and liberating.We want to create a space for shared experiences, not just educational content.Finding the right topics to discuss has been a struggle.Sound Bites"It's harder to start a podcast than we thought.""We don't want this to be just an academic lecture.""This journey's lasted now over 10 years."Chapters00:00 Welcome to Our Podcast Journey01:51 The Challenges of Topic Selection06:58 Building Credibility and Authenticity12:18 Navigating Personal Experiences17:28 Going Public with Our StorySocialsInstagram @waiting_withloveFacebook: Waiting with Love

In this inaugural episode of 'Waiting with Love', hosts Matt and Andrew share their personal journey of waiting to build a family over the past decade. They discuss the emotional challenges, the silence surrounding their struggles, and the importance of creating a supportive community for those navigating similar experiences. The episode emphasizes the coexistence of hope and grief during the waiting process and invites listeners to join them in a fellowship of shared experiences.TakeawaysYou don't have to wait without hope.Waiting for a family can be a long and emotional journey.Silence can often feel protective but may actually harm us.Social media often showcases only success stories, not the struggles.Creating a space for shared experiences is essential.There is a lack of public support for those still waiting.This podcast is for those in the messy middle of waiting.It's important to seek professional help when needed.Life continues, and joy can still be found during waiting.Hope and grief can coexist in the waiting process.Sound Bites"You don't have to wait without hope.""Silence was actually the opposite of protection.""This space doesn't exist and it's needed."Chapters00:00Introduction to Waiting with Love01:20The Journey of Waiting for a Family05:05Navigating the Emotional Weight of Waiting09:13Creating a Space for Shared Experiences11:05Hope and Grief Coexisting in the Waiting RoomSocialsInstagram @waiting_withloveFacebook: Waiting with Love