006 Stop Trying to Fix People

Dr Toni Reilly introduces intuitive counselling as an everyday relationship skill and explains the difference between advice and counselling: advice removes responsibility, while counselling helps people understand themselves, own their emotions, and make their own choices. She shares personal stories from seeking validation in her first counselling session, to misreading her child’s need for acknowledgement, to recognising her own self-control, to show how “fixing” and analysis can become projection. The episode focuses on listening as a conscious practice: noticing what’s said and what’s underneath it, while also tracking your own reactions, discomfort, and urge to rescue. Reilly outlines how accurate reflection expands awareness and shifts behaviour, and challenges listeners to tolerate emotion without neutralising it. 00:00 Stop Fixing Start Listening00:58 What Counseling Really Is02:14 My First Counseling Lesson03:17 The Skill of Presence04:35 Projection at Home05:49 Hear the Pattern Beneath07:18 My Control Wake Up Call09:32 Avoid Projecting Ask Instead11:38 Hold Emotion Don't Neutralise12:45 Weekly Takeaway and ClosingSubmit a Question or Contact UsShare your question, suggest a future topic or tell us your story. It may be featured in a future episode here.Websitehttps://tonireillyinstitute.comFollow SoulLife® PsychologyInstagramYouTubeSpecial thanks to The Polish Ambassador featuring Zion I and Nitty Scott for the podcast music.