#028 Monica Tanner: Stop Going To Bed Angry? Maybe Sleep On It

Send us a textWhat if the problem isn’t your partner, but the pattern you’re both trapped in? Today we unpack the hidden scripts that drive your fights—attachment styles, nervous system triggers, and the “I’ll just fix it” reflex that keeps real repair out of reach—and share the small, repeatable moves that make your relationship feel safe again.Relationship coach and author Monica Tanner joins us to translate attachment theory into everyday language you can actually use. We talk about the anxious spiral that begs to solve everything before bed, the secure partner who thinks space is helpful, and the avoidant impulse to check out when conflict heats up. Monica offers a simple bedtime reassurance line that soothes panic without forcing resolution, plus a framework for asking clearly for what you need so your partner doesn’t have to read your mind.Then we take a swing at a sacred cow: compromise. Instead of splitting the difference and keeping score, Monica teaches collaboration—mapping the values under each position, naming reservations, and designing a third way that fits both people. From money and travel to sex, parenting, and daily routines, we show how to build your unique “our way” and stop measuring your marriage against social media’s fantasy standards. You’ll also learn gentle practices for tending your adaptive child, co-regulating in hard moments, and turning repair into a ritual so conflicts get shorter, softer, and actually productive.If you’re ready to move from anxiety to secure connection, from quick fixes to lasting change, this conversation is your roadmap. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find the show—what’s one script you’ll try this week?👉🏻 Pick up a copy of Monica's Book Bad Marriage Advice https://www.badmarriageadvice.com/get-the-book 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1