Sit Around the Fire

PODCAST · health

Sit Around the Fire

🔥 Sit Around the Fire 🔥For anyone seeking healing, growth, and connection — including first responders, military members, and their families.Welcome to Sit Around the Fire — the space where stories ignite transformation. Hosted by a former first responder turned licensed professional counselor and certified hypnotherapist, this podcast blends real-life experiences, powerful teachings, and practical tools for mental and physical health.Each episode invites you to slow down, reflect, and find your spark again. Together, we explore mindfulness, stress management, trauma recovery, and PTSD healing — all through the lens of someone who’s lived it. You’ll hear raw conversations with first responders, veterans, and mental health experts as well as other incredible human beings with amazing stories and missions who share their wisdom on how to move from burnout to balance, from survival mode to thrivin

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    #051 The Real Reason Willpower Isn't Working

    Have you ever known exactly what you should do — and still found yourself repeating the same patterns anyway?That frustration isn't a character flaw. It's neuroscience.In this episode, Ashlea Dillard breaks down why the subconscious mind holds onto emotional patterns — even painful ones — and how modern hypnotherapy gives us a direct pathway to change them. Drawing on the foundational clinical work of Gil Boyne and the transpersonal frameworks of Matthew Brownstein, Ashlea explores how affect bridge techniques, neuroplasticity, and emotionally resonant imagery work together to create the kind of transformation that actually sticks.You'll walk away understanding:Why your subconscious is protecting you, not sabotaging you — and why that matters for healingHow neuroplasticity works and why repetition, emotion, and focused attention are the real drivers of lasting changeWhy intellectual insight alone often isn't enough — and what hypnotherapy does differentlyThe one reflection practice that can help you start identifying the stories keeping you stuckIf you've ever felt like you're trying to change but something invisible keeps pulling you back — this episode is for you.🔥 New episodes every week.Find all resources at sitaroundthefire.org and ashleadillard.com.

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    #050 Why Constant Fixing Keeps You Trapped—Shift from Doing to Being ft. Mitch Webb

    Are you exhausted from trying to fix yourself? More supplements, better routines, stricter discipline—and still your body feels like it's working against you. In this episode, I sit down with Mitch Webb to talk about something most healing conversations miss: the idea that your body isn't broken—it's actually doing exactly what it was designed to do. Your symptoms, your anxiety, your need to control everything? Those aren't signs of failure. They're signs of a nervous system that learned to protect you. Mitch gets raw and real about his own journey with control—how diet rules, rituals, and the relentless pursuit of perfection kept him stuck in a cycle of dysregulation. We trace how that need for certainty is rooted in early wounds, and why the path forward isn't about doing more—it's about finally learning to be. In this episode, we explore:• Why your survival responses are signs of resilience, not failure• How control becomes a safety mechanism—and what it costs you• The link between trauma, attachment, and the need for certainty• How to build a flexible nervous system by creating new experiences of safety• Why vulnerability isn't weakness—it's your greatest healing tool• Practical ways to shift from doing to being and finally feel at home in your skin This one isn't just for first responders or trauma survivors. It's for anyone exhausted by the endless chase for perfection and quick fixes. If you're ready to stop fighting your body and start trusting it, this episode is your permission slip. Connect with Mitch Webb at his website and social channels for personalized coaching and [email protected] New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you never miss one. 🎧 Listen & subscribe: sitaroundthefire.org | ashleadillard.com

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    #049 The Hidden History of Hypnosis They Don't Teach You

    What if everything you believe about yourself... isn't actually you?If you've ever felt stuck in the same patterns, overwhelmed by your own thoughts, or like healing is always just out of reach — this episode will change how you see your mind.In this powerful solo episode of Sit Around the Fire, we go deep into hypnosis, the subconscious mind, and emotional healing — exploring how this ancient, misunderstood practice is one of the most accessible tools for real, lasting transformation.You'll discover the surprising history of hypnosis — from ancient Egyptian sleep temples and Greek healing rituals to the revolutionary work of James Braid and Milton Erickson — and why it's always been a natural part of the human experience, not a stage trick.More importantly, you'll learn how your subconscious mind gets programmed through repetition, environment, and emotional experience — and how reprogramming those beliefs is the key to breaking free from overthinking, emotional patterns, and cycles that feel impossible to escape.You're not broken. You've been programmed. And that means you can change.✨ What you'll learn:How hypnosis works and its role in mental health and emotional healingThe ancient roots of hypnosis across Egyptian, Greek, and shamanic traditionsHow everyday trance states (driving, scrolling, daydreaming) are naturally hypnoticWhy your subconscious is shaped by repetition — not truthHow awareness becomes the first act of reprogramming and personal growth🔥 Quotable moments:"Hypnosis is a natural, universal human experience" — and you're probably already doing it."You're not broken — you've been programmed" — which means the code can be rewritten."Your inner voice is a form of hypnotic suggestion" — so what has yours been telling you?🎧 Episode chapters: 00:00 — Understanding everyday hypnosis 03:50 — The historical context of hypnosis 15:58 — Hypnosis in everyday life 25:21 — Reprogramming the mind🔑 Keywords: hypnosis for emotional healing, subconscious mind reprogramming, how hypnosis works, mental health podcast, healing podcast, subconscious beliefs, reprogramming the mind, self-healing, trauma healing, hypnotherapy, nervous system regulation, inner transformation, behavior change, mindset shift, personal growth, how to stop overthinking, hypnosis explained, neuro-hypnotism, awareness practice, trance states, ancient healing practices🌐 Resources mentioned:Ancient Egyptian sleep templesMilton Erickson FoundationJames Braid and neuro-hypnotismFranz Anton Mesmer and animal magnetismReady to rewire?If this episode hit home — share it with someone who's been stuck in the same loop. They need to hear this.And if you're ready to experience this work firsthand, visit ashleadillard.com to book a session or explore how hypnosis can help you break old patterns, shift your subconscious, and step into the life you actually want.

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    #048 From Combat to Civilian: Mental Health After the Military | Anthony Dyer

    What happens when the mission ends — but the war inside doesn't?In this episode, Ashlea Dillard sits down with Anthony Dyer, a former Air Force combat missions aviator, to explore one of the most underrepresented conversations in military mental health: what it truly costs to serve, and what it takes to heal.Anthony opens up about his firsthand experience with trauma, survivor's guilt, and the identity crisis that so many veterans face when they transition to civilian life. He speaks candidly about his battle with alcoholism, the stigma around seeking help in the military, and how he ultimately found healing through community, purpose, and helping others.Whether you're a veteran navigating the transition out of service, a mental health professional working with military populations, or someone who loves a service member — this episode will meet you where you are.In this episode, you'll hear:Why mental health stigma runs so deep in military culture — and how to push past itThe real impact of survivor's guilt on identity and daily lifeHow prolonged exposure therapy became a turning point in Anthony's recoveryWhy "helping is healing" — and how serving others became his path forwardThe story behind his book Moon Child and the inspiration it offers to others still fighting their own battles"It's okay not to be okay." "Helping is healing." "It's not if, it's when that hits."Anthony's journey is one of raw honesty, hard-won perseverance, and the quiet power of community. This is a conversation that needed to be had.🎧 Listen now — and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.🔗 Link to Anthony's Book Moon Child☎️ Ready to dive into your own work? Schedule your free 30 minute consultation and explore more at ashleadillard.comKeywords: military mental health, veteran trauma, survivor's guilt, Air Force veteran, identity after military service, transition to civilian life, alcoholism recovery, healing and perseverance, veteran community support, Moon Child book Anthony Dyer

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    #047 Rewire Your Brain with Words: The Power of Self-Talk

    The most important conversation you'll ever have is the one happening in your own mind. And chances are, you're not paying attention to it.In this solo episode, Ashlea Dillard breaks down how the language you use every day — the phrases you repeat on autopilot, the words you say under your breath when things get hard — is literally shaping your brain. Your subconscious doesn't filter truth from repetition. It just builds around whatever you keep saying. So when you're walking around telling yourself "I'm so tired," "I can't handle this," or "I'm just an anxious person" — you're not being honest with yourself. You're giving your nervous system instructions.Ashlea walks through the most common phrases that quietly keep you stuck, shares practical language swaps rooted in neuroplasticity that shift something real (without bypassing what's true), and goes deeper into how the words you repeat every day stop being things you say — and start becoming who you believe you are. This one is going to hit. Come ready to listen differently.In this episode:— Why your brain treats repetition as reality— How repetition + emotion strengthen the neural pathways behind your beliefs— The four phrases doing the most damage (and what to say instead)— Why "I get to" instead of "I have to" creates genuine agency— How your daily language is quietly building your identity right nowResources mentioned:— Neuroplasticity and the Brain's Ability to Change: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/neuroplasticity— The Power of Positive Self-Talk by Louise Hay: https://www.amazon.com/You-Can-Heal-Your-Life/dp/0937611018— Mindset Works — Developing a Growth Mindset: https://www.mindsetworks.com/— Learn more about Ashlea: https://ashleadillard.com/mindset, self-talk, neuroplasticity, mental health, personal growth, language, identity, emotional health

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    #046 He Faced the Unsurvivable — Here's What He Found on the Other Side Ty Gipson

    What does it take to survive the unsurvivable — and come out the other side with purpose?In this episode of Sit Around the Fire, host Ashlea Dillard sits down with Ty Gipson — motivational speaker, organ transplant recipient, and living proof that adversity doesn't get the last word.Ty was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at just 11 years old. For over a decade, life felt normal. Then, without warning, his kidneys began to fail. What followed was a grueling journey through organ failure, transplant surgery, and the slow, uncertain road to recovery — all while holding onto a single question that would define his life: Do I want to grow, or do I want to die?His answer changed everything.In this episode, Ty shares:What it was actually like to face kidney failure and depend on organ donation to surviveThe pivotal mindset shift that transformed his recovery — and how you can apply it todayHis 3-step framework for navigating life's hardest momentsWhy "toxic positivity" is real — and what genuine resilience actually looks likeThe role his mother, his wife, and his faith played in pulling him throughWhat his unexpected journey with Disney taught him about storytelling and communityWhy waiting is the enemy of healing, and what to do insteadTy doesn't sugarcoat the darkness. He walked through it. And what he found on the other side is the foundation of his work as a speaker, advocate, and voice for the organ donation community."On the other side of adversity are some really amazing things," he says. "You have every tool you need equipped with you right now."Whether you're facing a health crisis, a career collapse, a broken relationship, or simply a season of life that doesn't make sense — this conversation will remind you that the wall in front of you is worth the climb.Key Takeaways:Resilience isn't about feeling strong. It's about taking one small step when everything in you wants to stop.Your "why" is your anchor. Find it before the storm hits.Humor isn't avoidance — it's armor.Sharing your story doesn't just help others. It heals you.Getting 1% better every day compounds into a completely different life.Episode Chapters:00:00 — Meet Ty Gipson01:50 — Living with juvenile diabetes05:17 — When the kidneys fail: Ty's transplant story09:55 — The life-changing gift of organ donation12:42 — What adversity actually teaches you16:48 — 3 steps to overcome any challenge19:10 — Sitting with the unknowns22:15 — The real power of positive thinking25:20 — Stop waiting. Start now.29:27 — Ty's unexpected chapter at Disney37:24 — Calling out toxic positivity41:31 — Choosing to stay positive when it's hard43:57 — How to connect with Tyadversity and resilience, organ donation awareness, juvenile diabetes story, kidney transplant survivor, motivational speaker podcast, overcoming health challenges, positive mindset tips, personal growth podcast, chronic illness and mental health, Sit Around the Fire podcast

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    #045 Why You’re Tired All the Time (It’s Not Just Physical): Emotional Exhaustion & Burnout

    Do you feel constantly tired—even when you’re getting enough sleep, eating well, and doing “all the right things”?You’re not alone. And the truth is… your exhaustion might not be physical.In this solo episode of Sit Around the Fire, therapist and hypnotherapist Ashlea Dillard explores the deeper reasons behind chronic fatigue, emotional exhaustion, and burnout—and why so many high performers, helpers, and first responders feel drained despite doing everything “right.”Ashlea shares a real, honest reflection from her own recent experience with fatigue and breaks down how emotional load, decision fatigue, suppressed emotions, and nervous system dysregulation can silently deplete your energy.If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, mentally drained, or stuck in a cycle of pushing through exhaustion, this episode will help you understand what your body is actually trying to tell you—and how to begin restoring your energy from the inside out.✨ You don’t need to push harder. You need to listen differently.🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why you feel tired all the time (even when you’re doing everything “right”)The connection between emotional exhaustion and physical fatigueHow decision fatigue and overthinking drain your energyThe impact of suppressed emotions on your nervous systemWhy rest doesn’t work if your body is still in survival modeSimple ways to create space and begin restoring your energy🔥 Key Takeaways:Your exhaustion isn’t just physical—it’s emotional and neurologicalYou’re not lazy or unmotivated—your system is overloadedReal energy comes from nervous system regulation, not just restAwareness is the first step toward sustainable healing🎯 Chapters:00:00 Why You Feel Tired All the Time00:45 Personal Reflection on Fatigue03:00 The Nervous System & True Rest07:00 Hidden Energy Drains (Emotional Load & Decision Fatigue)12:00 The Deeper Truth Behind Exhaustion14:00 Shifting Out of Survival Mode17:00 Simple Integration Practice19:00 Closing Thoughts🔍 Keywords (SEO):chronic fatigue, emotional exhaustion, burnout, mental health, nervous system regulation, decision fatigue, overthinking, stress, suppressed emotions, trauma, self-care, therapy, hypnosis, fatigue recovery, high performer burnout, first responders mental health🌐 Resources & Links:🔗 Sit Around the Fire Podcast: https://sitaroundthefire.com🔗 Work with Ashlea Dillard (Therapy & Hypnosis): https://ashleadillard.com🎧 If This Resonated…Send this to someone who’s been feeling exhausted lately.And if you’re ready to stop pushing through and start understanding your energy—this is your starting point.

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    #044 The Truth About Intimacy: Self-worth, Trauma, and Communication with Pauline Ryeland

    What if the biggest barrier to intimacy in your relationship isn’t your partner—but your relationship with yourself?In this powerful episode of Sit Around the Fire, host Ashlea Dillard sits down with Pauline Ryeland to explore the deeper psychology of relationships, intimacy, and connection. Together, they unpack how self-worth, communication patterns, trauma, and life transitions directly impact emotional and physical intimacy.This conversation dives into the foundations of conscious relating, highlighting how disconnection often stems from unresolved stress, past experiences, and nervous system dysregulation—not just surface-level relationship issues.Pauline shares her journey into sexual education and explains why understanding sexual energy as a life force is key to reclaiming connection, confidence, and fulfillment. You’ll learn how NLP, personal growth, and self-awareness can transform not only your relationship with your partner—but with yourself.Whether you’re navigating a long-term relationship, rebuilding intimacy, or seeking deeper emotional connection, this episode offers practical tools and mindset shifts to help you reconnect, communicate, and thrive.✨ If you’ve ever felt disconnected, stuck, or unsure how to communicate your needs—this conversation is for you.relationships, intimacy, self-worth, communication in relationships, trauma and relationships, emotional connection, conscious relating, sexual energy, NLP, personal growth, relationship healing, reconnecting with partner, mental health and relationships, nervous system regulation, intimacy issuesSelf-worth and self-love are the foundation of healthy relationships and intimacyEmotional and physical intimacy start with connection to selfTrauma and stress can silently disrupt communication and connectionConscious relating requires presence, awareness, and intentionSexual energy is deeply connected to overall life force and vitalityLife transitions can shift relationship dynamics—and require recalibrationOpen, honest communication is essential for intimacy and trustPractical tools can help couples reconnect and rebuild closenessPersonal growth directly enhances relationship satisfactionNervous system regulation plays a key role in intimacy and connection00:00 Introduction to Relationships, Intimacy & Mental Health01:53 Pauline’s Journey into Sexual Education & Personal Growth04:36 How Self-Worth Impacts Intimacy and Connection07:41 Navigating Life Transitions in Relationships09:39 Reconnecting in Long-Term Relationships11:50 Addressing Intimacy Challenges Head-On15:46 Communication Skills for Deeper Connection20:01 Trauma, Stress & the Nervous System in Relationships24:37 Understanding Sexual Energy as Life Force29:53 What is Conscious Relating?34:57 Practical Tools to Rebuild Intimacy39:50 Unlocking Sexual Potential & Personal Growth44:53 Closing Thoughts & Resources

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    #043: The Hidden Cost of Always Being the Strong One: Emotional Exhaustion, Vulnerability & Healing

    Are you the one everyone relies on… but secretly feel exhausted, disconnected, or overwhelmed?In this solo episode of Sit Around the Fire, therapist and hypnotherapist Ashlea Dillard explores the hidden cost of always being the strong one—and why this role, while admirable, can lead to emotional exhaustion, nervous system dysregulation, and deep disconnection from yourself and others.If you’ve ever felt like you have to “hold it all together,” struggle to ask for support, or find yourself constantly pushing through despite burnout… this episode will resonate deeply.Ashlea breaks down how the “strong one” identity is often learned and adaptive, rooted in past experiences where vulnerability didn’t feel safe. She shares how this pattern can show up in your daily life—and more importantly, how to begin releasing emotional suppression, embracing vulnerability, and allowing support back in.This episode also includes a guided hypnosis-style integration to help you gently let go of what you’ve been carrying and reconnect with a sense of internal safety and support.✨ You don’t have to do life alone. And you don’t have to earn rest.🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:The emotional toll of always being the strong oneSigns of emotional repression, burnout, and nervous system exhaustionHow hyper-independence keeps you stuck and disconnectedWhy vulnerability is essential for healing and personal growthPractical reflection prompts to help you shift patternsA guided integration to release pressure and reconnect with support🔥 Key Takeaways:You don’t have to earn rest or supportStrength isn’t just holding it all together—it’s allowing yourself to be seenAwareness is the first step toward real healing and change🎯 Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Healing Conversations00:57 The Burden of Being the Strong One04:53 Understanding the Strong One's Identity06:48 The Impact of Learned Behaviors07:32 The Hidden Costs of Emotional Suppression15:04 Redefining Strength and Vulnerability18:34 Guided Integration for Mindfulness20:43 Embracing the Present Moment20:49 Embracing Softness and Awareness23:48 Releasing Burdens and Finding Supportmental health, emotional exhaustion, vulnerability, support, personal growth, self-care, resilience, healing, nervous system regulation, emotional repression, burnout recovery, trauma healing, therapy, hypnosis, first responders mental health🌐 Resources & Links:🔗 Sit Around the Fire Podcast: https://sitaroundthefire.com🔗 Work with Ashlea Dillard (Therapy & Hypnosis): https://ashleadillard.com🎧 If This Resonated…Share this episode with someone who’s always been the strong one.And if you’re ready to start your own healing journey—support is available.

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    #042 First Responder Families: How to Heal, Communicate, and Thrive Under Pressure with TJ & Sarah

    In this powerful episode of Sit Around the Fire, host Ashlea Dillard sits down with Sarah Joy Prieur and TJ to explore the real-life challenges of first responder families—and what it actually takes to move from survival mode into true, sustainable thriving.Together, they unpack the mental health impact of first responder life, including chronic stress, emotional suppression, and the often unspoken normalization of suffering within the culture. Through raw honesty and lived experience, Sarah and TJ share how they transformed their relationship, mindset, and daily systems using mindfulness, intentional communication, and structured personal growth practices.This conversation dives deep into:How trauma and high-stress careers affect relationships and family dynamicsWhy many first responder families feel stuck—and how to break the cycleThe role of nervous system regulation, gratitude, and daily structure in healingHow to rebuild connection, clarity, and purpose in the midst of chaosThrough their work with Real Elevation, Sarah and TJ are helping others cultivate resilience, discipline, and authentic alignment—proving that no matter how intense the environment, healing and transformation are always possible.If you or someone you love is in a first responder role, this episode is a must-listen for learning how to communicate better, reconnect deeply, and create a life that feels grounded, intentional, and fulfilling.You don’t have to just survive this life—you can learn to thrive in it.00:00 – Understanding First Responder Family Dynamics00:19 – Mental Health, Mindfulness, and Emotional Regulation04:29 – Turning Trauma into Growth and Purpose08:52 – Breaking the Culture of Normalized Suffering16:15 – Communication Strategies That Actually Work22:03 – Mindfulness, Spirituality, and Self-Awareness29:54 – Building Resilience Through Real ElevationIf this episode resonated with you, share it with a first responder family who needs this message.✨ Follow, rate, and review Sit Around the Fire to help us continue bringing powerful conversations like this to life.And remember:Heal. Transform. Impact.first responder mental health, first responder families, firefighter family stress, police family life, trauma recovery, mindfulness for anxiety, communication in relationships, nervous system regulation, mental health for first responders, resilience training, personal growth, emotional healing, gratitude practice, structured routines, stress management, marriage in high-stress careers, first responder spouse support

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    #041 Suicide Prevention Through Humor: Frank King on Depression, Vulnerability & Saving Lives

    Suicide prevention starts with a conversation.In this powerful episode, Frank King—comedian and suicide prevention speaker—shares his deeply personal journey through depression, chronic suicidal ideation, and the unexpected role humor has played in his mental health advocacy.Through storytelling, vulnerability, and moments of laughter, Frank explains why anyone—not just clinicians—can help save a life simply by starting the conversation about suicide.This discussion explores the realities of depression, men’s mental health, and the unique challenges faced by first responders, while highlighting the importance of connection, purpose, and asking direct questions when someone may be struggling.Frank’s story reminds us that humor can open doors to difficult conversations, making it easier to talk about topics many people avoid—including suicide.Whether you’re a first responder, mental health professional, or someone supporting a loved one, this conversation offers valuable insight into recognizing warning signs, navigating difficult discussions, and understanding the power of vulnerability.Because sometimes the most important step in suicide prevention is simply starting the conversation.Chapters00:00 Introduction to the Conversation01:10 The Importance of Starting Conversations on Suicide02:35 Frank King's Personal Journey with Mental Health05:41 The Power of Vulnerability and Sharing Stories08:25 Processing Loss and Trauma11:52 Transitioning from Comedy to Mental Health Advocacy14:00 Using Humor to Address Serious Topics20:00 How to Talk About Suicide and Mental Health23:31 Navigating Conversations Around Suicide24:39 The Importance of Purpose and Connection26:15 Personal Stories of Struggle and Resilience29:22 Understanding Depression and Seeking Help31:57 The Journey of Finding the Right Therapy35:25 Men's Mental Health and First Responders39:25 Humor as a Tool for Mental Health Advocacy43:14 The Impact of Sharing Stories on Mental HealthLinks to Frank's WorkGuts, Grit, and the Grind Book One Unabridgedhttps://youtu.be/wpfAltylpts?si=feOr6kMRe1-KZ5VuSuicide, The Secret of My Success https://youtu.be/3D4m33DXtsIhttps://vimeo.com/743798587 Dry Bar Comedy Specialsuicide prevention |mental health | depressionmen's mental health | first responder mental healthchronic suicidal ideation | suicide awarenessmental health advocacy | comedy and mental healthhumor in advocacy | storytelling and healingmental health conversations

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    #040 Police Reform, Mental Health, and Accountability | A Conversation with Jeff Wenninger

    What does the future of law enforcement look like? And how do we build trust, accountability, and mental health support within policing?In this episode of Sit Around the Fire, I sit down with Jeff Wenninger, who shares insights from his 33-year career in law enforcement and his perspective on the evolving conversation around police reform, police culture, diversity in policing, and community trust.Jeff reflects on how his upbringing shaped his views on race, leadership, and accountability in law enforcement, and how decades on the job challenged many of his early beliefs about policing. We discuss the realities officers face, the impact of use of force decisions, and why mental health support for police officers is essential for both individual well-being and healthier departments.We also explore why education, training, and diversity in law enforcement are critical for building stronger relationships between police and the communities they serve. Jeff shares his passion for fostering the next generation of officers through scholarship initiatives and leadership development, aimed at creating a more transparent, accountable, and community-focused culture in policing.This conversation dives into the difficult but necessary discussions surrounding police reform, officer wellness, and the future of public safety.If you're interested in law enforcement, mental health, police accountability, community trust, or police culture, this episode offers thoughtful insight into how meaningful change can happen.🔥 Key Topics Discussed• Mental health in law enforcement• Police reform and police accountability• Use of force and decision-making under pressure• Diversity and representation in policing• Building community trust between police and the public• Education and leadership development for officers• Transitioning from active duty to retirement in law enforcement🎙 About Sit Around the FireHosted by Ashlea Dillard, licensed professional counselor, hypnotherapist, and former firefighter/paramedic, Sit Around the Fire explores powerful conversations around mental health, personal growth, leadership, and transformation.The mission is simple:Heal. Transform. Impact.👍 If you enjoyed this episode:Like 👍Subscribe 🔔Share with someone who would benefit from this conversation.

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    #039 Jess Flores: When the Badge Becomes Your Identity

    In this episode, Ashlea Dillard speaks with Jess Flores, a former law enforcement officer, about her journey of identity loss after leaving the police force. They discuss the challenges of navigating relationships, the importance of communication, and the need for self-awareness and personal responsibility in the law enforcement community. Jess shares her insights on mental health, the impact of law enforcement culture, and offers advice for new first responders. The conversation emphasizes the power of sharing stories and the importance of seeking support and resources for personal growth.Takeaways-You are not alone and you are not stuck.-You are not just a cop; your identity is multifaceted.-Losing your career can lead to a significant identity crisis.-Communication is key in relationships, especially for first responders.-Self-awareness is crucial for personal growth and responsibility.-Transitioning out of law enforcement can be challenging but manageable.-Mental health is a critical issue in law enforcement.-Struggle is a part of life, but suffering is a choice.-Your story matters and can help others.-You can choose to be better every day.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Key Messages02:46 Jess's Journey in Law Enforcement05:36 Identity Crisis After Leaving Law Enforcement08:25 The Impact of Law Enforcement Culture on Identity11:27 Navigating Relationships as First Responders14:23 Communication in First Responder Relationships17:30 The Transition Out of Law Enforcement20:36 Finding Self Beyond the Badge24:03 Navigating Grief and Loss in Relationships30:06 Taking Responsibility for Your Well-being33:36 The Importance of Self-Awareness38:58 The Power of Sharing Your Story43:12 Resources for Law Enforcement and Mental Healthlaw enforcement, identity loss, mental health, first responders, communication, relationships, self-awareness, transition, support, personal growthNext Shift Podcast 🎙️ https://open.spotify.com/show/6Z6KFecFcwKEp0Qyx2XdzM?si=c452980a42a84e6a

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    #038 How to Get the Most Out of Therapy: 5 Powerful Keys to Real Change

    In this episode, Ashlea Dillard dives into five powerful strategies to help you get the most out of therapy and accelerate your personal growth. If you're committed to improving your mental health, emotional well-being, and self-awareness, this conversation will reshape how you approach the therapeutic process.Too often, people enter therapy without fully understanding how to engage in it. True transformation requires research, willingness, accountability, and commitment. Therapy is not just for crisis moments — it is a proactive investment in your emotional health and long-term self-improvement.Whether you're starting therapy for the first time or wanting to deepen your current experience, this episode explores how to:Choose the right therapist through intentional researchUnderstand therapy beyond crisis managementShow up with willingness and opennessCommit to the therapeutic processTake self-accountability for real, lasting changeIf you're ready to prioritize your mental health and approach therapy as a journey of growth rather than a quick fix, this episode is for you.Because you’re not meant to do this journey alone.Chapters: 00:00 Why Most People Don’t Get the Full Benefit of Therapy01:02 How to Research and Choose the Right Therapist09:18 Therapy Is Not Just for Crisis: A Proactive Mental Health Approach10:55 The Power of Willingness in the Therapeutic Process13:07 Commitment, Accountability & Real Personal Growth18:02 Final Encouragement: Make Yourself a Priority

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    #037: Brian Sachetta: Chronic Stress vs Acute Stress: Which One's Killing You?

    In this episode of Sit Around the Fire, Ashlea Dillard sits down with Brian Sachetta to discuss mental health, focusing on anxiety and depression. Brian shares his personal journey with anxiety, the importance of understanding the root causes, and the body's physiological responses to stress. They explore the significance of safety and security in mental well-being, the power of surrendering in the healing process, and the value of community in overcoming mental health challenges. The conversation emphasizes actionable strategies for coping with anxiety and the importance of sharing personal stories to reduce stigma.Keywordsmental health, anxiety, depression, safety, security, coping strategies, emotional regulation, personal growth, Brian Sachetta, mental wellnessTakeawaysActionable tactics for mental health are essential.Understanding the root cause of anxiety is crucial.The body’s response to threats is often misunderstood.Chronic stressors differ from acute stressors.Safety and security are fundamental to mental well-being.Surrendering can lead to healing and growth.Resistance to anxiety can perpetuate suffering.Community and shared experiences reduce stigma.Personal stories can inspire and help others.Finding silver linings in suffering is transformative.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Mental Health Conversations02:48 Brian Sachetta's Journey with Anxiety06:33 Exploring Anxiety: Personal Experiences and Breakthroughs16:41 Understanding the Physiological Response to Anxiety23:07 Tools for Managing Anxiety and Stress28:56 The Power of Thoughts and Anxiety30:04 Understanding Safety and Security in Mental Health34:30 Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and Anxiety41:45 Surrendering to Anxiety and Finding Peace49:37 The Role of Control in Anxiety and AddictionCheck out Brian's book: Get Out of Your Head🔗https://getoutofyourhead.com/about/🔥 We appreciate you! Like, share, and subscribe! Your supports helps us move our mission forward.

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    #036 Parts Work: Aspects of Our Mind That Get Into Conflict

    In this episode, Ashlea Dillard delves into the concept of parts work, a therapeutic approach that explores the various aspects of our minds, akin to the characters in the movie 'Inside Out.' She explains how different parts of ourselves, such as the inner critic, inner child, and inner adult, can often be in conflict, leading to emotional turmoil and hindering personal growth. By understanding these parts, listeners can learn to navigate their internal dialogues and foster a more harmonious relationship with themselves.Dillard emphasizes that all parts are inherently good and serve a purpose, even if they manifest as anxiety, fear, or self-criticism. She encourages listeners to engage in dialogue with these parts, offering them new roles that align with their current needs. The episode concludes with practical advice on how to integrate these parts through methods like hypnosis and self-reflection, ultimately empowering individuals to achieve a more balanced and fulfilling life.Keywordsparts work, inner critic, inner child, mental health, self-awareness, emotional healing, therapy, personal growth, self-discovery, conflict resolutionTakeaways-Understanding parts work can lead to personal empowerment.-All parts of ourselves are inherently good and serve a purpose.-Conflict between parts can hinder personal growth and emotional well-being.-Engaging in dialogue with our parts can foster healing and integration.-Using methods like hypnosis can help in addressing and transforming our parts.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Parts Work01:07 Understanding Internal Conflicts02:58 Defining Parts and Their Roles06:16 Emotions as Parts08:10 The Three Primary Ego States12:17 The Inner Critic and Its Impact15:07 The Role of Protectors18:18 Healing the Inner Child20:10 Integrating the Inner Adult22:05 Exploring Shadow Work24:27 Final Thoughts on Parts Work

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    #035 Chris Tiller: The Fire Service Is Changing: Generations, Call Volume, and the Cost

    The conversation with Chris Tiller delves into the generational gap in the fire service and the impact of technology on communication and community within the service. It explores recruitment challenges, leadership's role in mental health support, and the evolving identity and community dynamics in the fire service. The conversation delves into the impact of call volume and the types of calls on firefighters, highlighting the strain on the system and the toll it takes on the individuals. It also explores the changing nature of emergency calls and the challenges faced by firefighters in responding to non-emergency situations.TakeawaysGenerational gap in the fire serviceImpact of technology on communication and community in the fire service Call volume impactTypes of calls and their toll on firefighters

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    #034: The Power of Emotions: Understanding and Managing Your Feelings

    The conversation delves into the exploration of emotions and their impact on behavior and well-being. It discusses the two methods of dealing with emotions, the importance of stepping out of emotions and processing them, practical steps for dealing with emotions, and the concept of letting emotions burn off.TakeawaysUnderstanding the cascade of thoughts, emotions, and behaviorsThe importance of being with and processing emotionsChapters00:00 Exploring Emotions and Their Impact11:04 Stepping Out of Emotions and Processing Them17:45 Practical Steps for Dealing with Emotions24:14 Letting Emotions Burn OffKeywordsEmotions, Anxiety, Anger, Depression, Emotional Regulation, Breathe, Sadness, Happiness, Joy, Psychology, Mental Health

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    #033 Breaking Free: Your Thoughts Become Your Reality

    In this episode, Ashlea Dillard explores the profound impact of our thoughts on our physical and emotional well-being. She emphasizes the importance of awareness in recognizing negative self-talk and its effects on the subconscious mind. Dillard discusses the consequences of chronic stress and the necessity of breaking free from old patterns that no longer serve us. She encourages listeners to embrace change, let go of limiting beliefs, and actively choose thoughts that empower them to create a new reality.TakeawaysOur thoughts send direct signals to our body.The subconscious mind operates 24/7, absorbing all messages.Negative self-talk can lead to chronic stress and inflammation.Awareness is key to interrupting negative thought patterns.Letting go of old identities is essential for growth.We have the power to choose our thoughts and beliefs.Change can happen instantly; it's about choosing differently.Our internal dialogue shapes our reality and experiences.It's important to question the truth of our thoughts.Embracing change leads to freedom and vitality.Chapters00:00The Power of Language and Thoughts10:44Breaking Old Patterns and Choosing Again20:26Shedding Old Identities for New Beginnings

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    #032 Robert Tornabene: Breaking the Silence: Mental Health in Law Enforcement

    In this conversation, Ashlea Dillard interviews Robert Tornabene, a retired police officer from Chicago, who shares his insights on mental health, leadership, and the challenges faced by law enforcement officers. Robert emphasizes the importance of self-care, the stigma surrounding mental health in policing, and the need for open communication in relationships. He also discusses the unique challenges faced by Chicago police, including high suicide rates and the impact of political climate on morale. Throughout the conversation, Robert offers valuable advice for new officers and highlights the significance of finding balance and pursuing hobbies outside of work.TakeawaysAlways try to improve yourself the next day.Journaling can help explore emotions and track personal growth.Cops often build a veneer that makes communication difficult.Mental health is a significant issue in law enforcement.The political climate can heavily impact police morale.Leadership should prioritize the well-being of officers.Stigma around mental health prevents officers from seeking help.Hypervigilance can lead to serious health issues.Maintaining relationships outside of work is crucial.Finding hobbies can help officers decompress and find balance.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Key Messages02:55 Robert's Background and Career Journey05:51 Challenges in Law Enforcement and Mental Health09:42 Leadership and Morale in Police Departments14:52 The Impact of Trauma and Hypervigilance21:35 Health and Well-being of First Responders26:20 Establishing Healthy Routines28:42 The Dynamics of First Responder Relationships33:03 Navigating Life After Retirement35:55 Marriage and Communication in High-Demand Careers40:18 Advice for New Officers44:58 Prioritizing Mental Health and Well-Being

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    #031 Grief & Loss from My Heart

    In this heartfelt conversation, Ashlea Dillard shares her personal journey through grief and loss, emphasizing the importance of accepting and living through these emotions rather than resisting them. She discusses the illusion of returning to a 'normal' state after loss, the unconditional nature of peace, and the significance of finding purpose amidst pain. Ashlea encourages listeners to embrace their authentic emotional experiences and highlights the support available during difficult times.TakeawaysGrief and loss are universal experiences that everyone faces.The desire to return to 'normal' after loss is a common misconception.Peace can be found even in the midst of chaos and grief.Surrendering to the present moment is crucial in navigating grief.Authentic emotional experiences are essential for healing.Resisting emotions can lead to greater pain and suffering.Finding purpose can help guide you through difficult times.Support systems are vital during seasons of grief.Every season of grief is temporary and can lead to growth.You are never alone in your journey of grief.Chapters00:00Navigating Grief and Loss02:54The Illusion of Returning to Normal05:50Finding Peace in Uncertainty09:11Living Authentically Through Grief12:02Embracing Growth in Difficult Seasons14:49The Journey of Healing and Support

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    #030 Mr. Whiskey: From Navy Vet to Podcast Pioneer

    This conversation delves into the challenges faced by first responders and military personnel, particularly focusing on mental health issues, identity crises, and the importance of community and support. The discussion highlights the impact of societal pressures, the need for mentorship, and the critical role of human connection in suicide prevention. The speaker shares personal experiences and insights on navigating these complex issues, emphasizing hope and the potential for change.TakeawaysFirst responders often face mental health challenges due to their work environment.Identity can become intertwined with occupation, making transitions difficult.The military experience can lead to a lack of transferable skills for civilian life.Mentorship is crucial for personal and professional development in the military.Human connection is vital in suicide prevention efforts.Suicide is often a result of societal pressures and conformity.There are online communities that provide support for veterans and first responders.Hope and change are possible as long as one is alive.Education and self-research are important for personal development.The military needs to focus on the humanity of its members. Chapters00:00 Introduction to First Responders' Challenges02:50 The Impact of Identity on First Responders06:07 Mental Health and the Military Experience08:59 The Struggles of Transitioning to Civilian Life11:48 The Importance of Mentorship in the Military15:09 The Role of Humanity in Suicide Prevention18:02 Addressing the Suicide Epidemic20:53 The Power of Hope and Change23:41 Finding Community and Support27:05 Conclusion and Resources

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    #029 The Weight of Joy: Navigating Holiday Emotions

    SummaryIn this heartfelt holiday episode, Ashlea Dillard explores the complexities of joy and emotions during the holiday season. She emphasizes the weight of joy, the importance of receiving, and the power of self-acceptance. Ashlea encourages listeners to embrace their feelings, whether they are joyful or heavy, and to practice being present in the moment. The conversation highlights the significance of love, compassion, and the human experience, reminding us that it's okay to feel a range of emotions during this time of year.

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    #028 Monica Tanner: Stop Going To Bed Angry? Maybe Sleep On It

    Send us a textWhat if the problem isn’t your partner, but the pattern you’re both trapped in? Today we unpack the hidden scripts that drive your fights—attachment styles, nervous system triggers, and the “I’ll just fix it” reflex that keeps real repair out of reach—and share the small, repeatable moves that make your relationship feel safe again.Relationship coach and author Monica Tanner joins us to translate attachment theory into everyday language you can actually use. We talk about the anxious spiral that begs to solve everything before bed, the secure partner who thinks space is helpful, and the avoidant impulse to check out when conflict heats up. Monica offers a simple bedtime reassurance line that soothes panic without forcing resolution, plus a framework for asking clearly for what you need so your partner doesn’t have to read your mind.Then we take a swing at a sacred cow: compromise. Instead of splitting the difference and keeping score, Monica teaches collaboration—mapping the values under each position, naming reservations, and designing a third way that fits both people. From money and travel to sex, parenting, and daily routines, we show how to build your unique “our way” and stop measuring your marriage against social media’s fantasy standards. You’ll also learn gentle practices for tending your adaptive child, co-regulating in hard moments, and turning repair into a ritual so conflicts get shorter, softer, and actually productive.If you’re ready to move from anxiety to secure connection, from quick fixes to lasting change, this conversation is your roadmap. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find the show—what’s one script you’ll try this week?👉🏻 Pick up a copy of Monica's Book Bad Marriage Advice https://www.badmarriageadvice.com/get-the-book 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #027 Travis McGaha: Building Resilient First Responders Through Whole-Person Wellness

    Send us a textThe hardest part isn’t the fire. It’s carrying the weight after the sirens fade. We sit down with Travis McGaha—deputy fire marshal, founder of the North Carolina Firefighter Cancer Wellness Alliance, and host of the All Clear Podcast—to unpack a practical, whole-person path to resilience that goes far beyond gear and drills.Travis shares how cancer prevention opened the door to a wider view of firefighter wellness: mental fitness, cardiac risk, hormones, nutrition, and sleep. He walks us through the cultural shift from taboo to transparency on cancer, and why leadership buy-in turns policies like on-scene decon and annual NFPA physicals into life-saving norms. We dig into a striking story where stress from a fatality investigation drove a 400% spike in insulin—proof that the nervous system and lab numbers are inseparable—and how better testing, trend tracking, and firefighter-savvy clinicians change outcomes.We also tackle the realities of attention fatigue and dopamine-chasing that erode focus off shift and can show up on the fireground. From journaling and peer support to choosing therapy that actually fits, we lay out tools that build mental strength without losing humanity. Relationships matter here too. Share the “Disney version” at home—honest, bounded, and real—so your family can spot shifts before they become crises. And don’t ignore hormones: testosterone, lipids, and inflammation markers reveal early risks that hit mood, energy, and heart health.If you’re a firefighter, spouse, or leader looking for actionable steps, this conversation delivers: integrative wellness, smarter physicals, stronger culture, and simple daily practices that keep the fire within burning clean. Subscribe, share this with your crew, and leave a review to help more first responders find tools that last. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #026 William Person: Olympic Team USA Bobsled Athlete Healing CTE

    Send us a textWhat if the fog, forgetfulness, and mood storms aren’t a failing mind—but an injured one that’s never been treated? We sit down with former Team USA bobsledder William Pearson to trace the slow, frightening slide into CTE symptoms—and the moment oxygen, pressure, and persistence turned the lights back on.William takes us inside the daily reality of brain trauma that hides in plain sight: random days of clarity, panic waking in unfamiliar rooms, losing track of time, and not recognizing familiar faces. He explains why micro concussions are so dangerous, how standard “rest and wait” advice fails the brain, and why athletes, veterans, and first responders often mistake cognitive decline for character flaws. Then we dig into hyperbaric oxygen therapy—what it does at the cellular level, why some feel immediate change while others need dozens of dives, and how it helped William recover color in his vision, language flow, and stamina for reading, walking, and living.We also talk about the human side: the role of spouses and friends as early-warning systems, practical routines to avoid high-stakes mistakes on fog days, and tools for calming migraines and sensory overload. William shares his mission to build a free CTE wellness center in the Midwest capable of treating dozens per day, outlines the insurance and policy barriers that keep HBOT out of reach, and invites our community to help open access for athletes and veterans who can’t wait. Along the way, we confront the hard questions—violence risk, missed diagnoses, and scrubbed reporting—and return to a simple, hopeful truth: the brain can heal when given the right conditions.William’s GoFundMe is: https://gofund.me/93ff9c6e   To raise funds to open a CTE Recovery Center for athletes and military veterans battling CTE like symptoms to receive care without the burden of costLinks to William’s Social Media: @onemanwithachamberFacebook https://www.facebook.com/one.man.with.a.chamber.hbot?mibextid=wwXIfr&mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.facebook.com/william.person.792233 Instagram

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    #025 CELEBRATE! One Year Around The Fire...

    Send us a textThe crackle you hear isn’t just the intro—it’s a year of voices catching flame. We’re celebrating twelve months of honest conversations with flight nurses, paramedics, firefighters, spouses, mental health pros, and advocates who turned raw experience into practical wisdom. This anniversary brings back the moments that stuck: naming PTSD when a minor scare sparks a major reaction, watching compassion fatigue harden a caregiver’s voice, and choosing help even when secrecy feels safer.We revisit the foundation of this community—no one has to pretend they’re fine here—and trace how that promise shaped stories of home and work. A retired firefighter and a flight attendant unpack how nontraditional schedules forged teamwork and how retirement demands a plan for identity, space, and the remote control. A veteran EMS leader shows why relationships keep us in the job and how strong boundaries keep us whole. A firefighter spouse lifts the curtain on “holding it down” and the unseen load that partners carry with grit and grace.Healing shows up in everyday choices, too. Chef Calvin walks us through small, sustainable food shifts that lower inflammation, improve sleep, and sharpen mood—air-frying over deep-frying, portion swaps, and plant-forward proteins that fit real life. We add field-ready tools for autism-aware response: skip “calm down,” follow the family’s lead, and trade judgment for curiosity. Along the way we challenge old myths—PTSD isn’t only for combat—and show why paying attention to your nervous system is an act of service to your crew and your family.Stick around for a sneak peek at what’s next: firefighter cancer prevention and wellness, relationship coaching that reveals the dynamics you can’t see from inside the bottle, and the shared threads between military and first responders. If these stories made you feel less alone or more equipped, help the fire burn brighter—subscribe, share with a teammate, and leave a review so others can find their seat at the circle. Your presence keeps this mission moving. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #023 Margaux Aime: From Grief To Grit: A Producer Rebuilds Purpose Through Storytelling

    Send us a textA simple mantra drives this conversation and the life behind it: keep it moving. Margot, the founder of True Self Films, shares how losing her grandmother, mother, and husband in three consecutive years forced a complete reset. Stoicism stopped working. Therapy, chosen intentionally without medication through a university program, became the bridge from paralysis to purposeful action. We walk through the moments that rebuilt her support system, from finding people who celebrate her wins to learning how to stagger asks so friends aren’t overwhelmed.From there, Margot flips the script on a fragile entertainment career. After a promising sitcom fell apart, she decided to produce her own work. With smart constraints and a clear vision, she developed Let Go, a two-actor, single-location short that reached Cannes and Venice. That project sparked True Self Films, a production company designed to platform women, confront ageism, and elevate underrepresented voices while setting a new standard on set: fair pay, dignity for crew, and leaders who stay in their lane. It’s a culture built on respect and accountability, not hierarchy.We also explore her flagship feature, Therein Lies Darkness, following Jasmine, a pop star wrestling with addiction, loss, and exploitation while seeking redemption. The story isn’t biographical, yet it reflects Margot’s lived wisdom and the realities many women face in creative industries. She speaks with urgency about building a slate of features, episodics, and documentaries to put her community back to work and to leave a legacy. If you’re navigating grief, trying to access therapy on a budget, or searching for the courage to create your own table, this conversation offers practical steps, hard-won insight, and a spark to keep going.If the story resonated, tap follow, share it with someone who needs momentum, and leave a review—your words help more people find the show and keep it moving.Let's Support Margaux and True Self Films!https://trueselffilms.com/ 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #023: The 5 Non-Negotiables

    Send us a textEver feel like you’re doing everything and still not moving forward? We break down the five non-negotiables that quietly determine whether life feels scattered or deeply aligned: spirituality, mental and emotional health, physical health, career and finances, and relationships. Rather than chasing hacks, we focus on clear priorities, practical routines, and beliefs that actually support growth.We start with spirituality as inner connection—no dogma, just simple practices to get quiet, breathe, and listen. A few minutes of morning and evening stillness, paired with time outside, can reset your nervous system and sharpen focus. From there, we explore mental and emotional health as maintenance: therapy, somatic tools, and mindset work that help you update old narratives. Your thoughts have consequences, and choosing them with care is how you create a life that matches your values.Physical health becomes your amplifier. We connect the gut–brain axis to mood and clarity, advocate for real food and hydration, and make a case for movement you actually enjoy so you’ll stick with it. Sleep and recovery complete the foundation. Then we reframe career and finances: learn the basics, challenge inherited money stories, and define your mission so work supports, not swallows, your life. Finally, we turn to relationships as mirrors and multipliers—audit your circles, establish rituals of connection, and practice repair so trust can grow.By the end, you’ll have a simple plan to assess where you are, define what you want, and pick one action per pillar to track for two weeks. Awareness sets your direction, but consistent steps do the heavy lifting. If this conversation helps, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a quick review so more people can find it. Your next chapter starts with what you choose to prioritize today. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #022: Jennifer Kaufman: Supporting Autism on the Front Lines: Tools, Tactics, and Trust for First Responders and Families

    Send us a textSirens, bright lights, crowded scenes—now imagine all of that with a nervous system tuned to notice every sound and sensation at full volume. We sit down with school principal and trainer Jennifer Kaufman to unpack how autism can look like “defiance” or “intoxication” in the field—and why small, precise shifts from first responders can completely change the outcome.Jennifer shares a practical playbook for police, firefighters, EMS, and dispatch: trade “calm down” for literal, single-step instructions; build in longer pauses for processing; use one clear voice instead of a crowd; and keep simple tools ready, like a notepad or a tablet for alternative communication. We talk through common presentations—lack of eye contact, scripting, stimming—and how to distinguish them from impairment. She introduces New Jersey’s Blue Envelope program, which helps during traffic stops by giving officers essential info up front, and we break down how to partner with families on scene without judgment so their expertise becomes an asset, not a conflict.The conversation also tackles the hard reality of elopement and water safety. Many autistic individuals are drawn to water, and a large share of accidental deaths involve drowning. Jennifer outlines an actionable community plan: check water first when someone is missing, coordinate fast, and layer prevention with swim lessons, door alarms, and trackers. Along the way, we look at school outreach that normalizes responder gear and sounds, reducing fear long before an emergency. The throughline is empathy: slow down, step back, observe, and ask what this person needs right now.If you serve your community—or love someone on the spectrum—this episode is a field guide to safer, calmer, more human encounters. Subscribe, share with your team, and leave a review with the tactic you’ll try next; your insight might help another crew keep someone safe tomorrow.Get connected with Jennifer & First Response Autism📧 [email protected]📱 (201)497-0536🌐 firstresponseautism.comPractical Autism Training for First Responders & Law Enforcement 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #021 Chef Calvin: From Texas BBQ to Plant-Powered: A Chef’s Journey to Fuel First Responders

    Send us a textWhat if the best meal of the day also became the calmest moment of your week? We sit down with Chef Calvin—Texas-born, French-trained, and the mind behind R&D at Burger King and Arby’s—to talk about fueling first responders with fast, affordable, wildly flavorful meals that actually support long-term health. From pecan-smoked brisket memories to the science of perfect fries, he breaks down how to build big taste with simple systems that work in real kitchens under real pressure.Calvin shares a deeply personal turn: beating prostate cancer, confronting stage three chronic kidney disease, and discovering how small food choices ripple into stress, sleep, and mood. His case for plant-forward eating isn’t dogma—it’s pragmatic. Think air-fried sweet potatoes instead of super-sized fries, chickpea pasta for fiber and protein, and tofu as a texture chameleon that crisps in a pan and carries whatever flavor you throw at it. He walks through two weeknight winners—a Tuscan tofu pasta and street-style tofu tacos—built on pantry staples, spice blends, and 20-minute timing that stands up to shift life.We also explore the power of the table. Firehouses need better kitchens, better tools, and better fuel—and Calvin’s been cooking in stations, filming step-by-steps, and using QR-linked spice sales to funnel funds back into the house. Batch cooking becomes a survival tactic; family meal becomes culture. Cooking, for him, is meditation: the chop-stir rhythm that slows the mind and builds community one plate at a time. Along the way, we touch sugar reduction, functional foods, and how to make holidays 50/50 plant-forward without losing joy.Hungry for simple wins that last? Hit play, try one small swap this week, and tell us how it goes. If this conversation sparks something, subscribe, share it with a friend on your crew, and leave a quick review so more people can find the show.Connect with Chefwww.spicedupseasonings.com@chefcalvinharris 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #020 You Don't Need to Wait Until You're Broken to Seek Help

    Send us a textHave you ever caught yourself wondering if your problems are "big enough" to justify therapy? Or perhaps you've thought, "Other people have it worse" or "I just need to tough it out." You're not alone. Many of us operate with an invisible scale of suffering, waiting until we hit rock bottom before reaching out for help.This episode challenges that mindset completely. What if therapy isn't about waiting until you're broken, but instead functions more like routine maintenance? We take care of our cars with regular oil changes and our bodies with checkups and exercise—yet somehow, we've convinced ourselves that our mental health doesn't deserve the same proactive attention.For first responders especially, the cultural pressure to maintain a "hero mindset" can make seeking help feel like failure. But reframing therapy as maintenance rather than crisis intervention changes everything. When you build emotional resilience and coping skills regularly, you have greater capacity when life's inevitable challenges arise. Your relationships improve, your work performance stays strong, and you experience more joy in everyday moments.Beyond traditional talk therapy, numerous approaches exist—from EMDR and neurofeedback to hypnosis and animal-assisted therapies. Finding the right fit might take exploration, but your mental health is worth that investment. And remember, commitment to the process matters; just as one workout won't transform your physical health, meaningful psychological growth takes time and consistency.Whether you've tried therapy before without success or have never stepped into a therapist's office, I encourage you to approach your mental health with curiosity and commitment. Don't wait for your engine to blow before getting that oil change. You deserve to live fully now, not just survive until crisis forces your hand. What small step will you take this week to invest in your mental wellbeing? 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #019 Steve Orr: Warning Lights on the Dashboard: When Your Job Is Killing You

    Send us a text"The greatest job in the world is actually destroying me." These powerful words capture the hidden struggle many first responders face behind their heroic image. In this raw, vulnerable conversation, former firefighter/paramedic Steve Orr bravely shares his 22-year journey through the fire service and the toll it took on his mental health.Steve opens up about the gradual onset of compassion fatigue and PTSD – how his nervous system became so dysregulated that even putting his son in pajamas felt like an emergency. He describes the warning signs he initially missed: uncharacteristic angry outbursts with patients, bringing rigid firehouse standards home, and emotional withdrawal from his family. With remarkable candor, Steve reveals how he contemplated suicide, sharing that his son became his primary reason to stay alive.What makes this conversation truly valuable is Steve's insight into the cultural barriers preventing first responders from seeking help. The shame associated with mental health struggles, the pressure to maintain the "hero" image, and the fear of career consequences all contribute to a dangerous silence. Having lost his father and two colleagues to suicide, Steve speaks with authority about why breaking this silence matters.The episode takes a hopeful turn as Steve details his healing journey through various therapy modalities, nervous system regulation practices, and lifestyle changes. His ability to enjoy live music again after years of avoidance stands as a powerful marker of his recovery. Now working as a community risk reduction specialist, Steve has transformed his painful experiences into a mission to help others.Whether you're a first responder, love someone who is, or simply care about mental health advocacy, this conversation offers profound insights into trauma, healing, and the courage it takes to ask for help. Steve's parting message resonates deeply: "It's okay to not be okay. Help is available, and you're not alone." 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #018 Stop Saying "You" and Start Saving Your Relationship

    Send us a textWhat happens when a volcano comes home after shift? That's how one firefighter's spouse described living with a first responder - unpredictable eruptions following periods of concerning quiet. Communication becomes the lifeline that either saves or sinks these relationships.Drawing from real feedback from first responders with 25+ years of service, this episode dives into the unique communication challenges faced by emergency personnel and their partners. From the inability to empathize with "civilian problems" after witnessing trauma to the struggle of being present when exhausted, we unpack what makes these relationships particularly vulnerable to breakdown.The Gottman Institute's research on the "Four Horsemen" - criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling - provides our framework for understanding how communication patterns predict relationship failure. You'll learn practical alternatives to these destructive habits, including the game-changing power of eliminating the word "you" from conflict conversations. Instead of "You never help with the dishes," discover how "I'm feeling overwhelmed and would appreciate help with the dishes" transforms the entire interaction.Beyond theory, this episode offers tactical approaches like the "yellow light, red light" technique for managing emotional flooding, strategies for discussing hot-button topics like money and quality time, and a simple 10-minute daily check-in practice that builds connection. The goal isn't perfect communication but rather committed practice that gradually creates new patterns of relating.Whether you're a first responder struggling to transition between work and home, or you love someone who serves, these evidence-based approaches will help you build a relationship resilient enough to withstand the unique stresses of emergency service life. Download our free "31 Ways of Connection" worksheet to start implementing small, intentional moments of connection today. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #017 What's Running Your Life? Hint: It's Not Your Conscious Thoughts

    Send us a textHave you ever wondered why you keep repeating the same patterns despite your best efforts to change? The answer lies deep within your mind's operating system – and it's more powerful than you might realize.Dive into the fascinating architecture of your mind as we explore the intricate relationship between the conscious mind, subconscious mind, and the critical factor. This episode reveals how these three components work together to shape virtually every aspect of your reality – from your automatic behaviors to your emotional responses and even your life outcomes.Your subconscious mind serves as a vast memory bank, storing a mixture of fact, perception, and fantasy since childhood. What makes it particularly powerful is that it can't distinguish between reality and imagination – it simply accepts whatever programming it receives through repetition, authority figures, and emotionally charged experiences. Before age eight, this programming enters without filtration, creating the foundation for your adult behaviors and beliefs.Between your conscious and subconscious minds sits the critical factor – a gatekeeper that develops around age seven and finalizes around fifteen. This explains why positive affirmations often fail; if you consciously repeat "I am worthy" while your subconscious firmly believes "I am unworthy," the critical factor rejects the new programming, keeping you stuck in old patterns.Understanding this mental architecture explains why lasting change can be so challenging. If you're trying to create success while subconsciously believing you're incapable, that programming will consistently undermine your efforts. True transformation requires addressing what's happening beneath the surface – reprogramming those limiting beliefs that silently direct your life.Ready to discover what's actually running your life? Listen now and take the first step toward lasting transformation by understanding the hidden architect of your reality – your subconscious mind. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #016 Egan de los Cobos: The Body Remembers, The Soul Responds: A Firefighter’s Journey Through PTSD, Transformation, & Healing

    Send us a textA devastating accident forever changed firefighter paramedic Egan De Los Cobos' life when a car plowed through a coffee shop patio where he sat with his three-year-old son. Though they survived physically, the psychological trauma triggered a cascade of mysterious health problems no doctor could explain. For years, Egan suffered silently with undiagnosed PTSD and progressively worsening autoimmune disease, afraid that seeking help might end his career.Egan shares the raw reality of what happens when trauma takes root in both mind and body. With remarkable candor, he details his journey from debilitating pain and emotional dysregulation to finding answers through EMDR therapy and holistic health approaches. His turning point came when he finally understood that physical symptoms weren't separate from mental health struggles—they were deeply interconnected through stress pathways affecting every system in his body.What makes this conversation truly powerful is Egan's transformation from suffering to purpose. Now a health coach and peer support coordinator, he uses his experience to help other first responders navigate their own healing journeys. His message combines practical wisdom about sleep, nutrition, and exercise with profound insights about nervous system regulation and the courage to face trauma head-on. Through his story, we learn how even our deepest wounds can become tools for growth and connection.Whether you're a first responder, someone struggling with unexplained health issues, or simply interested in the fascinating mind-body connection, Egan's journey illuminates the path from trauma to resilience. Connect with Egan on social media @EganFirstWellness or visit firstwellnesshealth.com to explore his work supporting first responder health. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #015 Beyond the Critical Factor: Can Ketamine Help You Access Hidden Healing?

    Send us a textHave you ever felt stuck despite trying "all the right things"? Talk therapy, medication, pushing through—and yet those same patterns keep emerging, those same wounds keep reopening. You're not alone, especially if you're a first responder.Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) offers a fundamentally different approach to healing trauma and breaking through stubborn mental barriers. Unlike traditional therapies that work primarily with the conscious mind, ketamine temporarily bypasses what therapists call the "critical factor"—that internal gatekeeper that often rejects new perspectives about ourselves, especially healing ones.The science behind KAP is fascinating. Ketamine works on the glutamate system rather than serotonin pathways, activating brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) which supercharges neuroplasticity. Think of your habitual thought patterns as deep sled tracks in snow—ketamine provides fresh powder, allowing you to create entirely new paths rather than sliding back into the same old grooves. By temporarily quieting the default mode network, it gives you access to your subconscious mind where deep-rooted memories, beliefs, and traumas are stored.For first responders, this approach is particularly valuable because trauma isn't just stored in memory—it lives in the body. Those unexplained physical symptoms like chest tightness, back pain, or digestive issues often connect directly to unprocessed experiences. KAP offers a unique perspective where you can safely explore these connections without judgment or fear, processing what happened with a new level of emotional clarity.The treatment process involves thorough preparation, carefully guided medicine sessions in a controlled setting, and integration work to make the insights permanent. This isn't about escaping reality—it's about transforming how you engage with it. As one firefighter discovered after addressing chronic anger issues: "Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed. It means it no longer controls your life."What patterns have you outgrown but can't seem to break? What might you discover about yourself if you got quiet enough to listen? For those ready to explore this path to healing, we're here to guide you through the journey. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #014: Melissa Alvarez: Behind the Flame: A Firefighter's Wife Speaks

    Send us a textWhat happens when the fire trucks leave the station and first responders head home? For the families left behind, a unique journey unfolds – one filled with both challenges and profound strength.Melissa opens her heart about life as a firefighter's wife and mother, revealing the emotional reality behind the scenes. "We are holding it down at home," she shares, fighting back tears as she describes the invisible load carried by first responder families. Having navigated this lifestyle for over a decade while raising young children, she offers wisdom that only experience can provide.The conversation delves into the complex dance of supporting someone who regularly witnesses trauma while maintaining household stability. Melissa discusses how she's learned to read her husband's emotional state after difficult shifts and create space for processing without taking it personally. "You can tell when your firefighter comes home and in the eyes," she notes, highlighting the unspoken communication that develops between couples in this lifestyle.Beyond the challenges, Melissa illuminates paths toward thriving as a first responder family. From building community among department spouses to creating meaningful rituals of connection as a couple, she shares practical strategies that have strengthened her family. Her advocacy for mental health support, both for firefighters and their spouses, cuts through stigma with refreshing honesty.Perhaps most powerful is Melissa's journey to reclaim her identity beyond being "just" a firefighter's wife. Through her platform @firefamilysupport, she's building bridges between isolated spouses while discovering her own capacity for impact. Her message resonates with anyone balancing family responsibilities: "Give yourself grace" and "allow people to show up for you."Whether you're part of a first responder family or simply interested in understanding their unique world, this conversation offers rare insight into the hearts and homes supporting those who serve our communities. Listen and discover why no one should navigate this journey alone. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #013 The Costume Closet: False Identities

    Send us a textWho are you when the uniform comes off? When the relationship ends? When the bank account empties? Today's powerful exploration challenges us to look beyond the external identities we cling to and discover our authentic selves.Many of us become deeply attached to our professional roles, introducing ourselves first by our job titles. I share my personal journey of identity crisis after leaving my firefighter paramedic career—how the admiration and status that came with the uniform became addictive, and how disorienting it felt when that identity fell away. This experience mirrors what happens to many when roles suddenly disappear through retirement, relationship changes, or career shifts.We explore why we define ourselves through external markers: careers, relationships, accomplishments, and financial status. These false identities create a precarious foundation for self-worth, leaving us vulnerable when circumstances change. The "next thing" trap keeps us perpetually chasing the next promotion, purchase, or achievement, believing happiness lies just beyond. For first responders and others with elevated dopamine thresholds, this cycle becomes increasingly extreme yet never satisfying.The beautiful opportunity emerges when these roles fall away. By shedding what Gabor Maté calls our addictions to external validation, we create space for our authentic selves to emerge. Discovering your "I am" beyond your "I do" brings profound freedom. Therapy, journaling, meditation, and spiritual practices can guide this journey of self-discovery.This week, notice when you automatically define yourself by what you do. Pause and reflect: Who are you becoming? Not who you were or who others expect you to be, but your true, authentic self. As Lao Tzu wisely noted, "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." Join us around the fire as we shed our costumes and discover who we truly are. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #012: Addicted to Suffering: Choosing the Hell We Know

    Send us a textWhy do we cling so tightly to the very things that cause us pain? It's a question that cuts to the heart of the human experience, and one that reveals a startling truth: we often become addicted to our own suffering. I share how we frequently choose "the hell we know over the heaven we don't" because our subconscious mind perceives familiar pain as safe, even when it's destroying us. This isn't about self-sabotage—it's about how our brains are wired for survival and predictability, even at the cost of our wellbeing.The suffering addiction shows up everywhere—in toxic relationships we can't leave, substances we use to numb out, chaotic work environments we perpetuate, and those mental loops telling us we're not enough. As Thich Nhat Hanh wisely observed, "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering out of fear of the unknown." Our ego, desperate for control, keeps us trapped in these patterns.But there's hope in understanding this cycle. Your suffering has a message—it's trying to teach you something. The challenge lies in being willing to get "sick of being sick" enough to make meaningful changes. Through awareness, acceptance without shame, and intentional thought patterns, we can begin breaking free. The transformative visualization exercise at the end guides you through identifying and compassionately releasing the weights of suffering you've been carrying. Remember that healing isn't a quick fix or hard reset—it's about small, consistent shifts that accumulate into profound change.Ready to explore what's on the other side of the familiar pain you've been carrying? Listen now, and discover that you aren't broken by your suffering—you're becoming who you were always meant to be. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #011 Stress & Fear: Beyond the Job

    Send us a textWhat if the root of your stress and anxiety could be addressed through understanding? In this enlightening episode, we tackle the complex interplay of stress and fear that many of us face daily. With staggering statistics revealing that 70% of Americans grapple with stress regularly, it is time to confront these feelings rather than allow them to control our lives.We dive deep into the science behind stress—distinguishing between acute and chronic forms and highlighting how they affect our mental well-being. Moreover, we reflect on the common stressors in our lives, from financial pressures and relationships to health concerns and the feeling of isolation. By examining these contributors, we empower you to take a proactive approach towards managing stress effectively.Throughout our conversation, we emphasize the importance of replacing fear-driven thoughts with a mindset oriented towards abundance and control. Learn practical strategies that encompass better sleep, nourishing nutrition, engaging fun activities, and the necessity of community support. Each tactic is designed to help you reclaim your peace and joy in everyday life.Join our community as we emphasize that although stress and fear are part of the human experience, we can learn to manage them. Cultivating an abundance mindset can lead to personal freedom and empowerment. Tune in, and let’s navigate this journey together! Your feedback, thoughts, and experiences matter to us, so please connect with us, share your insights, and be part of our growing community. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #010 Find Your Why, Change Your Life

    Send us a textWhat drives first responders to keep going in the face of adversity? Join me, Ashlea, as we explore this profound question through the wisdom of Viktor Frankl, Martin Seligman, and Dr. Joe Dispenza. Discover how understanding our "why" can ignite passion and courage, transforming our roles and preventing burnout. These thinkers share insights into resilience and purpose, offering guidance on how to integrate our passions and talents into our professional lives, with empathy and strength leading the way.Embrace the full spectrum of happiness, from the simple pleasures in life to the deeper fulfillment found in service and purpose. We'll unravel the concepts of the pleasant, good, and meaningful life, suggesting that true engagement comes from aligning our strengths with activities that bring us joy. By doing so, we can achieve flow states and profound satisfaction, ultimately leading to a life enriched by purpose and service to others. You'll learn practical ways to bring more meaning into your life, enhancing your well-being and presence in everyday experiences.Explore the power of the mind and body connection for healing and resilience. As first responders often find themselves in high-stress environments, unprocessed trauma can have significant impacts. Through the lens of neuroplasticity, we'll examine how consciously rewiring thoughts and emotions can lead to better mental health outcomes. From mindfulness and meditation to releasing trauma stored in the body, we discuss tools that can help redefine our identity beyond our professional roles. This episode invites you to share your personal "why" and foster a community of growth and purpose. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #009 Pam Howes: Family, Flight, and Finding Balance

    Send us a textPam's journey into emergency medical services started with an unplanned decision that blossomed into a nearly three-decade-long career. What began as a spontaneous leap into an EMT class has evolved into a remarkable life in EMS, from working with MedTrans Ambulance and Pride Mark Paramedics to soaring the skies as a flight nurse. Pam’s experiences offer a powerful narrative on the impact of small choices and the profound influence of family, as her own children pursue careers in service-oriented roles, inspired by their mother and father's dedication to community service.Our conversation with Pam reveals her reflections on work-life balance, an area where her children have naturally excelled. Pam shares her pride in their ability to set boundaries and prioritize personal time, a skill she admits was elusive during her own career. The cultural shifts in workplace expectations have opened doors to healthier lifestyles, making retirement a bittersweet transition. Together, we tackle the challenges of finding identity post-career and explore the emotional journey that accompanies stepping away from a life defined by service.This episode also tackles the pressing topic of mental health support in high-pressure professions like healthcare and emergency services. Pam advocates for a cultural transformation that integrates mental health care into Workman’s Compensation, ensuring that financial burdens do not deter healing. Her insights highlight the necessity of a supportive environment that prioritizes well-being, balancing the demands of a first responder career with personal life. Through her story, Pam underscores the importance of self-care and finding fulfillment beyond the uniform, offering advice for both current and future generations in demanding fields. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #008 "Hi. My name is Ashlea, and I am a recovering 'fawner.'

    Send us a textUnlock the mystery of the fawn response, a survival mechanism that might be influencing your relationships more than you realize. Can the art of appeasement be a hidden threat to your authenticity? Join us as we dissect how inviting a metaphorical lion to tea might be more than just a quirky metaphor—it’s a coping strategy that can lead to codependency and self-abandonment. This episode promises to shed light on the fawn response and its impact on maintaining genuine connections without sacrificing self-honesty.We also untangle the complex dance between authenticity and attachment, driven by early interactions with caretakers. Have you ever felt torn between being true to yourself and maintaining connections? We explore how these ingrained patterns, shaped by our nervous system, can create anxiety and hinder genuine relationships. Our conversation provides insights into reprogramming these attachment styles, balancing instinct with learned behaviors, and creating a safe space for true connection.Lastly, discover the connection between physical health, mental well-being, and the crucial role of boundaries and self-care. From the surprising effects of dietary choices on your mental state to strategies for managing stress with nervous system-specific tools, we cover it all. Learn how to manage your stress "bucket" and embrace self-regulation practices that foster independence and resilience. Join us in a journey towards understanding, healing, and ultimately thriving in healthier, more authentic relationships. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #007 The Fainting Goat: Freeze Response

    Send us a textWhat if the very mechanism meant to protect you could also hold you back? Join us as we unravel the intricate dance between the body's freeze response and functional freeze, vivid reflections of our physiological battle when faced with overwhelming stress and trauma. Picture a gazelle frozen under a predator's gaze—it's a vivid metaphor for how our own nervous systems react under threat, toggling between activity and immobility. Through personal experiences and vivid storytelling, we confront the daunting interplay of our sympathetic and parasympathetic systems, often leaving us teetering between action and shutdown. We also navigate the challenging realm of dissociation, shedding light on its spectrum from mild detachment to total disconnection.For those on the frontline, like our first responders, the struggle is doubly intense. These everyday heroes often walk a line between high-stakes alertness at work and a numbing void at home. We dissect how such patterns can entrap them in cycles of avoidance, from doom scrolling to substance use. Recognizing the early signs of burnout—chronic fatigue and dwindling drive—is critical. Armed with techniques like tactical breathing and meditation, there's hope in reclaiming one's well-being. Tune in to gain insights and actionable strategies to better manage these physiological responses, keeping you engaged and connected with life. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #006 The Ditirro's: Enduring Partnership: Balancing Fire Service Life, Family, and New Beginnings with LeAnne and Danny

    Send us a text 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #005 Pete DePrez: Reframing Trauma, Mental Health, and Recovery

    Send us a textWhat if the heroes who rush toward danger need saving themselves? Join us as Pete, a former sheriff deputy, SWAT member, FTO, and fire arms instructor in Colorado, opens up about his arduous journey through trauma, mental health struggles, and recovery. With service spanning over a decade, Pete shares his deeply personal story, from a head injury at 18 months old to the relentless challenges faced in law enforcement. His struggle with chronic sleep issues led to alcohol addiction, a battle he eventually conquered, illuminating the often unseen mental health battles that first responders endure.In our conversation, Pete courageously tackles the stigma of PTSD and prescription medication, revealing how he navigated these challenges while maintaining a demanding professional life. Discover the difficult decisions he made, such as taking a leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act, and his experiences with medications like Lexapro and Xanax. As perceptions of mental health slowly evolve, Pete's story underscores the critical need for awareness and support in professional environments, offering hope and inspiration for change.Connect with Pete at AMS Foundation https://asmfoundation.com/ 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #004 UFC Match: FIGHT: Attack before the threat attacks

    Send us a textDiscover the hidden connections within your brain and how they shape your responses to stress and trauma. Ever wondered why certain situations trigger intense emotions out of nowhere? We explore the concept of emotional flashbacks and neurotags, revealing how past experiences intertwine with present triggers to ignite these powerful reactions. Through relatable scenarios, we explain the science behind this phenomenon, demonstrating why the phrase "neurons that fire together wire together" holds so much significance in understanding our emotional responses.We delve into the dual nature of anger, contrasting the destructive force of a hyperactive fight response with the healthy expression of anger. By highlighting the physical and emotional toll of staying in a perpetual state of heightened alert, especially on those like first responders, we emphasize the importance of completing the stress cycle. Through vivid analogies and real-life examples, we illustrate how unexpressed anger can become lodged within the body, manifesting as chronic stress, memory issues, and even physical pain. Our discussion equips you with insights to recognize these patterns and the potential for profound change.Lastly, we embark on a journey toward healing, offering hope and strategies for those trapped in an overactive fight state. Understanding the signs—such as controlling behaviors, insomnia, and hypervigilance—can be the first step toward reclaiming your wellbeing. While these patterns might feel ingrained, they are not unchangeable. We share tools and encouragement to choose healthier pathways, emphasizing the continuous work required to rewire our nervous systems. Before wrapping up, we provide a sneak peek into our next discussion, where we'll shift focus to the freeze response, examining its complexities and impact. Join us as we navigate these intricate layers of the human experience. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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    #003 Protective Output: FLIGHT "Can I Escape?"

    Send us a textUnlock the secrets of your brain's survival instincts as we explore the protective outputs of the nervous system, focusing on the well-known responses of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Learn how understanding these mechanisms can empower you to manage anxiety and improve your emotional regulation. We'll discuss how the amygdala, our brain's alarm system, sometimes triggers heightened responses even in safe settings, and why recognizing these signals can transform how we interact with the world.Dive into the intricate dance of the flight response, especially pertinent to those in high-stress roles like public safety and first responders. Discover how this response, designed to channel energy and enhance focus, can lead to health challenges when overactive, manifesting in issues like sleep disturbances and workaholism. We'll break down the physical changes your body undergoes and explore the psychological impacts that can blur the lines between professional and personal life.Join our conversation on the profound effects of anxiety as a nervous system response, where work stress can spill over into our home environments, potentially disrupting personal relationships. Through personal stories, we shed light on the importance of reinterpreting anxiety signals to prevent them from escalating into panic or depression. Our ongoing discussion invites you to prepare your questions for future episodes, as we continue to unravel the complexities of the nervous system's protective outputs. Stay tuned for an in-depth exploration of the fight response, promising more insights around the fire next time. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

  50. 2

    #002 Mike Major: Embrace the Change: A Journey Through Stress, Healing, and Gratitude

    Send us a textWhat if the toughest battles are the ones we fight within ourselves? Retired firefighter and paramedic Michael Major joins us for a raw and insightful exploration into the emotional and psychological challenges faced by first responders. Having dedicated over 23 years to a high-stakes career, Michael opens up about how the pressures of his job affected his personal life, relationships, and mental health. He shares his story of dealing with emotional repression, isolation, and the daily struggle to find motivation amid overwhelming stress. Michael's candid reflections offer a window into the mental toll of careers that require constant resilience.Throughout our conversation, we tackle the lingering stigma surrounding mental health, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging signs of burnout and seeking help before reaching a breaking point. We discuss innovative therapies like ketamine-assisted psychotherapy, which offer new hope for those feeling lost in their mental clutter. Michael shares his personal journey with psychedelic therapies, illustrating how such treatments can open new perspectives and aid in resetting the mind. The episode also challenges traditional notions of toughness and career longevity, examining the impact of intergenerational trauma and the evolving attitudes toward emotional openness.The pursuit of balance in life and self-care emerges as a vital theme in our discussion. We explore strategies for managing stress and the critical role of community support in personal growth. From embracing new self-care practices to savoring the simple joys of Thanksgiving carbs, we delve into the continuous journey of self-healing. Michael's story serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of being open to new perspectives, questioning long-held beliefs, and prioritizing emotional well-being. Join us as we navigate the complexities of mental health and uncover the transformative potential of embracing change and gratitude. 🔥Let's Be Friends https://www.facebook.com/share/1EjJ6tMtyk/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://www.instagram.com/sitaroundthefire.co?igsh=MTN2OTljNTNqYjJwaw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.tiktok.com/@sitaroundthefire.co?_t=ZP-8zNMiGL9hl8&_r=1

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ABOUT THIS SHOW

🔥 Sit Around the Fire 🔥For anyone seeking healing, growth, and connection — including first responders, military members, and their families.Welcome to Sit Around the Fire — the space where stories ignite transformation. Hosted by a former first responder turned licensed professional counselor and certified hypnotherapist, this podcast blends real-life experiences, powerful teachings, and practical tools for mental and physical health.Each episode invites you to slow down, reflect, and find your spark again. Together, we explore mindfulness, stress management, trauma recovery, and PTSD healing — all through the lens of someone who’s lived it. You’ll hear raw conversations with first responders, veterans, and mental health experts as well as other incredible human beings with amazing stories and missions who share their wisdom on how to move from burnout to balance, from survival mode to thrivin

HOSTED BY

Ashlea Dillard

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