046 - Jack Wagner's Ring Cycle: Siegfried

TARA ARIANO and SARAH D. BUNTING of the EXTRA HOT GREAT podcast return for 2018's THE WEDDING MARCH 3: HERE COMES THE BRIDE and: This beautiful gazebo ... THEME ... Christmas memories ... Gotti ... A soothing movie ... Weather and kiss failure ... Grownup conversations ... WHEN ARE THEY GETTING MARRIED??? ... Second-sequel energy ... BREAK ... The Expositional Challenge ... Empty on Valentine's ... Spot the Angel: Duke reprise, Olivia's bullying mom, Johnny ... Duke on Stargate ... Duke's Lair, without comfort or sustenance ... Classic Lines: Stripper heels, no ass, manky wig, Julie's swimsuit modeling, a fashion designer in London, Nora and Olivia's identical fashion, Marvin Berry's blue suit, black bridesmaids' dresses, trying on the bride's dress, a chain store where royalty shops ... BREAK ... Mick's Music Update: Fake keyboard playing; not enough Wagner numbers; awful mixing, room tone and ADR; last-minute booking; repeated "surprise" takes; ducks callback ... Eat Your Heart Out: Frumpy midwestern food; clearing out the farmer's market; Julie's BS chef dreams; take a job anywhere; onions are really important; Julie smiling, wincing and leering; breaded loaves and gray meated loaves; have a breakup sandwich ... BREAK ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: Mick and Lori Loughlin share a sister, Duke may be Wallace Shawn, and Nora and Johnny shop at Garbage Store Mysteries ... Overdetermined: Men and women aren't the same (with shooting stars and Rockford music) vs. "early spring" themes vs. Francesca ... Crossover: Jack Wagner's The Sopranos vs. Julie's LA gap year vs. Swing revival bankruptcy ... Build-a-Buré Workshop: "Bastille Day" vs. "I Dos Svidaniya" vs. Olivia's Daughter's 30-year cold-feet wedding or Trent Brushwood meets Duke and the Penelope Device ... Penelope, the Alexa baby monitor that owns you ... "Play something fun to dance to" ... BREAK ... Hallmark Bechtel Test: Yes, but applying the test here is flawed ... The Leftovers: Zero-employee cleanup ... Julie stealing Duke's job ... Bonnie's childhood dream wedding ... "It's Bonnie! Your sister!" ... Wyatt died vs. the Wyatt budget ... #MeToo'd Wyatt ... "I'll be on the edge of the property" ... Non-white speaking actor! ... Grow a beard, Wagner ... Confinscated for the nuptials ... Julie's post-teen relationship advice ... Rating: 3 ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "You and Me" by Jack Wagner • "Common Man," by Jack Wagner • "Burning Heart," by Survivor • "All I Need," by Jack Wagner • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane