PODCAST · comedy
It's Christmastown
by Vigorous Marvin
Journalists Jeb Lund and David J. Roth step away from real world anxieties and step into the gentle, cornball, consequence-free world of the Hallmark Channel. Each time, we discuss a different Hallmark original movie—from Christmas cheer, to wedding jitters, to junk-store detectives—and break it down into recognizable components of angels, moms, moppets, sugary foods and themed sweaters, and try to make sense of when the stories veer away from comfort films and land in the uncanny valley. Welcome to a sweet, stilted vision of the world—not an escape from modern life, but a relaxing trip to an alternate universe where everyone is silly, chaste, nice, and mostly doing fine.
Episodes
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145 - Football Psyop at Fubu Stadium
HOLLY ANDERSON and RYAN NANNI return in crisp Fanatics jerseys for HOLIDAY TOUCHDOWN: A BILLS LOVE STORY (2025) but is Dave... Italianx? … Let's start now! … Who's blameless? … Relatable mortification … Damar... FIRST HALF Car Talk, but Ball … Ryan and Holly are two different people … Do our...
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144 - Reverse Seinfeld for Phlegmless People
MAURA QUINT, CHARLES STAR and AARON KLEINMAN return for OY TO THE WORLD! (2025) but wait... Now? … Sufganiyot? … Episode 142 … We'll do it live! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE The happiest Vibecheck of all! … More Jews on this podcast…
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143 - A God-Prank Christmas: The Miracle of Obstinacy!
We're astrally projecting into an aldis lamp to tell CHRISTMAS BEDTIME STORIES (2022), but we are absolutely not dead, we're just… TEASER: In Florida, ok? … Top 10 JACKED-UP Movies … Call the General THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE DEAD…
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142 - Heptarchy of Hospitaliano!
It's a Boogie-Woogie Royal boy and girl named Dee Dee having A ROYAL QUEEN'S CHRISTMAS (2021), and how did we find it?… TEASER: I use-a da Google! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Getting the lead out for the NYC marathon … "Darren…
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141 - The Great Yiddish Bake Off
ANDY LEVY, MAURA QUINT & CHARLES STAR return for a latke contest and a little HANUKKAH ON RYE (2022) but first... Everyone is being disrespectful to the story of Hanukkah. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Minyan introductions … Jewish menu...
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140 - Blind, Incoherent and Metal as Hell
HOLLY ANDERSON brings us a piping hot basket of dogs to help us in GUIDING EMILY (2023), but… TEASER: We're at a loss … DMT and Togo … Live barking … THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Holly's forever home … Garth? … Hallmark knowledge (+200...
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139 - Snow Crashing the Joe Morgan Moneyball Universe
Why did we try to find LOVE IN GLACIER NATIONAL PARK (2025)? Because it is there. As is… TEASER: The horniest avalanche-safety film we've ever seen, trapped in the Beavis terrarium of the ancestral mind, with Steve. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather...
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138 - Josie and the Gilrbosses
We're having a launch party for the stuffed Italian bread triptychs honoring SISTERHOOD, INC. (2025), but first... TEASER: Don't fiddle with the knobs, or it's Queens for ya. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Happy Employment Movie! …...
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137 - Chocopurse Presents: Collateral (All-22 Footage)
We're spending all day in the car on our way to a stationary restaurant, and them's the breaks with AN UNEXPECTED VALENTINE (2025), but first... TEASER: Our respect for the Boboli Corporation. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Foster Grant,...
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136 - Gergich in the Machine
It's a new era of stripping color from the world, and all anyone can ask is WHERE ARE YOU, CHRISTMAS? (2023), but first... Yeah, the audio thing was Dave's fault. I said it. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE How I met your mother ... Doc...
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135 - An Open-Faced Hallmark Movie
We brought a murderer home who had an advent calendar kill schedule, and 'TWAS THE DATE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (2024), but first... A Christmastown message from TV's Andy Levy ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Watching with a widow ......
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134 - Giving Millennial Pandering a Hand
DC PIERSON hitches a ride on a taco truck to THE SANTA SUMMIT (2023), but... Is that the blowjob guy? THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Meet DC! ... Santacon: A cold version of St. Patrick's Day ... DC's Hallmark Wicker Man experience ......
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133 - Women Laughing Alone with Christmas (Hockey Edition)
JAMIE KIRSTEN HOWARD lost her credit card and the clerk is CHECKIN IT TWICE (2023), but... We've already got the furry erotica! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Glitterburrito ... Georgia championship hockey ... How Hallmark casting works...
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132 - Leftover Choirs Are How We Get Aunts
Our secret families said it's TIME FOR HER TO COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS (2023), but first... Let's sing ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Welcome to the cumbersome title, b*tch ... Cocoa in camo ... Throwback movie ... Cast Rundown ......
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131 - Live, Donut, Repeat
MAURA QUINT & CHARLES STAR get trapped going ROUND AND ROUND (2023) with us, but... Shut up, kids, it's the second episode of Hanukkah! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Chag Sameach ... We regret the errors ... It's good! ... Jew Belong...
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130 - Curated Pilot, Dead Lobstermen
MEREDITH CLARK and Jeb travel to CHRISTMAS ISLAND (2023), but... The lighthouse made me so angry ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Attracted to the Menendez Brothers ... Six years of sloth ... Brain-braising movie cred ... "Christmas...
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129 - The Almost Famous of Brain Cancer
We're checking out cemeteries for when MS. CHRISTMAS COMES TO TOWN (2023), but... You're gonna wanna braise that elf ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Blood tests ... Letters to Santa: 'Are You Dead?' Edition ... New big TV ... Gatorade...
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128 - Bring the Troops Back to Home Goods
JESSICA RITCHEY supports a HOLIDAY FOR HEROES (2019) because: It's not a movie you watch, it's a pill you take ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Save a Troop Child ... "Dad History" - Michael Jackson ... Jessica: Tubi Magus ...…
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127 - A Gazebo Movie with Christmas Attached
Grab a 2x4 for the gazebo, it's A VERY MERRY BRIDESMAID (2021), but... Let's get back to the ugly Christmas sweater bachelor party ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Meet me at the gazebo ... Sleepytime ... Bright Lights, Big Sweater ......
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126 - Journal to the Center of the Turf
RYAN NANNI discovers all roads lead to Arli$$, and we're A WINNING TEAM (2023) because: All we see is the goal ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Ryan's podcast samsara ... Rebawatchables ... Lady Frankenstein ... Mary Shelley, Bobby...
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125 - If You Can Book Her, Joyner
Surprise! It's AN UNEXPECTED CHRISTMAS (2021) and we're still dating! Also, ... This is a bad idea ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Turn on Dave's She-Shed ... Lair, fort, Rodney Dangerfield ... Unprepared! ... "The Single Guy" ......
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124 - Dream Cookies, Wine MILFs, Moon Boat
We celebrate A KISMET CHRISTMAS (2022) with one dose of cookies and realize ... When the ingenues need help, they make one call: La Chabert ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Jeb's at the Strawberry Festival ... Simultaneous Strep and...
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123 - Faeries, Dr. Weir, Things of That Nature
We take A FABLED HOLIDAY (2022) out of time, and we apologize: No one's claiming the rights ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Play that glissando! ... Holiday recap: Hatchet accident, child custody, punting to Queens ... "Hanukkah…
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122 - A Pumpkin for Klendathu
It's PUMPKIN EVERYTHING (2022), and we'll never pass up a good thing. Radio by seniors, for seniors ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Bug planet! ... Michael Ironside Appreciation Station ... Extremely weird, way too real ... Dead...
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121 - Assault on the Waist Rising
CASEY JOHNSTON'S making us stretch before WARMING UP TO YOU (2021), but we're willing to reconsider if: We want to buy that "Congrats on finding a floater" card ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Toilet drop ... Meet Casey! ... Love...
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120 - A Floating Meatball of Barbarism
JONATHAN KATZ and SAM ADLER-BELL sail into history aboard the USS Christmas (2020), but first: Let's go get hot chocolate! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Meet Jon, Sam, Sam's grandma and Jon's mom! ... Happy story, death machine ... Cast...
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119 - Play Dates with the Pun Patrol
We started DATING THE DELANEYS (2022), but: Do you know how loud jai alai is? ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Wink! ... Wine Clown (taupe) ... Rom-rom, with jokes ... Jennifer Barrow Appreciation Station ... Break: Original music…
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118 - Rabbit Forensics with the Yaaas Droids
Uproxx's VINCE MANCINI gave us a buzz to talk CUT, COLOR, MURDER (2022), but: Forensics can wait for the pageant ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE All things seamy, guest starring Sutton Niekro ... Sopranos vs. Hallmark podcasting…
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117 - Law Dog's Dog Law and Bear Claw Law Pod
CHARLES STAR is remanded to WALKING THE DOG (2017) and arguing public-use law via: Circuit court bingo (wait for applause) ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Free legal advice! ... Reporters who don't vote ... Best lawed plans ... Pet...
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116 - Christmas Cocoa with Coach Cuckoo
ANDY LEVY comes out of retirement and needs A CHEERFUL CHRISTMAS with THE CHRISTMAS COACH (2022), all that plus: Highlights and analysis from Cousin Peter. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE The New Abnormal, an unserious podcast ... Pink...
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115 - Hallmark Is the Dog Chained to Its Spontaneity
PAT BLANCHFIELD puts the death drive on autopilot to consider (with) us THE PERFECT PAIRING (2022), plus: It's no big deal, it's just amnesia! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Meet Pat Blanchfield! ... CGI soufflé ... Concussed? Take two...
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114 - Four Weddings and a Sour Bro
We're carbo-loading for a WEDDING EVERY WEEKEND (2020) but we're breaking down on the: The Smelts-to-Dealts Pipeline … "I'm a sourdough guy" … THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE "Four Weddings and a [Car] Restoration" ... Pure, high-concept...
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113 - Fart Butler, False Consciousness
The Daily Beast's ASAWIN SUEBSAENG joins us to observe BUTLERS IN LOVE (2022) and ask: Did you hear when the butt went "Bwaammp"? THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Violating dibs ... A Desperate Housewives thing ... Go to bed, Ryan Murphy…
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112 - Sketchy Santa's Sliding Doors
Writer/activist MAURA QUINT returns for A KISS BEFORE CHRISTMAS (2021), to learn: Wishmaster-ass Santa Claus ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE A singular Countdown to Christmas Countdown ... Welcome to Nog Chat ... The Jewish BS starts...
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111 - Irish Loaf Mode on the Mulch Oaf
ZACK HANDLEN of the AV Club (and more) joins us, AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT (2021), to learn: This is our job, and we're doing our job ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE The Irish BS starts early ... All foreign accents are the same ...…
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110 - Thanksgiving 2021, Part II: The Turkey Bowl
WILL LEITCH spikes this show into THE TURKEY BOWL (2019) and gets us community service watching: The Barry Switzer Showcase ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Not a baking mystery ... It's not it! ... Too many penises and butts within…
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109 - Thanksgiving 2021, Part I: Fever Dream with Will Leitch
TEASER: Thanksgiving, 2031: A Reckoning Everyone's not murdered, and nothing is magnetic ... THEME: "Dead Man's Party," by Oingo Boingo PART ONE: All Our Troubles Are Gone Welcome back to Will Leitch ... No plugs ... Vaccinated child blood ... Mask affinity ... Can there be a pandemic off-ramp?…
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108 - The Wine Clown and the Disappearing Children
We get looped into a TIMELESS LOVE (2019) and forget our kids to: Find out what your mom's coffin would be like! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Flexing some podcast muscles ... Embarrassing personal life statement ... Accidentally…
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107 - It's Rom-Som Time: Everybody Get Amish!
We FOLLOW OUR HEART (2020) to Mountain View, Arkansas and: It's good to not be entertained ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE We're back! We're back! ... Workin' pieless before vacation ... Is this a mystery? ... Malick-inflected TV…
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106 - Inchon Landing on the War on Christmas
SARA KATE WILKINSON takes us CRASHING THROUGH THE SNOW (2021) and: We kept the shirt on, and we liked it ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Kasem intro ... You get $20, but we never speak again ... The Edge ... "Back to normal and fine"...
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105 - A Bi Bagel Risk
SARAH D. BUNTING joins BRANDI BROWN to solve CROSSWORD MYSTERIES: A PUZZLE TO DIE FOR (2019), starting with: A getting-to-be-so-driven exercise ... Don't look at the NY Magazine's art critic's life ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE…
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104 - Hitting on the Pineapplebee's Hostess
NPR's LINDA HOLMES joins TARA ARIANO in saying YOU HAD ME AT ALOHA (2021) and: Pick up the phone and pod. What's so difficult? Just pick up the phone and pod. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE The GOAT Lady ... Linda's Hallmark cred ...…
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103 - Have You Thought About Fear
MAURA QUINT returns and we DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART (2021) for: Editing IMDB to include more scared priests ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Welcome back Maura ... Flip this host ... No song ... Noom brainwashing ... "Advantage...
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102 - Everybody's All Liotta
We're adding A DASH OF LOVE (2017) and: We're going to pass on the rolls. THEME: THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel ... Brendan Penny heat check ... Barely a movie ... Wasted Gilpin ... Previously…
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101 - Cranpagne Wishes and Moxie Dreams
We're the next big thing, and we're in the BEVERLY HILLS WEDDING (2021) and: We had to cancel the Beverly Hills wedding. THEME: "The Rockford Files," by Mike Post PART ONE Dave is baking evasive ... THE Beverly Hills wedding ... Dan Smith, BYU ... Edited by Valentine's, 2022 ... Go balls out ......
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100 - Rich Problems for Bog People
SARA KATE WILKINSON and MAURA QUINT ice over CRANBERRY CHRISTMAS (2020) and: Gabe had to go live on the cranberry farm THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE We bought the farm! ... Meet Maura ... Losing your Hallmark virginity ... A…
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099 - Accidentally Racist in Chet's Galaxy
We speak to the dead for A NASHVILLE CHRISTMAS CAROL (2020) and: We are doing this cold open live ... The Francesa Voice ... Four letters, starts with D THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Buster Poindexter ... Show business ... Terry...
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098 - Buckley's Big Naturals (but Not in Excess)
We get handsome and competent with THE CHRISTMAS HOUSE (2020) and: Treat Williams is not in The Substitute ... It's natural and OK to talk about Treat Williams ... Wrong movie ... Daybrooding ... Sniper THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE...
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097 - Can Steal Art, Can't Tend Bar
BRANDI BROWN joins us for GARAGE SALE MYSTERY: THE ART OF MURDER (2017) and: A message about our namechange. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Let's cancel! ... First, dead family, THEN pandemic ... April 13, 2019 ... Kill your computer ......
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096 - The Elf-Developer Trust Continuum
TARA ARIANO and SARAH D. BUNTING take a trip to NORTHPOLE (2014) and: Robots, they're just like us ... Classic Tudyk ... THEME ... Joe E. Tata ... Plugs! ... Sequel book ... No Swank ... "Enough" ... Dina Meyer ... Ridgewood, NJ. 07450 ... Pleasantly surprised ... Accidentally in Love ... Paula...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Journalists Jeb Lund and David J. Roth step away from real world anxieties and step into the gentle, cornball, consequence-free world of the Hallmark Channel. Each time, we discuss a different Hallmark original movie—from Christmas cheer, to wedding jitters, to junk-store detectives—and break it down into recognizable components of angels, moms, moppets, sugary foods and themed sweaters, and try to make sense of when the stories veer away from comfort films and land in the uncanny valley. Welcome to a sweet, stilted vision of the world—not an escape from modern life, but a relaxing trip to an alternate universe where everyone is silly, chaste, nice, and mostly doing fine.
HOSTED BY
Vigorous Marvin
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does It's Christmastown have?
It's Christmastown currently has 127 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is It's Christmastown about?
Journalists Jeb Lund and David J. Roth step away from real world anxieties and step into the gentle, cornball, consequence-free world of the Hallmark Channel. Each time, we discuss a different Hallmark original movie—from Christmas cheer, to wedding jitters, to junk-store detectives—and break it...
How often does It's Christmastown release new episodes?
It's Christmastown publishes regularly with 127 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to It's Christmastown?
You can listen to It's Christmastown on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts It's Christmastown?
It's Christmastown is created and hosted by Vigorous Marvin.
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