05 | Embracing the Messy Sides of Self-love with Dawn Church

The happy shiny aspects of self-love might get the most time in the spotlight, but the messy parts are just as in need of our attention. In this delightful conversation with personal coach Dawn Church, we talk about how experiencing the full range of self-love involves welcoming and attending to all parts of ourselves, even the ones we'd prefer to ignore. Dawn even manages to convince me that meltdowns are a form of self-love and self-care, much as we might hate them while they’re happening.Resources, References, and Links:Dawn’s website: Tempered – https://www.tempered.life/Follow Dawn on Instagram: @Tempered.life – https://www.instagram.com/tempered.life/Miley Cyrus’ “Flowers.” Cyrus performed this smash hit at the 2024 Grammy awards, and I definitely have had the song on repeat lately: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7KNmW9a75YTaking yourself on a date. My post about taking self-love seriously: “Take Yourself on a F*cking Date” – https://settlingisbullshit.com/2024/04/02/take-yourself-on-a-fcking-date/Edwardian Farm. This BBC miniseries follows two archeologists and a domestic historian as they spend a year on a farm in Britain, recreating the working and living conditions of Edwardian farmers. It’s charming! https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00w15jcLisa Frank. Iconic school supply designer of the 1980s whose work features cute animals and vivid colors. Definitely responsible for aspects of my current identity and aesthetic. https://lisafrank.com/Parts Work. We talk a lot in this episode about the “parts of us” that have different needs. There are a number of therapeutic approaches that use parts work as a tool for healing. “What Is Parts Work” – https://www.choosingtherapy.com/parts-work/Pie metaphors. This isn’t the first time I’ve gone down this road, lol. And I can’t resist sharing my favorite extended pie metaphor from the blog. “WTF Does It Mean to ‘Get Over’ Someone?” – https://settlingisbullshit.com/2023/02/11/wtf-does-it-mean-to-get-over-someone/Trauma. The most accessible book I’ve read about trauma (and one I would recommend to anyone) is “What Happened to You?” by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D. Perry – https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250223210/whathappenedtoyouRed Pandas. Seriously the best. “Adorable Red Panda Facts You Didn't Know” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24UIq3_pNHM