PODCAST · education
Settling Is Bullshit
by Cate Blouke
Sweary life advice about claiming your joy. Playful, tender-hearted, and trauma-informed. We'll talk about authenticity, vulnerability, self-compassion, self-care, sobriety, glitter... all the good shit that helps us show up for ourselves and each other just a little bit better every day. Make brave choices. Claim your joy!
Episodes
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61 | Being a Contribution
You know what fuels patriarchy and capitalism? The “what’s in it for me” mindset. You know what nourishes our souls and creates a sense of community, connection, and care (especially during difficult times)? Shifting into the mindset of being a contribution. Whether we call it being of service,...
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60 | Thriving with ADHD and Un-shaming Our Life Pivots with TT Hernandez
Living with ADHD in a neurotypical world is hard. It just is. But we don’t have to lose ourselves in shame and self-loathing when we can’t contort ourselves into the shapes society wants for us. In this conversation with TT Hernandez, artist and trauma-informed coach for creative minds, we share...
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59 | Getting Through the Messy Middle
Any time we’re making changes in our lives, any time we’re learning something new, any time the universe throws us a curve ball – there’s usually a big chunk of mess we have to wade through to get to the other side. This episode goes out to anyone who’s feeling stuck in that muck. Sometimes…
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58 | Consciously Choosing the Costs of Love
A reflection in the midst of heartache, this episode touches on what it means to be in relationship – with ourselves and with others (and with the pets that we have to eventually let go). There are costs to love – sometimes hidden, often overlooked, but almost always worth it. Your invitation…
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57 | Whatever It Is, Just Pick It Back Up (Again)
Whether it’s a New Year’s Resolution that’s already fallen to the wayside, a healthy habit you’ve been struggling to reintegrate, or a lovely little hobby that once brought you joy – today’s episode is your pep talk to just pick it back up. No guilt. No shame. No stories about wasted time. The...
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56 | Expectations Are the (Other) Thief of Joy
Unmet expectations are probably the leading cause of resentment in our lives – especially around the holidays! Just sayin’. But! Recognizing that we had (potentially unrealistic) expectations in the first place is a great step towards greater joy and freedom and being nice to each other. This...
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55 | Creativity and Movement Toward Healing with Somatic Therapist Amanda Melbostad
Creativity isn’t just for artists. It’s a way of engaging with the world that we all have access to, and which offers a playful and engaging pathway toward healing. It’s also a thing that we do with our bodies! That makes it an extra-helpful way to get out of our heads and move through whatever...
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54 | Navigating Dating and Rejection (Cultivating Resilience)
This episode goes out to anyone who is wandering the minefield of modern dating and needs a little pep talk about rejection. It’s a rallying cry to remember that relationships are all about fit, and that when something doesn’t work out, it’s easier to believe that, in the long term, this is for…
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53 | Opting Out of Hustle Culture with Matthew Smith, Founder of Wimp Decaf
It ain’t easy to step off the beaten path or to swim ashore from the river of what everyone else is doing. But consciously choosing to opt out of hustle culture and the grind of unrealistic expectations isn’t impossible! It’s hard, for sure. It’s also hella worth it. In this conversation with...
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52 | If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes
While it’s a pithy and seemingly obvious statement, the fact remains that: if nothing changes, nothing changes. In other words, if we want things to be different, we have to start doing things differently. This counts for dating, career change, healthy habits, sobriety - any time we want things…
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51 | Embodying Stewardship and Radical Presence with Karma Maymi of Clary Sage Herbarium
When was the last time you deeply felt your relationship to the world around you? To the land, to the plants, to the ways in which everything is interconnected? In this philosophical and exploratory conversation with Karma Maymi the steward of Clary Sage Herbarium in Portland, Oregon, we discuss...
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50 | The Insidious Grip of a Fixed Mindset
Fixed mindset expects instant results. It tells us that if we aren’t immediately good at something, it’s because we lack the talent or capacity. It tells us to give up without really trying. A fixed mindset feeds the inner gremlins of not good enough any time we make a mistake or things don’t…
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49 | Embracing Imperfection and the Nonlinear Path with Side-quester Carrie Andersen, PhD
For recovering perfectionists, type-A planners, and those of us who really just want to get an A at life, it can be extra hard to try new things. It can also be super hard when life throws us curve balls and those meticulous plans have to change. But it doesn’t have to be quite so bad! There are…
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48 | Honoring Our Limitations
Rather than treating our limitations as problems to be solved or burdens to be borne, what might shift if we treated them with respect and appreciation? Finding our limits means finding our boundaries, and we have the option to view them as useful tools for self-care and safety (instead of cages...
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47 | Reflecting on Fifteen Years of Continuous Sobriety
July 2nd, 2025 marked fifteen years of continuous sobriety for me. And since I wrote about it two years ago and then recorded an episode about it last year, it seems like marking my time on this platform has become a tradition. But I don’t feel good this week! (I’m kinda sick). So, I sat down and...
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46 | Cultivating Self-Acceptance through Parts Work with Celine Redfield, LMFT
If you struggle with a mean inner critic, then this episode is for you, buddy. Unfortunately, it won’t offer a magic solution or quick fix to ridding yourself of that inner voice, but it will help explain what the fuck is going on and offer a pathway to a life filled with greater self-acceptance,...
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45 | Unpacking Conflict by Understanding Our Values
If we don’t have clarity about what's most important to us, about the principles we try to live our lives by, it’s no wonder that we end up wandering around feeling a bit aimless. It’s also no wonder that we get into the same arguments over and over again. Values are at the root of most conflict,...
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44 | Nourishing Our Relationships with Active Constructive Responding
While it’s tremendously important for each of us to have support when things are rough, we also need support when things are awesome. And sometimes, it helps to have a model to follow! Active constructive responding (ACR) is a framework for how we can actively communicate encouragement and…
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43 | What Colors Can Tell Us About Who We Are with Aura Photographer Selena Bekakis
Do you gravitate toward certain colors in your life? Do you find yourself looking at the world through rose colored glasses (either literally or figuratively)? Well, it turns out that we’re all in relationship to the world of color, whether we’ve got a picture of our aura or not. In this…
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42 | Healing Trauma through Expressive Writing with Author and Neuroscientist Dr. Stacey Hettes, PhD
No matter how much we cognitively “know” about how trauma works, none of us are immune from the grip it can have on our capacity to deal with life. Thankfully, there are ways out, and writing is one of them. Dr. Stacey Hettes knows this firsthand. In spite of her PhD in neuroscience and decades…
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41 | If You're Freaking Out Right Now (Press Play)
Consider this your “In Case of Emergency” episode, my dear. It’s ready for you the next time you’re in an anxiety spiral, a weepy meltdown, or any other overwhelming set of feelings that you might call a freak out. If you can’t (or don’t want to) call somebody, you can press play and listen to me...
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40 | Leaning Into What You're Already Good At with Strengths Coach Lee Peterson
How often are you getting to do the things that you are already good at? Do you wake up each day knowing that you’re going to get to show up in the world in the ways that you naturally shine? If not, then it’s time to change that, darlin. In this conversation with strengths coach Lee Peterson, we...
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39 | Rest *And Play* Are Requirements, Not Rewards
We all know that sleep is good for us, but it turns out that play is super good for us, too! Both are vital for healthy brain functioning – though, obviously, sleep is most important in that category. But we need both rest and play in order to live vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful lives. And we…
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38 | Saying "Yes, And" to Life
We usually don't like to look at it this way, but the truth is that we’re all just making things up as we go along. Life isn’t scripted. And embracing the improv comedy concept of “yes, and” can help us move through the world with greater flexibility, less self-criticism, and an increased…
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37 | If You're Feeling Like a F*ck Up...
Here is my spontaneous love note to anyone struggling with self-doubt, self-criticism, or the shitty fucking stories that like to get their grips on us. In particular, this is for my NeuroSpicy folks, my friends in recovery, and anyone who just feels like it's impossible to fit into the box of…
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36 | What Mercury Retrograde Means (for You) with Astrologer Fi Russell
It’s that time again – Mercury is going retrograde and things are going to get wacky. But if you want to have a better sense of what that actually means and how it might impact your life in particular, we are here for you! In this conversation with astrologer and energy worker Fi Russell, they…
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35 | Cultivating Joy Amidst the Sh*t Show
The world is bananas right now. A lot of us are angry, afraid, and struggling to stay out of the pit of despair. And that makes sense! It’s totally understandable. AND… my offering to you in this episode is the idea that centering ourselves in joy is what will fuel our ability to keep showing up....
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34 | Reflective Practices and Living Intentionally with Dr. John Miles, PhD
Why do we do the things we do? And, more importantly, why do we keep doing them? Taking the time to reflect – to slow down, look back, and ask ourselves whether the path we’ve been on is the one we want to stay on – helps us be the person we want to be. In this conversation with Dr. John Miles, a...
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33 | Practical Mysticism and Trusting the Divine with Spiritual Counselor Julie Day
What would it be like to live in a world filled with unconditional love? A world where we fully trusted in ourselves, where we felt utterly supported in showing up for the lessons the universe has laid out for us? It’s aspirational, for sure. But maybe it’s not quite so out of reach as we often...
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32 | Showing Up For Each Other
Especially in the midst of chaos, grief, and what very much seems like the apocalypse, what there is to do is show up for each other – in whatever ways we can. The trick, of course, is in recognizing our own capacities and only offering what we actually have to give. Which may not be a lot right...
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31 | Exploring Spirituality through the Body with Movement Teacher Linnea Solvieg
Spirituality, presence, mindfulness, enlightenment… whatever you want to call it, we don’t just get there through thinking about it all the time. Or even through not thinking about it, if we’re trying the meditation route. Instead, connecting with our sense of being in the world (joyful or...
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30 | Normalizing the Struggle
Are you on the struggle bus, my friend? If so, you are not alone – even if it super duper feels like it a lot of the time. And, as much as it sucks, the struggle is just a normal part of being human. What there is to do is persist and remember to connect when you can. This episode isn't here to...
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29 | Intuition & The Reclamation of Feminine Wisdom with Depth Coach Andrea Leda
What if your intuition could be your secret weapon for changing the world? Seriously! What would shift if you thought about listening to your inner wisdom as a downright revolutionary act on both the personal and collective stage? In this lovely conversation with depth coach Andrea Leda, we…
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28 | Intentions Are Better Than Goals (Especially for the New Year)
It's a new year, same you, my love! Except not the same. Because SOMETHING has changed since the last new year. And this little hybrid episode is a pep-talk for setting an intention for who you want to be in 2025 rather than getting lost in the details of all the goals you want to accomplish....
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27 | What It Means to Prioritize Ourselves
To prioritize something means to treat it as more important than other things, which means only one thing gets to be a priority at a time. So it’s kind of no wonder that the idea of putting ourselves first, of prioritizing ourselves, can feel like a really big ask. However! You, my darling, are a...
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26 | A Clown's Take on Gender (Euphoria) with Theatre Maker Ania Upstill
Living in human bodies in contemporary society means all of us have to engage with gender in some capacity. Woman, man, trans person, non-binary, gender-free… moving through the world means navigating and/or disrupting societal gender norms. And how cool would it be if we could all walk around...
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Blog - Taking No for an Answer
In the spirit of the holiday season and last week's episode on boundaries and self-care, I figured it might be good for all of us to revisit one of my older blog posts about saying (and accepting) no. I want to live in a culture that supports healthy boundaries. And healthy boundaries entail...
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25 | Bringing Boundaries and Self-Compassion to the Holidays with Jenny Tryansky
Setting boundaries and practicing self-care are hard things to do – especially during the holiday season. But finding a clear sense of our actual capacity and remembering to check in with our body’s needs are important skills the whole year round. In this great conversation with personal...
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24 | In Praise of Gentle Consistency
Especially during chaotic times, gentleness is the way forward. Today's episode is a pep talk for all of us trying to make changes in our lives. It offers us the reminder that we can get where we want to go through showing up as best we can without beating ourselves up for falling short of our…
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Choosing Love & Connection Over Fear & Despair
A short love note to those of us who are grieving after the election. Here's our reminder that we're not alone and that we can choose to lean into each other instead of letting the spin out consume us. "Moving from Fear to Love" –…
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23 | Becoming Cheerleaders for Each Other
Especially when times are tough (and the world feels full of doom and gloom), we need cheerleaders in our lives – people who will believe in us when we can't believe in ourselves. And when we can't believe in big, cool shit for ourselves, it can be easier to believe in it for others. So! Let's…
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22 | Embracing Everyday Magic with Tarot Reader & Witch Julie Miller
Whether we call it magic, prayer, intention, or simply mindfulness, there is power in how we show up in our lives. It’s often just a matter of how much we’re actually paying attention. In this delightful and seasonally appropriate conversation with tarot reader and witch Julie Miller, we talk…
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21 | Befriending Your Nervous System Part 2 with Body Wisdom Coach Marjorie Schreurs
How do our bodies store trauma and what does that even mean? Why does getting triggered hijack our capacity to think straight? And what the heck can we do to heal from our past and nurture a well-regulated nervous system so we’re not freaking out all the time?! Well, listen in my love! In the...
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20 | Befriending Your Nervous System (Part 1): Understanding Activation with Body Wisdom Coach Marjorie Schreurs
How well do you hear the signals your body is sending, my love? Most of us either don’t hear so well or too often choose not to listen... and the consequences can look like burnout, meltdowns, freak outs, and tantrums, or chronic fatigue, self-criticism, and general cranky-pants-ness. So! Got a...
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19 | The Difference between Settling and Acceptance
When life is doing shit that we don’t like, acceptance is the jumping off point, y’all. Settling is the crash landing. Or maybe it’s the getting stuck on a sandbar landing. Settling is definitely muddy and gross, and I do not wish it upon any of you beautiful souls! Acceptance, on the other hand,...
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18 | How Trauma Disrupts Our Capacity for Joy with Dr. Stephanie Goldsmith, PhD
We all have trauma, y’all. It just might not be Trauma with a capital T. Instead, many/most of us are just wandering around on this journey of life getting hijacked by our little-t trauma responses without even knowing it! That’s why I brought in a globally-renowned trauma expert to talk to us...
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17 | A Pep Talk for Patience!
Season two is finally here! And getting it launched took longer than I had hoped/anticipated, which ended up being juicy fodder for an evergreen topic: PATIENCE! We all need it. We all have a hard time with it. And we can now all come back to this episode when we're struggling around it. This is…
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Blog - If You Can’t Love Yourself, How Can You Trust That Others Do?
Self-love is an inside job. And this is your pep-talk for recognizing and appreciating your own awesomeness. It's there! I promise! The trick is just to start looking for the good in ourselves instead of focusing on what we don't have or what we're bad at – none of that shit really matters!...
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Blog - What If *Everything* Counted?
What would shift if we all gave ourselves a bit more credit (or brownie points or gold stars) for all the things we do? Whether it's a single squat or one minute of meditation or one sentence of writing, how much might we accomplish if even the little shit counted (as better than nothing)? Read…
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Blog - Escaping the Mire of Faux Feelings
Wondering WTF a faux feeling is? While you might not be familiar with the term, it's pretty likely you'll know what we're talking about: "feeling" unappreciated, manipulated, judged, ignored... it's a long list of not-actual-feelings that we can get trapped in when we're trying to navigate…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Sweary life advice about claiming your joy. Playful, tender-hearted, and trauma-informed. We'll talk about authenticity, vulnerability, self-compassion, self-care, sobriety, glitter... all the good shit that helps us show up for ourselves and each other just a little bit better every day.
Make brave choices.
Claim your joy!
HOSTED BY
Cate Blouke
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Settling Is Bullshit have?
Settling Is Bullshit currently has 85 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Settling Is Bullshit about?
Sweary life advice about claiming your joy. Playful, tender-hearted, and trauma-informed. We'll talk about authenticity, vulnerability, self-compassion, self-care, sobriety, glitter... all the good shit that helps us show up for ourselves and each other just a little bit better every day. Make...
How often does Settling Is Bullshit release new episodes?
Settling Is Bullshit has 85 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Settling Is Bullshit?
You can listen to Settling Is Bullshit on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Settling Is Bullshit?
Settling Is Bullshit is created and hosted by Cate Blouke.
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