059: Seeing Families Clearly: Understanding Neurodiversity in Family Law with Meggin Rutherford

In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista welcomes Meggin Rutherford, a Colorado attorney, mediator, and parenting coordinator whose professional work and personal experience give her a unique perspective on neurodiversity in family law. As an attorney with autism and ADHD, Meggin shares how understanding neurodivergent families can transform the way attorneys, judges, and parents approach custody, parenting plans, and co-parenting relationships. Drawing from her own journey as well as her work with families navigating autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent experiences, Meggin explains how the legal system’s “one-size-fits-all” model often fails these families. She emphasizes the need for individualized parenting plans, reduced transitions for children, and clear decision-making structures that account for each child’s unique neurobiological wiring. Krista and Meggin discuss the difference between neurodiversity (the natural variation in how brains function) and mental health disorders, and why those distinctions matter when building parenting plans and advocating for children’s needs. They also explore how professionals can better support neurodivergent families through education, collaboration, and flexible approaches that prioritize each child’s comfort and security. Meggin offers powerful analogies, such as comparing neurodiverse brains to Linux operating systems, to help listeners grasp how neurodivergent children experience the world. She also highlights how unrecognized neurodiversity in parents can influence family dynamics and decision-making during divorce. Her message is both practical and hopeful: when parents and professionals understand these differences, they can create plans that allow every child to thrive. This conversation invites attorneys, mental health professionals, and parents alike to see families more clearly and to understand that labels, when embraced, can be empowering tools for support and belonging. In this episode, you will hear: The difference between neurodiversity and mental health disorders Why neurodivergent families need customized parenting plans and reduced transitions How shared decision-making can create challenges for families with neurodivergent children The importance of professionals recognizing and accommodating neurodiverse parents and kids Resources from this Episode mrutherfordlaw.com/meggin Resources for Families and Professionals Autism: Autism: A New Understanding – Verywell Magazine Special Edition Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant, PhD A Different Kind of Normal by Abigail Balfe Strengths-Based Guide to Supporting Autistic Children by Claire O’Neill ADHD: How to ADHD by Jessica McCabe (book and YouTube) The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene ADHD 2.0 by Dr. Edward Hallowell and Dr. John Ratey www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.