Children First Family Law - Transforming how families navigate the challenging landscape of divorce.

Krista Nash welcomes back Dr. Karey O'Hara for this episode, following up on research first introduced on an earlier visit to the podcast. Parents going through separation or divorce are often told that conflict is bad for their kids, but Karey, a psychologist and researcher at Arizona State University, explains why that message misses the point. Karey and her team spent years studying children ages nine to twelve living through high conflict divorce, testing which coping strategies actually help and whether combining several works better than relying on one alone. The results surprised even the research team. One simple strategy, relaxation, outperformed the rest. Karey walks through what happens in a child's body during parental conflict, what parents should avoid doing in those moments, and how a free program from her lab lets families put the findings into practice right away. It's a hopeful, practical conversation for any parent trying to protect their kids amid conflict they can't control. In this episode, you will hear: Why the "conflict is bad for kids" message actually sets parents up to fail What Dr. Karey O'Hara's research found about kids coping with high conflict divorce The one strategy that outperformed every other coping tool tested What actually happens in a child's brain and body during parental conflict Simple moves parents can make in the moment to help kids reset How destructive conflict differs from conflict kids can learn from A free program families can start using today, straight from the research Resources from this Episode Sign up to take/use the resources discussed on the podcast:  www.asuyfacslab.org/brainteam https://search.asu.edu/profile/3192762 www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming, but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review,” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know we sent you.

Krista Nash sits down with Colorado attorney Lisa Shellenberger, managing partner at Setter Roche Smith & Shellenberger, to talk through a corner of family law most parents never see coming until they're standing in it. When a parent dies, disappears into addiction, or simply can't provide safe care, the person left holding things together is rarely equipped for what comes next. Krista and Lisa unpack the real difference between guardianship and custody, why probate court can move faster than domestic court, and what happens when a parent gets back on their feet and wants their child returned. They also cover the constitutional rights every parent holds and how families can put protections in place before a crisis forces their hand. It's a conversation built for anyone quietly raising a child who isn't legally theirs yet. In this episode, you will hear: Why guardianship and custody solve two completely different legal problems for kids The 182 day rule that determines who has standing to file for custody as a non-parent How probate court can move faster than family court in a genuine crisis What it actually takes to prove a parent is unable or unwilling to safely parent The constitutional rights every parent holds, even in a guardianship case What happens to a guardian's authority the moment a parent gets better Practical steps families can take now, before a crisis forces their hand Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming, but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review,” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know we sent you.

Maintaining a child’s attachment to a parent with substance abuse issues can be a complex path to navigate. With advice from experts and keeping the child’s best interests first and foremost, parents and courts can successfully co-parent and maintain a healthy parent-child relationship. This episode of Children First Family Law is part two of Krista’s two-part series on navigating substance misuse issues alongside co-parenting in a divorce situation. While citing the research and expertise of  Dr. Stephanie Tabashnecke, Krista highlights the vulnerability of children in a family law case when a parent is struggling with substance abuse. She shares the underlying causes of this disorder and why understanding it can help both parents cope while keeping the child’s best interests at the forefront of their co-parenting conversations. You’ll hear why relapse is an expected part of struggling with this disorder, the top ten myths surrounding substance abuse, and how disrupting a child’s attachment to a caregiver can impact their lifelong health. Krista explains how to set up a treatment plan that continues communication with the child, the importance of using a trauma-informed approach, and her top ten tips for judges and attorneys handling cases involving parents with substance abuse issues. Understanding the science at play behind a substance abuse disorder can help guide parents to a solution that benefits parents and child and ensures the child’s needs are met throughout the process. Don’t miss this deep dive into the science and expertise to guide you through the complexities of a substance abuse disorder. In this episode, you will hear: Leading current thoughts on the nuances of dealing with sobriety issues of parents in family law cases, considering strongly safety of children while balancing attachment needs of children Input from leading experts such as Dr. Stephanie Tabashneck, leading Harvard psychologist and lawyer, who provides background insight to help family court professionals and parents navigate this challenging area  The vulnerability of children in a substance abuse situation and the lines of protection the court and attorneys may invoke Understanding the underlying factors that can trigger a substance abuse disorder and the consensus in the medical and scientific communities to treat them as chronic conditions Relapse is part of a substance abuse disorder, and improper treatment, stress, and unmanaged co-occurring conditions can increase relapse risk Finding strategies to meet the attachment needs of children and avoiding overreaction to relapse The 10 myths surrounding substance abuse and the factors that increase a predisposition to addiction Seeking a dopamine “hit” and the impact substances can have on the dopamine baseline Role of genetics in substance abuse Attachment in children and the impact messaging can have on that attachment, especially as it relates to substance abuse Creating treatment plans that work for families logistically and financially and the components of a good treatment plan The Optimal Parenting Time Decision Tree criteria used by professionals to evaluate optimal parenting time Assessments, testing for alcohol and drug use, and questions to consider Having a plan in place in the event of a relapse with specificity and creating a parent plan for this scenario The impact on child attachment when completely removing a caregiver from their lives and mitigating this issue Using a trauma-informed approach for the parent experiencing substance abuse The top 10 tips for judges and attorneys in cases involving parents with substance abuse Resources from this Episode Children First Family Law: www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com American Society of Addiction Medicine: www.asam.org Center for Disease Control and Prevention: www.cdc.gov Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University: www.developingchild.harvard.edu Guidelines for Court Practices for Supervised Visitation: www.mass.gov/files/documents/2018/11/29/supervised-visitation-guidelinesfinal%20%281%29.pdf National Association for Children of Addiction: www.nacoa.org National Institute on Drug Abuse: www.drugabuse.gov National Institute of Mental Health: www.nimh.nih.gov Ruth Potee, M.D.: www.ruthpotee.com Smart Recovery: www.smartrecovery.org Standards for Supervised Visitation Practice: www.svnworldwide.org/attachments/standards.pdf Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration: www.samhsa.gov Substance use and parenting: Best practices for family court practitioners: www.afccnet.org/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=-RkXrNzIkr8%3d&portalid=0 Tabashneck, S., Drozd, L. & Soilson, J. (in press), Substance Use Disorders: A Primer for Family Dispute Resolution Practitioners, book chapter: The Family Dispute Resolution Handbook. (editors: P. Salem, & K. Brown-Olson) https://global.oup.com/academic/product/family-dispute-resolution-9780197545904?cc=us&lang=en& This Naked Mind: thisnakedmind.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Substance abuse is often used as a weapon in family court, even when there isn’t a significant problem. Courts have several ways of handling this issue, and each method can have long-term implications. In this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista explores how family courts determine whether a parent is safe with a child. She outlines her experiences with families dealing with these scenarios, implementing advice and expertise from psychologist and attorney Dr. Stephanie Tabashneck. Two previous podcast episodes, with guests Cheryl and Mike, explore both parenting sides of this situation. Krista offers an outline of the tools the court can use to evaluate a substance abuse issue and any additional risk factors. You’ll also hear the 10 factors the DSM-5 defines substance abuse. Together, these tools help attorneys and courts form parenting time recommendations. Substance abuse in a divorce scenario can be complicated. This episode is a guide for navigating substance abuse while keeping children’s best interests at the forefront. In this episode, you will hear: Substance abuse—primarily alcohol—is a chronic issue in family court, requiring assessments of handling approaches, their implications, and parental safety. Krista’s experiences working with families in these situations and the expert advice she receives from attorney and psychologist Dr. Stephanie Tabashneck The tools used by courts when a child’s safety is an immediate concern Why courts are sometimes hesitant to restrict legal substance use entirely  Direct testing methods like Soberlink or BACtrack, urine analysis, hair follicle, and nail testing Substance Use Evaluation (SUE) involves an in-depth assessment conducted by a highly qualified professional with a strong background in addiction counseling, psychology, social work, or a related field. Psychological testing in conjunction with a Substance Use Evaluation A sample of questions you can expect from a Substance Use Evaluator (SUE) and the background information included Substance Abuse Subtle Screening Inventory (SASSI) evaluations and its insight into a person’s potential proclivity for substance abuse DSM-5’s definition of substance abuse and substance abuse disorders and the required criteria The 10 factors used to diagnose a substance abuse disorder according to the DSM-5 Dimensions to evaluate for level of care decisions and what to look for in the evaluator’s report Recommendations following a Substance Use Evaluation (SUE) based on the results and when these evaluations are needed Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com Soberlink Remote Alcohol Monitoring | Improving Lives BACtrack | The Leader in Breathalyzers Home www.NAADAC.org Adult SASSI-4 | The SASSI Institute Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test (AUDIT) Michigan Alcohol Screening Test (MAST) 5280 Drug Testing - 5280 Drug Testing, Greenwood Village, CO Drug Testing - Precise Monitoring ASAM - American Society of Addiction Medicine SAMHSA - Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM5). American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – Fifth Edition (DSM-5) defines a Substance Use Disorder based on using the criteria below. If, in the previous 12 months, an individual was identified as meeting 2-3 of the criteria they would have a mild disorder; meeting 4-5 criteria would equal a moderate disorder; and meeting 6 or more criteria would indicate a severe disorder. If the individual had previously met the criteria for a Substance Use Disorder, and none of the criteria have been met in the last three months, but less than 12 months, the diagnosis would be considered “In Early Remission.” If the individual had previously met the criteria for a Substance Use Disorder, and none of the criteria have been met in the previous 12 months, the diagnosis would be considered “In Sustained Remission." Substance is often taken in larger amounts over longer time period than was intended Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use Great deal of time spent in activities necessary to obtain, use, or recover from its effects Craving, or a strong desire or urge to use the substance Recurrent use resulting in failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home  Continued use despite persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of the substance use Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced Recurrent use in physically hazardous situations    Continued use despite knowledge of having a persistent recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by substance use  Tolerance as defined by:                       A need for markedly increased amounts to achieve intoxication or desired effect A markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of substance Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following: The characteristic withdrawal syndrome for the substance   The substance, or a closely related substance is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of the Children First Family Law Podcast, Krista sits down with the Honorable Judge Robert Lung to explore the nuances of family law. With decades of experience as a district court judge in Colorado, Judge Lung offers invaluable perspectives on how parents can work together to shape their children's futures. This episode emphasizes parental cooperation in making decisions about their children's lives rather than relying on a judge who lacks personal insight into their circumstances. Judge Lung discusses critical issues such as human trafficking, childhood trauma, and resilience. Drawing from his extensive work with various professionals, including military, medical, and law enforcement communities, Judge Lung underscores his commitment to these pressing topics through his roles on significant councils addressing human trafficking. You’ll hear Judge Lung recount his path from law school in Ohio to his current position in Colorado. Krista and Judge Lung highlight the influence of mentors and personal stories, reflecting on how focusing on children's well-being in family law cases can lead to better outcomes. They also emphasize the empowerment of parents to reach agreements during divorce proceedings, placing the best interests of their children at the forefront. The episode delves into the intricacies of co-parenting, parental rights, and the effects of trauma on child advocacy. Central themes include conversations about parenting time, challenges for non-offending parents, and the role of judicial input in enhancing the family court system. Judge Lung reiterates maintaining a nurturing environment for families, stressing mentorship, open communication, and continuous improvement efforts by the Colorado Judicial Branch. Join us as we navigate these critical issues with Judge Robert Lung and discover ways to foster a nurturing environment for families facing family law challenges. In this episode, you will hear: The importance of parental cooperation in family law to avoid judicial decisions by strangers Judge Robert Lung's career journey and experiences in Colorado's family court system Trauma awareness, human trafficking, and child advocacy Empowerment of parents to reach agreements in divorce proceedings Challenges of co-parenting, parental rights, and maintaining a supportive environment for children Continuous improvement in Colorado's family courts Anecdotes highlighting informed decision-making and the pitfalls of unnecessary litigation Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

A parent taking a child on vacation is one thing. Crossing international borders without the other parent's agreement is something else entirely. We explore where that line is drawn, why parental kidnapping is often misunderstood, and how the Hague Convention handles custody disputes that span multiple countries. Family law attorney Devon Rood Slovensky explains when parents are free to travel with their children, when legal restrictions begin, and why many situations people fear are "kidnapping" do not meet that standard. We also examine the Hague Convention through the high-profile Saeed Abedini case, where a young child was taken from Turkey to the United States, leading to a complex international legal fight. Devon shares how courts determine a child's habitual residence, why acting quickly matters, and how delays can affect the outcome of a case. Along the way, we discuss the role of federal courts, the challenges families face when different countries are involved, and the legal principles that guide judges through these difficult disputes.  Whether you're a parent, attorney, or simply curious about international custody law, you'll gain a clearer understanding of how these cases are handled and why they can become so complicated.  In this episode, you will hear: What parental kidnapping legally means and common misconceptions When parents can travel with children during custody disputes How the Hague Convention handles international child custody cases The role of habitual residence in cross-border custody decisions Lessons from the Saeed Abedini international child abduction case Why acting quickly can affect the outcome of a Hague Convention case How federal courts address international custody disputes compared to state courts Resources from this Episode https://slovenskylaw.com/  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saeed_Abedini  https://www.hcch.net/en/instruments/conventions/specialised-sections/child-abduction  https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/abductions/legain-info-for-parents/why-the-hague-convention-matters.html www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming, but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review,” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know we sent you.

In this conversation, Krista sits down with special education attorney and expert witness LaTanya Moore, author of IEPs Made Easy: A Parent’s Guide to Special Education Advocacy. We unpack how education decisions during and after divorce can profoundly shape a child’s future. Krista and LaTanya explain why IEPs (Individualized Education Programs) and 504 plans are not just “school paperwork,” but critical tools that can either support or undermine a child’s ability to learn and thrive — especially when parents are in conflict. They clarify the legal framework behind IDEA and Section 504, what each plan actually does, and how to tell when a child needs more than simple classroom accommodations. Listeners will learn practical questions every parent and family lawyer should ask about a child’s educational needs, why early intervention matters, and how to reframe “labels” as access to support — not a life sentence. Above all, Krista and LaTanya urge parents and professionals to treat education planning as neutral ground, where the child’s needs come first, even when everything else feels adversarial. In this episode, you will hear: Best interests of the child when special needs intersect with custody and parenting plans What IEPs and 504 plans are and how they differ in protections and services How inconsistent home routines, medication use, and parental denial impact school functioning When a 504 plan is not enough and an IEP with measurable goals is needed The role of family lawyers in spotting educational issues and asking the right questions Early intervention, proper diagnosis, and COVID-era developmental delays Reframing “labels” and using school-based supports as neutral ground for co-parents Resources from this Episode https://www.theieplawyers.com/  Book: IEPs Made Easy: https://www.amazon.com/IEPs-Made-Easy-Step-Step-ebook/dp/B0DKJMCG32/ref=sr_1_4?crid=LRSOVSNMETZN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.xKwOjYo0bPNMOzG_hA72AI3XWfSNo947YVHEIQPNY_0Aj18Qtpayink8xAo07ITrTj4l7O92GHnlfk8AEToj6jvifcSG4U_2hQKtmUfWm2Xp2XwpV66rVfpeLNYEnsrcJO1tyIof3fTy30atBv5zMRfDiQRAK9hXNpMROhRanQcKVFhej5D0Kh3NWqG9PhtZMwBCMERAbJq4B58I48tNVh2gW1yp1yPSrnCkVzmy2HU.F_4X6qXnP3nS3xI6dIkhSP7loRo2QyylEXoavJr9FZ0&dib_tag=se&keywords=IEPs+made+easy&qid=1784825135&sprefix=ieps+made+easy%2Caps%2C212&sr=8-4  www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming, but is not providing legal advice through this podcast. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review,” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second, and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista breaks down the leading reasons parents lose custody or experience restrictions on parenting time in Colorado. Drawing on her work as a child advocate and family law attorney, Krista explains how judges evaluate safety, stability, mental health, and co-parenting behaviors when deciding on parental responsibilities. She also reminds listeners that “losing custody” in Colorado rarely means a permanent loss of parental rights. Instead, it typically reflects temporary limits tied to a child’s best interests. Krista walks through the three most common categories that lead courts to restrict parenting time—safety concerns, parental unfitness or instability, and damaging co-parenting behavior. She illustrates each category with case patterns she has seen repeatedly in child advocacy work, including emotional abuse, unmanaged mental health issues, and behavior that undermines the child’s relationship with the other parent. She emphasizes that Colorado courts prioritize the child’s emotional and physical safety above all else, and that parents who take proactive steps, such as treatment, stable routines, and appropriate communication, can protect or rebuild their parenting time. For parents, professionals, and supporters, this episode serves as a clear and practical guide to navigating Colorado custody cases while centering children’s well-being. In this episode, you will hear: Safety issues that lead judges to restrict parenting time Behaviors that courts view as instability or parental unfitness Patterns of harmful co-parenting that damage custody outcomes Practical steps parents can take to protect and rebuild time with their children Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista welcomes Nil Buckley, a licensed professional counselor, licensed addiction counselor, and domestic violence clinical supervisor whose expertise bridges trauma-informed mental health, forensic evaluation, and family law. Nil is the founder of Vivas Counseling and Care Forensic Solutions and creator of The CARE Method, an evidence-based program now used in multiple states to support both survivors and offenders. Her background includes extensive work with the Colorado Department of Corrections, court-ordered treatment programs, and expert testimony in criminal and domestic relations cases. Drawing from this deep professional experience, Nil joins Krista to explore how coercive control and its related forms, including legal abuse, financial manipulation, and psychological coercion, show up in custody cases and family court. She explains that there are now 24 recognized forms of abuse in the global research literature, yet many family law professionals still focus only on physical harm. Nil’s work seeks to change that by educating judges, attorneys, and mental health providers about the full spectrum of domestic violence and its impact on children. The discussion also examines Colorado’s evolving domestic violence laws, such as Kayden’s Law, which aim to protect families better but can be challenging to implement consistently in court. Nil and Krista address the tension between holding offenders accountable and ensuring survivors aren’t further harmed by systems meant to safeguard them. They share real-world examples of how trauma, reactive behaviors, and legal complexity intersect in divorce and custody disputes and what professionals can do to create safer, more balanced outcomes. This conversation launches a continuing series on domestic violence and coercive control, setting the stage for future episodes with Nil that will dive even deeper into the realities of abuse, accountability, and healing in family law. In this episode, you will hear: Expanding definitions of abuse beyond physical violence How coercive control and legal abuse appear in custody disputes Why trauma-informed evaluations matter in family law cases The complexities of applying Kayden’s Law and related legislation How professionals can balance accountability with survivor protection The importance of continued education across courts and legal systems Resources from this Episode safersociety.org/nil-buckley-ma-lpc-lac-dvcs-ncc-acs www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

When families separate, deciding who keeps the dog can feel just as emotional as any other part of the breakup. In this episode, we explore why pet disputes become so charged and how to make decisions that truly prioritize both kids and animals. We walk through why it’s crucial not to treat pets like children in divorce, how their needs differ, and what happens when those lines get blurred. Karis explains how breed, personality, age, health, and history all factor into whether a dog can realistically move between homes, and why shared pet parenting often creates more stress than comfort for the animal. We also talk about cats, “roommate” animals, bonded pairs, and why territory matters so much. Parents, professionals, and pet lovers will learn practical ways to evaluate what’s actually best for the dog, how to structure trial arrangements, and how to balance children’s attachment with responsible, long-term planning for their four-legged family members. In this episode, you will hear: Emotional stakes of pet custody when families separate   Why pets should not be treated like children in divorce decisions   Warning signs that a pet is stressed by moving between homes   Structuring trial custody arrangements and contingency plans for pets   Balancing children’s attachment to pets with the animal’s best interests   Resources from this Episode https://www.whokeepsthedog.com/ Link to the book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Who-Keeps-Dog-Navigating-Custody/dp/1617812927/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1FZ5RBAJ965HI&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.LmWDiJYDbIW6rqEj5igpcg.QFgZQNsCn-YRAPD3Adzv_AT00lqniZlIsbCHr3IUy2s&dib_tag=se&keywords=book+who+keeps+the+dog+karis+nafte&qid=1728661858&sprefix=book+who+keeps+the+dog+karis+nafte%2Caps%2C370&sr=8-1 www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming, but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review,” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know we sent you.

Join Krista on the Children First Family Law Podcast to explore the compelling story of Cheryl Palmar, a best-selling author in the United States and Australia who transformed her life despite the turmoil of a troubled marriage. In this episode, Cheryl shares her journey from heartache to empowerment, revealing the emotional and legal battles she encountered while navigating a marriage with a highly functioning alcoholic partner. Along the way, however, she found that with careful planning and evidence collection, she was able to accomplish and amicable divorce with a full settlement despite the potential that her case could have ended up as yet another story of toxic litigation. Cheryl's candid narrative offers insight into the complex process of securing a future for herself and her daughter. She discusses the importance of gathering evidence, seeking legal guidance, and the strategic steps she took to ensure their safety. Her experience highlights the necessity of having a strong support system and the courage required to initiate change. Beyond the legal aspects, Cheryl offers insights on healing and co-parenting. Her reflections on therapy and personal growth provide hope to others facing similar challenges. Cheryl’s book, "Erased: Exiting a Toxic Relationship," serves as a guiding light for those feeling trapped in toxic relationships, inspiring a path towards a healthier and more empowered future, and highlights ways to get the protections you need and want for your children even in ugly, risky situations through a careful approach to preparing for and executing your case. In this episode, you will hear: Cheryl Palmar's journey from a marriage with a functioning alcoholic to empowerment and healing. Emotional struggles and legal strategies in protecting her daughter and navigating divorce. Insights into gathering evidence, privacy concerns, and the importance of legal advice in substance abuse situations. Revelations about the balance of collecting evidence and the ability to approach a case peacefully and without extensive litigation – all through the power of incontrovertible facts, not allegations. The role of co-parenting, focusing on unity and the well-being of their child despite past conflicts. Discussion on the importance of therapy and personal growth after divorce. Cheryl's experience with sobriety testing agreements to ensure her daughter's safety during parenting time and decision making. Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com "Erased: Exiting a Toxic Relationship" by Cheryl Palmar available online on Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble Amazon: https://a.co/d/dnrbUMY Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/erased-cheryl-palmar/1144672044?ean=9781923123199 All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Childhood is being reshaped by screens, and co-parents are often on the front lines of that change. In this episode, we sit down with Kris Perry, Executive Director of Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development, to unpack what the research really shows about kids, tech, and two-home families. We explore how smartphones, social media, gaming, and even emerging AI companions affect children’s brain development, mental health, and capacity for real-world connection. Kris explains how conflicting technology rules between households can heighten conflict, confuse kids, and undermine healthy boundaries — and how co-parents can realign around child-centered guidelines. Listeners learn why struggle, experimentation, and face-to-face interaction are irreplaceable for healthy development, and why relying on devices or chatbots as “easy” solutions can quietly erode those experiences. The conversation offers research-backed, practical takeaways to help parents, co-parents, and family law professionals create consistent tech expectations that truly prioritize children’s long-term well-being. In this episode, you will hear: Biggest misconceptions parents have about kids and technology   Age and stage differences in screen use and brain development   Screen time vs. “what’s happening online” and why both matter   AI chatbots, digital companions, and the risks of kids anthropomorphizing machines   Dopamine, addiction-like patterns, and the impact on attention, mood, and joy   Resources from this Episode https://mailchi.mp/7391d300e044/children-and-screens-names-cali-gov-senior-advisor-as-first-executive-director  www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know we sent you.

What if the way adults handle conflict during divorce could actually reshape a child’s developing brain? In this conversation, we talk with renowned psychologist and AFCC Distinguished Service Award recipient, Mindy Mitnick, about what toxic stress really is — and why every divorcing parent needs to understand it. Drawing on nearly five decades working with family courts, parenting time and decision making disputes, high-conflict separations, and complex parent–child dynamics, Mindy explains the crucial differences between positive, negative, acute, chronic, and toxic stress. She breaks down how ongoing conflict, fear, and instability can interfere with the development of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for impulse control, judgment, and problem-solving. Krista and Mindy also look closely at everyday moments that quietly shape a child’s inner world: how (and whether) parents talk to kids about divorce, what happens when one parent is subtly undermined, and how children end up emotionally caring for a distressed parent. Most importantly, listeners learn valuable ways to buffer children from harm. By the end, we understand not only what toxic stress does to children, but also how intentional choices by adults can protect kids’ emotional and neurological health, even in very hard seasons of family restructuring. In this episode, you will hear: The difference between positive, negative, acute, chronic, and toxic stress in children How toxic stress can affect a child’s brain development and long-term behavior Why “we never fight” divorces can still be deeply confusing and painful for kids Practical ways parents and professionals can build resilience around children How to talk about the other parent without causing hidden harm Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know we sent you.

Join us for an insightful discussion with Dr. Kathleen McNamara, a seasoned psychologist with nearly 40 years of experience, as she shares her expertise at the intersection of family law and psychology. In this episode of Children First Family Law, we delve into the intricacies of child-parent relationships, emphasizing the need to separate relationship issues from parenting logistics. Dr. McNamara's extensive career, spanning academia, clinical practice, and policy-making, enriches our exploration of child-centered strategies that place children's needs at the forefront in legal contexts. We examine the impact of recent legislative changes and the complexities surrounding terms like alienation and gaslighting. Dr. McNamara advocates for moving beyond labels to focus on specific behaviors and their effects on family dynamics. The episode also highlights Kayden's Law and the evolving role of best-interests attorneys – called Child Legal Representatives in Colorado – discussing the balance between safeguarding children and honoring parental rights. Throughout the conversation, we address the challenges of high-conflict divorces, stressing the importance of a stable parenting schedule and the guidance of experienced therapists. By encouraging communication, conflict resolution, and emotional resilience, we aim to assist families in transitioning from disputes to effective co-parenting. Our discussion, filled with expert advice and personal experiences, aims to inspire listeners to adopt child-focused approaches in the complex realm of family law. In this episode, you will hear: Exploring the intersection of family law and psychology with Dr. Kathleen McNamara Child-centered strategies and their importance in family dynamics The impact of recent legislative changes, such as Kayden's Law, on family law Challenges and strategies for managing high-conflict divorces and parenting schedules The role of language and behavior-focused approaches in understanding family dynamics The importance of emotional resilience, communication, and conflict resolution in co-parenting Insights into child advocacy, family rights, and the evolving role of best-interests attorneys – called child legal representatives in Colorado Resources from this Episode Dr. Kathleen McNamara’s website: kathleenmcnamaraphd.com www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In today’s episode of Children First Family Law™, Krista explores one of the most high-conflict areas in Colorado family law: relocation after divorce or custody orders. When one parent wants to relocate, whether within or outside the state, courts must decide what serves the child’s best interest, not the parent’s Krista walks through how Colorado handles relocation under C.R.S. §14-10-129, explains the difference between a parent's right to move and the right to move with a child, and addresses a common fear: Is it kidnapping to move without permission? She illustrates these issues with real-world case studies, one in which a parent left without notice, and another in which a parent followed every step legally. This solo episode covers the legal process, emotional impact, court standards, and how to keep children at the center of difficult relocation decisions. It’s a must-listen for any parent facing—or fearing—a move. In this episode, you will hear: Relocation means any move that significantly disrupts an existing parenting plan, not just moves across state lines Parents retain the right to relocate, but not the automatic right to move a child with them Colorado requires written notice, a proposed new parenting plan, and court approval under C.R.S. §14-10-129 Unauthorized relocation can result in contempt charges or emergency return orders, even without criminal charges Courts assess each relocation under the best interests of the child per C.R.S. §14-10-124 Long-distance parenting creates added costs and challenges—judges often assign travel costs to the relocating parent under C.R.S. §14-10-115(11) Emotional losses for children include missing friends, schools, and a parent’s daily presence Real case examples show why courts value transparency, cooperation, and early communication Key case law includes Spahmer v. Gullette, Ciesluk v. Ciesluk, In re Marriage of Martin, and DeZalia v. DeZalia   Resources from this Episode Relocation statute: C.R.S. 14-10-129: codes.findlaw.com/co/title-14-domestic-matters/co-rev-st-sect-14-10-129 Best interests of the child: C.R.S. 14-10-124: codes.findlaw.com/co/title-14-domestic-matters/co-rev-st-sect-14-10-124 Payment issues: C.R.S. 14-10-115(11), scroll way down to find (11): codes.findlaw.com/co/title-14-domestic-matters/co-rev-st-sect-14-10-115 Key Colorado caselaw around relocation: In re Marriage of Ciesluk: law.justia.com/cases/colorado/supreme-court/2005/04sc555-0.html Spahmer v. Gullette: law.justia.com/cases/colorado/supreme-court/2005/03sc751-0.html In re Marriage of Martin: callidusai.com/wp/ai/cases/2639358/in-re-the-marriage-of-martin In re Marriage of DeZalia: callidusai.com/wp/ai/cases/2638291/marriage-of-dezalia-v-dezalia www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Most divorcing parents assume their only options are to fight it out in court or somehow manage a settlement on the courthouse steps. What if the entire premise is wrong? In this episode of the Children First Family Law™ Podcast, Krista Nash sits down with Forrest "Woody" Mosten, a California-based family law attorney, mediator, and author of Family Lawyer as Peacemaker, who hasn't set foot in a courtroom in over 30 years and has built a thriving practice doing exactly that. Forrest brings decades of hard-won experience working exclusively in mediation and cooperative law, including serving as counsel in the largest collaborative divorce case in history. He shares why litigation tends to extend emotional recovery, how early resolution protects both children and family finances, and what parents should actually look for when choosing a lawyer. Families navigating divorce deserve to know that the war metaphor is optional. In this episode, you will hear: Why litigation extends the time it takes families to recover their psychological and emotional baseline after divorce The real cost of adversarial divorce, including how two competing expert witnesses can cost four to five times more than one neutral How Forrest "Woody" Mosten built a court-free practice that outearned his litigation years and why the financial case for peacemaking is strong What the Roy Disney collaborative divorce revealed about protecting children's wellbeing even in high-asset, high-complexity cases The difference between early and late resolution strategies, and why most traditional family lawyers default to the wrong one Practical steps for families entering divorce, including how to find peacemaker attorneys and why bringing in a neutral mediator from the start changes outcomes Why the lawyer the other party chooses shapes everything, and how to respond when the opposing side lawyers up aggressively Resources from this Episode https://mostenmediationtraining.com/forrest-woody-mosten/ https://www.amazon.com/s?k=family+lawyer+as+peacemaker&crid=30L9A8CG4DIPX&sprefix=family+lawyer+as+peacemake%2Caps%2C233&ref=nb_sb_noss https://www.amazon.com/Collaborative-Divorce-Handbook-Helping-Families/dp/0470395192/ref=sr_1_3?crid=12RB7BN9AS2XG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.pouW277LrhaFj9dO7I1voFK_Mg6rnLeWPZUZVVKSdXAC9HGmaCK6Iv5PJ-9SMWwxopCfLyjoN2bRm24zRW4BHSNex0_yvuK4UO378zkOCNv8ns-AOb73nX0vcxzpFlE38XHtDa5eIUJPrv289yrvYmEW1eJECrd06RGlmLFFRRE.leikNCc6i4rlChlQiQsh6W1ZRxEzZzgm2rWd5DRdQDo&dib_tag=se&keywords=forrest+mosten&qid=1777610223&sprefix=forrest+mosten%2Caps%2C219&sr=8-3 www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Alcohol use in custody cases rarely announces itself. In this episode of the Children First Family Law™ Podcast, Krista Nash sits down with Mike Fonesca, national sales manager at Soberlink, to talk about one of the most practical and reliable tools available to family courts today: real-time alcohol monitoring. Mike breaks down how Soberlink works, why testing frequency matters more than most parents and attorneys realize, and how the device's facial recognition and tamper-detection technology make it far harder to game than cheaper alternatives. He also covers pricing, the financial assistance program, and how authenticated records hold up in court. The real thread running through this conversation is trust. Used correctly, real-time monitoring gives families a credible path forward, one built on documented accountability rather than accusation. In this episode, you will hear: How Soberlink works, from the breath device and facial recognition to real-time compliance reports Why testing frequency matters and what "two tests a day" fails to prove in a custody case The three risk categories courts use to determine monitoring requirements How tamper-detection technology exposes falsified breath samples and identity fraud The difference between Soberlink's FDA-cleared device and cheaper consumer-grade alternatives Pricing, rental options, and the financial assistance program for qualifying families Why real-time monitoring builds trust between co-parents rather than simply catching violations Resources from this Episode https://www.soberlink.com/ www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Artificial intelligence is showing up in divorce cases at every stage, and most parents have no idea how to use it well or where it can quietly steer them wrong. In this episode, Krista Nash sits down with Jamie Lima, a former Morgan Stanley and Fidelity executive turned certified divorce financial analyst and founder of SecureSplit, who brings a rare combination of high-level financial expertise and firsthand experience with a difficult personal divorce. Jamie breaks down exactly how AI can serve as a research tool and co-pilot through the financial complexities of divorce, and where it becomes a liability. He and Krista also get into how parents can use AI to draft better co-parenting communications and build more thoughtful parenting plans. The tools exist. This episode is about learning to use them wisely. In this episode, you will hear: How AI is already reshaping divorce, from financial analysis to parenting plan drafts Why prompt quality determines whether AI helps or misleads, and how to write better ones The real risks of AI hallucinations in legal and financial contexts How parents can use AI to soften co-parenting communications before sending them What certified divorce financial analysts do that attorneys and AI cannot SecureSplit, a new platform built to give both professionals and consumers better financial tools for divorce How protecting children from conflict starts with the financial decisions parents make early Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com https://allegiantds.com/team/jamie-lima/ https://securesplit.com/ All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

For most divorcing parents, the handoff between homes is treated as a scheduling detail. Dr. Michael Saini, professor at the University of Toronto and one of the leading researchers in high-conflict family dynamics, has spent years studying what actually happens to children during those moments, and the findings are hard to ignore. Krista Nash welcomes Dr. Saini back to the Children First Family Law Podcast for a conversation about his latest research, which examined 20 years of court cases to understand how judges, attorneys, and families are handling what he calls "changeovers," and where they're falling short. Dr. Saini's research reveals that for many children, the transition between homes ranks among the most stressful parts of the entire separation experience, yet courts rarely address it in any meaningful detail. This episode offers a clear-eyed look at what children actually need before, during, and after each changeover, and why it deserves far more attention than it gets. In this episode, you will hear: Why the moment children move between homes is often the most stressful part of the divorce experience What 20 years of court cases reveal about how rarely judges address changeover planning in any meaningful detail The hidden emotional labor children carry before, during, and after every transition between homes How camera surveillance and litigation-driven behavior at exchanges affects children's long-term sense of safety and trust What children actually need in the 30 minutes before a changeover and the adjustment period after arriving at the next home Why school exchanges, police stations, and McDonald's parking lots fall short as default changeover locations How children's voices are largely left out of changeover planning, and what changes when they're finally asked   Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this solo episode of the Children First Family Law® podcast, Krista explores one of the most essential tools for helping children thrive after separation or divorce—a thoughtful, child-centered parenting plan. Drawing from years of experience as a family law attorney, mediator, and parenting coordinator, Krista explains how clarity, predictability, and flexibility can create emotional safety for children during family transitions. She breaks down how to design developmentally appropriate parenting schedules from infancy through adolescence and explains why focusing on stability rather than strict equality best supports a child’s well-being. Krista also covers shared decision-making, communication strategies, managing holidays and vacations, handling new relationships, and addressing common pitfalls like technology use and “right of first refusal” clauses. Throughout the episode, she emphasizes that clarity is love, predictability is safety, and structure is one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children. Krista closes the episode by previewing her upcoming 16-week Co-Parent Coaching Program, designed to help parents create peaceful, structured, and emotionally healthy co-parenting lives. This October episode is a roadmap for parents seeking to build a stable and cooperative foundation for their children, even amid the challenges of family restructuring. In this episode, you will hear: The core philosophy behind a peaceful, child-centered parenting plan How to structure parenting schedules for different age groups Ways to handle decision-making responsibilities without conflict Communication strategies that foster cooperation and reduce tension How to address holidays, vacations, and new relationships thoughtfully The importance of predictability, emotional safety, and flexibility Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Some of the most difficult family law cases aren't just high conflict — they're entrenched. In this episode of the Children First Family Law® Podcast, Krista Nash sits down with Dr. Marlene Bizub, a Colorado psychologist specializing in complex family systems therapy, to examine the cases that most therapists won't take and why that reluctance carries real consequences for children. Dr. Bizub brings years of experience working with families where parent-child estrangement has reached a critical level. She breaks down what this work actually requires: why every family member must be involved, why recovery is measured in months or years rather than sessions, and how labels like "alienation" and "narcissist" often cloud the picture rather than clarify it. This is a conversation every parent, attorney, and mental health professional in the family law space needs to hear. In this episode, you will hear: The difference between intentional parental alienation and protective behavior that sends the same message Why complex family systems therapy requires every family member's participation, not just the estranged parent and child How labeling a co-parent a narcissist or alienator often distorts the therapeutic process before it begins Why this work takes months or years, and what parents who expect a quick fix are missing The dangers of siloed individual therapy in high-conflict cases and what a systems-based approach does differently Why therapists avoid court involvement, and the real cost that reluctance creates for children How reunification cases can end in genuine recovery, even when parents arrive certain there's no way forward Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista guides you through the intricacies of divorce using a child-centered approach. Krista shares her top ten considerations for those contemplating divorce, emphasizing the children's best interests. She highlights the importance of identifying subtle forms of abuse, such as coercive control, and discusses the potential for reconciliation in non-abusive relationships. She also underscores the value of seeking expert guidance and the value of contemplating legal separation as a potentially better first step as an alternative to divorce. Krista addresses the challenges of co-parenting and financial management post-divorce. She explains how the legal system prioritizes the child's best interests in parenting time and decision-making, discussing the impact of shared parenting responsibilities and common conflicts. She delves into income imputation complexities in child support and spousal maintenance cases and explores changes in parenting dynamics when parents previously less involved in primary care seek more active roles. She further examines the impact of divorce on relationships and future planning, considering the complexities of forming new relationships and relocation challenges. Krista highlights the importance of assembling a reliable team of professionals and explores different approaches to handling divorce, such as hiring attorneys, negotiating amicable agreements directly, and mediating.   This episode is a must-listen for a comprehensive guide to navigating divorce with the children's best interests in mind. In this episode, you will hear: Importance of a child-centered approach when considering divorce, emphasizing hiring professionals who prioritize children's needs Identifying and addressing various forms of abuse, such as coercive control, and exploring legal separation as an alternative to divorce Navigating co-parenting and financial management challenges post-divorce, especially for primary caregivers adjusting to shared parenting time and decision-making Understanding the complexities of income imputation in child support and spousal maintenance and the dynamics of previously uninvolved parents seeking active roles Impact of divorce on broader relationships, including friends, family, and new relationships, along with the challenges of potential relocations Building a support team of legal and emotional resources to guide through the divorce process Emphasizing the well-being of children in family law and discussing best-interest attorney roles and future series on domestic violence Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Allen Levy, master's level psychologist and shared parenting educator, returns to the Children First Family Law Podcast for a conversation that goes well beyond the courtroom. Krista picks up where their last episode left off — exploring what it really takes for co-parents to function as professional colleagues, even when the relationship that brought them together has ended. Al introduces his Affirmative Arts framework: a practical philosophy built around affirmative communication, emotional self-management, and the discipline of focusing on what you will do rather than what you can't, won't, or don't. The conversation covers dangerous words that quietly ignite conflict — including "should have," "why," and even "best interest" — and how small shifts in language can change everything. Al also shares details on his upcoming shared parenting curriculum, designed to give parents, attorneys, and mental health professionals a concrete, affordable tool for doing the job of co-parenting right. In this episode, you will hear: The "job share" model of co-parenting and what it requires post-separation Al's Affirmative Arts framework: a practical philosophy for communication and agency Dangerous words that trigger conflict, including "should have," "why," "try," and "best interest" The difference between output and outcome, and why focusing on what you control matters Assertive communication as a boundary tool — stating what you will do, not what they should do How the shared parenting curriculum helps attorneys manage high-conflict clients and build stronger cases Al's upcoming online course — self-paced and affordable for parents, attorneys, and mental health professionals Resources from this Episode Online course by Al Levy: https://defusedivorce.com/programs?program=1746038048335x737946041885731300 Affirmative Arts -- https://affirmativearts.com/ www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of the Children First Family Law Podcast, Krista Nash continues her conversation with Dr. Ben Garber, exploring how structure — in all its forms — serves as a foundation for children's emotional health during and after divorce. From consistent bedtimes to bulletproof parenting plans, Dr. Garber makes the case that structure isn't about control — it's about reducing anxiety and helping children feel safe in an uncertain world. Dr. Garber draws on more than 40 years of experience to address parents, co-parents, and family law professionals alike, using the framework of Russian nesting dolls to show how structure operates at every level of a family system. He also tackles the guilt-driven impulse to relax the rules during divorce — and why that instinct, however well-meaning, often backfires. In this episode, you will hear: Why structure reduces anxiety in children during and after divorce The guilt trap — and why relaxing rules during divorce often backfires How cooperative co-parents can operate with more flexibility, and why high-conflict parents need more rigid, court-imposed structure The "nesting doll" framework — how structure applies at every level, from individual self-care to the courtroom Self-care as structure — and why burned-out parents ultimately harm their kids What family law professionals and judges can do to build better outcomes through intentional structure Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Structure might not sound like the most exciting topic in family law, but it might be one of the most important. In this first part of a two-part conversation, Dr. Ben Garber, internationally recognized psychologist, prolific author, and one of the leading voices in child-centered family law, breaks down how clear boundaries, defined roles, consistent routines, and limits with associated consequences work together to reduce anxiety for children and parents navigating separation and divorce. The more conflict exists between co-parents, the more essential structure becomes to keep kids truly out of the middle. Dr. Garber also draws on compelling research from medicine, dentistry, and public health to explain why advance orientation — knowing what to expect before entering any process — leads to better, faster, and more equitable outcomes for families in the court system. This is a conversation that has the potential to shift everything about how you approach parenting after separation. In this episode, you will hear: The four "flavors" of structure and how each one reduces anxiety for children and parents Why high-conflict co-parenting demands clearer boundaries than cooperative co-parenting The difference between punishment and consequences, and why positive reinforcement wins How research from medicine and public health proves advance orientation improves outcomes Why informed consent alone isn't enough — families deserve a true roadmap into the legal process The critical distinction between advance orientation and unethical coaching in family law How reducing parental anxiety leads to faster settlements, lower costs, and a more equitable court system Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com Mending Fences: A Collaborative, Cognitive-Behavioral Reunification Protocol Serving the Best Interests of the Post-Divorce, Polarized Child: https://a.co/d/hfKNEl3 Holding Tight-Letting Go: Raising Healthy Kids in AnxiousTimes: https://a.co/d/5XXmYBs The Family Law Professional's Field Guide to High-Conflict Litigation: Dynamics, Not Diagnoses: https://a.co/d/elmm71x Keeping Kids Out of the Middle: Child-Centered Parenting in the Midst of Conflict, Separation, and Divorce: https://a.co/d/4OBxU6m The Healthy Parent's ABC's: Healthy Parenting Made Clear and Easy-to-Read: https://a.co/d/hMKHhXP Taming the Beast Within: Managing Anger in Ourselves and Our Children Through Divorce (Healthy Parenting): https://a.co/d/j6irF4D The Roadmap to the Parenting Plan Worksheet: Putting Parenting Priorities in the Context of Research, Theory and Case Law: https://a.co/d/fbYB6PG Caught in the Middle: A Letter to My Divorced Parents (Healthy Parenting, 2): https://a.co/d/3g3p2pv Developmental Psychology for Family Law Professionals: Theory, Application and the Best Interests of the Child: https://a.co/d/6vzqPgS Twisted Allies: https://a.co/d/2DKVTbg Coupon Code for his Defuse Divorce program for April and May 2026: DEFUSEme2026 All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Parents often want their children’s voices to be heard during the divorce process. However, how that happens can vary greatly depending on the family’s situation. On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista explains the “best interests” standard in Colorado and what families can expect regarding their child’s voice being heard in court. She outlines the nine factors Colorado uses to determine parenting time allocation, including considerations of factors used in allocating decision-making in a no-fault divorce state. Krista shares specific situations, such as alcohol or drug abuse or domestic violence, that can elevate a child’s voice in these scenarios, the ideal scenario for parenting time versus what often occurs, and ways a therapist can be utilized in a divorce case. She defines the roles of Child and Family Investigators (CFIs) and Parental Responsibilities Evaluators (PREs), as well as the drawbacks of involving either of them in a case. Finally, Krista explains how you can benefit from a child’s best interests attorney (Child’s Legal Representative or “CLR”) to attempt to curate solutions alongside parents and professionals involved in your case while representing the best interests of the child as an attorney advocate who obtains and considers the child’s wishes Divorce can be messy and traumatic for everyone involved. Keeping your child’s best interests at the forefront and hiring qualified professionals can make the process smoother, making it more manageable for everyone. In this episode, you will hear: The use of the “best interests” standard in Colorado Ensuring a child’s voice is heard in the court while avoiding an adversarial approach to the other parent Colorado’s implementation of nine factors to determine parenting time allocation, including: Parents’ wishes Child’s wishes The relationship between the child and parents, siblings, and any other person who significantly affects the child's best interests The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community The mental and physical health of everyone involved The parties’ ability to encourage the sharing of love, affection, and contact between the child and the other parent Whether the parties’ past involvement shows a system of values, time commitment, and mutual support How far apart the parties live The ability of each party to place the needs of the child ahead of their own needs How no-fault divorce impacts considerations of parenting time and decision-making Alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and domestic violence, and Colorado’s statute that indicates a child’s voice should have strong consideration in these situations The ideal scenario for parenting time versus what often occurs A movement in Colorado toward children over 12 years old to become more actively involved in court proceedings and hearings in the dependency and neglect courts but not so much in domestic/divorce courts Ways a therapist can be used in court proceedings Bringing in witnesses to testify to what’s best for the child The role of Child and Family Investigators (CFIs) in Colorado, their requirements, their cost, and how they can impact the parenting dynamic The role of Parental Responsibilities Evaluators (PREs), who can do everything a CFI can, plus do deeper analysis including psychological testing of parents The downsides of bringing in CFIs and PREs The benefits of a child's best interest attorney or Child Legal Representative (CLR), who they represent, the requirements they must meet, what they can and cannot do, and what they cost A CLR’s ability to curate the right people to work with the parties involved in the case When you should pursue a child advocate and why you shouldn’t wait too long Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this moving episode of the Children First Family Law Podcast, Krista welcomes acclaimed documentary filmmaker Ellen Bruno, the creator behind the powerful films “Split: The Early Years” and “Split Up: The Teen Years.” These documentaries feature a cast of real children who had experienced divorce of their parents, with purely their voices and artwork, no experts, no therapists, no adults – just the kids. Split featured the kids when young; Split Up then followed up with the same kids 10 years later, reflecting on how divorce had impacted them as they emerged into late teens and young adulthood. The films give incredibly powerful insight every parent going through family law dynamics should watch, as well as any professional in the family law arena. The film is raw, honest, and deeply impactful.  In her conversation with Krista, Ellen shares the personal journey that inspired her to create Split, which began after her own divorce when she heard her own child and others in carpools from school discussing issues of divorce and the lightbulb that went off in her head that she could use her filmmaking to give voice to the voiceless and shine a light on the impact of divorce on children  She had already spent much of her career in humanitarian work and international filmmaking attempting to give voice to many different people groups, with films focusing on issues at the forefront of human rights.  Ellen began her relief efforts in remote Mayan villages in Tabasco, Mexico. She worked in refugee camps on the Thai-Cambodian border with the International Rescue Committee, in Vietnamese boat camps with The Refugee Section of the American Embassy in Thailand, and as director of the Cambodian Women's Project for the American Friends Service Committee. With a masters degree in documentary film from Stanford University, she is a recipient of Guggenheim and Rockefeller Fellowships, a Goldie Award for Outstanding Artist, an Alpert Award for the Arts,an Anonymous Was A Woman Award for the Arts, a Shenkin Fellowship from Yale University School of Art, and was an Artist-in- Residence at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, among many other accomplishments. Krista and Ellen explore recurring themes from both Split films, including identity shifts, the emotional cost of “two homes,” and the unspoken pressure children feel to take care of their parents. They also highlight how parents, legal professionals, and mental health practitioners can utilize the films to gain a deeper understanding of the child’s perspective—and why it matters so much. Ellen shares, too, the potential for another film following up yet again with these now-adult kids and/or their parents, a possibility Krista encourages. This conversation is a true gem for the podcast and a must-listen for divorcing parents, co-parents, attorneys, and anyone who works with families. It’s a powerful reminder that small choices can create lasting change and that truly listening to children can transform our approach to divorce. In this episode, you will hear: The emotional cost of silence and shame in divorce Why kids need space to share their experiences without adult interference The impact of small co-parenting gestures, like family photos or shared events How the Split films help parents and professionals re-center on children A reminder that divorce doesn’t end in six months—it’s a lifelong transition Resources from this Episode To purchase the “Split” films: https://www.splitfilm.org/family-purchase-options/ https://www.splitfilm.org/ Contact Ellen Bruno: [email protected] www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode, Krista speaks directly to parents who are lying awake at night asking the same question: Is this going to ruin my kids? Drawing from decades of experience as an attorney, mediator, parenting coordinator, and child advocate, Krista unpacks a hard truth—divorce itself does not automatically damage children, but chronic conflict and poor co-parenting absolutely can. She walks through ten practical, immediately usable strategies to lower tension and protect a child’s emotional safety. Krista shares real stories from her work with families, highlighting how tone, structure, exchanges, and emotional regulation shape a child’s long-term wellbeing. Divorce handled with maturity and intention can still raise secure, emotionally healthy children—and that choice starts with the adults. In this episode, you will hear: Why divorce itself does not automatically damage children but chronic conflict does Ten practical strategies to reduce co parenting tension and protect emotional safety Keeping children out of the middle and avoiding loyalty binds Managing tone, messaging, and post visit interrogations Creating structure and predictable routines to lower anxiety Handling exchanges calmly to reduce stress and emotional fallout Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Co-parents often find themselves at a stalemate with one parent distrustful of the other. Trust can be rebuilt, and returning guest Dr. Michael Saini has some tips on how to do it. On today’s episode of Children First Family Law, Krista welcomes back Dr. Saini, a Toronto-based renowned psychologist who has authored more than 200 publications, including book chapters, government reports, systematic reviews, and a vast number of peer-reviewed journal articles highlighting research in the area of family law and its impact on children. Dr. Saini is a passionate advocate for children’s rights. Krista and Dr. Saini begin their conversation by explaining the importance of establishing boundaries around trust and repairing trust violations in the context of a divorce situation. Dr. Saini outlines the research on trust as the number one dynamic for co-parenting success, emphasizing the importance of accepting who your co-parent is and building trust despite any disputes you may have with them. He shares why coming to terms with “good enough” parenting can be helpful, how the erosion of trust can lead to additional conflicts as co-parents, and why the conflict is worse for your kids than getting your way in the fight you’re having with your co-parent. You’ll hear Dr. Saini’s method of using mini goals to rebuild trust with your co-parent, the foundation childhood creates for trusting or distrusting in future relationships, the importance of exposing kids to new romantic partners carefully, and learning to become comfortable with your new roles post-divorce. Finally, Krista and Dr. Saini explain when trust-building models aren’t appropriate and how to figure out what each parent is willing to do to demonstrate their trustworthiness. Trust is a complex and significant topic in divorce, and Dr. Michael Saini’s tips can help you rebuild trust with your co-parent and foster a healthy relationship for your children, thereby breaking intergenerational conflict tendencies. In this episode, you will hear: Building boundaries around trust and repairing trust violations Research about trust being the number one dynamic for co-parenting success Dr. Michael Saini’s take on viewing trust as a bank account with a positive or negative balance based on experiences The importance of coming to a place of acceptance of your co-parent, thinking beyond the dispute, and building trust “Good enough” parenting and not placing your standards on the other parent Why emotional processing is like an iceberg, because we only see a small portion of it How erosion of trust leads to additional conflict in co-parenting For your kids, the impact of the conflict is far more harmful than who 'wins' the argument. Anger and fear as secondary emotions to fear Using mini goals to rebuild trust Childhood is the foundation for trusting or distrusting future relationships When conflict is modeled poorly over generations,kids can repeat the same unhealthy patterns rather than learning how to resolve them Exposing kids to new romantic partners very carefully Boundary ambiguity post-divorce and becoming comfortable with new roles When the trust-building models are not appropriate, especially considering the dynamics of violence What each parent is willing to do to demonstrate trustworthiness Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com Dickie 2015 Trust and Conflict Resolution - http://childrenfirstfamilylaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Dickie-2015-Trust-and-Conflict-Resolution.pdf Saini 2025 Trust in AFCC CA Handouts2PP - http://childrenfirstfamilylaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Saini-2025-Trust-in-AFCC-CA-Handouts2PP.pdf All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of the Children First Family Law Podcast, Krista is joined by Bill Eddy, co-founder of the High Conflict Institute and author of BIFF for Co-Parent Communication. They dive into one of the biggest challenges in family law cases: how parents communicate during conflict. Whether tensions show up around parenting time and decision making, medical issues, school events, or simple schedule changes, the way we respond can either calm the situation—or inflame it. Bill walks through the BIFF method—Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm—and explains why managing your own communication is often the fastest way to reduce conflict. He also explores why some parents get stuck in anger and how that spills over onto children. If you want practical tools to protect your kids and bring more stability to co-parent communication, this conversation is for you. In this episode, you will hear: What BIFF means and why Brief Informative Friendly Firm responses reduce conflict How to respond to hostile emails without escalating parenting time and decision making disputes The 10-question checklist before hitting send Turning an inflammatory message into a focused BIFF response Why unmanaged anger and blame keep parents stuck in high conflict How one parent changing their communication can shift the dynamic Practical tools from the High Conflict Institute for calmer co-parent exchanges Resources from this Episode Websites: https://www.conflictinfluencer.com/co-parenting https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Many BIFF books: Coparent communication – https://www.amazon.com/BIFF-Co-Parent-Communication-Difficult-Conflict/dp/1950057100/ref=sr_1_3?crid=QKXMIO5UFGIN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d-iPiyrt8sAIpAtmKgrvqxqasiVMj2Y1668V1sdm9p9RIRwALrUb2WI2HrCFeWl5O0SYll50CInBtJt_tm0cXApce2CyUYZgQUiPhPZkUrFDg5Mzir9v0Ie5s_WMz5BMsMrWB4FhgxiDhZu41VDYx2MeMu7xYT41D6g-v8mii_S_fCS66goO4BGFK_ma2rUnd2gm4_f8xIoCe0V-3d4ytpaE4n1HxUyhqYssMM0DI1U.ZtNwku4cjDzPxx-yIYT8yi6THUImqBZ4qGOyVOCJ_7E&dib_tag=se&keywords=BIFF+books&qid=1770684270&sprefix=biff+boo%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-3 High conflict personality responses – https://www.amazon.com/BIFF-Responses-High-Conflict-Personal-Meltdowns/dp/1936268728/ref=sr_1_2?crid=QKXMIO5UFGIN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d-iPiyrt8sAIpAtmKgrvqxqasiVMj2Y1668V1sdm9p9RIRwALrUb2WI2HrCFeWl5O0SYll50CInBtJt_tm0cXApce2CyUYZgQUiPhPZkUrFDg5Mzir9v0Ie5s_WMz5BMsMrWB4FhgxiDhZu41VDYx2MeMu7xYT41D6g-v8mii_S_fCS66goO4BGFK_ma2rUnd2gm4_f8xIoCe0V-3d4ytpaE4n1HxUyhqYssMM0DI1U.ZtNwku4cjDzPxx-yIYT8yi6THUImqBZ4qGOyVOCJ_7E&dib_tag=se&keywords=BIFF+books&qid=1770684270&sprefix=biff+boo%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-2 Work – https://www.amazon.com/BIFF-Work-Difficult-Workplace-Communication/dp/1950057127/ref=sr_1_4?crid=QKXMIO5UFGIN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d-iPiyrt8sAIpAtmKgrvqxqasiVMj2Y1668V1sdm9p9RIRwALrUb2WI2HrCFeWl5O0SYll50CInBtJt_tm0cXApce2CyUYZgQUiPhPZkUrFDg5Mzir9v0Ie5s_WMz5BMsMrWB4FhgxiDhZu41VDYx2MeMu7xYT41D6g-v8mii_S_fCS66goO4BGFK_ma2rUnd2gm4_f8xIoCe0V-3d4ytpaE4n1HxUyhqYssMM0DI1U.ZtNwku4cjDzPxx-yIYT8yi6THUImqBZ4qGOyVOCJ_7E&dib_tag=se&keywords=BIFF+books&qid=1770684270&sprefix=biff+boo%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-4 Lawyers & Law Firms: https://www.amazon.com/BIFF-Lawyers-Law-Offices-Communication/dp/1950057399/ref=sr_1_6?crid=QKXMIO5UFGIN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d-iPiyrt8sAIpAtmKgrvqxqasiVMj2Y1668V1sdm9p9RIRwALrUb2WI2HrCFeWl5O0SYll50CInBtJt_tm0cXApce2CyUYZgQUiPhPZkUrFDg5Mzir9v0Ie5s_WMz5BMsMrWB4FhgxiDhZu41VDYx2MeMu7xYT41D6g-v8mii_S_fCS66goO4BGFK_ma2rUnd2gm4_f8xIoCe0V-3d4ytpaE4n1HxUyhqYssMM0DI1U.ZtNwku4cjDzPxx-yIYT8yi6THUImqBZ4qGOyVOCJ_7E&dib_tag=se&keywords=BIFF+books&qid=1770684270&sprefix=biff+boo%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-6 www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

It’s no secret that separations and divorces can be stressful, costly, and emotionally exhausting, and finding a solution that works for both parties involved and the children can feel impossible. On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista outlines the options available to those seeking a divorce or separation, particularly in Colorado. The choices individuals make in this situation have implications, and Krista shares the potential pitfalls and considerations of each one. These options include handling the separation or divorce without an attorney, hiring an attorney (or two–one for each party), coaching services, mediation, and arbitration. She explains each one’s advantages and disadvantages. Krista offers a unique final solution she developed called an Amicable Uncontested Divorce Solution, in which she works with both co-parents to create customized solutions for their particular scenario. Finally, Krista shares the importance of preserving the co-parenting dynamic to reduce trauma for the involved children. She reveals the 13 steps she uses to determine if a potential client is a good candidate for this solution. There is a path to a more peaceful separation of co-parents than attorneys on both sides ready for war. Krista’s Amicable Uncontested Divorce Solutions offer the answer you’ve been searching for. In this episode, you will hear: The implications of the choices the involved parties make during a divorce or legal separation Handling a separation or divorce in Colorado without an attorney and potential pitfalls and considerations Hiring an attorney to handle your case, what to be aware of as you research who to hire, and when you can use one attorney versus two The importance of prioritizing children during separation—and why many attorneys fail to do so Investing in a coaching service and key factors to consider when evaluating your options Krista’s tips for evaluating a mediator to handle a divorce or separation The pitfalls of mediation and how it can derail a case. Arbitration’s advantages and disadvantages as an option for handling a divorce or separation Amicable, Uncontested Divorce Solutions at Children First Family Law tailors benefits for both co-parents seeking customized resolutions. Minimizing trauma for children while preserving a healthy co-parenting dynamic. Krista’s 13-step approach to achieving an amicable, uncontested divorce.   Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this solo episode of the Children First Family Law podcast, Krista, a Colorado-based family law attorney and child advocate, breaks down her structured approach to serving as a Child’s Legal Representative (CLR) in high-conflict divorce and custody cases across the state. Krista shares her 11-step process for advocating on behalf of children during some of the most complex and emotionally charged family law matters. Drawing on her experience practicing throughout Denver, Boulder, Fort Collins, and Colorado Springs, she guides listeners through the process of how CLRs are appointed, their interactions with families, and how they contribute to shaping child-centered solutions both inside and outside the courtroom. From initial appointments and home visits to therapeutic collaboration and final court engagement, Krista explains how an active, negotiation-based model empowers children to have a voice while protecting their well-being. She also compares the CLR role to other evaluative processes used in Colorado family courts, including CFIs and PREs, highlighting the benefits of real-time engagement and ongoing problem-solving. For parents, attorneys, and professionals working in Colorado family law, this episode offers a clear and practical guide to what it means to truly represent the best interests of the child, with a process that’s informed, intentional, and deeply rooted in trauma-aware advocacy. In this episode, you will hear:   How courts appoint a Child’s Legal Representative (CLR) in Colorado Why earlier CLR involvement can lead to better outcomes for families A detailed look at Krista’s 11-step CLR process, from start to finish The value of active negotiation over passive observation in high-conflict parenting cases The difference between a CLR and roles like CFIs or parenting evaluators Strategies to support children’s voices in parenting time disputes How Colorado-specific forms (JDF 1319/1320) initiate the CLR appointment process   Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Hiring the right attorney in a divorce case involving children can make or break your case. If you hire the wrong one, they could be a big problem. In this replay episode of Children First Family Law, Krista offers the 10 dos and don’ts of hiring a divorce attorney. A good attorney should be a peacemaker, not a gladiator, which can foster the destruction of children’s well-being, parents, and individual parties. Toxicity generally isn’t necessary, even in potentially adversarial cases. Finding amicable solutions for children's best interests is at the heart of this episode. Using Krista’s tips for finding a good divorce attorney, you could avoid a litigious, expensive, and destructive road. In this episode, you will hear: The importance of hiring an attorney who is empathetic, warm, likable, and ethical Krista’s tips for testing the accessibility and responsiveness of an attorney and their team Ensuring your attorney will be clear and transparent about each step of the process as well as costs How hiring someone who simplifies the process can save you a lot of money Why humility is a valuable trait in an attorney Reputability and its importance in the law community and red flags to consider The value of an informed individual who is pursuing growth of knowledge and experience The calming effect of a peacemaker in your corner What a child-focused attorney can do for you versus one who isn’t Problem-solving and finding the best solution for all involved parties Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of Children First Family Law®️, Krista sits down with Liberty, a 21-year-old who grew up navigating her parents’ divorce in a way many families hope for but rarely see. Liberty shares what it felt like to be told about the divorce as a sixth grader, how her parents’ intentional co-parenting kept her out of the middle, and why clear structure and communication mattered more than she realized at the time. Liberty reflects on growing up in two homes without conflict, watching her parents show up together for milestones, and later welcoming stepparents and stepsiblings into her life. Her story offers a rare, honest look at how divorce can reshape a family without breaking it. This conversation is a powerful reminder that when adults truly put children first, kids can grow up feeling secure, supported, and hopeful. In this episode, you will hear: Being told about divorce together and why that moment mattered Growing up without being put in the middle of parental conflict How structure and predictable parenting schedules created stability Parents communicating directly instead of through their child Navigating new partners and blended families without pressure The difference between a “broken” home and a restructured one How healthy co-parenting shaped long-term trust and relationships   Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this solo episode of Children First Family Law®️, Krista shares 10 practical resolutions for divorced and separated parents to make the new year—or any time of year—supportive for their children. Recognizing that most parents genuinely want the best for their kids but often feel overwhelmed, hurt, or reactive, Krista emphasizes that children feel the effects of parental conflict even when no words are spoken. These resolutions are not about perfection. They are about intentional choices that prioritize children’s emotional well-being. Krista walks through each resolution, offering concrete examples and strategies that parents can realistically implement. From stopping negative talk about the co-parent to creating calmer transitions, supporting consistency across households, and practicing flexibility, each resolution is designed to empower parents to show up differently for their kids. She also stresses the importance of processing personal emotional pain, seeking support through therapy or co-parenting classes, and modeling accountability through apologies and repair when mistakes happen. By committing to even one resolution, parents can create meaningful ripple effects that positively shape their children’s experiences, emotional security, and development, proving that small, intentional actions often matter more than sweeping changes. In this episode, you will hear: Stop speaking negatively about your co-parent and model emotional regulation Keep children out of adult conflicts and communication loops Pause before responding to reduce reactive conflict Support your child’s relationship with the other parent Make transitions calmer and more predictable Prioritize your own emotional health and seek support if needed Aim for consistency in routines, school expectations, and household rules Apologize and repair when mistakes happen Practice flexibility and prioritize what serves your child best Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Divorce often pushes parents into survival mode. Legal strategy and emotional overwhelm take center stage, while children absorb the fallout quietly and deeply. In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista explores a powerful but often misunderstood resource that helps parents navigate divorce more intentionally: divorce coaching. Krista sits down with Tracy Callahan, co-founder of the Divorce Coaches Academy, certified divorce coach, and family mediator licensed in Florida and New York. Tracy brings decades of experience in alternative dispute resolution and a deeply child-centered lens shaped by both professional practice and personal parenting experience. Krista and Tracy unpack what divorce coaching actually is and, just as importantly, what it is not. The conversation reframes divorce coaching as a future-focused, action-oriented form of dispute resolution rather than therapy or advocacy warfare. Tracy explains how divorce coaching helps parents regulate emotions, understand conflict dynamics, and develop communication skills that reduce escalation and protect children from being caught in the middle. Rather than reliving the past, divorce coaching emphasizes intentional decision-making, personal accountability, and preparing parents to participate more effectively in mediation, settlement discussions, and co-parenting. Krista and Tracy also address common misconceptions, including the belief that divorce coaches exist to help parents “fight harder.” In reality, the work centers on minimizing emotional and financial damage, supporting conversations that matter, and helping parents shift from positional thinking to child-focused problem solving. They highlight how unmanaged conflict—not divorce itself—creates lasting harm for children, often with generational consequences. Tracy shares insight into how divorce coaching complements legal representation, saves time and money, and helps parents stop using attorneys and courts as emotional outlets. The episode offers clarity for parents, professionals, and anyone working in family law who wants better outcomes for children navigating two homes. In this episode, you will hear: Divorce coaching as a child-centered dispute resolution tool Clear distinctions between divorce coaching, therapy, and legal advocacy The impact of unresolved parental conflict on children Emotional regulation as a foundation for effective co-parenting Future-focused decision-making during divorce Support divorce coaching provides in mediation and legal processes Shifting away from win–lose thinking toward family stability Resources from this Episode www.divorcecoachesacademy.com www.mediating-matters.com www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

The holidays can bring joy, excitement, and meaningful traditions, but for separated and divorced families, they can also amplify stress, conflict, and emotional overload. In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista explores how parents can navigate holiday schedules, shifting expectations, new traditions, and blended-family dynamics in a way that truly protects children’s emotional well-being. Dr. Marlene Bizub draws on nearly three decades of working with court-involved families to unpack why the season feels so intense and what parents can do differently to create calmer, healthier holidays. Dr. Bizub and Krista talk through the issues that emerge every December, from split-day disasters to extended-family tensions, gift-giving challenges, travel disruptions, and the grief children often feel beneath the surface. Dr. Bizub offers practical strategies parents can act on right now, along with long-term guidance on flexibility, communication, and taking the high road. Whether you’re newly separated or years into co-parenting, this episode provides grounded, child-centered guidance for navigating the holidays more peacefully. Dr. Marlene Bizub, a longtime psychologist working with court-involved families, shares her expertise on creating healthy traditions, supporting children through grief, and setting realistic expectations during the holidays. She highlights what children genuinely need, how parents can avoid emotional pitfalls, and why kindness creates lasting goodwill. This episode reminds parents that even small changes in approach can transform the holidays for their children and for themselves. In this episode, you will hear: Emotional pressures that intensify holidays for co-parents The shift from rigid expectations to child-centered planning Why avoiding split-day celebrations smooths the season for kids Fresh ideas for building new, meaningful traditions Approaches that help blended families adjust at their own pace Thoughts on birthdays, gift-giving, and extended-family involvement Flexibility strategies for travel delays, illness, and disrupted plans How generosity and cooperation create long-term goodwill Nonverbal communication patterns that shape a child’s experience Ways parents can find support and care for themselves during the holidays Resources from this Episode www.amazon.com/Contentious-Custody-Really-Interest-Children/dp/1941870724 open.spotify.com/show/4LJ9Ey2LemBeXfkh4wNauv www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista breaks down the leading reasons parents lose custody or experience restrictions on parenting time in Colorado. Drawing on her work as a child advocate and family law attorney, Krista explains how judges evaluate safety, stability, mental health, and co-parenting behaviors when deciding on parental responsibilities. She also reminds listeners that “losing custody” in Colorado rarely means a permanent loss of parental rights. Instead, it typically reflects temporary limits tied to a child’s best interests. Krista walks through the three most common categories that lead courts to restrict parenting time—safety concerns, parental unfitness or instability, and damaging co-parenting behavior. She illustrates each category with case patterns she has seen repeatedly in child advocacy work, including emotional abuse, unmanaged mental health issues, and behavior that undermines the child’s relationship with the other parent. She emphasizes that Colorado courts prioritize the child’s emotional and physical safety above all else, and that parents who take proactive steps, such as treatment, stable routines, and appropriate communication, can protect or rebuild their parenting time. For parents, professionals, and supporters, this episode serves as a clear and practical guide to navigating Colorado custody cases while centering children’s well-being. In this episode, you will hear: Safety issues that lead judges to restrict parenting time Behaviors that courts view as instability or parental unfitness Patterns of harmful co-parenting that damage custody outcomes Practical steps parents can take to protect and rebuild time with their children Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of the Children First Family Law® podcast, Krista opens the first installment of a recurring series on divorce and money, an area she rarely tackles but one that powerfully shapes children’s lives. To launch the series, she welcomes Colorado-based mortgage and divorce finance expert Todd Huetner, known nationally as the “divorce CFO.” With more than two decades of experience in lending, divorce finance, and collaborative family law, Todd guides families and professionals through the financial realities of housing decisions during separation and divorce. Krista frames the conversation around a simple truth: housing stability profoundly influences children’s well-being. Whether parents keep the home, sell it, or relocate, financial planning directly affects where children sleep, how often they move, and whether parents can sustainably maintain two households. Todd explains that families often wait too long to explore housing options, which can limit choices, increase stress, and lead to preventable long-term consequences. Beginning early gives parents time to identify credit issues, gather documentation, understand real options, and reduce the fear that comes from not knowing what lies ahead. Todd breaks down five common types of income that affect the ability to assume or refinance a mortgage in divorce: earned income, retirement/investment income, court-ordered support, co-signers, and creative trust structures. He explains how temporary maintenance, even at a very low amount, can start critical qualification timelines. He also addresses widespread misconceptions, such as the belief that a loan cannot be assumed, taking advice from lenders who provide incomplete information, and assuming a disadvantaged spouse cannot qualify for a mortgage. Many families unknowingly leave life-changing opportunities on the table. Krista and Todd also discuss the real impact of relocation. When a parent cannot afford to remain in a community, the resulting move can disrupt children’s support systems, educational stability, and relationship with the other parent. Todd notes that short-term strategies, like staying in the home for a limited period, delaying a move, or restructuring assets creatively, can preserve options while reducing the likelihood of multiple relocations. In the second half of the conversation, Todd turns to professionals—attorneys, mediators, and mental health experts—who often unintentionally limit their clients’ options by relying on assumptions or failing to understand how mortgage underwriting works. He emphasizes the importance of early consultation, correct terminology, precise drafting in separation agreements, and asking the right questions rather than the most obvious ones. A small oversight can cost a family tens of thousands of dollars or eliminate the possibility of homeownership entirely. This episode gives parents and professionals a roadmap to approaching financial and housing decisions with clarity, creativity, and an eye toward children’s long-term stability. In this episode, you will hear: Early steps that expand housing options during divorce Types of income lenders can (and can’t) use during mortgage qualification Hidden pitfalls in assumptions, refinancing, and temporary maintenance How relocation pressures affect children when housing decisions go wrong Resources from this Episode www.thedivorcecfo.com denverdivorceprofessionals.com www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista continues the tech tools for coparents series with a deep dive into Our Family Wizard, one of the most established and widely adopted communication platforms in family law. She interviews Elle Barr, a former family law attorney, longtime guardian ad litem, and current Education Coordinator at Our Family Wizard, who brings more than two decades of child-focused legal experience to her work. Elle explains how the platform’s design grew out of real-world family law challenges and why its features matter for reducing conflict, creating clarity, and strengthening the co-parenting relationship. She walks through how tools like messaging, the shared calendar, expense tracking, the Information Bank, ToneMeter AI, journal entries, third-party accounts, and documented audio/video calls are intentionally built to improve communication and protect children from the stress of unmanaged conflict. Krista and Elle also discuss the importance of predictable documentation, the role professionals can play through their own linked accounts, and how transparent tools often prevent unnecessary litigation. Elle breaks down subscription tiers, fee waivers for families who qualify, and how Our Family Wizard supports parents navigating high-conflict situations, domestic violence restrictions, supervised contact, dependency matters, and everyday scheduling needs. Whether listeners are parents, practitioners, or professionals supporting families in transition, this episode highlights how thoughtful technology can give structure, support, and accountability during and after separation. Elle’s child-centered experience and practical guidance offer a clear look at what effective co-parenting tools can accomplish when used consistently. In this episode, you will hear: Tools inside Our Family Wizard that support clearer communication and documentation How ToneMeter AI guides parents toward calmer, more respectful messaging Ways the shared calendar, expense tracking, and Information Bank create reliability Why documented calls and transcripts help in cases involving safety concerns Resources from this Episode www.ourfamilywizard.com www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista welcomes Meggin Rutherford, a Colorado attorney, mediator, and parenting coordinator whose professional work and personal experience give her a unique perspective on neurodiversity in family law. As an attorney with autism and ADHD, Meggin shares how understanding neurodivergent families can transform the way attorneys, judges, and parents approach custody, parenting plans, and co-parenting relationships. Drawing from her own journey as well as her work with families navigating autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent experiences, Meggin explains how the legal system’s “one-size-fits-all” model often fails these families. She emphasizes the need for individualized parenting plans, reduced transitions for children, and clear decision-making structures that account for each child’s unique neurobiological wiring. Krista and Meggin discuss the difference between neurodiversity (the natural variation in how brains function) and mental health disorders, and why those distinctions matter when building parenting plans and advocating for children’s needs. They also explore how professionals can better support neurodivergent families through education, collaboration, and flexible approaches that prioritize each child’s comfort and security. Meggin offers powerful analogies, such as comparing neurodiverse brains to Linux operating systems, to help listeners grasp how neurodivergent children experience the world. She also highlights how unrecognized neurodiversity in parents can influence family dynamics and decision-making during divorce. Her message is both practical and hopeful: when parents and professionals understand these differences, they can create plans that allow every child to thrive. This conversation invites attorneys, mental health professionals, and parents alike to see families more clearly and to understand that labels, when embraced, can be empowering tools for support and belonging. In this episode, you will hear: The difference between neurodiversity and mental health disorders Why neurodivergent families need customized parenting plans and reduced transitions How shared decision-making can create challenges for families with neurodivergent children The importance of professionals recognizing and accommodating neurodiverse parents and kids Resources from this Episode mrutherfordlaw.com/meggin Resources for Families and Professionals Autism: Autism: A New Understanding – Verywell Magazine Special Edition Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant, PhD A Different Kind of Normal by Abigail Balfe Strengths-Based Guide to Supporting Autistic Children by Claire O’Neill ADHD: How to ADHD by Jessica McCabe (book and YouTube) The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene ADHD 2.0 by Dr. Edward Hallowell and Dr. John Ratey www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista welcomes Nil Buckley, a licensed professional counselor, licensed addiction counselor, and domestic violence clinical supervisor whose expertise bridges trauma-informed mental health, forensic evaluation, and family law. Nil is the founder of Vivas Counseling and Care Forensic Solutions and creator of The CARE Method, an evidence-based program now used in multiple states to support both survivors and offenders. Her background includes extensive work with the Colorado Department of Corrections, court-ordered treatment programs, and expert testimony in criminal and domestic relations cases. Drawing from this deep professional experience, Nil joins Krista to explore how coercive control and its related forms, including legal abuse, financial manipulation, and psychological coercion, show up in custody cases and family court. She explains that there are now 24 recognized forms of abuse in the global research literature, yet many family law professionals still focus only on physical harm. Nil’s work seeks to change that by educating judges, attorneys, and mental health providers about the full spectrum of domestic violence and its impact on children. The discussion also examines Colorado’s evolving domestic violence laws, such as Kayden’s Law, which aim to protect families better but can be challenging to implement consistently in court. Nil and Krista address the tension between holding offenders accountable and ensuring survivors aren’t further harmed by systems meant to safeguard them. They share real-world examples of how trauma, reactive behaviors, and legal complexity intersect in divorce and custody disputes and what professionals can do to create safer, more balanced outcomes. This conversation launches a continuing series on domestic violence and coercive control, setting the stage for future episodes with Nil that will dive even deeper into the realities of abuse, accountability, and healing in family law. In this episode, you will hear:   Expanding definitions of abuse beyond physical violence How coercive control and legal abuse appear in custody disputes Why trauma-informed evaluations matter in family law cases The complexities of applying Kayden’s Law and related legislation How professionals can balance accountability with survivor protection The importance of continued education across courts and legal systems   Resources from this Episode safersociety.org/nil-buckley-ma-lpc-lac-dvcs-ncc-acs www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this solo episode of the Children First Family Law® podcast, Krista explores one of the most essential tools for helping children thrive after separation or divorce—a thoughtful, child-centered parenting plan. Drawing from years of experience as a family law attorney, mediator, and parenting coordinator, Krista explains how clarity, predictability, and flexibility can create emotional safety for children during family transitions. She breaks down how to design developmentally appropriate parenting schedules from infancy through adolescence and explains why focusing on stability rather than strict equality best supports a child’s well-being. Krista also covers shared decision-making, communication strategies, managing holidays and vacations, handling new relationships, and addressing common pitfalls like technology use and “right of first refusal” clauses. Throughout the episode, she emphasizes that clarity is love, predictability is safety, and structure is one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children. Krista closes the episode by previewing her upcoming 16-week Co-Parent Coaching Program, designed to help parents create peaceful, structured, and emotionally healthy co-parenting lives. This October episode is a roadmap for parents seeking to build a stable and cooperative foundation for their children, even amid the challenges of family restructuring. In this episode, you will hear: The core philosophy behind a peaceful, child-centered parenting plan How to structure parenting schedules for different age groups Ways to handle decision-making responsibilities without conflict Communication strategies that foster cooperation and reduce tension How to address holidays, vacations, and new relationships thoughtfully The importance of predictability, emotional safety, and flexibility Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

In this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista sits down with Christina McGhee, a co-parenting expert, mediator, and author of “Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids.” Christina brings decades of experience helping families navigate the challenges of separation and divorce, offering practical strategies to support both parents and children during transitions. Krista and Christina explore the concept of nesting, where parents temporarily share the same home after separation, allowing children to remain in one familiar environment. They discuss how nesting can help parents practice new roles, build trust, and gradually shift responsibilities, while highlighting common challenges such as establishing boundaries, managing expectations, and accommodating children’s preferences. The conversation also delves into the importance of communication, routines, and consistency for children. Christina shares actionable guidance on setting expectations for “on duty” and “off duty” parenting, fostering healthy parent-child relationships, and preparing children for changes in family structure. They also address societal expectations around mothering and fathering, and the impact of premature introduction of new partners. Throughout the episode, Christina emphasizes practical, grounded strategies parents can use to navigate co-parenting successfully. She highlights resources for parents, including her website and comprehensive guides, and emphasizes the importance of building resilience in children to cope with uncertainty and change. This episode offers a wealth of actionable insights for parents, professionals, and anyone supporting families through separation and divorce. In this episode, you will hear: What nesting involves and how it supports children during separation Ways parents can keep boundaries clear while sharing space Emotional and logistical realities of early co-parenting transitions The role of communication and shared purpose in making nesting work Situations where nesting may not serve a family well How professionals can guide parents through early transition planning Resources from this Episode Christina McGhee, Divorce Parenting Expert, Trainer, Coach, Author, Education & Training Director: SPLIT Films – Divorce and Children, LLC coparentingspecialist.com divorceandchildren.com Book: Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids www.amazon.com/s?k=parenting+apart+christina+mcghee&crid=3T5BH29G1YY0&sprefix=parenting+apart%2Caps%2C163&ref=nb_sb_ss_p13n-pd-dpltr-ranker_2_15 divorceandchildren.com/about-christina-mcghee www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this final episode of the four-part ACEs series on Children First Family Law, Krista dives into practical strategies for parents and professionals to support children through adverse experiences and the complex realities of family law. Building on earlier discussions about parental addiction, attachment, and trauma, Krista outlines ways parents can actively foster resilience and emotional security for their children, even when co-parenting challenges arise. Krista emphasizes the importance of separating a child’s perception of a parent from the parent’s struggles. She shares creative approaches, such as building a library of videos of a parent reading or engaging with the child during periods of instability. By doing this, parents can validate their child’s connection with both caregivers, avoid reinforcing negative feelings, and promote stability and trust, even in difficult circumstances. Small rituals, predictable routines, affirming therapy, and engagement with activities like art or nature help children feel secure and supported, and demonstrate the power of consistent presence over conflict. The episode also expands the focus to professionals in the family law system, including judges, attorneys, child advocates, and therapists. Krista outlines how the adversarial structure of courts can unintentionally exacerbate trauma for both children and parents, and how trauma-informed approaches grounded in safety, trust, choice, collaboration, and empowerment can mitigate harm. She highlights the need for trauma-informed language, empathy, and curiosity, both in interactions with families and in self-care for professionals navigating high-conflict cases. Closing the series, Krista paints a vision for a family law system that prioritizes children’s safety, emotional security, and long-term resilience. By combining research on ACES, practical parenting strategies, and professional responsibility, she challenges parents and practitioners to reframe conflict as an opportunity to foster connection and healing. The episode reinforces that trauma-informed advocacy is not only possible. It is essential to shape outcomes that truly serve families and communities. In this episode, you will hear: How to foster attachment and resilience in children when one parent struggles with addiction Practical strategies to maintain children’s connection to both parents through creative tools and predictable routines The importance of trauma-informed approaches in the family law system How small actions by parents and professionals can prevent new adverse childhood experiences Ways professionals can shift from judgment to empathy, curiosity, and healing-centered advocacy Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this third installment of the four-part series on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), Krista continues her powerful conversation with Columbine survivor Chris Markham. While Chris has shared the trauma of his upbringing and the violence he witnessed, this episode turns toward resilience and healing. His story shows that even when children grow up with high ACEs, it is possible to build a life filled with love, family, and purpose. Chris reflects on the role therapy played in helping him work through post-traumatic stress, anger, and grief. He explains how finding healthy outlets, such as Taekwondo, supportive relationships, and consistent guidance, helped him shift from a destructive path toward one focused on growth. Krista and Chris explore the challenges of forgiveness, the weight of intergenerational trauma, and how breaking harmful cycles can allow children to experience childhood more fully than their parents once did. The episode also highlights how parents’ choices during divorce profoundly affect their children. Chris emphasizes that even when relationships break down, children still love both parents. Respecting that bond and avoiding toxic narratives is essential for preventing long-term emotional harm. His personal experiences reveal the lasting consequences of parental alienation and the importance of maintaining space for both parents in a child’s life. Ultimately, Chris’s journey is both sobering and hopeful. From surviving Columbine to raising two children of his own, he demonstrates how resilience, forgiveness, and intentional parenting can overcome even the most painful beginnings. For parents, attorneys, and professionals working with families, this episode offers a meaningful reminder: trauma may shape us, but it doesn’t have to define us. In this episode, you will hear: Resilience grows when children are guided toward positive relationships and safe outlets Forgiveness frees individuals from carrying trauma into adulthood Breaking intergenerational cycles allows kids to experience true childhood Parents must respect a child’s bond with both parents, even after divorce Toxic narratives create lasting damage and resentment Healing requires patience, consistency, and space for reconnection Resources from this Episode www.columbinememorial.org www.cdc.gov/aces/about/index.html my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/24875-adverse-childhood-experiences-ace www.apaf.org/our-programs/justice/free-resources/what-are-aces https://www.samhsa.gov/resource/sptac/adverse-childhood-experiences-role-substance-misuse-prevention www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this second installment of the Children First Family Law podcast’s four-part series on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), Krista welcomes her longtime friend Chris Markham. Chris opens up about his childhood in a family affected by divorce, emotional disconnection, and abuse. He also reflects on the devastating day he survived the Columbine High School shooting as a freshman, bringing to light the profound ways trauma can shape a child’s life. His willingness to share these experiences provides an intimate glimpse into how ACEs manifest in real families. Chris recounts how parental alienation, strict limitations on contact with his father, and the instability of living with a mother struggling with substance abuse compounded the trauma of his early years. Physical abuse at the hands of a stepfather further deepened the challenges he faced. These experiences left him with a constant sense of disconnection and a drive to seek out healthier role models and mentors who could help him imagine a different future. Despite the weight of these adversities, Chris discovered strength in discipline and community. Through martial arts, mentorship, and his own determination, he cultivated resilience that carried him beyond the instability of his upbringing. The discipline he adopted helped him counter destructive patterns and provided him with the tools to process his pain in constructive ways. His story demonstrates the critical role that supportive adults and structured environments play in helping children heal from trauma. Today, Chris is a husband and father committed to building a stable and loving home for his family. He speaks candidly about how his past fuels his desire to break cycles of generational trauma and to model healthier relationships for his children. His journey illustrates both the risks of ACEs and the hope that comes from resilience, making this conversation an important listen for parents, professionals, and anyone striving to support children through adversity. In this episode, you will hear: Growing up with divorce, emotional disconnection, and abuse in the home The reality of surviving the Columbine High School shooting as a freshman Parental alienation and its impact on a child’s relationship with both parents The role of substance abuse and unstable environments in shaping childhood trauma Physical abuse from a stepfather and the long-lasting effects of violence in the home How discipline and martial arts created structure and stability amid chaos Mentors and supportive adults stepping in when family life fell apart Building resilience by turning pain into strength and determination The ongoing work of breaking cycles of generational trauma Creating a healthier family legacy through fatherhood and committed relationships Resources from this Episode www.columbinememorial.org www.cdc.gov/aces/about/index.html my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/24875-adverse-childhood-experiences-ace www.apaf.org/our-programs/justice/free-resources/what-are-aces www.samhsa.gov/resource/sptac/adverse-childhood-experiences-role-substance-misuse-prevention www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Today’s episode of the Children First Family Law podcast launches a powerful four-part series on adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), trauma, and resilience. Krista records this conversation with Dr. Kathleen McNamara, the day after the Evergreen High School shooting in Jefferson County, Colorado, and the assassination of Charlie Kirk in Utah. Both tragedies underscore how deeply trauma ripples through families and communities. Dr. McNamara, a psychologist and national leader in trauma-informed family law, explains the origins of the ACEs study and the direct connection between early childhood adversity and long-term outcomes such as chronic health issues, depression, and even shortened life expectancy. Together, she and Krista explore how high-conflict divorce can become an ACE, why early intervention is critical, and how functional co-parenting reduces harm. This urgent conversation also expands the ACEs discussion to modern realities—school shootings, bullying, discrimination, and the lingering effects of COVID-19—and introduces resilience factors that can alter a child’s trajectory. Safe caregivers, coping strategies, social connections, and trauma-informed practices can help children heal and thrive, even after experiencing hardship. As the first installment in the ACEs series, this episode sets the stage for Parts 2 and 3, featuring the story of a Columbine survivor who endured multiple ACEs, and Part 4, where Krista shares practical guidance for parents and professionals on protecting children’s mental health during divorce. In this episode, you will hear: ACEs disrupt brain development and long-term health High-conflict divorce as a significant ACE risk factor Modern ACEs, including school shootings, discrimination, and COVID-19 Early intervention reduces harm and improves outcomes Safe caregivers, social support, and coping strategies build resilience Trauma-informed practices in family law protecting children   Resources from this Episode www.cdc.gov/aces/about/index.html my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/24875-adverse-childhood-experiences-ace www.apaf.org/our-programs/justice/free-resources/what-are-aces www.samhsa.gov/resource/sptac/adverse-childhood-experiences-role-substance-misuse-prevention www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of the Children First Family Law podcast, Krista begins a new series exploring technology tools that help separated and divorced parents co-parent more effectively. She welcomes Heather Ruiz from TalkingParents, a platform designed to simplify communication, improve organization, and reduce conflict between co-parents. Heather shares how TalkingParents was created by a family law attorney who had firsthand experience with the struggles of co-parenting. The platform has evolved into a comprehensive solution that includes secure messaging, shared calendars, expense tracking, recorded calls, an info library for important documents, and resources for parents navigating high-conflict situations. Krista and Heather discuss the challenges parents face with traditional communication methods,  disorganized text messages, missing receipts, or misunderstandings, and how TalkingParents provides clarity, accountability, and security. Heather also explains how its features reduce litigation costs by documenting every interaction in a way that courts readily accept. For families, attorneys, and mental health professionals, this episode offers a close look at how tech tools  TalkingParents can keep the focus where it belongs—on the children. In this episode, you will hear: Why using a co-parenting app reduces conflict and builds accountability How TalkingParents helps streamline expenses, calendars, and document storage Security measures that ensure records remain accurate and admissible in court Options for both free and paid plans to meet families’ needs Extra features  recorded calls, transcripts, and educational resources How the app helps establish healthy co-parenting habits early in the process   Resources from this Episode talkingparents.com www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you  this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

In this episode of the Children First Family Law podcast, Krista welcomes Larry and Joni Jones, the creators of “The Point C Divorce,” a five-minute animated fable designed to help parents, attorneys, and professionals refocus on children’s well-being during divorce. Larry, a retired New Jersey Superior Court judge, and Joni, a board-certified psychiatric and mental health nurse, mediator, and restorative practice facilitator, combined their professional expertise and personal experiences to create a short but powerful video that shines a light on how parental conflict can harm children. The conversation traces the origins of Point C, which began with Larry sketching ideas on a pizza box after a particularly painful custody case. The video has since been used in courtrooms, mediation, and educational programs across the country, resonating with families and professionals alike. Larry and Joni explain how the fable illustrates the dangers of parents becoming consumed by litigation at the expense of their child’s emotional health. Joni shares how her own childhood experience with divorce shaped her perspective, emphasizing the importance of skill-building and forgiveness in helping families move forward. Together, she and Larry stress the need for attorneys, mediators, and parents to rethink how conflict is handled and to recognize that litigation often undermines the very “best interests of the child” it claims to protect. The episode highlights the long-term effects of contentious divorces, from fractured parent-child relationships to mental health struggles for children. Krista, Larry, and Joni discuss practical tools, such as effective listening, expectation-setting, and restorative practices, that can help parents break the cycle of conflict. You will come away with a deeper understanding of how Point C offers a wake-up call to keep children’s voices and well-being at the center of family law. In this episode, you will hear: The inspiration behind “The Point C Divorce” and how it began on a pizza box How the five-minute fable helps parents and professionals see the child’s perspective Why litigation often contradicts the “best interest of the child” Joni’s personal story as a child of divorce and how it influenced her work Tools for parents: skill-building, heartfelt forgiveness, and active listening The role of attorneys and mediators in shaping respectful, child-centered outcomes Why kids often just want the fighting to stop, no matter which parent is “right” Resources from this Episode pointcdivorce.com www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.