070: BIFF Communication for Co-Parents with Bill Eddy: International Author and Expert on Coparenting Communication

In this episode of the Children First Family Law Podcast, Krista is joined by Bill Eddy, co-founder of the High Conflict Institute and author of BIFF for Co-Parent Communication. They dive into one of the biggest challenges in family law cases: how parents communicate during conflict. Whether tensions show up around parenting time and decision making, medical issues, school events, or simple schedule changes, the way we respond can either calm the situation—or inflame it. Bill walks through the BIFF method—Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm—and explains why managing your own communication is often the fastest way to reduce conflict. He also explores why some parents get stuck in anger and how that spills over onto children. If you want practical tools to protect your kids and bring more stability to co-parent communication, this conversation is for you. In this episode, you will hear: What BIFF means and why Brief Informative Friendly Firm responses reduce conflict How to respond to hostile emails without escalating parenting time and decision making disputes The 10-question checklist before hitting send Turning an inflammatory message into a focused BIFF response Why unmanaged anger and blame keep parents stuck in high conflict How one parent changing their communication can shift the dynamic Practical tools from the High Conflict Institute for calmer co-parent exchanges Resources from this Episode Websites: https://www.conflictinfluencer.com/co-parenting https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Many BIFF books: Coparent communication – https://www.amazon.com/BIFF-Co-Parent-Communication-Difficult-Conflict/dp/1950057100/ref=sr_1_3?crid=QKXMIO5UFGIN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d-iPiyrt8sAIpAtmKgrvqxqasiVMj2Y1668V1sdm9p9RIRwALrUb2WI2HrCFeWl5O0SYll50CInBtJt_tm0cXApce2CyUYZgQUiPhPZkUrFDg5Mzir9v0Ie5s_WMz5BMsMrWB4FhgxiDhZu41VDYx2MeMu7xYT41D6g-v8mii_S_fCS66goO4BGFK_ma2rUnd2gm4_f8xIoCe0V-3d4ytpaE4n1HxUyhqYssMM0DI1U.ZtNwku4cjDzPxx-yIYT8yi6THUImqBZ4qGOyVOCJ_7E&dib_tag=se&keywords=BIFF+books&qid=1770684270&sprefix=biff+boo%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-3 High conflict personality responses – https://www.amazon.com/BIFF-Responses-High-Conflict-Personal-Meltdowns/dp/1936268728/ref=sr_1_2?crid=QKXMIO5UFGIN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d-iPiyrt8sAIpAtmKgrvqxqasiVMj2Y1668V1sdm9p9RIRwALrUb2WI2HrCFeWl5O0SYll50CInBtJt_tm0cXApce2CyUYZgQUiPhPZkUrFDg5Mzir9v0Ie5s_WMz5BMsMrWB4FhgxiDhZu41VDYx2MeMu7xYT41D6g-v8mii_S_fCS66goO4BGFK_ma2rUnd2gm4_f8xIoCe0V-3d4ytpaE4n1HxUyhqYssMM0DI1U.ZtNwku4cjDzPxx-yIYT8yi6THUImqBZ4qGOyVOCJ_7E&dib_tag=se&keywords=BIFF+books&qid=1770684270&sprefix=biff+boo%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-2 Work – https://www.amazon.com/BIFF-Work-Difficult-Workplace-Communication/dp/1950057127/ref=sr_1_4?crid=QKXMIO5UFGIN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d-iPiyrt8sAIpAtmKgrvqxqasiVMj2Y1668V1sdm9p9RIRwALrUb2WI2HrCFeWl5O0SYll50CInBtJt_tm0cXApce2CyUYZgQUiPhPZkUrFDg5Mzir9v0Ie5s_WMz5BMsMrWB4FhgxiDhZu41VDYx2MeMu7xYT41D6g-v8mii_S_fCS66goO4BGFK_ma2rUnd2gm4_f8xIoCe0V-3d4ytpaE4n1HxUyhqYssMM0DI1U.ZtNwku4cjDzPxx-yIYT8yi6THUImqBZ4qGOyVOCJ_7E&dib_tag=se&keywords=BIFF+books&qid=1770684270&sprefix=biff+boo%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-4 Lawyers & Law Firms: https://www.amazon.com/BIFF-Lawyers-Law-Offices-Communication/dp/1950057399/ref=sr_1_6?crid=QKXMIO5UFGIN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d-iPiyrt8sAIpAtmKgrvqxqasiVMj2Y1668V1sdm9p9RIRwALrUb2WI2HrCFeWl5O0SYll50CInBtJt_tm0cXApce2CyUYZgQUiPhPZkUrFDg5Mzir9v0Ie5s_WMz5BMsMrWB4FhgxiDhZu41VDYx2MeMu7xYT41D6g-v8mii_S_fCS66goO4BGFK_ma2rUnd2gm4_f8xIoCe0V-3d4ytpaE4n1HxUyhqYssMM0DI1U.ZtNwku4cjDzPxx-yIYT8yi6THUImqBZ4qGOyVOCJ_7E&dib_tag=se&keywords=BIFF+books&qid=1770684270&sprefix=biff+boo%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-6 www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.  Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.