070 - Exile in Goalville

We forget everything and start FALLING FOR VERMONT (2017) and: Hard at work or hardly working? ... THEME ... Pepperidge Farm doesn't remember ... Letters to Santa: We want it jauntier; listener Jack's bullet-point recommendation ... Not the most insane amnesia plot ... Flavor of Love ... The Expositional Challenge: Honk ... The most disturbing image in Hallmark ... Veronica Mars trauma callback ... Exploiting the vulnerable, and overnight medical ethics ... "I am not a crackpot" ... Hand over amnesiacs to social workers ... Nobody recognizes JK Rowling ... You're in Hopedale ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: There are no angels here ... Crushing on an amnesiac empty shell ... The helpless gratitude kiss ... The Day After Tomorrow callback ... Eat Your Heart Out: Cider vibes, to-go coffee, blueberry pancakes; the Nut! button; nut allergies; Beantown Today; breathin' hard, or hardly breathin'; foliage, shell food and butter; pie-eating contest; ice-cream finale ... Gazebo perturbation ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Bookstore Boss Goes Bonkers vs. Gail Is the Haint ... Overdetermined: Literal amnesia plot effacing heavy Hallmark metaphor; diving into shallow water ... No pot in this Vermont ... Crossover: Shutter Island for Hallmark amnesiacs, Rob Delaney resemblance, Michael McGlone for Geico, Godfather II, Laura Palmer's body ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Strong yes ... Great Moments in Moppetry Rating: 3, for too-precocious meta-dialogue ... Secretary of Moppetry Lauren McNamara ... Rating: 3 ... Watching the same epiphanies repeat ... Plug! ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Go for Brad (Canadian Wine Clown) ... Con Cord, New Hampshire ... Journey Girl ... Scorch Trials ... Buying your car at Ross ... Shopping montage ... Driving jump-cut ... Correct weather ... Nixon Agosies ... "Medically normal" ... [LINK] Brian Wilson is Black Ops [LINK] ... David Winning: Most Prolific Hallmark Director ... Canada: America's Rec Room ... Remaking Cronenberg's Rabid with Hallmark actors ... Exposition comes in threes ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "City of Hope," by Journey • "Hold on Hope," by Guided by Voices • "Laura Palmer's Theme," by Angelo Badalamenti • "Oklahoma, USA," by The Kinks • "Hope," by Bauhaus • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane