093 - Rain, Negging and Casual Stalkers

JESSIE OPOIEN, CHARLES STAR and SARA KATE WILKINSON return for LOVE IN THE FORECAST (2020) and: Walking the dog ... Enjoying a whiteface Tyler Perry movie ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: City vs. Country, and The Year of Leah ... Conway, AR. ... Problematize the discourse: Charles discovers Hallmark ... Constant condescension vs. Gumpian vibes and daunted by the city vs. Grandpa disdain ... Relationship oppressed ... Unspoken traumatic marriage ... Not a smart lady ... Accidental stalkers ... Cameron Diaz in There's Something About Mary ... Stripping jokes from a screwball plot ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: No supernatural beings; Brody the dog; canis ex machina; horndog demon buddy Darren ... This tiny farm town produced Scottie Pippen ... Charles discovers Hallmark diversity ... Nolan "Not playing for the same team" ... Tortured baseball metaphor ... From Out of Her League to Smeagol ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Nolan, from bro, to twerp, to sports turbro, to wimp ... Brain-damaged Mark returns to the farm ... Mark Brandon Appreciation Station ... Rumpelstiltskin Shit or intentional joke? ... Selective raining ... Mike Douglas, for Weather ... BREAK ... Eat Your Heart Out: What the f*** are those cheese sticks; whatcha got, Snack Man; Garfield torches an accelerant lasagna; Conway clam chowder; Chili's butter chicken; dry county; gift baskets ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Go Home, Female Journalist!; Leah's mom getting lost on the way to Portlandia; Love of Course (episode 50); the Hallmark floral distribution system, from episode 11, to 53, to anywhere ... Overdetermined: Laborious baseball analogies; "Science vs. Nature"; Amish resentment; fully loaded tater skins; go, team, go; [LINK] airbrushed image of the Tokyo Dome [LINK]; loving the country; "it always happens when you're not looking for it"; mom breaking herself off a piece; Sara Kate UNCENSORED; two overbearing nature vs. tech clips in five minutes ... Always diminishing Leah ... Just use GPS ... BREAK ... Crossover: Twister; Anchorman; Karen from Mean Girls; "We've Got a Great Big Conway" ... The bad fishing scene: manmade, overstocked, terrible casting, small pond, dead fish ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Absolutely Not ... Letters to Santa: Do we agree who is the real villain? ... Movie Rating: 2 ... Becoming an incel meme ... Horny Rating: 3 ... Not competent ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Charles' IMDB dive loves glamping; Rochelle's distracting sideline; Conway, Ontario; Straight-As to XXX ... "Feminist Hypocrisy" ... Double Daddy, Double Mommy, Dirty Teacher ... Jen Lilley casting ... Libra ... Kenny Chesney ... Dog content ... Choking Brody ... Witnessing male vulnerability and a real connection ... Buffalo Bill ... Bad ADR ... Chekhov's Dog ... Kidnapping a dog ... Plugs! ... Merry Christmas! • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "Riders on the Storm," by The Doors • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane • LINKS: Jessie's Twitter, Charles's Twitter, Sara Kate's Twitter