096 – The Safe Space That’s Don’s Place

Singer Song writer Jenni Alpert, commonly referred to by her birth name, Cami had a wonderful life supported by her adoptive parents as she pursued the performing arts. After her adoptive father passed away, she learned that her biological mother had too. Her maternal connections went well over time, but her paternal side remained a mystery. Locating her birth father was one thing… doing reconnaissance, ensuring her safety, and tapping into over a decade of her various volunteer experiences with people who’s lives were in the streets was something different. In their story you’ll hear the dedication of a daughter who found her birth father down and out, accepted him as he was , and worked hard to find a pathway for them to reunite and share their love of music. This is Jenni’s journey.Photo:Cami (aka Jenni Alpert) and her birth father Don Photo credit: Jeff Fasano Here’s a link to the news story I referenced: https://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/video/father-and-daughter-duo-reunited-in-song-62059077604 The post 096 – The Safe Space That’s Don’s Place appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Damon (00:10):[inaudible]Cami (00:10):[Show you good love in so you know you're mine. one of these days it wouldn't be long. all of the shadow you will be gone. Want you to see deep in my heart. Show you the truth from the start? one of these days it wouldn't be long. (song) ]Cami-Jenni (01:08):Okay. For all of the times that I worked with those that were in the prison system, it was like everything I had ever done, everything I had ever saw. All of a sudden now it made sense to me. Now I was staring at my birth father who had encompassed all these little details in his own very life, but he was a person and he was a musician and it was just really thrilling.Damon (01:53):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon (02:00):Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is singer songwriter Jenni Alpert, commonly referred to by her birth name Cami. The song you just heard is called one of these days. Jenni had a wonderful life supported by her adoptive parents as she pursued the performing arts after her adoptive father passed away. She learned that her biological mother had to locating her birth father was one thing. Ensuring her safety and tapping into over a decade of her various volunteer experiences was something different. You will hear the dedication of a daughter who found her birth father down and out, accepted him as he was, and worked hard to find a pathway for them to reunite and share their love of music. This is Jenni's journey. I was at home one night when my wife Michele called me to the television to hear an incredible news story of a woman who found her biological father and he was homeless. I was so intrigued. I immediately found Jenni online and invited her to be my guest and she agreed. Jenni's life started out in foster care and she moved to many different homes and had several different names. Listen here as she describes her beginnings, the protective re-identification she went through and how she's arrived at her identity today.Damon (03:33):I was in the foster care system at the time I was born. I was placed there and I was in several different homes until I was almost four. And I ultimately, um, was able to land a forever home around age four and was catapulted from inner city Los Angeles named baby girl Morantz first the first foster home then named me Jennifer. Then I was given away to a second foster home without the state knowing. Then I was found a little after a year and a half later placed into a couple of emergency holdings, moved around so they could figure out what to do with me and ultimately at the same time that was happening, my future adoptive parents had wanted to ensure that they would get a girl and so they had placed a request in with the adoption agency to try to adopt girl about a year previous. And finally they got a phone call when I came available and they said, are you still interested? There's a girl that you can pick up tomorrow. So my parents got in the car, they got a doll they got, well actually they got a bunny rabbit cause it was around April around Easter. Even though we aren't observant in any religious context, we happened to be a culturally Jewish family. They still brought a bunny to pick me up. And um, they, they gave me this bunny at which I still have to this day and uh, and I got the name, the last name, Alpert as my final component from baby girl Morantz to Jennifer to then I shortened it to Jenni a little bit later to Alpert, always knowing that none of those names were my intended name, but a name really is reflective of how people identify themselves and build their relationship to you. So I was always a name for someone else, but as it turns out later on in life though, I knew I had some birth name and I couldn't really remember or no one really told me like what was, I just knew it was something else. Ultimately it turned out with the court papers that I was given later that my name was actually intended to be Cameron. And so later on in life I've shortened it to Cami. So I have like a personal birth name that I go by Cami in certain circles and my music name. Also my adoptive name, Jenni Alpert is more like the online. And my adoptive family circles. So it's kind of neat to have identities connecting to different circles, making a huge community and seeing the value of a name really being important for other people, how they see themselves in relationship. To me,Damon (06:45):that is absolutely fascinating. Wow. And you know what's interesting to me as you were talking, I couldn't help but focus in on the part where you said that you were renamed in the foster homes. I didn't know that the foster homes one had any sort of legal ability to do that, but two, I've, I don't think I've ever heard anybody say that before. Have you heard that before with other people?Damon (07:09):I don't know. But I do know that my story has a couple of twists and turns that would explain why a lot of different things happen that were unique to my story. So the first piece is because my birth mother had really wanted to keep me and had intended to name me Cameron, but my birth grandparents were concerned about my wellbeing related to how I was conceived and the connection to my paternal family members at the time. It was very scary. For a lot of people that they erased my name and my birthday and just kind of made it ambiguous so that they couldn't find me. So pretty much from being born they put me in a safe space and called me baby girl and kind of pushed back the birthday a day cause I was born on the cusp between September 11th and September 12th and I just, I really didn't have a defined identity until the first foster home.Damon (08:19):That is fascinating. Wow. When Jenni arrived at her family's home at the age of four years old, life and their family with other children was well underway. Her adopted parents had each been married before. Her father had two biological boys in their early teens and her mother had adopted a boy around their same age. Jenni showed up to a home with three older brothers, but they're all family. Her adoptive mother's mom, her adopted father's dad and her brothers are just her brothers. Later you'll hear Jenni make the distinction between her by referring to her maternal and paternal sides respectively. Jenni said that while she grew up with a lot of only child experiences,...