10. Dismantling personality, building self

A brief follow-up to Episode 9. A reflection on some of the ways I fostered a healthy relationship to self, and how that was necessary for engaging with the enneagram of personality as a channel for growth.  Before you deconstruct your ego you have to build a robust relationship to self so you have somewhere to stand while you do it. I don’t mean developing a static sense of a static self—quite the opposite. It’s about developing a dynamic and ever-evolving set of practices and perspectives concerning Self, your selves’ observable behaviors, acceptance and change.  Now is the best time to start. Begin, continue, begin again.  Mentioned in this episode:       - The Avett Brothers band and their song Shame       - Noting and labeling practice to get to know one’s internal processes (a practice I learned as taught by Shinzen Young)       - The refractory period of an emotion Self-compassion (particularly the work of Kristin Neff)       - Ellen Langer’s (very American) definition of mindfulness as a flexible cognitive state in which one is able to perceive and process new information       - A popular, secular Buddhist definition of mindfulness as a state of intentional and nonjudgmental attention to the present moment (I think this may have originated with Jon Kabat-Zinn, whose book Full-Catastrophe Living was one of my most powerful introductions to formal meditation practice; I can’t recommend his work highly enough)      - Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden and build theory       - The field of Behavior Analysis and the book Self-Directed Behavior by David L. Watson and Roland G. Tharp (I used the tenth edition) for changing behavior       - Sam Harris’ Waking Up app  Let me know what resonates and what you want to hear more about.  🌸     Background photo by me, Monica  Music by Sleeping At Last  Production by me, Monica Bahan  Accompanying photos on Instagram @un.fiving  monicabahan.com