102: Navigating The Highs And Lows Of Dating And Relationships With Dr. Scott Lyons

Dr. Scott Lyons joins Sabrina to discuss the high highs and low lows of dating, focusing on the addiction to drama in relationships. He and Sabrina explore how unresolved trauma can lead to seeking emotionally unavailable partners or chaotic relationships, mirroring past experiences. They highlight how many people are drawn to emotional intensity, mistaking it for love, and how this creates a cycle of self-abandonment, as individuals chase someone else’s emotional rollercoaster instead of staying grounded in themselves. Trauma often causes people to confuse present and past experiences, making it difficult to separate healthy dynamics from old emotional patterns. Scott emphasizes that healing begins when the red flags of chaotic relationships no longer feel attractive. He also introduces the concept of "memory spread," where past emotional triggers amplify reactions in the present, causing unnecessary tension. Sabrina and Scott discuss the importance of co-regulating with a partner, articulating needs before stress builds, and learning to enjoy the calm and stability that healthy love brings. Scott notes that for some, calmness may feel unsafe, as they are habituated to chaos and seek it out to fill their anxiety. Ultimately, Sabrina and Scott both agree that true connection is built on curiosity and communication, and that chasing emotional intensity—like butterflies or drama—keeps individuals from experiencing the deeper, more stable intimacy of a healthy relationship. Get Dr. Scott's book! Addicted to Drama: Healing Dependency on Crisis and Chaos in Yourself and Others Struggling with a breakup? Join the Make It Make Sense: Getting Through a Breakup course from Sabrina and Britt Frank HERE! Stuck After the Podcast? Master Implementation in 8 Weeks with Sabrina's Foundation Course HERE! Get Ad free and 2 Bonus episodes a month HERE! Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices