107. Sorry I'm Late. I Have ADHD.' But .... My Friend Has ADHD Too. She's Never Late

Sorry I'm late. I have ADHD. So does my friend. She's sitting at the coffee shop halfway through her first one, watching me sweat through the door twenty minutes late. Same diagnosis. Different morning. Different brain doing the work behind it.What We CoverThe vein surgery saga — three appointments, three completely different outcomes, same brainThe receptionist who handed me the appointment card like a library card and the one who didn'tWhy "set more alarms, leave earlier" is the equivalent of telling someone with low blood sugar to just have more energyThe four types of ADHD time blindness — petrol gauge stuck on full, the car that won't start, the GPS that lies, the seatbelt warning that's lateWhy your strategies haven't worked — because they were built for someone else's typeWhat actually works for each one — visual time, body doubling, departure rituals, calibration with a stopwatch, manufactured deadlinesWhy "I left heaps of time" keeps being true and untrue at the same timeThe 40-50% rule — adults with ADHD underestimate task time by half. Double it. Then add buffer.Why the friend at the coffee shop at five to nine isn't more disciplined — she's borrowing structure from her environmentWhat collapses on school holidays, sick days, working from home, and what that tells you about which strategies are actually holding you upThe estrogen/dopamine link — why the same brain at 32 isn't the same brain at 42Free ResourceEnergy Accounting Guide — for the dopamine/load piece: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/Free Resources Library:https://adhdmums.com.au/product-category/free-resources/Paid ResourceADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-planner-and-values/Related EpisodesS3 EP24: QUICK RESET — The ADHD Myth of 'Just Try Harder' — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/S3 EP50: HORMONES — When Hormones Hijack the Mind: ADHD, Perimenopause & Emotional Burnout — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-50-hormones-when-hormones-hijack-the-mind-adhd-perimenopause-emotional-burnout/S2 EP67: Why Routines Always Seem to Fail for ADHD Families — and How to Fix Them — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-67-why-routines-always-seem-to-fail-for-adhd-families-and-how-to-fix-them/S3 EP49: QUICK RESET — "I'm Not Lazy — My House Just Doesn't Have a Memory" — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-49-quick-reset-im-not-lazy-my-house-just-doesnt-have-a-memory/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:https://wa.me/61403457313✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastREFERENCESBarkley, R.A. (1997). ADHD and the nature of self-control. Guilford Press.Noreika, V., Falter, C.M., & Rubia, K. (2013). Timing deficits in ADHD. Neuropsychologia, 51(2), 235–266.Willcutt, E.G., et al. (2005). Validity of the executive function theory of ADHD. Biological Psychiatry, 57(11), 1336–1346.Graybiel, A.M. (2008). Habits, rituals, and the evaluative brain. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 31, 359–387.Toplak, M.E., Dockstader, C., & Tannock, R. (2006). Temporal information processing in ADHD. Journal of Neuroscience Methods, 151(1), 15–29.Ptacek, R., et al. (2019). Clinical implications of the perception of time in ADHD. Medical Science Monitor, 25, 3918–3924.Sonuga-Barke, E.J.S. (2002). Psychological heterogeneity in AD/HD — a dual pathway model. Behavioural Brain Research, 130(1–2), 29–36.Jacobs, E., & D'Esposito, M. (2011). Estrogen shapes dopamine-dependent cognitive processes. Journal of Neuroscience, 31(14), 5286–5293.