108. Is Sex Addiction Real? What if You’re Just a Cheater?

I’m not a big fan of the term “sex addiction.” While some men fall into this category, a lot of men don’t. Therefore, calling any guy who has been unfaithful multiple times an “addict” is not necessarily accurate. This matters when you’re in recovery, as treating an addict who isn’t an addict will not work.  In fact, it typically backfires and results in relapse. I believe this is why we see such a high rate of relapse. Not because sex addiction is hard to recover from, but because men are not getting the recovery that they actually need. It’s also my belief that this is why many betrayed partners often feel that their husbands are “not in good recovery.”  I think that betrayed partners sense a lack of change in the areas that they feel are responsible for their husbands' acting out. While many men find this frustrating (I know I did), I wonder if these ladies are onto something? In this episode, I talk about the difference between an addict and a chronic cheater and what needs to be done differently in recovery. If you don’t resonate with the term “sex addict,” you’re not alone. While each of my recovery groups has 1 or 2 sex/porn addicts, most of the men in my program don’t meet the diagnostic criteria of “addiction.” If you want to dive further into this, check out my book on Amazon or Audible. The book is written from a process addiction approach rather than your typical sobriety/abstinence approach. Here is the link to my book: https://a.co/d/01M8659n