The Sex Addiction Podcast For High-achievers and Entrepreneurs

The sex addiction relapse rate is believed to be between 67 and 80 percent at 5 years. That means only 20-30% of men can avoid relapse. Why aren’t we talking more about this?! In this episode, I go on a bit of a rant. And, it’s likely to offend some people. That was not my intent. My intent was to be helpful. Some people will hear this rant and have had a totally different experience from what I describe. That’s okay. Skip this episode. However, I get on dozens of phone calls each month with men to whom this does apply. They describe the frustrations with their recovery experience and finding like-minded men to connect with. This episode is for them. If you are a high performer looking for a group of like-minded men to connect with in recovery, visit my website. I run small recovery groups of 10 men. They range from business owners, lawyers, doctors, sales professionals, to professional athletes. Fill out an application at www.successfuladdict.com

Healing your marriage after sexual betrayal can be a mess. Sometimes it feels like you have a plan… other times it feels like you have no plan at all. In this episode, Tesa Saulmon (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) outlines a clear 3-phase plan that can help. Betrayal trauma recovery is complex. Add that to a sex addict in recovery, and you have quite the challenge. It’s important to use a framework so that your marriage can stay on track. Tesa uses the framework created by Joanna and Matthew Raabsmith to help couples heal after sexual betrayal. In this episode, she explains the 3 phases and how to navigate each one. If you would like to contact Tesa Saulmon, you can find her website here: https://www.roottobloomtherapy.com/ If you’re a high achiever, executive, or entrepreneur and you have not yet read my book, you can find it and the audiobook here on Amazon: https://a.co/d/0iOe8wNU

I’m not a big fan of the term “sex addiction.” While some men fall into this category, a lot of men don’t. Therefore, calling any guy who has been unfaithful multiple times an “addict” is not necessarily accurate. This matters when you’re in recovery, as treating an addict who isn’t an addict will not work.  In fact, it typically backfires and results in relapse. I believe this is why we see such a high rate of relapse. Not because sex addiction is hard to recover from, but because men are not getting the recovery that they actually need. It’s also my belief that this is why many betrayed partners often feel that their husbands are “not in good recovery.”  I think that betrayed partners sense a lack of change in the areas that they feel are responsible for their husbands' acting out. While many men find this frustrating (I know I did), I wonder if these ladies are onto something? In this episode, I talk about the difference between an addict and a chronic cheater and what needs to be done differently in recovery. If you don’t resonate with the term “sex addict,” you’re not alone. While each of my recovery groups has 1 or 2 sex/porn addicts, most of the men in my program don’t meet the diagnostic criteria of “addiction.” If you want to dive further into this, check out my book on Amazon or Audible. The book is written from a process addiction approach rather than your typical sobriety/abstinence approach. Here is the link to my book: https://a.co/d/01M8659n

Imagine having something holding you back in your sex addiction recovery that you’re unaware of… In this episode, my guest Shirley Lytle (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) educates listeners on how to spot and manage “complex shame.” I personally found this episode thrilling to record, as I had never heard of complex shame before. Like most complex issues in psychology, it is… complex. Listening to this episode, you will see why. But what I found most interesting was that the majority of sex addicts who are struggling with complex shame have no idea that they have it. This can lead to defensiveness, which we all know stunts sex addiction recovery. If you would like to contact Shirley, you can find her website here: https://lwpc-wa.com/ If you are looking for a group of men to recover with, visit my website: successfuladdict.com My groups are designed specifically for business professionals, entrepreneurs, executives, and business owners who are struggling with sex addiction and chronic cheating.

Are you being honest about your sex addiction? Honest with your wife? Your Therapist? Yourself? The bigger question is, can you be honest? While people call this a “sex addiction,” in my groups, only 10-20% of guys are actually addicted to sex or porn. They get caught, and then they stop. By definition, they’re not a sex addict. So, what are they? Well, the answer to this question matters. If you can’t answer it… are you even in recovery? How do we know these behaviors won’t happen again? Sex addiction is classified as a process addiction. It’s important to understand your unique process if you want to prevent it from happening again. In this episode, I talk about how many men are not in good recovery. Not because they aren’t trying, but because they aren’t being honest about their behavior. If you’re not an addict, then you need a different style of treatment. Abstinence and sobriety-based treatment plans are not going to work for you. If you want to learn more about process addiction and how to discover your specific process, check out my book on Amazon or audiobook here: https://a.co/d/0fhSabK3

Successful men are often “highly sensitive people.” And, the sad part is that they have no idea. I myself am a highly sensitive person, as are most successful entrepreneurs. Our sensitivity is a superpower. However, it can cause difficulties when it comes to sex addiction recovery. In this episode, I’m joined by Jason VanRuler and Mike Vaughn. We connected at a sex addiction conference and decided that this would be a great podcast topic for my listeners. We first define what a “Highly Sensitive Person” is and how it might affect you in recovery. Even if you think you aren’t highly sensitive, I would recommend that you give this episode a listen. You might be surprised. Many of the men in my recovery groups are highly sensitive. Understanding this has been os great help for them when it comes to crafting an effective recovery plan. If you are an executive, entrepreneur, or business professional who is lacking a recovery group of like-minded men to connect with, visit my website here: successfuladdict.com

In a hyper sexual world, why do some men act out and others don’t? The Answer: For sex addicts… It’s worth it. Crazy right?! Well, it's less crazy when you learn WHY they act out. Which is exactly what I talk about in this episode. In this podcast, I discuss:  How men reach the point where acting out becomes an option  How men free themselves from the guilt What men need to do if they want to achieve lasting recovery Sex addiction is a process addiction. It’s complex, diverse, and unique to the individual. As a result, your recovery will need to be customized. If your goal is to restore trust in your marriage, help your wife feel safe, and prevent this from happening again… You need to develop a recovery plan that’s actually going to work for your specific process addiction. If you’re a business professional, an entrepreneur, or an executive looking for a sex addiction recovery group full of like-minded men you can connect with, visit my website: successfuladdict.com

Many sex addicts are not in good recovery. But it’s not always their fault.  A “deficit” is when something critical is missing. In terms of sex addiction, a deficit describes a critical element of recovery that is lacking or underdeveloped. The result is a guy who is unable to fully embody the behavior required to recover. This is extremely common in sex and porn addiction, as most men who develop these unwanted behaviors typically lack emotional attunement, integrity, empathy, and many other human skills that were not correctly modeled to them as children. These guys are trying to recover… but may look like they aren’t trying. This is because they intellectually understand what is required, but are unable to do it in real life. In this episode, I’m joined by Chris Jones out of the UK. Chris has been on my podcast before and is one of my favorite guests. He and I share a similar outlook when it comes to sex addiction recovery. For those of you who are interested in working with Chris, you can find him here: https://chrisjonestherapy.co.uk/ If you are a high achiever, business owner, or professional, and you resonated with this episode, visit my website. I run sex addiction recovery groups for successful men using weekly zoom calls, daily accountability, and bi-annual intensives. Visit my website here: successfuladdict.com

You need a stance on pornography. Is it okay or is it not ok? If you don’t have a stance, you’ll likely relapse. Sex addiction and porn addiction recovery plans need to be crystal clear. And, they can't be clear if you haven’t yet decided if you really want to stop. Now, I know you want to stop (otherwise you wouldn’t be listening to this podcast). But, do you want to stop for you? Or is it because of your faith or your wife? I believe that recovery is only possible if done for you and the betterment of your life. In this episode, I list off some things to consider that will help you solidify your stance against pornography. If you want more resources to help you in recovery, buy my book on Amazon here: https://a.co/d/0jhqrMzp

It’s easy to get stuck in the betrayal healing process. It’s hard, confusing, emotional, and ever-changing. While recovering from sex addiction can have its own challenges, relational recovery can often be much more challenging. Yes, it takes time. But there’s also a lot you can do to screw it up and make it take longer. In this episode, I’m joined by Hope Ray, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. She hosts 3-day couples intensives specializing in working with those healing from sexual betrayal.  Hope and I talk about the struggles that couples encounter in recovery after they make it past the crisis stage. Long-term healing looks different than the first 6-months. You will need to practice a different skill set if you want to restore trust and safety. If you and your wife are interested in working with Hope Ray, you can find her website here:https://www.hoperay.com/ On her website, you can also find her private podcast for betrayed partners. For those of you interested in attending one of my intensives, I still have room for a few more men this summer and in the fall. Visit my website to fill out an application: successfuladdict.com

It’s unfortunate how many guys don’t know what a good sex addiction recovery plan looks like. Their long-term sobriety and the health of their marriage are threatened as a result. In this episode, I review how to build a sex addiction recovery plan and what it needs to look like if you want it to be effective. I also discuss what betrayed partners want to see from you before they can trust you again. Recovery doesn’t have to be hard, but you do need a plan that has been psychologically proven to be effective. From there, you need to inform your recovery group so that they can keep you accountable. Recovering from sex and porn addiction is a long road. You’ll need other men to keep you accountable if you’re going to stay in this long enough to make a full recovery. I have 2 chapters in my book that will help you create a recovery plan. You can find my book here on Amazon: https://a.co/d/006Ka8Tr If you’re a high-achieving guy looking for a recovery group full of like-minded men, take a look at my website. You cannot recover without deep connections with men whom you relate to and admire. You’ll find plenty of them in my groups. Visit successfuladdict.com

“Check-Ins” are a common thing after sexual betrayal and infidelity. They are intended to rebuild safety and trust. But they can also result in arguments and disconnection. In this episode, I am joined by Dr. Jill Manning. She and I talk about how check-ins can be helpful and how to prevent them from being unhelpful. Betrayed partners often worry that they are not getting the full truth. After being lied to for so long, their brain has a hard time trusting that they know everything their partner is doing. A great way to soothe some of the anxiety is through performing a daily check-in. However, when done incorrectly, these check-ins can end up in conflict, disagreements, and disconnection. Not a great way to end your day (especially if you have to do it again tomorrow!). In this episode, we help recovering sex addicts perform a productive check-in that results in restoring safety and trust for the betrayed partner. If you want to explore working with Dr. Manning, you can visit her website here: https://drjillmanning.com/ If you are a high-achiever seeking a recovery group full of like-minded men, head over to my website. It can be difficult to find guys to connect with in recovery, even more so if you are in the top 2%. This is unfortunate, as connection is EVERYTHING when it comes to recovery. If you are a business owner, professional, executive, or entrepreneur, I have built recovery groups full of men like you. Fill out an application here: successfuladdict.com

Ever notice how some parts of your sex addiction just stop, and others seem to stay on your mind? Some might be addictive, others might be sexually compulsive. Some of them may just come down to an integrity issue. This matters. Why? Because if you’re trying to avoid relapse, you need to make sure that treatment is actually going to solve the issue. Because sex addiction is a process addiction, you can’t recover unless you know what you’re recovering from. In this episode, I break down the difference between addictive and compulsive sexual behavior. Why sex and porn addiction treatments may not work for some men and what they will need to do instead. I dive much deeper into this concept in my book, “The High Achiever's Guide to Sex Addiction Recovery: A Proven Blueprint for Successful Professionals to Overcome Sex and Porn Addiction.” For those of you wanting to dive further into the specifics of your own process addiction, visit my website and fill out an application. We can jump on a phone call to discuss how my recovery groups may be what you’re looking for: www.successfuladdict.com

Narcissism is a word you’ll hear quite a bit these days. And, it’s often brought up around men struggling with a sex addiction and chronic cheating. But there’s a difference between narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and narcissistic traits. Betrayed partners are often concerned that their husbands might be narcissists. This episode will clear this up. Dr. Alexandra Repke is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and has her PhD in Counseling Psychology. The treatment of narcissistic personality disorder is a specialty of hers. In this episode, Dr. Repke explains NPD. We also discuss what is required to overcome narcissistic traits. You can reach Dr. Repke here: https://www.repkepsychologicalservices.com/ If you are a professional, executive, or entrepreneur looking for a group of men to recover with, visit my website here: successfuladdict.com

There’s a difference between sobriety and recovery when it comes to sex addiction. A big difference. You’ve probably seen the stats that relapse is common. My belief is that this is because most men are in good sobriety… not recovery. Sobriety is about stopping the behaviors from happening. Recovery is about preventing them from happening in the future. In this episode, I outline the difference between a sobriety plan and a recovery plan. I provide details and examples that will help you create your own recovery plan. Sobriety is important. But, recovery is what you need if your hope is to prevent relapse and further damage to your marriage. High-performing men typically have a very different sex addiction when compared to the general population. For this reason, their recovery plan will also look quite different. If you’re a business professional, executive, owner, investor, or entrepreneur, you may find my book helpful. “The High Achiever's Guide to Sex Addiction Recovery: A Proven Blueprint for Successful Professionals to Overcome Sex and Porn Addiction” You can find the book here on Amazon: https://a.co/d/4jE4JnX

Tammy Gustafson has a wealth of knowledge when it comes to betrayal trauma and healing marriages after infidelity. She just released her new book, Broken to Brave. You can find it here on Amazon: https://a.co/d/aQqYtaV In this episode, Tammy walks us through the phases of sexual betrayal healing and what is required in each step. Sex and porn addiction impact betrayed partners in a very deep way. Learning to navigate the relational healing process is critical if you’re trying to save the marriage. Healing will require empathy, managing her triggers, and communicating in a way that allows you two to connect in hard times. Tammy and I talk about all of this in the podcast. If you’re a high achiever, executive, or entrepreneur looking for a group of like-minded men to connect with in recovery. Visit my website: successfuladdict.com If you have yet to read my book, you can find it on Amazon, and the audiobook on Audible. “The High Achiever's Guide to Sex Addiction Recovery: A Proven Blueprint for Successful Professionals to Overcome Sex and Porn Addiction” (audiobook is narrated by me, Roland Cochrun)

It’s unfortunate… But your wife, family, and faith alone are not enough to stop your sex addiction. If they were, you wouldn't be listening to this podcast. The men in my groups who are the fastest to recover have tapped into something more. Something that energizes them and keeps them leaning into recovery. Recovering from sex addiction is not a short road. You need to make sure that your recovery plan can go the distance. It’s easy for men to lean in for the first year. But many guys eventually get burned out. You need to prevent this! Burnout will certainly put you at risk of relapse and will not make your wife feel safe in the relationship. In this episode, I talk about how men have tapped into something that keeps them excited about their recovery. If you have not yet read/listened to my book, I talk about this concept in great detail. You can find my book here on Amazon: https://a.co/d/dzD9LKt The book is titled: “The High Achiever's Guide to Sex Addiction Recovery: A Proven Blueprint for Successful Professionals to Overcome Sex and Porn Addiction.”

In this episode, Michelle Edsall joins me in a discussion on “good recovery” and how sex addicts can show betrayed partners that they are putting in the work. We talk about common triggers and questions that betrayed partners often ask men in recovery. Learning how to navigate these difficult conversations is critical when it comes to healing your marriage and establishing a sense of safety. For those of you interested in working with Michelle, you can find her here: https://www.counselingcenterwm.org/provider/michelleedsall If you have yet to read my book, you can find it here in print and in Audiobook format: https://a.co/d/ir3JXwt

We all know that connection and peer-support are the most critical elements in recovery from sex addiction. Despite going to meetings, not all men are actually connecting or receiving peer-support. This does NOT mean that you should stop going to meetings. Instead, take charge. In this episode, I discuss how to get the most out of your support groups so that you can achieve long-term sobriety and prevent relapse. If you’re a high achiever, executive, business/sales professional, or entrepreneur looking for like-minded men to recover with, visit my website: www.successfuladdict.com

Sure, you’ve gone through the basics. But it was probably back when your sex or porn addiction was first discovered. The truth is, it's hard to digest and implement everything correctly when you’re first discovered. Life is chaotic, and your marriage is hanging on by a thread. So, now that you’re further down the road of sex addiction recovery, you would likely benefit from revisiting the basics to ensure that you’ve implemented them into your recovery plan. I’m joined in this episode by Jennifer Kuck and Marilyn Witbeck, Certified Sex Addiction Therapists from the Atlanta Relationship Institute. We discuss common pitfalls sex addicts make in their recovery and how to make sure that you have implemented everything you can to repair your marriage. For those interested in working with Jennifer or Marilyn, you can find their website here: https://atlantarelationshipinstitute.com/ For those who are interested in attending my next intensive, visit my website here: Successfuladdict.com

Have you ever heard someone say: “I can’t wait to stop eating healthy.”“I can't wait to stop going to the gym.”"I can't wait to stop brushing my teeth.” No! Because these things are important. So, why do sex addicts wonder when they will stop having to be in recovery? Recovery is different from sobriety. Sobriety is about stopping the unwanted sexual behavior. Recovery is about ensuring you’re a thriving human being. It’s about ensuring you’re getting the most out of life. That you are experiencing fulfillment, developing deeply connected friendships, and leaving a legacy you’re proud of. Why would you want that to end?

You would think that experiencing infidelity would decrease the chance that you would be unfaithful… But this isn’t always the case. In fact, being betrayed can lead to trauma that could then cause you to be the one who betrays. Adam Nisenson (The Betrayal Shrink) is a CSAT who specializes in treating betrayed men who have experienced infidelity. With so much of the focus being on male cheating, it can be easy to overlook female cheating. In this episode, Adam and I talk about how betrayal trauma is different for men and how it can lead to intimacy disorders, addiction, and compulsive behavior in the future. Adam is the author of the book, “A Man's Guide to Partner Betrayal: Overcoming the Pain and Repercussions of a Cheating Partner.” You can find his website here: https://www.betrayalshrink.com/ If you have experienced an emotional affair, physical cheating, or relational deception, listen to this episode. You might be surprised by what you learn about yourself.

If you acted out sexually at your place of work or during business travel, it’s common for betrayed partners to feel unsafe when it comes to your career and travel. Many men recovering from sex addiction are asked by their wives to change jobs or stop traveling for work. This can be a challenging request to navigate. Many of the men in my groups have faced this conversation in early recovery. In this episode, I discuss how to navigate this and what to consider. I also share my personal experience with this after my discovery. If you are a high-achiever, executive, business professional, or entrepreneur looking for like-minded men to connect with in recovery, visit my website: successfuladdict.com

Dr. Trish Leigh uses advanced neuroscience technology to treat men with sex and porn addiction. In this episode, she explains to listeners how it works. Dr. Leigh looks for dysfunctional brain patterns and then prescribes the appropriate treatment strategy. She is the author of the book, “Mind Over Explicit Matter. Quit Porn and Improve Intimacy Through Neuroscience.” She also has an extremely robust YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@DrTrishLeigh You can find her at her website https://drtrishleigh.com/ If you are a high-performer looking for a sex addiction recovery group full of other successful men to connect with in recovery, visit my website: www.successfuladdict.com

What we measure matters. Without measurement and monitoring, how do you know if you’re getting closer to where you want to be? This is absolutely true for sex addiction recovery. Most of the men I talk to are checking boxes but not following a recovery plan. Addicts need to understand what caused them to act out so that they can create a plan to prevent it from happening again. We see a high relapse rate in this field, and I don’t believe it’s because recovery is hard… I believe it's because most men do not have a clear understanding of how and why it happened. Your sex addiction recovery plan should be mapped out and should include milestones that you can monitor as you progress. For married men, your wife should be aware of your plan and how you’re measuring success. This will help her regain trust and safety. If you need help creating your recovery plan, visit my website: successfuladdict.com

In this episode, Dr. Jake Porter explains his integrity model and how it can be used in sex addiction recovery. As many of you know from listening to my podcast, I admire Jake Porter and all he has done for the field of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. His approach has helped so many couples heal their marriages and betrayed partners regain their sense of self. In this episode, Jake and I break “integrity” into its components. Integrity is so much bigger than people realize. It’s more than simply being honest. Integrity requires health in all areas of your life. Jake has a ton of amazing offerings for sex addicts, betrayed partners, and couples healing from betrayal. Check out his website at https://www.daringventures.com/ If you are a high-achiever, executive, professional, or entrepreneur looking for like-minded men to connect with in recovery, check out my website: www.successfuladdict.com

In this brief podcast episode, I talk about what 95% of sex addicts blame for their slips and relapses… and it's a total excuse. It’s not their fault. They don’t mean to make excuses. But, there’s certainly a more productive way to get to the root cause of their acting-out behavior. To be in good recovery, you must know WHY you do the things you do. If you want help discovering the WHY behind your sex or porn addiction, visit my website. My groups are RECOVERY groups… not sobriety groups. Long-term change is what you need, not sobriety. If you’re a high-achiever, executive, sales professional, or entrepreneur looking for a recovery group, visit successfuladdict.com

Sex addiction is much bigger than most people realize. While it's often discussed that sex and porn addiction are a result of childhood trauma, emotional regulation, entitlement, etc. There are many more reasons why someone would become sexually compulsive. In this episode, I interview Jeremy Mast, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. He and I discuss how big this problem is and the wide variety of things that men will need to explore if they are going to get into good recovery. If you want to connect with Jeremy and explore working with him or one of his therapists, visit his website: https://www.centerforintegrativechange.com/ If you are looking for a recovery group designed specifically for high-achieving men, visit my website at www.successfuladdict.com

Sex addiction sucks because it's the one you’re not allowed to have. You can struggle with most every other problem… but not this problem. Compassion will be hard to come by given the trauma you will cause your wife and family. Society has its view of what a “sex addict” is. A pervert, a freak, a weirdo, someone who is unsafe to have around kids, etc. And, there certainly can be career consequences. I personally have experienced a loss of professional opportunities due to publicly announcing what my wife and I were dealing with. It sucks to have a problem that people will not let you have. And, because compassion and understanding will be in rare supply, you need to find a peer-support group that you can lean on through this. Otherwise, relapse is a realistic possibility. If you’re a successful guy looking for a group of other high-achieving men to recover with, head to my website: successfuladdict.com

Sarah Morales is the founder of Deconstructing Gaslighting. In this episode, we define gaslighting. What it is, what it isn’t, and what to do about it. Sex addicts often gaslight their partners before, during, and after discovery. Recovering from this form of deception can be very challenging for betrayed partners, especially in the midst of betrayal trauma. In this episode, Sarah and I deconstruct gaslighting in a way that both sex addicts and betrayed partners can understand. We also provide couples with some clarity on how to move forward. If you want to discover more about Sarah's work, visit her website heret: https://www.sarahmoralescoaching.com/ If you’re a high-achiever, executive, or entrepreneur looking for a recovery group full of like-minded men. Visit my website at successfuladdict.com

It's a common assumption… “Roland, don't you think that these men need to hang out with men who are NOT like them? Don’t you think this adds to their ego and narcissistic traits?” No… I strongly disagree. In fact, the fastest way for them to get over their superiority complex, grandiosity, and narcissistic traits is to be around men who are struggling in the same way. Yes, these traits are largely responsible for their sex addiction. Therefore, they need to be a HUGE focus in their recovery. This episode discusses why it’s essential to prioritize addressing these unwanted traits at the top of your recovery list. If you are a high-achiever looking for a recovery group full of like-minded men, visit our website to apply: www.successfuladdict.com

This episode is much different than anything I’ve done. It’s a personal story of the pain that sex addiction can bring to a family. Kendra agreed to share her story with my audience. As you will clearly hear in her voice, sharing this was not easy for her. Sex addiction and betrayal trauma are more than just mental health diagnoses… these are people's lives that are being affected. Kendra shared her story here to help those who have been and are currently being affected by sex addiction and the pain that follows discovery. Her hope was that this episode might help families out there who are feeling similar pain. You’re not alone. And, there’s a way forward. I honor Kendra for sharing this deeply personal story with us. And, I ask that when you listen to this episode, you hold it in an honorable and respectful place. If your family has been personally affected by sex addiction or compulsive sexual behavior, Kendra is a therapist and may be able to help you. Send me an email if you’d like to be connected to her.

Successful men with a sex addiction often get criticized for their entitlement, grandiosity, or their superiority complex. But, where do these traits come from? I’ll be the first to admit that my sex addiction stems from these traits. But, I wasn’t always that way. How did this happen to me? I have my theory. And, I present it in this podcast. I would love to hear your perception of WHY men are becoming entitled and develop the desire to be superior. Head to my website to send me a message via the contact form: successfuladdict.com If you want to dive deeper into this topic of entitlement, superiority, and attention seeking, read my book. You can find it here on Amazon or Audible for the audiobook: https://a.co/d/dEkZbHC

When it comes to sex addiction… your “why” matters. It exposes the perceived value of the behavior that you’re chasing. In my opinion, you cannot be in good recovery until you understand what it is that you need to recover from. While this is called “sex addiction” and “porn addiction,”… it’s rarely about sex or porn. So, what is it about? Listen to this episode to find out what your brain wants. Because sex addiction is so different from person to person, it helps to find a group of men who have a similar addiction to yours that you can recover with. If you are a high achiever, executive, or entrepreneur and you are looking for a group of like-minded men to recover with, visit my website at www.successfuladdict.com

Sobriety and recovery are two different things. Sobriety is needed before you can truly recover. But can sobriety alone take you the distance? Marnie Ferree is the founder of Bethesda Workshops in Nashville, Tennessee. She speaks to long-term recovery, both from personal and professional experience working with sex and porn addicts. In this episode, she and I discuss the ins and outs of long-term sex addiction recovery. This journey rarely comes without some bumps along the way. But how you navigate these bumps will determine if you relapse or stay on the road to sexual integrity. To learn more about Marnie and her story, visit https://bethesdaworkshops.org/about-us/our-team/marnie/marnies-story/. If you’re looking for a recovery group that can assist in helping you maintain and achieve long-term sex addiction recovery, visit my website here: successfuladdict.com

12-step meetings are designed to go through the 12 steps. They are not designed for connection. And, they are not therapy. Sex addiction is incredibly different from guy to guy. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. If 12-step meetings are not resonating with you, you need to find something that does. Many high-achieving men struggle with 12-step groups. They find them inefficient, lacking structure, and difficult to find connection. There are many reasons why, and I discuss them in this podcast episode. If you are a high-achiever, executive, business professional, or entrepreneur looking for a recovery group full of like-minded men, visit my website: successfuladdict.com

Yes, there’s the sex addiction, the compulsive sexual behavior, and… there’s the lying. Deceptive sexuality needs to be addressed in addition to your sex/porn addiction. Cheryl Camarillo and I attended training together at The Institute of Sexual Health for Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Treatment for infidelity and compulsive sexual behavior disorders. Both of us work with high-achieving men and have noticed interesting nuances in their acting-out behavior. We talk about these nuances and how your recovery will need to be customized to deal with them. If you are interested in working with Cheryl, you can find her here: https://cherylcamarillo.com/ If you have not yet read my book, you can find it here on Amazon: https://a.co/d/gYeiXKv

Have some unwanted sexual behaviors stopped, while others keep nagging at you?Is it possible you’re missing the reason why you act out? What if you’re using the wrong sex addiction treatment strategies?What if each acting-out behavior has a different cause? In this episode, I explore how pornography, affairs, and paid sex can have different causes. And, if so, you’ll need different treatment strategies to remove them from your life. Because each acting-out behavior is formed at different ages and different times of life, each one likely has a different driver. If you want to be in good recovery, it's your job to discover the why behind EACH of the behaviors… not just one. For many high-achieving men, their acting out comes from a wide variety of reasons… not just dopamine for emotional regulation. Some are seeking attention, validation, novelty, control, and superiority. Whatever the cause, your recovery depends on your figuring it out and developing an efficient plan that is psychologically proven to work. If your recovery is lacking and you want more structure and accountability, check out my recovery groups here: successfuladdict.com

Sex and Porn Addiction recovery is complex and multifaceted. Add the betrayed partner's experience, and you have an even more challenging situation. Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein wrote a book called Finding the Way Through. This workbook is designed to integrate sobriety, recovery, and betrayed partner sensitivity. In this interview, we discuss the nuances of personal and relational recovery. You can find their new book here on Amazon: https://a.co/d/hE1SoEC If you are a high-acheiver, business professional, or entrepreneur looking for a recovery group full of like-minded men, visit my website at successfuladdict.com. Our groups provide men with a deeply connected tribe that they can lean on in recovery. We use weekly Zoom meetings, daily accountability, and biannual 4-day intensives. Visit my website for more information about applying for our next group.

While 12-step was never really my thing… One thing I did take from it was the 3-circle sobriety plan. Sex addiction is an interesting addiction because the definition of sobriety changes from person to person. But one thing I really like about the “3-circle” idea was that it focuses more on recovery and prevention rather than just sobriety. In this episode, I share my personal 3-circle sobriety plan as a reference for those looking to implement something similar in their recovery. If you are a high-achiever and you have not yet read or listened to my book, you can find it here on Amazon: https://a.co/d/5CUHoFd

It’s unanimously agreed (and the research supports it) that peer support and connection with other addicts is the best treatment strategy for sex addiction. It's PEER support… Not just going to meetings. You need to be surrounded by men who you believe are your peers. It’s connection… Not just sharing when it's your turn to share. Connection involves relatability, common interests, and feeling like the other person understands what its like to be you. Yes, peer support and connection are vital. But, they are actually difficult to find, establish, and implement. In this episode, Pam Blizzard and I dive into connection and the benefits when treating sex and porn addiction. Pam is a wealth of knowledge and a well-respected member of the sex addiction and betrayal trauma field. You will feel her experience when listening to this episode. If you want to contact Pam, you can find her website here: https://recoveredpeace.com/ If you’re a high-acheiver in recovery and are looking for a group of your peers to recover with, my program may be a perfect fit. After attending one of our 4-day intensives, you will have a tribe of like-minded men you can lean on to achieve long-term recovery. Visit our website for more info: successfuladdict.com

Is your recovery group actually a recovery group?Is the group too big?Are you getting individualized feedback?Do you enjoy your time with your group and look forward to the meeting? Just because you are going to a group or a meeting doesn’t mean it’s working. In this episode, I discuss the point of peer support and what it should be doing for you. You should feel yourself recovering when you leave every meeting. Change is the objective. If you don’t feel like your recovery group is accelerating your recovery… You should probably find another group. If you are a high achiever or entrepreneur and you have not yet bought my book, you can find it here on Amazon: https://a.co/d/1yPIaMN

Even the best communicators will be challenged when recovering from sexual betrayal. Fear, anger, resentment, injustice, a lack of trust… This is not a great container for grounded conversation. But this is reality, and you’re going to need to learn how to navigate it as a couple. Too often, couples recovering from infidelity heal in isolation but fight together. The problem is that healing happens together… not apart. On this episode, I’m joined by Dani Peterson. She works with betrayed partners and couples in recovery. She and I discuss the difficulties that couples face when communicating post-betrayal. For those of you interested in working with Dani, she has offered our listeners a FREE 30 minute consultation. Use the link here to schedule: https://calendly.com/danimpeterson/consultation You can learn more about Dani at her website: https://www.danimpeterson.com/ Have you read my recovery book? If not, I want to give you access to the first chapter for free. Use this link here: https://successfuladdict.com/firstchapter

Are you monitoring the wrong things? Often, I find men are too focused on the behaviors rather than the cause of their sex addiction. Recovery is about change… Not just avoiding unwanted behavior. In this episode, I talk about how you can check in with your recovery group and help them keep you accountable. Finding a tribe of like-minded men to do recovery with is the most important thing you can do for your recovery. This podcast episode will explain why. If you’re a high-acheiver, executive, business professional, or entrepreneur looking for a group of other high-achieving men to recover with, visit my website: successfuladdict.com Connection is everything when it comes to sex addiction recovery. Having a deeply connected support group is the best way to maintain long-term recovery.

Is it defensiveness? Or, is it a deficit? Understanding this could make a huge difference in improving your communication as a couple when recovering from betrayal trauma and infidelity. We all know that being defensive destroys connection and increases conflict. But first, we need to be sure that the person really is being defensive. Not every reaction comes from a defensive place. Often, people act the way they do because they lack maturity in that area. Empathy, conflict resolution, communication, compassion. All of these skills must be developed as a child. If not, you may struggle using these skills as an adult. What may look like defensiveness may actually stem from a deficit in his/her ability to interact in this high-stress and deeply emotional environment. The truth is, many sex addicts in recovery did not learn how to practice empathy, healthy conflict resolution, and compassion. Their parents and mentors did not help them develop these skills. Many aspects of masculine culture label these skills as weak or feminine. It's never too late to learn healthy relationship skills. And, we need to make sure that we're not shaming someone who is trying their best. It's hard enough to do something that is foreign to you. It's even harder when you feel like you need to be ashamed of your inability to do so. Being supportive is always the best route you can take. In this podcast episode, Dr. Jake Porter and I discuss how to determine if your partner is being defensive or if they have a deficit in this area. And, what can be done to address this issue so that it does not continue to harm the relationship. If you would like a free copy of Jake's book, you can download it here: https://drjakeporter.com/breakingbarriers/ If you're a high-achiever looking for a group of like-minded men to recover with, visit my website: successfuladdict.com My book is now on Audible for those of you who have been waiting for the audiobook. You can listen to it here: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-High-Achievers-Guide-to-Sex-Addiction-Recovery-Audiobook/B0F5XZ85XV

Financial success and recovery are two different things. Often, the things that made you money may be some of the same things that caused your sex addiction. This doesn’t mean that you need to stop being successful in your career. It means you need to become aware of when to use each skill set. Many of the skills needed to recover from sex and porn addiction are different from the skills you’ve used to make money. In this episode, I’m joined by MaryAnn Michaelis, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. We discuss the difference between success in business and success in recovery. You can do both! If you want to contact MaryAnn, you can reach her here on her website: https://maryannmichaelis.com/ If you’re interested in checking out the courses she referenced during the episode, head to https://www.humanintimacy.com/courses If you are a high-achiever in recovery and you are looking for a group of like-minded men to recover with, visit my website and fill out an application: successfuladdict.com Each group of 10 men uses a daily accountability system, weekly Zoom meetings, and in-person 4-day intensives. Visit my website to apply and book your interview on my calendar.

Coping mechanisms have the potential to ruin your life. But changing them can be difficult if you don’t know WHY you’re doing it. In the addiction space, you will hear professionals talk about the power of discovering your “why.” But, it's a bit more complicated than that. In this podcast episode, I help men understand what coping mechanisms are, how to recognize when they’re being used, and how to change the harmful patterns. If you’re a betrayed partner, I would recommend listening to this episode as well. It may help you understand what your husband is doing and what will be required to change. If you’re a successful guy in recovery and need help discovering your WHY, my recovery groups can guide you. Visit my website to learn more: successfuladdict.com

Candice Christensen is well known for her ability to use Internal Family System (IFS) with both Sex Addicts and Couples to help them navigate the root cause of the sexually compulsive behavior. I personally believe IFS is one of the best forms of treatment for sex and porn addiction. I personally used it in my recovery, and my clients who use it seem to get better results than those who don’t. In this episode, Candice and I break down IFS and how it can be used to organize and accelerate your recovery. It’s also a great tool to use when explaining your process addiction to betrayed partners. For those who want to explore working with Candice and attending one of her intensives, visit her website here: https://www.candicechristiansen.com/ If you’re a high-achiever, business professional, executive, or entrepreneur looking for a recovery group full of other successful men, visit my website: successfuladdict.com Our approach is organized and efficient with an emphasis on peer support, connection, and accountability. You cannot overcome this alone. You need to find a tribe of like-minded men that you can lean on in recovery.

Are you an addict or a selfish womanizer? Historically, it’s been said that you are either one of the two. But, is it really only limited to these two options? What if you’re neither?What if you are a selfish womanizer?What if you’re both? Is the treatment the same?If not, what’s different? Does your wife need to be worried?If you’re not an addict, should she leave you? Sex Addict or A-hole? In this episode, I discuss a third option.

The truth is… recovering from sex addiction is hard. And, healing your marriage is even harder. In this episode, we give it to you straight (no sugar coating). Jackie Pack is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist with a no BS approach. She and I have a raw and real discussion about the reality of sex addiction recovery. Mental health is far from black and white. Every human is different. Every relationship is different. Therefore, many of the strategies that worked for others… might not work for you. All of this said, there’s always a way to recover and move forward. The goal of this episode was to show you that you do have options and to help you take control of your unique recovery plan. If you enjoyed Jackie’s approach, you can contact her here: https://healingpathsrecovery.com/ If you’re a high-achiever in recovery and you’re finding it hard to connect with other men at 12-step groups, visit our website and fill out an application: successfuladdict.com We provide high-achievers with a tribe of like-minded men to connect with in recovery.